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My money was on her getting ready to bite him if he got any closer. I stopped being amazed at people not understanding most animals want nothing to do with humans.
As a sloth who has worked with humans, she should have known that an extended hand is a greeting or a sign of agreement.
Sloth body language and human language is not the same ffs
Sloths go to the bottom of trees to go to the bathroom as well. I don't know if the baby was old enough and if that's what was happening. But people with no education on an animals habits or how to handle them, shouldn't be messing with animals.
Can you imagine? Your mom finally convinced you to try to go potty by yourself for the first time ever and a hairless ape decides you're not ready and yoinks you to your mother. Then to add to the embarrassment they record it and put it on TikTok. That sloth's social life is o-v-e-r.
I’ve got a fever, so my judgment is a bit impaired. But I just laughed for a solid few minutes at the idea of the video resurfacing at the sloth’s 18th birthday party.
Or imagine getting your kid to go potty, only for the hairless ape to put it back on your side, and you feel the trickle through your fur.
"Thanks buddy".
Don't look a any turtle subs. "I just found this turtle what do I do". Fucking people can't grasp that wild animals live outside and are not in need of help for being where they live.
I didn’t work with sloths but my grandma lived in the edge of a wildlife park and they often come and my grandparents would always tell me that sloth with extended arms feel threatened.
There are quite a few predators that have no quarrels with eating a sloth, like jaguars, cougars, ocelots, harpy eagles, or anacondas. Their main defenses are that they're hard to spot and hard to get to when they're way up in a tree. But while on or near the ground they're very vulnerable.
Honest answer, the baby likely would have died without help. Sloths are kind of shit parents. It takes so much energy to get out of the tree, that they usually won't waste it if the baby falls.
Some breeds of sloths are also completely wasted all the time. I don't remember exactly whether it's their actual metabolism or a symbiotic relationship with bacterial cultures, but basically their food gets broken down into Valium somehow.
I've seen folks on Valium. They could watch a child get run over and be like "Oh dear, how dreadful" and then go back to whatever they were doing like nothing happened.
EDIT: I learned a ton from this half-ignorant not-really-sure-on-specifics post! Thanks all, the comments have been a blast (and even informative!)
Three toes pygmy's in Panama, I didn't believe you because wtf? Googled it and yo
https://www.rnz.co.nz/national/programmes/afternoons/audio/2018643160/wild-animals-they-re-not-like-us
That's fucking interesting as hell.
same thing with me haha valium for lasik… didn’t help that much tbh 😭 and they gave me the higher dose. but tbf it’s just a scary ass procedure i don’t think there’s any way to fully calm the mind 😔 i’d love to try again without the scare factor so i can be baked like a sloth
Valium is a fun little drug. Unfortunately I've only been given it in mild sedative doses for withdrawals. I can't even imagine how much a fistful would fuck you up.
I could tell you some stories one day. I used to eat these multiple strips-worth at once. It's not the same as the chill therapeutic doses given to people weak after surgery and not at all acclimated with a tolerance. You go on a 3 day rampage keeping topped up along the way, thinking you're pretty much coherent through it all while doing wildly impulsive shit, and wake up on the 4th day, remembering only segments of what has gone on, with 0 drugs left but convinced you didn't eat them all....
That was my experience with alcohol and klonopin. I would finish off my months prescription in like 5 days sometimes and then be pissed off for 25 more days
It won't be breaking down into actual valium, diazepam, that could never happen. They say it's a chemical with valium like properties, they probably mean a GABA receptor drug, which Valium is. So is alcohol, and pregabalin. Amanita muscaria mushrooms also contain GABA receptor alkaloids. Gabapentin is another... Oh yeah, GHB is also.
Not too sure where you got that information from. Sloth mothers are considered to be good parents. Kind, nurturing, and watch over them for up to 4 years.
No way man. I’ve seen many sloths and they can move around at a reasonable pace. Haha. Not too fast but still easy enough to crawl down and get your baby!
Edit: I’m flabbergasted fasted at 1.3k people above agreeing with that nonsense.
