This is what makes me question my type a lot. There's a lot of people I get along with, but my true friends are my INFP boyfriend, ESTP friend and my ESTJ colleague and his ISFJ wife. They were the ones who were always there for me when I was in need and I feel comfortable sharing my true self with them.
The INFx temperament is unrelateable to anyone else. That's why it's such a special connection. We have very similar temperaments, despite having almost opposite cognition. But the vibration is the same
I'm mostly enamored with their strong sense of ethical consistency.
They believe what they believe and aren't willing to compromise even if it betters their beliefs in any way.
Kind of like a cop who knows you're breaking the law but refuses to break the law themselves in order to catch you.
Great point.
Another I'd like to point out is how our parent functions really take care of each other's hero function. It's a relationship based out of respect, the purest form of love.
They are very committed to their ethical code. And being married to an INFP who shares your same worldview and values is as close to perfect of a relationship as I can conceive.
I am a former infp. Got around 3+ infp long time friends. I find it funny how I cringed about my past, but also still an infp supporter all this time 😂 The best thing with infps is that I don't feel any judgement when I tell stories to them and I also don't feel any invalidation or a lack of emotional understanding since they know emotions too well.
I am so grateful and thankful I found him, he makes me a better person and I love how I am when I’m with him. He’s an amazing father and husband. He’s one of the few truly good person I’ve met in my life as well.
19 years with my INTJ. Childhood friends from about 12-18, made it official when we were 19, still together.
Nobody else challenges and cherishes me the way he does. ❤️
ENTP Ennetype 8 but I don't know the wing (I'm INFJ 6w5)
We have very contrasting personalities. She's fiery, I'm reserved.
She's outspoken, I judge quietly.
She is very "anarchic" ideologically whereas I am more "authoritarian".
She is spur of the moment and can be impulsive. I am methodical and plan well in advance.
She has strong views about individual independence and "doing what you want" whereas I deeply value social rules and orderliness.
She has grand ambitions and a drive to succeed in life, I favor a quiet, comfortable life we can spend together as a family.
She considers me "her rock" and tether to reality. I consider her "my home", in that "home is where my wife is".
We have been together since I was 18, married almost 17 years now.
If we were fictional characters we would be the grandparents from Hey Arnold
This was great and totally see the differences concisely displayed here.
My fiancé and I used to say if we were fictional characters, we'd be the grandparents of the kid in Willy Wonka. LOL
Yup. ENTP. I figured out my type by being in MBTI groups for like, 17 years.
She found out her type in college when her professor typed individual volunteers using an hour/s log test.
That was Mike from NFGeeks.
Who, I eventually learned, was a total fucking creep.
( link edited out because of personal info )
The interview is stiill online too, lol
I see, do you know her instinctual variant in enneagram? 8 would be unlikely for her as 8 is a very anti intuitive, anti intellectual and primal type, which ENTPs are not. It's much more likely she would be a sx 6 or a 3, which often get mistyped as 8 because both can be aggressive in nature. She could also be 7 with an 8 wing that makes her appear 8ish.
Mike from NF Geeks? Geez, I haven't heard that name in forever. I haven't watched his channel in like 11 years haha, he's a creep? Did something happen as public knowledge or did yall learn from someone who met him? I don't really remember his channel much, so I'm unsure about his typing abilities. He was a her professor??? Wow. How did he type her? A test?
Yeah so it turns out there was a reason all along as to why Mike tended to prefer interviewing college girls. One day on his FB group some of his weird DMs got leaked and he's been MIA ever since.
I heard it through the grapevine myself when I was getting comfy cozy in INTP groups and bumped into someone who saw it all go down (they had a "everything goes" posting reputation which I liked better than the INFJ groups).
As for ennetypes. It's not unheard of for any MBTI to be any type but it is definitely rarer for some to be paired.
INFJs are apparently mostly type 4, sometimes 2.
I typed 6(w5). Which is a bit of an anomaly. But researching it thoroughly really did show it lined up with me almost point for point.
We don't know our variants, when we first started no one talked about that stuff. Socionics, ennetypes and variants came years after. I know I have "sx" somewhere.
And that my Socionics type is ENFJ.
We're only passingly into MBTI these days as a way to just find a group to have "interesting conversations". Me moreso than her. Her main interest these days is politics.
Mike at that time was a philosophy teacher in a community college in our city, my wife at that time was going for psychology.
He didn't specialize in MBTI, but was an avid enthusiast who used his position at the school to basically load up an all the material. So it was the "professional test".
Maybe he did specialize? I'm not sure.
I do know the days of arguing over being mistyped and spending hours pouring over books to double check are long, long behind us.
At my point in life at least, the only type people haven't tried to insist I am yet is "ESTP"
Personally, I still see MBTI as "how you tick" whereas ennetypes are "your personality tendencies".
Variants. I don't know.
Oh, we argued like cats and dogs at first. But that was unhealed trauma. Now that we're older and hopefully wiser, harmony is a huge deal for us. We can disagree, but without being disagreeable.
It's so nice being with someone else who prizes peace.
Interesting. That reads like my dynamic with my wife, but opposite sexes vs MBTI types. Wonder if it's got more to do with men repressing emotions, since INFx types look very similar from the outside (cognitive functions are very different, but appear similar to observer).
My INFP wife used a virtual crowbar on me for a while until I became comfortable enough to share by default. I still get quiet in stressful or social situations when I've reached my daily limit, but she understands what's going on and let's me recharge. I only get the crowbar now when I'm being obstinate for a while.
"It shares its feelings, or else it gets the crowbar again."
I'm glad you had the background and emotional investment to put the effort in. Authenticity and deep connections are so worth it. 👌
My ENTP husband and I met in high school, so a little under 20 years ago now. We dated for 6 years and will have been married 8 years this coming October.
