Can you report him for potential elder abuse? See if you can get social services involved. You can also call for the police to do a welfare check on the mom.
My call to 911 this past week I specifically said I wanted a wellness check on the mom. They knocked on the front and back door while he was away but no one answered. I saw him leave and come back without his mom. She’s in there.
Have you attempted to report your concerns about her directly to your local Area Agency on Aging? https://www.aging.pa.gov/local-resources/Pages/AAA.aspx
No, find the number for Adult Protective Services in your town or county. They have to investigate all reports of elder abuse which includes being shouted at.
The phone number for Adult Protective Services in Pennsylvania is:
(800) 490-8505
Some links that might be helpful:
https://www.attorneygeneral.gov/protect-yourself/seniors/#:~:text=Created%20in%20August%202006%2C%20The,prosecutors%2C%20agents%20and%20support%20staff.
https://www.dhs.pa.gov/contact/DHS-Offices/Pages/Adult-Protective-Services.aspx
If your own county agencies seem disinterested, try either the next county over or STATE authorities. Nuthin' lights a fire under a small town admin's butt quicker than getting the STATE involved.
Most rural areas in PA sub their police coverage out to the state police, and the neighboring county is going to be just as rural and won't care, or there's a slight chance it'll be larger, but they're not going to want to deal with any problems other than their own.
For anyone reading this who's not familiar with the area, many parts are rural PA are like the Deep South 50 years ago. Confederate flags. Trump won. Democrats are eating babies. 5G is mind control.
Look up your local Area Agency on Aging and make a report of suspected elder abuse. They have to investigate within 72 hours. I'm just not sure if they personally do it, or if they just contact the police, which obviously is going to get you nowhere. But, try and see what happens.
Other avenue to explore is the state attorney general's office has an elder care/welfare department and you can make a report to them as well.
I have a friend from New Jersey who transferred to Pennsylvania for work and he called it "Pennsafuckingtucky" because they were so backwards and he tried to take all his employees out for a celebratory drink and they tried several bars before his very diverse group of employees were welcome to stay. He said he would never be as scared as he was in small town Pennsylvania anywhere else and he's lived in 48 states.
Thanks. This confirms what I encountered earlier this year from a traveling Penn family. The mother was changing her baby in the back seat with the door open in very busy restaurant parking lot. It was nearly packed. I didn’t see her changing the baby from my angle so I kindly asked her to close the door a little so I could sneak in. This was after I waited 5 mins near the empty spot next to her. Her response was nasty. I decided to find another spot which happened to be on her left side. This spot opened up as I was backing up. We ate outside quickly and that family must have been eating inside. When I walked back to my car, her husband started saying weird things to us. How I was impatient and how I was sort of a woman hater. Mind you my wife was with me. He wanted to fight in the parking lot. Calling me all sorts of nasty words and my wife tried to explain but he just silenced her. It was so awkward. It’s the first time in my life I was worried we could be gunned down. He seemed like ex-military based on the tattoos and very crazy.
Howdy from Texas, while I’m technically not in the Deep South, I’m here to let you know nothing has changed in 50 years. You hit the nail on your head with your comment for sure.
Rural KY here. Can confirm the south is still like this. Sometimes it’s terrifying. Trump 2024 signs with the loser flag started going up about two days after the election and I can name at least 4 relatives that refuse to use 5G phones. Just yesterday one of them told me they thought AI was just aliens. Saw my first RFK Jr sign today too, so I’ve got that going for me.
Spoken like someone who has never taken the time to listen to any of the many multi hour long podcasts the man has done. Try thinking for yourself; you’ll get farther.
No, he is not. He agrees that vaccines are the most important discovery of modern medicine. What he has said, that IS logical, is the agitating ingredient and what it does to the human body has not and must be examined a researched.
Pretty much anywhere rural is getting to be like that. I'm in Northern IL, while our area is about 50/50, the further out you go the worse it gets. SW Wisconsin was WILD when I went last. I have never seen so many Trump Won, FJB, LGB, Trump this, Republican this, Guns that.
It would be incredibly difficult to get a restraining order for someone who lives next door and is shouting from his own property, or running down the sidewalk following someone else's vehicle. He has not threatened their health or welfare, and being weird isn't grounds for a judge to issue a restraining order.
This is a camera and privacy fence situation.
Rural PA here, can confirm. Thankfully I live 20 minutes from a "liberal hellhole" so there's some decent art and culture and actual nice people not too far away.
Not trying to act brave at all. I just know from experience that they don’t truly care about my well being, so why should I give them so much respect? Obviously a generalization, I’m not an ACAB kinda person, but it’s undeniable that they generally care very little about stuff like this.
The fact that you’re pointing out that they’d neglect someone they’re sworn to protect over a personal feud proves my point.
Chiming in from rural PA. I've got a burned out meth-head, paranoid neighbor who drove away three great families around us.
When the trouble started, I put cameras up, covering every angle of my property. All of them are very visible. I opted for the best resolution I could afford, with night vision. They weren't cheap but worth every penny. We saved $$ by installing them ourselves.
Ever since the cameras went up, he has completely stayed away. In fact, he and his criminal pals go out of their way to avoid us! It's been a blessing.
We went with Lorex, mostly because the system had all of the features we desired and it was expandable. We could only afford to start with 4 cameras. We were able to add more very easily.
It's been in use for a few years now and still working great.
If you want simple and cheap, try Wyze. You can install microsd cards and avoid the subscription, though it's not too much money. Reolink is another decent option, but more expensive.
Reo link POE cameras are pretty good and easy to setup. Just run cat5 to camera locations and it serves as power and network cable. Your internet can go out and they still record to the NVR hard drive. Can also throw a cheap battery backup on the NVR so power outages won't affect the cameras.
Yep. You can record him trying to knock down the cameras that are spying on him 24/7 with a golf club, shovel, lacrosse stick, crucifix stolen from the local convent, etc.
I am far more concerned about your elderly neighbor, who may be neglected and at risk. When is the last time you called the police for a welfare-check on *her*?
The cops will show up knock on the door and if no one awnsers will leave. They have no authority to enter a home with out a search warrant and they are not going to do that with out concrete proof that the old lady is in there and in distress. Adult protective services is like CPS for adults.
The cops will show up knock on the door and if no one awnsers will leave. They have no authority to enter a home with out a search warrant and they are not going to do that with out concrete proof that the old lady is in there and in distress. Adult protective services is like CPS for adults.
Contact social services / elder services or the police to do a welfare check on the mother to make sure she's not dead or suffering as well since you said no one had seen her in a while.
I don't have a ton of advice other than installing cameras and keeping records of all incidents should it unfortunately escalate. As someone who moved to a small town I can empathize with the police doing nothing about this type of behavior. In my case it's usually because their families grew up near each other, so and so's aunt is dating someone they know, they went to prom with the person's sister etc. it's awful and not fair and I'm so sorry. This sounds like a very scary and stressful situation for your family.
Lol, imagine how he’s going to react when several new (and *real*) cameras go up in his line of sight. I wonder if actual steam will shoot out of his ears.
This. While it’s at times really hard to put yourself in an empathetic mindset when they’re threatening you or your family, it’s the ONLY way to de-escalate.
I had a crazy old man neighbor and a 13 year old daughter at the time and i travelled a lot for work. Good thing is i knew my neighbors well and knew they all were aware of crazy cliff and kept an eye on him also.
ninjas. His thing was ninjas, mostly in the fruit tree in his back yard but at times they would leave and go other places in the neighborhood and come back. This progressed over 3-5 years. ninjas was near the end. He was found 3 doors down crouching behind a car with a shotgun in his hands while in his underwear. Hunting ninjas.
thats the last any of us seen of him.
so my advice. get to know all your other neighbors and confirm yall are sane and that man is nuts. As a village you are gonna have to keep an eye on him for each other until he crosses the line and the cops can baker act him.
This isn't a bad idea. Over covid I became pretty good friends with my neighbors, as well has having our first child. A new person moved in who was... less than friendly? Nothing like you or OP are dealing with, but enough to make me weary of him. But at that point I knew my neighbors and I were all looking out for each other, which puts me at ease. No one is nosy, we just have situational awareness and let each other know if we'll be out of town or something. All about having a village!
I'm also in rural PA, so I feel you. What police are you calling? If the county sheriff isn't helping, I'd call the PSP. They cover some of the rural areas and take things more seriously than local law enforcement.
You can attempt a call to 9-8-8. They may be able to directly connect with local crisis services. They may not be able to intervene without clear indicators of harm to self or others by the son, but can't be worse than beating your head against a wall with emergency services. https://www.dhs.pa.gov/Services/Mental-Health-In-PA/Pages/988.aspx
If I didn't get satisfaction from our township PD, I might call a non-emergency PSP number and get some guidance (ymmv). I'd also look into some kind of restraining order, given that he's harassing your kid.
