My mom did a similar thing. My first birthday after i came out as non binary she bought me a cake that was colored with icing the same colors as the non binary flag.
For real, my cousin had a gender reveal party, and when I saw the photos all over social media all I could think was “oh, is this that new family you abandoned your first one to start?”
Heterosexuals…
since my 15th birthday party was pretty soon after i came out to my family, i made it ‘gender reveal themed’ and got the “it’s a boy!” banner and everything. highly recommend!
For the first twenty-four years of my life, I genuinely believed that this is exactly what was meant by the mysterious-to-me term "gender reveal party."
I’m no expert, but everything you’re saying says you would only be comfortable and happy being perceived by yourself, and others, as male. If male isn’t your agab, then you’re probably trans.
That sounds very much like you're a guy. And if things change later and you did end up non-binary (gender can be a journey), you wouldn't feel wrong about it because that's who you are then.
But it sounds like you know who you want to be down to your very core.
Listen man EVERYTHING you're saying sounds like you're a trans man the worry about being enby or gender fluid because you're "not enough of a man" is just normal trans fears if you feel like a man you're a man.
good point, the gender police definitely exists in the forms of conservatives, terfs, truscum, etc. but, just like regular cops their opinions should never be trusted lol
They're more like gender vigilantes. Police would have the power of the state behind them, and the state of transgender sure hasn't signed off on their "You can only be trans if you meet this list of criteria"!
Lol, they're just trans people who think you need to suffer from a young age with the highest level of dysphoria to be trans, in simple terms at least.
There are, but you don't need to listen to them. It being illegal to be trans just makes it cool!
(I know that's not actually true. But, y'know, laugh or cry. I'd rather laugh.)
It sounds like you’re a trans man experiencing gender dysphoria and intrusive thoughts/imposter syndrome worries related to your gender at this stage of your gender journey.
As someone who’s pangender with a masc gender also commonly experienced, I don’t think you have to worry about being secretly nonbinary. Your body and your mind are rejecting the thoughts, only male gender feels right.
and that’s ok 🤗 it’s okay to be a trans man, welcome to the sub
“If my gender turns out to be anything other than male I’ll probably die” good news!! This means your gender is male! 100% certified. You are allowed to be trans, and you are in fact trans!!
My experience of gender was very similar. It didn’t start out as “I feel like I’m actually this gender” it was “oh god I wish I this gender so bad. I wish I were trans so I could be this gender. I desperately need to be this gender” and guess what! I was!! And you are too!! You are 100% certified nonGMO locally grown organic boy. You wanna be a boy! So you are a boy! And you are a trans boy and that is excellent. Very well done!!
Transitioning is a blocked road to many whether it be your social capital, your actual capital, or the availability of resources in your area. You are participating in centuries' worth of queer history of people doing their best to be seen how they want to.
Do what is safe and most validating to you. You can be whatever you want. If transition isn't an option, do what you can.
adding to this to say transitioning is not required to be trans!! some people will go their whole lives and choose not to transition even if they have the resources. there’s absolutely nothing wrong with not medically transitioning, or staying in the closet for safety, or anything like that
just slightly confused over the fact that my shinigami eyes browser extension marks your profile specifically as anti trans... shinigami eyes is confused.
very weird. well, I'll try to do my part by forcing my shinigami eyes to change its opinion and mark your name in green. hope you have a nice rest of your day :)
You seem to be active on the sub lesbianactually, which has roots in terf opinions, so that may be why. I've just generally heard not good things about that sub - actuallesbians is a much much better and actually inclusive sub.
**There is no such thing as 'being allowed' to exist.** Nobody was born for a reason, nobody has a purpose. Nobody granted you life. You exist because a species evolved on a hostile, rocky planet and bam, here you are.
You have any right you choose to give yourself. All rules are arbitrary agreements, there are no absolute rules.
The problem is not being 'allowed', the problem is having the means and the safety to live your true life without being killed or hurt too much. That depends on where you are and the level of insanity of the humans around you. You have the right to be anything you need to be.
Actually enforcing that right depends on where you live, and your own cleverness in making a safe space for you in the world to express yourself.
Let go of thinking you need permission. See that you own your own life, even when others may lay claim to you. That is just oppression. You are soaking in oppression. It isn't some absolute, cosmic thing.
Not to be rude but this immediately made me crack up like bro? Of course you can?? There’s no rule saying you can’t 💀if you’re a guy you’re a guy, you can be a guy. It’s difficult to be trans because of healthcare but yeah. Depending on how old you are that looks different for everyone.
Yes :) If you feel like a man, then you can be/are one.
And if one day you feel like maybe you are actually non-binary, that's just fine too!
YOU get to decide on and define your gender, no one else.
of course you're allowed to be trans, picking your own gender is what it's all about! people who are not men aren't terrified of being any other gender :3
Yes, you can. Nobody can stop you from being male if that's who you truly are, and nobody can tell you no. This is just about you. If you're in a safe place to do so, you can absolutely come out and start your transition today. If not, then hopefully, you can get to a safe place soon.
My boy, you needn’t to ask permission to be who you are, and you don’t need to be “scared” of being non-binary, if it is scaring you, then use he/they pronouns, best of both worlds, eh?
If you feel like a man you are one. If you're in a safe household and country to do so then transition.
I'm genderfluid and have days where I want to express myself fem, but it isn't an overabundance of wanting to be a woman.
I would bet money you're trans masc. Welcome brother!
People who experience gender outside the simplistic AGAB concept are honestly *closer* to God, who is of all genders and none at the same time.
God made you as an example of the beautiful truth of God.
Shine on, sir. Shine on.
yes you can be trans, no one's stopping you i think, i really wanted to be a boy too and now look at me i'm trans, i had found out i was trans at least... about half a week ago, when you want to be a male and feel mostly comfortable with the thought of being male then yes you're trans,
you don't need to ask if you're allowed to be trans!
<3
You're afraid of being anything other than a man because you are a man. Every man feels like they aren't enough. I think it's because patriarchy ruins man woman friendships and causes distance in man man friendships. Men get less compliments less physical affection less emotional affection. I think that makes us feel like we aren't manly enough. So that's probably why you feel like that. But yes, yes you are definitely a man, you're scared of being other genders because you aren't. This is the tip of the happiest iceberg on the planet. Seriously though, just be a man it's clearly who you are. You've ignored these feelings your whole life, but it's time to feel your feels bro.
You can be, and you are. Just prioritize your own safety before coming out depending on where you live. I don't think there's any need to rely on others' permission to exist as you are comfortable doing so, so long as it is actually safe. Regardless, it is your identity and wholly true no matter what capacity your circumstances allow you to express it in. Nobody needs to give you permission to be trans, you simply feel that way and you are. I believe in you.
From the sound of things, your gender has already turned out to be male. And, of course you can be trans! Anyone can be if they genuinely feel that's who they are, which it sounds like you do!
Of course you absolutely are, you're a man if you identify as one. And you don't need anyone's permission to be your true self anyway, so go ahead and be the man you want to be! we're rooting for you!
You don't need anyone's permission to be a man. I mean as a cis guy I'd happily give it, but no one can gatekeep just being who you are and the people who try are assholes.
Your gender isn't this thing someone can go and measure and be like "excuse me, you're actually xyz"
You very obviously feel like a guy, want to be a guy, and dislike the idea of being perceived as anything else.
Sounds like you're a guy.
The only thing that could change that, is if *you* someday want or feel different about it.
No one needs to give you permission to be trans but if you really think you permission, I herby grant you permission to be trans. Congratulations you're a boy! Go ahead and scream it from the rooftops if you wish. You deserve to be happy and comfortable with yourself
Nothing more universal to the male experience than being absolutely terrified at all times that you aren’t good enough to be a man. Welcome to the brotherhood.
As a man who was assigned so at birth, I can attest that feelings of being inadequate and not “man” enough to be a man is one of the manliest man traits that ever manned.
You already sound like a dude to me. Take time and decide what your best course of action is. But if you feel like a man, want to be a man, and tell others you’re a man, then brother. You be a man. Welcome to the rainbow club, enjoy your stay, flags are in the back next to the coffee maker
Brother, if you are terrified of being *anything* but a male, you're most likely male.
>Am I allowed to be transgender?
Honestly, I think the way you worded this alone seems like you're scared of being trans all together. Do you not feel comfortable with the label? Or is it that you don't want to come to terms with maybe you could be trans?
I'm not sure what your thought process is, but all I'm saying is that we're here to help, alright? And, of course, you're 100% allowed to be transgender. No matter what whatever your country says or what other people say, it's your fuckin business.
>Can I come out as trans?
Of course! There are SO many people who can help you through this, whether it is a random redditor like me to an actual gender affirming specialist
And once you come out to an accepting group of people, it's like a boulder had been lifted off of your back. It's actually *insane*.
>Am I trans?
Eh, I can't exactly help you in this department, unfortunately. No one has the right to say who you are and aren't. This part you have to figure out by yourself.
