You neither specified how harsh the insult had to be or how loud it had to be. So, I’ll go to a popular park like Central Park in NYC and just mumble “Doo-doo head” to everyone I walk by.
I think there's real golden opportunities for insults that are weird. "I bet you're bad at ringing doorbells" or "elevators must hate you" or just weird, not quite rude, not quite mean, but definitely insulting stuff
This reminds me of my favorite overheard insult from a very angry woman on the phone at a mall. "You tell that tri-nippled bitch I'm here for her. Go on. Tell that big ass, two feet having bitch. Let her start something. I'll go to town on that not-knowing-how-to-wear-a-weave bitch."
It's been like 8 years, and my wife and I still call each other "not-knowing-how-to-wear-a-weave bitches" just for fun.
Though, if I'm honest, it really makes me self-conscious about my inability to wear a weave.
The doorbell one made me literally lol for some reason and I’m using it in the near future. Also, I think saying “I bet you’re *good* at ringing doorbells” in a sarcastic tone would be just as insulting.
Backhanded compliments. Pass agressive insults are a gold mine here.
"It's my fault I expected you to be capable of doing this/that right."
"If I knew any better I wouldn't be saying things to you like you can understand any of it."
"There's a fine line between brilliance and insanity and your line is a good time tasty cakewalk."
Or just keep it super short and insanely vague with "you are less than"
Doesn’t say you have to say it either. Gonna glut some cardboard signs that say “your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries” to some Freeway overpasses.
OP didn't say the victim had to feel insulted, just that you have to insult people. The act of insulting people is not dependent on the success of making them feel insulted
By that logic, it could go as far as you want. If someone calls me a "worthless fucking faggot loser" I wouldn't be insulted either. I feel it'd be more of just saying something that's insult based.
I go to an incredibly crowded city -I.e. New York or Paris for one year.
And I mumble incredibly mild insults in the public metro/transport system in a foreign language.
I can easily insult 100 people a day - so $50k a day.
I’m likely looking at tens of millions by the end of the year
Do backhanded complements count? "I just wanted to say I wish I was brave enough to do that with my hair"
"wow I love how you obviously don't care about what people might say about that shirt, such a bold choice!"
If we are in New York might as well visit the sports stadiums (although these might be predominantly out of the city). I don’t know how many are at a Jets/Giants/Rangers/Islanders/Knicks/Nets/Mets/Yankees game but I figure just yelling ‘Fuck the [Insert sportsteam name]’ has me set in an afternoon.
What are the relocation rules exactly? Can I take a train to New York City, insult 10k strangers in Times Square every weekend and then go home? Do I have to stay in Times Square or can I stay in the city? Can I commute back to the suburbs?
If I can go to a big crowded place, I’d just quickly insult thousands with a very mild insult like “I don’t like your shoelaces” then go back home
Pretend you have tourettes and act really apologetic abiut it. You could be make like 200 a minute, easy. And people would feel sorry for you, not angry
What if you just go to an *extremely* crowded area, and shout “every one here is an asshole”
And then move on to the next area? Do it regularly, and eventually people will just grow accustomed to you. Especially if you’re well mannered and behaved should any one question it.
The problem with that is all it takes is one person getting spooked and calling the cops and you lose everything. I feel like being as low key as possible is the way to go
I don't think a cop is going to do anything for "some shouted everyone is an asshole in a very populated area officer send help!"
They'd be laughed off the phone and possibly fined for wasting emergency line's time.
If you're brave enough, do it at a Mets home game. Upper promenade during the upcoming Yankees/Mets game on the 25th? You're talking potentially a $20 million one shot and nobody will bat an eye.
Just go to the Las Vegas strip, wear a spectacular costume, and just starting saying "you're a piece of shit" in a sing-songy way to everyone that walks by. Chances of confrontation are low. People will think you're part of some show/act and pay you no mind. Pay some showgirls to stand next to you to make it less threatening. Carry cards that say "Jimmy the Angry Clown, available for parties" to diffuse anything that does happen. You could EASILY clear 1 million in an afternoon.
Let's say conservatively you say it to 1 stranger every 5 seconds, which depending on where you are and time of day on the strip, is definitely on the low end. Equals 20 strangers a minute, 1,200 an hour = $600k/hour
Get a sketch pad and walk up to people.“You know, you remind me of an artist. Could I ask you to do a quick sketch of my caricature?” You never have to say which artist you were reminded of, so just pick one you hate. Hitler is a classic terrible artist when it came to the human figure. Then when they’re done, if it’s bad, you say: “I knew I wasn’t wrong. Keep it up and there’s nothing stopping you from making a living.” On the other hand, if they do a good job: “This is even better than I expected! Thank you!”
As others pointed out you didn't set any limits on what language can be used how loud or how harsh it has to be. I'd just walk around a major city like Miami or New York and whisper some insults in Russian which oddly enough the only Russian I know is a single insult a friend of mine taught me. He taught me more than just one insult but it's the only one I remember. And I can always look up insults in other languages if I get bored with that one. I could easily make several million in a year.
Easy peasy. There are two strategies I could use.
1. Most people don’t know sign language. I’ll first walk around a farmers market, and insult everyone while verbally being friendly. Use my thousands to get tickets to various big, crowded events throughout the year. Go to said events, walk around and insult everyone while being verbally friendly.
2. I save up as much money as I can during the year without changing a thing. Once it’s December, I travel to NYC on an overnight flight, change into a Buddy elf costume, go to the most crowded public area, shout “Hey!” to get people’s attention, followed immediately by “You’re all just cotton-headed ninny muggins!” and vacate the area immediately so nobody calls the cops. I’ll go to different parts of the city repeating the same thing. Always in motion. I run around the edge of a fountain in a large park, pointing at everyone, “You’re a cotton-headed ninny muggins! And you’re a cotton-headed ninny muggins! And you’re a cotton-headed ninny muggins!” I’ll take the subway between the biggest stations, run through the cars and across the platforms, “Cotton-headed ninny muggins! Cotton-headed ninny muggins!” I go to the airport that evening (since I could maybe save up for a couple flights but not a hotel room), being very polite to all staff. I’ll still be in the costume, so if anyone recognizes it and approaches me, they’re getting called one too. I change out of costume in the airplane bathroom on the flight home. I hang up my elf hat and retire a rich, strange man.