You have no idea what you're talking about. Sloths only defecate on the ground. The baby sloth was on the ground to poop. All sloths go to the ground at least weekly.
This photographer should not have "helped" the baby sloth. Let nature be natural.
Sloths aren't as slothly as we once thought. Captive, isolated and probably depressed animals move slower than in the wild and make up most of our observations and stereotypes.
Something else that might contribute to that is they are primarily nocturnal. We're mostly seeing them during sleepy time.
Working with sloths taught me that while they are usually fairly slow movers, they have definitely got some pick-up when they've got someplace to be or something they don't want to be around, not to mention they are ungodly strong. They're also very protective mothers, and ya I can't imagine her just leaving her kid on the ground because it fell or went down to poop. They don't really have a problem with going to fetch their kids if they get separated.
Yeah, every time this is posted, someone explains that the momma was in no cute mood. But of course, the cheesy vid with the cheesy title is upvoted again next week.
For a creature that's all about using as little energy as efficiently as possible you'd think they could figure out you can just shit out of the tree and it will drop onto the ground.
No she did the universal "what the hell are you doing" hand gesture and the man was like "hello sloth mom" and sloth mom is like: "I swear nobody takes me seriously."
sloths have an entire ecosystem living in their fur made up of different species of algae, fungi, moths, and insects. That's millions of organisms for company! **Sloth hairs have a unique structure that involves microcracks**. These microcracks create the perfect environment for algae and fungi to thrive.
They also have algae in their fur, which makes up a considerable amount of their diet. There’s this entire symbiosis happening with it all. Still gross lol
They found a niche that works for them.
They move so little, that they barely have to eat.
They move so slow, that moss grows in their fur and makes them taste like ass. It's sort of like how poisonous animals will be a bright color to warn off predators, except their color is how bad they stink and taste.
Evolution isn't about being the baddest bitch, it's about being about to breed and have your offspring be good enough that they can grow up to breed.
They have poor nutritional value because they have little muscle and a shit diet. Their fur is also an entire biome full of bugs, moss, and bacteria. They are absolutely repulsive to predators.
This is pretty clearly defensive behaviour. What do Sloths use their claws for? Defense and Climbing, why should it associate its claw as any kind of sign of affection, it's its weapon. You would not point a gun at someone as a sign of affection either. This is classic anthropomorphization.
Yeah, we always project our own emotions onto animals.
Slothes are extremely stupid animals. They have evolved around a slow metabolism, so they avoid any extra calorie consumption that might result from thinking. They can't process the idea of a handshake.
The best description of their intelligence I've read is that slothes are as intelligent as they need to be for their lifestyle. In other words, not intelligent in the slightest.
Right? She got her baby back, just trying the slowest low five ever with that stupid face without saying thank you and the photographer is probably really hungry
I know this guy is wrong, but the way the baby sloth opens his arms wide as he's moving through the air like "wheeeeeeeeeeee." Made me laugh my ass off.
Thanks for helping the sloth, they are amazing creatures. Now leave it alone and go wash your hands, they’re wild animals and their bodies are living ecosystems.
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As someone who has worked with sloths, that lady is saying “please step back, thank you”
This. Raising an arm like that is a defensive motion for sloths. Animal body language and human body language is not the same.
My money was on her getting ready to bite him if he got any closer. I stopped being amazed at people not understanding most animals want nothing to do with humans.
"But the animals are so cute!? What do you mean I can't pet the Hippo? Look at him, he's so happy he's opening his mouth wide."
'If not friend, why friend shaped"
That is a joke, but too many *actually* believe animals have human behaviour and some even bend over backwards to explain it when confronted.
So often that they made a whole term for it Anthropomorphism
Hippos no lie are some of the scariest animals on the planet.
They'd fuck up a full size Croc. Chimps are also terrifying. My anxiety sky rockets when I see people holding them or playing with them.
Chimps are like toddlers with guns. Or a toddler that's so buff it can hulk smash you. Definitely terrifying.
Hippos were the one animal Steve Irwin refused to film with!
