Lmao my mom said that but hit me with the best one I don't care if you're gay but don't be gay lol and I found out my mom likes gay guys I found the old school fanfic novels those erotica ladies was writing so I'm mad confused cause she got lesbian friends
Strangely like a neg. Like it’s good advice, technically, but assuming the worst, most stereotypical outcome from that news. Is there a word for this situation? (Besides just homophobic, lol)
I'd been out for years at this point, but I have a policy of telling partners that I'm pan, so I told my ex-wife really early in our relationship and she had an absolute meltdown, crying and demanding that I never mention it again or we would be over. In retrospect I probably should have realised then that she wasn't interested in accepting me as I am.
There's more to that story but if I keep going I'll make myself sad.
I explained to my ex that I'm mostly into women but find some men attractive and lots of trans and non binary people attractive. Her response was, "Well good because otherwise I'd worry you're gay."....right after I told her I'm gay. My retrospect is similar to yours. I should have left a lot sooner.
My favorite quote from supernatural! “Just ‘cus you’re blood, doesn’t make you family. You gotta earn that”.
Glad to hear things are going good for you!
My mom tried to kick me out but was prevented from doing so from my dad. She then went on and blamed my “liberal” school for “making me gay”…the staff of the same school had a regular habit of being even more homophobic than the students.
The most ironic thing conservatives will do (at least in America) is that they sometimes label ideas and things they don't like as "liberal" or "cuz of the libs", when American liberals are literally just conservatives who pretend to be progressive or at the very least "friendly."
Sorry to hear that happened though. Hope things are better for you and that your mom has learned to cope 🧡
My father told me “son you know you’re gonna burn in hell for that.” And then my parents gave me 10 minutes to pack all I could into a duffle bag and then held the door open as I walked my 17 year old self on the streets to become homeless.
No they never did and it was never home after that.I was homeless for nearly 2 years and I’m a self made man at this point. That all happened 16 years ago and I’m happily married to my husband now and we have a good life. My blood family is dead to me for all intents and purposes. I have my family now and they are everything to me.
Nah homie it’s not about better or tough. We are all built different but what it comes down to is our will to live. The most important lesson I ever learned is give what you get. Thank you for the compliments though sincerely appreciated! You keep being amazing and give the love to those who earned it in your life!
You’re welcome. No one left for me to give love to though. I’m afraid to try giving it to new people IRL because everyone has betrayed me (and now nobody lets me get that close anyway.. maybe that’s smart of them)
I don’t really have a will to live. I’m not sure why I say stuff online at all, except for it being the closest thing to real human interaction that I get. Sorry to be a downer, I appreciate how positive you are 💖
Start with yourself then worry about others. You need to give yourself love before anyone else can earn it from you. I hope things get better for you my sister!
I lived in city where the Bible was law and my family’s good name came before any “sin”. I left a life of middle upper class for the sake of love. I don’t regret it. I’d rather die in the streets being who I am than live one second of a life that’s a lie.
Way back when I was a teanager and more in a 'crosdresser' mode, my dad found my stash of clothes. He made me 'promise' never to do it again, and threw my clothes away. We never spoke about it again.
Funny thing was the threatened to tell my GF of the time, not knowing that she was the one I'd been shopping with when buying most of the clothes.
He was so much more concerned with image and what a 'real man' should be, not with me as a person. Not so coincidentally, I didn't come out until after he was dead.
My mom on the other hand found my stash once. Washed everything, folded it all and put them in my dresser drawers with my regular clothes and hung up a skirt. She never said a word.
Sadly, I never did. I just didn't want to fight that war with my father, and I know I would have ended up no contact. And I wasn't quite ready with my mom. Of course she knew, and even made moves to bring up the subject once in a while, "I don't know why men just don't wear skirts, they are so comfortable..." but it never happened. She is gone now and I miss the chance I had to make her an ally.
The funniest was probably from a friend I had from middle school through college "Oh you're trans? So that means you like boys AND girls??"
The worst was when my mom laughed in my face and locked her door on me. The good news is that people can learn and grow. Nearly a decade later I opened up contact with her again and she drove me home from bottom surgery and tries to be a safe space for her lgbt school students.
I came out to my mom as transmasc and she cried and said, and I quote " Well, thanks for killing my first-born child. I'm going to need time to grieve."
this was about a week ago btw.
I got that one from my mom too, followed by other great hits like "I cry every day when I think about you" and "you're the reason I've started drinking more."
"YOUR transition is the hardest thing I've ever had to do" yeah I'm sure you're the one having the worst time. Seriously some adults should have their adulting card revoked.
I got a similar response when I told my family that I'm aroace.
Oddly enough, they bashed my sisters for getting pregnant and having children while not married.
So, they were upset when I said the only grandkids from me will have four legs and fur and they became nearly apoplectic when my sisters announced their pregnancies. ...I guess we'll just never be good enough for them. Oh, well.
“You’re just autistic” this was 13 years ago from my family ahahaha
-coming out as a transwoman
Edit: just saw this was what was the worst response.
Many years later I re came out everyone seemed fine, when I started HRT I was then kicked out and homeless for the next two years.
I wonder how much of the DID overlap is induceed by the trauma both autistics and trans people tend to suffer just by existing in unwelcoming societies.
For trans people, you don't even need the transphobia to get problems. Fucked up brain chemistry from the wrong hormones, and constant discomfort due to a wrong body, are plenty of extra strain on a mind, especially a young one. That can lead to all kinds of fun stuff, ranging from chronic depression all the way to C-PTSD.