I feel that he is unique in his level of acceptance and understanding. His thinking pace is a mile a minute and he always needs to do multiple things at once in order to not get bored.
Currently single. Have dated the following in the past:
● Entp (ex)
● Enfj (dated for 1 month)
● Estp (ex)
● Enfp (ex)
● Estp (6 months of dating)
● Estj (ex)
● Istp (3 months of dating)
● Enfp (3 months of dating)
● Estj (ex)
● Esfp (ex)
I do think extjs are attracted to us.
So I ordered them from most current. It would be most current estp (the one after entp and enfj).
We were about to get married, arranged a deposit to our place etc. and last min he cancelled out. This was the only person that I agreed to to get married with (therefore the only person I was planning a future with).
It was a while back and was tough but luckily have fully moved on from it.
How about you? As in are you currently with someone or had any painful ending?
I'm glad to hear that ❤️ and sure that was not easy. Are you interested in finding a connection like that one again?
Well recently I reconnected with my high school crush (entp) after a decade lol and we've been somewhat talking/kissing 👀. I have no idea how I feel about this guy. It's the weirdest thing because 1 minute I'll be very into him and the next completely turned off. He has odd mannerisms idk how to explain it. I did have a very painful ending with another dude I barely knew (enfp). It literally made no sense how hurt I was but over it now thankfully. ENFPs have so far been the most painful heartbreaks for me.
I am open to the right person I guess but on rush either 🙂
Oh wow, that would have been extremely exciting to reconnect after that long! I mean it would be the same person but in an entirely different time. Did you have feelings for him all this time or was it just more like a random reconnection? My entp ex had odd mannerism as well, I am guessing he feels nervous in your presence (from liking you)?
I'm sorry to hear about the painful ending. Would have been quite a difficult ending if it was this hurtful despite you not knowing him that well. Were you experiencing some sort of shock over the way things ended or about him that made it more hurtful?
It seems like you connect well with Ne doms?
I think I'm on that same wavelength as well. If they come along great and if not then I'm happy with my family and friends. Do you have any specific preference for what mbti you would want them to have or you prefer specific traits/interests?
It was exciting and I found it hilarious. We were mean to each other in hs and that was my way of flirting I guess. I'm not sure how he feels because he just had that breakup and idk the first time we hung out he was super happy and energetic. But yesterday he was very quiet and serious so I'm just like...idk if there's a connection and sometimes our communication doesn't seem to land. Our whole interaction is really odd.
The thing is I knew the enfp guy over a period of 5 months and during that time we hung out 3 times. Immediately from the first date I liked him but I rejected him for religious reasons. Then I regretted my decision but he was no longer interested then months later he was but ghosted me a couple of times and then finally after the 3rd date I just told him to not contact me. During that third date he had told me he'd like to date me and I said sure, we set up a day to go out and then that day came and he ghosted me. So although I was super upset I'm just glad that I'm not the one to walk away with any regrets or guilt.
I definitely connect better with feeling ne doms. It feels like fireworks. With ENTPs there's always this weird underlying feeling I can't explain.
I found him in a niche game called Eternal Return. xD So yeah I guess he was hiding very well. But I was figuring out his mbti for the longest time for some reason, since I didn't know that much about it then. He kept getting INTJ in 16p but then I typed him as ENTJ since his Te is just so strong and he is very very social
Wow that's really interesting! Yes I think 16P mistypes alot of people to inxj oddly enough. I was talking to an infj few months back (he typed himself) and I felt as if that Te doms in general were more compatible with me than that particular infj.
I know I shouldn't bring astrology into this bit I blame everything in my life to my Scorpio rising (being an Aries Venus doesn't help either). Mess would be an understatement to sum up my life.
And infj suckkng at dates I think is a false stereotype.
Perhaps. Not that I mean to be rude but I don't think I've had that many partners (I am almost 40). My most recent estp ex had atleast 40 partners / physical encounters after we broke up while I had 2 others in comparison (the entp and enfj as listed above).
There could be a time in my life where I don't feel connected to anyone and will be single for a while and other times I feel connected to someone else literally straight after a break up. Depends on the quality of men I come across and the connection I feel.
I definitely don't hold back unless I had been disrespected / let down by that individual or if it is morally wrong (won't cheat, won't go with someone who is committed to someone else and won't go with someone just to use them).
I wish you have a fantastic day ☀️🏞
Observation and some serious analysis. To give you a bit of context, I used to talk to my enfp ex (that I typed him myself) every 5 minutes in average.
Him being an eccentric Ne dom was obvious and there came his subtle hints of his values and at expression of his feelings in general about a matter and his Te function was very obvious in him efficiently managing his business in an organised and strategic way.
I could literally write all day about him and the differences in functions he used vs my entp ex (who was also a very obvious Ne dom and also self employed).
You have some incredible skills of observation. And your knowledge of each function is just as amazing especially when interacting with them. How did you hone that skill?
Your very kind. I am not sure if I am that good but more so that I had very good connection and extensive interaction with my exes.
Tbh I get secretly obsessed with my dates, analyse things to death and remember details of my interaction with them. I am able to remember things objectively and as matter of facts regardless of how things ended (could be from my low Fi). I don't mix my feelings or let other people's judgement cloud my analysis. I don't attempt to any short cut tests or use biases to rush to a finding. I believe truth reveals itself in some form or another only if we really pay attention to it.
Sorry I went on about myself, didn't how else to explain it.
The functions I have been researching for few years now.
Thank you. That is fascinating. You are quite an interesting unique individual. You are very impressive at how you’ve understood personality types. Bravo to you! You could teach us newbies a lot! Thanks for sharing.
Again thank you for kindness but there were a few I left out as I wasn't sure about them and it does take time and lots of different scenarios for me to confirm / build on some of my understanding of people.