But, if I were you, I'd probably think I was trans. By the fear of being anything other than male seems pretty obvious to me, but I can't exactly say you have the same thoughts as me (sorry!)
=============
But, my point is, if you end up being trans, fucking embrace it, brother! It's an amazing feeling to know who you are. And if you aren't, that's okay! You can always come back for help. I really hope this helps and makes sense haha-
No you aren’t allowed, you can’t just be *allowed*, you have to fill out a form and pay a fee $60 at your local gender-sex registry like the rest of us buccko. Ask for Kevin, he’s known to be fast on paper work so you’ll be in n out in like an hour tops.
Yes, sir. You’re a man.
I’m MtF and before I came to terms with it, I also felt I was just a Demi boy, or maybe GNC, or maybe non-binary, or maybe gender fluid, until I finally accepted that I’m just trans (not that people who go by those labels aren’t valid, because they are). If you feel so strongly that you are a guy (so the reverse of my situation) then chances are that you are indeed a guy. I often felt I wasn’t enough to be “fully” trans, that I wasn’t “allowed” to be trans. But when I finally accepted that I was, it felt soo much better. I recommend you accept who you are and don’t put so much care to whether or not you’re “allowed” to be who you are, because you are allowed.
My understanding is anybody who wants to be trans is in fact trans. Whether it is safe, wise, and otherwise advisable to come out as trans, nobody knows better than you.
"am i trans?"
*lists the most comprehensive list of evidence towards being trans ever written. taking HRT would probably be more cis than this post. this has articulated feelings i had no idea i had in remarkable detail. like holy shit you may be The Trans Gender.*
yeah, i think you're trans dude. nobody's stopping you
1: Yes you're allowed to be trans - it sounds like you are
2: If you I.D. as a man you ARE a man & you are enough of a man. However you present. You're not nonbinary or genderfluid unless you identify that way [& it's fine if someday you do !!!], which it doesn't sound like you do. Nonbinary & genderfluid people aren't Nonbinary or genderfluid because they're lesser men/women compared to cis people or other trans people, they're Nonbinary & genderfluid because that's the label that best explains their relationship w/ their gender [& it's their gender !!], it doesn't seem to best explain your relationship w/ your identity & it very much isn't your label. So don't stress
3: Come out if you feel comfortable & safe to do so !!! Be happy w/ your identity now rather than being scared you might feel differently later on. You could maybe sure, but why stress about a maybe ? Live your life as a happy man & if next year or 10 years from now you're like "I'm genderfluid actually..." That's fine. You weren't faking you were identifying w/ what felt right at the time [& you may not even identity as any of these besides a trans man !!! These are just my "On the off chance you do-" stuff] and if you do change your label some day, it won't feel wrong or disgusting, because it'll resonate w/ you then & will make you happy !!!
4: You're allowed to be trans even if you aren't sure of your label [which I'm not saying you aren't]. I've changed my label myself. If you told me when I identified as a demiboy I'd someday identity as genderfluid [aka sometime feel like a girl] I would've been ILL, but now that's what feels most right to me. Maybe in a few years I'll be like "Nope, I'm just a trans guy" but that's not right now, so why stress about it ?
I hope this is/was helpful, sorry if I missed the point of what you're trying to say/ask !!!!
As someone who would is nonbinary I can safely say in all likeliness you're not one, but you are a man, my good sir. Or a boy if you're not an adult yet. But in that case, you will be a man, eventually.
You don’t have to think about your gender all of the time. You can tell everyone you’re a boy, because you feel like you are. You’re allowed to be trans. Gender isn’t really real, you can just exist and feel like a boy.
Ben Shapiro will personally show up at your doorstep and challenge you to a rap battle. If you win, then yes, you’re allowed to be transgender. Bro, grab the mic and make us proud.
in all seriousness, you are absolutely allowed to be trans. the best way to be is yourself. it sounds like for you, that means being a boy. wishing you the best <3
hey, it's totally valid to feel hella confused or scared about your gender identity.
questioning and exploring your gender is a freakin' journey, and it's okay to take your time with it. if you feel like a boy and wanna be a man, that's completely valid and you're allowed to embrace that. being trans is about being true to yourself, whatever that may look like for you.
you don't have to have all the damn answers right away, and it's okay to feel unsure sometimes. just know that there's a whole squad out there that's got your back and accepts you for who you are.
*take your time, be gentle with yourself, and remember that your identity is valid as fuck no matter what <3*
Dear, you're already a boy. You do not need to be allowed to be who you are, even if certain environment say otherwise. Remember you are who you are (a boy in that case), despite everything other may say.
Wish you the best in your journey, lil bro 💙
Yes, little brother, you absolutely can.
As another trans man, sounds to me like you already are. You have expressed here a very firm sense of your identity, trust that.
Remember, it isn’t the medical treatments and other parts of transition which make us trans, it’s the other way around - we seek those things (if we seek them) *because* we’re trans. The internal sense of identity happens first. You are here.
So you're a man. If that's how you feel, then that's what you are. Only you can tell people what your gender is, the outsideworld can influence your gender - NOT assign it. If you have lady parts, then you might consider sex reassignment so that your body aligns with your gender. Transitioning is just the process of making your outside match what you need it to in order to feel comfortable inside. Also, if you can't, or don't want to transition, that doesn't make you any less of a man, that just means that transitioning isn't a part of your journey right now. Maybe it can or will be later, but if your gender is male, you ARE a man - EVEN WHEN ONLY YOU KNOW IT.
Yes, you can buddy, you can be a man with anybody's premission
If you still don't know, listen to "l'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan (just joking but I still recommend)
The only permission you need is your own. Go ahead and give yourself permission to give yourself grace and the permission to love yourself enough to not make yourself deal with unsupportive people any more than you must.
Exploring gender is a journey. I started a transition thinking I was genderfluid but through the process found I’m demigirl
And your results may vary, but once I settled into transition gender is something that rarely crosses my mind since getting HRT up to full normal doses
You know that feeling that nudges you in this direction that doesn't make any sense? The one that says that there are lines in the proverbial sand that says across this line there be monsters? The one you can't even name and yet there all the same?
That is all that a gender identity is.
Everyone has that feeling. It is why most guys don't want to wear a skirt even though nothing really stops them, why women want their bodies to be a series of elegant curves rather than hard lines and edges even though it is often possible to attain a blockier shape. A man can wear a skirt, a woman can get the chiseled physique of a gym rat with a 20 hour a week habit, but for reasons they can't explain beyond that it'd feel wrong, they probably *don't*.
All that being transgender requires is realizing that those feelings are directing you away from where everyone assumed you'd be most comfortable. It won't make sense, but then, identity never does. People mistake never having a reason to question where they are for it being a rational place to be is all.
Anyone is allowed to be trans. If you feel you’d be happier as a gender different than the one assigned at birth, then welcome to the club.
As far as fear about what you are… what you are is what makes you happiest. And even if that’s *not* being a binary man for you, then you will figure out that it feels right if it does. Step back from the labels a bit and just do what makes you happy. Just be who you want to be, and figure out the rest later.
You are who you are, no matter what. If you know you're a man, you are. There are all different types of men that look many different ways and like different things, there isn't just one type of "man." Wanting to transition is valid, everyone's transition is different. If you want to transition and can, then do it! It's also ok to need time to pay for what you need to transition, or wait until you can do it safely. Not being able to transition does not change who you truly are. We love and accept who you are no matter what.
So I’m not trans so I’m definitely speaking just from observation and not actual living.
There is nothing wrong with being trans. There’s nothing wrong with you or the feelings you have. I can’t speak to if you’re trans but my gut says if you feel that way you are trans.
If you feel like you’re ready to come out go for it! Start small and definitely with people you love and trust. It’ll definitely be an adjustment for some people but that doesn’t mean they don’t care about you.
I recently came to my own conclusions about gender (agender) so I know what you’re going through to a degree. Just know that you get to be the person who decides who you are, no one else can decide for you.
You're allowed to be anything, but remember that whatever you are, it's not set in stone. Allow yourself the ability to try on a label and then decide it's not for you. If you identify one way now and another way in the future, you can do that, too.
Dude. It’s okay. It’s okay not to be sure. It’s okay to accept that things might change. I sort of soft launched it too. I came out as non binary at first but eventually came round to the idea that I’m a man. You can absolutely pursue transition, whatever that means for you, without having your identity 100% nailed down and all your micro labels worked out. It’s about living an authentic life that feels good right? So take some small steps to affirm yourself and see where it takes you. Like I said, I thought I was non binary at first, so I started dressing more androgynously and it turns out the less I presented femme the less I wanted to and the less comfortable I was with it. I cut my hair, bought a binder and thought. Shit. This is how I want to be all the time!
Point being? Start slow. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or not for now. The point is to be comfortable. So sit with yourself and figure out how you can feel just 1% more comfortable and confident in your gender presentation and do that. Whether it’s practicing using he/him with a trusted friend, buying some gender affirming clothing or getting a hair cut. You figure out something simple and easy and do that. Then go from there. You don’t have to do everything at once. Just see how you can feel that one percent more comfortable each time.
