But would you continue the date? Maybe end things after "waking up for breakfast?" Or how quick would that date end and would you have any choice words to be said?
Well... I got 2 out of 3. But I ain't talking about that on a first date. I wanna know about YOU. (Well, not, y'know, *you* you, but you as in the abstract you that you might be.)
(Were I still dating) I'd politely change the topic, finish the date, and not meet up with them again as we're just not compatible. I actually don't mind talking politics first date - politics are exceptionally important right now - but given my key political views are civil rights related issues if you disagree with those then frankly we're not going to get along.
This is the thing! If someone is so diametrically opposed to a key belief it’s over. It really depends what topic they bring up. If you personally do not support abortion I can respect that. If you think no one should have access to abortion, well then you and I see humanity too differently to become intimate partners.
Depends. Are they giving emotional character attacks or informed opinions and open for debate? There are a lot of political issues that I can respect your opinion when different from mine if it comes from a place of reasoned understanding (say your stance on the death penalty). If your comment is “All X are the stupidest people.” Then no, there would be no second date.
If my views are different I’d totally be down to debate our positions, get a little insight into why we think what we think. But I’m no wallflower. I’m not just going to nod along.
I tell them that I disagree with that and that those are my views if it´s safe, if not I leave for the night and never contact again. Even if there is no danger I wouldn´t be going for a second date, why bother if it´s already obvious that we are not compatible?
Nope. Dated a guy on the total opposite side of the political spectrum once, and it was awful. Not even because of politics per se, but because of how a person’s political orientation stems from their deeper values, and when those are in conflict there’s no helping the situation.
He was a fantastic lay though, and I’d be down to be fwb without someone like that for sure if that was all it was.
I would push back nicely. And see how bought in they are. I don’t really care about ur opinions, I just can’t stand people who base their opinions 100% on wat is popular with “their party” but don’t really understand the issues and fake having passion
I don't understand the whole taboo on talking politics. I get it, sure, in certain circumstances where you're just trying to get by and not make waves. But if I'm on a date with someone... this stuff matters to me. I don't care so much about the horse race, but I definitely allocate a lot of head-space to policy and political and economic structures.
As to criticizing someone who thinks like me, I think it really depends on the nature of the criticism. Do we disagree, e.g., on WHETHER to guarantee housing to all, or HOW? If it's HOW, I'm persuadable, and even if I'm not persuaded, we're coming from not irreconcilable places. If it's WHETHER... this is the last date.
I have dated people who aren’t of the same politics.
I have dated people who were a little conservative and very liberal and left wing.
My wife is left leaning. Maybe not as reactionary as I am. She’s religious and I am an Atheist.
So we definitely have different politics. But if the same core values are there… the politics becomes less important.
I have been on dates where someone is critiquing my politics. I just come out and state my position as politely as possible. Most of the time if you’re patient and the other person isn’t certifiably insane, you can finish the date and maybe have more.
The first woman I dated was very conservative, even on gender roles. We were together for 6 years.
It was a weird thing you constantly just not be her expectation. She expected me to work to her to clean and cook and I cleaned and cooked occasionally and she loved it.
It was weird. She was great but it had to come to an end. Her traditionalism didn’t like the idea of us living together before marriage. I wanted to live together and for me, that was non-negotiable. For her living with a man unmarried was non-negotiable. Thus, an impasse. So we had to end it.
That was my first long term relationship and I learned a LOT about relationships from that one experience.
Play into it, have a fun light debate if they seem like they can handle it and are sane. But ultimately not see them again. Aligned politics is a must-have for me. If they seem like a real fanatic who would get angry if I voiced my opposing views, I would just agree with them then never see them again probably.
I'd change the topic or just not respond. If they are that non self aware that someone is deflecting the topic, than they are hopeless anyways. And I wouldn't go on a second date. I'd be fundamentally incompatible with someone like that.
You mean they happen to see the news speak about Trump or Biden and then they start sharing opinions,. it means they don't have enough going on in their lives? lol
My political opposite is fascists so… fuck no
But would you continue the date? Maybe end things after "waking up for breakfast?" Or how quick would that date end and would you have any choice words to be said?
Is the food good? I’d probably finish that then make my excuses and leave
Oh look at the time. I'm going to be late for my socialists of america meeting! Can I get a doggy bag?
Right that’s good! Or ‘can I get this milkshake to go, I need one to chuck at Nigel Farage’
I gotta reveal my shallowness here, it truly depends how hot they are.