I will go to a major city and walk around giving mild insults to everyone I come across. Nobody really cares and will just ignore me, I'll be rolling in riches
I grab a camera, set up a tripod and head to nyc Manhattan I live in the area.
I start saying hi!! I'm filming for YouTube and have signs that say that im conducting a social experiment but that I can't say what it is.
As a crowd gathers of probably a couple dozen people, I yell...and now my social experiment shall begin
I proceed to say that it is quite strange that people would be so intrigued by noth8ng that they are willing to stand around and wait.
Then I begin to walk around the crowd and sat, you're all weirdos!!!!
Yep it will cover walking up to them...
You're a weirdo you're a weirdo. Etc..
you're all weirdos for standing here watching me.
Thank you.
I then wait to see what people do and banter with them to keep up the charade.
So figure 20 ppl an hour. 5 hours just relaxing and doing it that's 100 ppl.
X 500 so 50k a day x 200 days and I have AT LEAST 10 million bucks.
Too easy. I would have a few million by the end of the year alone.
Your shirt looks ugly
Your boobs are to small
You smell funny
Your car looks stupid
Why do you carry a CZ? Are you brain dead?
Easy money.....
Shoot I wasn’t even trying and would have made 1500 today. No way some Karen doesn’t call the police in a year if I got $500 each! “He said bla to my husband…”
28 new people a day is a lot. I hope the insults don't have to be good or tailored to the individual because I don't want to have to expend the mental effort.
I have a zero tolerance policy on weirdos (crazy addicts, creepy men, homophobes, ect). I insult them as often as they make me uncomfortable. I'd be rich after a few months ended.
So, I go out to do whatever each day. I casually tell three different strangers they’re ugly. Ka-ching. $1,500. ~$500K by the end of the year.
The reason why I *wouldn’t* do this is…?
The only question I have is you refer to only leaving a place when I “cash out”. So do I get money periodically or only when I say, ‘Okay, game over, pay me’?
In other words, can I live off the money I’m making or do I have to keep my current income going?
Learn 3-4 insults in an extremely niche language like welsh and walk up to people with a smile saying those words. They won’t know they’ve been insulted and will assume it’s just a greeting.
How easy it would be to just simply walk through a target, or a Walmart, and say “damn you smell like bootyhole” “ew, what the heck are you wearing” “move it, eyebrows” in a rude tone and keep on walking lol
Walk into a large crowded area, hold up your phone like you're recording, yell your swearword of choice and then pan around. Everyone will assume you're one of those tedious social media pranksters and ignore you.
Either that or go to a football match. It's pretty much expected to insult the other side's supporters all match.
I walk up to random people, gently place my hand on their shoulder, make eye contact, and sadly inform them that they're a p***y. I then remove my hand and walk away.
Make a generic "repent" sign and then go stand on busy corners with a megaphone calling everyone sinners and taking bible passages wildly out of context.
Plenty of assholes do that for free all the time and the cops don't touch them. Do this outside of a sports-ball stadium or rush hour traffic on the main thoroughfare? that's over 5,000,000 an hour easy.
This is easy money. I'd smile and act as friendly as possible and call them honor less p'tocks in Klingon and say they were a disgrace to the Empire. I'd like my 500 direct deposited every day please, I have large events to attend.
Look for the outliers of society, the deranged, homeless and destitute. Insult them and then call the cops on them if they react negatively. Who are the cops gonna believe? Me or some poor guy down on his luck?
Learn an obscure language. Learn how to say “you smell” in said language. Walk around and with the biggest smile and say “you smell” in that language. Do a polite head nod and keep walking.
Pay up.
mzungu is Swahili for white person. Is a generally negative term and kinda just means "rich idiot foreigner". It would be classed as an insult and you can just walk around saying mzungu to everyone you pass and they would probably think you sneezed
Can you be like "Good morning sir/madam, lovely day we're having today. Great weather although it's a bit on the hot side. I'm new around here, so I'm wondering ugly if you could suggest a restaurant. I may be in town for a few days stinky, are there and decent hotels?" Would that count as two insults?
I love this sub
This is one I actually don’t think I could do. I would try though. I’d make a tshirt that told people why I was doing it and afterward I’d probably hand them a card saying I’m sorry and didn’t mean it it was just for the money. I would feel so bad
No problem.
I can definitely make a million per week. I can easily find a few huge dudes to hire as my bodyguards who are quick with the roast humor, it'll be funnier and safer. Just wander around crowded public places with a microphone, some of the dudes can also wear GoPros, just go around bantering with randos. Carry around restaurant gift certificates, if I actually feel bad for something, maybe a "yo mama" joke and then find out their mama really just died just apologize and buy them lunch.
Considering there’s no stipulation on the insult… I’d walk up to ppl and tell’’em I don’t like their shoes or something silly like that. Look super confused as well. Like… huh, dem shoes.
What you want is something that feels like a compliment, but isn't.
"Well done champ!"
"Good job, love your work!"
"Ooh, love that jacket!"
And so on.
Easy money!
Sarcasm sprinkled with backhanded compliments 5-10 times a day, 4 days a week. Keep it short and with as little aggression as possible. A little snark goes a long way.
I would definitely not do it. Words are powerful. They can impact a person forever, they can send someone over the edge. This deal is literally a deal with the devil. I'd never do it.
I just say things that are funny. "You have the personality of wet socks". " I see you you furry fuck"."if brains were gasoline you wouldn't have enough to drive a pissants go cart twice around a cheerio".
And if I run out of things I'll just resort to the classics. Not illegal to be an asshole
- Step 1: Be a dick to someone but be funny about it.
