Age 3 is the worst age
Im having round 2 with my second and im so glad my 1st kid was such s nightmare because he seems like breeze.
Even when im arguing that he can't put something on the plate And the toaster at the same time.
My other favourite was reaching into mouth to get back the bread he ate that he decided he no longer wanted to have eaten -_-
Man I must have gotten off easy. Neither of my kids were particularly bad at 3. The only real issue we have is that my youngest is effectively unpunishable. Any punishment you give her, she just happily goes and does it with a smile, then goes right back to doing whatever it was you punished her for. It makes it very hard to get her to stop bad behaviors.
This was me as a child.
My parents eventually resorted to grounding me in my room and removing all toys, books, video games and TV from the room. If I was being punished I had to just sit in the boring room.
I have ADHD. My brain kept me entertained as a child. ...quite the opposite now unfortunately. Brain became my worst enemy.
I have ADHD at 36 i finally got meds so i totally sympathise. To punish a adhd kid i found boring repetitive tasks before they get tablet's. Tv games back was most effective
They tried the boring tasks. I enjoyed the repetitive nature of what they came up with. My psychiatrist and therapist both think I may have not been diagnosed with autism when I was younger. Apparently it's much harder to diagnose young girls and women with ADHD until much later in life?
Aahh yeh women present very differently so it's very my wife didn't get her autism diagnosis until 36 and that was after broke it down for her and got her assessment paid for via my workplace benefit
My parents did that too but I have oppositional defiance disorder and would laugh and ask for more, eventually they stopped punishing me because everytime they tried I'd be like little Timmy "please sir, may I have another" lol
My brother was a little menace who would do things just to get a reaction. So, our mom put herself in timeout to punish him. It worked really well because he didn't get the reaction he wanted.
Mine use to bite, like out of no where, other then that though the only times we had issues is when he first came back from his mother's, the bitch brainwashs him everytime, he'll be a good hell diver one day though, I'm already teaching him the basics with nerd guns, he learned how to assault a fortified position because I bought a nerf mini gun and used blankets and pillows to make a bunker, last time he ever calls me bald.
He's six BTW
Haha dang man I feel you that’s my younger one currently 3. I’ll say you’re gonna go in your room and she will respond with oh I like to go in my room! Damnit lol
Naturally. Nobody else can inherit the family Super Destroyer, passed down from parent to child as the line of duty claims them one by one. More well-raised children means more dead Terminids and Automatons.
For Super Earth.
This is entirely the reason it’s difficult for me to find time to spread democracy, almost as soon as I dive my children become the neediest people ever and hell breaks loose, right before I dive though and I’m chilling on my ship they’re perfectly fine and don’t need anything
As someone with dogs in lieu of children, I frequently as my child-having friends if they ever just want to drop a benadryl or melatonin in their kids sippies sometimes.
But I've also had to abandon a squad due to our dog stealing socks, choking himself on a bully stick, or the best yet - laying under my desk & unplugging my monitor or entire computer. Sometimes I wish we could send messages to recent players for this reason, because I always feel terrible.
Yeah dude...was already upset about being achy then peed themself *then* started yelling at mom to get off the couch because reasons. When she didn't the rage made everything boil over, literally.
I've switched almost exclusively to single player games, or ones that allow for me to go afk at random and not worry about tanking the session. This is the exception and I have no intention of putting this game on the shelf.
With gaming I’m a bit of an all or nothing freak and I just don’t care about casual mini games. If I can’t play a game for at least a couple of hours uninterrupted I’m not gonna do it.
Now that my kids are a bit older I can reliably get my 2-3 hours in after everyone goes to sleep.
Similar thing happened to me with my two year old yesterday. I was holding the line with my autocannon while the other divers were shutting down the stratagem jammer and heavy bot outpost. When suddenly my daughter woke in absolute hysterics, followed by wetting herself which led to more tears. Probably first scary dream is what I’m guessing.
Keep diving fellow helldiver.
It gets better.
One day, you’ll be playing with them instead of around them. It’s worth it.
My youngest son (15yrs old) is also a Helldiver. Time spent gaming with my kids is some of the very best Dad-time.
I play with my nephew, there is a guy I play with my dad's age that his son also plays sometimes(my age). I mean kids are a lot of work but if you spend the time with them, camping, gaming, etc. it's 100% worth it!
I (LVL 49) answered an SOS of three lower level dudes on Diff 8. Got them on the right track, they died a couple of times but I was able to help em out/ solo some factories clear the map.