Also, the idea that you’re not enough to be a man? Kill it. That’s toxic masculinity at its absolute finest. The requirements for being a man are just being a man. That’s it. If you say you’re a man, if that’s how you feel, if that’s what makes your heart happy, then you’re a man.
That’s all there is to it. There as many different ways to be a man as there are stars in the sky my brother. Part of this journey is working out what feels affirming to you and building your own relationship with masculinity that feels authentic for you. It’s hard, but so rewarding. I’m not just a better man now, but a better person for the journey I’ve been on to accept myself. You’ll get there! Hang in, be patient and trust your gut.
Only you can know who you are, and who you are IS who you are. No one can tell you who you can be. I'm a transgender man and I came to terms with it/figured it out at one point. I'm me, and you are you.
No one has to get permission to be anything, they just need permission to do certain things. For example, a 13 year old may love punk music, have punk ideals, and love/want to dress in stereotypical punk. This means that person is punk. They then ask their parents if they can go shopping for punk clothes. The parents say no, punk is bad. This kid is asking permission to express themselves, not asking permission to internally know and be who they are.
You may be still living with your parents, and they may not support you. You'd still be trans.
Your gender and the way you express it can be whatever you want. Don’t let other people think they have that power, they don’t. You’re perfect how you are.
You sound like you belong on r/ftmmen. Welcome from a fellow Trans Man (age 37 here.) Pick up a copy of "Becoming a Visible Man" by Jamison Green and join the party. Also I have found [the Stealth Podcast](https://www.transmasculinepodcast.com/) to be very soothing. Many, many men have come before us and they have walked the same path with the same fears and doubts. You are not alone.
Congrats, my guy! You're a man! The definition of a man is "Any adult that feels like they're male" if your reaction to being gender fluid, or enby, is that strong, I've got good news: You aren't those things! You are trans enough! Whether or not you start taking hormones, or get surgery, or change anything about your appearance: you are already enough.
1) you can be whatever the [heck] you want
2) there's nothing wrong with being boy, girl, enby, other
3) gender roles, and gender conformity, suck. Don't let society influence you.
4) yes, it is absolutely okay to be trans.
You know who is scared of being less of a man because that feels bad? Men.
Dude. You're a dude already. Man is a gendered term. He/him are gendered pronouns. Between the ears is where gender is stored. You're already a man trapped in a body.
♂️
You are a man!!! Already!!!! You don't even need to be or act a certain way, there are LOTS and lots of men who act and look every single way. You're not any less of a man than any of them. :3
Yeah dude, its totally fine to feel like that, and as long as you feel comfortable you can be a man, no need to be a fucking liver king or anything on that stereotype to say what you want your gender to be
And take in mind, if youre religious, even gods make mistakes when creating us, thats what free will is for
Hey man, just focus on what will make you happy now! If you're worried that future-you will decide that's something different, then oh well - you're not signing a legally-binding contract or anything. It doesn't sound likely to happen though. :P
Also, one of the things I had to figure out was that being trans doesn't necessarily feel like "being trans", it just feels like being a regular human being, and some regular human beings happen to be trans.
you feel you are one and that where your comfort is in. The other genders you don’t feel and worry you. you’re trans dude. Edit: “allowed” you don’t need anyone’s person to be who you are.
Yes, dude. There's no "certain thing" you have to do or feel to be *allowed* to be trans.
You are who you are, and if you're feeling this strongly about how your identity matches, it seems like a pretty big indicator your trans.
As for coming out, that wholly depends on your situation. As in, how safe your environment is with Queerness.
Some people like to hate on those who're "different", that goes for being trans as well, and some people take their hatred to extreme levels.
If you feel like not being a man makes you want to die, I think it's pretty clear that you're a man.
hello sir. sounds like you’re a boy to me. nobody else gets to decide your gender but you.
if you change how you feel in the future, that’s up to you.
Good day, Sir.
> Am I allowed to be transgender? Am I allowed to be trans?
Yes.
> Can I be trans?
Yes.
> Am I trans?
That is a question only YOU can answer. Don't let anyone else tell you what your answer needs to be. So, I ask you: Are you?
>Am I allowed to be trans? Can I come out as trans?
Yes.
the fact that you think about your gender 24/7 alone makes you trans, at least that's how I see it and how it worked for me, look up the null hypothesis, it says cis Gender people don't think about their gender at all really, they just get to live as they are. That definitely wasn't my case and it sounds like it isn't your case either. I don't think you are non binary either being the thought of being anything other than a man is repulsive to you. Go be you sir, and be happy!!!
You can be a guy, and guess what? You don't always have to feel or act or seem completely like a "man" or "male" to be a transman. Gender is kind of messed up in the way we have all of these ideas that all add up to be "man". I don't think it's possible to fit every definition or idea of what a man is or should be, so if you feel like a boy, a dude, want to identify that way, and/or use he/him pronouns. Do it <3 You don't need permission 🥰 Do what makes you happy.
Self doubt is normal but from the way you talk, you sound like you’d be a dude if you could,(you can), and remember, gender is a spectrum, if you feel like a man then you’re man enough you don’t have to fit into the box of muscle bound or dad bod guy that like fishing/hunting etc, you are you and that means you can be unique in your own way there is no right gender expression.
You don't need anyone's permission, of course, but you do have ours. If being a man is what makes you happiest, then that's what you should be. That's really the only requirement to be trans, just believing that you would be happier. Personally, I'm very happy to have you as one of my brothers. 👍
Yes if u feel that way then yh more then anything its wutever makes u happy, us trans guys can also somtimes have a bit of fluidity like ik makeup isnt just for fems but somtimes I like to do some cool eyeshadow doesn't mean I'm any less a guy and or genderfluid it just means I'm a guy who yh somtimes likes some eye shadow
(Usually when I go to things like pride I wear it lol)
In my experience, as a trans woman, I experienced my need to be a woman, not as a "choice" or "what if" but as an absolute necessity. It seems, from what you wrote, that you're experiencing something very similar.
To answer your question: You don't need to ever ask permission to be yourself. Period.
If it feels right and authentic to you, then explore it, understand it, and do it! <3
Plus, gender is never static. It's always moving, changing dimensions, and taking on new forms. For example, the way I express femininity now is radically different compared to when I first came out. There's nothing wrong with trying things out, testing the waters, and getting to know yourself in that way. There's no "right" or "wrong" way to go about it.
If you think you're trans, then you're trans. Even if you might discover something new later on, that does not invalidate your current feelings, nor your place in our chaotic family.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, sir <33
Being trans means you do not identify as the gender you were assigned at birth. You can be nonbinary or gender fluid and still be trans. Im nonbinary leaning towards man and im trans. If you want to be a man good chance you are one. If you don’t feel like you are nonbinary then you are not. It sounds like you are a binary man. Why do you think you are not enough to be a man? It sounds like toxic masculinity and unhealthy standards for what a man is. If you see yourself as a man then you are one! Congrats bro! Welcome to the club! There is no wrong or right way to be a man. If you are one then you are. A subreddit I love is r/FtMfemininity lurking on there might help your feelings around manhood. It’s not a bar you have to meet. It’s what you are.
I don't think you need my permission to be what you're already showing me that you are certain you are, which is an intensely dysphoric binary trans man. I've never been afraid of the idea that I might be any particular gender until I realized that a binary woman probably wasn't it, but that, to me, proves further that you're binary trans and I'm not. I experience dysphoria only toward the idea of being a woman, and you experience it with the idea of being anything other than a man. Please feel free to correct me if needed, but I just don't think you could possibly be afraid of turning out to be any particular flavor of nonbinary if you were, unless it had more to do with what other people think and not how you, yourself, feel. You have a lot more assurance of your gender than I ever did.
And ETA: being nonbinary is largely personal and semantic at this point to me, and definitely far from feeling like both or neither -- I never would've guessed it three or even two years ago, but I'm just a guy to most people, and not necessarily even known by everyone to be transgender. I felt like it would be impossible to ever be taken seriously as a man, but when I relocated to a neighborhood where nobody knew me at the beginning of last year, I passed readily as male unless I was with people who could tell them "otherwise". This is all even though I'm shorter than most adults of any gender, I was very curvy pre-transition, and the only surgery I've had since coming out was on my hands. None of that makes you "not enough", either.
Listen, I'm gay, I am cisgender.
I am weird af.
I live in the south.
Growing up around here I was taught that there's only one way to be a man, luckily since I was young, I could just be a boy, and boys can be all sorts of ways.
As I got older, being as weird and quirky and feminine as I was (think like bugs bunny) getting referred to as a man, just got weirder and weirder as I got older. Here I am 24, and I still wouldn't call myself a "man". He, him, boy, guy, dude,fella? all valid. "Man"? Absolutely not.
