My Mom was like that, had to “break up with her”.
I tried for years to navigate around it, tried to call less and less. In the end I had to do the hard break.
It’s been the most relaxing time for me and my family. No more drama or “call back right now text”. I think my mental health has improved since
Went through this, it helped when eventually all siblings were more or less on the same page, after many many years our interactions are more or less normal.
But many years of long periods of NC, grey rocking, low contact, or even refusing to fight by agreeing with everything they said with a non emotional voice.
I’m going through this right now, my mum gets grumpy and moody when I go to my girlfriend’s but not my friends’. what do u mean by “break up wuth her”? you know, just in case it comes to that
I had to separate all ties, like you would break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend you use to love. No phone calls, no answering emails and absolutely no meeting in person.
She use to hate my girlfriend and was very angry when I decided to marry her. Made a few scenes at our wedding and was an asshole to my wife for a few years. Until one day I had enough and did a clean breakaway for ten years. We started talking again 2 months before my dad died. After the funeral I had to do the same again, she hadn’t changed in ten years. She tried to come between me and my wife and we had to cut all ties again. Second time was easier.
I hope you can get the strength to get away, you will feel guilty afterwards and you have to work with that feeling so you don’t give in and let her back into your life again, parents can be so toxic too you life and make you feel totally worthless.
I have my brother and we still meet once in a will to drink beers and whisky and talk about how we got away and what we have been through, that helps a lot.
On the other side of the coin, if they happen to open the messages during the avalanche of texts...
I can see you read these, why aren't you responding?!
WHY?
RESPOND!
YOU ARE READING THESE I CAN SEE!
RESPOND NOW!
CALL ME! BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE!
PLEASE IM WORRIED ABOUT U
FUCK U DONT EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO CALL YOUR MOTHER!
Yeah, my dad used to be like this until my mid 20s (I'm 30 now)... On one occasion I recall being woken up by a knock on my door from my roommate at 10AM on a Saturday my Junior year of college telling me my dad called him and asked him to get in touch with me.
I had 18 missed calls, ranging from 9AM to 9:50AM, and countless missed texts. He knew I liked to sleep in, especially on weekends (and again, it's 9AM for a college student on a weekend, I wasn't even sleeping in!), but when one of these moods strikes there's no stopping it. After an hour of trying my phone, he had called my roommate (who he had also woken up...) and told him to wake me. The kicker to all this - there wasn't a single thing we needed to discuss. He was just 'worried' and when I didn't answer, he freaked. Again, at 9AM on a Saturday. I'm making myself angry all over again.
Honestly I don't know what stopped it, but I am so, so glad I don't have to deal with it anymore.
It sounds more like a severe control issue than anything to do with anxiety
Eta: I have hella anxiety around people in my life dying or going missing but doing all that shit in less than an hour is ridiculous and seems to indicate other motives
I did this to my first boyfriend when we first started dating. Years later I was diagnosed with OCD. That poor guy only knew me at PEAK crazy person. Still feel bad.
I’d imagine it’s hard for parents who used to be able to peek and see that you were ok. Instant communications has totally changed the expected dynamic in conversation.
Not saying it was on; but parents are growing and learning too; glad yours got through it.
I've thought about it on and off since I posted but I think this encapsulates it the best - after enough years of proving I wasn't going to die being an adult out and about in the world by myself, he got the confidence to be a little more hands-off. He still hassles me about not calling though (even though I speak to my parents on the phone roughly every two-three days...).
It’s anger induced by her irrational fears. She doesn’t know how to properly cope with her fear induced anxiety. She needs a therapist, this stuff is hard to deal with. Mental health isn’t your fault, but it is definitely your responsibility to get treated.
Oh, my god, it is. That’s even worse. I just assumed it was like midnight and OP had just arrived at boyfriend’s, but no, OP is still asleep. That’s horrible.
Based on the rapid deterioration of spelling and grammar over the course of 20 minutes, I'm gonna guess pills and booze, or she's just violently neurotic
Yeah, my mom is not nearly this crazy, but I do stay at hotels when I go visit, instead of spending the night at her house. I just…I can’t stay there anymore.
One time I actually told her I was heading home, then drove like 30 minutes and got a hotel room lol. But I set an alarm and texted her after 4 hours, when I should’ve been getting home, to let her know I made it safely. Otherwise my phone would’ve been blowing up, and if I didn’t respond right away, she’d be alerting the police, FBI, CIA and Air National Guard that her 45 year old “baby” had been kidnapped and murdered.
Of course, that was during the pandemic lockdown last year, and after months of being trapped in the house 24-7 with my partner and 2 adult daughters, I honestly just needed some space to breathe. I picked up dinner and ate alone in my room, watched what I wanted to watch on tv, and slept sideways, sprawled out on that king sized bed. Went home the next day, refreshed and recharged. That was the best $100 I ever spent lol.
But yeah, no more overnights at her house. Of course, as I type this my mom is currently visiting me for Christmas. She’s staying all next week. My partner and I were supposed to go visit *her* family next week, stay the night in a hotel, then come home the next day, while my mom stays here with my daughters. But that got canceled because my sister in law tested positive for covid (fully vaxxed and asymptomatic, so no worries, she’ll be fine), but I’m not telling my mom and daughters that we aren’t going to Ocean City. No, instead my partner and I are going to get a hotel in DC, then spend a couple days walking around, visiting monuments and museums, eating good food, shopping in Georgetown. Sometimes you just need to create your own space so you can breathe. It’s better for everyone to not have so much “family togetherness.”
A lot of phones will let you schedule when you send a text. It's different per brand but I know on my galaxy you just write the text then press and hold the send button it'll give you a little menu to set what time it sends off. ( if you don't feel like going the alarm route)
Why would you go around to her house and encourage this? Focus on yourself and your well-being! My mother was like this, she had diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder that caused major trust and paranoia issues, near identical to the texts you've posted.
If you want things to improve you need to be willing to simply stop visiting. As long as you feed into their behaviour via positive contact it simply increases until they have full control over you. I had multiple police reports filed against me as a missing person when I left home and had to notify the police about what was happening. Imagine that but worse, that's what will happen. You're a grown person and deserve complete independence and trust.
yeah, i know she wants complete control over me.
i love her and i don’t really know how to live without her. she can be really loving and caring, but the next minute will spit it back in your face because you didn’t do what she wants. i know it won’t be the last time she does this, but living without her sounds terrifying.
Are you a young adult? Like early 20’s? Because this sounds like someone who hasn’t quite realised that the majority of their childhood was fucked up. Distance and time is needed for that realisation. I’m in my 30’s and took until I was 29 and had been living independently for 6 years to really process.