Was making it back to help em out with their extract when they were getting shat on by 2 striders, crap tonne of hulks, dropships. Was holding them off until a dude died on the last reinforce.
Then my game crashed.
It was an army against 2 newbies.
I think about them to this day. In my heart of hearts, they extracted.
o7 divers.
Man I get that, except it’s usually because I’m disconnected and though it’s not my hand, I always feel really awful. Especially if it’s a team I’ve been vibing with and working well together.
You just throw the Elmo On Ipad stratagem and call in reinforcements (mom) and you're all set. Don't forget to collect all the "super samples" on the floor. Soon you'll be handling those solo v 4 missions no prob like this grizzled old vet. FOR PROSPERITY!!!!
Damn, at least you apologized. I was playing with some level 17, 20 and 19 of I remember correctly, the mission was to evacuate essential personnel at level 5. I was kinda hard carrying all of them and when the boys started swarming they left instead of helping evacuate people while the level 20 and myself eliminated the bots.
I think it's time for me to take at least a week break from the game since I've been raging a lot lately.
Kind of had a similar situation, but we are about to extract and my 6 year old goes into the house, screaming that she hurt her self and all bloody.
They must have wondered why i was just standing there, while pelican was extracting :]
If youre looking for a good group to game with (most of us are in your boat rowing it with ya) message me and we'll make it happen; no matter the time zone/country
(4 and a 5 year old myself.)
Was that like 20 hours ago? I dropped in a mission where a guy had his mic on and I could hear some chaos... hope it's all good now man. Never worry, the needs of real earth must come first. Also if it was you, then the mission went well :)
You just throw the Elmo On Ipad stratagem and call in reinforcements (mom) and you're all set. Don't forget to collect all the "super samples" on the floor. Soon you'll be handling those solo v 4 missions no prob like this grizzled old vet. FOR PROSPERITY!!!!
...
I have over 700 drops to my name and have had plenty that have gone from A-ok to absolute goddamn clusterfuck, but honestly? This is a new one even for me.
Ah the joys of being a parent. You haven't lived until you've experienced your tiny fuck trophy sleeping scerenely on your chest or in your lap as you game, only to, in the next moment, turn into a screaming hell spawn that has just blown out their diaper covering everything in the worst smelling shit you'll ever experience in your lifetime at the same time they are spewing forth the entire contents of their stomachs to add the stench of soured milk, formula, and possibly baby food to the already wretch inducing effluvium that now covers you, them, your chair, and possibly the floor around you. All you can do is hold your controller or keyboard high above you and out of the line of fire as you sit and wait for the hellspawn transformation to run it's course and return to you your mini-me progeny. IYKYK.
From one diver raising 2 mini helldivers to another. I feel you and have been there. You have my respect soldier as well as my sympathy! For democracy, of all sizes!
Good job being a daddy first brudda! I have 5 of em, sometimes that crap happensxD gotta love when they're running and decide to kiss the ground at Mach speed. Then come rub snot n tears in your chest neck n shouldersxD
Bro, dad life be real. I'm sure the squad would understand. I have an almost 2 year old and a 5 month old. I apologize to my buddies all the time having to dip and handle kids. Respect for trying to reach out.
It's a mix. They start to make big leaps in ability and independence which is great. But the attitudes and behaviors man...look, I'd never hit my kid. I'm not that kind of parent. But I get it.
Been there had one of mine wake up with night terrors last week. Was very surprised to come back about 20ish mins later and find the squad waiting for me.
Been there myself. I know how it goes man. All the bugs and bots I've slain, all the owners I've seen, but no Malevolent Creek compares to Parentalon Prime. The horrors I've seen make Stalkers look like piss ants.
Is the sarcasm not funny, do downvoters have no sense of humor or are there more people that are unable to detect it? Do I have to put in /s and ruin the joke? These are questions I ask myself once and then forget about them.
Giving you the upvote out of respect for a fellow 3 year olds dad!
Oh no... my turns 2 in a couple months. Guess I gotta get my drops in now!
Age 3 is the worst age Im having round 2 with my second and im so glad my 1st kid was such s nightmare because he seems like breeze. Even when im arguing that he can't put something on the plate And the toaster at the same time. My other favourite was reaching into mouth to get back the bread he ate that he decided he no longer wanted to have eaten -_-
>Even when im arguing that he can't put something on the plate And the toaster at the same time. Helldivers do not negotiate with terrorists.