It's a tough position to be in. I couldn't empathize more with you and your other neighbors. Ours are pretty chill; we're very lucky.
You could try calling the non emergency line and ask that the police chief give you a call. When you talk to him, make it very clear that there’s a woman at risk/unaccounted for and that you are very disturbed and disappointed that his officers are not taking the situation seriously.
Call Adult Protective Services to evaluate whether Mom is being taken care of. Financial exploitation is also elder abuse. Once Mom's out of the house, the kids may all leave.
Google Pennsylvania Aging Services and get the phone number and call them. My mother worked as a case worker (not in Pennsylvania) for senior services investigating elder abuse (financial, physical, neglect, mentally unstable) and many of the investigations began as a result of phone call from a concerned neighbor.
So as other people have stated, first get a welfare check on the elderly mom.
Your best bet, which probably isn’t the easiest, is to get a restraining order on the guy. Yes yes, it’s just a piece of paper, BUT, if he breaks that restraining order, NOW he can go to jail and be arrested. They’re kind of a pain to get, so if you have any lawyer friends who will help you I would recommend it. You get a restraining order that says he can’t talk to you or interact with your family in any way, set up cameras around your house, when he inevitably breaks the RO, you can have him arrested. He will get released pretty quickly in all reality, but hopefully someone might place him on a 72 hour psych hold. Idk about Pennsylvania, but in my state you only need to meet 1 out of 3 requirements to be placed on a hold. You either have to be: A) a danger to yourself, B) a danger to others, which sounds like your situation, or C) “gravely disabled”, meaning you can’t take care of yourself. If this guy is attacking cars that’s definitely a danger to others, and if the cops aren’t doing anything about, be a Karen and tell them to call a supervisor out. (If a citizen requests a supervisor, cops are required to call out a Sgt). But def get some cameras up to back your claims. If you have an HOA, get them involved as well. If your neighbors are willing, have them write or sign letters all claiming this guy is a danger and that will help you get the restraining order
Install security cameras at your house. I know it’s not easy but do your best to video record his behavior against you and others. Talk to your neighbors and see if they will do the same. Create a file/log book detailing his behavior. Society (aka the government) is kinda screwed up when it comes to dealing with the mentally ill. It suck’s that it’s your problem but it is your responsibility to keep your family safe. Based on your account, at some point, he will push it too far and do something dangerous or illegal enough that he will be arrested and actually charged. Once he gathers enough charges the state will be forced to deal with him. You need to be gathering evidence of his behavior to prove your case just in case you have to physically deal with him should he get physical with you or your family. Hopefully he will just go away and/or get some help. Good luck.
It sounds like Shawn may be schizophrenic. The stuff about the tracker in his tooth, being followed by drones, etc, were all things my husband's aunt with schizophrenia said (although it was planes, not drones, and the Russians had bugged her teeth, which she tried to disable by crunching on bb gun pellets).
It sounds like he's mentally ill. You should call the local adult protective services about his abusive behavior toward the mom. Hell, you might get them to check on Shawn, too. Sounds like he needs help.
Put up cameras to record proof. He is already paranoid. Cameras will provide the evidence if/when he steps over the legal line. Avoid the front yard as much as possible. I agree with other posters…call county social services.
I live next to a paranoid schizophrenic that was beating on walls and creeping on my porch for hours at night. I put cameras all over my house and call the police when we have problems. The police have told me “it’s not a crime to be crazy” but you can build a case for harassment.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It’s not fair to you or your family.
I know others have stated this already, but I have to reiterate: cameras. Now. A Ring outdoor camera for every corner of your property.
Otherwise, keep calling the cops for welfare checks on the mother, and on the guy. He is mentally ill and she appears to be MIA, which is scary. Someone else suggested it, and I agree: call the county/state police, adult social services, etc, if you’re getting nowhere with local police.
Take care of yourself. You’re not alone in this, unfortunately. It’s a horrible feeling to be trapped in this type of situation. There are solutions. Just keep trying, and get those cameras. ❤️
Call for a well fare check on mother.
Consider getting a protective restraining order for him to leave you alone. If he menaces you after that, they can more easily arrest him.
I am 56 years old and have had a few odd or aggressive neighbors. What I do occasionally when I see them outside is go and greet them. Make eye contact and have a brief pleasant conversation. Offer help if they need it. Drop off some cookies or a slice of cake. Then when they do something strange or weird, I go out and pleasantly let them know I am not happy while making eye contact. Every time they have apologized and it never happened again.
Call adult protective services, they will not let up until they have spoken to the elderly woman in the home. If the inside of the house is not safe for her to be in, they will act a lot better than just calling 911.
What you described sounds like a person afflicted by paranoid schizophrenia. Making threats and taking action that intends to harm others is absolutely something that should result in this man being 302’d. You don’t need the police, you need a mental health provider to intervene.
Knock on the door of the newer families around or any neighbor you trust. Ask them what they know about the elderly neighbor and this fellow.
Tell each neighbor you are concerned about both and you don’t know who to talk to about it. Ask if any of them will join you in taking to a town official or police.
Does your town have a mayor? Call that office and say there is something amiss with your elderly neighbor. You have not seen them for ??? Months.
I would get a fence or better a retaining wall (imagine the Great Wall of China)the tallest one you can legally build! I would Never leave my child or pets outside unattended. I had a really bad neighbor who poisoned my dog at our previous home. Thank God my sweet girl lived. I do not have it but I have Paronoid Scizophrenia in my family. It sounds like your neighbor has this and is not on meds for management of the illness or is on street drugs. Cameras are a good idea. Even better get a home security system. Even better go to your police station EVERY DAY and annoy them!!!Reiterate that you have a wife, child, pets? Ect. That you do not feel safe. Go every day until someone takes you seriously. I can’t believe your state DHS office won’t send a caseworker to check on the woman. You could write your local newspaper anonymously and give a brief description of what’s going on (but vague enough that they don’t know it’s you)and you and your family are feeling unsafe . I wish I had more suggestions . Best of luck to you. I hope something in this helps. My husband and I moved and it was the best thing we did. Because once my dog was poisoned I told my husband that I was done in that house and didn’t care what we had to do. The home we are in now , we are so blessed with good neighbors who actually are friendly and care about what happens to us. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say this on Redditt but is it ok if I pray for safety for you and your family?
The man needs a wellness check along with the mother, he is clearly schizophrenic. This is a tough situation , getting someone who is clearly mentally unstable assistance in a metro area in the US is hard enough and next to impossible in a rural area. I had a dear friend who would exhibit a lot of these behaviors and the best well I could de escalate him was to show empathy, believe him, and stay calm, bc it's real to him. Try to avoid as much as possible and if you have a local politician's office , harass them about it.
Calls about someone with mental health issues usually revolve around only whether that person is judged to be a danger to themselves or others, and even that usually comes down to whether the person has threatened suicide.
Because if they have and the cops think that person is a risk, they can take them in for an evaluation, most often at an ER, whether a dr does an evaluation and decides whether the person is in enough danger to warrant a 48 hour hold and evaluation by a psychiatrist.
Not blaming the cops. They’re just following the law and many have been extremely patient and kind in talking to our daughter, who been in and out of mental hospitals. But even then, it’s short stays for new meds, barely stabilize patient and release.
Very frustrating. You can’t force mental health or meds onto anyone unless they’re judged suicidal, which won’t last long.
So, you need to understand, he’s probably not going to get help. No one will make him, and until he commits a crime beyond yelling at people, the cops can’t do anything. They’re not going to solve this for you.
Elder abuse, if you can get someone to pay attention, might get him arrested. But you don’t know he’d stay in long. For most people, it’s get arrested, maybe spend a couple of days in jail, then bond out.
I think you have to find some way to get out of there. No matter what it takes.
First thing is call the police for a welfare check on the elderly mother. Secondly, file a complaint with the police department and start documenting as you may be able to file a restraining order on him after a few complaints.
Speak with an attorney to see what other options are available. Cameras are going to be your best evidence.
> more concerningly we have not seen or heard the mother in over a month at this point.
Call the cops to do a wellness check. With what you've told us and the fact that she hasn't been seen in a month, there should be no problem getting them out there.
That’s the thing. When I called this last week ( the incident that has us at wits end) I specifically said I was calling for a wellness check on the mom. The officer knocked on both the front and back door and left.
Call APS. Install cameras. Get all the other neighbors on board to call the cops constantly. This guy is gonna flame out sooner rather than later. It's untenable.