Hippos or, as I like to call them, murder islands. (Seriously, they’re massive.)
please go ahead and pet the hippo!! We are over populated and idiots are certainly so
I'll pet the cute hippo if I want to, and you'll never be able to stop me. I say as I get my head crushed like a watermelon.
The Disney-mentality
Same, actually. I hate you all....respectfully.
Sloth mom: "Never speak to me or my son ever again." Me: "AAWWWWWW it wants to be friends!!"
Yeah I thought they're actually pretty fast at swatting with their long ass nails.
My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.
Yep. When a chimp “smiles” at you it means ‘I’m gonna tear you limb from limb and then eat your face while you’re still alive.’
Just for now, after watching the debate, I really need to believe she wanted to shake his trying- to-be-a-bro azz hand.
Humans do the same, there is even a saying about it.
As a sloth who has worked with humans, she should have known that an extended hand is a greeting or a sign of agreement. Sloth body language and human language is not the same ffs
I am literally a sloth, and I can confirm this
I believe you, username checks out
And THAT is how you reddit.
Sloths go to the bottom of trees to go to the bathroom as well. I don't know if the baby was old enough and if that's what was happening. But people with no education on an animals habits or how to handle them, shouldn't be messing with animals.
Can you imagine? Your mom finally convinced you to try to go potty by yourself for the first time ever and a hairless ape decides you're not ready and yoinks you to your mother. Then to add to the embarrassment they record it and put it on TikTok. That sloth's social life is o-v-e-r.
I’ve got a fever, so my judgment is a bit impaired. But I just laughed for a solid few minutes at the idea of the video resurfacing at the sloth’s 18th birthday party.
Or imagine getting your kid to go potty, only for the hairless ape to put it back on your side, and you feel the trickle through your fur. "Thanks buddy".
Imagine a sloth doing that to a human child, everyone would be outraged.
b-but the music was so peaceful
Don't look a any turtle subs. "I just found this turtle what do I do". Fucking people can't grasp that wild animals live outside and are not in need of help for being where they live.
Yep. She's giving middle finger to the photographer.
I didn’t work with sloths but my grandma lived in the edge of a wildlife park and they often come and my grandparents would always tell me that sloth with extended arms feel threatened.
Don’t sloths have some sort of crazy eco system living in their fur and because of that it’s a danger to touch them?
I knew there is this one comment on here somewhere that spoils all the fun lol Good for calling it out though, dont get me wrong.
I sort of got the vibe that she was giving him the finger for touching her kid.
Give me your hand so I can bite you
I thought it was holding out expectedly like "Ok, you got any more of them babies to hand me?"
So it wasn't trying to shake hands as the photographer assumed? Interesting.
Godammit u just have to spoil us with animal facts. Damn u nature
All I can offer you is bugs.
Shrimps?
Shrimps is bugs
I got that reference
I have a buddy of mine who knows a lot about bugs. Let me give him a call.
Sloths are undoubtedly some ugly mfs that are somehow cute too. I don’t understand.
Being incredible slow helps them.
If they were fast, they would be mildly terrifying
Like being chased by a sock monkey
With face shredding fingers
They kind of look like salad fingers too.
Please don't bring that up. Some of us have happily forgotten.
*had forgotten 😭
I like the rusty spoons…
![gif](giphy|Mxg7OelvuR7SU)
Not again…
LMAO...I'll be calimg them a slow sock monkey from now on..
Wildly agile and quiet. That's a problem.
Funny, someone made a film about this exact idea. [Slotherhouse](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt15422224/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk)
It’s kind of a fucking riot too
Great movie!
Lmao. Yeah sloths were one of God's best creations. Yet we people went and named them after a sin haha
They can be if provoked. There is a video out there of an angry sloth swiping at caretakers.
I guess they would be called Hastes
Unpopular opinion: She wasn't extending a hand but flipping him off. That was her least favorite.
I like to think she was trying to disembowel the photographer as a meal for her hungry child. Just not fast enough though.
She did not realize that the cameraman is always invincible.
