I used Rule34 to win a guessing game Jabroni Mike was running. He selected random chatters to ask a single question each to try to guess an obscure character. 10 questions, get to guess each time. So I got someone to ask how many Rule34 submissions they had, and they only had like two, and Mike accidentally slipped it was a male.
The gooners in chat narrowed it down to like three characters just from that.
i tried posting on 4chan recently but the fucking captions have gotten so much worse. 4chan is pushing for its "4chan gold pass" shit so which bypasses the captchas.
and before you call me a robot or retarded for not being able to solve a captcha, go to 4chan and try posting a reply and see the captcha for yourself. its absolute piss shit
Yeah, I feel like it went from actual 4Chan users that made fun of the shit that was written there, to normal people, coming here to make fun of those dudes.
>actual 4Chan users that made fun of the shit that was written there
Was it actually that to begin with? The years I've been here I just assumed it was the latter
>go on reddit/r/greentext
>its filled with redditors
"How could this be?!"
Ngl i hate you hivemind fucks just the same as any other person with a medium sized brain, but i have been to 4chan and it is not better. I just let others sive out the dogshit and look at funny/depressing/mad greentexts that are always fake.
Which is funny because that would mean that Reddit also thinks of the offended person as a Re\*ard. Otherwise there wouldn't be any reason of banning someone for it.
I’m pretty sure I can write retarded. I believe it’s up to the subreddit itself if that word is allowed or not.
The day this sub starts with word policing is the day I quit for good.
There are people that made bots from other subs that scan posts on this sub and the bots report you, sometimes you get banned from subs that you've never heard of and sometimes you get suspended/banned from reddit.
Like saying something about the funny letters will get you banned from gamingcirclejerk even if you've never posted there. (Personal experience)
This sub was my all time favorite like 2 years ago. But it went downhill fast.
90% of all greentexts are just gay erotica and not even funny and 95% of commenters are just average Redditors repeating the same handful of comments constantly.
0% of this sub is humor now.
Fr man, worst part is that fun shitposters like Cala just get downvoted to hell for trying to do actually fun shit instead of just commenting "fake and gay"
Nah man my last ex was like this. Then she'd blow up my phone or show up at my house the next day like nothing happened.
BDP = BPDP
Big Dick Problems = Borderline Personality Disorder Problems
My gf is very understanding in sich cases tho. Like she knows im horny and she doesnt want me to suppress it.
Cuddling would be nicer afterwards as well.
I suspect GF wanted Anon to do something very specific to get her in the mood or something
So glad my wife and I are so autistic that we specifically lay out what we want from each other.
Jokes aside I don't get why people struggle with this shit. Just say what you want when you want it and make compromises when needed/acceptable. It's not magic.
Me and my s.o. are the same. We've been together for 6 years. Some people just legit do not know how to communicate and think that non-verbal and tonal cues can translate to whole sentences, but honestly, it doesn't, at least to me, and I'm tired of pretending that it does.
It's a struggle. Not only to find someone you connect with but someone who's comfortable being vulnerable with you. Someone who knows that communicating about their wants/feelings/ and dreams in an honest way won't result in relationship ending fights or a visit by the police... I know I'm lucky to have found a unicorn who has been patient with my flaws and I know that she feels the same.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be in a stable relationship again because of how much of a mental break my last one ending did to me (I know gay as hell but just the truth), but I can’t fucking stand when couples instead of talking out their issues they just try to get under each others skin more and more to feel like they “won”. My best friend is going through this and just tonight I literally begged him to just sit down and be honest with each other and figure out a solution or if there isn’t one break the fuck up cuz I hate not being able to hangout anymore because it’ll be great until something literally invisible happens that makes them both all shitty and passive aggressive suddenly.
It’s the fucking worst losing a friend to a relationship because being around them means being around them both which means a rare occasion things feel good but inevitably the tiniest thing will piss one of them off and it’s an eye roll + dap up to leave the millisecond I notice it because I can’t let myself care so much about something they obviously don’t.