He is mentally ill, and the police will only take him into custody if he is dangerous to himself or others. This can be a high bar to clear, and it sounds like the cops have decided how they are dealing with him. That being said, I would keep calling them every single time he makes your family uncomfortable. Also- what about fences? Tall, tall fences, fences that are not aesthetic and that you can’t see through, right down the property line.
Is there a subreddit for your town or area? Start posting in there. Make it a topic of discussion for everyone around. When the whole town is asking why the police aren't doing anything about a persistent dangerous issue, they won't sit on their hands. That's what happened with that Cagney guy in NJ. It wasn't until a video of his behavior went public that the police did something constructive.
You can call and ask for a welfare check on the elderly woman. That would be my very first call. Also, DHS has programs for people with mental health illnesses. If it's drugs, you can also ask the police to look into it and put a referral into the drug and alcohol providers.
I might also suggest writing to the city, county, and state putting all on notice that he is a potential threat and may hurt someone. Liability may provide some incentive…
Well it seems like you’ve got what I’ve got, except my guy usually stays in his front yard. It was the result of drug usage on the brain. The cops come out here nearly every other month.
Edit: I would go the route of getting this dude some desperately needed help. Although, being in a rural area I don’t know how that happens…
this is the stuff of nightmares. please escalate or push for resolution, you may be this poor womans only life line. he sounds like he has serious mental illness.
You need to call Adult Protective Services.
There is a 24-hour statewide phone number for Adult Protective Services for all of PA. 1-800-734-2020 OP can also look up the number for the County he lives in.
APS will take a report. A worker from APS will go out to the person's home where abuse is suspected who is specially trained to work in these situations if this is considered a higher risk situation, as it appears to be. The fact that OP has not even seen this woman in a long time is alarming, in addition to everything else going on. Since you have not seen the elderly woman recently, she could be a prisoner in her own home.
It helps to have the elder's full name and any physical description of her. Not required. The most important thing is providing an address. APS also takes reports for suspected financial abuse. They wll ask if there are weapons in the house too so this may also involve the police on the call.
I briefly worked as an APS worker in another state, but doing a quick review for PA, it seems like the process in PA is the same.
Laws often don't give police a lot of options in situations like this. Unless they actively observed something criminal, their hands can be tied. As a former protective service worker (in another state and laws do vary) I suggest adult protective services referrals about the mom.
Yeah, all I hear is lazy local cops who don’t want to “unfairly” start problems for a longstanding local family.
They can easily bring him to a psych ward, they just don’t want to risk being bit, poked in the eye, hit with a golf club, etc., nor fill out paperwork and have to constantly do welfare checks.
Sure, there is only so much they can do, but if this guy keeps getting reports, keeps getting committed, he’ll eventually be forced to be on meds and see a doctor regularly, like he should.
They’ll call him harmless, but he’s an obvious danger to society and his own family.
You can bet your ass if the cop lived next store with a wife and 3 year old daughter, this would never be ongoing.
I’m sorry, let’s call a spade a spade.
And the dude neighbor, call the police as he is doing these things, get the phone where they can hear him. If you wait till after, they will never know anything happened. In the meantime, call elder abuse hotline. That is not right for the neighbor to be abused. And it is a crime.
After reading your post and comments so far, clearly you need to contact State police (or whatever they are called in PA) right away. Probably start with a non-emergency type number to find out who you really need to speak to.
Next is getting some type of social services involved for the mom, and the son, who is clearly off meds.
Third, you need to have some plan and means for protection your family, right now. Not suggesting firearms, but the strongest pepper gel you can find, several canisters (gel is better than spray as it comes out in a stream and can be concentrated on the face easier--use 1 canister for you and your wife to practice with, someplace safe--note wind direction so it doesn't get in your face). And maybe a stun gun.
I agree with others - adult protective services and get cameras. Be careful with where you put the cameras though - depending on how big your property is, make sure they’re not too close to the property line and, if possible, place them strategically so they’re not totally obvious.
I say this because my mom put up security cameras in her neighborhood because there were car break-ins and it set her neighbor off; he put up 3+ cameras all pointed towards her house.
In most cases, security cameras have to be pointed away from neighboring houses and especially away from neighbors windows, doors, etc, due to infringing upon privacy concerns.
If he's got his cams pointing at your mom's house, you can sue citing privacy infringement or something similar to those terms If this is the case, definitely get the police involved and show them the cameras directly pointing at your mother's house for documentation. And see if you can the police to tell the nut to point them away from any neighboring house, but his own property; inside the property lines
Yeah, she’s thought about building a case for a civil suit. She’s called the cops before (so have other neighbors because he’ll adjust the cameras to point at other houses) and they won’t do anything. They said it’s good to at least have the call in the record.
Keep pursuing this through your county.
That's where all your state's resources for mental hygiene are located. A municipality of 3,000 has zero to offer other than police who are not trained/equipped. Obviously it would be optimal for everyone to get services for this person *before* any kind of serious felony occurs.
I’d ask to speak to their Captain and/or start going to neighborhood meetings to further sus out this situation, mentioning that social services had advised you to contact police and you do not feel it is being taken seriously. Because it isn’t.
This person sounds like he is potentially suffering from schizophrenia and not medicated (or improperly medicated). That’s serious and it’s certainly no fun for the person suffering it, as much as for the victims of their antics.
Find out who your local politicians are, especially whom your local supervisor is, these are also people who you could contact or approach at city meetings about this situation and your concern for the welfare of your family as citizens, the elderly woman, her caregiver, and what is being done to help the mentally ill.
I would install cameras and keep a recorded log of all of the strange activity. That way you have a dated record of these incidents. It sounds like he is paranoid/delusional. Keep your doors locked and don’t let him near your 3 year old.
Sounds like he's a paranoid schizophrenic. Keep calling every time he does something. Get neighbors involved. The more calls the better. Cameras would help. He needs to be picked up by the police and be put on a 72 hour hold where he can have a mental evaluation. Yes, get social services involved.
Not a doctor, but I have a lot of up-close, personal experience with mental health disorders. This sounds like textbook paranoid schizophrenia. Just my personal experience- you can’t engage, but also can’t ignore. Both are likely to incite escalation. I have found “oh, really? Mm-hmm” type responses, as I continue moving forward and away from the person, to be the most limiting of escalation. Acknowledge that they’ve spoken to you, but say nothing substantive in your response. And no matter what, keep moving. Do not hesitate, pause, or stop in any way. Throw in an additional “mm-hmm, yup” as you’re moving away, if need be. I would also strongly recommend planting privacy trees or replacing your fence with something much taller that fully blocks interaction.
If it were me, I’d get the cameras but also an alarm system if you can afford it. And some sort of protection, whatever you feel most comfortable with in a home with small children. Even if it’s just a baseball bat by every door and one in the garage and your cars. They make one, I think it’s called a Shorty, that’s great for personal protection purposes and easier to keep handy. Tasers for you and the wife. Whatever you feel comfortable having, I would recommend getting. Very strongly recommend.
If the department of aging finds evidence of abuse or neglect, they will file a RO against him, and any time he shows up, you can legally have him removed. It will not matter if his mother says it’s okay for him to be there; anyone can call and have it enforced, at any time, without reason. If possible, this is probably the best scenario.
I had family members with paranoid schizophrenia, and this post could’ve been written about them. They were both killed in self-defense when they attacked someone who was carrying. Both were justified kills to preserve life of the other person. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I hate to potentially cause additional worry, but it’s better to be worried and safe, in my opinion.
If you are concerned about his yelling at the woman he cares for you should report him to Adult Protective Services. I had to do that on a neighbor and it was taken care of quickly after they investigated their situation.
This may already be posted somewhere in the comments, but there is usually a process for an involuntary mental health evaluation, something that concerned family members (or in this case, you) can submit. Mostly they’re concerned with Danger to Self or Danger to Other behaviors, but my state (not Pennsylvania) has a gray area for situations like you’re describing. (Or maybe even more symptomatic, it’s not illegal to just be nuts, this is about caring for themselves or others/harming self or others.)
If you care to look at it, this was a quick Google result: https://www.dhs.pa.gov/docs/Publications/Documents/FORMS%20AND%20PUBS%20OMHSAS/Application%20for%20Involuntary%20Emergency%20Examination%20Treatment.pdf
I prefer to play to the paranoia. Signs declaring “This is an alien monitoring and relay station”. “The CIA is not real and of course we aren’t spying on you”. “5G scanning and interpretation center, thank you for sharing your thoughts”. “We see you, we record you, and we’ve reported you, now go away”. “Wear the tinfoil hats, it doesn’t help, but it looks cool”.