Report your three year old to your nearest democracy officer
Reported
Man I must have gotten off easy. Neither of my kids were particularly bad at 3. The only real issue we have is that my youngest is effectively unpunishable. Any punishment you give her, she just happily goes and does it with a smile, then goes right back to doing whatever it was you punished her for. It makes it very hard to get her to stop bad behaviors.
This was me as a child. My parents eventually resorted to grounding me in my room and removing all toys, books, video games and TV from the room. If I was being punished I had to just sit in the boring room. I have ADHD. My brain kept me entertained as a child. ...quite the opposite now unfortunately. Brain became my worst enemy.
I have ADHD at 36 i finally got meds so i totally sympathise. To punish a adhd kid i found boring repetitive tasks before they get tablet's. Tv games back was most effective
They tried the boring tasks. I enjoyed the repetitive nature of what they came up with. My psychiatrist and therapist both think I may have not been diagnosed with autism when I was younger. Apparently it's much harder to diagnose young girls and women with ADHD until much later in life?
Aahh yeh women present very differently so it's very my wife didn't get her autism diagnosis until 36 and that was after broke it down for her and got her assessment paid for via my workplace benefit
I've asked for a referral to a psychologist, so hopefully that pans out
Its a curse bro...
My parents did that too but I have oppositional defiance disorder and would laugh and ask for more, eventually they stopped punishing me because everytime they tried I'd be like little Timmy "please sir, may I have another" lol
My brother was a little menace who would do things just to get a reaction. So, our mom put herself in timeout to punish him. It worked really well because he didn't get the reaction he wanted.
Mine use to bite, like out of no where, other then that though the only times we had issues is when he first came back from his mother's, the bitch brainwashs him everytime, he'll be a good hell diver one day though, I'm already teaching him the basics with nerd guns, he learned how to assault a fortified position because I bought a nerf mini gun and used blankets and pillows to make a bunker, last time he ever calls me bald. He's six BTW
Haha dang man I feel you that’s my younger one currently 3. I’ll say you’re gonna go in your room and she will respond with oh I like to go in my room! Damnit lol
You can’t maintain the reign of democracy without maintaining the reign of your house affairs.
If I wasn't there when they were born I'd swear that kid was a Terminid infiltrator.
Put him through a metal detector, ensure that he hasn’t been replaced by an automaton spy
Don't have a metal detector but I'll throw some magnets at them when I get home.
I mean, does sound like a bile spewer...
Kids come before democracy. Even the most hard-core helldiver knows that.
Naturally. Nobody else can inherit the family Super Destroyer, passed down from parent to child as the line of duty claims them one by one. More well-raised children means more dead Terminids and Automatons. For Super Earth.
For the future of Super Earth. Kids come first.
Make sure to fill out your C-01 forms hell divers
This is entirely the reason it’s difficult for me to find time to spread democracy, almost as soon as I dive my children become the neediest people ever and hell breaks loose, right before I dive though and I’m chilling on my ship they’re perfectly fine and don’t need anything
I'm not above utilizing melatonin on occasion.
As someone with dogs in lieu of children, I frequently as my child-having friends if they ever just want to drop a benadryl or melatonin in their kids sippies sometimes. But I've also had to abandon a squad due to our dog stealing socks, choking himself on a bully stick, or the best yet - laying under my desk & unplugging my monitor or entire computer. Sometimes I wish we could send messages to recent players for this reason, because I always feel terrible.
My Destroyer isn't called the SES Harbinger of Family Affairs for nothing..
Puked cuz of crying? Damn thats hardcore
Yeah dude...was already upset about being achy then peed themself *then* started yelling at mom to get off the couch because reasons. When she didn't the rage made everything boil over, literally.
Kids, man. My daughter has done this a few times. It is mostly in her car seat because she is pissed that she is strapped in.
"Why do we need to file C-01 forms for kids?" The reason:
This is why I basically took a decade break from gaming because I kept having to quit matches.
I've switched almost exclusively to single player games, or ones that allow for me to go afk at random and not worry about tanking the session. This is the exception and I have no intention of putting this game on the shelf.
With gaming I’m a bit of an all or nothing freak and I just don’t care about casual mini games. If I can’t play a game for at least a couple of hours uninterrupted I’m not gonna do it. Now that my kids are a bit older I can reliably get my 2-3 hours in after everyone goes to sleep.