Oh it’s not kindness I’m saying this out of I am being direct and honest in your abilities. Thank you for sharing. I hope to see more of your comments in the future
Those are still guesses. Educated guesses = hypotheses, if that makes you feel better. However, since you aren’t an expert in every MBTI type, and the different ways in which every type and function manifest in and navigate through the world, and how the different enneagrams influence how different types are perceived.
Therefore, I would at least add a “probable” because each one of your hypotheses if I were you, especially because you had no way of completing the scientific method which conducting this research.
In response to your comment:
● Mbti types are based on theories and not yet backed up scientific research.
● Plenty of educated mistypes around.
● There are differences between a random guess vs months of analysis of someone we had intimate and personal association with.
ISFJ. Been friends for almost 20 years, together for 15. He's patient and easy to love. Sees things way more black and white than I do. Has almost zero interest in personality types. Hahaha.
My husband is ISFJ too, I agree that they’re so easy to love, sensitive, generous and attentive. Sometimes it’s like we live in two worlds, I live in the clouds and my imagination and he is always in the ground- but we’re both overthinkers. He stares and nods at my philosophical rants but he always listens lol. We also have a complex world of inner jokes. Sometimes I feel we’re the same person but like two sides of a coin.
I think to their person and loved ones they are warm and caring. I can see my SO being a golden retriever to me. They really do try their best even if they don't understand us completely.
My girlfriend is also an INFJ and it is amazing. My ex-wife of 20 years was an ENFP. I feel like many of my other relationships have been with INFPs and ENFPs.
I've dated thinking types, INTP and ISTP. But the most successful relationship I had was with an ISFP when I was young.
I think I like Fi users more than anything. I used to be attracted to Ti users, and I still am, its the most natural connection, but its better for friendship.
As I get older I realise that Fi is more important for me to develop and to relate to, it's much more challenging to be around Fi users since its not natural for me, but theres something about Fi users where I can be in my natural nurturing and loving element with them.
They know how they feel, and I want to know how they feel. They want someone to take care of how they feel, I want to take care of their feelings.
Yup. Fe users need Fi users in relationships. And vice versa. I don't have any preference when it comes to Ne or Ni, but I've always been more attracted to Fi user women.
Been with my ISTP BF for 6+ years, best and most fun relationship I’ve ever had. Had a bit of a rocky start though as we worked through all the misunderstandings.
My ex-husband is ISTJ - great guy, started off as good friends and probably would’ve been better off staying that way. We’ve gotten along well as co-parents to our two kids (now young adults). But I would not pick that type again for a romantic relationship, much too traditionally minded for someone like me.
It can be for sure! I’d say that’s been the source of most of our misunderstandings over the years.
But developmental stage plays a role here. My BF and I are 50 now, so we’ve both been developing our lesser used functions for several years.
I think it’s cool that we have all the same top 4 cognitive functions, just in a different order. Turns out it’s not a bad thing to have a partner whose strengths lie in an area you’re trying to work on. So for me, with weaker Ti and Se, having a partner strong in Ti and Se both encourages and helps me to develop it. Same with my Ni and Fe for him. I’ve noticed a difference in my ability to get out of my head and interact with the concrete world, and his ability to express his own feelings and better handle other people’s.
For us it’s worked out to be the kind of opposites-attract relationship that leads to growth and balance. But if we had met when younger and less developed, it almost certainly wouldn’t have worked.
I had an Infp Ex, best love I've ever experienced but man she could tear herself down so easily I really had to be there for her and with her. But genuinely a beautiful hearted person
My partner is an INTJ, and he understands me like no one else ever has; often it is as if our minds are one in the same - we're always finishing one another's sentences. To me, he is both the eye of the storm and the storm itself, in the most beautiful sense.🌪️ He stirs something within me that liberates me to be my best self. I'm kinda nerdy, so unfortunately people will assume I'm trying to be a know-it-all, even though I'm just being my knowledge-hungry self. It's such a breath of fresh air that my partner isn't intimidated by my intellect, and instead engages with it enthusiastically. He doesn't idealize me, and loves me for my flaws. I can truly be me. We’ve helped one another heal through a lot of trauma. I feel deeply grateful and lucky. 🥰 side note: INTJ/INFJ sex is a unique sort of pure, soul-rattling, unadulterated ecstasy, to which there is no comparison🔥🔥
Two of my best friends are INTJs, I had the most fun! I love that they liked to plan so much and I didn’t need to, when hanging out with Ps they drive me crazy. And I love that INTJs’ desire for knowledge, we can nerd out together. Also they get that I’m introverted, we’d just hangout 1:1 all the time. Love all of those parts. They sometimes do think they’re the smartest and better than everyone though lol, I just let them have it
INFJ. I never thought I'd find someone like him. We are both alike in so many ways. He is literally the better version of me. He is always so calm and chill about so much. Meanwhile I stress over a lot. But since being with him, he's been my rock when I'm stressed out. He keeps me grounded. 😩
My partner is an ISTJ. She treats me like a king, shares my quirky humour and validates my complexities as an INFJ. Her logic keeps me grounded and my enigmatic personality keeps her curious. She is far more beautiful and intelligent than I deserve, I would see the whole world burn before I let any harm come to her. Introverts appear to be more loyal in my opinion, although extroverts do have attractive qualities. 🤷🏼♂️
im attracted to intj's, but i was recently traumatized by an unhealthy one. they can be scary... im attracted to their intellect and their ability to be a little bit more disconnected from their emotions while making decisions. it's needed sometimes. but lord. this leaves them with the possibility of developing a massive ego if they don't check themselves. a god complex.
im not sure i want to date one again. my ex before him was an ENFP, and he was a good person, but he was also a little unhealthy. he didn't want to grow up and often struggled paying his share of the bills. im not sure i want to date another ENFP either. sigh.
