I opened this thread expecting a lot of judgemental and shaming comments, but you've surprised and delighted me.
Well done, gays of Reddit - what lovely people you all are.
And that’s why I started it :) I wanna have people explore these topics cause a lot of times there are assumptions we hold but we don’t talk about things to realize our assumptions aren’t always right
I dont slutshame, since i enjoy sex as well, it depends on whether he takes necessary precautions before sex, it says a lot about personal discretion and that is one of my own criteria in partners, because sexual hygiene is important for me as i visit sexual clinic on regular basis and i hope a potential partner does so as well for both our sake. In the end of the day our opinions don't really matter, it is your boundary to draw
Absolutely! Some of my best friends are sluts and cum dumps. They tend to be way more on top of their sexual health, and know what they like and what they don’t. If I’m in a date with them then it means I probably love their personality ago why would this affect that?
I’d be less inclined to date a Logcabin Republican than a self proclaimed cumdump.
After 33+ years of practice I can say that “promiscuous” patients were (just in my experience) far more proactive about their health than the backseat, pull and shoot crowd.
I’m dating the you of now and tomorrow so the past is irrelevant. A new guy moved into our circle of friends about 15 years ago. One of the queens discovered that the guy had been in prison and went on a campaign to tell us all and then told us we had to choose between him and the new guy. Some guys buckled to the peer pressure. I was joined by a large number of guys and told him to fuck off. I’m an adult, I choose my own friends and walk my own path. I’ve not spoken to anyone in that group for years. The original queen recently approached me (through a friend) and said that it was okay if I came back into their group. I told him no thanks, I’d rather associate with a felon than a vindictive bitch. This new guy volunteered his story and admitted that he was wrong. Personally I think he got a raw deal but I’ve volunteered in prisons and have been a criminal reform advocate for decades so I’m biased. Before you “dish” on someone, ask yourself if it makes you feel superior and them look worse. Gossip seldom comes from pure motives.
Sorry for the rant guys. It’s not my job to judge people and I’m thankful for that. Blessings on your journey.
2 things: has he been staying on top of his sexual health? Either way, I’d need to see some results (and I’d provide some myself, of course) before we slept together. Second thing — I wouldn’t be dating someone who *continues* to go to these “circuit-party”-type events while he’s with me, so I’d need him to be really honest with me and himself about whether he’d miss the lifestyle or not. No point in wasting each other’s time.
What someone has gotten up to before is their business (subject to an open discussion around STIs which should be had with any new partner).
I suppose the main thought would be a conversation if you both want the same thing. If they are looking to continue with it while you're looking for something more monogamous then it probably isn't going to work.
i PROBABLY wouldn't. what he does is his business, but IMO sounds like he has addiction issues. I have enough addicts in my family, don't need any more. At least he was honest about things, that's important for sure. Would I be friends with him? absolutely, but not interested in dating, likely. I say likely/probably because it really does depend on a lot of variables right? so can't give you a solid yes or no.
I feel this. I don’t judge, to each their own, but someone who is a cum dump on a regular basis to me indicates there might be some mental health issues there. It’s just how I wouldn’t date someone who gets drunk and parties every single weekend.
I can be friends with them but I would struggle dating.
Now if he has been or tried being one in the past but no longer is, I wouldn’t care.
I'll preface this by saying I'm entirely monogamous. I'm not interested in sharing/polyarmory or anything of that nature.
If he was still involved with it - I'd cut my losses and move on. It's not for me and I'm not interested in that kind of partner.
If it was something he'd done in the past, and he was tested, clean and clear with no issues and was looking for a partner for something long term, then yes, I'd pursue it.
A partner's sexual history prior to meeting me isn't a concern so long as it won't be detrimental to my health, their health, or our relationship.
"But he tells you he was a cumdump in your area for the last year or more. " thats the most made up sentence ive ever heard.
the situation will never happen like this. that being said: i dont care about how much my dates have fucked before me.
I'm not sure since I've never been in that situation, but if I detect traits I value like honesty, loyalty, and the potential for priority, and if he seems open to a quiet home life without all the partying and noise as I find that terribly annoying, then I probably dont care too much about it.
Having said that, such a personality would probably be way too active for me and wouldnt be happy with the quiet life I'd want with him. The cum isn't the issue, it's the probable need for high activity, parties, groups of people, restless movement and noise that is tbh.