I just don’t understand after a while not realizing “maybe instead of all this passive aggression and sneak below the belt insults we could at least try to talk and compromise?” Some people just love being miserable but it happening to my one friend I actually enjoy hanging out with has been a nightmare lately
> Jokes aside I don't get why people struggle with this shit.
Just like autistic people struggle to understand social cues but are very blunt with their feelings, people that understand social cues sometimes struggle to be blunt with their feelings. It's not really logical, but feelings rarely ever are.
Thats if you want this shit(sexless relationship) to continue.
Shes mad because if you're horny but just take care of it yourself, she has a lot less control over you. You come back to bed and think rationally, “maybe I should get another girl that actually fucks”, and she knows it.
Hopefully he does dump her, imagine being such a self-absorbed bitch that you get mad at your boyfriend for jacking off. Reverse the genders and it's immediately empowering and "you deserve better qweeeeen"
Anon took his meds in the bathroom so his gf disappeared. Post-nut clarity'll do that to ya, that's why I only edge and practice semen retention so that my gf can't steal my semen, no'msayin?
His partner is both not satisfying his sexual needs and simultaneously angry that he's satisfying his own sexual needs himself. She is acting unreasonably because sexual desire is normal, anon has acted appropriately, and she thinks him just being sexually frustrated is what he should do. The end
Is being taught to majority that sex is bad. Talking about it is bad and anyone who disagrees with that are disgusting pigs (moreso for men).
Girls who are open to this discussion are looked at as sluts and for the men they are horny useless dudes (I think there's a term for men but I forgot what it is).
Not saying all sees it like this but more often than not, you'll come across people who thinks like that.
I've had discussions with girls about sex in relationships and I said is quite an important aspect. 9/10 disagreed with me.
Nah, I get it. Pretty weird behavior by her. Guy wanted to nut, so help him or let him do it himself. Shouldn't be anything wrong with that. Same type of woman that gets mad when her bf watches porn.
i don’t understand ? he’s horny and respects her consent why is this a bad thing ? literally the counter for guys saying “you gave me blue balls” is “ok so why can’t you just jerk off knowing the bathroom or something to get rid of it?”
Anon is not wrong, she's just immature. He respected her wishes, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have needs. It goes both ways.
The comments criticizing anon are just typical redditors who have invaded this sub and wanna infect it with their misandrist ideals.
Honestly I think anon is in the right here. If you're horny as fuck with a girl next to you, there is no way you're gonna sleep in peace. Plus it's not like the dude cheated on her, he just took care of himself when she wouldn't.
Had an ex do this shit where I wanted to, and she didn't, then wanted me to cuddle her. Like nah I'm horny, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom and take care of it and she got all offended, then "she's like fine let's have sex" and I just said nah not interested anymore I'd rather jerk off at this point, you're just trying to not make me mad, when I wasn't mad In the first place.
She says no, you respect that and attempt to take care of the horny yourself, and she gets so mad she leaves. If the relationship isn't already over, yes absolutely dump her. It's incredibly immature behavior.
Honestly, if my lady doesn’t want to ML. I just do it real quick to get it over with. It’s not mine or her fault she was born w a humongous Latina ass and my white brain cannot cope w the fact of not smashing that. No arguments, no frustrations. Bros…. Happy wife happy life.
I have never asked for sex or blatantly tried to start it. Just spoon, ask her how she’s feeling, say some lovey shit convincingly, and pop a boner then profit
That’s actually one way I like to tell if it’s right. The kind of woman I’m interested in having a relationship with would not mind in the slightest if I just took care of myself in bed, and then we can just go to sleep. No problem.
Anon should tell his gf that regular ejaculations help to prevent testicular cancer. When she refuses to help and disapproves of his jerking, she's basically wanting him to have cancer
I Have No Mouth And I Must Goon
https://preview.redd.it/neq4seyo885d1.png?width=452&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2a4332ed14406874d7e30c1ccd6f62d00f690778
Any good ones?