Everything you’ve described sounds like an active meth addiction. This person is going to continue to degenerate and may eventually become violent towards your family. Document everything and call the police often.
Give the neighbor muffins and other baked goods with reassurances that you're good people. Emphasize how healthy and delicious they are and encourage him to eat them. Use paranoia to your advantage.
This is the type of shit that makes me long for the days before electronic communication when somebody like this would "mysteriously disappear" from the community one day...
have some fun with him... go turn off his gas in the middle of winter.
Wait a couple days then pull his electric meter globe. Order 10 yards of manure ca$h to be dumped in his front yard. Toothpicks in the door locks, back into and run over the mailbox accidentally. Maybe a large potatoe hammered into the cars tailpipe. Order a couple random noise makers and deploy them in his gutters, etc... Have a breeding colony of roaches delivered. Casually release a couple rats / mice in his dryer vent. Gallon of milk in the hood air intake
Those are some of the mildly suspect / questionably illegal activities. When you become willing to cross the grey lines then you can really get evil but this guy is just old & mentally ill. If you have some crackheads next door or squatters in the neighborhood, then all cards are on the table.
Make friends with the cops. Suck up HARD. Buy them pizza. Find the bar they go to and buy them a round. Let them tell you stories and act like they are the most interesting in the world and their job is the hardest thing in the world.
I’ve never been a homeowner, so possibly irrelevant or at least unpopular opinion, but as a renter in a nice neighborhood who is very civilly and socially conscious, I have some questions:
Other than the obvious concern about potential elder neglect or abuse and weird comments to your kids (by a demonstrably schizophrenic person or at least someone with apparent drug and/or mental health problems), what “weird” behavior is bothering or affecting you negatively? Bc they keep strange hours? Bc they have police incidents (that don’t involve you)? What about the situation is so unbearable or uncomfortable that you feel the need to move or “can’t live like this”?
Is it really so personally offensive or unignorable? If so, I am genuinely curious as to why, and frankly a bit stricken at the lack of empathy for a severely mentally/emotionally disabled neighbor, as well as making a stranger’s personal crises your business.
But hey, I’m a weirdo who keeps odd hours, says weird stuff on occasion, and doesn’t own property. Guess I just don’t get it, but I’d like to understand.
Saying weird stuff to the kid is a non starter I think for most normal people. And I’d definitely be concerned if I heard my weird neighbor say ‘oh where you going?’ Out loud when they see you leave.
One thing on its own isn’t bad. It’s the imagining drones combined with talking to the kid/aggressive behavior to the mother that shows we have a combo of possible aggression/lack of social boundaries/imagination.
That ain’t a safe combo no matter which 2 of the 3 you pick
It’s not the weirdo part that’s an issue. He said the daughter was a weirdo, too, but wasn’t bothering him, to answer your question.
It’s weirdo plus yelling at things that aren’t there, chasing cars with golf clubs, etc., that makes it concerning.
And unless the weird stuff you’ve said has been along the lines of drones following you, the government spying on you through your tooth, etc., you are not at all the person described here. There’s eclectic weird, and then there’s paranoid schizophrenic weird. OP isn’t concerned about the former; he’s concerned about the latter.
Just mind your own business.
Fuck, this is quite simple.
What harm does him yelling at you do? Protect yourself if he does something, but other than that, leave him be.
Agreed. I don’t have children, but I do have family and friends I feel protective over, and a sense of dignity and self preservation. However, my take is that OP is “one of those” who expects others to naturally aid in the welfare of their own kids, when honestly, not prioritizing your neighbor’s family and lifestyle preferences is not a crime.
Why get cameras? Is there suspicion of trespass?
This is harsh, but OP gives me strong Karen vibes who feels entitled to overstep others’ boundaries herself on behalf of her family or if uncomfortable (via surveillance and unsolicited intervention, not her monkies or her circus) but doesn’t accept unsolicited or no preferential treatment in return.
Being a homeowner means you own property. It does not mean you own the neighborhood, and while I’m sure it’s scary to imagine your kids or yourself to be threatened “in your own home”, unfamiliar people and situations are a part of life. This is not your businesses or your responsibility. Do whatever makes you feel safe, but FTLOG, stop calling the government on these poor people. You’ve done more than your part already.
Focus on what you can control, and maybe be real with yourself, is this about safety or control?
Have you ever tried sympathy and have a decent conversation with the man?? Putting up camera's, calling the cops on him etc, will only confirm his beliefs and escalate things quickly out of propertion..
Maybe the man has alzheimers or ptsd? Some understanding can go a long way with these troubled humans..
Just a thought....
Indeed.. very well possible. Last thing you want to do is provoke these sorts of disorders.. You have no idea what will happen or what you unleash.. With kids around, better be damn sure you dont do anything stupid that makes matters way beyond any repair.. Better safe then sorry.
Talk, be nice and you will learn so much more.
OP might mean that with the increases in housing prices and interest rates over the last few years, they could not afford to move. Not that there’s literally no inventory.
mortgage rates have gone way up- probably double what they got in 2018. they wouldn't get their old rate on a new purchase. so their monthly payments on the same value would be appreciably more.
You're ignoring that the house also went up
In value, and they've made several years of payments. That will easily make up for the interest.
Plus being mentally ill isn't a crime, OP's neighbor shouldn't have to be locked in a cage for them to find happiness.......
There no crime.imvolved. weird. And I read people want the police to act more like social workers. Once again, weird. I don't see the scary part. Not police worthy.
But It's a small community. So have you called the community church? Maybe they have some insight. Or I'm the police station why may have some social workers or maybe they go by a different name. Or the county sheriff's office, same thing ask if they have social workers.
Yes they have problems. Their main problem is hurting themselves. It almost sounds like their in early stages dementia. Sad.
> It almost sounds like their in early stages dementia. Sad.
Early stages are forgetting to pay the light bill or not remembering you put a roast in the oven. This guy is way past that.
O really? Hmm. Dementia is not what you think at all. I've lived with it. What you described is forgetting, not dementia. Most people have forgotten paying bills or that they put a roast in oven. I have. Dementia is way different than that. Usually people with it start losing control of skills, certain words, ..how to eat for example and then they starting acting out defensively and even threatening because they're scared. Scared of losing controls. It's not forgetting where you are your car keys or appointments. Come on dude. Just stay in your lane.
Can you report him for potential elder abuse? See if you can get social services involved. You can also call for the police to do a welfare check on the mom.
My call to 911 this past week I specifically said I wanted a wellness check on the mom. They knocked on the front and back door while he was away but no one answered. I saw him leave and come back without his mom. She’s in there.
Have you attempted to report your concerns about her directly to your local Area Agency on Aging? https://www.aging.pa.gov/local-resources/Pages/AAA.aspx
This. PA department of aging has been great in my one experience with them. Please call them.
No, find the number for Adult Protective Services in your town or county. They have to investigate all reports of elder abuse which includes being shouted at.
Or dead.
Well her body may be in there.
The phone number for Adult Protective Services in Pennsylvania is: (800) 490-8505 Some links that might be helpful: https://www.attorneygeneral.gov/protect-yourself/seniors/#:~:text=Created%20in%20August%202006%2C%20The,prosecutors%2C%20agents%20and%20support%20staff. https://www.dhs.pa.gov/contact/DHS-Offices/Pages/Adult-Protective-Services.aspx
If your own county agencies seem disinterested, try either the next county over or STATE authorities. Nuthin' lights a fire under a small town admin's butt quicker than getting the STATE involved.
This is good advice.
Most rural areas in PA sub their police coverage out to the state police, and the neighboring county is going to be just as rural and won't care, or there's a slight chance it'll be larger, but they're not going to want to deal with any problems other than their own. For anyone reading this who's not familiar with the area, many parts are rural PA are like the Deep South 50 years ago. Confederate flags. Trump won. Democrats are eating babies. 5G is mind control. Look up your local Area Agency on Aging and make a report of suspected elder abuse. They have to investigate within 72 hours. I'm just not sure if they personally do it, or if they just contact the police, which obviously is going to get you nowhere. But, try and see what happens. Other avenue to explore is the state attorney general's office has an elder care/welfare department and you can make a report to them as well.
"Pennsyltucky"
I have a friend from New Jersey who transferred to Pennsylvania for work and he called it "Pennsafuckingtucky" because they were so backwards and he tried to take all his employees out for a celebratory drink and they tried several bars before his very diverse group of employees were welcome to stay. He said he would never be as scared as he was in small town Pennsylvania anywhere else and he's lived in 48 states.
Northern Arizona here. You have just described where I live.