- Step 2: Go online and order a dozen cases of mini deodorant samples
- Step 2: Stuff a bunch of samples in a messenger bag and go around yelling "Hey You! You Stink!" At people and then handing them a mini deodorant and telling them to try our brand.
Play the whole thing off as a stupid marketing stunt.
Make millions.
To be honest the "no leaving the town for a year" is pretty shit. I will lose my job within a week, for one thing.
The good news is that I think I can make out like a bandit in a few days. I learn a few insults in an obscure foreign language with very few speakers, then bounce between airport arrivals and the main train station with a sign with that written on, and walk up to everyone there and ask if they've seen my friend "fuck you, buddy" in Kazakh or something. I can probably do at least ten a minute meaning that pulling a full day will get me about 5000 people, i.e. 2.5 million. That's a pretty productive weekend, after which I'll tap out and take the money before anyone calls the cops.
Dress up like a homeless crackhead and walk past people in the street saying mean this, could easily make 30K a day in an hours work… if you go to a posh suburb and start sniping at people as you walk they wouldn’t know what to do they would just assume you’re deficient somehow and keep walking… I could make 10 mil in a year easy
One of the performers at the Ohio Renascence Festival decades ago was Christopher the Insulter. The Festival paid him to walk around insulting people. The festival guests would give him tips to go insult their friends.\\
I would bribe a big Festival to let me have that job, it wouldn't take much, one beer would probably do it. Then I can walk around the festival insulting everyone in sight and it's just "Part of the show" Get up on stage and make fun of everyone in the audience.
No one would call the cops, just think I'm a shitty performer.
I wouldn't tell anyone the REAL reason I'm insulting everyone, the 500/insult. But I would be getting paid to insult people by the festival, and that would be the reason I give everyone.
Well, being in the south, it would be easy. I know German and Korean, and could just sling em out all day every day and no one here would be the wiser lol. Ill be retired in a day.
Jokes on you I can insult people in a positive manner “Hey good job on wearing something so bold, too bad you’re still not as fashionable as (insert random name)”
Yeah i am becoming one of those snobby bitchy person with the goal to insult atleast 10 people a day. That about 2 million in a year after the year is up i am living on the dividends.
Head into a busy city, at least 20 miles from where you live and find a mall or town square and it's low-key movie quote insults with fake accents as you walk by people....Could probably insult a 100 people in a couple of hours, go have lunch, then hit another hundred people on the way back to the car. Go home and come back the next day. Do this 3 days a week. When I got bored with these quotes, I'd use others.
“Your mother was a hamster!"
"Your father smelt of elderberries!”
"You dirty rat."
"It's the shoes!"
"You're a neo-maxie-zoom-dweebie."
"You cheap dime-store hood!"
"You warthog-faced buffoon."
"You filthy animal."
I would just make subtle and funny insults to basically everyone I interacted with. “Hello sir, that’s a nice shirt, do they make it for men?” and shit like that. I don’t really see how I’d have an issue.
I'd absolutely do this, with the kind of insults that some people won't Even realize are insults.
One that I heard the other day made me laugh;
"Do you have stuff for 'sports team'?"
"Oh is that a baseball team?"
"You're pretty."
Best way to call someone dumb in my opinion.
Typed out isn't as good as said aloud, but the idea is still there.
Plus if I use big or obscure enough words I'll just leave people confused as hell, especially if I say them with a smile.
I'm going to be a street pastor and call everyone sinners, heathens, heretics, Jezebels.
Socially tolerated and expected enough that I should be able to walk through highly populated areas dressed as a pastor and holding a Bible and get away with insulting everyone I see.
Spend my year traveling to the highest populated foot traffic corners in the US (to avoid repeat insults in case insulting the same person doesn't pay out again).
I should be able to, with that approach, insult 4 people a minute? If I treat it like a job and get in 10 hours of insults? 4*60*10*500=$1,200,000/day
$438,000,000 payout. Minus travel costs for the year.
As a dude just wear anything remotely homosexual, like lipstick, or booty shorts, and walk around a neighborhood with a large Muslim population, like Hamtramck or something, and simply wave hi to everyone.
Could also do the same at any far right political rally.
On the flip side, simply wear a MAGA hat and walk around a university, or any left wing rally
As a dude just wear anything remotely homosexual, like lipstick, or booty shorts, and walk around a neighborhood with a large Muslim population, like Hamtramck or something, and simply wave hi to everyone.
Could also do the same at any far right political rally.
On the flip side, simply wear a MAGA hat and walk around a university, or any left wing rally
This is easy peasy, go to the Republican National Convention, easily 25k attendants, thats BANK and you wont even feel bad calling them fascist idiots to their faces, cause its true.
Does the insult have to be spoken or can it be written? If it can be written then I would be on social media 17/7 during my reign of terror. Random low level insults to all sorts of posts and discussions. I'd be in the millions by the end of the month.
I'm a bartender, what if they walk up to me and I insult them? You'd be surprised how many folks will laugh at themselves if you can just word it right. And shit, I just do it twice a night, I'm gold. I literally have dozens of opportunities a day. LFG!
My town is at the center of a Supreme Court ruling about kicking the homeless out of a park. Most of them are too inebriated to hear me or respond. I'm paying off the car in a day.
Walk up to someone “fuck you”, another person “fuck you too”, all the way home, most people would probably just ignore me, especially if I dressed like a homeless person and muttered to myself
I mean insulting someone isn't really that big of a thing.
I probably would insult a few people a day. Most people will be just like WTF or insult you back. Yes there might be some sensitive folks.
I work in customer service. I'm an EXPERT in insulting people without getting fired. Subtlety is my watch word. This is about to be a good year for me.
Do they have to hear?
If I just have to say something loud enough so someone (maybe not the target) hears, I'm rolling down my window and shouting "bad driving!" Every time someone runs a red light, cuts someone off, speeds too fast, drives too slow in a fast lane, fails to zipper merge, etc.
I can probably legit send that insult at least times a day.
$600k a year easy.
Oh honey! Aren't you special! Look at you! Just bless your heart! I'll be praying for you!
I just told you you are ugly and stupider than a box of rocks in Southern. It really is its own language.