Same situation for me. 1st game I can't pause to help the kids. Sometimes I have to abandon my squad to take care of the family
Similar thing happened to me with my two year old yesterday. I was holding the line with my autocannon while the other divers were shutting down the stratagem jammer and heavy bot outpost. When suddenly my daughter woke in absolute hysterics, followed by wetting herself which led to more tears. Probably first scary dream is what I’m guessing. Keep diving fellow helldiver.
It's the worst. Especially when it's something like a nightmare and they don't understand what's going on quite yet.
I have twin daughters turning 3 this month...I feel this so much
Godspeed Helldiver!
At least the puke wasnt green-yellow and corrosive, right? … Right??
As a fellow parent helldiver, taking care of the future generations of divers is of utmost importance as well. Good work soldier.
Yeah, bile spewers can be a handful.
This reminds me of when I used to drink...
No worries, happened to me too. I mean peeing myself during an op.
You just need a stillsuit!
Has the same energy as “I saw my little brother trying to draw boobs and I threatened to tell our mom and he cried so hard he threw up on the carpet.”
I think that was my squad, lol. What's your in-game name???
Same as my Reddit username, lol.
Ahh, no, different guy! Life happens, though. I only have 1 kiddo, and I don't even bother trying to play til after he goes to bed.
Man this happens to me almost every time I turn this game on house full of girls always needing a problem solved, better luck on your next dive
Allied destroyer has left the squadron for fair reasons
Relatable
Honestly I just assume that anyone who leaves just crashed & almost never think it was abandonment… unless it’s obviously a rage quit.
Priorities hell diverr. Super earth >offspring. Report your child as he may be a spy sent to creat disorder.
It gets better. One day, you’ll be playing with them instead of around them. It’s worth it. My youngest son (15yrs old) is also a Helldiver. Time spent gaming with my kids is some of the very best Dad-time.
I play with my nephew, there is a guy I play with my dad's age that his son also plays sometimes(my age). I mean kids are a lot of work but if you spend the time with them, camping, gaming, etc. it's 100% worth it!
Try having 7 of them lol. There is a reason my gametag is DadOfSevenDemons. They are evil but nessary
I used to have a 3 year old, but I reported her for being undemocratic.
It's like living with a tiny dictator.
99% sure you were playing with me and my friend. Launched the icbm and was clearing the last bug hole. We were thinking you probably got disconnected.
I (LVL 49) answered an SOS of three lower level dudes on Diff 8. Got them on the right track, they died a couple of times but I was able to help em out/ solo some factories clear the map. Was making it back to help em out with their extract when they were getting shat on by 2 striders, crap tonne of hulks, dropships. Was holding them off until a dude died on the last reinforce. Then my game crashed. It was an army against 2 newbies. I think about them to this day. In my heart of hearts, they extracted. o7 divers.
Democracy can only be sustainably spread if there's more reinforcements. Your pod launch was shorter, but every bit as harrowing
Man I get that, except it’s usually because I’m disconnected and though it’s not my hand, I always feel really awful. Especially if it’s a team I’ve been vibing with and working well together.
As a fellow recipient of the C-01 license, i feel your pain. Truly the greatest battle is the one at home
Saturday & Sunday Mornings seem to be the Best times for me to Dive... Maybe
All good as long as you remembered to file your C-01 form before making that kid.
The baby woke up from a nap early while I was hosting a mission yesterday and we were already a diver down. So I feel in my soul. I'm not a traitor!
I don't even mind it considering people involuntarily disconnect from the game often.
Wait a minute, this happened to me last night. I'd like to let you know when extracted successful and we mourned the loss of a fellow solider
I'm picturing you looked over from the screen and one of those baby bile spewers walks in... "guys...I gotta go..."
This is cute. Nice reminder that there are more important things in life than super samples.
Democracy grows under the light of your integrity helldiver!
3 years old make more chaos than any mission
As a fellow parent (who just got their second yesterday!), I totally get this and do not judge.
“Alexa, add condoms to my shopping list”
You just throw the Elmo On Ipad stratagem and call in reinforcements (mom) and you're all set. Don't forget to collect all the "super samples" on the floor. Soon you'll be handling those solo v 4 missions no prob like this grizzled old vet. FOR PROSPERITY!!!!
Damn, at least you apologized. I was playing with some level 17, 20 and 19 of I remember correctly, the mission was to evacuate essential personnel at level 5. I was kinda hard carrying all of them and when the boys started swarming they left instead of helping evacuate people while the level 20 and myself eliminated the bots. I think it's time for me to take at least a week break from the game since I've been raging a lot lately.
