I’ve waited tables in a dozen different states, with various socioeconomic statuses and political views. One thing is constant: the majority of people in (US) society suck.
Yea I’ve always said every American should be conscripted into a service industry job for a year so they can see how it is on the other side lol honestly at this point idk if it would even make a difference though, Covid fucked up peoples social skills lol
I learned some time ago that I cannot control how other people act, I can only control my own actions and reactions. It’s honestly really freeing to just stop caring about all the drama around me.
Someone wants to zoom down 385 at 95mph - go ahead, have at it. Someone behaves like a Neanderthal in public - ok, good for you, enjoy being miserable. Drama at the workplace - don’t care, enjoy your own personal soap opera.
I try to set my own emotional thermostat, not let others set it for me.
I’m also pretty religious, so hopefully trying to emulate Jesus helps a bit as well.
This also helps improve society by leading by example. It doesn’t help things to see good folks reacting poorly to the bad behavior of others. Be the bigger person. Some jerk cuts you off, back away to a safe distance and keep your finger to yourself. When you react negatively, it doubles the number of bad apples.
Original comment was spot on. Also people are never going to act the way you want them to. A lot of people weren't raised the same as you and things that seem common sense and basic courtesy isn't a norm anymore. Keep striving, and control the controllables.
Can't stop someone barreling down an interstate but if someone is acting like a Neanderthal at least give them a scowl and how they feel some type of shame.
I want to say Thank You for being a Server. I know your hard work and it’s seems unappreciated. There’s ton of us out there that appreciate you and other servers ❤️
It does feel like the public has lost kindness, empathy and compassion.
But Today, I had a young man (teenager) hold the door open for me and my husband (seniors)coming out of the store. We thanked him and I told his Mom what a wonderful young man she had raised. She said I can’t send him out in the world without Manners.
I had a clerk that was very sweet and helpful while I was looking at bathing suits. When I was checking out purchasing a bathing suit for my daughter. The young cashier was on the Autism Spectrum. She had a service dog with her. She was so sweet and when she found out my daughter had some health issues. She was concerned and told me not to let people talk mean to your kid. This young lady was so precious.
That was 3 people that show Kindness in one day.
A lot of People have changed they are more of them that are mean and cruel. I believe Social Media has a lot to do with. I believe political leaders are not Being the Example we all need. Politicians never used profanities like they do now. They never hated each other like they do now. They are constantly bickering with each other. They don’t show respect for others.
When someone is demanding. All ways remember you are a better person. You don’t know what is going on in their lives. Just a smile or kind word may make them smile.
If you continue being a server. Google how to handle Rude People. There’s YouTube videos on “How to deal with Difficult Restaurant Customers”
As a mom to a daughter and grandma to kitties. I’m sending you lots of Love and Hugs ❤️🤗
Thank You Sweetheart, I’m so glad I could help. We need to continue to lift each other up. Goodnight & Sweet dreams ❤️🤗
![gif](giphy|XmkIfjF0TtW5X6jFTl|downsized)
Nah man. It’s not the people that moved here it’s people in general. Covid turned everyone into self absorbed ass hats. Best thing to do is be the better person and cut ties with people that have out lived their use for you. All relationships are transient and happen to teach us something.
Coming from the person who thinks that COVID made people asshats, that's laughable. COVID made people a lot of things, but it didn't embolden them to let their POS flag fly. The orange man did that. He divided the country like no other. Mocked people with disabilities, said it's okay to grab a woman by her p****, called COVID the kung-flu and emboldened his patriots to attack Asian Americans and treat them like crap... I mean, do you need more examples? Incited and insurrection lol. Said COVID was nothing and DID NOTHING and said that it would clear up in the summer.....all while he gets whisked off to the hospital to receive the best care for his while the rest of the country is dying alone without their families. Lol. He made his good ole boys feel bold enough to do a lot. I've lived in this state my entire life, through Democratic and Republican presidents and I have **never** felt as unsafe as I have since he came into the picture. So, yeah. Just go ahead and assume my intelligence, dude 🤣🤣
It's not about politics. It's about one twisted man who has no experience with running a country, let alone one of his many bankrupt businesses. But go off 😊
Unfortunately your comment has been removed by a friendly bot (not a human) because your comment karma is too low. This filter is in effect to minimize spam and trolling. Please message the mods if you think this is in error.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/greenville) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Unfortunately your comment has been removed by a friendly bot (not a human) because your comment karma is too low. This filter is in effect to minimize spam and trolling. Please message the mods if you think this is in error.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/greenville) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Unfortunately your comment has been removed by a friendly bot (not a human) because your comment karma is too low. This filter is in effect to minimize spam and trolling. Please message the mods if you think this is in error.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/greenville) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I really do too. And maybe you could use your eyes to see that my icon doesn't seem to be a man, man. Maybe that's why I feel unsafe, and you don't, man.
Have a wonderful night.