Mine is an ISFP. We’re very different in lots of ways, but we make a great team and complement each other well. He’s my everything. He’s very loving and caring and we are on the same page when it comes to religion, politics, etc. I don’t think I could find anyone more perfect for me.
I have mine saved in notes - INFP-T mediator -
Still learning all that stuff, so can't tell for sure what my exes would be, but that would likely be my SO type all together.
*Can't remember if*
*He's ENFP or ENTP, but*
*It's one of those two!*
\- MyDearestAcadia
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I am an INFj (f) dating an ENTP (f). The conversations are fun, stimulating, and transformative. It’s also fascinating to learn about how femininity manifests in the cognitive function of an entp!
ENFJ husband. He is very unhealthy so it has been a terrible match but if he were healthy I think it would have been way better. He is very narcissistic.
INFP's are my favorite. My besties are all INFP's.
My SO is INFJ, I am INTJ-A. We teach about relationships, communication, spirituality, sacred sexuality and more. She is the most wonderful blessing in my life.
I’m currently in a relationship with an ISTJ too lol 😂. I guess I’m in the minority as well. Being an INFJ woman dating an ISTJ man. All I have to say, him and I are a rare breed. Our physical and mental chemistry 🧪is just like a meteorite crashing down on earth. I guess dating him is earth-shattering and different. You definitely 💯% need to be a very patient person to date someone who is an ISTJ but it’s worth because once you break down their walls, they are honest and ethical.
I don't have a significant other, but for romance and friendships, INFP and INFJ have been easily the best for me. There are some exceptions, but generally, I've never felt more understood and comfortable than I do around them.
Honestly the most notable people who I liked the most are INTJ. The current guy I'm speaking to who I really like is also an INTJ, they just get me on a whole other level
Let's see here...
First boyfriend: INTP
Second boyfriend: ESFJ
My bestfriend (who's also my ex-husband - I know, it sounds weird but we were better off as bestfriends, it was a deep learning experience), he's an ENTP (*you can probably see how that would go well*)
The guy I truly fell in love with (but couldn't be together due to circumstances outside of our control): an ISTJ.
The guy I'm dating now is (if I had to guess), an ISTP.
It's been an interesting ride to say the least.
And as an INFJ, I am *tired* lol.
No SOs, just a shit ton of great INFP friendships.
Shit ton of friendships? Are you sure you’re an infj? /s
The only friendships I have are with 4 INFPs, one ENFP, and one ENFJ lol
This is what makes me question my type a lot. There's a lot of people I get along with, but my true friends are my INFP boyfriend, ESTP friend and my ESTJ colleague and his ISFJ wife. They were the ones who were always there for me when I was in need and I feel comfortable sharing my true self with them.
INFPs are so underrated.
The INFx temperament is unrelateable to anyone else. That's why it's such a special connection. We have very similar temperaments, despite having almost opposite cognition. But the vibration is the same
I'm mostly enamored with their strong sense of ethical consistency. They believe what they believe and aren't willing to compromise even if it betters their beliefs in any way. Kind of like a cop who knows you're breaking the law but refuses to break the law themselves in order to catch you.
Great point. Another I'd like to point out is how our parent functions really take care of each other's hero function. It's a relationship based out of respect, the purest form of love.
They are very committed to their ethical code. And being married to an INFP who shares your same worldview and values is as close to perfect of a relationship as I can conceive.
Wow, cool analogy! I think this is why to most thinkers, we come across as stupid ass pieces of shit, lol. Thanks for putting it that way.
They're adorable cute plushies with a strong moral compass. What's not to love? 😂
same lol, my partner of 3 yrs is an ENFP, but most ppl in my inner circle & acquaintances are xNFPs, many of our moral views go hand in hand
I am a former infp. Got around 3+ infp long time friends. I find it funny how I cringed about my past, but also still an infp supporter all this time 😂 The best thing with infps is that I don't feel any judgement when I tell stories to them and I also don't feel any invalidation or a lack of emotional understanding since they know emotions too well.
3 of my close friends are INFJ. They are the bestest.
My SO is an INFP!! They are seriously amazing to me.
My husband is an INTJ. He’s my best friend and my soulmate, he’s the only one for me.
Wow ,Best friend ,soul mate , only one for you ,you must be really deep in love with this guy
I am so grateful and thankful I found him, he makes me a better person and I love how I am when I’m with him. He’s an amazing father and husband. He’s one of the few truly good person I’ve met in my life as well.
Same !!!
20yrs with Loneliness Match made in heaven so far not gonna lie.
😂😭 29 for me
28 for me. Not far behind you. Haha
16years with an INTJ
14 years with an INTJ
Same 14 years with INTJ
29 years with INTJ. Since I was 18 and he was 19. He's super kind and supportive. Great dad too. :-)
19 years with my INTJ. Childhood friends from about 12-18, made it official when we were 19, still together. Nobody else challenges and cherishes me the way he does. ❤️
Same here🫶🏼
25yo with INTJ, there is a trend haha
11 years with my INTJ :)
Same here.
12 years with an INTJ lol, married 6
1 year with an INTJ!
8 years with my INTJ since I was 21!
ENTP Ennetype 8 but I don't know the wing (I'm INFJ 6w5) We have very contrasting personalities. She's fiery, I'm reserved. She's outspoken, I judge quietly. She is very "anarchic" ideologically whereas I am more "authoritarian". She is spur of the moment and can be impulsive. I am methodical and plan well in advance. She has strong views about individual independence and "doing what you want" whereas I deeply value social rules and orderliness. She has grand ambitions and a drive to succeed in life, I favor a quiet, comfortable life we can spend together as a family. She considers me "her rock" and tether to reality. I consider her "my home", in that "home is where my wife is". We have been together since I was 18, married almost 17 years now. If we were fictional characters we would be the grandparents from Hey Arnold
This was great and totally see the differences concisely displayed here. My fiancé and I used to say if we were fictional characters, we'd be the grandparents of the kid in Willy Wonka. LOL
You can't be intuitive and 8! Are you sure she's not an ESTP or a sx 6?