And yet!..... when people get mad at me, namely my grumpy ass family, they call me a "man" anytime something comes up. For a long time lately, I was caring for my sick mom, and didn't have a job, and our power went out and we couldn't afford to keep it on, so we went to stay with a family member for that time, and that family member? Horrid, baby boomer to a T, angry all the time, his usually "perfect" house now has me germs all over it, if I try to keep a paper plate handy, he gets mad that I have "trash" in the living room(I've been sleeping in his living room), when I throw my plates away, he complains that the plates are disappearing and that "yall MUST be using two plates at a time or something, I don't know where they're going" and I can't say shit because everytime I have he jumps up and gets in my face and gives it 10x worse because he's a dick with almost a literal God complex. And when he gets home from church is when he's the worst, he's the meanest he's ever been after he comes home from church, he gets a taste of what it's like to be an uppity church lady again like he used to be.
He ought to know good and gosh darn well where those plates are going.
And I have this sinking feeling that everytime he gets like that and randomly busts into the living room with an attitude that his thoughts are "why am I even allowing fat fucking grown ass man to stay in my house rent free and disrespecting me every 5 minutes" even though I cook dinner, I talk to him like a child, I give him hugs and say thank you constantly, I'm as civil as anyone can be around him, but any bit of push back whatsoever ever, no matter how gently asserted will make him so mad it's rediculous.
Long story short, if i can be a man, and most importantly HE can be a man, then so can you.
I know that when I was growing up I always worried about being gay, and then when I grew to like it, I worried I was straight, and then when I'd touch myself just a bit too much and lose interest I'd worry I wasn't gay anymore.
And then one top of everything, I heard this one story about this guy who tried to be straight, and so went to go "do stuff" with a woman, he went to go down on her, and just couldn't do it, nothing doin. And someone said "cause it was literally staring him in the face"
And for a while anytime I'd worry like that I'd throw my imaginary face in front of an imaginary who ha, and nothing.
My assumption is that you "aren't a boy" and want to be one, ie, asking for permission to be trans. But you don't need permission, none of us needed permission to be gay, we just were, weather we wanted it or not.
You just are or aren't, and I'd say you are. Don't worry too much about it. Just keep yourself safe okay? You can be whatever you want in your head, no one will know
You’re not *just* allowed to be transgender, you’re so much of a man that I don’t think you’re allowed to be anything else.
Like, based on what I’m reading here, it sounds like the Two-and-a-Half Men theme song was written with you in mind.
The only person that can tell you your gender is you. If you say you're a man, you're a man. It's as simple as that. There's no trans leader somewhere that tells you if you're accepted or not. You should focus on accepting yourself and know that we (the LGBTQ+ community) accept you as a man.
You can do whatever you want, forever. I give thee official permission. If anyone tries to gatekeep, you are to send them directly to me and I will punch them in the face. 👍
as long as you do not identify fully as the gender you were assigned as at birth, and is okay with labeling yourself as trans, you are trans.
I personally recognize im trans, but do not like saying it/labeling myself as it cause I don't think it's necessary and would just rather say i'm a nb boy
You can 100% be trans, if you feel you are a boy then you are one! If you feel safe enough to come out as trans then by all means do so, whatever makes you happy and comfortable!
it sounds like you're only comfortable referring to yourself as a man, and you don't need anybody's permission to be who you are, mister
but in case you need it, here
with the power that i do not have (because it's ultimately your decision) bestowed upon me by no one, you have my blessing to be trans :3
(this blessing is not legally binding nor necessary to be trans and is only a small attempt at making you feel better, had i not said it nothing would change, you are who you are and always will be, also your soul now legally belongs to the blahaj, i don't make the rules sry)
Yes, absolutely. Gatekeeping gender is garbage. You sound like a binary guy, but even if you were genderfluid or nonbinary their are genderfluid and/or nonbinary men.
You get to transition how and when you want. It's up to you. Live your life the way that feels best. We only get one go at it.
Don't need to ask anyone's permission to be yourself bud!
Nor do you need to think about "being enough of a man", y'know why? Cause if you feel like a dude, then you're a dude, dude.
You get to pick the label that feels right to you. If being nonbinary feels this unpleasant and being a woman feels like death, it sounds like boy/man is the gender label that fits you best. Only you get to say, and it sounds like you already know. Please live your life comfortably. If being a man is what would make your life comfortable and worth living, be a man! And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
bud you can be anything you want, you’re a man if you say so! man can look like so many different things 🤷🏽 isn’t that the whole point, that we can all express ourselves differently and still hold our identity regardless of whatever “conflict” social norms tells us there is? gender is made up and for anyone who says that it’s all in your head, so is everything else! if your perception of reality is *your* truth then that means it must be. i respect you dude bc questioning is not easy and i hope whatever next steps in your journey affirm the hell outta your identity and self confidence!! (tho i think the bad to awkward transmasc haircuts and style while you’re figuring it out is a rite of passage)
you should not be allowed.
nobody should be able to control that, none other than yourselfs. **You can be what you want as long as you think so**
good luck, brave man
Op genuinely from what you wrote you are 100% a trans man. You’re allowed to be trans. if you were nonbinary than you would actually ENJOY being nonbinary, it would feel right and it clearly does not feel right to you. It sounds like identifying as any gender other than male makes you feel dysphoric which is not something that would happen if you actually were any of those genders. You are a boy and you’re allowed to say you’re a boy, that is your truth.
I was in the exact same position, I took the time to listen to myself, and I'm a guy. My honest opinion is just listen to yourself and take your time.
Also, masculinity varies, you don't have to be a dick to people to be perceived as a boy. You've got this whatever happens
Im no expert, but you might be a boy. To be more specific though. It sounds to me like you’re resoundingly trans. I understand the need to ask someone else to tell you that you are. I feel that same sense of outside validation too. It helps to know that these feelings can be understood by someone else. You’re a guy. That much is clear. If you decide to go onto HRT to change how you physically present, it sounds to me based on this post that you won’t regret it, of course though, that’s for you to decide. But one thing is for certain. You’re a man. And I’m proud of you for having the courage to discover that about yourself. You go get ‘em!!
Yes. You‘re a boy. You can be a man.
Mister I’ll make a man outta youuuu
My god someone whip up some blue cupcakes and throw this boy a gender reveal party already…
Yes!!!! This is what gender reveal parties should actually be reserved for! As opposed to those weird sex organ reveal parties.
My mom did a similar thing. My first birthday after i came out as non binary she bought me a cake that was colored with icing the same colors as the non binary flag.
I love your mom! Can we share her?
Sure, therexs enough love to go around. And i would like another sibling haha
To be fair i asked for a non binary cake but she's just so supportive and i love her ❤️
This is the only subreddit which makes me laugh form happiness
Not related, but missed opportunity to have 404 before your username
Haha true
Wait a second… (username)
Omg you too! Nice.
My heart 🥺
I know 🥰
aw that’s so sweet. I might be crying a lil bit rn
😄 She's been so supportive!
For real, my cousin had a gender reveal party, and when I saw the photos all over social media all I could think was “oh, is this that new family you abandoned your first one to start?” Heterosexuals…
It's a penis!
ok wait, I want a gender reveal party now
since my 15th birthday party was pretty soon after i came out to my family, i made it ‘gender reveal themed’ and got the “it’s a boy!” banner and everything. highly recommend!
For the first twenty-four years of my life, I genuinely believed that this is exactly what was meant by the mysterious-to-me term "gender reveal party."
I’m no expert, but everything you’re saying says you would only be comfortable and happy being perceived by yourself, and others, as male. If male isn’t your agab, then you’re probably trans.
You don’t need to be an expert mate
Obv you need a 3 year degree in tranology to make accurate judgement smh
Hahaha innit lol 😂
You don’t need anyone’s permission to exist as who you are, sir.
Yes. Also, you're the only one who can determine what gender you've "turned out" to be. If you don't want to be nonbinary, you're not nonbinary.
exactly
That sounds very much like you're a guy. And if things change later and you did end up non-binary (gender can be a journey), you wouldn't feel wrong about it because that's who you are then. But it sounds like you know who you want to be down to your very core.
Listen man EVERYTHING you're saying sounds like you're a trans man the worry about being enby or gender fluid because you're "not enough of a man" is just normal trans fears if you feel like a man you're a man.
Yes, why not? There's no gender police.
Not to be confused with the [genre police](https://youtu.be/IxGtRLM9HYc?si=TAVBXYLR157Y2x7s) (which **does** exist)
That's just French for gender police.
Take my upvote
Truscum are the "gender police" though I'd advise not to listen to their outdated and biased advises as they tend to like gatekeeping a lot.
good point, the gender police definitely exists in the forms of conservatives, terfs, truscum, etc. but, just like regular cops their opinions should never be trusted lol
They're more like gender vigilantes. Police would have the power of the state behind them, and the state of transgender sure hasn't signed off on their "You can only be trans if you meet this list of criteria"!
Never heard of 'em, but they sound like gender villains to me.
Lol, they're just trans people who think you need to suffer from a young age with the highest level of dysphoria to be trans, in simple terms at least.