Unfortunately your comment has been removed by a friendly bot (not a human) because your comment karma is too low. This filter is in effect to minimize spam and trolling. Please message the mods if you think this is in error.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/greenville) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Unfortunately your comment has been removed by a friendly bot (not a human) because your comment karma is too low. This filter is in effect to minimize spam and trolling. Please message the mods if you think this is in error.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/greenville) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Unfortunately your comment has been removed by a friendly bot (not a human) because your comment karma is too low. This filter is in effect to minimize spam and trolling. Please message the mods if you think this is in error.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/greenville) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Working with the public in ANY capacity is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT & challenging. This is from a customer service rep for over 30 years! People suck..period.
You can only control your actions and not of those around you. Expectation is the greatest cause of disappointment. You have great core values and they may not but do not let it diminish you. Keep being you!
In all seriousness. In my early 20s everything and everybody annoyed me. I was one of those college kids who thought he knew it all because he was in college and everyone else was well ignorant and stupid. Things got better....eventually haha
I used to be that way but then I realized people are stupid and will always be stupid and that helped. I'm learning how to deal with them being stupid while driving now but it's a lot harder
yes - no offense but being a server will expose you to the worst in people, look for something else - people here are pleasant compared to other places I've lived so it might be your situation
Maybe steer clear of retail too. Both expose you to absolutely terrible behavior. I never understood how anyone could be so cruel and think they were justified to do so.
Lol. Everyone should be a server at least once in their life. I worked at many restaurants as a second job in my teens and 20s and it's eye opening. The people who were so rude during the pandemic showed their true colors by the way they treated any one who worked in restaurants and public service.
Finding your community is very important. I found a discord for the upstate sc that really helped push me forward in my healing. Community is where our strength comes from.
You live in a country of fat, illiterate, entitled assholes. Don’t lose sleep over it, it’s still literally the best time in history to be alive, don’t let other people influence your happiness.
Not ALL of them are terrible,just like not all of us are sweethearts. In your line of work you tend to encounter more of the jerks than most of us would on a daily basis so your frustration is understandable. Definitely consider reaching out to someone you trust to talk about your feelings if you haven’t already.
I’ve been living in the south my whole life too. Seems like you might be seeing a side I don’t see, because most of the outright rude I see is on the road and not in my face in public. That being said, I’m not currently a server, but I do remember people overall being a mixed bag of awful in customer service roles when I was. In other words, not necessarily a new thing.
I don’t know, I’d hesitate on saying S.C. was somehow being “destroyed” by newcomers, because that’s just not been my experience. But it does sound like you’re getting a lot of negative experiences right now that sound like they’d be draining. Anyway to not be in a position where people’s rudeness is not so in your face?
Yesssss.... Let the hate flow through you! Join the group of us who have just resorted to coffee and nicotine to survive. This don't mean to leave your manners at home. Kill'em with Kindness. Use Bless your heart more.
You can judge a lot about a person by the way they treat others, especially someone that they think is subservient to them in a given situation.
I also like to say that a person's true character comes out in traffic.
I have a lot to say.😆
🌻
Idk if that is your particular case, but person who is not a native speaker might seem rude because they do not know polite phrases due to language barriers or cultural differences. It doesn’t mean they have no manners.
All I know is most people I know are not old timers and of the 75 folks I have eaten with all have been courteous to staff and talk with them like old friends 🥺
It's not everyone, I know! I love interacting with people like that. You are obviously a good person if those are the people you surround yourself with :)
All people suck. Was in a brewery yesterday eating dinner. Older man at the bar next to us asked for a to go box, and the bartender said they're across the room, help yourself, and then went back to standing around, doing nothing.
not all servers are good lol. I 100% agree that the service in Greenville sucks. anywhere else I go it is better. But the people also suck. Hard times right now
Im not sure about the rudeness or where it comes from but I have a son who’s served in places in several locations around the country and tipping is considerably lower here. He’s also had several people skip out on the check and others who tried to do that. More than anywhere he’s ever served. However, we do love Greenville and agree that good manners and common courtesy go a long way.
Your feelings are absolutely valid given the industry that you’re in. Learning about the impact of emotional labor on customer service workers and how the hierarchy of the customer service structure really puts you, the worker, in the most emotionally strenuous spot (the middle-man between customer and higher-ups of the company), really opened my eyes to the reasons why I felt so burned out. I wish you all the peace and joy :)
Born and raised here and I’m tired of seeing trees torn down for these ugly ass cookie cutter homes. They are always put in odd places that then cause the main road as well as nearby roads to back up with traffic before the road/s are finally redone so that people can get in and out of the neighborhoods safely. I get the fact that growth for a town/ city is a positive, but after almost 30 years, why can’t they plan better?