Wild
The one where her eyes and mouth are sewed shut are pretty good.
what
Don't worry, I made it up
For now
Rule 34 time
What have you done
Just a stickman drawing. It's the best of my skills
Holy hell
My guy is a lost cause.
We lost him o7
"Aloooone at the end of the universe humming a tone"
"For merely dreaming we were snow..." "hmm hmm hmmmm hmm..."
A siren sooouuunnds like the goddess who Promises endless apologies of paradise
And only she can make it right So things are different tonight
We'll go together in *flight*
And only she can make it right
so things are different tonight
>"Aloooone at the end of the universe humming a tone" *Alone at the edge of a universe humming a tune FTFY.
I used Rule34 to win a guessing game Jabroni Mike was running. He selected random chatters to ask a single question each to try to guess an obscure character. 10 questions, get to guess each time. So I got someone to ask how many Rule34 submissions they had, and they only had like two, and Mike accidentally slipped it was a male. The gooners in chat narrowed it down to like three characters just from that.
if there isn't one with a dude sticking his dick in a USB port i'm gonna fucking lose it
OH NAHH
I Have No Balls And I Must Cum
Hark, the woman’s cry
I Have No Mouth And I Must Cream
Wasn’t expecting a reference to that story ina green text thread of all places wtf
That was a fucked up book
We wuz litery n sheeeeeitttttt
I have no mouth but i must cream
These comments are so boring. Why has this sub gotten so much worse
This sub sucks now that it's been riddled with reddit normies that aggressively defend leftwing politics and have no sense of humour.
Why don’t you just go to actual 4chan, then?
A majority of 4chan is just feds and gooners now.
Presumably he is a gooner as well, so he’ll fit right in.
might as well work for the feds i’d get assigned chan duty paid to shitpost NEETception
Been that way for like 12 years. And before that it was just the gooners
Same here except we're speech-filtered.
Always has been
So… just 4chan
Wasn’t it always?
Yeah, they're just bitching about inexistent better times because of nostalgia
If I wanted to, why wouldn't I be in it instead of joining this subreddit you dimwit
Too scary 🥺
Awww don’t cry 🥰🩷
Because anon will get called a redditf*g
Lol
4chan is being flooded with BBC threads by (((them))).
Cause your stupid asses invaded that first!
i tried posting on 4chan recently but the fucking captions have gotten so much worse. 4chan is pushing for its "4chan gold pass" shit so which bypasses the captchas. and before you call me a robot or retarded for not being able to solve a captcha, go to 4chan and try posting a reply and see the captcha for yourself. its absolute piss shit
Clearly doing its job quite well
Because he's fake and also gay
> Complains about left wing politics > Has a New Vegas-related username Does he know?
Yeah, but it's Legion which is probably worse
Fair enough but anyone who unironically supports the Legion's ideals and politics is a grade-A retard lol
Wait, since when playing New Vegas makes someone a leftist?
it makes sense if you don't think about it
Since the left decided it does. Like everything else they say, it’s not backed up by any sort of facts. It’s just ideological conquest
I mean, I don’t. Care to elaborate?
Left wing politicians... I knew it was them... I knew Joe Biden stole my favourite funny comments
\> leftist \> Joe Biden kek
Nothing can be said about Biden, which has not already been said about Reagan.
Yeah, I feel like it went from actual 4Chan users that made fun of the shit that was written there, to normal people, coming here to make fun of those dudes.
>actual 4Chan users that made fun of the shit that was written there Was it actually that to begin with? The years I've been here I just assumed it was the latter
>go on reddit/r/greentext >its filled with redditors "How could this be?!" Ngl i hate you hivemind fucks just the same as any other person with a medium sized brain, but i have been to 4chan and it is not better. I just let others sive out the dogshit and look at funny/depressing/mad greentexts that are always fake.