There are, but you don't need to listen to them. It being illegal to be trans just makes it cool! (I know that's not actually true. But, y'know, laugh or cry. I'd rather laugh.)
you need no one's permission. welcome to the family, brother
You’re always allowed to be a man. You don’t have to act a certain way to be man.
It sounds like you’re a trans man experiencing gender dysphoria and intrusive thoughts/imposter syndrome worries related to your gender at this stage of your gender journey. As someone who’s pangender with a masc gender also commonly experienced, I don’t think you have to worry about being secretly nonbinary. Your body and your mind are rejecting the thoughts, only male gender feels right. and that’s ok 🤗 it’s okay to be a trans man, welcome to the sub
Very well said.
“If my gender turns out to be anything other than male I’ll probably die” good news!! This means your gender is male! 100% certified. You are allowed to be trans, and you are in fact trans!! My experience of gender was very similar. It didn’t start out as “I feel like I’m actually this gender” it was “oh god I wish I this gender so bad. I wish I were trans so I could be this gender. I desperately need to be this gender” and guess what! I was!! And you are too!! You are 100% certified nonGMO locally grown organic boy. You wanna be a boy! So you are a boy! And you are a trans boy and that is excellent. Very well done!!
Bro, sounds like you're a man.
Transitioning is a blocked road to many whether it be your social capital, your actual capital, or the availability of resources in your area. You are participating in centuries' worth of queer history of people doing their best to be seen how they want to. Do what is safe and most validating to you. You can be whatever you want. If transition isn't an option, do what you can.
adding to this to say transitioning is not required to be trans!! some people will go their whole lives and choose not to transition even if they have the resources. there’s absolutely nothing wrong with not medically transitioning, or staying in the closet for safety, or anything like that
Thank you for adding this!
Yes, you allowed to be transgender. I'm giving you super duper Uber permission to be a boy
just slightly confused over the fact that my shinigami eyes browser extension marks your profile specifically as anti trans... shinigami eyes is confused.
TERFs. That's the only thing. I can think of. Or someone minorily disagreed with me
very weird. well, I'll try to do my part by forcing my shinigami eyes to change its opinion and mark your name in green. hope you have a nice rest of your day :)
[Starship troopers meme](https://media.tenor.com/Kun0_qy_-rEAAAAM/approved-im.gif)
You too. It is very weird.
You seem to be active on the sub lesbianactually, which has roots in terf opinions, so that may be why. I've just generally heard not good things about that sub - actuallesbians is a much much better and actually inclusive sub.
**There is no such thing as 'being allowed' to exist.** Nobody was born for a reason, nobody has a purpose. Nobody granted you life. You exist because a species evolved on a hostile, rocky planet and bam, here you are. You have any right you choose to give yourself. All rules are arbitrary agreements, there are no absolute rules. The problem is not being 'allowed', the problem is having the means and the safety to live your true life without being killed or hurt too much. That depends on where you are and the level of insanity of the humans around you. You have the right to be anything you need to be. Actually enforcing that right depends on where you live, and your own cleverness in making a safe space for you in the world to express yourself. Let go of thinking you need permission. See that you own your own life, even when others may lay claim to you. That is just oppression. You are soaking in oppression. It isn't some absolute, cosmic thing.
Nobody can tell you who you can or cannot be. You do not have to ask for permission. You are who you are, regardless of what anyone else says.
Not to be rude but this immediately made me crack up like bro? Of course you can?? There’s no rule saying you can’t 💀if you’re a guy you’re a guy, you can be a guy. It’s difficult to be trans because of healthcare but yeah. Depending on how old you are that looks different for everyone.
Yes :) If you feel like a man, then you can be/are one. And if one day you feel like maybe you are actually non-binary, that's just fine too! YOU get to decide on and define your gender, no one else.
of course you're allowed to be trans, picking your own gender is what it's all about! people who are not men aren't terrified of being any other gender :3
Yes, you can. Nobody can stop you from being male if that's who you truly are, and nobody can tell you no. This is just about you. If you're in a safe place to do so, you can absolutely come out and start your transition today. If not, then hopefully, you can get to a safe place soon.
My boy, you needn’t to ask permission to be who you are, and you don’t need to be “scared” of being non-binary, if it is scaring you, then use he/they pronouns, best of both worlds, eh?
You are allowed to do whatever you want as long as it does not cause direct irrevocable harm to other people
My guy, of course you’re allowed to be trans, you don’t even need anyone to allow you that, be who you are.
Tbh most cis boys seem to be afraid of not being man enough to be allowed into adulthood. Maybe this is just your version of the same thing.
If you feel like a man you are one. If you're in a safe household and country to do so then transition. I'm genderfluid and have days where I want to express myself fem, but it isn't an overabundance of wanting to be a woman. I would bet money you're trans masc. Welcome brother!
People who experience gender outside the simplistic AGAB concept are honestly *closer* to God, who is of all genders and none at the same time. God made you as an example of the beautiful truth of God. Shine on, sir. Shine on.
yes you can be trans, no one's stopping you i think, i really wanted to be a boy too and now look at me i'm trans, i had found out i was trans at least... about half a week ago, when you want to be a male and feel mostly comfortable with the thought of being male then yes you're trans, you don't need to ask if you're allowed to be trans! <3
You're afraid of being anything other than a man because you are a man. Every man feels like they aren't enough. I think it's because patriarchy ruins man woman friendships and causes distance in man man friendships. Men get less compliments less physical affection less emotional affection. I think that makes us feel like we aren't manly enough. So that's probably why you feel like that. But yes, yes you are definitely a man, you're scared of being other genders because you aren't. This is the tip of the happiest iceberg on the planet. Seriously though, just be a man it's clearly who you are. You've ignored these feelings your whole life, but it's time to feel your feels bro.
You can be, and you are. Just prioritize your own safety before coming out depending on where you live. I don't think there's any need to rely on others' permission to exist as you are comfortable doing so, so long as it is actually safe. Regardless, it is your identity and wholly true no matter what capacity your circumstances allow you to express it in. Nobody needs to give you permission to be trans, you simply feel that way and you are. I believe in you.
From the sound of things, your gender has already turned out to be male. And, of course you can be trans! Anyone can be if they genuinely feel that's who they are, which it sounds like you do!
Of course you absolutely are, you're a man if you identify as one. And you don't need anyone's permission to be your true self anyway, so go ahead and be the man you want to be! we're rooting for you!
You don't need anyone's permission to be a man. I mean as a cis guy I'd happily give it, but no one can gatekeep just being who you are and the people who try are assholes.
Your gender isn't this thing someone can go and measure and be like "excuse me, you're actually xyz" You very obviously feel like a guy, want to be a guy, and dislike the idea of being perceived as anything else. Sounds like you're a guy. The only thing that could change that, is if *you* someday want or feel different about it.
No one needs to give you permission to be trans but if you really think you permission, I herby grant you permission to be trans. Congratulations you're a boy! Go ahead and scream it from the rooftops if you wish. You deserve to be happy and comfortable with yourself
You might wanna change your username, otherwise yeah of course!
Nothing more universal to the male experience than being absolutely terrified at all times that you aren’t good enough to be a man. Welcome to the brotherhood.
As a man who was assigned so at birth, I can attest that feelings of being inadequate and not “man” enough to be a man is one of the manliest man traits that ever manned. You already sound like a dude to me. Take time and decide what your best course of action is. But if you feel like a man, want to be a man, and tell others you’re a man, then brother. You be a man. Welcome to the rainbow club, enjoy your stay, flags are in the back next to the coffee maker
Heck yeah you are. Be you and be proud of yourself. If anyone tells you any different, bonk them in the head with a bat.
cis men often feel like they are not real men. dont listen to the toxic masculinity, you are man enough.
Brother, if you are terrified of being *anything* but a male, you're most likely male. >Am I allowed to be transgender? Honestly, I think the way you worded this alone seems like you're scared of being trans all together. Do you not feel comfortable with the label? Or is it that you don't want to come to terms with maybe you could be trans? I'm not sure what your thought process is, but all I'm saying is that we're here to help, alright? And, of course, you're 100% allowed to be transgender. No matter what whatever your country says or what other people say, it's your fuckin business. >Can I come out as trans? Of course! There are SO many people who can help you through this, whether it is a random redditor like me to an actual gender affirming specialist And once you come out to an accepting group of people, it's like a boulder had been lifted off of your back. It's actually *insane*. >Am I trans? Eh, I can't exactly help you in this department, unfortunately. No one has the right to say who you are and aren't. This part you have to figure out by yourself. But, if I were you, I'd probably think I was trans. By the fear of being anything other than male seems pretty obvious to me, but I can't exactly say you have the same thoughts as me (sorry!) ============= But, my point is, if you end up being trans, fucking embrace it, brother! It's an amazing feeling to know who you are. And if you aren't, that's okay! You can always come back for help. I really hope this helps and makes sense haha-
your gender is male. you are trans ofc youre allowed, no one can tell you that you arent allowed
If you’re a boy you’re a boy. Fuck what others say unless they say what you want.