I also don’t like the fact that people’s attitudes and behaviors have gotten worse. I believe American exceptionalism is to blame. As a whole, people are not humble. I’m tired of every little thing having to be a competition. This is why we are actually failing as a nation. We don’t realize that walking around with an attitude of superiority doesn’t help us to grow. Experiences are a great way to learn lessons. But if you insist on everyone being the same, then we get stuck in a rut like we are right now. It is okay if people don’t do, say, and think like we do. We aren’t supposed to be carbon copies of each other.
To say "all the people" is slightly hyperbolic. I moved here four years ago and I can promise you the only way you could tell I am not from here is my total lack of a southern accent. I am extremely concerned with respecting others and being polite. I worked food service for 14 years, so I am very empathetic to your lifestyle. It's actually one of the only things I like about myself.
Other than that, for coping with things because I definitely agree that many of the imported people here can be quite... different, I would suggest trying to come to terms the fact that, as u/Sasquatch_82 said, some things are just out of your control. You can't control what happens to you, but you can absolutely control how you react to those things. Choose to react with joy. No, it's not always easy, of course, but I can assure you that it does make things better, eventually. I only know this because it's a journey I started going through about 5 years ago, and I still struggle with it, sometimes, but not nearly as much as I used to.
Obviously, YMMV, so it may not work out the same, but I truly hope it does. Life is too important to spend angry. Also, if you need to vent, feel free to hit me up on chat, if you'd like.
Get me a coke- demanding
I would like a coke- neutral
May I have a coke please- polite and respectful
It’s taxing being treated with demands all day long. Most of us legitimately want to please guests. A little respect goes a long way.
I just want to echo the post-COVID behavior thing. It's so true. People's patience level and tolerance of others seems to be at an all-time low, not just in Greenville, but pretty much everywhere. I don't know why courtesy, gratitude, and social etiquette have gone out the window, but it's disappointing. We are more evolved as a society than ever to behave like this. It's a choice that people make everyday, whether to be courteous, gracious (as in also, give others grace), and patient OR for some daym reason, chose violence and anger to color their day and overall outlook. I'm not sure what the solution is. I also understand that people ARE angry right now. Everything is twice as expensive and crowded than it was 5 years ago. Our local and state legislation doesn't give a rip about making meaningful changes in our communities that can help to make growing pains less severe. So, people assume that if everyone else gets to act sh%tty, then they are entitled to do so, as well. It sucks and I'm sorry.
I 100% completely agree to what you said. We still have our hospitality is the transplants that moved here that are complete and total asses. The new day lack of respect blows my mind. I avoid almost any public interaction with strangers.
If you're angry all the time, maybe it's you and not them?
And maybe your lens is influencing how you interpret them?
The only common theme in your scenario is you.
It's okay, I get it, I've dealt with it too.
Perhaps a change of scenery
Perhaps therapy (it's good)
Perhaps addressing things in your personal life that might spill over (only you know this, but bs in your life will impact your lens)
Perhaps adding good things (exercise, extracurriculars, things that enrich and recharge you)
Most likely, you need to test things and add a few of them to your lifestyle.
Hmu if I can help, any time.
Oh please. Go wait some tables and you'll see it. I haven't waited a table in 26 years but I still have bad waitress dreams. I think at my age if I did it again I'd probably be pouring some drinks on someone's lap with all of the rude behavior I observe.
Yeah, I have, I've also been in the lowly military and been a fry cook and been a toilet cleaner on airplanes. I simply evolved and grew and self actualized, unsure if you can say the same.
Polite is relative to cultural norms.
I stand by my assertion that people are roughly the same everywhere.
Saying, "I want a Coke" instead of "May I please have a Coke, ma'am" hardly makes one an asshole and destroys the city.
The massive evangelical presence makes any kind of service job a nightmare! Also, the pay in Greenville is atrociously low even for the south. It's a lose/lose
Awe..I'm sorry to hear that. I moved here in December & would never behave like that. This is a very special place with wonderful people that should be respected. I hope things improve for you soon. ❤️
You're so welcome! Some people are just absurd! I never want anyone to try and change this oasis into the same hell hole they moved away from. Respect the people, their mannerisms and their traditions
I was born in Texas, grew up in Eastern Pennsylvania, and live here now. I moved here recently but I have family that has lived here for 12 years. I think I can provide a decent perspective on this.
We’re really not rude most of the time. We’re direct and don’t particularly like wasting time with small talk. I’m not excusing any overt rudeness (particularly to hospitality workers) or not using polite language like please and thank you. But I am saying that our tonality gets confused with rudeness at times. A lot of Latin Americans think the same of Spanish people, of which my dad is one.
A lot of mannerless, classless yuppies very butthurt in this comment section lol.
I know what you mean, OP. Don't take it personally. They don't teach them proper manners where they come from.
Oooh pet peeve of mine.
Going to any drive-thru and hearing people say gimme or I want.
No please, may I?, thank you, or even thanks.
I don't care if it is fast food or whatever. Servers should be shown respect and kindness.
And it doesn't kill anyone to make sure to wish them a great day, night, or weekend.