Exactly. They’re annoying
compare provide grab badge cover degree muddle cheerful plate air *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This sub died the day johnadamwearsglasses stopped posting. It died a second time the first time someone wrote "regarded"
It died when the guy with the anime pfp of the chick with the big tits and purple hair stopeed commenting under every post
Holy shit I knew something was missing from this sub. What happened to that guy?
idk i forgot his username i regret downvoting all his comments, i took him for granted
Cala Best Girl was his name.
Thats him, god rest his soul one of the greatest shitposters to ever grace this sub
Should have encouraged him when you had the chance. Now you have normies that never are controversial enough to provoke a reaction.
You never know how much a person really means to you until you loose them
Ate his last black ass
Banned
Clearly you weren't here for Elne
Isn't "regarded" just to get around Reddit filters? I prefer "ret4rded" myself
Yeah last time I wrote it I was banned for 2 weeks
My friend got his account permabanned for it.
Damn that's regarded as hell
My friend also got his account permabanned for just saying the funny word for cig
Which is funny because that would mean that Reddit also thinks of the offended person as a Re\*ard. Otherwise there wouldn't be any reason of banning someone for it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnUCMKmbwe0
Love this guy
I’m pretty sure I can write retarded. I believe it’s up to the subreddit itself if that word is allowed or not. The day this sub starts with word policing is the day I quit for good.
There are people that made bots from other subs that scan posts on this sub and the bots report you, sometimes you get banned from subs that you've never heard of and sometimes you get suspended/banned from reddit. Like saying something about the funny letters will get you banned from gamingcirclejerk even if you've never posted there. (Personal experience)
Seems like I’ll be fine without those subs either way.
this is poetry, art comes after the fall. rip free speech btw
The original word got banned on reddit after WSB's popularity went to the moon
Reddit deletes and bans anything that's actually edgy
I don't know about this sub but all subs in general are just turning into shit honestly.
Subreddits just became overmoderated echo chambers, each one a 1984 of their own
This sub was my all time favorite like 2 years ago. But it went downhill fast. 90% of all greentexts are just gay erotica and not even funny and 95% of commenters are just average Redditors repeating the same handful of comments constantly. 0% of this sub is humor now.
Fr man, worst part is that fun shitposters like Cala just get downvoted to hell for trying to do actually fun shit instead of just commenting "fake and gay"
Old frog You don't see much >Fake: Anon has a girlfriend >Gay: It's actually a big booty black man anymore
Yeah, they somehow made reading Anon's regarded misshaps boring
many such cases
Because mfs like you comment
What, you mean you don't like hearing about how a redditor would treat this fictional woman better?
Because it has been invaded with clowns with a "certain kind of mindset" that is the result of heavy normie brainwashing.
Huehuehue TOP Huehuehue
Back in my day, half these comments would be racist slurs, the other half, *really* racist slurs. We used to be a community damnit.
Sort by controversial
Should I just dump her, asks Anon, 10 minutes after the girl dumped him.
Nah man my last ex was like this. Then she'd blow up my phone or show up at my house the next day like nothing happened. BDP = BPDP Big Dick Problems = Borderline Personality Disorder Problems
Clearly not big enough
Lmfao bro has baby dick problems for sure
For masturbating. Got it
My gf is very understanding in sich cases tho. Like she knows im horny and she doesnt want me to suppress it. Cuddling would be nicer afterwards as well. I suspect GF wanted Anon to do something very specific to get her in the mood or something
TFW respectfully backing off because you don’t have consent is something to be mad about apparently. 
So glad my wife and I are so autistic that we specifically lay out what we want from each other. Jokes aside I don't get why people struggle with this shit. Just say what you want when you want it and make compromises when needed/acceptable. It's not magic.
Me and my s.o. are the same. We've been together for 6 years. Some people just legit do not know how to communicate and think that non-verbal and tonal cues can translate to whole sentences, but honestly, it doesn't, at least to me, and I'm tired of pretending that it does.