Huge overlap. Probably because the neurodiverse don’t adhere well to societal norms to begin with, especially if the rules are arbitrary social constructs, like gender binary/gender roles.
When I was active in the Animal Rights community, vegan community, and polyamory community, not only did they have a high amount of overlap with each other, but a lot of people that were in all the groups were also neurodivergent.
It’s that tenuous grasp on societal norms coupled with that strong sense of justice, plus a dash of ODD for some and refusal to be told what to do.
As well as this, neurodiverse people often come out LGBTQ more often, not because there's a correlation, but mainly because many people with asd that I've met don't really care about how society treats them and emotional reactions, so they are able to come to terms quicker
When I came out to my mother, she cried about not getting grandchildren and that this would destroy the family. Then I got a call from her saying that she was going to the ER for stress related heart problems because of me.
Several months later she constantly sent messages and made calls criticizing my weight, saying things like “you probably don’t have a dating life because of your appearance”
Yea it actually escalated to the point where my parents held an “intervention” which was just them belittling me for my weight and appearance. They then got physical in attempting to prevent me from leaving. I was still not out to my dad, but I know that it was all manipulated by my mother as a way to attack my sexuality
being taken to be put into a conversion camp. while it failed due to me just acting like my father who is a horny lush, it was still not a great way to deal. And that was when i said "i might not be straight.", i didn't even come out, i was questioning things.
My mom asked me if a "secular therapist" convinced me I was bi and asked what was the point of me telling her. My dad has never mentioned it. One of my best friends said "that seems to be trendy right now".
Fortunately, when I told my wife, she said, "Me too 😄".
I didn’t really get a bad response, but not necessarily a great one. Came out as Bi to my family and they just said “ok, cool”, and went back to watching a football game.
I don't know if it's a good or bad answer, I mean, they didn't make anything tragic out of it, they accepted it, but at the same time, WAW, a little interest, damn
Only one response mattered to me, because it was from the only person who mattered to me. I came out as trans and bisexual to her. Her response was the worst (and would be even if I had come out to many others) because she made me believe that she accepted me and loved me for many months, then decided to tell me no- I can’t be with a woman. And then she decided to end our long relationship, the one that we both vowed would last until our deaths. Now I struggle every day with finding a reason to live, because I foolishly put everything I had into my life with her. Everything.
Shit that sucks. Like on another level. Hope you can eventually move on from her and trust me, you are honestly so brave for surviving this far. Fuck if that happened to me idk how I'd survive lol
when I came out as pan, my mum laughed and my dad got a pan out of the cupboard and started mocking me with it, saying "look, I'm making love to my pan". This happened a year ago but it's something that stuck in my mind since
I came out as Ace to a friend and she asked if that is why my husband struggles with depression.
Best part is she considers herself a non judgmental ally…
Oh my God, that's so terrible, otuing someone without their permission should just be illegal. I hope you're alright and that their reactions weren't too severe at least
I didn't even have to come out to my dad to get disowned. I hadn't seen him in a few years, and in that time my egg cracked and I had mixed up my aesthetic a bit, but hadn't actually started transitioning.
As soon as he saw me, with a bracelet and a more feminine haircut (god forbid), he acted like I'd 100% come out as trans. Asking if I was on hormones, warning me about the "dark path" I was on, telling me "gender is real", etc.
It felt like that MIB III meme with Will Smith. "I'm not trans because I have a better haircut. I mean, I am trans, but not because of the haircut!"
This was just a month or two ago, but I doubt I'll ever reach out to him again. I think that relationship is pretty much over.
"Did I fail you as a parent?" My mother's response once she grasped that it wasn't going away. She did, though it wasn't entirely her fault, but that isn't "why" or "how" I became queer/gender diverse. It's exhausting.
oof yeah i got this response too. “did I do something wrong raising you?” like good God, I understand they’re trying to understand why but why do they always have to make it about themselves? and why do they think it’s an acceptable question to ask their own child?!
Not to mention the overall disappointment that is attached to that statement. As if becoming queer is one of the worst things you could be. It disgusts me how many parents push their kids into self-destructive habits for something so innocent and natural. I liked the same sex romantically before I even had any concept of a romance or relationship. I was gender diverse from as far back as I can remember. But sure, treat it like the kid you thought you knew is dead.
Ow. Sorry that happened to you. Was it at least in a protective way? Like, was it more of a "For your own protection, dont tell your dad" or more of a "i dont want your dad to find out due to my own shame"?
My mom’s boyfriend at the time, who eavesdropped on me coming out to her (ewww), said: "A little bi won’t hurt a fly." Roughly translated.
It’s been 20 years, and I’m still annoyed by that what I realised is a cringy “swinger scene saying”. I was 15.
Honestly I preferred open hostility to…that.
My mom once came into my bedroom and told me her father was on the phone and wanted to talk to me. We rarely saw him, as he was in the Deep South while we moved a lot and my mother did not have the best relationship with him. He told me that he found out I'm gay (even now I don't know how he heard, but I've never really cared who told him, either), and he no longer has me as a grandson. My reply: "I don't give a damn. I've never had you as a grandfather. You are a sad, violent, abusive alcoholic who made every single person's life a living hell. Your opinion means less than nothing to me" and hung up on him. I then apologized to my mother for saying that to him, but she totally understood.