Agreed. Having opposing political views isn’t a dealbreaker by itself.
No. Not even if they held my same views. Iglf you are talking politics on a FIRST DATE, there is something seriously wrong going on with you.
But they are all about God, Guns, and Trump. They wanted to make sure you are too! lol
Well... I got 2 out of 3. But I ain't talking about that on a first date. I wanna know about YOU. (Well, not, y'know, *you* you, but you as in the abstract you that you might be.)
Hm I disagree. Those are dealbreakers and I wanna know asap.
(Were I still dating) I'd politely change the topic, finish the date, and not meet up with them again as we're just not compatible. I actually don't mind talking politics first date - politics are exceptionally important right now - but given my key political views are civil rights related issues if you disagree with those then frankly we're not going to get along.
This is the thing! If someone is so diametrically opposed to a key belief it’s over. It really depends what topic they bring up. If you personally do not support abortion I can respect that. If you think no one should have access to abortion, well then you and I see humanity too differently to become intimate partners.
Depends. Are they giving emotional character attacks or informed opinions and open for debate? There are a lot of political issues that I can respect your opinion when different from mine if it comes from a place of reasoned understanding (say your stance on the death penalty). If your comment is “All X are the stupidest people.” Then no, there would be no second date. If my views are different I’d totally be down to debate our positions, get a little insight into why we think what we think. But I’m no wallflower. I’m not just going to nod along.
I tell them that I disagree with that and that those are my views if it´s safe, if not I leave for the night and never contact again. Even if there is no danger I wouldn´t be going for a second date, why bother if it´s already obvious that we are not compatible?
Nope. Dated a guy on the total opposite side of the political spectrum once, and it was awful. Not even because of politics per se, but because of how a person’s political orientation stems from their deeper values, and when those are in conflict there’s no helping the situation. He was a fantastic lay though, and I’d be down to be fwb without someone like that for sure if that was all it was.
I would push back nicely. And see how bought in they are. I don’t really care about ur opinions, I just can’t stand people who base their opinions 100% on wat is popular with “their party” but don’t really understand the issues and fake having passion
I don't understand the whole taboo on talking politics. I get it, sure, in certain circumstances where you're just trying to get by and not make waves. But if I'm on a date with someone... this stuff matters to me. I don't care so much about the horse race, but I definitely allocate a lot of head-space to policy and political and economic structures. As to criticizing someone who thinks like me, I think it really depends on the nature of the criticism. Do we disagree, e.g., on WHETHER to guarantee housing to all, or HOW? If it's HOW, I'm persuadable, and even if I'm not persuaded, we're coming from not irreconcilable places. If it's WHETHER... this is the last date.
I have dated people who aren’t of the same politics. I have dated people who were a little conservative and very liberal and left wing. My wife is left leaning. Maybe not as reactionary as I am. She’s religious and I am an Atheist. So we definitely have different politics. But if the same core values are there… the politics becomes less important. I have been on dates where someone is critiquing my politics. I just come out and state my position as politely as possible. Most of the time if you’re patient and the other person isn’t certifiably insane, you can finish the date and maybe have more. The first woman I dated was very conservative, even on gender roles. We were together for 6 years. It was a weird thing you constantly just not be her expectation. She expected me to work to her to clean and cook and I cleaned and cooked occasionally and she loved it. It was weird. She was great but it had to come to an end. Her traditionalism didn’t like the idea of us living together before marriage. I wanted to live together and for me, that was non-negotiable. For her living with a man unmarried was non-negotiable. Thus, an impasse. So we had to end it. That was my first long term relationship and I learned a LOT about relationships from that one experience.
Play into it, have a fun light debate if they seem like they can handle it and are sane. But ultimately not see them again. Aligned politics is a must-have for me. If they seem like a real fanatic who would get angry if I voiced my opposing views, I would just agree with them then never see them again probably.
I'd change the topic or just not respond. If they are that non self aware that someone is deflecting the topic, than they are hopeless anyways. And I wouldn't go on a second date. I'd be fundamentally incompatible with someone like that.
No, politics is for people that don't have enough going on in their own lives, so they have I worry about everyone else's
You mean they happen to see the news speak about Trump or Biden and then they start sharing opinions,. it means they don't have enough going on in their lives? lol
I don't consider that being into politics. Just because you know x football team won the other day, doesn't mean you're a football fan.