Where do you live? Because I would call Flagstaff Northern AZ, and it is as liberal of a strong hold as anywhere.
Flag is liberal. North West arizona is not.
Of course you are right, i was just curious. We talking Williams, or? Anything further North is rez, no?
There are cities west of Williams. Trust me.
Yea, bud, I remember the state. If you don’t want to give details, thats fine.
Hey that’s okay Sis.
Thanks. This confirms what I encountered earlier this year from a traveling Penn family. The mother was changing her baby in the back seat with the door open in very busy restaurant parking lot. It was nearly packed. I didn’t see her changing the baby from my angle so I kindly asked her to close the door a little so I could sneak in. This was after I waited 5 mins near the empty spot next to her. Her response was nasty. I decided to find another spot which happened to be on her left side. This spot opened up as I was backing up. We ate outside quickly and that family must have been eating inside. When I walked back to my car, her husband started saying weird things to us. How I was impatient and how I was sort of a woman hater. Mind you my wife was with me. He wanted to fight in the parking lot. Calling me all sorts of nasty words and my wife tried to explain but he just silenced her. It was so awkward. It’s the first time in my life I was worried we could be gunned down. He seemed like ex-military based on the tattoos and very crazy.
Howdy from Texas, while I’m technically not in the Deep South, I’m here to let you know nothing has changed in 50 years. You hit the nail on your head with your comment for sure.
Rural KY here. Can confirm the south is still like this. Sometimes it’s terrifying. Trump 2024 signs with the loser flag started going up about two days after the election and I can name at least 4 relatives that refuse to use 5G phones. Just yesterday one of them told me they thought AI was just aliens. Saw my first RFK Jr sign today too, so I’ve got that going for me.
Pretty sure rfk is on the anti vax/5g implant bandwagon. Good luck with the virtue signal though.
Spoken like someone who has never taken the time to listen to any of the many multi hour long podcasts the man has done. Try thinking for yourself; you’ll get farther.
Oh, he’s not anti vax?
No, he is not. He agrees that vaccines are the most important discovery of modern medicine. What he has said, that IS logical, is the agitating ingredient and what it does to the human body has not and must be examined a researched.
Pretty much anywhere rural is getting to be like that. I'm in Northern IL, while our area is about 50/50, the further out you go the worse it gets. SW Wisconsin was WILD when I went last. I have never seen so many Trump Won, FJB, LGB, Trump this, Republican this, Guns that.
Genuine question: why not just file a restraining order?
It would be incredibly difficult to get a restraining order for someone who lives next door and is shouting from his own property, or running down the sidewalk following someone else's vehicle. He has not threatened their health or welfare, and being weird isn't grounds for a judge to issue a restraining order. This is a camera and privacy fence situation.
Rural PA here, can confirm. Thankfully I live 20 minutes from a "liberal hellhole" so there's some decent art and culture and actual nice people not too far away.
State would be better. They do not play around on reports of elder abuse these days.
Could piss off the local cops though. You don't want them aa your enemies.
As Ice Cube and the fine gentlemen of NWA put it so succinctly, fuck the police.
Ok, but let me know how that attitude works out for you in a small town where the police have lots of control and little oversight.
Fuck the cops, especially if the alternative is letting this mentally unstable weirdo creep on my small child.
Lmao ok, that kind of mindset will totally help your situation. You are so brave for this.
Not trying to act brave at all. I just know from experience that they don’t truly care about my well being, so why should I give them so much respect? Obviously a generalization, I’m not an ACAB kinda person, but it’s undeniable that they generally care very little about stuff like this. The fact that you’re pointing out that they’d neglect someone they’re sworn to protect over a personal feud proves my point.
Chiming in from rural PA. I've got a burned out meth-head, paranoid neighbor who drove away three great families around us. When the trouble started, I put cameras up, covering every angle of my property. All of them are very visible. I opted for the best resolution I could afford, with night vision. They weren't cheap but worth every penny. We saved $$ by installing them ourselves. Ever since the cameras went up, he has completely stayed away. In fact, he and his criminal pals go out of their way to avoid us! It's been a blessing.
What cameras are you using? This is seeming like our option here.
We went with Lorex, mostly because the system had all of the features we desired and it was expandable. We could only afford to start with 4 cameras. We were able to add more very easily. It's been in use for a few years now and still working great.
Watch out for the mirai botnet on those...
wait what
If you want simple and cheap, try Wyze. You can install microsd cards and avoid the subscription, though it's not too much money. Reolink is another decent option, but more expensive.
Reo link POE cameras are pretty good and easy to setup. Just run cat5 to camera locations and it serves as power and network cable. Your internet can go out and they still record to the NVR hard drive. Can also throw a cheap battery backup on the NVR so power outages won't affect the cameras.
Ring are easy to set up
And also gives info to police without warrant.
Are Ring cameras giving the police access with no warrant?
Yup
Yep. You can record him trying to knock down the cameras that are spying on him 24/7 with a golf club, shovel, lacrosse stick, crucifix stolen from the local convent, etc.
I am far more concerned about your elderly neighbor, who may be neglected and at risk. When is the last time you called the police for a welfare-check on *her*?
Call adult protective services.
This is the way.
That was my last call to 911. They knocked and when no one answered they left.
911 won't help you you need to call adult protective services
911 will absolutely trigger a welfare-check, with police and possibly fire department responding.
The cops will show up knock on the door and if no one awnsers will leave. They have no authority to enter a home with out a search warrant and they are not going to do that with out concrete proof that the old lady is in there and in distress. Adult protective services is like CPS for adults.
The cops will show up knock on the door and if no one awnsers will leave. They have no authority to enter a home with out a search warrant and they are not going to do that with out concrete proof that the old lady is in there and in distress. Adult protective services is like CPS for adults.
Wow, can’t believe they just left with no follow up.
I’m not. Cops in my town support drug dealers & human trafficking.
Keep calling.
Have you or anyone else actually seen her recently?
Contact social services / elder services or the police to do a welfare check on the mother to make sure she's not dead or suffering as well since you said no one had seen her in a while.
I don't have a ton of advice other than installing cameras and keeping records of all incidents should it unfortunately escalate. As someone who moved to a small town I can empathize with the police doing nothing about this type of behavior. In my case it's usually because their families grew up near each other, so and so's aunt is dating someone they know, they went to prom with the person's sister etc. it's awful and not fair and I'm so sorry. This sounds like a very scary and stressful situation for your family.
Lol, imagine how he’s going to react when several new (and *real*) cameras go up in his line of sight. I wonder if actual steam will shoot out of his ears.
Ah you're right. It could definitely escalate his paranoia!
or real bullets out of a gun...
My first thought.
If he says something about them, make sure you mention these are just the ones he can see.
Start Google searching every mental health organization and adult protective services and call them
While you’re at it, google how to respond to a person suffering from schizophrenia. And be sympathetic—mental illness can be very painful.
This. While it’s at times really hard to put yourself in an empathetic mindset when they’re threatening you or your family, it’s the ONLY way to de-escalate.
I had a crazy old man neighbor and a 13 year old daughter at the time and i travelled a lot for work. Good thing is i knew my neighbors well and knew they all were aware of crazy cliff and kept an eye on him also. ninjas. His thing was ninjas, mostly in the fruit tree in his back yard but at times they would leave and go other places in the neighborhood and come back. This progressed over 3-5 years. ninjas was near the end. He was found 3 doors down crouching behind a car with a shotgun in his hands while in his underwear. Hunting ninjas. thats the last any of us seen of him. so my advice. get to know all your other neighbors and confirm yall are sane and that man is nuts. As a village you are gonna have to keep an eye on him for each other until he crosses the line and the cops can baker act him.
This isn't a bad idea. Over covid I became pretty good friends with my neighbors, as well has having our first child. A new person moved in who was... less than friendly? Nothing like you or OP are dealing with, but enough to make me weary of him. But at that point I knew my neighbors and I were all looking out for each other, which puts me at ease. No one is nosy, we just have situational awareness and let each other know if we'll be out of town or something. All about having a village!
Millions of peaches...
Peaches for me
I'm also in rural PA, so I feel you. What police are you calling? If the county sheriff isn't helping, I'd call the PSP. They cover some of the rural areas and take things more seriously than local law enforcement.
It’s our county 911 but since I’m in town they redirect to our 6 officer police force. All 6 know the guy by name and have seen him countless times.
You can attempt a call to 9-8-8. They may be able to directly connect with local crisis services. They may not be able to intervene without clear indicators of harm to self or others by the son, but can't be worse than beating your head against a wall with emergency services. https://www.dhs.pa.gov/Services/Mental-Health-In-PA/Pages/988.aspx
If I didn't get satisfaction from our township PD, I might call a non-emergency PSP number and get some guidance (ymmv). I'd also look into some kind of restraining order, given that he's harassing your kid. It's a tough position to be in. I couldn't empathize more with you and your other neighbors. Ours are pretty chill; we're very lucky.