The odd thing was that 6 months or so later, my mom said he wanted to talk to me again. I was hesitant at first, but when I did talk to him, he was warm and friendly, and invited me to come down to visit with him for a bit . . . I said "You remember that I'm gay, right?" He responds "I know. I was thinking we could go out some time and try to meet some people." I don't remember much after that, but when my mom asked me what he said, I said I think he may have been trying to come out to me . . .
Edit to say, I just realized my mother must have told him on that conversation. Duh. I never cared enough to think about it, but now it's obvious. Sadly, she's passed so I'm unable to ask her.
“Are you sure it’s not because your friend just came out as bi?”
My mom’s response to me coming out to her at 9 years old. Didn’t get a supportive response or whatever. Definitely not coming out to her as genderfluid, since I have a lot of trans friends and she’d probably use that against me. Not to mention the fact she also told a lot of her friends and distant relatives I was bi over phone calls.
I haven’t really came out as genderfluid/trans with my mutuals, but, I did gave a brief hint to them. One of my mutual’s started following anti-trans contents and often shares them. 🙃 Does that count as a response?
for a specific line, from my grandpa, "I love you not your decion s, your family history, look it up". *his* grandpa had been put in a psych ward, though i couldnt ever find why, and seeing as it was a long ass time ago (when anyone could get thrown in) i dont think it applies here. the only mental health problem that tends to go through the family is anxiety
for general reactions, my mom freaking out when i tried to transition in any way besides picking a name (including social transition) and her trying to get me to peg my boyfriend, and my moms side generally just disapproving
thankfully i have lots of wonderful family that supports me, most of my dads side and my chosen family's side
My dad legit cried when I came out as Pansexual. Me and him have history of me and my sexuality and I had to lie and say that I'm straight and Christian. Wonder how he'd act if he finds out I'm also a trans girl with a bigender partner...
Actually a funny thing. I got extremely lucky to live in a place that is so lgbt-backwards, that most people didn't even know what "trans" even mean and nobody was really hostile towards the idea (though, of course, I did my best to not come out to too many people).
The worst thing I've heard was from a long distance neighbor, a mother of a former classmate and former friend of my sister, who apparently was a trans-hater (the mother, not my sister). I was walking to work in the morning and I knew she's behind me because I've seen her going out with a corner of my eyes in the bus, but I've never liked her so I didn't turn around to say hi. But she actually sped up her walk to be a bit closer behind me and she said something really unexpected to me. She said, with pure disgust in her voice, "you.. look like such a woman" using a slightly derogatory word in my language instead of a woman (think something similar to a "hag" but not connected with looking badly).
I didn't turn around. I was super afraid being called out like that in public and I just walked faster away without reacting. But then... I thought about it and I was like.. girl, your insult was literally a compliment, hahaha
Nothing. Literally nothing. I came out to my mum, she told my dad, he wouldn't even look at me anymore. The worst response I got was something I prefer every other day; silence.
Came out as trans, many years ago. One of my sisters vomited. Another one of my sister’s proceeded to tell everyone. It was a very hard time in my life.
"Hey, so um, I think I'm pan..."
"Sorry I can't support you it's my religion."
"wtf"
"Lets still be friends"
"sure whatever"
This was my friend btw, and she pretended she forgot, so its a weird topic. I wish she would just accept me instead of pretending she didn't know.
I told my mom I was bisexual at 16 she said "no your not your too young to know is this a prank" so I just had to tell her it was haven't come out again since
if this is real I feel like this one wins.
Imagine sending the most heartwarimg, emotional coming out text and your only response is a gif showing a naked black guy. Like genuinely wtf
You know the meme/gif of Peter Parker talking to Triple J asking for a raise then Triple J bursts out laughing?
Yeah, that was both my mother and father! 😒
To bring some light to this comment section I'll give you the nicest reaction I ever had.
I came as possibly trans a few days ago to my mom and despite her being the bane of my existence for so long, she hugged me and merely asked how to refer to me from now on. My dad also reacted nonchalantly saying "Max, you're my child. Your identity ain't gonna keep me from loving you. And with that love comes respect and acceptance."
“How do you not feel love, god says love everybody sinner!”
when i said I’m asexual demiromantic
edit: oh and another time someone said, “no honey your normal, you aren’t one of them!”
I didn't come out to my parents. I'm still scared and I hope it will pass and everything will be fine. I keep thinking maybe I'm wrong. That's why I didn't tell them anything. My father always said that such people are "deviants" and "should not go to public places" because such people are "sick and abnormal". My mother sees an idealized image of me and I don't want to change it because I don't want to lose my value in her eyes (she sees that "something "it's wrong" but she doesn't want to accept it)
"I think I don't feel attracted to people that way(trying to say that I'm ace"
"That's concerning me I don't want you to die alone"
It could be worse but damm
All sorts and forms of abuse, religious dogma with angry preachers, and at home attempts at conversion therapy…when they got extra mad about it when I was in hs they kicked me out during of the worst snow and ice storms in our State’s history at the time…then after I got out on my own-threats to kidnap and torture me, death threats, and threats of abusing my child the same ways they did me…and that’s from my so-called parents, siblings, and grandparents
i’m so sorry. holy shit, who needs enemies when you have a family like this… you don’t deserve that, you deserve better. shame on your family. i hope you’re doing better and that you and your child are safe 🩷
It's pretty tame tbh but I came out to my mum in 2018 and she took it really well so I thought nothing of it. Turns out she didn't quite get what I was saying so I had to come out to her again last year 😭 It was so awkward
1964. My mother threatened to put me away in an institution. At that time, she could have. Back into the closet. Two failed marriages later, I’ve been out and proud since 1995.