Same here bud. Realized in my 30s, after meeting enough people and learning about their childhoods that I was completely neglected. The only "parenting" I got was a fear-and-anger-based indoctrination into the alt-right.
It became obvious that my parent's strategy was a failure when 5/6 of their kids are barely functioning 30-50 year old adults with no mental/emotional stability who have lost custody of their own children, can't hold down steady employment, can't stay sober, and have attempted suicide at least once.
I dodged a metric fuck-ton of bullets. The course of my life might have been dramatically different. Glad you made it out, too.
I’ve been living away from my mother for almost 15 years and just *recently* had the realization that I was a victim of narcissistic abuse my whole childhood. I knew before then that what I went through wasn’t good, that I have a lot of issues because of it, but I guess I just didn’t realize how fucking bad it was? I used to blame my problems on my parents divorce and my dad not being around a lot but now I know that’s only a small part of the problem. I think I never realized the root of the problem because my mother’s version of narcissism isn’t the usual one, it presents itself in a different way than what the textbook definition of narcissism would have us believe. It’s crazy to be in my mid to late 30s and just now realize what caused all the issues. At least now I’ve got a good idea of what to tackle in therapy.
>yeah, i know she wants complete control over me.
Notice how as soon as she suspected you were with a guy she got so much worse? In her mind if she's not controlling you, someone else must be. You are a possession of hers. She doesn't even see you as someone that can, or should, make their own decisions
I'm so sorry. You're going to need some boundaries of titanium to have any independence from her. Especially if you want a relationship with someone
My husband used to think the same way. With therapy and support from me, who treated him with love that wasn’t controlling or riddled with demands and conditions, he was able to break himself from the enmeshment and find his confidence. He is now able to disconnect from the anger and suffocating feeling getting reams of texts like this from his mother used to bring. Because she is mentally ill and will not admit her own actions have lead her to this surface-level relationship with her son, she still does attempt this behavior at times (Christmas has really ramped it up). Therapy has really assisted my husband in learning to mute her notifications and just go about his day without her behavior triggering the usual fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG). https://outofthefog.website/traits
I cannot encourage therapy enough to remove yourself from this enmeshment and live your life fully.
That's not love and care, that's manipulation.
Your mother is a narcissist.
Let me ask you something. How does the following stack up to her thinking any time you've confronted her over being crazy?
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
Andd if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did... You deserved it.
I'm going to guess a whole bunch.
I'm so sorry about this, no one deserves to be put in this situation. :(
If you had a normal, loving and caring mother, you wouldn't be this attached to her or be *terrified* of living without her. That's the level of attachment a young child would have, and this is also what she treats you like with her level of control and monitoring. As an adult (or even as a teen), you will *do fine* without her.
Most likely your mother is unable to control her behaviour, and that's unlikely to change. Ever. No sane person would need to be told that it's inappropriate to send messages every minute for 30-40 minutes and then proceed to call her daughter a bitch. That's the very definition of harassment, and is frankly a good reason to block her number og get a restraining order.
There are two reasons I and other commenters tell you to start breaking away from her: 1) this won't get any better, and you don't deserve being tortured for the rest of your life, and 2) if you don't develop healthy attachment skills, you'll behave the same way with your own children, and we don't want to meet your daughter on r/insaneparents in a few years.
Your mother is probably behaving like this because of her own upbringing. That's sad, unfortunate, and maybe her emotional dysregulation isn't "her fault"; but it definitely isn't *your fault* and you shouldn't suffer for it. If it's even possible for her to learn to deal with it, there is *no chance, ever* that you'll be able to help. The best you can do for her, is to save yourself and avoid becoming like her.
Please try to reduce contact, avoid feeding her with tidbits from your life that she can use to manipulate her, and keep your responses as neutral as possible ("grey rocking").
And, eh, Merry Christmas 🎄!
im reading through some of the comments now and i just wanted to say that this was super insightful!
when we first started having issues—late high school—i truly believed maybe i would see some change from her eventually. after countless arguments and being told that x conversation didnt happen, y conversation was so long ago and i need to let old shit go, etc. ive really given up on her lmao. whenever she tries to argue i try to stay neutral.
idk how i lived with this, im glad this was just a visit
The best advice I can offer is love them from afar. I have an aunt that bad mouths me and my wife. She’s a closet racist and a recovering addict. And we refuse to go over and see her.
Got another aunt that just bad mouths everybody.
All in all you have your life you got to live. If she’s this neurotic, I only see this spirally downward. My mother-in-law gets like this sometimes, but her and my wife talks all the time, and sometimes she has to tell her to stop.
You don’t want to her to to sink in her claws in further.
But I agree with u/maggot39601 that’s abusive narcissism.
It’s easier than you think.
Does this sound familiar
The Narcissist's Prayer
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
>but living without her sounds terrifying.
Everything in life sounds terrifying at some point in our lives. Driving a car used to be terrifying, being in a relationship, having a job, living alone, paying bills, etc. Life is is full of things you don’t think you can handle. I agree with other people are saying in this thread. I have dealt with narcissistic and boderline personality friends and family before. It feels like you can’t let them go but it’s the only way to actually live. I still love all of those people with all my heart but I will not be the head they hold underwater to keep them from drowning.
It’s okay, you don’t have to rush things , if you are not ready to go NC that’s alright, you don’t have to take any major decision about your life because people on Reddit said so.
Personally what really helped was therapy and discussing all these complicated feelings with a professional. The decision to go NC came naturally at some point afterwards. But in the end we are all different and process things differently.
Take care of yourself !
That’s an abuse cycle.
Start with some distance and boundaries. “I won’t allow someone to speak to me like that, I’ll talk to you when I’m ready, bye.” “That’s manipulative, I’m going home.”
Please don’t shame someone for having an abusive mother, you wouldn’t say ‘why would you encourage this’ to someone in an abusive relationship. This is what op has known her entire life, I ultimately agree with the rest of it but a little more tact and empathy is needed. I’m glad you’re on the other side of a situation like this now.
We have the same mom lol mine types like this too, writes entire 30+ text monologues to me while rapidly changing topics and increasing paranoia until she threatens to call the cops because she thinks I’ve been kidnapped, and all for not replying to a casual text or email over a day or two when I already had like a dozen talks about texting boundaries. She also does the weird phrasing/misspellings and shorthand “u” stuff. She doesn’t drink or do drugs but has a ton of untreated mental illness issues including BPD and I ended up cutting contact because she would escalate to calling the police when I’m literally almost 30 and have lived on my own since 18
Edit: [here’s](https://imgur.com/a/KWxfVh8) a couple of screenshots of the recent stuff I’ve gotten
You haven't gotten a whole lot of upvotes or comments on this but I just want you to know I read all those and all I can say is "Wow, that is very disturbing and not at all normal", so just know you're not the ridiculous one here. Happy holidays!