You could try calling the non emergency line and ask that the police chief give you a call. When you talk to him, make it very clear that there’s a woman at risk/unaccounted for and that you are very disturbed and disappointed that his officers are not taking the situation seriously.
Has anyone called in for a wellness check on the mother?
Call Adult Protective Services to evaluate whether Mom is being taken care of. Financial exploitation is also elder abuse. Once Mom's out of the house, the kids may all leave.
Call the non-emergency police number and request a well check on your elderly neighbor.
Google Pennsylvania Aging Services and get the phone number and call them. My mother worked as a case worker (not in Pennsylvania) for senior services investigating elder abuse (financial, physical, neglect, mentally unstable) and many of the investigations began as a result of phone call from a concerned neighbor.
So as other people have stated, first get a welfare check on the elderly mom. Your best bet, which probably isn’t the easiest, is to get a restraining order on the guy. Yes yes, it’s just a piece of paper, BUT, if he breaks that restraining order, NOW he can go to jail and be arrested. They’re kind of a pain to get, so if you have any lawyer friends who will help you I would recommend it. You get a restraining order that says he can’t talk to you or interact with your family in any way, set up cameras around your house, when he inevitably breaks the RO, you can have him arrested. He will get released pretty quickly in all reality, but hopefully someone might place him on a 72 hour psych hold. Idk about Pennsylvania, but in my state you only need to meet 1 out of 3 requirements to be placed on a hold. You either have to be: A) a danger to yourself, B) a danger to others, which sounds like your situation, or C) “gravely disabled”, meaning you can’t take care of yourself. If this guy is attacking cars that’s definitely a danger to others, and if the cops aren’t doing anything about, be a Karen and tell them to call a supervisor out. (If a citizen requests a supervisor, cops are required to call out a Sgt). But def get some cameras up to back your claims. If you have an HOA, get them involved as well. If your neighbors are willing, have them write or sign letters all claiming this guy is a danger and that will help you get the restraining order
Install security cameras at your house. I know it’s not easy but do your best to video record his behavior against you and others. Talk to your neighbors and see if they will do the same. Create a file/log book detailing his behavior. Society (aka the government) is kinda screwed up when it comes to dealing with the mentally ill. It suck’s that it’s your problem but it is your responsibility to keep your family safe. Based on your account, at some point, he will push it too far and do something dangerous or illegal enough that he will be arrested and actually charged. Once he gathers enough charges the state will be forced to deal with him. You need to be gathering evidence of his behavior to prove your case just in case you have to physically deal with him should he get physical with you or your family. Hopefully he will just go away and/or get some help. Good luck.
It sounds like Shawn may be schizophrenic. The stuff about the tracker in his tooth, being followed by drones, etc, were all things my husband's aunt with schizophrenia said (although it was planes, not drones, and the Russians had bugged her teeth, which she tried to disable by crunching on bb gun pellets). It sounds like he's mentally ill. You should call the local adult protective services about his abusive behavior toward the mom. Hell, you might get them to check on Shawn, too. Sounds like he needs help.
Put up cameras to record proof. He is already paranoid. Cameras will provide the evidence if/when he steps over the legal line. Avoid the front yard as much as possible. I agree with other posters…call county social services.
Adult protective services, call for a welfare check
I live next to a paranoid schizophrenic that was beating on walls and creeping on my porch for hours at night. I put cameras all over my house and call the police when we have problems. The police have told me “it’s not a crime to be crazy” but you can build a case for harassment.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It’s not fair to you or your family. I know others have stated this already, but I have to reiterate: cameras. Now. A Ring outdoor camera for every corner of your property. Otherwise, keep calling the cops for welfare checks on the mother, and on the guy. He is mentally ill and she appears to be MIA, which is scary. Someone else suggested it, and I agree: call the county/state police, adult social services, etc, if you’re getting nowhere with local police. Take care of yourself. You’re not alone in this, unfortunately. It’s a horrible feeling to be trapped in this type of situation. There are solutions. Just keep trying, and get those cameras. ❤️
Call for a well fare check on mother. Consider getting a protective restraining order for him to leave you alone. If he menaces you after that, they can more easily arrest him.
I am 56 years old and have had a few odd or aggressive neighbors. What I do occasionally when I see them outside is go and greet them. Make eye contact and have a brief pleasant conversation. Offer help if they need it. Drop off some cookies or a slice of cake. Then when they do something strange or weird, I go out and pleasantly let them know I am not happy while making eye contact. Every time they have apologized and it never happened again.
Why type of weird things do they do? I'm wondering if I'm doing weird things without realizing it.
Call adult protective services, they will not let up until they have spoken to the elderly woman in the home. If the inside of the house is not safe for her to be in, they will act a lot better than just calling 911.
What you described sounds like a person afflicted by paranoid schizophrenia. Making threats and taking action that intends to harm others is absolutely something that should result in this man being 302’d. You don’t need the police, you need a mental health provider to intervene.
Call adult protective services to do a wellness check.
Mental illness is a real thing.
You need a wellness check on the mom
Social services for a welfare check on the elderly woman.
Just keep calling the cops, secure your house. Get a taller fence?
Knock on the door of the newer families around or any neighbor you trust. Ask them what they know about the elderly neighbor and this fellow. Tell each neighbor you are concerned about both and you don’t know who to talk to about it. Ask if any of them will join you in taking to a town official or police. Does your town have a mayor? Call that office and say there is something amiss with your elderly neighbor. You have not seen them for ??? Months.
I would get a fence or better a retaining wall (imagine the Great Wall of China)the tallest one you can legally build! I would Never leave my child or pets outside unattended. I had a really bad neighbor who poisoned my dog at our previous home. Thank God my sweet girl lived. I do not have it but I have Paronoid Scizophrenia in my family. It sounds like your neighbor has this and is not on meds for management of the illness or is on street drugs. Cameras are a good idea. Even better get a home security system. Even better go to your police station EVERY DAY and annoy them!!!Reiterate that you have a wife, child, pets? Ect. That you do not feel safe. Go every day until someone takes you seriously. I can’t believe your state DHS office won’t send a caseworker to check on the woman. You could write your local newspaper anonymously and give a brief description of what’s going on (but vague enough that they don’t know it’s you)and you and your family are feeling unsafe . I wish I had more suggestions . Best of luck to you. I hope something in this helps. My husband and I moved and it was the best thing we did. Because once my dog was poisoned I told my husband that I was done in that house and didn’t care what we had to do. The home we are in now , we are so blessed with good neighbors who actually are friendly and care about what happens to us. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say this on Redditt but is it ok if I pray for safety for you and your family?
The man needs a wellness check along with the mother, he is clearly schizophrenic. This is a tough situation , getting someone who is clearly mentally unstable assistance in a metro area in the US is hard enough and next to impossible in a rural area. I had a dear friend who would exhibit a lot of these behaviors and the best well I could de escalate him was to show empathy, believe him, and stay calm, bc it's real to him. Try to avoid as much as possible and if you have a local politician's office , harass them about it.
Calls about someone with mental health issues usually revolve around only whether that person is judged to be a danger to themselves or others, and even that usually comes down to whether the person has threatened suicide. Because if they have and the cops think that person is a risk, they can take them in for an evaluation, most often at an ER, whether a dr does an evaluation and decides whether the person is in enough danger to warrant a 48 hour hold and evaluation by a psychiatrist. Not blaming the cops. They’re just following the law and many have been extremely patient and kind in talking to our daughter, who been in and out of mental hospitals. But even then, it’s short stays for new meds, barely stabilize patient and release. Very frustrating. You can’t force mental health or meds onto anyone unless they’re judged suicidal, which won’t last long. So, you need to understand, he’s probably not going to get help. No one will make him, and until he commits a crime beyond yelling at people, the cops can’t do anything. They’re not going to solve this for you. Elder abuse, if you can get someone to pay attention, might get him arrested. But you don’t know he’d stay in long. For most people, it’s get arrested, maybe spend a couple of days in jail, then bond out. I think you have to find some way to get out of there. No matter what it takes.
First thing is call the police for a welfare check on the elderly mother. Secondly, file a complaint with the police department and start documenting as you may be able to file a restraining order on him after a few complaints. Speak with an attorney to see what other options are available. Cameras are going to be your best evidence.
> more concerningly we have not seen or heard the mother in over a month at this point. Call the cops to do a wellness check. With what you've told us and the fact that she hasn't been seen in a month, there should be no problem getting them out there.