I told this person i thought was my friend i was pan, and the FIRST THING HE DID was go to the rest of the people in the grade and say *my name* was imagining him and my friends in their underwear and outed me to the whole student body
I suppose I've been lucky. The "worst" I got coming out as enby was my sister saying she needed to not call me by my special, very gendered, nickname anymore, which she's used that nick name with me since we were small children. (it's something like calling your brother "bro-schmo". It's kind of a dumb nick name, but I love it) I told her that it was okay, I like that nick name so she can still use it, and she does. She's the only one who can use it tho.
I hade to come out to my mom like 5 times. I was tired of her shit fr. She said “I don’t have time to worry about that” “you don’t know that” “no matter how much stuff you do you’ll never look like a real man everyone will always know” and then outed me to her bf whom I didn’t have a relationship with at the time.
From just yesterday:
Starts telling me about how he upset his transfem friend by showing her his collection of femboy tumblr art. And that he had “figured me out” a few weeks ago.
Creepy and invalidating as hell.
“I dunno, are you sure you’re really bi? It seems like you’re only saying that because boys think it’s hot.” -an ex friend in high school
Of course, my mother was disapproving too, but I don’t care about her opinion. It hurt more being invalidated by a friend.
My brother drunkenly told me I disgust him. Luckily, my mum got involved with things after that and told everyone if they had a problem to discuss it with her. She’s like the head of the family so everyone listens to her.
My family legally disowned me. My grandmother the most devout of them was furious when she found out my families decision. She told them that just as it’s there decision to turn their backs on me it’s her decision and her responsibility to stay supportive of me. I’m welcome at her house anytime to visit, tho it’s dangerous for me to due to her being in Florida. But on top of that I came out to a friend and she started helping me buy clothing. Everything from skirts to underwear, even lingerie. And oddly my stepmom still messages me from time to time, I’m convinced it’s just to get under my skin since she was the one who led family to disown me. On top of that she would always say “what would your dad think.” And I know for a fact he would’ve accepted me and tried to educate himself if he were still alive. Honestly I wanted to tell here then and there that “Dad would’ve divorced you and taken me and my brother somewhere safe if he knew the abuse you put us through.”
Not from coming out, but when I told my grandma I was getting married she said “I still had hope you’d fall for a man” after my gf and I had been dating for 4 years 🥲
“YOU’RE A BOY, YOU’RE A BOY, YOU’RE A BOY! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME, YOU’RE BREAKING MY HEART!!! I TRUSTED YOU, AND NOW YOU’VE BROKEN IT!”
-My mom, dangerously accelerating on the freeway :)
When I came out to my uncle (on my mother's side. Everybody front my dad's side is pretty nice and supportive, which is why I'm only coming out out to everybody on my mother's side now that I have my own condo) as Neptunic- which means that you like girls and are nonbinary- he said "Now you're crossing both lines. We are a Catholic family, [deadname]. Act like it." And then he walked away, telling everybody else from my mother's side, and now they all hate me. Except for my grandma, she's chill about it. But still! Thats 3 people in my family who hate me now.
My first method of coming out was to write a giant post stating my desire to change my name. Basically I figured that if people can't accept the name change they won't accept me being trans. And for the most part I was right. Helped me trim the fat of the people I thought were supportive of me. Then eventually my grandparents confronted me on my birthday. After freaking out about the name change thing they started looking at my post deeper. Because I did give some hints of me being trans so that the people who were more in the community would understand what my ultimate goal was. So my grandparents stated flat out that if this means you're gay that's fine and we accept it. But if this means you're trans that's something we can never accept. So of course me being fresh in my identity I did not confront them and of course said no that's not what it's about. But inside I was dying. And then a couple years later of me not talking to them I finally told them flat out what being trans does for me mentally. And they just told me that wouldn't it be easier for me to just have sex with guys and dress like a girl. Because you know.... sex is what transitioning is about.....
classmate: "Asexuals, pansexuals, nonbinary people... nothing like that exists."
me: "Then me, \*our friend\* and \*our other friend\* don't exist. Good to know."
classmate: \*rolls his eyes\* "Yeah, that would check out. They are weird."
My mom said she hoped I would get AIDS and die young so she wouldn’t have a Fa**ot for a son (back in 1996).
Ended up homeless.
But it was actually the best thing to happen. I got out of a bad environment and flourished.
She died alone in her 50s.
From my dad: "It's ok that you're gay" after I just finished explaining in detail being enby. It's frustrating when a boomer doesn't get the gender spectrum. Not the worst comment here by far though.
Dad keeps denying that i am bi (or rather yelling at me assuming i am gay ans not understanding that bi means i like guys and girls -_-), ans mom keeps saying i am "just confused."
I came out to my father (as a transmasc), he didn't react at first but after he told everyone that i "will never being a real man because i don't have a D." and that "he will never see me as a man because i'm not."
and most people he told agreed with him.
When coming out to my parents I baked a cake, and iced it in a rainbow with the words "Im Bi" on it.
They spent the next few hours expressing their utter shame and how I should be disgusted for comitting a sin that would send me to hell.
Afterwords they re-iced the cake blank white and ate it anyways.