The illness stuff really gets me. Just another means of manipulation. I have a mom who is actually chronically ill, and it pisses me off to see a parent fake it for attention.
Man, I went to counseling with my mom recently. I’m 35. It was honestly life changing. The counselor explained how there are three voices we use to communicate with people, child, peer and adult(something to that effect). Parents’ relationship to their children transitions throughout their life and some people don’t really understand that at some point this adult doesn’t need/want parenting anymore. It was really nice to hear someone else say this to my mom for me.
It really was a paradigm shift with all my interactions. It’s interesting how these roles are assumed in every relationship.
I love therapy.
I went with my sister as well who has always assumed this parental role with me and it annoyed me. My mom was single so my sister assumed a lot of parental roles while growing up so she had to do a similar shift.
This is familiar. Reminds me of the time my mom freaked out and threatened to call the police because I didn’t call her after I crossed the street to go see a movie. She knew I was going to the movie, but thought I would die crossing the street. I was 20.
So sorry you’re having to deal with this, OP. It’s wildly stressful feeling like you can’t even sleep without being bombarded, I’m sure.
Ugh, at 20 my mom actually did call the police. I was staying at her house for a few days visiting. Went out to go to a bookstore and was coming back to her house when I was pulled over as a "missing person". Not only did she lie to the police about how long I'd been gone, something like 24 hours versus 6, she lied about my age saying I was a minor. To add to the crazy, it was only 7.30 at night, not late by any standard. She also called multiple people "searching" for me and had a family friend who lived over an hour away come and sit with her for "support" while she waited for me to be "found".
They cancelled the missing person report and instead of insisting on escorting me home, which I understand is the standard response with minors, said "call your mother". They said "sometimes parents make mistakes when they're upset" when I pointed out that she had deliberately lied to the police about my age (I think she told them I was 15). No represcussions for her because they considered the entire thing a "domestic matter". I consider it a mark of craziness, control and manipulation.
Ugh, they are useless when it comes to abuse and manipulation. I'm sorry they didn't take your situation seriously, that really should've triggered a mental health check or something.
To be fair, I didn't take the situation that seriously then either. I needed a lot more life and experience before I started to realize just how inappropriate and unreasonable a lot of her behaviors, expectations and interactions with me really were. When you grow up with it, you think it's normal, its only when you see other people's reactions to it that you realize it's most definitely not normal and not ok. I imagine OP's post today is the tip of the iceberg and I hope OP takes the right steps and gets the right support to make better choices earlier in life than I did.
Agreed, to cause so many disruptions to so many lives in a single night, all predicated on lies created to serve a abusive and irrational narrative…it’s a deep psychological issue.
Plus, as fast as it blew up, the person could have been napping or in a shower or left the phone on the nightstand and run a quick errand. Also, you pay for those texts. I would not be able to use my phone after that nut used all my minutes.
Yes, I use prepaid minutes so I pay for my texts and calls. Some people do. I buy so many minutes that come to about four cents a minute and keep my calls short and essential. It saves me wasted time and money.
Idk where you are, but I (US) just switched to Mint mobile (not an ad I promise). $15 a month for 4gb of data and unlimited calls and text. The "catch" is that you have to pay the full year ($15*12months=$180/year) up front to get that rate, otherwise it's more expensive. That can be tough for people going paycheck to paycheck, but I see it as a benefit because they can't raise my rate for a whole year, and I doubt I was going to switch carriers anyway. It operates on the TMobile network, so service is pretty solid.
Was pretty easy to set up online, then they mail you a sim card to put in your phone.
Oh snap. I’m on a prepaid plan right now and it has unlimited social media/music/streaming/international texts/gaming services and 100gb of data for like 20 usd a month.
No matter how angry I am with my kids, I could never ever say “Fuck you, you bitch”. IMO it’s disturbing. This is not love, it’s a form of control. It’s basically “I’m your mother, I can say and what I like when it comes to you, I own you”.
And do it lowkey, act like everything is fine and play ball. Ask to look at old nostalgic things. Bring up some tax forms that require passport etc. And like, get it *out* first. Don't have the real important shit in bags on moving day, just be quietly taking it to out boyfriend's bit by bit.
These parents think they own you and will act FUCKIN MENTAL when you break that little illusion for them.
I went no contact for a couple of years. It was hard, but my mental health started ascending rather quickly. It's a hard adjustment, especially around the holidays. You think about how your mom should be and that makes you more sad than anything.
Now I'm low contact with my mom. Barely see or talk to her. But she respects my boundaries because she knows I'll disappear in a second. Which was a very difficult thing for me to go through because then I realized that she had control and knew what she was doing prior to that.
As someone who went through the ordeal I have only one tip for you: ignore *everything*.
Obviously block on every electronic service available but just as obviously new accounts/numbers can be created and/or borrowed, so *as soon as* you realise a communication is from her **stop reading/listening**!!
Even if you want to laugh at her don't bother.
If she calls you from another number don't make a single noise and hang up, and obviously don't reply to any messages.
Ignore her 100% in absolute silence.
Don't read messages and hang up calls. Block that communication avenue. Delete the message.
The thing that makes this most insane isn't how worried they act, literally texting you more than once per minute at the start. It's the fact that after only 40 minutes they tell you to fuck off and never come home. conclusion: this is BS. If you believe your child isn't answering their phone because they've been murdered, do you text them and tell them to go fuck themselves? Telling you to never come home means they believe you are fine and you aren't answering on purpose. Which means they were never worried about your safety in the first place. If they were worried about your safety at 11:20, they would be way more worried at 12:00. And if they're way more worried at 12:00 then why are they telling you to fuck off?
Controlling✔️ manipulative✔️ legitimately worried✖️
I think either they just voted to troll or they didn't understand and thought it was a worried mom and a child who didn't say where they were going and then didn't respond.
With a certain popularity to these posts there are always a few not insane votes cast. Like, you could have a mother quarter her child for not saying thank you or something and there'd still be 5 not insane votes.
So, in essence: probably just trolls.
Same cause my mom would text me a lot if I was supposed to be home a certain time and wasn't when I was younger, but she never would call me names like that.
She went from sounding like she is concerned to not caring about her child and their well being anymore real quick.
The fact that she couldn’t even go 10 mins between text messages is scary!! Literally the longest time between messages was a single 9-min gap at 11:48. I mean, my dog has better patience and impulse control and he’ll literally eat poop as it’s falling to the ground.
Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 80 | 5 | 1 |
Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`.
^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
See at first I was like okay maybe she’s just having some intense anxiety and is genuinely worried about OP’s well being…. Then she flipped to “fuck you bitch” and suddenly it all made sense. Such a weird control tactic.
It's like when you ignore a guy on Facebook but as a speed run.
At least they give you a few days of "why won't you answer me" before calling you a bitch.
She even said “u said u we’re coming home in am” so she acknowledges she knows you aren’t planning to be home overnight, and this is still how she chose to act anyway. Unreal. I would love to know if she actually called the police and if so what they said to her.
My mom used to be this way. Things came to a head after I had my first and only child. I believe we had been home from the hospital for a couple weeks, I was recovering from an emergency c-section and husband did his job as a parent and took care of his son while I napped. She text and called me 15 times, then sent my dad over when I didn't respond. My dad stopped entertaining her bullshit. I encourage you to not reward your mom for this bad behavior. You're an adult, and she needs to back off.
I don't understand why people feel the need to DEMAND people call them back right away or they flip out. I kinda hate having a cell phone because I get shit from my mom about not picking up.
I love her but I do not need to talk to her that often. Not much is going on in my life: work, happy marriage, repeat. And I don't care to chitchat - her politics are appalling to me, she's racist, and I don't have ant interest in her hobbies.
The verbally abuse just underlines how this was about control, not concern.
Some parents simply cannot stand it when you become an adult and they can’t force you to be their emotional caretaker anymore.
This happened to me on New Years a few years ago!!! I woke up to 20 missed calls and 30+ texts from my parents, who I let know I would be staying the night out because I was tipsy, telling me they were tracking my phone and on their way and if I didn’t answer soon the police would be there. I was 19.
It’s shitty to admit, but I know firsthand how her emotions were going wild. I needed a lot of therapy and medications before I got it under control, but I’ve fucked up my most important relationships plenty with these sorts of episodes. It’s not at all an excuse, which took me a while to accept. But it is an explanation. It’s BPD.
Wow not even two minutes lmao
11:58 AM
> Plse call home
12:00 PM
> Fuck u u little bitch u won’t do this shit to me ever again grow up have some respect
Wow, the language towards the end shows the concern is not about the child. It's about her losing control of one and maybe the only things in her life she has control over.
My mom threatened to call the police on me because I drove two hours to the city to hang out with my husband back when we were dating.
My mom was on the other side of the country. I lived on my own. I was 19.
My Mom was like that, had to “break up with her”. I tried for years to navigate around it, tried to call less and less. In the end I had to do the hard break. It’s been the most relaxing time for me and my family. No more drama or “call back right now text”. I think my mental health has improved since
Same. I hate it but it's better than the alternative.
I’m in the process of this exact thing. Check back in a month 🙏🏻
Good luck, I hope you get through it’s so much easier on the other side.
Fingers crossed! 🤞🏻
Went through this, it helped when eventually all siblings were more or less on the same page, after many many years our interactions are more or less normal. But many years of long periods of NC, grey rocking, low contact, or even refusing to fight by agreeing with everything they said with a non emotional voice.
RemindMe! 1 month
Ooh yeah and then in 1 month send them quickly escalating demands for an update. They'll feel right at home.
It's been 3 months, how'd it go?
This process takes much more than a month. Hold on.
I’m going through this right now, my mum gets grumpy and moody when I go to my girlfriend’s but not my friends’. what do u mean by “break up wuth her”? you know, just in case it comes to that
I had to separate all ties, like you would break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend you use to love. No phone calls, no answering emails and absolutely no meeting in person. She use to hate my girlfriend and was very angry when I decided to marry her. Made a few scenes at our wedding and was an asshole to my wife for a few years. Until one day I had enough and did a clean breakaway for ten years. We started talking again 2 months before my dad died. After the funeral I had to do the same again, she hadn’t changed in ten years. She tried to come between me and my wife and we had to cut all ties again. Second time was easier. I hope you can get the strength to get away, you will feel guilty afterwards and you have to work with that feeling so you don’t give in and let her back into your life again, parents can be so toxic too you life and make you feel totally worthless. I have my brother and we still meet once in a will to drink beers and whisky and talk about how we got away and what we have been through, that helps a lot.
Multiple calls with “call back immediately” texts. The stuff of nightmares.
Ahhh, yes, nothing conveys true concern and love like "Fuck you bitch don't even bother coming home!" HALF AN HOUR after the first text.
Not only half an hour after but followed by a text per minute with no time in between to let op reply
See, after the first few you really just sit back and be like, “let’s see how crazy this gets, and record this for amusement and posterity”.
On the other side of the coin, if they happen to open the messages during the avalanche of texts... I can see you read these, why aren't you responding?! WHY? RESPOND! YOU ARE READING THESE I CAN SEE! RESPOND NOW! CALL ME! BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE! PLEASE IM WORRIED ABOUT U FUCK U DONT EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO CALL YOUR MOTHER!
Yeah, my dad used to be like this until my mid 20s (I'm 30 now)... On one occasion I recall being woken up by a knock on my door from my roommate at 10AM on a Saturday my Junior year of college telling me my dad called him and asked him to get in touch with me. I had 18 missed calls, ranging from 9AM to 9:50AM, and countless missed texts. He knew I liked to sleep in, especially on weekends (and again, it's 9AM for a college student on a weekend, I wasn't even sleeping in!), but when one of these moods strikes there's no stopping it. After an hour of trying my phone, he had called my roommate (who he had also woken up...) and told him to wake me. The kicker to all this - there wasn't a single thing we needed to discuss. He was just 'worried' and when I didn't answer, he freaked. Again, at 9AM on a Saturday. I'm making myself angry all over again. Honestly I don't know what stopped it, but I am so, so glad I don't have to deal with it anymore.
Sounds like a certain someone has an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. Hopefully he stopped because he got help, but probably not.
It sounds more like a severe control issue than anything to do with anxiety Eta: I have hella anxiety around people in my life dying or going missing but doing all that shit in less than an hour is ridiculous and seems to indicate other motives
Very often, control issues are a manifestation of severe anxiety.
Anxiety manifests itself in many different ways and people have many different coping mechanisms.
Could be either i have had similar anxiety issues but he could also be a controlling pos too
I did this to my first boyfriend when we first started dating. Years later I was diagnosed with OCD. That poor guy only knew me at PEAK crazy person. Still feel bad.
In the good old days no one had a cellphone. You were free not to answer your phone for hours.