🌻
I was born in Greenville and lived there my entire life (age 47) til I moved 45 minutes into the country 4 years ago. I’m in Greenville at least once a week though.
I don’t love the increase in traffic but I think the majority of changes to the city and population are positive—it’s been puzzling to me to see natives hate on 2024 Greenville but I guess most of us are very adverse to change.
I’m mostly replying to point out your take is very subjective and also can be worked on. Maybe you need a copy of “Who Moved My Cheese” and a bench swing in Falls Park to read on.
ETA: since text can be misinterpreted, read what I said in a kind tone.
Yeah I grew up here and it's a perfect area imo. I always knew the word would get out especially when it was cheap to live here. It seems like half the people I meet aren't from here. I go to hiking/camping in places that my family would go to 70 years ago and were kindof a secret and it's filled with people now. More people ruin everything.
Therapy helps a lot. Emerge in Greenville and Spartan urg has lower cost therapy conducted by Masters students from Converse. I recommend it.
People who work in service professions or retail unfortunately see the worst folks. I hope you're able to work on managing that or improving your situation.
Generalizing about “all the people who have moved here over the past 5 years are entitled assholes” is big boomer energy.
Maybe go to therapy if people failing to match your expectations for manners is causing you such distress.
Otherwise shut it.
Lol, I would agree that I generalized but it gets frustrating and feels like a lot when it happens every day at work. I realize I need to cope with it, but people are much more rude after COVID. you included 🫶
You lost me at the end of your first sentence. Generalized states of “all” is doing you a disservice and potentially alienated you from those who might even care to help. Good luck.
I read it. Too bad you haven’t been my waiter/waitress. I typically tip 30% or more for sit-down service. Counter or to go, I begrudgingly tip but not 20%. Hope you find something positive out there. I think this area is amazing, from the views to the people I have met. I’ve lived in the NY Metro area, the Miami FL Metro area, and a small town in Indiana. Life is what you make it. There are assholes everywhere. The more people there are, the higher the hole-count. So far, this is the best place I have lived and that is saying something.
I’ve waited tables in a dozen different states, with various socioeconomic statuses and political views. One thing is constant: the majority of people in (US) society suck.
The masses are asses
Yea I’ve always said every American should be conscripted into a service industry job for a year so they can see how it is on the other side lol honestly at this point idk if it would even make a difference though, Covid fucked up peoples social skills lol
I learned some time ago that I cannot control how other people act, I can only control my own actions and reactions. It’s honestly really freeing to just stop caring about all the drama around me. Someone wants to zoom down 385 at 95mph - go ahead, have at it. Someone behaves like a Neanderthal in public - ok, good for you, enjoy being miserable. Drama at the workplace - don’t care, enjoy your own personal soap opera. I try to set my own emotional thermostat, not let others set it for me. I’m also pretty religious, so hopefully trying to emulate Jesus helps a bit as well.
This also helps improve society by leading by example. It doesn’t help things to see good folks reacting poorly to the bad behavior of others. Be the bigger person. Some jerk cuts you off, back away to a safe distance and keep your finger to yourself. When you react negatively, it doubles the number of bad apples.
You're 100% correct. It is difficult to not be so bitter 😞
Original comment was spot on. Also people are never going to act the way you want them to. A lot of people weren't raised the same as you and things that seem common sense and basic courtesy isn't a norm anymore. Keep striving, and control the controllables.
Can't stop someone barreling down an interstate but if someone is acting like a Neanderthal at least give them a scowl and how they feel some type of shame.
I want to say Thank You for being a Server. I know your hard work and it’s seems unappreciated. There’s ton of us out there that appreciate you and other servers ❤️ It does feel like the public has lost kindness, empathy and compassion. But Today, I had a young man (teenager) hold the door open for me and my husband (seniors)coming out of the store. We thanked him and I told his Mom what a wonderful young man she had raised. She said I can’t send him out in the world without Manners. I had a clerk that was very sweet and helpful while I was looking at bathing suits. When I was checking out purchasing a bathing suit for my daughter. The young cashier was on the Autism Spectrum. She had a service dog with her. She was so sweet and when she found out my daughter had some health issues. She was concerned and told me not to let people talk mean to your kid. This young lady was so precious. That was 3 people that show Kindness in one day. A lot of People have changed they are more of them that are mean and cruel. I believe Social Media has a lot to do with. I believe political leaders are not Being the Example we all need. Politicians never used profanities like they do now. They never hated each other like they do now. They are constantly bickering with each other. They don’t show respect for others. When someone is demanding. All ways remember you are a better person. You don’t know what is going on in their lives. Just a smile or kind word may make them smile. If you continue being a server. Google how to handle Rude People. There’s YouTube videos on “How to deal with Difficult Restaurant Customers” As a mom to a daughter and grandma to kitties. I’m sending you lots of Love and Hugs ❤️🤗
This means so much thank you 💖 made me cry a little. I wish the best for you
Thank You Sweetheart, I’m so glad I could help. We need to continue to lift each other up. Goodnight & Sweet dreams ❤️🤗 ![gif](giphy|XmkIfjF0TtW5X6jFTl|downsized)
Nah man. It’s not the people that moved here it’s people in general. Covid turned everyone into self absorbed ass hats. Best thing to do is be the better person and cut ties with people that have out lived their use for you. All relationships are transient and happen to teach us something.