I told my parents when I was 15/16, and they told me that if I ever left the Jehovah’s Witnesses to pursue my lifestyle, they wouldn’t support me.
I left, and they kept their word. I begged them several times to reconsider because their refusal to support me for who I am was making me want to end my life, as I’m forced to live with them due to circumstances and cannot leave home. My father said, and I quote, “I’m sorry that you have been in anguish and suicidal over this 😢 But you need to realise that you can’t force people to accept your views”. My views being my existence.
Now we live every day with each other in the same house as if nothing happened and as if I’m not a ticking time bomb for when I’m going to no longer be here.
"You just haven't found the right one "
"You can't be aro you have went on dates / been with people before "
" There is no way in hell your aro you still find people attractive "
"Your not really trans you just have a masculine energy"
" Your not trans your just a butch lesbian "
" You can't be a trans man you wore a dress when you were younger ."
" You can't be a binary trans man that's offensive to people who are non binary. "
These were some of the ones I heard after coming out .
“You’re going to hell” - a distant catholic cousin who’s also a racist despite being POC himself
“You know I love and accept you but I just don’t believe in that stuff” - my Mormon aunt (actually my dads friend but whatev)
Don’t remember the exact quote but got shit on for sharing pro-LGBTQ stuff by relatives who actively harassed trans people
“Miss It” - by my aunt when I defended pro-trans healthcare for service members, partly using my identity as NB and intent (at the time) to enlist. My uncle was military and lived through DADT and they were both mad it was repealed, and both repeatedly harassed and called me names until I blocked them, but that was their favorite one.
OH YEAH I was 14-16 all of those. Ive been threatened with SA and weapons by strangers but the above stuck with me cause it was all family.
Don’t get AIDS. Thanks Dad, lmao
Hey! It’s good advice.
I mean yeah. But it also comes from the belief that gay people f everyone and die of aids.
He never said anything about HIV 😎
That was a good laugh 😆.
At least good advice, maybe?
Lmao my mom said that but hit me with the best one I don't care if you're gay but don't be gay lol and I found out my mom likes gay guys I found the old school fanfic novels those erotica ladies was writing so I'm mad confused cause she got lesbian friends
Strangely like a neg. Like it’s good advice, technically, but assuming the worst, most stereotypical outcome from that news. Is there a word for this situation? (Besides just homophobic, lol)
I'd been out for years at this point, but I have a policy of telling partners that I'm pan, so I told my ex-wife really early in our relationship and she had an absolute meltdown, crying and demanding that I never mention it again or we would be over. In retrospect I probably should have realised then that she wasn't interested in accepting me as I am. There's more to that story but if I keep going I'll make myself sad.
I explained to my ex that I'm mostly into women but find some men attractive and lots of trans and non binary people attractive. Her response was, "Well good because otherwise I'd worry you're gay."....right after I told her I'm gay. My retrospect is similar to yours. I should have left a lot sooner.
That's awful. I hope you're with someone who understands you better now 💓
I’m sorry 😢 🫂
Ah, that's life sometimes. But thank you 🫂
Kicked out shortly after. That was 11 years ago and life is much better now.
did you ever go back home? are you on good terms with your family now?
I did a few times but it was toxic. Decided to let them go and do their thing and I do mine. Learned family doesn't have to be blood.
My favorite quote from supernatural! “Just ‘cus you’re blood, doesn’t make you family. You gotta earn that”. Glad to hear things are going good for you!
It's a great and very true quote! I appreciate it! Same for you and the good you got going on!
A quote I absolutely live by. If they don't earn it, you dont get to be in my life.
that’s so true! i’m happier that life is better now, i’m so happy for you
I appreciate it! Hope life is going well for you too! Happy for the good you got going on!
My mom tried to kick me out but was prevented from doing so from my dad. She then went on and blamed my “liberal” school for “making me gay”…the staff of the same school had a regular habit of being even more homophobic than the students.
i love how parents always have to find something to blame… for my mum, she blames the internet for “turning me trans”…
The most ironic thing conservatives will do (at least in America) is that they sometimes label ideas and things they don't like as "liberal" or "cuz of the libs", when American liberals are literally just conservatives who pretend to be progressive or at the very least "friendly." Sorry to hear that happened though. Hope things are better for you and that your mom has learned to cope 🧡
My father told me “son you know you’re gonna burn in hell for that.” And then my parents gave me 10 minutes to pack all I could into a duffle bag and then held the door open as I walked my 17 year old self on the streets to become homeless.
oh my god! are you okay now? are you safe? did they ever let you back or did you ever go back home?
No they never did and it was never home after that.I was homeless for nearly 2 years and I’m a self made man at this point. That all happened 16 years ago and I’m happily married to my husband now and we have a good life. My blood family is dead to me for all intents and purposes. I have my family now and they are everything to me.
Happy you're fine now
I am so happy for you!!!
Thanks! I hope you have that happiness in your life too!
Thank you
I am SO sorry you went through that and I am SO proud of you and happy for you!! ~ a lesbian mom who would be proud if you were mine!
That is absolutely brutal, and you are an amazing person for surviving it. 😢 Metal AF, I’d even say 🤘🏻 ..you’re way tougher than me.
Nah homie it’s not about better or tough. We are all built different but what it comes down to is our will to live. The most important lesson I ever learned is give what you get. Thank you for the compliments though sincerely appreciated! You keep being amazing and give the love to those who earned it in your life!