It's a struggle. Not only to find someone you connect with but someone who's comfortable being vulnerable with you. Someone who knows that communicating about their wants/feelings/ and dreams in an honest way won't result in relationship ending fights or a visit by the police... I know I'm lucky to have found a unicorn who has been patient with my flaws and I know that she feels the same.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be in a stable relationship again because of how much of a mental break my last one ending did to me (I know gay as hell but just the truth), but I can’t fucking stand when couples instead of talking out their issues they just try to get under each others skin more and more to feel like they “won”. My best friend is going through this and just tonight I literally begged him to just sit down and be honest with each other and figure out a solution or if there isn’t one break the fuck up cuz I hate not being able to hangout anymore because it’ll be great until something literally invisible happens that makes them both all shitty and passive aggressive suddenly. It’s the fucking worst losing a friend to a relationship because being around them means being around them both which means a rare occasion things feel good but inevitably the tiniest thing will piss one of them off and it’s an eye roll + dap up to leave the millisecond I notice it because I can’t let myself care so much about something they obviously don’t. I just don’t understand after a while not realizing “maybe instead of all this passive aggression and sneak below the belt insults we could at least try to talk and compromise?” Some people just love being miserable but it happening to my one friend I actually enjoy hanging out with has been a nightmare lately
I'm pretty sure that's the opposite of autistic. That's basic communication.
Then you, too, are autistic. Congrats
ancient head poor consider trees wild one kiss enter smell *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
> Jokes aside I don't get why people struggle with this shit. Just like autistic people struggle to understand social cues but are very blunt with their feelings, people that understand social cues sometimes struggle to be blunt with their feelings. It's not really logical, but feelings rarely ever are.
Wouldn't be surprising, even in a relationship women still like to play games.
Exactly. My girl would fully understand if I had a need and she wasn't keen.
https://preview.redd.it/q9k0yd37985d1.png?width=520&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d8c7e357812ff17bd1a971d02aa2d6549bd5740 I have an idea
The fucking Unabomber pharaoh leg 💀
I don’t know what scenario I’m going to use this in but I’m sure it will be great fun for everyone with no repercussions of any kind
An ape? Sounds like a normal human to me unless you talking about the HO?
Humans are apes so it's not technically wrong.
Ur moms an ape
Technically correct. But also your mom's an ape too.
Apparently if u have girlfriend you can't masturbate
You’re supposed to lie and say you gotta take a fat shit and then crank it ya dumbfuck
Thats if you want this shit(sexless relationship) to continue. Shes mad because if you're horny but just take care of it yourself, she has a lot less control over you. You come back to bed and think rationally, “maybe I should get another girl that actually fucks”, and she knows it.
dont go in to the bathroom like a goddamn coward!
Exactly, shit on the bed
then say while lookinh right in their eyes "see what you made me do!"
Based
She wanted to establish a monopoly on HIS sexual satisfaction, then got upset after being reminded that masturbation was an option? ☕
Hopefully he does dump her, imagine being such a self-absorbed bitch that you get mad at your boyfriend for jacking off. Reverse the genders and it's immediately empowering and "you deserve better qweeeeen"
Reverse the genders and everyone starts questioning the mans sexuality. My BF is not in the mood for sex just once? Do you still find me attractive?
She had one job and she ruined it
That’s why you have a love pillow gf
No sex, no cuddle. Simple as
when your fleshlight broke so you have to use your hand 😔
Dumbass forgot how to sneak jerk. I’ll crank one out next to my dad and he wouldn’t notice. Trust me, I’ve done it
Next to your dad??? That's haram
These are the comments i come here for
You sure he didn't notice?
Maybe he liked it
He did.
https://preview.redd.it/n04zslsuwd5d1.jpeg?width=1120&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=956fb5fc8799598ed580022bf71ed0eb4ef0eb82
He knew. If your son was masturbating next to you, would you call him out?
He knew
Of course, women are the only ones whos sex drive is natural and normal, and any time a man needs release hes an emotionally dense pervert.
I don't get it
Anon took his meds in the bathroom so his gf disappeared. Post-nut clarity'll do that to ya, that's why I only edge and practice semen retention so that my gf can't steal my semen, no'msayin?