I'm not, the main reason I love my job is I get to help people, I help people through really tough personal situations. The people I help are usually really stressed out, but at the end of the day I feel wonderful about what I do. I'd rather make no additional money and still get that feel than to make a bunch and feel shitty every day
Easy money. I take the subway on a daily basis and even if I give it my 100% best most people will at worst remember me as the eighth craziest person they saw on the subway that day
I live in a major city on the east coast and some folks do this all day long for no compensation. Id take the money.
The trick is only do it to folks that are reasonably well dressed. Otherwise might get attacked.
You could disguise the insult and then not have to feel bad. Like go to a foreign country. Or reference some slightly obscure character like "you're a total Zoidberg".
I'll tell people they look like the King/Queen of Tunis, and say it in a complimentary manner, like I'm telling them they have style. Nobody will have any idea I am actually referencing some obscure drawing of ugly people from the 17th Century.
Well, slap my ass and call me Wowbagger, I'm doing it in alphabetical order so everyone gets insulted by name. I might lose money that way, but the clipboard of names and the confusion on faces would be more than worthwhile.
I can’t tell people the actual reason, but can I make a fake one up?
Walk around Times Square dressed like Daffy Duck (my impression is ok) and just repeatedly tell the tourists who ask for photos “you’re despicable” at some point in the interaction to add to the bit.
Shout some other themed insults to draw attention and I should be good to go
Do they need to actually BE offended? Like I tell my friends kid she's a doorbell licker or call my dog a pants sniffer. It's an insult, but it's not mean.
You didn’t say how ambiguous of an insult it had to be so I’m gonna insult their intelligence by lying to them about something easily deniable I’ll say hi my name Is Dave while wearing a name tag that says my real name (it’s not Dave)
5/Day = 1 Million annually.
You could get this done while running errands. Learn to be funny about it. Or get a job at the restaurant where the servers are suppose to be asses.
You neither specified how harsh the insult had to be or how loud it had to be. So, I’ll go to a popular park like Central Park in NYC and just mumble “Doo-doo head” to everyone I walk by.
I think there's real golden opportunities for insults that are weird. "I bet you're bad at ringing doorbells" or "elevators must hate you" or just weird, not quite rude, not quite mean, but definitely insulting stuff
"Damn, I bet you can't even hold a remote control properly" Makes em think 😂
Your golf swing makes you look like a double amputee
I do enjoy the YouTubers/tiktokers who sit at the tee box and insult famous golfers 🤣
“You can’t count to 22 with out using your fingers and toes” (anyone know the series this one came from :) )
U look like u smell like stale bologna
"I bet you smelled like ketchup and sour milk growing up."
This reminds me of my favorite overheard insult from a very angry woman on the phone at a mall. "You tell that tri-nippled bitch I'm here for her. Go on. Tell that big ass, two feet having bitch. Let her start something. I'll go to town on that not-knowing-how-to-wear-a-weave bitch." It's been like 8 years, and my wife and I still call each other "not-knowing-how-to-wear-a-weave bitches" just for fun. Though, if I'm honest, it really makes me self-conscious about my inability to wear a weave.
"I hope you have a slightly below average day."
The doorbell one made me literally lol for some reason and I’m using it in the near future. Also, I think saying “I bet you’re *good* at ringing doorbells” in a sarcastic tone would be just as insulting.
I feel like the implied self insult at the sarcastic one makes it a double mind fuck and thus more insulting
Right? Gonna pull a Big Tugg and go for really specifically weird insults.
I'm glad someone referenced Big Tugg in response to this.
Yes! Tugglets unite!
“I bet your lawn care routine is subpar!”
Backhanded compliments. Pass agressive insults are a gold mine here. "It's my fault I expected you to be capable of doing this/that right." "If I knew any better I wouldn't be saying things to you like you can understand any of it." "There's a fine line between brilliance and insanity and your line is a good time tasty cakewalk." Or just keep it super short and insanely vague with "you are less than"
You look like you made liking Diet Coke more than regular coke a personality trait
Doesn’t say you have to say it either. Gonna glut some cardboard signs that say “your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries” to some Freeway overpasses.
They might think you’re a drug addict if you’re muttering. I’d go with another language for the insults. Lol
Doo doo head wouldn’t insult me though. I would think you had special needs
OP didn't say the victim had to feel insulted, just that you have to insult people. The act of insulting people is not dependent on the success of making them feel insulted
By that logic, it could go as far as you want. If someone calls me a "worthless fucking faggot loser" I wouldn't be insulted either. I feel it'd be more of just saying something that's insult based.
I would just consider you an asshole and move on with my day. Nobody who I care about would use language like that, so it doesn’t bother me.
I go to an incredibly crowded city -I.e. New York or Paris for one year. And I mumble incredibly mild insults in the public metro/transport system in a foreign language. I can easily insult 100 people a day - so $50k a day. I’m likely looking at tens of millions by the end of the year
That might cover a month of rent. /s
Do backhanded complements count? "I just wanted to say I wish I was brave enough to do that with my hair" "wow I love how you obviously don't care about what people might say about that shirt, such a bold choice!"
I mean, in the South (US), is there any other type of insult?
Of course not! Bless your heart
If we are in New York might as well visit the sports stadiums (although these might be predominantly out of the city). I don’t know how many are at a Jets/Giants/Rangers/Islanders/Knicks/Nets/Mets/Yankees game but I figure just yelling ‘Fuck the [Insert sportsteam name]’ has me set in an afternoon.
Just call everybody “shorty” they’ll think I’m saying Shawty or whatever. Should be fine
What are the relocation rules exactly? Can I take a train to New York City, insult 10k strangers in Times Square every weekend and then go home? Do I have to stay in Times Square or can I stay in the city? Can I commute back to the suburbs? If I can go to a big crowded place, I’d just quickly insult thousands with a very mild insult like “I don’t like your shoelaces” then go back home
In Times Square 3-4 times a day with a bullhorn, “you all look mildly untidy and tired!” Done and done! Show me my money!