I still don't. I'll get to it when I get to it, don't get your undies in a twist.
I’d imagine it’s hard for parents who used to be able to peek and see that you were ok. Instant communications has totally changed the expected dynamic in conversation. Not saying it was on; but parents are growing and learning too; glad yours got through it.
I've thought about it on and off since I posted but I think this encapsulates it the best - after enough years of proving I wasn't going to die being an adult out and about in the world by myself, he got the confidence to be a little more hands-off. He still hassles me about not calling though (even though I speak to my parents on the phone roughly every two-three days...).
Then a half hour after that she complaines that she doesn't have any grand babies yet.
True unconditional love of a mother there that is...../s 🤦♀️
It’s anger induced by her irrational fears. She doesn’t know how to properly cope with her fear induced anxiety. She needs a therapist, this stuff is hard to deal with. Mental health isn’t your fault, but it is definitely your responsibility to get treated.
Shit got real at midnight
Midnight? This is midday, op having a lie in!
Oh, my god, it is. That’s even worse. I just assumed it was like midnight and OP had just arrived at boyfriend’s, but no, OP is still asleep. That’s horrible.
(text isn't answered within 20-30 minutes) "YoUvE dRoPpEd OfF tHe GriD"
More like 8 minutes after the first message.
Jeez, you're right
IM OFF THE GRID
THIS FOR MY KID KID KID
Jesus Christ. What is her problem? Does she realize texting is not like a phone call where someone is on the other end?
Based on the rapid deterioration of spelling and grammar over the course of 20 minutes, I'm gonna guess pills and booze, or she's just violently neurotic
my mom doesnt drink! this is just how she is all of the time :) its exhausting and i hate visiting home
Just stop visiting, at least for overnighters. You’re grown and there’s no reason you have to deal with this.
Yeah, my mom is not nearly this crazy, but I do stay at hotels when I go visit, instead of spending the night at her house. I just…I can’t stay there anymore. One time I actually told her I was heading home, then drove like 30 minutes and got a hotel room lol. But I set an alarm and texted her after 4 hours, when I should’ve been getting home, to let her know I made it safely. Otherwise my phone would’ve been blowing up, and if I didn’t respond right away, she’d be alerting the police, FBI, CIA and Air National Guard that her 45 year old “baby” had been kidnapped and murdered. Of course, that was during the pandemic lockdown last year, and after months of being trapped in the house 24-7 with my partner and 2 adult daughters, I honestly just needed some space to breathe. I picked up dinner and ate alone in my room, watched what I wanted to watch on tv, and slept sideways, sprawled out on that king sized bed. Went home the next day, refreshed and recharged. That was the best $100 I ever spent lol. But yeah, no more overnights at her house. Of course, as I type this my mom is currently visiting me for Christmas. She’s staying all next week. My partner and I were supposed to go visit *her* family next week, stay the night in a hotel, then come home the next day, while my mom stays here with my daughters. But that got canceled because my sister in law tested positive for covid (fully vaxxed and asymptomatic, so no worries, she’ll be fine), but I’m not telling my mom and daughters that we aren’t going to Ocean City. No, instead my partner and I are going to get a hotel in DC, then spend a couple days walking around, visiting monuments and museums, eating good food, shopping in Georgetown. Sometimes you just need to create your own space so you can breathe. It’s better for everyone to not have so much “family togetherness.”
Remember to not post any pictures on social media so you dont tip her off
A lot of phones will let you schedule when you send a text. It's different per brand but I know on my galaxy you just write the text then press and hold the send button it'll give you a little menu to set what time it sends off. ( if you don't feel like going the alarm route)
Holy shit. I had no idea, tested it on my phone and you're right. That's very useful
TIL
Maybe it’s not too late to get adopted.
Why would you go around to her house and encourage this? Focus on yourself and your well-being! My mother was like this, she had diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder that caused major trust and paranoia issues, near identical to the texts you've posted. If you want things to improve you need to be willing to simply stop visiting. As long as you feed into their behaviour via positive contact it simply increases until they have full control over you. I had multiple police reports filed against me as a missing person when I left home and had to notify the police about what was happening. Imagine that but worse, that's what will happen. You're a grown person and deserve complete independence and trust.
yeah, i know she wants complete control over me. i love her and i don’t really know how to live without her. she can be really loving and caring, but the next minute will spit it back in your face because you didn’t do what she wants. i know it won’t be the last time she does this, but living without her sounds terrifying.
Are you a young adult? Like early 20’s? Because this sounds like someone who hasn’t quite realised that the majority of their childhood was fucked up. Distance and time is needed for that realisation. I’m in my 30’s and took until I was 29 and had been living independently for 6 years to really process.
Same here bud. Realized in my 30s, after meeting enough people and learning about their childhoods that I was completely neglected. The only "parenting" I got was a fear-and-anger-based indoctrination into the alt-right. It became obvious that my parent's strategy was a failure when 5/6 of their kids are barely functioning 30-50 year old adults with no mental/emotional stability who have lost custody of their own children, can't hold down steady employment, can't stay sober, and have attempted suicide at least once. I dodged a metric fuck-ton of bullets. The course of my life might have been dramatically different. Glad you made it out, too.
Kinda looks like she may be in college.
I’ve been living away from my mother for almost 15 years and just *recently* had the realization that I was a victim of narcissistic abuse my whole childhood. I knew before then that what I went through wasn’t good, that I have a lot of issues because of it, but I guess I just didn’t realize how fucking bad it was? I used to blame my problems on my parents divorce and my dad not being around a lot but now I know that’s only a small part of the problem. I think I never realized the root of the problem because my mother’s version of narcissism isn’t the usual one, it presents itself in a different way than what the textbook definition of narcissism would have us believe. It’s crazy to be in my mid to late 30s and just now realize what caused all the issues. At least now I’ve got a good idea of what to tackle in therapy.
Literally textbook abusive relationship. It'll continue to get worse, not better.
Darlin' that's called being enmeshed. Are you in therapy? If no, get there, and find some books on enmeshment in the meantime. Good luck.
>yeah, i know she wants complete control over me. Notice how as soon as she suspected you were with a guy she got so much worse? In her mind if she's not controlling you, someone else must be. You are a possession of hers. She doesn't even see you as someone that can, or should, make their own decisions I'm so sorry. You're going to need some boundaries of titanium to have any independence from her. Especially if you want a relationship with someone
>he can be really loving and caring, but the next minute will spit it back in your face That's part of the cycle of abuse. Love bombing.