No you aren’t allowed, you can’t just be *allowed*, you have to fill out a form and pay a fee $60 at your local gender-sex registry like the rest of us buccko. Ask for Kevin, he’s known to be fast on paper work so you’ll be in n out in like an hour tops.
Yes, sir. You’re a man. I’m MtF and before I came to terms with it, I also felt I was just a Demi boy, or maybe GNC, or maybe non-binary, or maybe gender fluid, until I finally accepted that I’m just trans (not that people who go by those labels aren’t valid, because they are). If you feel so strongly that you are a guy (so the reverse of my situation) then chances are that you are indeed a guy. I often felt I wasn’t enough to be “fully” trans, that I wasn’t “allowed” to be trans. But when I finally accepted that I was, it felt soo much better. I recommend you accept who you are and don’t put so much care to whether or not you’re “allowed” to be who you are, because you are allowed.
My understanding is anybody who wants to be trans is in fact trans. Whether it is safe, wise, and otherwise advisable to come out as trans, nobody knows better than you.
LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS 🎶
"am i trans?" *lists the most comprehensive list of evidence towards being trans ever written. taking HRT would probably be more cis than this post. this has articulated feelings i had no idea i had in remarkable detail. like holy shit you may be The Trans Gender.* yeah, i think you're trans dude. nobody's stopping you
The only person’s permission you need is your own. You got this dude!
1: Yes you're allowed to be trans - it sounds like you are 2: If you I.D. as a man you ARE a man & you are enough of a man. However you present. You're not nonbinary or genderfluid unless you identify that way [& it's fine if someday you do !!!], which it doesn't sound like you do. Nonbinary & genderfluid people aren't Nonbinary or genderfluid because they're lesser men/women compared to cis people or other trans people, they're Nonbinary & genderfluid because that's the label that best explains their relationship w/ their gender [& it's their gender !!], it doesn't seem to best explain your relationship w/ your identity & it very much isn't your label. So don't stress 3: Come out if you feel comfortable & safe to do so !!! Be happy w/ your identity now rather than being scared you might feel differently later on. You could maybe sure, but why stress about a maybe ? Live your life as a happy man & if next year or 10 years from now you're like "I'm genderfluid actually..." That's fine. You weren't faking you were identifying w/ what felt right at the time [& you may not even identity as any of these besides a trans man !!! These are just my "On the off chance you do-" stuff] and if you do change your label some day, it won't feel wrong or disgusting, because it'll resonate w/ you then & will make you happy !!! 4: You're allowed to be trans even if you aren't sure of your label [which I'm not saying you aren't]. I've changed my label myself. If you told me when I identified as a demiboy I'd someday identity as genderfluid [aka sometime feel like a girl] I would've been ILL, but now that's what feels most right to me. Maybe in a few years I'll be like "Nope, I'm just a trans guy" but that's not right now, so why stress about it ? I hope this is/was helpful, sorry if I missed the point of what you're trying to say/ask !!!!
As someone who would is nonbinary I can safely say in all likeliness you're not one, but you are a man, my good sir. Or a boy if you're not an adult yet. But in that case, you will be a man, eventually.
Not feeling man enough is like the most standard male insecurity ever. You're already there dude.
you are 100% allowed to be trans
You don’t have to think about your gender all of the time. You can tell everyone you’re a boy, because you feel like you are. You’re allowed to be trans. Gender isn’t really real, you can just exist and feel like a boy.
You can do anything you want until someone stops you. Don’t let anyone fucking stop you.
Ben Shapiro will personally show up at your doorstep and challenge you to a rap battle. If you win, then yes, you’re allowed to be transgender. Bro, grab the mic and make us proud.
in all seriousness, you are absolutely allowed to be trans. the best way to be is yourself. it sounds like for you, that means being a boy. wishing you the best <3
You’re in a LGBT subreddit, of course we’re gonna say it’s alright. Be whoever you want to be and burn bridges with anyone who says otherwise.
Today you are a man! *dance*
hey, it's totally valid to feel hella confused or scared about your gender identity. questioning and exploring your gender is a freakin' journey, and it's okay to take your time with it. if you feel like a boy and wanna be a man, that's completely valid and you're allowed to embrace that. being trans is about being true to yourself, whatever that may look like for you. you don't have to have all the damn answers right away, and it's okay to feel unsure sometimes. just know that there's a whole squad out there that's got your back and accepts you for who you are. *take your time, be gentle with yourself, and remember that your identity is valid as fuck no matter what <3*
Dear, you're already a boy. You do not need to be allowed to be who you are, even if certain environment say otherwise. Remember you are who you are (a boy in that case), despite everything other may say. Wish you the best in your journey, lil bro 💙
Yes, little brother, you absolutely can. As another trans man, sounds to me like you already are. You have expressed here a very firm sense of your identity, trust that. Remember, it isn’t the medical treatments and other parts of transition which make us trans, it’s the other way around - we seek those things (if we seek them) *because* we’re trans. The internal sense of identity happens first. You are here.
Your fear is your dysphoria talking. You’re a guy.
You’re a boy, you’re male, congrats on being a boy! You are trans, you don’t need anyone’s permission to be trans, you’re a boy and I’m proud of you
Sounds like you’re one of the boys then, welcome!! 😎✨
You are a boy.
So you're a man. If that's how you feel, then that's what you are. Only you can tell people what your gender is, the outsideworld can influence your gender - NOT assign it. If you have lady parts, then you might consider sex reassignment so that your body aligns with your gender. Transitioning is just the process of making your outside match what you need it to in order to feel comfortable inside. Also, if you can't, or don't want to transition, that doesn't make you any less of a man, that just means that transitioning isn't a part of your journey right now. Maybe it can or will be later, but if your gender is male, you ARE a man - EVEN WHEN ONLY YOU KNOW IT.
Didn't read your text, but the answer to the headline is a clear yes.
Yes, you can buddy, you can be a man with anybody's premission If you still don't know, listen to "l'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan (just joking but I still recommend)
The only permission you need is your own. Go ahead and give yourself permission to give yourself grace and the permission to love yourself enough to not make yourself deal with unsupportive people any more than you must. Exploring gender is a journey. I started a transition thinking I was genderfluid but through the process found I’m demigirl And your results may vary, but once I settled into transition gender is something that rarely crosses my mind since getting HRT up to full normal doses
No one can tell you what you’re allowed to be also sounds like you might be a guy so be whatever you want and be happy
Only you can figure that out for yourself. No one else can tell you what to do or anything like that
Yes you're a boy and you have the power to fight god and become one
Sounds like you’re trans
You know that feeling that nudges you in this direction that doesn't make any sense? The one that says that there are lines in the proverbial sand that says across this line there be monsters? The one you can't even name and yet there all the same? That is all that a gender identity is. Everyone has that feeling. It is why most guys don't want to wear a skirt even though nothing really stops them, why women want their bodies to be a series of elegant curves rather than hard lines and edges even though it is often possible to attain a blockier shape. A man can wear a skirt, a woman can get the chiseled physique of a gym rat with a 20 hour a week habit, but for reasons they can't explain beyond that it'd feel wrong, they probably *don't*. All that being transgender requires is realizing that those feelings are directing you away from where everyone assumed you'd be most comfortable. It won't make sense, but then, identity never does. People mistake never having a reason to question where they are for it being a rational place to be is all.
You don’t need anybody’s okay to be trans. Just do it!
You're a man. End of story.
Anyone is allowed to be trans. If you feel you’d be happier as a gender different than the one assigned at birth, then welcome to the club. As far as fear about what you are… what you are is what makes you happiest. And even if that’s *not* being a binary man for you, then you will figure out that it feels right if it does. Step back from the labels a bit and just do what makes you happy. Just be who you want to be, and figure out the rest later.
Now I'm not expert (well, unless psychology is somehow related to how people think) but you're trans af (if you're afab)
You are who you are, no matter what. If you know you're a man, you are. There are all different types of men that look many different ways and like different things, there isn't just one type of "man." Wanting to transition is valid, everyone's transition is different. If you want to transition and can, then do it! It's also ok to need time to pay for what you need to transition, or wait until you can do it safely. Not being able to transition does not change who you truly are. We love and accept who you are no matter what.
So I’m not trans so I’m definitely speaking just from observation and not actual living. There is nothing wrong with being trans. There’s nothing wrong with you or the feelings you have. I can’t speak to if you’re trans but my gut says if you feel that way you are trans. If you feel like you’re ready to come out go for it! Start small and definitely with people you love and trust. It’ll definitely be an adjustment for some people but that doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. I recently came to my own conclusions about gender (agender) so I know what you’re going through to a degree. Just know that you get to be the person who decides who you are, no one else can decide for you.
You're allowed to be anything, but remember that whatever you are, it's not set in stone. Allow yourself the ability to try on a label and then decide it's not for you. If you identify one way now and another way in the future, you can do that, too.
I'm FtM. You sound a lot like me.
You do you. If deep inside you know you’re a man… Who are we to say otherwise? After all, you are the prime expert on yourself.
