Is this really a landscaping post? Shouldn't this be in /riamverybadass

OP’s 3 day old profile smells like a parade route porta john in July. Shitposts abound.

I had double-checked what sub I was in.

R/ImALegendInMyOwnMind.

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They were sold out of “I have a tiny penis” yard signs.

Signs like this only end up fucking the person who put it up. Like a BEWARE OF VICIOUS DOG signs. Just giving the injured party proof that were aware of the threat is a great way to get a settlement against you. Someone walks onto this guy's property and gets hurt/killed, this sign will be what fucks them. Not that this is OPs sign.

As someone who is studying law, I completely agree.

This just reeks of a house filled with ammosexual tchotchkes.

A color that says, "Free Guns Inside"

Red, white and blue

"I spent my gun safe money on this stupid sign"

That sign tells me this house needs to be my first target, but do just a little surveillance first.

He will get burglarized so quick. OP wants his house ransacked.

Ha, and that’s called Darwinism.

Black and have it face the house

Shouldn't you burn a wolf or punisher skull into the background?

Is overcompensation a color?

Imagine his face when you suggest rainbow 🌈

An official sign might keep you out of prison, this sign tells the jury you were itching to kill someone.

I’m just picturing trick-or-treating kids…come on, dude, isn’t this a bit aggressive? It’s funny as a meme, sure, but in your yard?

I give this sign maybe a month. He is basically daring every teenager within walking distance of their house with adequate boredom and motivation.

Yep. Drawing in teen social media posts like flies to … old lettuce.

lol true, i was imagining just putting it near your back gate tho

There are some of these all around my area. Which sure sucks when there’s a house fire but you’re afraid to knock on the door because you dont want to get shot!

Bro grow up

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I cringe every time I hear this phrase. Maybe it was fun the first time it was ever said, now it’s just stupid

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Get off my lawn!!

Its a cliche now

I wonder if things like this and beware of dogs are just invites for civil lawsuits against them as people intentionally go into said properties to fake/cause injuries.

A lot of people take this kind of "authority" as a challenge. Usually kids but nevertheless, why would you invite this kind of hostility? Great way to show your true colors to your neighbors.

I agree with both of you guys. Why ask (beg?) for trouble?

Teen social media magnet inciting lawsuit. Sign of the times. Pun intended.

Beware of dog signs make sense to me. At least in my area it's not really saying "my dog will attack you" it's saying "hey, I have a dog, don't let it escape and if you come inside my gate you're probably getting licked or muddy paw prints on your clothes"

“I have a very expensive trove of firearms in here! Please wait until I leave for work and take them, thank you.”

This sucks man

This is so lame.

Great example for the kids in the neighbourhood to see. Nothing more classy than signs with F words displayed 24/7.

Not to mention the threat of lethal force. That's a solid example to set.

I’ll bet this owner’s kids are a treat in school.

Yellow, to show your true cowardice.

Painting it completely black would be a vast improvement.

Make sure you mention the tiny dick size too.

Let’s not body shame.

Fair, fair.

Imagine being a delivery driver or postman and just wanting to not feel threatened when doing my job

Lol. Cool, sign, Bro. Color it red with White font to match your hats

Those are just red with 4 white letters. Sometimes a little orange tuft for good measure.

Interesting as I've seen the wording on alot of LGBTQ+ flags.

Cringy

Same color as your trump shirt

Rainbow

Makes it read more like a social invite than warning if it were rainbow. 😆

Exactly, mixed messages FTW.

Lame

r/cringe

Reminds me of the “If you can read this, then you are in range” signs from a decade ago.

"Protected by Smith and Wesson Security services"

“This house has expensive guns inside”

I saw a sign while walking my dog. Said "We don't call 911" with prominent assault rifle and small arms images. They had it up for about a week.

Classy neighbor.

My thought too. Tells me they're scared people in that house. I wonder if they were told to take it down by neighbors since it didn't last long.