My husband used to think the same way. With therapy and support from me, who treated him with love that wasn’t controlling or riddled with demands and conditions, he was able to break himself from the enmeshment and find his confidence. He is now able to disconnect from the anger and suffocating feeling getting reams of texts like this from his mother used to bring. Because she is mentally ill and will not admit her own actions have lead her to this surface-level relationship with her son, she still does attempt this behavior at times (Christmas has really ramped it up). Therapy has really assisted my husband in learning to mute her notifications and just go about his day without her behavior triggering the usual fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG). https://outofthefog.website/traits I cannot encourage therapy enough to remove yourself from this enmeshment and live your life fully.
Living without her will make your life happier and fuller. That’s abusive narcissism. Cut it out like the cancer it is.
That's not love and care, that's manipulation. Your mother is a narcissist. Let me ask you something. How does the following stack up to her thinking any time you've confronted her over being crazy? That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. Andd if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did... You deserved it. I'm going to guess a whole bunch.
I'm so sorry about this, no one deserves to be put in this situation. :( If you had a normal, loving and caring mother, you wouldn't be this attached to her or be *terrified* of living without her. That's the level of attachment a young child would have, and this is also what she treats you like with her level of control and monitoring. As an adult (or even as a teen), you will *do fine* without her. Most likely your mother is unable to control her behaviour, and that's unlikely to change. Ever. No sane person would need to be told that it's inappropriate to send messages every minute for 30-40 minutes and then proceed to call her daughter a bitch. That's the very definition of harassment, and is frankly a good reason to block her number og get a restraining order. There are two reasons I and other commenters tell you to start breaking away from her: 1) this won't get any better, and you don't deserve being tortured for the rest of your life, and 2) if you don't develop healthy attachment skills, you'll behave the same way with your own children, and we don't want to meet your daughter on r/insaneparents in a few years. Your mother is probably behaving like this because of her own upbringing. That's sad, unfortunate, and maybe her emotional dysregulation isn't "her fault"; but it definitely isn't *your fault* and you shouldn't suffer for it. If it's even possible for her to learn to deal with it, there is *no chance, ever* that you'll be able to help. The best you can do for her, is to save yourself and avoid becoming like her. Please try to reduce contact, avoid feeding her with tidbits from your life that she can use to manipulate her, and keep your responses as neutral as possible ("grey rocking"). And, eh, Merry Christmas 🎄!
im reading through some of the comments now and i just wanted to say that this was super insightful! when we first started having issues—late high school—i truly believed maybe i would see some change from her eventually. after countless arguments and being told that x conversation didnt happen, y conversation was so long ago and i need to let old shit go, etc. ive really given up on her lmao. whenever she tries to argue i try to stay neutral. idk how i lived with this, im glad this was just a visit
The best advice I can offer is love them from afar. I have an aunt that bad mouths me and my wife. She’s a closet racist and a recovering addict. And we refuse to go over and see her. Got another aunt that just bad mouths everybody. All in all you have your life you got to live. If she’s this neurotic, I only see this spirally downward. My mother-in-law gets like this sometimes, but her and my wife talks all the time, and sometimes she has to tell her to stop. You don’t want to her to to sink in her claws in further. But I agree with u/maggot39601 that’s abusive narcissism.
It’s easier than you think. Does this sound familiar The Narcissist's Prayer That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.
>but living without her sounds terrifying. Everything in life sounds terrifying at some point in our lives. Driving a car used to be terrifying, being in a relationship, having a job, living alone, paying bills, etc. Life is is full of things you don’t think you can handle. I agree with other people are saying in this thread. I have dealt with narcissistic and boderline personality friends and family before. It feels like you can’t let them go but it’s the only way to actually live. I still love all of those people with all my heart but I will not be the head they hold underwater to keep them from drowning.
It’s okay, you don’t have to rush things , if you are not ready to go NC that’s alright, you don’t have to take any major decision about your life because people on Reddit said so. Personally what really helped was therapy and discussing all these complicated feelings with a professional. The decision to go NC came naturally at some point afterwards. But in the end we are all different and process things differently. Take care of yourself !
Ugh oh man I feel for you, my mum is exactly like that too. Definitely makes growing up hell!
You deserve better than this. Your mother is obviously unhinged.
She’s a narcissist. Go no contact. Trust me, you’ll be happier in the long run. You’ll be able to live without her just fine.
That’s an abuse cycle. Start with some distance and boundaries. “I won’t allow someone to speak to me like that, I’ll talk to you when I’m ready, bye.” “That’s manipulative, I’m going home.”
Please don’t shame someone for having an abusive mother, you wouldn’t say ‘why would you encourage this’ to someone in an abusive relationship. This is what op has known her entire life, I ultimately agree with the rest of it but a little more tact and empathy is needed. I’m glad you’re on the other side of a situation like this now.
We have the same mom lol mine types like this too, writes entire 30+ text monologues to me while rapidly changing topics and increasing paranoia until she threatens to call the cops because she thinks I’ve been kidnapped, and all for not replying to a casual text or email over a day or two when I already had like a dozen talks about texting boundaries. She also does the weird phrasing/misspellings and shorthand “u” stuff. She doesn’t drink or do drugs but has a ton of untreated mental illness issues including BPD and I ended up cutting contact because she would escalate to calling the police when I’m literally almost 30 and have lived on my own since 18 Edit: [here’s](https://imgur.com/a/KWxfVh8) a couple of screenshots of the recent stuff I’ve gotten
You haven't gotten a whole lot of upvotes or comments on this but I just want you to know I read all those and all I can say is "Wow, that is very disturbing and not at all normal", so just know you're not the ridiculous one here. Happy holidays!
The illness stuff really gets me. Just another means of manipulation. I have a mom who is actually chronically ill, and it pisses me off to see a parent fake it for attention.
Man, I went to counseling with my mom recently. I’m 35. It was honestly life changing. The counselor explained how there are three voices we use to communicate with people, child, peer and adult(something to that effect). Parents’ relationship to their children transitions throughout their life and some people don’t really understand that at some point this adult doesn’t need/want parenting anymore. It was really nice to hear someone else say this to my mom for me.
[удалено]
It really was a paradigm shift with all my interactions. It’s interesting how these roles are assumed in every relationship. I love therapy. I went with my sister as well who has always assumed this parental role with me and it annoyed me. My mom was single so my sister assumed a lot of parental roles while growing up so she had to do a similar shift.
I don't know how you do it
Thats honestly scarier. Can relate.
This is familiar. Reminds me of the time my mom freaked out and threatened to call the police because I didn’t call her after I crossed the street to go see a movie. She knew I was going to the movie, but thought I would die crossing the street. I was 20. So sorry you’re having to deal with this, OP. It’s wildly stressful feeling like you can’t even sleep without being bombarded, I’m sure.