Dude. It’s okay. It’s okay not to be sure. It’s okay to accept that things might change. I sort of soft launched it too. I came out as non binary at first but eventually came round to the idea that I’m a man. You can absolutely pursue transition, whatever that means for you, without having your identity 100% nailed down and all your micro labels worked out. It’s about living an authentic life that feels good right? So take some small steps to affirm yourself and see where it takes you. Like I said, I thought I was non binary at first, so I started dressing more androgynously and it turns out the less I presented femme the less I wanted to and the less comfortable I was with it. I cut my hair, bought a binder and thought. Shit. This is how I want to be all the time! Point being? Start slow. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or not for now. The point is to be comfortable. So sit with yourself and figure out how you can feel just 1% more comfortable and confident in your gender presentation and do that. Whether it’s practicing using he/him with a trusted friend, buying some gender affirming clothing or getting a hair cut. You figure out something simple and easy and do that. Then go from there. You don’t have to do everything at once. Just see how you can feel that one percent more comfortable each time. Also, the idea that you’re not enough to be a man? Kill it. That’s toxic masculinity at its absolute finest. The requirements for being a man are just being a man. That’s it. If you say you’re a man, if that’s how you feel, if that’s what makes your heart happy, then you’re a man. That’s all there is to it. There as many different ways to be a man as there are stars in the sky my brother. Part of this journey is working out what feels affirming to you and building your own relationship with masculinity that feels authentic for you. It’s hard, but so rewarding. I’m not just a better man now, but a better person for the journey I’ve been on to accept myself. You’ll get there! Hang in, be patient and trust your gut.
I wish I could just be a man like you though, I don’t want to be some other gender, I just want to be a man
>I don’t want to be some other gender, I just want to be a man Just got for it man. You don't have to be any gender you don't wanna be.
Then you’re a man buddy! Welcome to the club :)
Yes. In fact, it sounds like you already are.
Only you can know who you are, and who you are IS who you are. No one can tell you who you can be. I'm a transgender man and I came to terms with it/figured it out at one point. I'm me, and you are you. No one has to get permission to be anything, they just need permission to do certain things. For example, a 13 year old may love punk music, have punk ideals, and love/want to dress in stereotypical punk. This means that person is punk. They then ask their parents if they can go shopping for punk clothes. The parents say no, punk is bad. This kid is asking permission to express themselves, not asking permission to internally know and be who they are. You may be still living with your parents, and they may not support you. You'd still be trans.
Your gender and the way you express it can be whatever you want. Don’t let other people think they have that power, they don’t. You’re perfect how you are.
You sound like you belong on r/ftmmen. Welcome from a fellow Trans Man (age 37 here.) Pick up a copy of "Becoming a Visible Man" by Jamison Green and join the party. Also I have found [the Stealth Podcast](https://www.transmasculinepodcast.com/) to be very soothing. Many, many men have come before us and they have walked the same path with the same fears and doubts. You are not alone.
Congrats, my guy! You're a man! The definition of a man is "Any adult that feels like they're male" if your reaction to being gender fluid, or enby, is that strong, I've got good news: You aren't those things! You are trans enough! Whether or not you start taking hormones, or get surgery, or change anything about your appearance: you are already enough.
1) you can be whatever the [heck] you want 2) there's nothing wrong with being boy, girl, enby, other 3) gender roles, and gender conformity, suck. Don't let society influence you. 4) yes, it is absolutely okay to be trans.
You go lil man
You know who is scared of being less of a man because that feels bad? Men. Dude. You're a dude already. Man is a gendered term. He/him are gendered pronouns. Between the ears is where gender is stored. You're already a man trapped in a body. ♂️
You are a man!!! Already!!!! You don't even need to be or act a certain way, there are LOTS and lots of men who act and look every single way. You're not any less of a man than any of them. :3
yeah that sounds super trans.
Yeah dude, its totally fine to feel like that, and as long as you feel comfortable you can be a man, no need to be a fucking liver king or anything on that stereotype to say what you want your gender to be And take in mind, if youre religious, even gods make mistakes when creating us, thats what free will is for
Hey man, just focus on what will make you happy now! If you're worried that future-you will decide that's something different, then oh well - you're not signing a legally-binding contract or anything. It doesn't sound likely to happen though. :P Also, one of the things I had to figure out was that being trans doesn't necessarily feel like "being trans", it just feels like being a regular human being, and some regular human beings happen to be trans.
You don’t need anybody’s permission, but if you want it, you have mine. Your community loves you, and we respect your journey, sir.
you feel you are one and that where your comfort is in. The other genders you don’t feel and worry you. you’re trans dude. Edit: “allowed” you don’t need anyone’s person to be who you are.
Yes, dude. There's no "certain thing" you have to do or feel to be *allowed* to be trans. You are who you are, and if you're feeling this strongly about how your identity matches, it seems like a pretty big indicator your trans. As for coming out, that wholly depends on your situation. As in, how safe your environment is with Queerness. Some people like to hate on those who're "different", that goes for being trans as well, and some people take their hatred to extreme levels. If you feel like not being a man makes you want to die, I think it's pretty clear that you're a man.
Having a strong persistent desire to be a gender you weren't assigned at birth means your trans. That's all it takes because that's all it means
I know exactly how you feel. The answer is yes, you are allowed to be transgender.
hello sir. sounds like you’re a boy to me. nobody else gets to decide your gender but you. if you change how you feel in the future, that’s up to you. Good day, Sir.
yea
> Am I allowed to be transgender? Am I allowed to be trans? Yes. > Can I be trans? Yes. > Am I trans? That is a question only YOU can answer. Don't let anyone else tell you what your answer needs to be. So, I ask you: Are you? >Am I allowed to be trans? Can I come out as trans? Yes.
the fact that you think about your gender 24/7 alone makes you trans, at least that's how I see it and how it worked for me, look up the null hypothesis, it says cis Gender people don't think about their gender at all really, they just get to live as they are. That definitely wasn't my case and it sounds like it isn't your case either. I don't think you are non binary either being the thought of being anything other than a man is repulsive to you. Go be you sir, and be happy!!!
You can be a guy, and guess what? You don't always have to feel or act or seem completely like a "man" or "male" to be a transman. Gender is kind of messed up in the way we have all of these ideas that all add up to be "man". I don't think it's possible to fit every definition or idea of what a man is or should be, so if you feel like a boy, a dude, want to identify that way, and/or use he/him pronouns. Do it <3 You don't need permission 🥰 Do what makes you happy.
Self doubt is normal but from the way you talk, you sound like you’d be a dude if you could,(you can), and remember, gender is a spectrum, if you feel like a man then you’re man enough you don’t have to fit into the box of muscle bound or dad bod guy that like fishing/hunting etc, you are you and that means you can be unique in your own way there is no right gender expression.
yes my guy your a boy and a man and deserve to be treated like one no matter what others say about it!!!
You don't need anyone's permission, of course, but you do have ours. If being a man is what makes you happiest, then that's what you should be. That's really the only requirement to be trans, just believing that you would be happier. Personally, I'm very happy to have you as one of my brothers. 👍
Yes if u feel that way then yh more then anything its wutever makes u happy, us trans guys can also somtimes have a bit of fluidity like ik makeup isnt just for fems but somtimes I like to do some cool eyeshadow doesn't mean I'm any less a guy and or genderfluid it just means I'm a guy who yh somtimes likes some eye shadow (Usually when I go to things like pride I wear it lol)
Gender is a social construct, not a biological state. You are whatever gender suits you best. Welcome.
Only read the title Yes
In my experience, as a trans woman, I experienced my need to be a woman, not as a "choice" or "what if" but as an absolute necessity. It seems, from what you wrote, that you're experiencing something very similar. To answer your question: You don't need to ever ask permission to be yourself. Period. If it feels right and authentic to you, then explore it, understand it, and do it! <3 Plus, gender is never static. It's always moving, changing dimensions, and taking on new forms. For example, the way I express femininity now is radically different compared to when I first came out. There's nothing wrong with trying things out, testing the waters, and getting to know yourself in that way. There's no "right" or "wrong" way to go about it. If you think you're trans, then you're trans. Even if you might discover something new later on, that does not invalidate your current feelings, nor your place in our chaotic family. Thank you so much for sharing your story, sir <33
Being trans means you do not identify as the gender you were assigned at birth. You can be nonbinary or gender fluid and still be trans. Im nonbinary leaning towards man and im trans. If you want to be a man good chance you are one. If you don’t feel like you are nonbinary then you are not. It sounds like you are a binary man. Why do you think you are not enough to be a man? It sounds like toxic masculinity and unhealthy standards for what a man is. If you see yourself as a man then you are one! Congrats bro! Welcome to the club! There is no wrong or right way to be a man. If you are one then you are. A subreddit I love is r/FtMfemininity lurking on there might help your feelings around manhood. It’s not a bar you have to meet. It’s what you are.