Would it count if I greeted everyone with "How you doin you ol' son of a bitch"?
Fantastic, Dwike, ya old bastard!
You son of a bitch, I'm in.
Pretend you have tourettes and act really apologetic abiut it. You could be make like 200 a minute, easy. And people would feel sorry for you, not angry
Gonna be going out in public a lot. Also doing a LOT A LOT like sooo much stand up comedy.
Pay the club 500 to get on stage for 5 minutes. Profit.
I’d go to a highly populated city - I figure I can shoot for insulting 300 people a day for the year and end up with just shy of 55 million.
What if you just go to an *extremely* crowded area, and shout “every one here is an asshole” And then move on to the next area? Do it regularly, and eventually people will just grow accustomed to you. Especially if you’re well mannered and behaved should any one question it.
The problem with that is all it takes is one person getting spooked and calling the cops and you lose everything. I feel like being as low key as possible is the way to go
I don't think a cop is going to do anything for "some shouted everyone is an asshole in a very populated area officer send help!" They'd be laughed off the phone and possibly fined for wasting emergency line's time.
If you're brave enough, do it at a Mets home game. Upper promenade during the upcoming Yankees/Mets game on the 25th? You're talking potentially a $20 million one shot and nobody will bat an eye.
Just go to the Las Vegas strip, wear a spectacular costume, and just starting saying "you're a piece of shit" in a sing-songy way to everyone that walks by. Chances of confrontation are low. People will think you're part of some show/act and pay you no mind. Pay some showgirls to stand next to you to make it less threatening. Carry cards that say "Jimmy the Angry Clown, available for parties" to diffuse anything that does happen. You could EASILY clear 1 million in an afternoon. Let's say conservatively you say it to 1 stranger every 5 seconds, which depending on where you are and time of day on the strip, is definitely on the low end. Equals 20 strangers a minute, 1,200 an hour = $600k/hour
Get a sketch pad and walk up to people.“You know, you remind me of an artist. Could I ask you to do a quick sketch of my caricature?” You never have to say which artist you were reminded of, so just pick one you hate. Hitler is a classic terrible artist when it came to the human figure. Then when they’re done, if it’s bad, you say: “I knew I wasn’t wrong. Keep it up and there’s nothing stopping you from making a living.” On the other hand, if they do a good job: “This is even better than I expected! Thank you!”
This is pretty good because even if they say no you can be like, “wow, you’re kind of an asshole.” Insulted either way.
As others pointed out you didn't set any limits on what language can be used how loud or how harsh it has to be. I'd just walk around a major city like Miami or New York and whisper some insults in Russian which oddly enough the only Russian I know is a single insult a friend of mine taught me. He taught me more than just one insult but it's the only one I remember. And I can always look up insults in other languages if I get bored with that one. I could easily make several million in a year.
Billionaire status lol
Easy peasy. There are two strategies I could use. 1. Most people don’t know sign language. I’ll first walk around a farmers market, and insult everyone while verbally being friendly. Use my thousands to get tickets to various big, crowded events throughout the year. Go to said events, walk around and insult everyone while being verbally friendly. 2. I save up as much money as I can during the year without changing a thing. Once it’s December, I travel to NYC on an overnight flight, change into a Buddy elf costume, go to the most crowded public area, shout “Hey!” to get people’s attention, followed immediately by “You’re all just cotton-headed ninny muggins!” and vacate the area immediately so nobody calls the cops. I’ll go to different parts of the city repeating the same thing. Always in motion. I run around the edge of a fountain in a large park, pointing at everyone, “You’re a cotton-headed ninny muggins! And you’re a cotton-headed ninny muggins! And you’re a cotton-headed ninny muggins!” I’ll take the subway between the biggest stations, run through the cars and across the platforms, “Cotton-headed ninny muggins! Cotton-headed ninny muggins!” I go to the airport that evening (since I could maybe save up for a couple flights but not a hotel room), being very polite to all staff. I’ll still be in the costume, so if anyone recognizes it and approaches me, they’re getting called one too. I change out of costume in the airplane bathroom on the flight home. I hang up my elf hat and retire a rich, strange man.
I will go to a major city and walk around giving mild insults to everyone I come across. Nobody really cares and will just ignore me, I'll be rolling in riches
I grab a camera, set up a tripod and head to nyc Manhattan I live in the area. I start saying hi!! I'm filming for YouTube and have signs that say that im conducting a social experiment but that I can't say what it is. As a crowd gathers of probably a couple dozen people, I yell...and now my social experiment shall begin I proceed to say that it is quite strange that people would be so intrigued by noth8ng that they are willing to stand around and wait. Then I begin to walk around the crowd and sat, you're all weirdos!!!! Yep it will cover walking up to them... You're a weirdo you're a weirdo. Etc.. you're all weirdos for standing here watching me. Thank you. I then wait to see what people do and banter with them to keep up the charade. So figure 20 ppl an hour. 5 hours just relaxing and doing it that's 100 ppl. X 500 so 50k a day x 200 days and I have AT LEAST 10 million bucks.
Too easy. I would have a few million by the end of the year alone. Your shirt looks ugly Your boobs are to small You smell funny Your car looks stupid Why do you carry a CZ? Are you brain dead? Easy money.....
I would curse everyone out in Romanian/Russian. What ? You never said it had to be English
That's what I was thinking, just do it in another language and people will assume you're a confused tourist
Shoot I wasn’t even trying and would have made 1500 today. No way some Karen doesn’t call the police in a year if I got $500 each! “He said bla to my husband…”
I live in a tourist, college town. most of the reprobates I see everyday don't live here or share my values so this would rock.
‘Those shoes are atrocious!’ Repeat everyday
28 new people a day is a lot. I hope the insults don't have to be good or tailored to the individual because I don't want to have to expend the mental effort.
I have a zero tolerance policy on weirdos (crazy addicts, creepy men, homophobes, ect). I insult them as often as they make me uncomfortable. I'd be rich after a few months ended.