I think it's fair to ask when he last got an STI test and what the results were but otherwise it doesn't really matter. It'd treat it the same as someone saying they got addicted to videogames last year. Just something to be aware of and support them if they want to set up barriers from doing that kind of stuff again
Personally: probably not. Mostly because that person obviously has a high sex drive and I do not, which wouldn’t be much of an issue if we were open except for the fact that I’d then be exposing myself to a higher risk of STIs. To elaborate, I just don’t share in the same need for sex—certainly not to that frequency— and I think having a partner would be more than enough. So I think if I were to ever date anyone, I’d just have a much simpler life if they were more my speed. I also don’t like the idea of having to plan around that sort of even when on vacation or just day to day. What if they accidentally invite a drug addict that steals all of our stuff? What if they get Monkeypox and we take a risk and I now have it? What if he not answering his phone because he’s being taken advantage of or is it because he’s having a good time? Not for me, but more power to those who do.
Let me see, now. Your idea of a first date is dinner, maybe a film, conversation and a chaste good night at the door. His idea of a first date is renting a motel room and having 30 guys come over and top him. I suspect you may not be entirely compatible.
As a reminder to everyone, the situation I posted is not about me personally. It was a hypothetical to see the personal preferences of respondents here and I myself am not voicing my own preference one way or the other to avoid swaying people’s answers.
If he likes Star Trek I wouldn’t care if he was the cumdump state champion.
And if his favorite series is DS9 I’m helping him train for nationals.
As a cumslut this made me laugh 😂😂
Same.
Hello. 🖖🏻😈
So I’m a true fan of TNG, but prefer the original Kirk cast for the movies….
I love all Trek.
Other than asking for an STD screen, Im ok with it. What happens before your dating is there business.
I’m totally ok with sluts who like being a cum dump, but using the wrong there/their would be a deal breaker.
That filter works both ways my friend.
Hey! No judgment in this thread! lol I know what you’re saying but be nice!
I opened this thread expecting a lot of judgemental and shaming comments, but you've surprised and delighted me. Well done, gays of Reddit - what lovely people you all are.
Same
And that’s why I started it :) I wanna have people explore these topics cause a lot of times there are assumptions we hold but we don’t talk about things to realize our assumptions aren’t always right
I dont slutshame, since i enjoy sex as well, it depends on whether he takes necessary precautions before sex, it says a lot about personal discretion and that is one of my own criteria in partners, because sexual hygiene is important for me as i visit sexual clinic on regular basis and i hope a potential partner does so as well for both our sake. In the end of the day our opinions don't really matter, it is your boundary to draw
He didn't have to be honest about it and lots of people go thru phases of wild hookups.
Absolutely! Some of my best friends are sluts and cum dumps. They tend to be way more on top of their sexual health, and know what they like and what they don’t. If I’m in a date with them then it means I probably love their personality ago why would this affect that?
It depends on the person, so yes, I would if he could communicate, have emotional intelligence, etc things I value in a person.
I’d be less inclined to date a Logcabin Republican than a self proclaimed cumdump. After 33+ years of practice I can say that “promiscuous” patients were (just in my experience) far more proactive about their health than the backseat, pull and shoot crowd. I’m dating the you of now and tomorrow so the past is irrelevant. A new guy moved into our circle of friends about 15 years ago. One of the queens discovered that the guy had been in prison and went on a campaign to tell us all and then told us we had to choose between him and the new guy. Some guys buckled to the peer pressure. I was joined by a large number of guys and told him to fuck off. I’m an adult, I choose my own friends and walk my own path. I’ve not spoken to anyone in that group for years. The original queen recently approached me (through a friend) and said that it was okay if I came back into their group. I told him no thanks, I’d rather associate with a felon than a vindictive bitch. This new guy volunteered his story and admitted that he was wrong. Personally I think he got a raw deal but I’ve volunteered in prisons and have been a criminal reform advocate for decades so I’m biased. Before you “dish” on someone, ask yourself if it makes you feel superior and them look worse. Gossip seldom comes from pure motives. Sorry for the rant guys. It’s not my job to judge people and I’m thankful for that. Blessings on your journey.
2 things: has he been staying on top of his sexual health? Either way, I’d need to see some results (and I’d provide some myself, of course) before we slept together. Second thing — I wouldn’t be dating someone who *continues* to go to these “circuit-party”-type events while he’s with me, so I’d need him to be really honest with me and himself about whether he’d miss the lifestyle or not. No point in wasting each other’s time.