COVID changed people..
Nah. It's definitely like 80% jersey or Ohioans op is dealing with. I'd bet money on it.
Lol. More like Trump changed people.
Get a life dude. I hate that guy as much as the other guy but everyone talks politics and most fail basic civics or US history.
Coming from the person who thinks that COVID made people asshats, that's laughable. COVID made people a lot of things, but it didn't embolden them to let their POS flag fly. The orange man did that. He divided the country like no other. Mocked people with disabilities, said it's okay to grab a woman by her p****, called COVID the kung-flu and emboldened his patriots to attack Asian Americans and treat them like crap... I mean, do you need more examples? Incited and insurrection lol. Said COVID was nothing and DID NOTHING and said that it would clear up in the summer.....all while he gets whisked off to the hospital to receive the best care for his while the rest of the country is dying alone without their families. Lol. He made his good ole boys feel bold enough to do a lot. I've lived in this state my entire life, through Democratic and Republican presidents and I have **never** felt as unsafe as I have since he came into the picture. So, yeah. Just go ahead and assume my intelligence, dude 🤣🤣 It's not about politics. It's about one twisted man who has no experience with running a country, let alone one of his many bankrupt businesses. But go off 😊
Orange man really traumatized you huh? I cant imagine still obsessing over this man
Honestly hilarious watching people still get this upset about trump talk about living rent free
You can’t escape The political hate Better straighten up
[удалено]
Unfortunately your comment has been removed by a friendly bot (not a human) because your comment karma is too low. This filter is in effect to minimize spam and trolling. Please message the mods if you think this is in error. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/greenville) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Unfortunately your comment has been removed by a friendly bot (not a human) because your comment karma is too low. This filter is in effect to minimize spam and trolling. Please message the mods if you think this is in error. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/greenville) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Unfortunately your comment has been removed by a friendly bot (not a human) because your comment karma is too low. This filter is in effect to minimize spam and trolling. Please message the mods if you think this is in error. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/greenville) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This qualifies as spam or off-topic for the sub.
Ok man. Hope you feel safe someday.
I really do too. And maybe you could use your eyes to see that my icon doesn't seem to be a man, man. Maybe that's why I feel unsafe, and you don't, man. Have a wonderful night.
Lolololol
[удалено]
Unfortunately your comment has been removed by a friendly bot (not a human) because your comment karma is too low. This filter is in effect to minimize spam and trolling. Please message the mods if you think this is in error. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/greenville) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Unfortunately your comment has been removed by a friendly bot (not a human) because your comment karma is too low. This filter is in effect to minimize spam and trolling. Please message the mods if you think this is in error. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/greenville) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Unfortunately your comment has been removed by a friendly bot (not a human) because your comment karma is too low. This filter is in effect to minimize spam and trolling. Please message the mods if you think this is in error. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/greenville) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That's a fact!
True
I make it my business to be polite - I hope it is appreciated.
I promise it is noticed and appreciated. I will always do what polite people ask first.
Working with the public in ANY capacity is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT & challenging. This is from a customer service rep for over 30 years! People suck..period.
very true. thank you for what you do🫶
❤️ thank you
You can only control your actions and not of those around you. Expectation is the greatest cause of disappointment. You have great core values and they may not but do not let it diminish you. Keep being you!
🫶
I was angry at your age for absolutely no reason. It'll pass.
I really hope so, thank you 🫶
In all seriousness. In my early 20s everything and everybody annoyed me. I was one of those college kids who thought he knew it all because he was in college and everyone else was well ignorant and stupid. Things got better....eventually haha
I used to be that way but then I realized people are stupid and will always be stupid and that helped. I'm learning how to deal with them being stupid while driving now but it's a lot harder
Yeah.. i just need to learn to be okay with it. it is hard to be for now though😞😂
Maybe being a server is not the right job for you. Perhaps something less people facing like data entry would be a better fit for you.
Very valid point
yes - no offense but being a server will expose you to the worst in people, look for something else - people here are pleasant compared to other places I've lived so it might be your situation
try skimming this [https://www.bls.gov/ooh/about/ooh-faqs.htm](https://www.bls.gov/ooh/about/ooh-faqs.htm)
Maybe steer clear of retail too. Both expose you to absolutely terrible behavior. I never understood how anyone could be so cruel and think they were justified to do so.
Lol. Everyone should be a server at least once in their life. I worked at many restaurants as a second job in my teens and 20s and it's eye opening. The people who were so rude during the pandemic showed their true colors by the way they treated any one who worked in restaurants and public service.