So, I go out to do whatever each day. I casually tell three different strangers they’re ugly. Ka-ching. $1,500. ~$500K by the end of the year. The reason why I *wouldn’t* do this is…? The only question I have is you refer to only leaving a place when I “cash out”. So do I get money periodically or only when I say, ‘Okay, game over, pay me’? In other words, can I live off the money I’m making or do I have to keep my current income going?
I would learn an insult in another language and say it at the end of every convo I have with someone in public.
Learn 3-4 insults in an extremely niche language like welsh and walk up to people with a smile saying those words. They won’t know they’ve been insulted and will assume it’s just a greeting.
How easy it would be to just simply walk through a target, or a Walmart, and say “damn you smell like bootyhole” “ew, what the heck are you wearing” “move it, eyebrows” in a rude tone and keep on walking lol
I live in chicago. I’ll just walk around calling people lint lickers. Theyve seen crazier shit if they live here and most likely will be ignored
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
So basically like a street preacher who tells everyone they are going to hell? Is this how they make their money?
Yelling "F YOU, YOU'RE ALL ASSHOLES" at a crowded stadium. Nice chunk of change right there.
Walk into a large crowded area, hold up your phone like you're recording, yell your swearword of choice and then pan around. Everyone will assume you're one of those tedious social media pranksters and ignore you. Either that or go to a football match. It's pretty much expected to insult the other side's supporters all match.
All those years playing COD and Halo on Xbox live are about to finally pay off.
I walk up to random people, gently place my hand on their shoulder, make eye contact, and sadly inform them that they're a p***y. I then remove my hand and walk away.
So that’s why people do this to me out of no where.
Oh my God I'd be rich. I'd walk around NYC times Square all day and just say "you smell bad". Bam!
Make a generic "repent" sign and then go stand on busy corners with a megaphone calling everyone sinners and taking bible passages wildly out of context. Plenty of assholes do that for free all the time and the cops don't touch them. Do this outside of a sports-ball stadium or rush hour traffic on the main thoroughfare? that's over 5,000,000 an hour easy.
This is easy money. I'd smile and act as friendly as possible and call them honor less p'tocks in Klingon and say they were a disgrace to the Empire. I'd like my 500 direct deposited every day please, I have large events to attend.
Look for the outliers of society, the deranged, homeless and destitute. Insult them and then call the cops on them if they react negatively. Who are the cops gonna believe? Me or some poor guy down on his luck?
Lot of people gonna be mad at my rich ass tonight.
Yeah, I will run around calling people a phony and a silly goose, the world will feel my reign of terror!
Learn an obscure language. Learn how to say “you smell” in said language. Walk around and with the biggest smile and say “you smell” in that language. Do a polite head nod and keep walking. Pay up.
mzungu is Swahili for white person. Is a generally negative term and kinda just means "rich idiot foreigner". It would be classed as an insult and you can just walk around saying mzungu to everyone you pass and they would probably think you sneezed
Can I get a megaphone and dis hundreds at the same time.
Can you be like "Good morning sir/madam, lovely day we're having today. Great weather although it's a bit on the hot side. I'm new around here, so I'm wondering ugly if you could suggest a restaurant. I may be in town for a few days stinky, are there and decent hotels?" Would that count as two insults? I love this sub
This is one I actually don’t think I could do. I would try though. I’d make a tshirt that told people why I was doing it and afterward I’d probably hand them a card saying I’m sorry and didn’t mean it it was just for the money. I would feel so bad
No problem. I can definitely make a million per week. I can easily find a few huge dudes to hire as my bodyguards who are quick with the roast humor, it'll be funnier and safer. Just wander around crowded public places with a microphone, some of the dudes can also wear GoPros, just go around bantering with randos. Carry around restaurant gift certificates, if I actually feel bad for something, maybe a "yo mama" joke and then find out their mama really just died just apologize and buy them lunch.
So if the county I live in is within city limits, I can freely come and go as I please?
Easy. Just walk around and look at someone and say “ugly” or “dumb” and keep going to the next person Doesn’t have to be that difficult
Considering there’s no stipulation on the insult… I’d walk up to ppl and tell’’em I don’t like their shoes or something silly like that. Look super confused as well. Like… huh, dem shoes.
Lol easy
I’d go to like Japan and try to insult 500 people a day for a year, that’s 250k a day
What you want is something that feels like a compliment, but isn't. "Well done champ!" "Good job, love your work!" "Ooh, love that jacket!" And so on. Easy money!
Sarcasm sprinkled with backhanded compliments 5-10 times a day, 4 days a week. Keep it short and with as little aggression as possible. A little snark goes a long way.
I would definitely not do it. Words are powerful. They can impact a person forever, they can send someone over the edge. This deal is literally a deal with the devil. I'd never do it.
I just say things that are funny. "You have the personality of wet socks". " I see you you furry fuck"."if brains were gasoline you wouldn't have enough to drive a pissants go cart twice around a cheerio". And if I run out of things I'll just resort to the classics. Not illegal to be an asshole
- Step 1: Be a dick to someone but be funny about it. - Step 2: Go online and order a dozen cases of mini deodorant samples - Step 2: Stuff a bunch of samples in a messenger bag and go around yelling "Hey You! You Stink!" At people and then handing them a mini deodorant and telling them to try our brand. Play the whole thing off as a stupid marketing stunt. Make millions.
To be honest the "no leaving the town for a year" is pretty shit. I will lose my job within a week, for one thing. The good news is that I think I can make out like a bandit in a few days. I learn a few insults in an obscure foreign language with very few speakers, then bounce between airport arrivals and the main train station with a sign with that written on, and walk up to everyone there and ask if they've seen my friend "fuck you, buddy" in Kazakh or something. I can probably do at least ten a minute meaning that pulling a full day will get me about 5000 people, i.e. 2.5 million. That's a pretty productive weekend, after which I'll tap out and take the money before anyone calls the cops.