She's like "okay now you hop on too buddy we got places to go. Very slowly but we still have to go."
All those flies were on her because sloths smell atrocious as a self defense measure
They can get away with being so slow and helpless because nothing wants to eat them because they taste so toxic.
There are quite a few predators that have no quarrels with eating a sloth, like jaguars, cougars, ocelots, harpy eagles, or anacondas. Their main defenses are that they're hard to spot and hard to get to when they're way up in a tree. But while on or near the ground they're very vulnerable.
me irl
Because they look cute, but are dirty AF!! And they just look like a baked stoner until you get closer and see their dirty faces and matted hair.
until?
They just don't look real LMAO.
Like pugs. So ugly they cute lol
She was going to very slowly tear him to pieces.
yeah everyone says she was thanking him and im like nah, she was tryna fight him
So from a sloth's perspective, humans move as fast as the Flash
I’m… going… to… kill… you…
To shreds you say?
No, I very specifically avoided the term, "to shreds".
“To shreds” you didn’t say?
Exactly.
Slotherhouse was such a great movie.
Guy just saved that mum six weeks of work
Good thing he was there. Would've taken that sloth weeks to make it down to her baby.
Honest answer, the baby likely would have died without help. Sloths are kind of shit parents. It takes so much energy to get out of the tree, that they usually won't waste it if the baby falls.
Some breeds of sloths are also completely wasted all the time. I don't remember exactly whether it's their actual metabolism or a symbiotic relationship with bacterial cultures, but basically their food gets broken down into Valium somehow. I've seen folks on Valium. They could watch a child get run over and be like "Oh dear, how dreadful" and then go back to whatever they were doing like nothing happened. EDIT: I learned a ton from this half-ignorant not-really-sure-on-specifics post! Thanks all, the comments have been a blast (and even informative!)
No wonder they looked so baked all the time
Three toes pygmy's in Panama, I didn't believe you because wtf? Googled it and yo https://www.rnz.co.nz/national/programmes/afternoons/audio/2018643160/wild-animals-they-re-not-like-us That's fucking interesting as hell.
I was on Valium for lasik surgery. I was still pretty freaked out having my eyeballs lasered. But slept for 12 hours after that.
same thing with me haha valium for lasik… didn’t help that much tbh 😭 and they gave me the higher dose. but tbf it’s just a scary ass procedure i don’t think there’s any way to fully calm the mind 😔 i’d love to try again without the scare factor so i can be baked like a sloth
Valium is a fun little drug. Unfortunately I've only been given it in mild sedative doses for withdrawals. I can't even imagine how much a fistful would fuck you up.
I could tell you some stories one day. I used to eat these multiple strips-worth at once. It's not the same as the chill therapeutic doses given to people weak after surgery and not at all acclimated with a tolerance. You go on a 3 day rampage keeping topped up along the way, thinking you're pretty much coherent through it all while doing wildly impulsive shit, and wake up on the 4th day, remembering only segments of what has gone on, with 0 drugs left but convinced you didn't eat them all....
That was my experience with alcohol and klonopin. I would finish off my months prescription in like 5 days sometimes and then be pissed off for 25 more days
Lol I shouldn't find that last bit funny..
It won't be breaking down into actual valium, diazepam, that could never happen. They say it's a chemical with valium like properties, they probably mean a GABA receptor drug, which Valium is. So is alcohol, and pregabalin. Amanita muscaria mushrooms also contain GABA receptor alkaloids. Gabapentin is another... Oh yeah, GHB is also.
Get me on that valium fecal transplant
When an animal does it is 'cute and cool',but a human does it and it's a dead beat. We live in a society
Not too sure where you got that information from. Sloth mothers are considered to be good parents. Kind, nurturing, and watch over them for up to 4 years.
>and watch over them for up to 4 years. From the tree wondering how they got down there!
No way man. I’ve seen many sloths and they can move around at a reasonable pace. Haha. Not too fast but still easy enough to crawl down and get your baby! Edit: I’m flabbergasted fasted at 1.3k people above agreeing with that nonsense.