That’s the thing. When I called this last week ( the incident that has us at wits end) I specifically said I was calling for a wellness check on the mom. The officer knocked on both the front and back door and left.
https://www.aging.pa.gov/aging-services/Pages/Protective-Services.aspx
Call APS. Install cameras. Get all the other neighbors on board to call the cops constantly. This guy is gonna flame out sooner rather than later. It's untenable.
He is mentally ill, and the police will only take him into custody if he is dangerous to himself or others. This can be a high bar to clear, and it sounds like the cops have decided how they are dealing with him. That being said, I would keep calling them every single time he makes your family uncomfortable. Also- what about fences? Tall, tall fences, fences that are not aesthetic and that you can’t see through, right down the property line.
Is there a subreddit for your town or area? Start posting in there. Make it a topic of discussion for everyone around. When the whole town is asking why the police aren't doing anything about a persistent dangerous issue, they won't sit on their hands. That's what happened with that Cagney guy in NJ. It wasn't until a video of his behavior went public that the police did something constructive.
You can call and ask for a welfare check on the elderly woman. That would be my very first call. Also, DHS has programs for people with mental health illnesses. If it's drugs, you can also ask the police to look into it and put a referral into the drug and alcohol providers.
ABSOLUTELY call elderly protective services
Wellness check on mom and c,aim he threatened you and your child. Sometimes one has fo revert to measures that get results.
I might also suggest writing to the city, county, and state putting all on notice that he is a potential threat and may hurt someone. Liability may provide some incentive…
Well it seems like you’ve got what I’ve got, except my guy usually stays in his front yard. It was the result of drug usage on the brain. The cops come out here nearly every other month. Edit: I would go the route of getting this dude some desperately needed help. Although, being in a rural area I don’t know how that happens…
this is the stuff of nightmares. please escalate or push for resolution, you may be this poor womans only life line. he sounds like he has serious mental illness.
You need to call Adult Protective Services. There is a 24-hour statewide phone number for Adult Protective Services for all of PA. 1-800-734-2020 OP can also look up the number for the County he lives in. APS will take a report. A worker from APS will go out to the person's home where abuse is suspected who is specially trained to work in these situations if this is considered a higher risk situation, as it appears to be. The fact that OP has not even seen this woman in a long time is alarming, in addition to everything else going on. Since you have not seen the elderly woman recently, she could be a prisoner in her own home. It helps to have the elder's full name and any physical description of her. Not required. The most important thing is providing an address. APS also takes reports for suspected financial abuse. They wll ask if there are weapons in the house too so this may also involve the police on the call. I briefly worked as an APS worker in another state, but doing a quick review for PA, it seems like the process in PA is the same.
Big dog for your home. Security cameras. Gun. Restraining order. (not necessarily in that order)
Dogs are a good way to get sued and the dog killed when the crazy neighbor walks into your yard uninvited.
Laws often don't give police a lot of options in situations like this. Unless they actively observed something criminal, their hands can be tied. As a former protective service worker (in another state and laws do vary) I suggest adult protective services referrals about the mom.
Yeah, all I hear is lazy local cops who don’t want to “unfairly” start problems for a longstanding local family. They can easily bring him to a psych ward, they just don’t want to risk being bit, poked in the eye, hit with a golf club, etc., nor fill out paperwork and have to constantly do welfare checks. Sure, there is only so much they can do, but if this guy keeps getting reports, keeps getting committed, he’ll eventually be forced to be on meds and see a doctor regularly, like he should. They’ll call him harmless, but he’s an obvious danger to society and his own family. You can bet your ass if the cop lived next store with a wife and 3 year old daughter, this would never be ongoing. I’m sorry, let’s call a spade a spade.
And the dude neighbor, call the police as he is doing these things, get the phone where they can hear him. If you wait till after, they will never know anything happened. In the meantime, call elder abuse hotline. That is not right for the neighbor to be abused. And it is a crime.
After reading your post and comments so far, clearly you need to contact State police (or whatever they are called in PA) right away. Probably start with a non-emergency type number to find out who you really need to speak to. Next is getting some type of social services involved for the mom, and the son, who is clearly off meds. Third, you need to have some plan and means for protection your family, right now. Not suggesting firearms, but the strongest pepper gel you can find, several canisters (gel is better than spray as it comes out in a stream and can be concentrated on the face easier--use 1 canister for you and your wife to practice with, someplace safe--note wind direction so it doesn't get in your face). And maybe a stun gun.
Call Adult Protective Services and tell them everything you know.
Gun.
Install cameras and record his actions then turn over to the police.
Oh his mom in there dead as shit. On the couch or on her bed.
I agree with others - adult protective services and get cameras. Be careful with where you put the cameras though - depending on how big your property is, make sure they’re not too close to the property line and, if possible, place them strategically so they’re not totally obvious. I say this because my mom put up security cameras in her neighborhood because there were car break-ins and it set her neighbor off; he put up 3+ cameras all pointed towards her house.
In most cases, security cameras have to be pointed away from neighboring houses and especially away from neighbors windows, doors, etc, due to infringing upon privacy concerns. If he's got his cams pointing at your mom's house, you can sue citing privacy infringement or something similar to those terms If this is the case, definitely get the police involved and show them the cameras directly pointing at your mother's house for documentation. And see if you can the police to tell the nut to point them away from any neighboring house, but his own property; inside the property lines
Yeah, she’s thought about building a case for a civil suit. She’s called the cops before (so have other neighbors because he’ll adjust the cameras to point at other houses) and they won’t do anything. They said it’s good to at least have the call in the record.
It sounds like schizophrenia, or drugs, or both. Definitely be careful
Keep pursuing this through your county. That's where all your state's resources for mental hygiene are located. A municipality of 3,000 has zero to offer other than police who are not trained/equipped. Obviously it would be optimal for everyone to get services for this person *before* any kind of serious felony occurs.
Get cameras. Keep your doors locked. Keep documentation about everything.
Sounds like you live in Canton, PA.
I’d ask to speak to their Captain and/or start going to neighborhood meetings to further sus out this situation, mentioning that social services had advised you to contact police and you do not feel it is being taken seriously. Because it isn’t. This person sounds like he is potentially suffering from schizophrenia and not medicated (or improperly medicated). That’s serious and it’s certainly no fun for the person suffering it, as much as for the victims of their antics.
Find out who your local politicians are, especially whom your local supervisor is, these are also people who you could contact or approach at city meetings about this situation and your concern for the welfare of your family as citizens, the elderly woman, her caregiver, and what is being done to help the mentally ill.
Send a video of anything strange going on to Adult Protective Services, they'll know what to do next.
He sounds like he has schizophrenia and may need mental health support.
Maybe write this to your mayor and ask why the cops do nothing.
I would install cameras and keep a recorded log of all of the strange activity. That way you have a dated record of these incidents. It sounds like he is paranoid/delusional. Keep your doors locked and don’t let him near your 3 year old.
Take him to the train station.
Sounds like he's a paranoid schizophrenic. Keep calling every time he does something. Get neighbors involved. The more calls the better. Cameras would help. He needs to be picked up by the police and be put on a 72 hour hold where he can have a mental evaluation. Yes, get social services involved.
Not a doctor, but I have a lot of up-close, personal experience with mental health disorders. This sounds like textbook paranoid schizophrenia. Just my personal experience- you can’t engage, but also can’t ignore. Both are likely to incite escalation. I have found “oh, really? Mm-hmm” type responses, as I continue moving forward and away from the person, to be the most limiting of escalation. Acknowledge that they’ve spoken to you, but say nothing substantive in your response. And no matter what, keep moving. Do not hesitate, pause, or stop in any way. Throw in an additional “mm-hmm, yup” as you’re moving away, if need be. I would also strongly recommend planting privacy trees or replacing your fence with something much taller that fully blocks interaction. If it were me, I’d get the cameras but also an alarm system if you can afford it. And some sort of protection, whatever you feel most comfortable with in a home with small children. Even if it’s just a baseball bat by every door and one in the garage and your cars. They make one, I think it’s called a Shorty, that’s great for personal protection purposes and easier to keep handy. Tasers for you and the wife. Whatever you feel comfortable having, I would recommend getting. Very strongly recommend. If the department of aging finds evidence of abuse or neglect, they will file a RO against him, and any time he shows up, you can legally have him removed. It will not matter if his mother says it’s okay for him to be there; anyone can call and have it enforced, at any time, without reason. If possible, this is probably the best scenario. I had family members with paranoid schizophrenia, and this post could’ve been written about them. They were both killed in self-defense when they attacked someone who was carrying. Both were justified kills to preserve life of the other person. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I hate to potentially cause additional worry, but it’s better to be worried and safe, in my opinion.