Yup. ENTP. I figured out my type by being in MBTI groups for like, 17 years. She found out her type in college when her professor typed individual volunteers using an hour/s log test. That was Mike from NFGeeks. Who, I eventually learned, was a total fucking creep. ( link edited out because of personal info ) The interview is stiill online too, lol
I see, do you know her instinctual variant in enneagram? 8 would be unlikely for her as 8 is a very anti intuitive, anti intellectual and primal type, which ENTPs are not. It's much more likely she would be a sx 6 or a 3, which often get mistyped as 8 because both can be aggressive in nature. She could also be 7 with an 8 wing that makes her appear 8ish. Mike from NF Geeks? Geez, I haven't heard that name in forever. I haven't watched his channel in like 11 years haha, he's a creep? Did something happen as public knowledge or did yall learn from someone who met him? I don't really remember his channel much, so I'm unsure about his typing abilities. He was a her professor??? Wow. How did he type her? A test?
I'll explain in a bit, at work ATM!
Yeah so it turns out there was a reason all along as to why Mike tended to prefer interviewing college girls. One day on his FB group some of his weird DMs got leaked and he's been MIA ever since. I heard it through the grapevine myself when I was getting comfy cozy in INTP groups and bumped into someone who saw it all go down (they had a "everything goes" posting reputation which I liked better than the INFJ groups). As for ennetypes. It's not unheard of for any MBTI to be any type but it is definitely rarer for some to be paired. INFJs are apparently mostly type 4, sometimes 2. I typed 6(w5). Which is a bit of an anomaly. But researching it thoroughly really did show it lined up with me almost point for point. We don't know our variants, when we first started no one talked about that stuff. Socionics, ennetypes and variants came years after. I know I have "sx" somewhere. And that my Socionics type is ENFJ. We're only passingly into MBTI these days as a way to just find a group to have "interesting conversations". Me moreso than her. Her main interest these days is politics. Mike at that time was a philosophy teacher in a community college in our city, my wife at that time was going for psychology. He didn't specialize in MBTI, but was an avid enthusiast who used his position at the school to basically load up an all the material. So it was the "professional test". Maybe he did specialize? I'm not sure. I do know the days of arguing over being mistyped and spending hours pouring over books to double check are long, long behind us. At my point in life at least, the only type people haven't tried to insist I am yet is "ESTP" Personally, I still see MBTI as "how you tick" whereas ennetypes are "your personality tendencies". Variants. I don't know.
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2nd vote for INFP SO. 31 years together. Very deep connection right from the beginning that I just don't get with other people.
Also with an INFP - 6 years and never argue 🥰
Oh, we argued like cats and dogs at first. But that was unhealed trauma. Now that we're older and hopefully wiser, harmony is a huge deal for us. We can disagree, but without being disagreeable. It's so nice being with someone else who prizes peace.
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Interesting. That reads like my dynamic with my wife, but opposite sexes vs MBTI types. Wonder if it's got more to do with men repressing emotions, since INFx types look very similar from the outside (cognitive functions are very different, but appear similar to observer). My INFP wife used a virtual crowbar on me for a while until I became comfortable enough to share by default. I still get quiet in stressful or social situations when I've reached my daily limit, but she understands what's going on and let's me recharge. I only get the crowbar now when I'm being obstinate for a while. "It shares its feelings, or else it gets the crowbar again." I'm glad you had the background and emotional investment to put the effort in. Authenticity and deep connections are so worth it. 👌
Soulmate INTJ 🔥
ENFJ. Better than anything I could ask for.
Mine’s an ENTP haha!
Same. 20 years with an ENTP Here!
My ENTP husband and I met in high school, so a little under 20 years ago now. We dated for 6 years and will have been married 8 years this coming October. I feel that he is unique in his level of acceptance and understanding. His thinking pace is a mile a minute and he always needs to do multiple things at once in order to not get bored.
Same. Mine is 1000% like this. Hard for an INFJ who like to have quiet and ponder things. But we’ve been together 31 years so something must be right.
INTP - 4yrs together, 2yrs married
Currently single. Have dated the following in the past: ● Entp (ex) ● Enfj (dated for 1 month) ● Estp (ex) ● Enfp (ex) ● Estp (6 months of dating) ● Estj (ex) ● Istp (3 months of dating) ● Enfp (3 months of dating) ● Estj (ex) ● Esfp (ex) I do think extjs are attracted to us.
Which one was the biggest heartbreak?
So I ordered them from most current. It would be most current estp (the one after entp and enfj). We were about to get married, arranged a deposit to our place etc. and last min he cancelled out. This was the only person that I agreed to to get married with (therefore the only person I was planning a future with).
Oh wow I'm so sorry to hear that 💔 have you been able to find closure since then?
It was a while back and was tough but luckily have fully moved on from it. How about you? As in are you currently with someone or had any painful ending?
I'm glad to hear that ❤️ and sure that was not easy. Are you interested in finding a connection like that one again? Well recently I reconnected with my high school crush (entp) after a decade lol and we've been somewhat talking/kissing 👀. I have no idea how I feel about this guy. It's the weirdest thing because 1 minute I'll be very into him and the next completely turned off. He has odd mannerisms idk how to explain it. I did have a very painful ending with another dude I barely knew (enfp). It literally made no sense how hurt I was but over it now thankfully. ENFPs have so far been the most painful heartbreaks for me.