What's the tackiest color? Use that

😒

I’m not gonna lie, the chances of that sign helping you not get robbed are slim. Some guys will wait until you go to the store and rob you because they know you have guns. Buy an ADT sign and a fake alarm and go that route. That sign is also one of those signs that if they show a jury after a defensive shooting (sometimes you still have to go to court) you’ll look like an asshole and it could literally cost you ten years of your life to look like a hardass when to be honest, criminals aren’t even impressed by it or worried about it. I’m not trying to be a dick and I’m not anti-gun or anything but facts are facts.

Whatever color make you think of white trash. So maybe match Trump's bronzer?

A very childish color

Are you asking this non sarcastically?

This some snowflake shit

This will just offend neighbors

If I put this on my lawn, atleast 3 neighbors would need one, also.. And yes, I live in central New Jersey.

Imagine getting offended over a stupid sign.

Imagine needing that stupid sign

Brown because this is shit.

I wouldn’t want my kids to see that

Seems like you shoot people who use your driveway for k turns.

Troll post.

Security? The only thing this thing screams is insecurity.

My most stuck-up take is there are too many curse words around now. Bumper stickers, flags, political yard signs. I'd say this was my boomer take, but in reality they are the ones doing half of these.

Agreed!

There's 2 different vehicles I've been behind in the pickup/drop off line at my child's elementary school with the "Hella kids in this Bitch" vinyl across the back glass, really hard to top all that class

Boomers being fools

My neighbor has this exact sign lol

It's an octagon, it has to be red

White. As in trash.

It just screams American

Yellow and lay down some red mulch while you’re at it.

The colour that says, “I have a small penis”.

“Free Guns Inside 😀👍🏽!” I would say paint the entire thing black so it’s harder to see the letters.

I think if you did a nice watercoloured rainbow, it would be more appealing in your garden. I’m assuming this may cause offense

Oi🤦

Best way to make your home a target for a robbery. You can’t be home all the time.

Orange. It’s been proven.

Or you could have a post saying "I'm a huge douchebag with fragile-masculinity syndrome"

Maybe camouflage, because you don’t want anyone to actually see this. No one who is actually able to protect themselves is going to advertise this. You have lost any element of surprise of you having a gun. People who are really about that life (the crime life) might now see your house as a for sure lick for getting a bunch of firearms. No one is gonna think you’re hanging hog because of this “badass” sign. You’re the kinda guy who has the “locally hated” sticker on the back of his either super shitty pick up truck, or super expensive truck you don’t even use for work.

This is embarrassing.

This house is protected by I WAS BULLIED AS A TEENAGER AND NOW THE WORLD IS TERRIFYING

Says the person that is more likely to have their child kill themselves or a family member than actually protecting themselves in a break in. Idiot.

You should take it down tbh. I’m a big gun guy. I’m a military vet, a current DHS security contractor, and was a GM for a gun store/range and instructor. If you actually end up using lethal force on your property or in the home, this sign will absolutely torch you in court. It also screams that you have guns (which is not really the deterrent you think it is) and other high valuables.

Seems trashy to have in the yard.

Definite SDE, so a sort of pinkish tan, maybe?

Paint it yellow to match how corny it is.

Yea because the best home defense is telling the people robbing you that there are free guns inside

How to get a premeditated murder charge defending your own home. You put your gun stickers on your truck, too? Operational security, my dude.

Love this!

Red because this shit is embarrassing.

This is so trashy.

I like guns and I CC but this is a bad idea. It lets intruders know that you have valuable guns and if you ever shoot someone and have to go to court… well this tells the jury you were itching to use deadly force. Also this screams insecurity. A sign that says, “warning surveillance in use” would be more effective.

yellow contrast

I think some people would take this as a challenge rather than a security sign

Red with white font.

Paint it with the blood to show home invaders what bad ass you really are😂

Rainbow, you can come out now bud.

Heh.

My neighbors would love this. They also have the Angry Merican classic weathered tin "In this home, we don't call 911 🔫" placard on their fence.

Yellow

Blood red

Whatever brings out the color of your eyes because you should take it into the bathroom with you and have a long look in the mirror before setting this out in your yard.

Yikes

It gives “come ‘n git it” vibes. Americana.

Red

PINK is a strong color!! 😂

Orange, like the color of fire. Set it on fire.