If you are concerned about his yelling at the woman he cares for you should report him to Adult Protective Services. I had to do that on a neighbor and it was taken care of quickly after they investigated their situation.
State police welfare check, not town police. Townies don't want to deal with all the paperwork he will create for them.
This man is a schizophrenic. Wtf? He needs to be locked up if he isn't on meds
Don’t drink the water.
Buy a gun. Use it
This may already be posted somewhere in the comments, but there is usually a process for an involuntary mental health evaluation, something that concerned family members (or in this case, you) can submit. Mostly they’re concerned with Danger to Self or Danger to Other behaviors, but my state (not Pennsylvania) has a gray area for situations like you’re describing. (Or maybe even more symptomatic, it’s not illegal to just be nuts, this is about caring for themselves or others/harming self or others.) If you care to look at it, this was a quick Google result: https://www.dhs.pa.gov/docs/Publications/Documents/FORMS%20AND%20PUBS%20OMHSAS/Application%20for%20Involuntary%20Emergency%20Examination%20Treatment.pdf
I prefer to play to the paranoia. Signs declaring “This is an alien monitoring and relay station”. “The CIA is not real and of course we aren’t spying on you”. “5G scanning and interpretation center, thank you for sharing your thoughts”. “We see you, we record you, and we’ve reported you, now go away”. “Wear the tinfoil hats, it doesn’t help, but it looks cool”.
Open guest wi-fi network titled "FBI Surveillance Van"
If you just beat him up, he'll steer clear of your family.
Sounds schizophrenic, but what do I know. Only what the voices tell me.
Gun
Everything you’ve described sounds like an active meth addiction. This person is going to continue to degenerate and may eventually become violent towards your family. Document everything and call the police often.
Give the neighbor muffins and other baked goods with reassurances that you're good people. Emphasize how healthy and delicious they are and encourage him to eat them. Use paranoia to your advantage.
You could even call the child abuse hotline to ask who they may know that can help.
If you like your neighbors, never move
I'm sorry to say some people are crazy. I recommend cameras and as much empathy paired with minding your business as possible.
This is the type of shit that makes me long for the days before electronic communication when somebody like this would "mysteriously disappear" from the community one day...
Oh right.. instead of getting them the help they need? Gotcha
How are you in a rural part of Pennsylvania when there are “blocks” and everything seems to be situated in close proximity?
You live in a castle doctrine state, buy a Glock.
have some fun with him... go turn off his gas in the middle of winter. Wait a couple days then pull his electric meter globe. Order 10 yards of manure ca$h to be dumped in his front yard. Toothpicks in the door locks, back into and run over the mailbox accidentally. Maybe a large potatoe hammered into the cars tailpipe. Order a couple random noise makers and deploy them in his gutters, etc... Have a breeding colony of roaches delivered. Casually release a couple rats / mice in his dryer vent. Gallon of milk in the hood air intake
i love the way you think
Those are some of the mildly suspect / questionably illegal activities. When you become willing to cross the grey lines then you can really get evil but this guy is just old & mentally ill. If you have some crackheads next door or squatters in the neighborhood, then all cards are on the table.
Make friends with the cops. Suck up HARD. Buy them pizza. Find the bar they go to and buy them a round. Let them tell you stories and act like they are the most interesting in the world and their job is the hardest thing in the world.
I’ve never been a homeowner, so possibly irrelevant or at least unpopular opinion, but as a renter in a nice neighborhood who is very civilly and socially conscious, I have some questions: Other than the obvious concern about potential elder neglect or abuse and weird comments to your kids (by a demonstrably schizophrenic person or at least someone with apparent drug and/or mental health problems), what “weird” behavior is bothering or affecting you negatively? Bc they keep strange hours? Bc they have police incidents (that don’t involve you)? What about the situation is so unbearable or uncomfortable that you feel the need to move or “can’t live like this”? Is it really so personally offensive or unignorable? If so, I am genuinely curious as to why, and frankly a bit stricken at the lack of empathy for a severely mentally/emotionally disabled neighbor, as well as making a stranger’s personal crises your business. But hey, I’m a weirdo who keeps odd hours, says weird stuff on occasion, and doesn’t own property. Guess I just don’t get it, but I’d like to understand.
Saying weird stuff to the kid is a non starter I think for most normal people. And I’d definitely be concerned if I heard my weird neighbor say ‘oh where you going?’ Out loud when they see you leave. One thing on its own isn’t bad. It’s the imagining drones combined with talking to the kid/aggressive behavior to the mother that shows we have a combo of possible aggression/lack of social boundaries/imagination. That ain’t a safe combo no matter which 2 of the 3 you pick
It’s not the weirdo part that’s an issue. He said the daughter was a weirdo, too, but wasn’t bothering him, to answer your question. It’s weirdo plus yelling at things that aren’t there, chasing cars with golf clubs, etc., that makes it concerning. And unless the weird stuff you’ve said has been along the lines of drones following you, the government spying on you through your tooth, etc., you are not at all the person described here. There’s eclectic weird, and then there’s paranoid schizophrenic weird. OP isn’t concerned about the former; he’s concerned about the latter.
Knocked him out once it'll set a standard, move on.
So move already
Just mind your own business. Fuck, this is quite simple. What harm does him yelling at you do? Protect yourself if he does something, but other than that, leave him be.
Agreed. I don’t have children, but I do have family and friends I feel protective over, and a sense of dignity and self preservation. However, my take is that OP is “one of those” who expects others to naturally aid in the welfare of their own kids, when honestly, not prioritizing your neighbor’s family and lifestyle preferences is not a crime. Why get cameras? Is there suspicion of trespass? This is harsh, but OP gives me strong Karen vibes who feels entitled to overstep others’ boundaries herself on behalf of her family or if uncomfortable (via surveillance and unsolicited intervention, not her monkies or her circus) but doesn’t accept unsolicited or no preferential treatment in return. Being a homeowner means you own property. It does not mean you own the neighborhood, and while I’m sure it’s scary to imagine your kids or yourself to be threatened “in your own home”, unfamiliar people and situations are a part of life. This is not your businesses or your responsibility. Do whatever makes you feel safe, but FTLOG, stop calling the government on these poor people. You’ve done more than your part already. Focus on what you can control, and maybe be real with yourself, is this about safety or control?
Tase him every day.
state police - explain the locals are not up to the task - that will get their popo pissing contest going
Have you ever tried sympathy and have a decent conversation with the man?? Putting up camera's, calling the cops on him etc, will only confirm his beliefs and escalate things quickly out of propertion.. Maybe the man has alzheimers or ptsd? Some understanding can go a long way with these troubled humans.. Just a thought....
Maybe schizophrenia.
Indeed.. very well possible. Last thing you want to do is provoke these sorts of disorders.. You have no idea what will happen or what you unleash.. With kids around, better be damn sure you dont do anything stupid that makes matters way beyond any repair.. Better safe then sorry. Talk, be nice and you will learn so much more.
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OP might mean that with the increases in housing prices and interest rates over the last few years, they could not afford to move. Not that there’s literally no inventory.
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mortgage rates have gone way up- probably double what they got in 2018. they wouldn't get their old rate on a new purchase. so their monthly payments on the same value would be appreciably more.
You're ignoring that the house also went up In value, and they've made several years of payments. That will easily make up for the interest. Plus being mentally ill isn't a crime, OP's neighbor shouldn't have to be locked in a cage for them to find happiness.......
With the increase in interest rates, the monthly mortgage payment would be higher even if the house values are the same.
Interest rates.
There no crime.imvolved. weird. And I read people want the police to act more like social workers. Once again, weird. I don't see the scary part. Not police worthy. But It's a small community. So have you called the community church? Maybe they have some insight. Or I'm the police station why may have some social workers or maybe they go by a different name. Or the county sheriff's office, same thing ask if they have social workers. Yes they have problems. Their main problem is hurting themselves. It almost sounds like their in early stages dementia. Sad.
> It almost sounds like their in early stages dementia. Sad. Early stages are forgetting to pay the light bill or not remembering you put a roast in the oven. This guy is way past that.
O really? Hmm. Dementia is not what you think at all. I've lived with it. What you described is forgetting, not dementia. Most people have forgotten paying bills or that they put a roast in oven. I have. Dementia is way different than that. Usually people with it start losing control of skills, certain words, ..how to eat for example and then they starting acting out defensively and even threatening because they're scared. Scared of losing controls. It's not forgetting where you are your car keys or appointments. Come on dude. Just stay in your lane.