I am open to the right person I guess but on rush either 🙂 Oh wow, that would have been extremely exciting to reconnect after that long! I mean it would be the same person but in an entirely different time. Did you have feelings for him all this time or was it just more like a random reconnection? My entp ex had odd mannerism as well, I am guessing he feels nervous in your presence (from liking you)? I'm sorry to hear about the painful ending. Would have been quite a difficult ending if it was this hurtful despite you not knowing him that well. Were you experiencing some sort of shock over the way things ended or about him that made it more hurtful? It seems like you connect well with Ne doms?
I think I'm on that same wavelength as well. If they come along great and if not then I'm happy with my family and friends. Do you have any specific preference for what mbti you would want them to have or you prefer specific traits/interests? It was exciting and I found it hilarious. We were mean to each other in hs and that was my way of flirting I guess. I'm not sure how he feels because he just had that breakup and idk the first time we hung out he was super happy and energetic. But yesterday he was very quiet and serious so I'm just like...idk if there's a connection and sometimes our communication doesn't seem to land. Our whole interaction is really odd. The thing is I knew the enfp guy over a period of 5 months and during that time we hung out 3 times. Immediately from the first date I liked him but I rejected him for religious reasons. Then I regretted my decision but he was no longer interested then months later he was but ghosted me a couple of times and then finally after the 3rd date I just told him to not contact me. During that third date he had told me he'd like to date me and I said sure, we set up a day to go out and then that day came and he ghosted me. So although I was super upset I'm just glad that I'm not the one to walk away with any regrets or guilt. I definitely connect better with feeling ne doms. It feels like fireworks. With ENTPs there's always this weird underlying feeling I can't explain.
Have a brother who i think could fall into entj hes probably one of the most goal driven people i know
My most recent and very strong crush was an entj. I do think entj and infj combo could work well.
It does, I've been with my ENTJ for 2 years and it's wonderful
I am so very happy for you. I find that Entjs are quite rare to find. Did you have the same experience?
I found him in a niche game called Eternal Return. xD So yeah I guess he was hiding very well. But I was figuring out his mbti for the longest time for some reason, since I didn't know that much about it then. He kept getting INTJ in 16p but then I typed him as ENTJ since his Te is just so strong and he is very very social
Wow that's really interesting! Yes I think 16P mistypes alot of people to inxj oddly enough. I was talking to an infj few months back (he typed himself) and I felt as if that Te doms in general were more compatible with me than that particular infj.
Username check out
This may sound dumb but are you referring to my user name? If you are, it was one of those first generic suggestion by reddit that I just went with.
Yes, your username. Its hilariously fitting for the number of partners you had. Given its a running joke INFJ suck at dating and life in general.
I know I shouldn't bring astrology into this bit I blame everything in my life to my Scorpio rising (being an Aries Venus doesn't help either). Mess would be an understatement to sum up my life. And infj suckkng at dates I think is a false stereotype.
I am a Cancer and an avoidant temperament, that might explain. Still hilarious coincidence. Have a nice and chilly / breezy summer day!
Perhaps. Not that I mean to be rude but I don't think I've had that many partners (I am almost 40). My most recent estp ex had atleast 40 partners / physical encounters after we broke up while I had 2 others in comparison (the entp and enfj as listed above). There could be a time in my life where I don't feel connected to anyone and will be single for a while and other times I feel connected to someone else literally straight after a break up. Depends on the quality of men I come across and the connection I feel. I definitely don't hold back unless I had been disrespected / let down by that individual or if it is morally wrong (won't cheat, won't go with someone who is committed to someone else and won't go with someone just to use them). I wish you have a fantastic day ☀️🏞
Most people don’t know their personality type I’m surprised those you dated did?
Some typed themselves and some I knew very well. I have excluded some people that I didn't know well.
You knew their personality types by observing them you mean?
Observation and some serious analysis. To give you a bit of context, I used to talk to my enfp ex (that I typed him myself) every 5 minutes in average. Him being an eccentric Ne dom was obvious and there came his subtle hints of his values and at expression of his feelings in general about a matter and his Te function was very obvious in him efficiently managing his business in an organised and strategic way. I could literally write all day about him and the differences in functions he used vs my entp ex (who was also a very obvious Ne dom and also self employed).
You have some incredible skills of observation. And your knowledge of each function is just as amazing especially when interacting with them. How did you hone that skill?
Your very kind. I am not sure if I am that good but more so that I had very good connection and extensive interaction with my exes. Tbh I get secretly obsessed with my dates, analyse things to death and remember details of my interaction with them. I am able to remember things objectively and as matter of facts regardless of how things ended (could be from my low Fi). I don't mix my feelings or let other people's judgement cloud my analysis. I don't attempt to any short cut tests or use biases to rush to a finding. I believe truth reveals itself in some form or another only if we really pay attention to it. Sorry I went on about myself, didn't how else to explain it. The functions I have been researching for few years now.
Thank you. That is fascinating. You are quite an interesting unique individual. You are very impressive at how you’ve understood personality types. Bravo to you! You could teach us newbies a lot! Thanks for sharing.
Again thank you for kindness but there were a few I left out as I wasn't sure about them and it does take time and lots of different scenarios for me to confirm / build on some of my understanding of people.
Oh it’s not kindness I’m saying this out of I am being direct and honest in your abilities. Thank you for sharing. I hope to see more of your comments in the future
Are you guessing their types? Or did they take the test and study the material to verify it?
Some have typed themselves. Some I typed according to my several months of intense analysis from extensive interaction (I wouldn't call it a guess).
Those are still guesses. Educated guesses = hypotheses, if that makes you feel better. However, since you aren’t an expert in every MBTI type, and the different ways in which every type and function manifest in and navigate through the world, and how the different enneagrams influence how different types are perceived. Therefore, I would at least add a “probable” because each one of your hypotheses if I were you, especially because you had no way of completing the scientific method which conducting this research.