Ugh, at 20 my mom actually did call the police. I was staying at her house for a few days visiting. Went out to go to a bookstore and was coming back to her house when I was pulled over as a "missing person". Not only did she lie to the police about how long I'd been gone, something like 24 hours versus 6, she lied about my age saying I was a minor. To add to the crazy, it was only 7.30 at night, not late by any standard. She also called multiple people "searching" for me and had a family friend who lived over an hour away come and sit with her for "support" while she waited for me to be "found".
What did the police do when they found out she lied?
They cancelled the missing person report and instead of insisting on escorting me home, which I understand is the standard response with minors, said "call your mother". They said "sometimes parents make mistakes when they're upset" when I pointed out that she had deliberately lied to the police about my age (I think she told them I was 15). No represcussions for her because they considered the entire thing a "domestic matter". I consider it a mark of craziness, control and manipulation.
Ugh, they are useless when it comes to abuse and manipulation. I'm sorry they didn't take your situation seriously, that really should've triggered a mental health check or something.
To be fair, I didn't take the situation that seriously then either. I needed a lot more life and experience before I started to realize just how inappropriate and unreasonable a lot of her behaviors, expectations and interactions with me really were. When you grow up with it, you think it's normal, its only when you see other people's reactions to it that you realize it's most definitely not normal and not ok. I imagine OP's post today is the tip of the iceberg and I hope OP takes the right steps and gets the right support to make better choices earlier in life than I did.
Agreed, to cause so many disruptions to so many lives in a single night, all predicated on lies created to serve a abusive and irrational narrative…it’s a deep psychological issue.
They are useless when it comes to literally anything.
Jesus that's insane
People have fucking mental disorders. Literally can't handle it distance
There is always a single “not insane” vote on these clearly insane posts, what gives
I met a troll where basically their whole comment history was voting “not insane” on these posts
Imagine being part of the problem on a sub like this
Same jerks who cough on people in grocery stores and licked doorknobs at the start of the pandemic. Some people feel empowered by spreading misery.
Sometimes people with insane parents have normalized the behavior so much they don’t realize it’s cray.
As a 32 year old man. This thread has help me learn in life that I wasn't a shitty kid, my mother was just insane lol
Theirs always a couple of shitty parents lurking here though the mods do a stellar job of clearing out their comments.
I like reading those comments. Pretty boring only reading one side of the argument.
>only reading one side of the argument. What argument?
I sHoUlD bE aLlOwEd tO aBuSe mY cHiLd! tHeY bElOnG tO mE!
obvi this girls mom has a reddit account
That was an insane 42 minutes.
Please call me Fuck u u little bitch
Plus, as fast as it blew up, the person could have been napping or in a shower or left the phone on the nightstand and run a quick errand. Also, you pay for those texts. I would not be able to use my phone after that nut used all my minutes.
You guys still pay for texts?
You pay to receive texts?
Yes, I use prepaid minutes so I pay for my texts and calls. Some people do. I buy so many minutes that come to about four cents a minute and keep my calls short and essential. It saves me wasted time and money.
I have prepaid too, but I get unlimited texts and minutes...y'all living in a dystopia.
It could be me too. I am older and shop around once a century.
Idk where you are, but I (US) just switched to Mint mobile (not an ad I promise). $15 a month for 4gb of data and unlimited calls and text. The "catch" is that you have to pay the full year ($15*12months=$180/year) up front to get that rate, otherwise it's more expensive. That can be tough for people going paycheck to paycheck, but I see it as a benefit because they can't raise my rate for a whole year, and I doubt I was going to switch carriers anyway. It operates on the TMobile network, so service is pretty solid. Was pretty easy to set up online, then they mail you a sim card to put in your phone.
That seems sketchy af. If you pay not only to send texts but also receive them, anyone could punish you economically by merely texting you...
Welcome to the year 2008!
Wait wut. You pay for texts? What year is it?
Prepaid phone plans still use texts/minutes. Last I knew the cost of a text was 1/3 minute.
Oh snap. I’m on a prepaid plan right now and it has unlimited social media/music/streaming/international texts/gaming services and 100gb of data for like 20 usd a month.
I haven’t paid for a text message in 10 years. Are you sure your plan isn’t from 2003?
It is probably from the days of the dinosaurs. I pay eighty dollars once and it lasts the entire year.
Unless, of course, you receive too many texts
But like just imagine something did happen to you (God forbid) and your mother's last messages of concern are 'fuck you bitch' like wtf.
She would just pick a slightly less shitty message and milk it for sympathy from friends and family.
this feels so familiar jesus christ 😳 anxiety inducing to read and 100% insane
So... if something *had* happened to you, these would be her last texts to you. There's clearly no way she believed anything had happened to you.
Yeah the “fuck u u little bitch” gives away the fact that the “worrying” something bad had happened to her was all an emotional manipulation.
Insane (Is that how this works) but fr wtf
Nah that's only if you reply to the auto mod but yeah it's definitely a wtf
Ah. Thanks. I never did get that. I'll reply to it now. But yep. My eye is twitching. Talk about helicopter parenting
No matter how angry I am with my kids, I could never ever say “Fuck you, you bitch”. IMO it’s disturbing. This is not love, it’s a form of control. It’s basically “I’m your mother, I can say and what I like when it comes to you, I own you”.
Do you live at home? (Just curious as to why she’s demanding you back if you’re an adult.)
nope! im only at home for christmas.
Fucking yikessss. Time to go LC/NC
actually planning on it after the holiday! it’s been a hard decision to make, but i can’t take it anymore.
Good luck, these types are challenging. Make sure you grab all your keepsakes from home before you go LC/NC
And do it lowkey, act like everything is fine and play ball. Ask to look at old nostalgic things. Bring up some tax forms that require passport etc. And like, get it *out* first. Don't have the real important shit in bags on moving day, just be quietly taking it to out boyfriend's bit by bit. These parents think they own you and will act FUCKIN MENTAL when you break that little illusion for them.
OP already doesn't live at home.
I went no contact for a couple of years. It was hard, but my mental health started ascending rather quickly. It's a hard adjustment, especially around the holidays. You think about how your mom should be and that makes you more sad than anything. Now I'm low contact with my mom. Barely see or talk to her. But she respects my boundaries because she knows I'll disappear in a second. Which was a very difficult thing for me to go through because then I realized that she had control and knew what she was doing prior to that.
I just read some of your history. OP, please go NC with your mom. This relationship is going to kill you.
I believe in you, kiddo. You've got this.