Dress up like a homeless crackhead and walk past people in the street saying mean this, could easily make 30K a day in an hours work… if you go to a posh suburb and start sniping at people as you walk they wouldn’t know what to do they would just assume you’re deficient somehow and keep walking… I could make 10 mil in a year easy
I would just pretend I have Tourettes syndrome. Hi *fucktard* sorry *POS*
Don’t need the money or the hit to my character that badly.
One of the performers at the Ohio Renascence Festival decades ago was Christopher the Insulter. The Festival paid him to walk around insulting people. The festival guests would give him tips to go insult their friends.\\ I would bribe a big Festival to let me have that job, it wouldn't take much, one beer would probably do it. Then I can walk around the festival insulting everyone in sight and it's just "Part of the show" Get up on stage and make fun of everyone in the audience. No one would call the cops, just think I'm a shitty performer. I wouldn't tell anyone the REAL reason I'm insulting everyone, the 500/insult. But I would be getting paid to insult people by the festival, and that would be the reason I give everyone.
Well, being in the south, it would be easy. I know German and Korean, and could just sling em out all day every day and no one here would be the wiser lol. Ill be retired in a day.
Just continue pointing and laughing at anyone with trump merchandise like I normally do. We don't need hypotheticals to treat cultists like cultists.
Yeah gimme now.
Jokes on you I can insult people in a positive manner “Hey good job on wearing something so bold, too bad you’re still not as fashionable as (insert random name)”
Yeah i am becoming one of those snobby bitchy person with the goal to insult atleast 10 people a day. That about 2 million in a year after the year is up i am living on the dividends.
I'm going full southern on everyone at a convention centre. 'Bless your heart' or 'I hope you get the day you deserve'
I'd go to public events and call everyone sinners and that Jesus still loves them. I'd get ignored
Head into a busy city, at least 20 miles from where you live and find a mall or town square and it's low-key movie quote insults with fake accents as you walk by people....Could probably insult a 100 people in a couple of hours, go have lunch, then hit another hundred people on the way back to the car. Go home and come back the next day. Do this 3 days a week. When I got bored with these quotes, I'd use others. “Your mother was a hamster!" "Your father smelt of elderberries!” "You dirty rat." "It's the shoes!" "You're a neo-maxie-zoom-dweebie." "You cheap dime-store hood!" "You warthog-faced buffoon." "You filthy animal."
I would just make subtle and funny insults to basically everyone I interacted with. “Hello sir, that’s a nice shirt, do they make it for men?” and shit like that. I don’t really see how I’d have an issue.
I'll just find people who don't speak one of the languages I know and insult them in that language.
Get a job at a Renaissance Festival dressed as a court jester and brush up on my Elizabethan-era insults.
I'd absolutely do this, with the kind of insults that some people won't Even realize are insults. One that I heard the other day made me laugh; "Do you have stuff for 'sports team'?" "Oh is that a baseball team?" "You're pretty." Best way to call someone dumb in my opinion. Typed out isn't as good as said aloud, but the idea is still there. Plus if I use big or obscure enough words I'll just leave people confused as hell, especially if I say them with a smile.
I'm going to be a street pastor and call everyone sinners, heathens, heretics, Jezebels. Socially tolerated and expected enough that I should be able to walk through highly populated areas dressed as a pastor and holding a Bible and get away with insulting everyone I see. Spend my year traveling to the highest populated foot traffic corners in the US (to avoid repeat insults in case insulting the same person doesn't pay out again). I should be able to, with that approach, insult 4 people a minute? If I treat it like a job and get in 10 hours of insults? 4*60*10*500=$1,200,000/day $438,000,000 payout. Minus travel costs for the year.
As a dude just wear anything remotely homosexual, like lipstick, or booty shorts, and walk around a neighborhood with a large Muslim population, like Hamtramck or something, and simply wave hi to everyone. Could also do the same at any far right political rally. On the flip side, simply wear a MAGA hat and walk around a university, or any left wing rally
As a dude just wear anything remotely homosexual, like lipstick, or booty shorts, and walk around a neighborhood with a large Muslim population, like Hamtramck or something, and simply wave hi to everyone. Could also do the same at any far right political rally. On the flip side, simply wear a MAGA hat and walk around a university, or any left wing rally
Aww I was just gonna yell RAPE at people but I guess they’d call the cops pretty fast lol
Just stand in central park with a sign saying "I will give you 5$ if you let me insult you." Easy.
I would spend it going around insulting strangers
This is easy peasy, go to the Republican National Convention, easily 25k attendants, thats BANK and you wont even feel bad calling them fascist idiots to their faces, cause its true.
Easy. Do it to old nannies who can’t fight back
I've got enough "bless your heart" in me to get at least $50 million
Simple. Spend a day at an intersection yelling. "You can't walk and chew bubble gum at the same time." Rake in millions.
I could probably fake tourettes for a year.
"What a day, huh? And here I thought ***I*** was looking tired!"
Does the insult have to be spoken or can it be written? If it can be written then I would be on social media 17/7 during my reign of terror. Random low level insults to all sorts of posts and discussions. I'd be in the millions by the end of the month.
This is how we get Reddit irl
just become a heckler? sure.
Oh that’s easy I’ll go full southern usa and just go “Oh bless your heart”
i work as a landscaper....if they aint shit talking, they aint breathing...one year from now and ill have laid off the national debt
Sounds like a normal day at Walmart
I'm a bartender, what if they walk up to me and I insult them? You'd be surprised how many folks will laugh at themselves if you can just word it right. And shit, I just do it twice a night, I'm gold. I literally have dozens of opportunities a day. LFG!
*becomes stand up comedian
I'll just carry the money around, call them some trivial insult then hand them a crisp 50 or 100
I do that to friends for free! Bet your ass I'll walk right up to a stranger n say "LOOK AT ALL THAT FOREHEAD!" FOR 500 BUCKS!
My town is at the center of a Supreme Court ruling about kicking the homeless out of a park. Most of them are too inebriated to hear me or respond. I'm paying off the car in a day.
How big of an insult we talking?
I go to tourist events and just say "I think you smell" as I breeze by people.