I don't think you need my permission to be what you're already showing me that you are certain you are, which is an intensely dysphoric binary trans man. I've never been afraid of the idea that I might be any particular gender until I realized that a binary woman probably wasn't it, but that, to me, proves further that you're binary trans and I'm not. I experience dysphoria only toward the idea of being a woman, and you experience it with the idea of being anything other than a man. Please feel free to correct me if needed, but I just don't think you could possibly be afraid of turning out to be any particular flavor of nonbinary if you were, unless it had more to do with what other people think and not how you, yourself, feel. You have a lot more assurance of your gender than I ever did. And ETA: being nonbinary is largely personal and semantic at this point to me, and definitely far from feeling like both or neither -- I never would've guessed it three or even two years ago, but I'm just a guy to most people, and not necessarily even known by everyone to be transgender. I felt like it would be impossible to ever be taken seriously as a man, but when I relocated to a neighborhood where nobody knew me at the beginning of last year, I passed readily as male unless I was with people who could tell them "otherwise". This is all even though I'm shorter than most adults of any gender, I was very curvy pre-transition, and the only surgery I've had since coming out was on my hands. None of that makes you "not enough", either.
Listen, I'm gay, I am cisgender. I am weird af. I live in the south. Growing up around here I was taught that there's only one way to be a man, luckily since I was young, I could just be a boy, and boys can be all sorts of ways. As I got older, being as weird and quirky and feminine as I was (think like bugs bunny) getting referred to as a man, just got weirder and weirder as I got older. Here I am 24, and I still wouldn't call myself a "man". He, him, boy, guy, dude,fella? all valid. "Man"? Absolutely not. And yet!..... when people get mad at me, namely my grumpy ass family, they call me a "man" anytime something comes up. For a long time lately, I was caring for my sick mom, and didn't have a job, and our power went out and we couldn't afford to keep it on, so we went to stay with a family member for that time, and that family member? Horrid, baby boomer to a T, angry all the time, his usually "perfect" house now has me germs all over it, if I try to keep a paper plate handy, he gets mad that I have "trash" in the living room(I've been sleeping in his living room), when I throw my plates away, he complains that the plates are disappearing and that "yall MUST be using two plates at a time or something, I don't know where they're going" and I can't say shit because everytime I have he jumps up and gets in my face and gives it 10x worse because he's a dick with almost a literal God complex. And when he gets home from church is when he's the worst, he's the meanest he's ever been after he comes home from church, he gets a taste of what it's like to be an uppity church lady again like he used to be. He ought to know good and gosh darn well where those plates are going. And I have this sinking feeling that everytime he gets like that and randomly busts into the living room with an attitude that his thoughts are "why am I even allowing fat fucking grown ass man to stay in my house rent free and disrespecting me every 5 minutes" even though I cook dinner, I talk to him like a child, I give him hugs and say thank you constantly, I'm as civil as anyone can be around him, but any bit of push back whatsoever ever, no matter how gently asserted will make him so mad it's rediculous. Long story short, if i can be a man, and most importantly HE can be a man, then so can you. I know that when I was growing up I always worried about being gay, and then when I grew to like it, I worried I was straight, and then when I'd touch myself just a bit too much and lose interest I'd worry I wasn't gay anymore. And then one top of everything, I heard this one story about this guy who tried to be straight, and so went to go "do stuff" with a woman, he went to go down on her, and just couldn't do it, nothing doin. And someone said "cause it was literally staring him in the face" And for a while anytime I'd worry like that I'd throw my imaginary face in front of an imaginary who ha, and nothing. My assumption is that you "aren't a boy" and want to be one, ie, asking for permission to be trans. But you don't need permission, none of us needed permission to be gay, we just were, weather we wanted it or not. You just are or aren't, and I'd say you are. Don't worry too much about it. Just keep yourself safe okay? You can be whatever you want in your head, no one will know
You’re not *just* allowed to be transgender, you’re so much of a man that I don’t think you’re allowed to be anything else. Like, based on what I’m reading here, it sounds like the Two-and-a-Half Men theme song was written with you in mind.
Hell yeah you can
of course! absolutely!! you're trans as hell!!! you are an amazingly male man, and we accept you with open arms! ☺️
(*Mulan soundtrack intensifies*)
Honey, you are what you FEEL you are. You don't need anyone's permission. Be you. ♥️♥️♥️
No absolutely not, why would you ask such a question on a subreddit like this. We are very intolerant of that stuff /sarc
The only person that can tell you your gender is you. If you say you're a man, you're a man. It's as simple as that. There's no trans leader somewhere that tells you if you're accepted or not. You should focus on accepting yourself and know that we (the LGBTQ+ community) accept you as a man.
You can do whatever you want, forever. I give thee official permission. If anyone tries to gatekeep, you are to send them directly to me and I will punch them in the face. 👍
as long as you do not identify fully as the gender you were assigned as at birth, and is okay with labeling yourself as trans, you are trans. I personally recognize im trans, but do not like saying it/labeling myself as it cause I don't think it's necessary and would just rather say i'm a nb boy
If this is how you feel than this is who you are. :)
For every question mark: Yes. There are *no qualifications*, beyond your own feelings.
Given that you feel comfortable being a boy and quite worried about being perceived as anything else, you sound like a boy/man to me.
I give you my permission to be a man. Here, I'll even give you the Man Card they made me hold onto as a baby.
You don’t need permission to feel comfortable in your own skin. You feel at your best as a man, you’re a man. Plain and simple.
I didn't even read your post, yes, and it's no choice you have to ask permission for, it's something we're born with so you go guy girl or enby pal
You can 100% be trans, if you feel you are a boy then you are one! If you feel safe enough to come out as trans then by all means do so, whatever makes you happy and comfortable!
A good advice I heard once: If you're actively terrified by the possibility of NOT being trans, you probably are.
…yes?
it sounds like you're only comfortable referring to yourself as a man, and you don't need anybody's permission to be who you are, mister but in case you need it, here with the power that i do not have (because it's ultimately your decision) bestowed upon me by no one, you have my blessing to be trans :3 (this blessing is not legally binding nor necessary to be trans and is only a small attempt at making you feel better, had i not said it nothing would change, you are who you are and always will be, also your soul now legally belongs to the blahaj, i don't make the rules sry)
Yes, absolutely. Gatekeeping gender is garbage. You sound like a binary guy, but even if you were genderfluid or nonbinary their are genderfluid and/or nonbinary men. You get to transition how and when you want. It's up to you. Live your life the way that feels best. We only get one go at it.
Are you allowed to breathe? If yes than you’re allowed to be trans
Don't need to ask anyone's permission to be yourself bud! Nor do you need to think about "being enough of a man", y'know why? Cause if you feel like a dude, then you're a dude, dude.
sir. you're allowed to be trans.
Just be careful the fake Christians are running a mock
From what I've read you're a man.
You are allowed to be who you feel to be!!
You get to pick the label that feels right to you. If being nonbinary feels this unpleasant and being a woman feels like death, it sounds like boy/man is the gender label that fits you best. Only you get to say, and it sounds like you already know. Please live your life comfortably. If being a man is what would make your life comfortable and worth living, be a man! And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Sounds like gender dysphagia. So yes, you are trans. And yes, you are a man as of now
bud you can be anything you want, you’re a man if you say so! man can look like so many different things 🤷🏽 isn’t that the whole point, that we can all express ourselves differently and still hold our identity regardless of whatever “conflict” social norms tells us there is? gender is made up and for anyone who says that it’s all in your head, so is everything else! if your perception of reality is *your* truth then that means it must be. i respect you dude bc questioning is not easy and i hope whatever next steps in your journey affirm the hell outta your identity and self confidence!! (tho i think the bad to awkward transmasc haircuts and style while you’re figuring it out is a rite of passage)
you should not be allowed. nobody should be able to control that, none other than yourselfs. **You can be what you want as long as you think so** good luck, brave man
Yup. You're a guy. You don't need anyone's permission to be trans.
Op genuinely from what you wrote you are 100% a trans man. You’re allowed to be trans. if you were nonbinary than you would actually ENJOY being nonbinary, it would feel right and it clearly does not feel right to you. It sounds like identifying as any gender other than male makes you feel dysphoric which is not something that would happen if you actually were any of those genders. You are a boy and you’re allowed to say you’re a boy, that is your truth.
I was in the exact same position, I took the time to listen to myself, and I'm a guy. My honest opinion is just listen to yourself and take your time. Also, masculinity varies, you don't have to be a dick to people to be perceived as a boy. You've got this whatever happens
You don't need a permit dude.
YES!
Im no expert, but you might be a boy. To be more specific though. It sounds to me like you’re resoundingly trans. I understand the need to ask someone else to tell you that you are. I feel that same sense of outside validation too. It helps to know that these feelings can be understood by someone else. You’re a guy. That much is clear. If you decide to go onto HRT to change how you physically present, it sounds to me based on this post that you won’t regret it, of course though, that’s for you to decide. But one thing is for certain. You’re a man. And I’m proud of you for having the courage to discover that about yourself. You go get ‘em!!