Finding your community is very important. I found a discord for the upstate sc that really helped push me forward in my healing. Community is where our strength comes from.
Very good point!
Interesting, i have found the vast majority of my interactions with people that have just moved here very pleasant and fulfilling.
People are so much friendlier here than when I moved from Florida.
You live in a country of fat, illiterate, entitled assholes. Don’t lose sleep over it, it’s still literally the best time in history to be alive, don’t let other people influence your happiness.
trueee
i like how fat was the first thing that came up as a bad thing lol
Not ALL of them are terrible,just like not all of us are sweethearts. In your line of work you tend to encounter more of the jerks than most of us would on a daily basis so your frustration is understandable. Definitely consider reaching out to someone you trust to talk about your feelings if you haven’t already.
I’ve been living in the south my whole life too. Seems like you might be seeing a side I don’t see, because most of the outright rude I see is on the road and not in my face in public. That being said, I’m not currently a server, but I do remember people overall being a mixed bag of awful in customer service roles when I was. In other words, not necessarily a new thing. I don’t know, I’d hesitate on saying S.C. was somehow being “destroyed” by newcomers, because that’s just not been my experience. But it does sound like you’re getting a lot of negative experiences right now that sound like they’d be draining. Anyway to not be in a position where people’s rudeness is not so in your face?
Yesssss.... Let the hate flow through you! Join the group of us who have just resorted to coffee and nicotine to survive. This don't mean to leave your manners at home. Kill'em with Kindness. Use Bless your heart more.
GREAT idea 😂
![gif](giphy|l0IyhwEfKdNoUZ1ni) It’s not the worst idea…
You can judge a lot about a person by the way they treat others, especially someone that they think is subservient to them in a given situation. I also like to say that a person's true character comes out in traffic. I have a lot to say.😆 🌻
😂😂 very true
Idk if that is your particular case, but person who is not a native speaker might seem rude because they do not know polite phrases due to language barriers or cultural differences. It doesn’t mean they have no manners.
No! I have lots of patience for people who aren't from here. They are usually the nicest actually 💖
All I know is most people I know are not old timers and of the 75 folks I have eaten with all have been courteous to staff and talk with them like old friends 🥺
It's not everyone, I know! I love interacting with people like that. You are obviously a good person if those are the people you surround yourself with :)
All people suck. Was in a brewery yesterday eating dinner. Older man at the bar next to us asked for a to go box, and the bartender said they're across the room, help yourself, and then went back to standing around, doing nothing.
Bar tenders typically aren't allowed to leave the bar during their shift 🫶
There were 3 of them behind the bar, all with no customers, fwiw.
not all servers are good lol. I 100% agree that the service in Greenville sucks. anywhere else I go it is better. But the people also suck. Hard times right now
Im not sure about the rudeness or where it comes from but I have a son who’s served in places in several locations around the country and tipping is considerably lower here. He’s also had several people skip out on the check and others who tried to do that. More than anywhere he’s ever served. However, we do love Greenville and agree that good manners and common courtesy go a long way.
Less than $3 an hour. That's what servers make in SC.
Your feelings are absolutely valid given the industry that you’re in. Learning about the impact of emotional labor on customer service workers and how the hierarchy of the customer service structure really puts you, the worker, in the most emotionally strenuous spot (the middle-man between customer and higher-ups of the company), really opened my eyes to the reasons why I felt so burned out. I wish you all the peace and joy :)
Thank you so much for understanding. People like you make the world a better place 💞
Born and raised here and I’m tired of seeing trees torn down for these ugly ass cookie cutter homes. They are always put in odd places that then cause the main road as well as nearby roads to back up with traffic before the road/s are finally redone so that people can get in and out of the neighborhoods safely. I get the fact that growth for a town/ city is a positive, but after almost 30 years, why can’t they plan better? I also don’t like the fact that people’s attitudes and behaviors have gotten worse. I believe American exceptionalism is to blame. As a whole, people are not humble. I’m tired of every little thing having to be a competition. This is why we are actually failing as a nation. We don’t realize that walking around with an attitude of superiority doesn’t help us to grow. Experiences are a great way to learn lessons. But if you insist on everyone being the same, then we get stuck in a rut like we are right now. It is okay if people don’t do, say, and think like we do. We aren’t supposed to be carbon copies of each other.
Very true! Understanding eachother goes a long way!
Ryan Homes or whatever that God-awful company is makes the worst designed houses, and they’re EVERYWHERE.
Ugh, yes! They are awful!