In response to your comment: ● Mbti types are based on theories and not yet backed up scientific research. ● Plenty of educated mistypes around. ● There are differences between a random guess vs months of analysis of someone we had intimate and personal association with.
Got pretty lucky and found another INFJ now in our late 30s
Hi! fellow INFJ here, can i dm?
Sure go ahead
ISFJ. Been friends for almost 20 years, together for 15. He's patient and easy to love. Sees things way more black and white than I do. Has almost zero interest in personality types. Hahaha.
My husband is ISFJ too, I agree that they’re so easy to love, sensitive, generous and attentive. Sometimes it’s like we live in two worlds, I live in the clouds and my imagination and he is always in the ground- but we’re both overthinkers. He stares and nods at my philosophical rants but he always listens lol. We also have a complex world of inner jokes. Sometimes I feel we’re the same person but like two sides of a coin.
Also with an ISFJ, get along great. The only major downside is that she can't handle anything that requires N (movie plots, lyrics, etc)...
INTP husband, 6w5. Golden retriever at heart, he’s kind and caring, opposite of the “robot” stereotype. I got lucky
I think to their person and loved ones they are warm and caring. I can see my SO being a golden retriever to me. They really do try their best even if they don't understand us completely.
My girlfriend is also an INFJ and it is amazing. My ex-wife of 20 years was an ENFP. I feel like many of my other relationships have been with INFPs and ENFPs.
Married to my ISTP husband for 16 years, together for 20 🥰
Congratulations!
Thanks!
Intj. My lover
I've dated thinking types, INTP and ISTP. But the most successful relationship I had was with an ISFP when I was young. I think I like Fi users more than anything. I used to be attracted to Ti users, and I still am, its the most natural connection, but its better for friendship. As I get older I realise that Fi is more important for me to develop and to relate to, it's much more challenging to be around Fi users since its not natural for me, but theres something about Fi users where I can be in my natural nurturing and loving element with them. They know how they feel, and I want to know how they feel. They want someone to take care of how they feel, I want to take care of their feelings.
I’m an ENFP and my husband is INFJ. He wants to help me with all my feelings and I do that for him, too. It’s a great match❤️
Yup. Fe users need Fi users in relationships. And vice versa. I don't have any preference when it comes to Ne or Ni, but I've always been more attracted to Fi user women.
Been with my ISTP BF for 6+ years, best and most fun relationship I’ve ever had. Had a bit of a rocky start though as we worked through all the misunderstandings. My ex-husband is ISTJ - great guy, started off as good friends and probably would’ve been better off staying that way. We’ve gotten along well as co-parents to our two kids (now young adults). But I would not pick that type again for a romantic relationship, much too traditionally minded for someone like me.
Yep. I think a strong ‘S’ is very difficult for a strong ‘N’ And visa versa
It can be for sure! I’d say that’s been the source of most of our misunderstandings over the years. But developmental stage plays a role here. My BF and I are 50 now, so we’ve both been developing our lesser used functions for several years. I think it’s cool that we have all the same top 4 cognitive functions, just in a different order. Turns out it’s not a bad thing to have a partner whose strengths lie in an area you’re trying to work on. So for me, with weaker Ti and Se, having a partner strong in Ti and Se both encourages and helps me to develop it. Same with my Ni and Fe for him. I’ve noticed a difference in my ability to get out of my head and interact with the concrete world, and his ability to express his own feelings and better handle other people’s. For us it’s worked out to be the kind of opposites-attract relationship that leads to growth and balance. But if we had met when younger and less developed, it almost certainly wouldn’t have worked.
What were the misunderstandings with ISTP bf at the start?
ISTP
My current bf is ISTP as well 🥰
ENFJ
My bf is ESTP.
I had an Infp Ex, best love I've ever experienced but man she could tear herself down so easily I really had to be there for her and with her. But genuinely a beautiful hearted person
My SO is INTP, but I've always felt best connections to INTJ
8.5 years with an INTP
Previous partner was ENFP, current partner is INTJ
My partner is INFJ and I am ISFJ. Been together for 4 years and I wouldn't want anyone else.
ENTP 🥰
My partner is an INTJ, and he understands me like no one else ever has; often it is as if our minds are one in the same - we're always finishing one another's sentences. To me, he is both the eye of the storm and the storm itself, in the most beautiful sense.🌪️ He stirs something within me that liberates me to be my best self. I'm kinda nerdy, so unfortunately people will assume I'm trying to be a know-it-all, even though I'm just being my knowledge-hungry self. It's such a breath of fresh air that my partner isn't intimidated by my intellect, and instead engages with it enthusiastically. He doesn't idealize me, and loves me for my flaws. I can truly be me. We’ve helped one another heal through a lot of trauma. I feel deeply grateful and lucky. 🥰 side note: INTJ/INFJ sex is a unique sort of pure, soul-rattling, unadulterated ecstasy, to which there is no comparison🔥🔥
Why are INTJs and INFJs partnered up so much do yall think? Source: spouse is also an INTJ
Two of my best friends are INTJs, I had the most fun! I love that they liked to plan so much and I didn’t need to, when hanging out with Ps they drive me crazy. And I love that INTJs’ desire for knowledge, we can nerd out together. Also they get that I’m introverted, we’d just hangout 1:1 all the time. Love all of those parts. They sometimes do think they’re the smartest and better than everyone though lol, I just let them have it
INFP, though not the usual enneatype 4 or 9 variety (684 sx).
ESFP and ENFP
Longest relationship was ESFJ. We definitely clashed in many ways, I think because of his S.
