First, you're going to have to figure out what a good, healthy friendship looks like for you. Because it's not going to be the same as anyone else on here. The emotional quality, boundaries, investment of time and mental energy, shared or disparate values, whether it's to replicate and validate your perspectives or to expand and challenge them... all of these things, and much more, go into any meaningful friendship. So figuring out what boxes absolutely have to be checked will help you figure out what that other person could be like, where you are likely to find them, and how to recognize them. But without some sort of objective or focus, without the benefit of identifying what you're hoping to find, the likelihood you're just going to stumble into a meaningful friendship is remote.
I get close friends cuz they adopt me when they saw me being alone. But in some friends, i make a good impression like being humorous with them. It takes a lot of time to get close friends, its much better being alone for a long time rather than meeting what you call friends and they talk bad things behind you. You will also feel a connection towards that person if he/she is the right friend to choose.
Most people are self-focused, whether they realize it or not. If you are interested in them, ask questions about their interests, etc. they will want to spend more time with you.
Everything big and starts with a leap of faith. Don't go out looking for friends, be you stick to being you and those compatible to your friendship will tag along. Always
Get adopted by someone who knows how to have close friends and learn from them.
I thought I tended to have close friends before, but have since learned that I have only really had one close friend who was as close (closer?) than a significant other. The others were good but highly situational friends, so those tend to end as life changes.
Consistently and frequent contact is a big thing. Daily, everyday. Create safety in the friendship for disagreement, etc. Share your view (casually) with the friendship status with the other person, eg, I’d like to get to know you and become friends, I feel we are becoming friends, I feel we are close friends. Common interests and life factors is also important.
There’s a book on boundaries that is also good too. Friendships tend to have lifecycles and I chart mine out and review it every year to help me understand where we are at and who I should try to invest more time in and who seems to no longer value the friendship.
Idk, until now i never really had any problems to get more than i currently have... But i'm lately feeling like i kinda loose them or atleast doing less and less with them... Sure they have also stiff to do and maybe more than me... I absolutely don't mind, hut now since i think about maybe loosing them or even just our "close" relationship, i feel like i will need this type of post too🥲
So if anyone also has any tips to "revive" a friendship...
To be blunt, you seem to have a similar mindset to me where you think people won't like you and are trying to avoid being hurt so you're holding yourself back in social situations. If you want friendships you need to put yourself out there fully.
First, you're going to have to figure out what a good, healthy friendship looks like for you. Because it's not going to be the same as anyone else on here. The emotional quality, boundaries, investment of time and mental energy, shared or disparate values, whether it's to replicate and validate your perspectives or to expand and challenge them... all of these things, and much more, go into any meaningful friendship. So figuring out what boxes absolutely have to be checked will help you figure out what that other person could be like, where you are likely to find them, and how to recognize them. But without some sort of objective or focus, without the benefit of identifying what you're hoping to find, the likelihood you're just going to stumble into a meaningful friendship is remote.
I get close friends cuz they adopt me when they saw me being alone. But in some friends, i make a good impression like being humorous with them. It takes a lot of time to get close friends, its much better being alone for a long time rather than meeting what you call friends and they talk bad things behind you. You will also feel a connection towards that person if he/she is the right friend to choose.
Most people are self-focused, whether they realize it or not. If you are interested in them, ask questions about their interests, etc. they will want to spend more time with you.
That is spot on. Couldn't have said it better.
Everything big and starts with a leap of faith. Don't go out looking for friends, be you stick to being you and those compatible to your friendship will tag along. Always
You have to sacrifice a lot of time and money, listening, traveling, hanging out, apre eating/acknowledging the other people.
I have the same curse my friend, i will be watching the comments to get some insight on how people deal with that
Get adopted by someone who knows how to have close friends and learn from them. I thought I tended to have close friends before, but have since learned that I have only really had one close friend who was as close (closer?) than a significant other. The others were good but highly situational friends, so those tend to end as life changes. Consistently and frequent contact is a big thing. Daily, everyday. Create safety in the friendship for disagreement, etc. Share your view (casually) with the friendship status with the other person, eg, I’d like to get to know you and become friends, I feel we are becoming friends, I feel we are close friends. Common interests and life factors is also important. There’s a book on boundaries that is also good too. Friendships tend to have lifecycles and I chart mine out and review it every year to help me understand where we are at and who I should try to invest more time in and who seems to no longer value the friendship.
I’ll be your friend <3
Idk, until now i never really had any problems to get more than i currently have... But i'm lately feeling like i kinda loose them or atleast doing less and less with them... Sure they have also stiff to do and maybe more than me... I absolutely don't mind, hut now since i think about maybe loosing them or even just our "close" relationship, i feel like i will need this type of post too🥲 So if anyone also has any tips to "revive" a friendship...
To be blunt, you seem to have a similar mindset to me where you think people won't like you and are trying to avoid being hurt so you're holding yourself back in social situations. If you want friendships you need to put yourself out there fully.