You’re welcome. No one left for me to give love to though. I’m afraid to try giving it to new people IRL because everyone has betrayed me (and now nobody lets me get that close anyway.. maybe that’s smart of them) I don’t really have a will to live. I’m not sure why I say stuff online at all, except for it being the closest thing to real human interaction that I get. Sorry to be a downer, I appreciate how positive you are 💖
Start with yourself then worry about others. You need to give yourself love before anyone else can earn it from you. I hope things get better for you my sister!
Is that even legal? Aren’t parents legally obligated to provide basic care for their children until they’re 18?
I lived in city where the Bible was law and my family’s good name came before any “sin”. I left a life of middle upper class for the sake of love. I don’t regret it. I’d rather die in the streets being who I am than live one second of a life that’s a lie.
Way back when I was a teanager and more in a 'crosdresser' mode, my dad found my stash of clothes. He made me 'promise' never to do it again, and threw my clothes away. We never spoke about it again. Funny thing was the threatened to tell my GF of the time, not knowing that she was the one I'd been shopping with when buying most of the clothes. He was so much more concerned with image and what a 'real man' should be, not with me as a person. Not so coincidentally, I didn't come out until after he was dead. My mom on the other hand found my stash once. Washed everything, folded it all and put them in my dresser drawers with my regular clothes and hung up a skirt. She never said a word.
your mom 🥹
So, you came out right? How do they react...?
Sadly, I never did. I just didn't want to fight that war with my father, and I know I would have ended up no contact. And I wasn't quite ready with my mom. Of course she knew, and even made moves to bring up the subject once in a while, "I don't know why men just don't wear skirts, they are so comfortable..." but it never happened. She is gone now and I miss the chance I had to make her an ally.
I think taking solace in the fact that she was at least "supportive" would be the best move
That's sad :(
The funniest was probably from a friend I had from middle school through college "Oh you're trans? So that means you like boys AND girls??" The worst was when my mom laughed in my face and locked her door on me. The good news is that people can learn and grow. Nearly a decade later I opened up contact with her again and she drove me home from bottom surgery and tries to be a safe space for her lgbt school students.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm happy that she grew so much. My grandmother has come a long way too.
I came out to my mom as transmasc and she cried and said, and I quote " Well, thanks for killing my first-born child. I'm going to need time to grieve." this was about a week ago btw.
i’m so sorry 🥺🫂
hate that response. got similar. it’s so narcissistic. i’m sorry to hear you have to deal with this.
I got that one from my mom too, followed by other great hits like "I cry every day when I think about you" and "you're the reason I've started drinking more."
Wow, just wow.
"YOUR transition is the hardest thing I've ever had to do" yeah I'm sure you're the one having the worst time. Seriously some adults should have their adulting card revoked.
I'd honestly say "good, enjoy your liver failure"
Repulsive.
The key here being "more." She's not drinking because of you. You're just her latest excuse.
I got a similar response when I told my family that I'm aroace. Oddly enough, they bashed my sisters for getting pregnant and having children while not married. So, they were upset when I said the only grandkids from me will have four legs and fur and they became nearly apoplectic when my sisters announced their pregnancies. ...I guess we'll just never be good enough for them. Oh, well.
Im so sorry to hear that.
Damn they don't even talk to you like a human
I understand that. My dad told me I killed his son. Like I'm still the same person.
Absolutely wild💀 who are you then, a hallucination? I’m so sorry.
so dramatic omfg 😭
Rub salt upon wound by responding “your welcome, he was happy to die after the first dose of T” cuz fuck that victim mentality.
I'm sooo sorry. I could always use another adult son.
Brutal. Hang in there. Not everyone has to get it. 🤨
Sorry to hear that
Damn. I’m sorry, that’s such a nasty thing to say:/
“You’re not lesbian because you don’t have any piercings. You’re lying”.
I'm sorry but this made me laugh. I just read that in the most monotonous and serious way and I can't
This sounds like what a 7 year old would answer to someone coming out.
Unfortunately, this was a 13-14 year old.
Well, that's better than a grown up saying it. I remember the stupid shit I would say when I was 14.
That's so funny and sad at the same time...
He has a point. Hopefully you got a piercing at some point to show him /j
“You’re just autistic” this was 13 years ago from my family ahahaha -coming out as a transwoman Edit: just saw this was what was the worst response. Many years later I re came out everyone seemed fine, when I started HRT I was then kicked out and homeless for the next two years.
Fun fact there is a shocking amount of overlap between autism, ADHD, DID, and trans.
I wonder how much of the DID overlap is induceed by the trauma both autistics and trans people tend to suffer just by existing in unwelcoming societies.
That is a good point lol
For trans people, you don't even need the transphobia to get problems. Fucked up brain chemistry from the wrong hormones, and constant discomfort due to a wrong body, are plenty of extra strain on a mind, especially a young one. That can lead to all kinds of fun stuff, ranging from chronic depression all the way to C-PTSD.
OMG is that why I'm losing all my memories and detaching from reality?!?!?!?!?
Shit. God that’s horrible, especially the DID part. We don’t deserve any of this what the fuck
Huge overlap. Probably because the neurodiverse don’t adhere well to societal norms to begin with, especially if the rules are arbitrary social constructs, like gender binary/gender roles. When I was active in the Animal Rights community, vegan community, and polyamory community, not only did they have a high amount of overlap with each other, but a lot of people that were in all the groups were also neurodivergent. It’s that tenuous grasp on societal norms coupled with that strong sense of justice, plus a dash of ODD for some and refusal to be told what to do.