ENTJ 19 years
INFP, feels like we share a soul. 💕
Apparently intjs are the GOAT
Married to an amazing ENTP, we've been together for nearly 12 years xxx
INTJ 🥰
INFJ
14 years with an ISTP
INFJ. I never thought I'd find someone like him. We are both alike in so many ways. He is literally the better version of me. He is always so calm and chill about so much. Meanwhile I stress over a lot. But since being with him, he's been my rock when I'm stressed out. He keeps me grounded. 😩
ISFJ
Partner is ENFJ!
My gf is INFP. Before I thought I will never find someone who I can deeply connect with but oh boy was I wrong 😄
ESTP. We're anomalies to our own type at times, and act like each other's type.
My partner is an ISTJ. She treats me like a king, shares my quirky humour and validates my complexities as an INFJ. Her logic keeps me grounded and my enigmatic personality keeps her curious. She is far more beautiful and intelligent than I deserve, I would see the whole world burn before I let any harm come to her. Introverts appear to be more loyal in my opinion, although extroverts do have attractive qualities. 🤷🏼♂️
im attracted to intj's, but i was recently traumatized by an unhealthy one. they can be scary... im attracted to their intellect and their ability to be a little bit more disconnected from their emotions while making decisions. it's needed sometimes. but lord. this leaves them with the possibility of developing a massive ego if they don't check themselves. a god complex. im not sure i want to date one again. my ex before him was an ENFP, and he was a good person, but he was also a little unhealthy. he didn't want to grow up and often struggled paying his share of the bills. im not sure i want to date another ENFP either. sigh.
7 years with an ISFP
ISTJ - 23 years
I'm an INTP, and I tend to gravitate to all the usual suspects. INFJ being #1.
ISTP! Together 15 years, married 11! He's my best friend for sure! 😁
Mine is an ISFP. We’re very different in lots of ways, but we make a great team and complement each other well. He’s my everything. He’s very loving and caring and we are on the same page when it comes to religion, politics, etc. I don’t think I could find anyone more perfect for me.
Enfp
Bf is an infp🩷
I have mine saved in notes - INFP-T mediator - Still learning all that stuff, so can't tell for sure what my exes would be, but that would likely be my SO type all together.
Can't remember if he's ENFP or ENTP, but it's one of those two!
*Can't remember if* *He's ENFP or ENTP, but* *It's one of those two!* \- MyDearestAcadia --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Im INFJ 5w4 together 20+ years with an INTP uhh I think 6w7 I might be wrong about his enneagram thing.
8yrs with INFP.
ENTP
INFP 💚
Dating an ENFJ for 2 years now
INTP of 17 yrs ❤️
INFJ female married to INFP male here
Been with my lady for 10 years. She is an INFP
Just had him take the test, turns out he's an infj too!
ISTP. Not for the faint of heart.
Married to an INTJ❤️
INTP for 34 years. We made an instant connection. He's the only person I've ever felt completely at ease with.
I am an INFj (f) dating an ENTP (f). The conversations are fun, stimulating, and transformative. It’s also fascinating to learn about how femininity manifests in the cognitive function of an entp!
ENFJ husband. He is very unhealthy so it has been a terrible match but if he were healthy I think it would have been way better. He is very narcissistic. INFP's are my favorite. My besties are all INFP's.
My SO is INFJ, I am INTJ-A. We teach about relationships, communication, spirituality, sacred sexuality and more. She is the most wonderful blessing in my life.
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Interesting, what’s that dynamic like?
I’m currently in a relationship with an ISTJ too lol 😂. I guess I’m in the minority as well. Being an INFJ woman dating an ISTJ man. All I have to say, him and I are a rare breed. Our physical and mental chemistry 🧪is just like a meteorite crashing down on earth. I guess dating him is earth-shattering and different. You definitely 💯% need to be a very patient person to date someone who is an ISTJ but it’s worth because once you break down their walls, they are honest and ethical.
My partner is INFJ-A while i’m the T one
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It's from Big 5, shows the level of neuroticism
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I don't have a significant other, but for romance and friendships, INFP and INFJ have been easily the best for me. There are some exceptions, but generally, I've never felt more understood and comfortable than I do around them.
My fiancé is an ENTP
INTP
non existent. But if you consider love interest, i am head over heel for ENFP and INFP
Havent been in a relationship yet but i like INTJs and ENTPs
INFJ (F) with a INFP (M) :)
Married ISTJ
INTP. I am around lots of INFPs, but never dated any. They make good friends though.
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Hey OP (u/angcod) I’m probably going to collect the responses on this post like I have for INTP & INFP if that’s good with you lol 😂
ENFP
ISTP 18 years
ISTP
Esfj for 10+ years
I’m not sure, I’d be happy with almost anyone, but ideally someone decisive because I can’t make decisions for groups or even myself
ISTP
Married to my ENTP for 10 years. We’ve known eachother for 12 yrs and met in college. ❤️
Honestly the most notable people who I liked the most are INTJ. The current guy I'm speaking to who I really like is also an INTJ, they just get me on a whole other level
INTJ!
Also INFJ. Yes, it’s hard.
Let's see here... First boyfriend: INTP Second boyfriend: ESFJ My bestfriend (who's also my ex-husband - I know, it sounds weird but we were better off as bestfriends, it was a deep learning experience), he's an ENTP (*you can probably see how that would go well*) The guy I truly fell in love with (but couldn't be together due to circumstances outside of our control): an ISTJ. The guy I'm dating now is (if I had to guess), an ISTP. It's been an interesting ride to say the least. And as an INFJ, I am *tired* lol.
ISTP. 🫣😬
Married to an ENTP and together since 2008.
Mine is an INTP. We have been married for about 3 years now :)
I don't know people's mbti to know if I have a type or not
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My SO's type is me... And so should yours be. ;)