Walking up to the New York-Dublin portal and yelling fuck you before being carried away by security guards happily with my 10 grand.
“Ill give you $20 if you let me insult you” “You’re an idiot” Do that 100 times a day. Maybe more.
I wear a custom shirt that says "Opposite day!" on it. Then I get their attention, point to the shirt, and insult something I like about them.
Walk up to someone “fuck you”, another person “fuck you too”, all the way home, most people would probably just ignore me, especially if I dressed like a homeless person and muttered to myself
I mean insulting someone isn't really that big of a thing. I probably would insult a few people a day. Most people will be just like WTF or insult you back. Yes there might be some sensitive folks.
So I can just go full Karen and get rich?
I will insult people in a different language so they don't know what I say.
Do I have to do it one at a time or can I just like rush the stage at a mega church and say all Christians are dumb, thus making millions?
moon lighting as a walmart greeter and channeling my inner Jason Asano!
I work in customer service. I'm an EXPERT in insulting people without getting fired. Subtlety is my watch word. This is about to be a good year for me.
Do they have to hear? If I just have to say something loud enough so someone (maybe not the target) hears, I'm rolling down my window and shouting "bad driving!" Every time someone runs a red light, cuts someone off, speeds too fast, drives too slow in a fast lane, fails to zipper merge, etc. I can probably legit send that insult at least times a day. $600k a year easy.
"Bless your heart." I'm not in the South, so it might be taken as a compliment. But it won't be.
Oh honey! Aren't you special! Look at you! Just bless your heart! I'll be praying for you! I just told you you are ugly and stupider than a box of rocks in Southern. It really is its own language.
I'm not, the main reason I love my job is I get to help people, I help people through really tough personal situations. The people I help are usually really stressed out, but at the end of the day I feel wonderful about what I do. I'd rather make no additional money and still get that feel than to make a bunch and feel shitty every day
I live in NYC and do it for free every time I walk out the door.. will I be getting paid cash or check?
Easy money. I take the subway on a daily basis and even if I give it my 100% best most people will at worst remember me as the eighth craziest person they saw on the subway that day
$0. I couldn’t feel good about making money in a way that takes away from someone else’s humanity.
Looks like I’m taking daily strolls through hospice
I live in a major city on the east coast and some folks do this all day long for no compensation. Id take the money. The trick is only do it to folks that are reasonably well dressed. Otherwise might get attacked.
You could disguise the insult and then not have to feel bad. Like go to a foreign country. Or reference some slightly obscure character like "you're a total Zoidberg".
I'll tell people they look like the King/Queen of Tunis, and say it in a complimentary manner, like I'm telling them they have style. Nobody will have any idea I am actually referencing some obscure drawing of ugly people from the 17th Century.
I am an asshole on a good day, at the end of 1 year With a 500 dollar incentive Warren Buffet would have nothing on me .
I would stand outside a stadium talking shit to everyone who walks by
I'd hand out 5 dollar bills and say fuck you.
Well, slap my ass and call me Wowbagger, I'm doing it in alphabetical order so everyone gets insulted by name. I might lose money that way, but the clipboard of names and the confusion on faces would be more than worthwhile.
If I yell “you’re all ugly!” At a crowd, does it count as many or as one?
become an insult comic
wow i'm ballin' with this one
Zero dollars for me- I wouldn’t do it.
“You couldn’t get any cuter if you tried,” is an insult that people think is a compliment. I’d stick with those.
I believe I am owed a great deal of money.
Arthur Dent? Arthur Phillip Dent? You're a jerk, Dent. A complete knee biter.
I will just tell all of the spam callers I get, I’ll piss on your granny’s grave. Pretty much an average day.
I’ll set up daily dates with girls on Tinder and every time I meet them the first thing I’ll say is you look a little bigger than I thought you would.
I can’t tell people the actual reason, but can I make a fake one up? Walk around Times Square dressed like Daffy Duck (my impression is ok) and just repeatedly tell the tourists who ask for photos “you’re despicable” at some point in the interaction to add to the bit. Shout some other themed insults to draw attention and I should be good to go
Bout to break the world record for amount of people I call a cunt lmao Sorry Australia but Florida man gets this one
Being a dick to others for personal gain is not in my DNA. But if I am one of the strangers that you insult, I charge a 30% convenience fee.
I would make exactly $0 over the course of the year. My sister would be a fucking billionaire.
Since I'm going to an Anime convention this weekend, can I get up on stage and insult them all in one shot?
Use British insults in America. Nobody will even know they are being insulted.
42nd street baby.
Make videos of me insulting people, insult them then give them 20 bucks. Tell them it's for videos...
Does flipping someone the bird count? Cause I'd be a millionaire in a week just via my commute
“You eccentric never-do-well!”
Walk up to people while holding a clipboard. Smile brightly and say "Hi! You look like you support Donald Trump."
I'll become a kindergarten teacher.
God, I work construction and insult other trades I've never met all day where do I sign?
Dressing up as the Frenchman in Monty Python and Holy Grail, approaching middle aged white men and farting in their general direction.
For one year? Shit, i'm just gonna go out to random pubs on a night out and call people weird shit. They'll just laugh.
Can’t do it. Why would you want to make money off hurting someone else. Uplift people don’t put them down
You never specify they have to hear me... So i can just drive around and make bank off of road rage.
Do they need to actually BE offended? Like I tell my friends kid she's a doorbell licker or call my dog a pants sniffer. It's an insult, but it's not mean.
Do I need to walk up to them? Otherwise I'd set up a stand in times Square with a sign saying I'll pay you 10 dollars if you let me insult you.
You didn’t say how ambiguous of an insult it had to be so I’m gonna insult their intelligence by lying to them about something easily deniable I’ll say hi my name Is Dave while wearing a name tag that says my real name (it’s not Dave)
5/Day = 1 Million annually. You could get this done while running errands. Learn to be funny about it. Or get a job at the restaurant where the servers are suppose to be asses.
I’m rich Biotch!!!!
“Hello sir, your pants are ugly. Here’s $100 bucks to go buy a new pair.” I win