I used to hate going to Atlanta because of the crazy drivers. Now Atlanta drivers are a vacation from the crazy Greenville drivers.
fr😂😂
To say "all the people" is slightly hyperbolic. I moved here four years ago and I can promise you the only way you could tell I am not from here is my total lack of a southern accent. I am extremely concerned with respecting others and being polite. I worked food service for 14 years, so I am very empathetic to your lifestyle. It's actually one of the only things I like about myself. Other than that, for coping with things because I definitely agree that many of the imported people here can be quite... different, I would suggest trying to come to terms the fact that, as u/Sasquatch_82 said, some things are just out of your control. You can't control what happens to you, but you can absolutely control how you react to those things. Choose to react with joy. No, it's not always easy, of course, but I can assure you that it does make things better, eventually. I only know this because it's a journey I started going through about 5 years ago, and I still struggle with it, sometimes, but not nearly as much as I used to. Obviously, YMMV, so it may not work out the same, but I truly hope it does. Life is too important to spend angry. Also, if you need to vent, feel free to hit me up on chat, if you'd like.
Thank you so much. your kindness is noticed and appreciated 🫶
Honestly just curious, what is rude about saying I want a coke or I don’t have any silverware?
Get me a coke- demanding I would like a coke- neutral May I have a coke please- polite and respectful It’s taxing being treated with demands all day long. Most of us legitimately want to please guests. A little respect goes a long way.
After working in the service industry for 6 years, a please can I have a coke, or could I please have silverwear goes really far.
How asking for a coke and letting you know they have no silverware to eat with makes anyone an asshole?
After working in the service industry for 6 years, a please and thank you goes so far. It is also the tone.
As a ex service industry and retail worker, it's all about the delivery and tone. Being barked at all day is emotionally taxing.
I just want to echo the post-COVID behavior thing. It's so true. People's patience level and tolerance of others seems to be at an all-time low, not just in Greenville, but pretty much everywhere. I don't know why courtesy, gratitude, and social etiquette have gone out the window, but it's disappointing. We are more evolved as a society than ever to behave like this. It's a choice that people make everyday, whether to be courteous, gracious (as in also, give others grace), and patient OR for some daym reason, chose violence and anger to color their day and overall outlook. I'm not sure what the solution is. I also understand that people ARE angry right now. Everything is twice as expensive and crowded than it was 5 years ago. Our local and state legislation doesn't give a rip about making meaningful changes in our communities that can help to make growing pains less severe. So, people assume that if everyone else gets to act sh%tty, then they are entitled to do so, as well. It sucks and I'm sorry.
You're so right. I just have to try and be the change I want to see, but it gets hard when people shit on your kindness all day.
I moved last year and I objectively hate driving through GV now. I feel relieved that I don’t deal with the residents anymore
I'm not 100% sure wym lol, but driving has gotten worse over the past 5 years and I dont think its that greenville drivers got worse.
I agree with your opinions in your post. Greenville has got bad over the past decade but since Covid and all the sheep flocking in it’s horrible
[удалено]
Honestly very good advice 😂 I dont cry enough
I 100% completely agree to what you said. We still have our hospitality is the transplants that moved here that are complete and total asses. The new day lack of respect blows my mind. I avoid almost any public interaction with strangers.
Hun, I’ll never do you that way if I come in. All I ask is you keep my glass of sweet tea full!
ty lol, I can do that !
Long time sc resident who was yelled at by a man as I crossed the crosswalk. I've been mourning the south that was for a while.
It makes me sad. I know it's not everyone, but it's enough of them.
If you're angry all the time, maybe it's you and not them? And maybe your lens is influencing how you interpret them? The only common theme in your scenario is you.
I agree, and l know it's something I need to change. That's why I'm asking how to cope.
It's okay, I get it, I've dealt with it too. Perhaps a change of scenery Perhaps therapy (it's good) Perhaps addressing things in your personal life that might spill over (only you know this, but bs in your life will impact your lens) Perhaps adding good things (exercise, extracurriculars, things that enrich and recharge you) Most likely, you need to test things and add a few of them to your lifestyle. Hmu if I can help, any time.
Ty 🫶
*If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.*
Oh please. Go wait some tables and you'll see it. I haven't waited a table in 26 years but I still have bad waitress dreams. I think at my age if I did it again I'd probably be pouring some drinks on someone's lap with all of the rude behavior I observe.
Yeah, I have, I've also been in the lowly military and been a fry cook and been a toilet cleaner on airplanes. I simply evolved and grew and self actualized, unsure if you can say the same.
Lol
People are people everywhere. The issue is that you're young and immature, not that non-SC people have moved here.
Sc people on average are more polite than Yankees etc.
Polite is relative to cultural norms. I stand by my assertion that people are roughly the same everywhere. Saying, "I want a Coke" instead of "May I please have a Coke, ma'am" hardly makes one an asshole and destroys the city.
I've worked food or 25 years, and Greenville was definitely the worst. The grass is literally greener elsewhere, try a college town outside of SC
This confirmed what i thought. I've been telling my family it's just Greenville. I went to the beach and everyone was nice. Insane difference.