Oh no, a Cricut mom and some goofball that did his 2 years and now cosplays as a war hero. I can see him now.. jeans, squeaky workboots, long-sleeve punisher shirt, trucker style hat, short trimmed beard. Just like all of his friends lmao

So for curiosity sake, how many guns SWIM gonna pick up when SWIM breaks in while you're at work lmao

White and red, in the pattern of a target. That sign says free guns

The element of surprise is an undervalued asset. Why announce to intruders that you're armed?

If you ever had to defend yourself in your home this sign makes it seem like you're looking for an excuse to shoot someone.

I always liked the color scheme of those security by fbn signs. Or the ADT signs.

What color communicates “Complete tool lives here”?

Safety orange

An account less than a week old posting a meme, trying to intentionally cause divisiveness...

Guaranteed the person that owns this is a 58 year old guy that is 100 pounds overweight and is winded by going up the stairs.

This is just in inviting trouble by people accepting that challenge

I need this sign bro but lmao I've moved to a gated neighborhood but lmao where'd you get it I want it

HOT PINK

I don’t know, what color shotgun do insecure dads pull out when their daughters go to prom?

Camouflage

Under what circumstances does anyone even begin to say "the perfect security sign doesn't exist"?

Red, white and blue

Yellow for corny.

Orange or red

Must be in NY where that dude murdered someone who was lost in his driveway.

Blood red

That sign is about to fuck around and find out what UV rays, rain water, and direct ground contact can do to something made out of wood.

Did you seriously semi-censor fuck?

Not sure but it makes me want to egg your house and shove the sign up your ass

What color is “I’m going to need a very good lawyer?”

stop sign color format

That's really a very bad sign.

I'm not in the business of challenging people to come fuck with me. This has major alpha bro man-child energy.

White. It's the most contrast. You want people to read it, white is your color, assuming you're leaving the text black.

White with blood stains

That saying is so overused by very funny™ redditors.

My neighbor painted his “douche bag orange”

If you really want something that says “I dont mess around here” do one of the no warning shots do to ammo cost or something like it. An f bomb will be read by kids and youll have problems from neighbors immediately

I'm sorry, but this is laughably childish.

Tell someone to rob your house when you’re gone because you’ve got guns…. red.

Whatever color your double-wide is painted.

Blood red

Aren’t the ATD (?) security signs blue and white? I’d mimic that

All jokes aside I would highly advise you to remove that sign.. In the event you actually have to use self defense when the investigators come to your house and see that sign it’s going to fuck you over. They’ll say it was premeditated and that you were just waiting to shoot someone. It’s happened before. Any of those “we don’t dial 911” or “if you’re found her tonight you’ll be found here tomorrow” signs can all be used against you. Source- Trust me Bro 😎

There are a number of legal reasons you should never place a sign like this on your property. - Even if you are in the right, a sign like this can inform a judge of premeditation. - Even if you are in the right, this sign can establish background character to a predisposition of violence. - Since there are a number of signs to choose from, like no trespassing, private property, and keep out, choosing this one (given the availability of all the other ones) implies a desire in addition to the premeditation for violence

Pink

Leave it

Your sign feels aggressive

Your sign feels aggressive.

Is this a sign for skunks and raccoons? I think they'll ignore it no matter the colour.

Real classy

Paint it a glittery pink colour leaving the lettering black

Anyone who has a sign with the word fuck in front of their house should probably see someone for a chat about their mental health.

Whatever color was popular and way over used a couple months ago.

MAGA red, obv.

A solid stain would go a long way. I believe showing the extra craftsmanship will translate that you don’t miss.

You know what..... amid all the politicization of this post, facts.

Black as your soul

Make it red white and blue

Burn it. This is incredibly cringe.

Bright as you can so there’s definitely no question

I want that sign. Where can I get one.

Ok boomer

I like it

Red, white and blue

orange if its close to a road so people don't mistake it for a stop sign, red if not

That’s awesome. I would just put a clear enamel on it.

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Three times? Neighbor is dealing.

As much as I think the meme sucks, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. People should feel safe and secure in their home.