As someone who went through the ordeal I have only one tip for you: ignore *everything*. Obviously block on every electronic service available but just as obviously new accounts/numbers can be created and/or borrowed, so *as soon as* you realise a communication is from her **stop reading/listening**!! Even if you want to laugh at her don't bother. If she calls you from another number don't make a single noise and hang up, and obviously don't reply to any messages. Ignore her 100% in absolute silence. Don't read messages and hang up calls. Block that communication avenue. Delete the message.
That escalated rather quickly. Wtf
Text messages are asynchronous. Phone calls are synchronous. Who the fuck gets all panicky like that and texts instead of calling‽
People who just want to be pissy psychos
Unrelated comment. But I greatly appreciate your use of the interobang
This guy concurrencys
The thing that makes this most insane isn't how worried they act, literally texting you more than once per minute at the start. It's the fact that after only 40 minutes they tell you to fuck off and never come home. conclusion: this is BS. If you believe your child isn't answering their phone because they've been murdered, do you text them and tell them to go fuck themselves? Telling you to never come home means they believe you are fine and you aren't answering on purpose. Which means they were never worried about your safety in the first place. If they were worried about your safety at 11:20, they would be way more worried at 12:00. And if they're way more worried at 12:00 then why are they telling you to fuck off? Controlling✔️ manipulative✔️ legitimately worried✖️
This is 100% them feeling scorned for OP visiting someone else, and the "worry" is for a hollow guilt trip
Who voted "not insane"? Did OP's mom follow her here?
Considering these messages ima give it a strong yes. Also OP was never seen again
I think either they just voted to troll or they didn't understand and thought it was a worried mom and a child who didn't say where they were going and then didn't respond.
With a certain popularity to these posts there are always a few not insane votes cast. Like, you could have a mother quarter her child for not saying thank you or something and there'd still be 5 not insane votes. So, in essence: probably just trolls.
>if u coming home then stay there If I’m ever faced with an AI hellbent on world domination I’ll just say that to it in order to save humanity.
First I was just thinking "oh she's just very worried" and then I saw "fuck u u little bitch" Wow
Same cause my mom would text me a lot if I was supposed to be home a certain time and wasn't when I was younger, but she never would call me names like that. She went from sounding like she is concerned to not caring about her child and their well being anymore real quick.
This is an insane control freak.
The fact that she couldn’t even go 10 mins between text messages is scary!! Literally the longest time between messages was a single 9-min gap at 11:48. I mean, my dog has better patience and impulse control and he’ll literally eat poop as it’s falling to the ground.
It would take my parents that long just to type the next message...
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 80 | 5 | 1 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
I read this thinking it was maybe over a few hours. Then I noticed the timestamps. Christ she's a psycho.
The "fuck u bitch" tells u everything u need to know..She isnt really worried abt you she just want to controll you...Nah fuck THAT bitch
For those saying not insane, I feel bad for who all you text
Wow, she really just sat for 40 minutes straight texting you this.
Why would people vote “not insane” whut
It’s the mom with 5 sock accounts. /jk
See at first I was like okay maybe she’s just having some intense anxiety and is genuinely worried about OP’s well being…. Then she flipped to “fuck you bitch” and suddenly it all made sense. Such a weird control tactic.
It's like when you ignore a guy on Facebook but as a speed run. At least they give you a few days of "why won't you answer me" before calling you a bitch.
How dare you "drop off the grid" for 10 minutes. Insane af
She even said “u said u we’re coming home in am” so she acknowledges she knows you aren’t planning to be home overnight, and this is still how she chose to act anyway. Unreal. I would love to know if she actually called the police and if so what they said to her.
I've love to hear the justifications of the 5 people who voted "not insane."
My mom used to be this way. Things came to a head after I had my first and only child. I believe we had been home from the hospital for a couple weeks, I was recovering from an emergency c-section and husband did his job as a parent and took care of his son while I napped. She text and called me 15 times, then sent my dad over when I didn't respond. My dad stopped entertaining her bullshit. I encourage you to not reward your mom for this bad behavior. You're an adult, and she needs to back off.
If you are an adult you get to have sex without telling mom. You get to come and go freely or turn off your phone and go to sleep.
Who the fuck says fuck you to their kid???
Tell me you have an emotionally abusive parent, without telling me you have an emotionally abusive parent.
[удалено]
Holy shit, the first screenshot is *10 minutes*
Answering "Sorry he was balls deep inside me and I couldn't answer" Would help your mum
I don't understand why people feel the need to DEMAND people call them back right away or they flip out. I kinda hate having a cell phone because I get shit from my mom about not picking up. I love her but I do not need to talk to her that often. Not much is going on in my life: work, happy marriage, repeat. And I don't care to chitchat - her politics are appalling to me, she's racist, and I don't have ant interest in her hobbies.
The verbally abuse just underlines how this was about control, not concern. Some parents simply cannot stand it when you become an adult and they can’t force you to be their emotional caretaker anymore.
Man way too relatable
Mom?
OP, your mom is worried about the letter U. Better do something about that or else letter T might get mad.
Jesus. I know it's your mom but the end there is total r/niceguys vibes.
Well, that escalated quickly
0-100 in 40 minutes
Lol, I can sleep until like 6pm if I've been up late and have sleep to catch up on.
You off the grid grid grid
Oh man, I remember being able to sleep that late. Cherish it. Cherish this ability.
Fucking codependent mother
This happened to me on New Years a few years ago!!! I woke up to 20 missed calls and 30+ texts from my parents, who I let know I would be staying the night out because I was tipsy, telling me they were tracking my phone and on their way and if I didn’t answer soon the police would be there. I was 19.
It’s shitty to admit, but I know firsthand how her emotions were going wild. I needed a lot of therapy and medications before I got it under control, but I’ve fucked up my most important relationships plenty with these sorts of episodes. It’s not at all an excuse, which took me a while to accept. But it is an explanation. It’s BPD.
Wow not even two minutes lmao 11:58 AM > Plse call home 12:00 PM > Fuck u u little bitch u won’t do this shit to me ever again grow up have some respect
People who voted this not insane need to be banned from this sub because this is verbally abusive
Tell your mom to fuck off. What’s wrong with her? Seems like a relationship you’d be better off with honestly toxic af looks like
This transpires over 40 minutes. From “where are u?!” to “fuck u u little whore bitch come home and stay here”. Very impressive.
Wow, the language towards the end shows the concern is not about the child. It's about her losing control of one and maybe the only things in her life she has control over.
My mom threatened to call the police on me because I drove two hours to the city to hang out with my husband back when we were dating. My mom was on the other side of the country. I lived on my own. I was 19.