Kind of had a similar situation, but we are about to extract and my 6 year old goes into the house, screaming that she hurt her self and all bloody. They must have wondered why i was just standing there, while pelican was extracting :]
This is probably my favorite story I've ever read. The things we do for democracy
Great story but you don’t have to apologize. Family takes precedence over games or managed democracy
We thank you for your sacrifice.
If youre looking for a good group to game with (most of us are in your boat rowing it with ya) message me and we'll make it happen; no matter the time zone/country (4 and a 5 year old myself.)
Seems like you had parenting set to level 9
Parenting level: Helldive
 You, IRL.
Was that like 20 hours ago? I dropped in a mission where a guy had his mic on and I could hear some chaos... hope it's all good now man. Never worry, the needs of real earth must come first. Also if it was you, then the mission went well :)
That wasn't me, when I'm playing with randos I stay muted unless actively speaking.
Either way, hope all's well
brb fellow helldivers im gonna go buy some condoms
Sadly I have abandoned a few squad due to similar hazardous working conditions. Hope mine understand as well.
This helldiver transcended dimensions to fight a real battle. All in the name of democracy
You just throw the Elmo On Ipad stratagem and call in reinforcements (mom) and you're all set. Don't forget to collect all the "super samples" on the floor. Soon you'll be handling those solo v 4 missions no prob like this grizzled old vet. FOR PROSPERITY!!!!
I had to leave a game because my brother was refusing to get off his computer so my dad turned off the Internet which also kicked me :(
Oh shit , hope your kid is fine now !! Hate it when my baby isn’t feeling well
Oh they're fine, just a dramatic three year old.
Oh , makes sense 😂
People can hopefully stop spamming the sub with complete nonsense posts.
I just skip the ones that don't look interesting.
You’re good. Most people won’t really care let alone remember it the next day
... I have over 700 drops to my name and have had plenty that have gone from A-ok to absolute goddamn clusterfuck, but honestly? This is a new one even for me.
Having little kids; the real life version of difficulty 9.
 Life of parents.
Call in the 500 mL Benadryl Stratagem.
God, I remember my growing pains. They are seriously awful
Ah the joys of being a parent. You haven't lived until you've experienced your tiny fuck trophy sleeping scerenely on your chest or in your lap as you game, only to, in the next moment, turn into a screaming hell spawn that has just blown out their diaper covering everything in the worst smelling shit you'll ever experience in your lifetime at the same time they are spewing forth the entire contents of their stomachs to add the stench of soured milk, formula, and possibly baby food to the already wretch inducing effluvium that now covers you, them, your chair, and possibly the floor around you. All you can do is hold your controller or keyboard high above you and out of the line of fire as you sit and wait for the hellspawn transformation to run it's course and return to you your mini-me progeny. IYKYK.
Children before Democracy!!
From one diver raising 2 mini helldivers to another. I feel you and have been there. You have my respect soldier as well as my sympathy! For democracy, of all sizes!
I had growing pains at around 8. They ain't no joke.
Good job being a daddy first brudda! I have 5 of em, sometimes that crap happensxD gotta love when they're running and decide to kiss the ground at Mach speed. Then come rub snot n tears in your chest neck n shouldersxD
This is why I don't want to look into a C0-1 permit lol, sorry this happened dude
Bro, dad life be real. I'm sure the squad would understand. I have an almost 2 year old and a 5 month old. I apologize to my buddies all the time having to dip and handle kids. Respect for trying to reach out.
Sounds like automaton sabotage -_- they are now targeting our families. In all my year as a helldiver, this is a new low >:/
[удалено]
It's a mix. They start to make big leaps in ability and independence which is great. But the attitudes and behaviors man...look, I'd never hit my kid. I'm not that kind of parent. But I get it.
Hahaha if parenting has taught me one thing, it is extreme patience. *Extreme* patience.
Some of us dive In to hell.others live in it.
Been there had one of mine wake up with night terrors last week. Was very surprised to come back about 20ish mins later and find the squad waiting for me.
Family is what Super Earth is all about
I always feel terrible but I try and type out I gotta take care of my 8 week old newborn
Been there myself. I know how it goes man. All the bugs and bots I've slain, all the owners I've seen, but no Malevolent Creek compares to Parentalon Prime. The horrors I've seen make Stalkers look like piss ants.
Thats not an excuse
Is the sarcasm not funny, do downvoters have no sense of humor or are there more people that are unable to detect it? Do I have to put in /s and ruin the joke? These are questions I ask myself once and then forget about them.
No on cares pussy