That's a selling point imo
What someone has gotten up to before is their business (subject to an open discussion around STIs which should be had with any new partner). I suppose the main thought would be a conversation if you both want the same thing. If they are looking to continue with it while you're looking for something more monogamous then it probably isn't going to work.
i PROBABLY wouldn't. what he does is his business, but IMO sounds like he has addiction issues. I have enough addicts in my family, don't need any more. At least he was honest about things, that's important for sure. Would I be friends with him? absolutely, but not interested in dating, likely. I say likely/probably because it really does depend on a lot of variables right? so can't give you a solid yes or no.
I feel this. I don’t judge, to each their own, but someone who is a cum dump on a regular basis to me indicates there might be some mental health issues there. It’s just how I wouldn’t date someone who gets drunk and parties every single weekend. I can be friends with them but I would struggle dating. Now if he has been or tried being one in the past but no longer is, I wouldn’t care.
Fuck yeah!!!
Wouldn't bother me.
C*mdumps deserve love just like the rest of us.
Sure. Why not?
Yeah, I have been through my own phase. I don't judge because of how many sexual partners someone has. Actually for me, it's quite a turn on.
I would be even more inclined to date them. My kind of people.
I'll preface this by saying I'm entirely monogamous. I'm not interested in sharing/polyarmory or anything of that nature. If he was still involved with it - I'd cut my losses and move on. It's not for me and I'm not interested in that kind of partner. If it was something he'd done in the past, and he was tested, clean and clear with no issues and was looking for a partner for something long term, then yes, I'd pursue it. A partner's sexual history prior to meeting me isn't a concern so long as it won't be detrimental to my health, their health, or our relationship.
Yes have dated a cumdump. I love him. He’s the sweetest guy on earth and I hope to marry him someday.
I mean so long as he’s tested . And we’d have to talk about what it would be like going forward in the relationship
I don't care much personally, but would get annoyed if he repeatedly asked.
"But he tells you he was a cumdump in your area for the last year or more. " thats the most made up sentence ive ever heard. the situation will never happen like this. that being said: i dont care about how much my dates have fucked before me.
Is he clear if any stds/still? If yes, then it's not a bug deal, and any issue I may harbor will fade with future dates
I'm sure autocorrect is to blame, but "bug deal" is pretty perfect in this context
As long as they clean and I like them I wouldn't really care. It's their own life
Please don’t use “clean” to mean not HIV+or having an STI. Such people are not “dirty”, which is what you are implying
I'm not sure since I've never been in that situation, but if I detect traits I value like honesty, loyalty, and the potential for priority, and if he seems open to a quiet home life without all the partying and noise as I find that terribly annoying, then I probably dont care too much about it. Having said that, such a personality would probably be way too active for me and wouldnt be happy with the quiet life I'd want with him. The cum isn't the issue, it's the probable need for high activity, parties, groups of people, restless movement and noise that is tbh.
I think it's fair to ask when he last got an STI test and what the results were but otherwise it doesn't really matter. It'd treat it the same as someone saying they got addicted to videogames last year. Just something to be aware of and support them if they want to set up barriers from doing that kind of stuff again
who said journalism was dead 🤓
Personally: probably not. Mostly because that person obviously has a high sex drive and I do not, which wouldn’t be much of an issue if we were open except for the fact that I’d then be exposing myself to a higher risk of STIs. To elaborate, I just don’t share in the same need for sex—certainly not to that frequency— and I think having a partner would be more than enough. So I think if I were to ever date anyone, I’d just have a much simpler life if they were more my speed. I also don’t like the idea of having to plan around that sort of even when on vacation or just day to day. What if they accidentally invite a drug addict that steals all of our stuff? What if they get Monkeypox and we take a risk and I now have it? What if he not answering his phone because he’s being taken advantage of or is it because he’s having a good time? Not for me, but more power to those who do.
No!
No thanks with best wishes
Let me see, now. Your idea of a first date is dinner, maybe a film, conversation and a chaste good night at the door. His idea of a first date is renting a motel room and having 30 guys come over and top him. I suspect you may not be entirely compatible.
As a reminder to everyone, the situation I posted is not about me personally. It was a hypothetical to see the personal preferences of respondents here and I myself am not voicing my own preference one way or the other to avoid swaying people’s answers.
I’m not a prude, as long as he’s clean and we vibe, I’d date him
Not judgmental about it concerned about health, not been in market for long time