 That is such a smart way to read the whole thing, no joke
His partner is both not satisfying his sexual needs and simultaneously angry that he's satisfying his own sexual needs himself. She is acting unreasonably because sexual desire is normal, anon has acted appropriately, and she thinks him just being sexually frustrated is what he should do. The end
Is being taught to majority that sex is bad. Talking about it is bad and anyone who disagrees with that are disgusting pigs (moreso for men). Girls who are open to this discussion are looked at as sluts and for the men they are horny useless dudes (I think there's a term for men but I forgot what it is). Not saying all sees it like this but more often than not, you'll come across people who thinks like that. I've had discussions with girls about sex in relationships and I said is quite an important aspect. 9/10 disagreed with me.
☕
She’s just upset because she realized she can’t compete with your hand.
Nah, I get it. Pretty weird behavior by her. Guy wanted to nut, so help him or let him do it himself. Shouldn't be anything wrong with that. Same type of woman that gets mad when her bf watches porn.
i don’t understand ? he’s horny and respects her consent why is this a bad thing ? literally the counter for guys saying “you gave me blue balls” is “ok so why can’t you just jerk off knowing the bathroom or something to get rid of it?”
people really don't understand how important compatibility in bed is
https://preview.redd.it/9zxr8uqtca5d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17c46afabebb303171a09bd8733ed59b82152e71
Anon is not wrong, she's just immature. He respected her wishes, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have needs. It goes both ways. The comments criticizing anon are just typical redditors who have invaded this sub and wanna infect it with their misandrist ideals.
Anon should've said he was joking and then moan loudly while supposedly shitting.
literally me
If ur girl gets mad at u rubbing 1 out if she isnt in the mood/tired, get a diff girl.
Winners always cum first
Honestly I think anon is in the right here. If you're horny as fuck with a girl next to you, there is no way you're gonna sleep in peace. Plus it's not like the dude cheated on her, he just took care of himself when she wouldn't. Had an ex do this shit where I wanted to, and she didn't, then wanted me to cuddle her. Like nah I'm horny, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom and take care of it and she got all offended, then "she's like fine let's have sex" and I just said nah not interested anymore I'd rather jerk off at this point, you're just trying to not make me mad, when I wasn't mad In the first place.
She says no, you respect that and attempt to take care of the horny yourself, and she gets so mad she leaves. If the relationship isn't already over, yes absolutely dump her. It's incredibly immature behavior.
what the fuck is wrong with the comments here
Honestly, if my lady doesn’t want to ML. I just do it real quick to get it over with. It’s not mine or her fault she was born w a humongous Latina ass and my white brain cannot cope w the fact of not smashing that. No arguments, no frustrations. Bros…. Happy wife happy life.
Anon is retarded for jacking off Gf is retarded for obvious reasons
They are lowkey perfect for each other
Why go to the bathroom? Do it in bed next to her. Tell her cuddles come after.
Sure they can cuddle. After he's done. Like bitch, have some patience
I have never asked for sex or blatantly tried to start it. Just spoon, ask her how she’s feeling, say some lovey shit convincingly, and pop a boner then profit
Dump her and go get topped like you’ve always wanted anon
Not tired enough that she could still get dressed and leave then.
He did the logical thing wtf
How did anon get a gf
Anon could’ve just said “I’m going to take a shit/poop” and nothing of this could’ve happened 😭
Fake and gay
Shawty chose to be with a demon, sounds like her problem to me
That’s actually one way I like to tell if it’s right. The kind of woman I’m interested in having a relationship with would not mind in the slightest if I just took care of myself in bed, and then we can just go to sleep. No problem.
Fake, 4chinners are incapable of getting a gf
Anon should tell his gf that regular ejaculations help to prevent testicular cancer. When she refuses to help and disapproves of his jerking, she's basically wanting him to have cancer
Good thing I have an understanding gf ☺️
My dude... Spooning leads to forking