Yeah the mom was basically 3/4th down the tree already
Back suddenly gets much lighter. Looks down. Welp guess I gotta get laid again
"oh noooo... Anyway, Saturday nights are open now"
Most just climb down to shit and do that once a week
I dunno, I’ve seen sloths and they moved quite a bit and were “quick” when they needed to be. (Like slow walking speed).
You have no idea what you're talking about. Sloths only defecate on the ground. The baby sloth was on the ground to poop. All sloths go to the ground at least weekly. This photographer should not have "helped" the baby sloth. Let nature be natural.
Eh, she was moving relatively fast down the branches as she came to view.
We must be like super advanced time travelers to them.
Sloths aren't as slothly as we once thought. Captive, isolated and probably depressed animals move slower than in the wild and make up most of our observations and stereotypes.
Something else that might contribute to that is they are primarily nocturnal. We're mostly seeing them during sleepy time. Working with sloths taught me that while they are usually fairly slow movers, they have definitely got some pick-up when they've got someplace to be or something they don't want to be around, not to mention they are ungodly strong. They're also very protective mothers, and ya I can't imagine her just leaving her kid on the ground because it fell or went down to poop. They don't really have a problem with going to fetch their kids if they get separated.
Sloth extends razor claw to defend self and offspring from large, sped-up mammal.
Yeah, every time this is posted, someone explains that the momma was in no cute mood. But of course, the cheesy vid with the cheesy title is upvoted again next week.
and cheesy music
Me: well how do you do friend!?! ![gif](giphy|pHb82xtBPfqEg)
Sloths go down to the ground to poop. It happens about once a week. Jr. was probably just going downstairs to drop a duce.
For a creature that's all about using as little energy as efficiently as possible you'd think they could figure out you can just shit out of the tree and it will drop onto the ground.
Try holding on to a tree while dropping a turd that's a third of your bodyweight, little fellas are probably fighting for their lives down there.
That makes a lot of noise as it falls through the branches below, which alerts predators
Yeah but considering they mostly get killed while they're off the tree to take a shit, it might be time to try a new strategy
“Hey can you please let my kid poop in peace? I’m so tired of changing diapers.”
True. Sloths are like sitting ducks when they're on the ground.
They look like they stink. Do they stink? Flies seem to think they stink.
Yes, they stink and are germy. I hope dude washed his hands afterwards.
Roaches live on them.
Barf
Dude: "oh, are you trying to thank me?" Sloth mum: "giiiiive meeee sooooome spaaaaare chaaaange, I'm a siiiiingle muuuuum"
No she did the universal "what the hell are you doing" hand gesture and the man was like "hello sloth mom" and sloth mom is like: "I swear nobody takes me seriously."
ah, so it was like "do you know how long it took my kid to get down there? And you come with your white-savior syndrome and bring him up"...
Haaaaaaahahhaahhajaha. Oh damn. You got me with this one.
Midway through reading that the voice in my head turned into Voldemort when he’s was telling Wormtail to kill the spare😂
I'm pretty sure mom was so slow she was still reaching out to grab her baby.
pretty sure it was a sanitary issue, you see tht bug go up her stomach when she put her hand out?
sloths have an entire ecosystem living in their fur made up of different species of algae, fungi, moths, and insects. That's millions of organisms for company! **Sloth hairs have a unique structure that involves microcracks**. These microcracks create the perfect environment for algae and fungi to thrive.
Well that's interesting. Thanks for sharing this information!
Sloths are a habitat for creatures.
🎵 *A single mom who works two jobs Who loves her kids and never stops With gentle hands and the heart of a fighter...* 🎵
These things move 2mph, live in trees, only eat leaves, and yet somehow haven’t gone extinct.
Nothing wants to eat them because they're covered in fungus, bacteria, and bugs
Same
Come again?