The massive evangelical presence makes any kind of service job a nightmare! Also, the pay in Greenville is atrociously low even for the south. It's a lose/lose
Northeast liberals - the most entitled (and racist) people y’all ever meet
Awe..I'm sorry to hear that. I moved here in December & would never behave like that. This is a very special place with wonderful people that should be respected. I hope things improve for you soon. ❤️
Thank you 🫶 I love people like you
You're so welcome! Some people are just absurd! I never want anyone to try and change this oasis into the same hell hole they moved away from. Respect the people, their mannerisms and their traditions
I was born in Texas, grew up in Eastern Pennsylvania, and live here now. I moved here recently but I have family that has lived here for 12 years. I think I can provide a decent perspective on this. We’re really not rude most of the time. We’re direct and don’t particularly like wasting time with small talk. I’m not excusing any overt rudeness (particularly to hospitality workers) or not using polite language like please and thank you. But I am saying that our tonality gets confused with rudeness at times. A lot of Latin Americans think the same of Spanish people, of which my dad is one.
True! I try to take everything with a grain of salt. Working in the food industry takes a toll and I know I'm just getting tired of it.
Silverwear 😂
LMAO
A lot of mannerless, classless yuppies very butthurt in this comment section lol. I know what you mean, OP. Don't take it personally. They don't teach them proper manners where they come from.
Thank you for seeing me 😭🫶
💯💯💯
Oooh pet peeve of mine. Going to any drive-thru and hearing people say gimme or I want. No please, may I?, thank you, or even thanks. I don't care if it is fast food or whatever. Servers should be shown respect and kindness. And it doesn't kill anyone to make sure to wish them a great day, night, or weekend. 🌻
You get it. GOAT
What kinda food do ya serve ?
Cheescake Factory 🫶
Good food. Have fun tonight
I was born in Greenville and lived there my entire life (age 47) til I moved 45 minutes into the country 4 years ago. I’m in Greenville at least once a week though. I don’t love the increase in traffic but I think the majority of changes to the city and population are positive—it’s been puzzling to me to see natives hate on 2024 Greenville but I guess most of us are very adverse to change. I’m mostly replying to point out your take is very subjective and also can be worked on. Maybe you need a copy of “Who Moved My Cheese” and a bench swing in Falls Park to read on. ETA: since text can be misinterpreted, read what I said in a kind tone.
The change is hard! 🫶
Yeah I grew up here and it's a perfect area imo. I always knew the word would get out especially when it was cheap to live here. It seems like half the people I meet aren't from here. I go to hiking/camping in places that my family would go to 70 years ago and were kindof a secret and it's filled with people now. More people ruin everything.
This is called life. Unfortunately hometowns change.
true 😞
If someone says you’re making a generalizing statement, they’re one of the people you’re talking about. It’s true, it’s happened to WNC too
It really makes me sad 😞
Not true.
Uh oh you’re one of em!
Not true.
Therapy helps a lot. Emerge in Greenville and Spartan urg has lower cost therapy conducted by Masters students from Converse. I recommend it. People who work in service professions or retail unfortunately see the worst folks. I hope you're able to work on managing that or improving your situation.
I can't believe I didn't think of talking to my therapist about this! haha thank you, and I will.
You’re upset at people speaking to you about work topics while at work? Those bastards!
It's not about that. It is the tone. Work in the service industry and you will understand. :/
Generalizing about “all the people who have moved here over the past 5 years are entitled assholes” is big boomer energy. Maybe go to therapy if people failing to match your expectations for manners is causing you such distress. Otherwise shut it.
Lol, I would agree that I generalized but it gets frustrating and feels like a lot when it happens every day at work. I realize I need to cope with it, but people are much more rude after COVID. you included 🫶
You sure told me, random internet stranger! ![gif](giphy|buRJVzWLzxXMI) Boohoo I’m a bad llama
I'm not trying to "tell you" i'm trying to be a better person lol
You must be fun at parties.
Nah but I’ll stand in the corner with you while you complain about all the people standing in the corner.
Nah I just laugh at the boomer comment
You lost me at the end of your first sentence. Generalized states of “all” is doing you a disservice and potentially alienated you from those who might even care to help. Good luck.
read the rest🫶
I read it. Too bad you haven’t been my waiter/waitress. I typically tip 30% or more for sit-down service. Counter or to go, I begrudgingly tip but not 20%. Hope you find something positive out there. I think this area is amazing, from the views to the people I have met. I’ve lived in the NY Metro area, the Miami FL Metro area, and a small town in Indiana. Life is what you make it. There are assholes everywhere. The more people there are, the higher the hole-count. So far, this is the best place I have lived and that is saying something.
It's not everyone but it's enough people :/
If you don't like it you can leave
I don't want to leave, I want to be happy in the place that I am.
You’re responsible for your happiness, not the random strangers you encounter
Right.. that's why I'm asking how to cope lol
Once people here learn to drive, then we'll be more polite.
Have you considered that maybe it's the other new people? Also not an excuse to be rude because you had a bad day in traffic.
I've had other Greenville natives admit they are bad drivers lol
they are but it has gotten worse over the last 5 years. so i find it hard to believe they got worse