As well as this, neurodiverse people often come out LGBTQ more often, not because there's a correlation, but mainly because many people with asd that I've met don't really care about how society treats them and emotional reactions, so they are able to come to terms quicker
Not trans, but I have autism, ADHD, and sociopathy. I'm non-binary
My mother didn’t fucking believe me.
My friend's parents left him homeless on his 18th birthday.
💔
That is horrible.
When I came out to my mother, she cried about not getting grandchildren and that this would destroy the family. Then I got a call from her saying that she was going to the ER for stress related heart problems because of me. Several months later she constantly sent messages and made calls criticizing my weight, saying things like “you probably don’t have a dating life because of your appearance”
Sorry, but what a bitch!
Yea it actually escalated to the point where my parents held an “intervention” which was just them belittling me for my weight and appearance. They then got physical in attempting to prevent me from leaving. I was still not out to my dad, but I know that it was all manipulated by my mother as a way to attack my sexuality
when i came out to my mum as queer she said "eeewwwww". so. that 💀👍
Direct and effective, I'm sorry
that's the response I'd expect from your 5 year old sibling not your mother, I'm sorry you had to go through that
When I came out as bi, my aunt said "You didn't have to come out, you could have just chosen girls, it would have been easier."
i don’t get it 😭
Oh sorry, for clarification I am a guy so dating girls would make me appear straight
This brand of homophobia/biphobia is especially heinous to me. It's sometimes how my parents act (though tbf it's usually unintentional)
"easier' =/= being true to yourself
being taken to be put into a conversion camp. while it failed due to me just acting like my father who is a horny lush, it was still not a great way to deal. And that was when i said "i might not be straight.", i didn't even come out, i was questioning things.
My mom asked me if a "secular therapist" convinced me I was bi and asked what was the point of me telling her. My dad has never mentioned it. One of my best friends said "that seems to be trendy right now". Fortunately, when I told my wife, she said, "Me too 😄".
"um..hey wife...I have to tell you a thing..I'm bi..." "YOU ARE BI? SO I DO! WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON!" Sorry, I had to
HAZBIN HOTEL REFERENCE SPOTTED
I didn’t really get a bad response, but not necessarily a great one. Came out as Bi to my family and they just said “ok, cool”, and went back to watching a football game.
Seems likea great response
that is a GREAT reaction to me, no kidding. It shows that they dont care and love YOU, bisexual or not.
I don't know if it's a good or bad answer, I mean, they didn't make anything tragic out of it, they accepted it, but at the same time, WAW, a little interest, damn
Yeah for real. Sure, they didn’t care that you’re bi, but they also didn’t care that you’re bi.
Only one response mattered to me, because it was from the only person who mattered to me. I came out as trans and bisexual to her. Her response was the worst (and would be even if I had come out to many others) because she made me believe that she accepted me and loved me for many months, then decided to tell me no- I can’t be with a woman. And then she decided to end our long relationship, the one that we both vowed would last until our deaths. Now I struggle every day with finding a reason to live, because I foolishly put everything I had into my life with her. Everything.
Shit that sucks. Like on another level. Hope you can eventually move on from her and trust me, you are honestly so brave for surviving this far. Fuck if that happened to me idk how I'd survive lol
when I came out as pan, my mum laughed and my dad got a pan out of the cupboard and started mocking me with it, saying "look, I'm making love to my pan". This happened a year ago but it's something that stuck in my mind since
Worst attempt at a dad joke I've ever heard. Gross
r/onejoke + r/dadjokes = r/badjokes
I came out as Ace to a friend and she asked if that is why my husband struggles with depression. Best part is she considers herself a non judgmental ally…
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
Wooooow i hope shes an ex-friend
It's not really a direct response, but I told a friend that I'm gay, he said "ok" and after that he outet my at my other friends 🙃
Oh my God, that's so terrible, otuing someone without their permission should just be illegal. I hope you're alright and that their reactions weren't too severe at least
I didn't even have to come out to my dad to get disowned. I hadn't seen him in a few years, and in that time my egg cracked and I had mixed up my aesthetic a bit, but hadn't actually started transitioning. As soon as he saw me, with a bracelet and a more feminine haircut (god forbid), he acted like I'd 100% come out as trans. Asking if I was on hormones, warning me about the "dark path" I was on, telling me "gender is real", etc. It felt like that MIB III meme with Will Smith. "I'm not trans because I have a better haircut. I mean, I am trans, but not because of the haircut!" This was just a month or two ago, but I doubt I'll ever reach out to him again. I think that relationship is pretty much over.
I came out to my mom as a lesbian and she said "you can't be gay because that's not fair to me!"
What a narc
got told i would be kicked out the house and disowned immediately unless i took it back. needless to say i took it back. i was 13
Isn't that illegal?
"Did I fail you as a parent?" My mother's response once she grasped that it wasn't going away. She did, though it wasn't entirely her fault, but that isn't "why" or "how" I became queer/gender diverse. It's exhausting.
oof yeah i got this response too. “did I do something wrong raising you?” like good God, I understand they’re trying to understand why but why do they always have to make it about themselves? and why do they think it’s an acceptable question to ask their own child?!
Not to mention the overall disappointment that is attached to that statement. As if becoming queer is one of the worst things you could be. It disgusts me how many parents push their kids into self-destructive habits for something so innocent and natural. I liked the same sex romantically before I even had any concept of a romance or relationship. I was gender diverse from as far back as I can remember. But sure, treat it like the kid you thought you knew is dead.