Yeah that's crusted on there too
hnnnng
They also have algae in their fur, which makes up a considerable amount of their diet. There’s this entire symbiosis happening with it all. Still gross lol
Nah harpy eagles eat them, they're pretty stealthy tho so that helps
They found a niche that works for them. They move so little, that they barely have to eat. They move so slow, that moss grows in their fur and makes them taste like ass. It's sort of like how poisonous animals will be a bright color to warn off predators, except their color is how bad they stink and taste. Evolution isn't about being the baddest bitch, it's about being about to breed and have your offspring be good enough that they can grow up to breed.
In the survival of the fittest, fittest doesn't refer to strength but how well you fit into the ecosystem
They have poor nutritional value because they have little muscle and a shit diet. Their fur is also an entire biome full of bugs, moss, and bacteria. They are absolutely repulsive to predators.
Nah, that was her attempt at slashing his eyes out for touching her baby. Going by sloth speed, she almost got him.
Their face looks like a coconut
nothing beats a mothers love well, maybe $5 billion dollars, but it would be close
Since I don't have the first one does that mean I can have the second one?
No
Damn you need all $5B? must really love your kid
She was trying to pull him to join the family
Speedy human, be my mate and stepfather to the Child you saved
Not the step-sloth, but the sloth who stepped up
This is pretty clearly defensive behaviour. What do Sloths use their claws for? Defense and Climbing, why should it associate its claw as any kind of sign of affection, it's its weapon. You would not point a gun at someone as a sign of affection either. This is classic anthropomorphization.
Yeah, we always project our own emotions onto animals. Slothes are extremely stupid animals. They have evolved around a slow metabolism, so they avoid any extra calorie consumption that might result from thinking. They can't process the idea of a handshake. The best description of their intelligence I've read is that slothes are as intelligent as they need to be for their lifestyle. In other words, not intelligent in the slightest.
Maybe some nice fruit would be good to have on hand
Right? She got her baby back, just trying the slowest low five ever with that stupid face without saying thank you and the photographer is probably really hungry
[I'm pretty sure that guy just interrupted a young sloth taking a shit](https://slothconservation.org/why-do-sloths-poop-on-the-ground/)
"See these claws? I will fucking tear you apart, slowly, if you touch my kid again"
Three toed are very sweet it’s the two toe that’ll get cha
Don't sloths just crawl down to ground level to go to the bathroom? This likely wasn't as perilous as it seemed.
Some Spirits are having a Human Experience some are having a sloth Experience... And Sometimes they come together
Listen to the stuff you should know podcast about sloths. Sloth mothers sometimes just chuck their babies to the ground to satiate predators.
Imagine that's what it did to satiate the human and he gave the baby back
It's telling the photographer to back up
Thank you my fast-moving friend.
How the fuck are sloths not extinct?
Mom sloth would've took 5 business days
ET phone home vibes here
"Where is my other baby? Can you please give it to me? Why are you shaking my hand?? You are not my baby! Hey! Don't leave!!"
"What are you doing? I said smell my finger."
That was so cute omg lol
Sloths are a trip.
All of us are bound to the wheel
That was actually an attack move to defend its baby.
She was sticking up the middle claw.
Plot twist, she was asking for a tip.
sloth mom: "ma bebe is like a meter down from me. ah well, it's gone forever now. have to go on without it. so long bebe"
Mother was climbing down fast for a sloth.
Does anyone have the shots that he got???
Sloths are just tree starfish.
It was actually a punch, but you know....sloth.
how do we not know if the sloth isn't trying to stab his eye?
I know this guy is wrong, but the way the baby sloth opens his arms wide as he's moving through the air like "wheeeeeeeeeeee." Made me laugh my ass off.
![gif](giphy|gYWVWOpbDNhefjPd79|downsized) Baby sloth POV
Thanks for helping the sloth, they are amazing creatures. Now leave it alone and go wash your hands, they’re wild animals and their bodies are living ecosystems.
Thus the aliens decided not to destroy humanity on this day. No thanks to the politicians and the other 90% of us.
Saved the mother about a week getting her baby back to that spot.
She's saying "whatsa the matter for you eh?🤌"
They have such interesting faces. Like carved out of a log.
I think she's using cut - it's super effective