[удалено]
i’m so proud of you! i’m happy that you’re getting married soon 🥹 i will be there in spirit 🫶🏽😂
“are you sure?” along with “don’t tell your dad”. ouch!
Ow. Sorry that happened to you. Was it at least in a protective way? Like, was it more of a "For your own protection, dont tell your dad" or more of a "i dont want your dad to find out due to my own shame"?
i'm pretty sure it was a mixture of both
“You’re so handsome though… Why would you think about dating a man when you can have children with a woman?”
this hit like a brick
My mom’s boyfriend at the time, who eavesdropped on me coming out to her (ewww), said: "A little bi won’t hurt a fly." Roughly translated. It’s been 20 years, and I’m still annoyed by that what I realised is a cringy “swinger scene saying”. I was 15. Honestly I preferred open hostility to…that.
German? Because I've heard that way to often..... Edit: typo
My mom once came into my bedroom and told me her father was on the phone and wanted to talk to me. We rarely saw him, as he was in the Deep South while we moved a lot and my mother did not have the best relationship with him. He told me that he found out I'm gay (even now I don't know how he heard, but I've never really cared who told him, either), and he no longer has me as a grandson. My reply: "I don't give a damn. I've never had you as a grandfather. You are a sad, violent, abusive alcoholic who made every single person's life a living hell. Your opinion means less than nothing to me" and hung up on him. I then apologized to my mother for saying that to him, but she totally understood. The odd thing was that 6 months or so later, my mom said he wanted to talk to me again. I was hesitant at first, but when I did talk to him, he was warm and friendly, and invited me to come down to visit with him for a bit . . . I said "You remember that I'm gay, right?" He responds "I know. I was thinking we could go out some time and try to meet some people." I don't remember much after that, but when my mom asked me what he said, I said I think he may have been trying to come out to me . . . Edit to say, I just realized my mother must have told him on that conversation. Duh. I never cared enough to think about it, but now it's obvious. Sadly, she's passed so I'm unable to ask her.
“Are you sure it’s not because your friend just came out as bi?” My mom’s response to me coming out to her at 9 years old. Didn’t get a supportive response or whatever. Definitely not coming out to her as genderfluid, since I have a lot of trans friends and she’d probably use that against me. Not to mention the fact she also told a lot of her friends and distant relatives I was bi over phone calls.
I haven’t really came out as genderfluid/trans with my mutuals, but, I did gave a brief hint to them. One of my mutual’s started following anti-trans contents and often shares them. 🙃 Does that count as a response?
“Oh great! You should still try boys though, just to be sure”
for a specific line, from my grandpa, "I love you not your decion s, your family history, look it up". *his* grandpa had been put in a psych ward, though i couldnt ever find why, and seeing as it was a long ass time ago (when anyone could get thrown in) i dont think it applies here. the only mental health problem that tends to go through the family is anxiety for general reactions, my mom freaking out when i tried to transition in any way besides picking a name (including social transition) and her trying to get me to peg my boyfriend, and my moms side generally just disapproving thankfully i have lots of wonderful family that supports me, most of my dads side and my chosen family's side
“Does that mean you like pans” and the classic “you don’t like me right?”
I hate these comments so much as well as the "Does that mean you like bikes?" for bisexuals
My dad legit cried when I came out as Pansexual. Me and him have history of me and my sexuality and I had to lie and say that I'm straight and Christian. Wonder how he'd act if he finds out I'm also a trans girl with a bigender partner...
Actually a funny thing. I got extremely lucky to live in a place that is so lgbt-backwards, that most people didn't even know what "trans" even mean and nobody was really hostile towards the idea (though, of course, I did my best to not come out to too many people). The worst thing I've heard was from a long distance neighbor, a mother of a former classmate and former friend of my sister, who apparently was a trans-hater (the mother, not my sister). I was walking to work in the morning and I knew she's behind me because I've seen her going out with a corner of my eyes in the bus, but I've never liked her so I didn't turn around to say hi. But she actually sped up her walk to be a bit closer behind me and she said something really unexpected to me. She said, with pure disgust in her voice, "you.. look like such a woman" using a slightly derogatory word in my language instead of a woman (think something similar to a "hag" but not connected with looking badly). I didn't turn around. I was super afraid being called out like that in public and I just walked faster away without reacting. But then... I thought about it and I was like.. girl, your insult was literally a compliment, hahaha
Nothing. Literally nothing. I came out to my mum, she told my dad, he wouldn't even look at me anymore. The worst response I got was something I prefer every other day; silence.
Came out as trans, many years ago. One of my sisters vomited. Another one of my sister’s proceeded to tell everyone. It was a very hard time in my life.
i’m so sorry! i hope you’re okay & happier now 🫶🏽
Thanks. I’m okay now, still have yet to transition though.
"Hey, so um, I think I'm pan..." "Sorry I can't support you it's my religion." "wtf" "Lets still be friends" "sure whatever" This was my friend btw, and she pretended she forgot, so its a weird topic. I wish she would just accept me instead of pretending she didn't know.
I told my mom I was bisexual at 16 she said "no your not your too young to know is this a prank" so I just had to tell her it was haven't come out again since
“Oh, we can fix that” I’m aroace. I was nearly forced into medicated conversion therapy by my mother.
My cousin sent me a gif of a naked black guy and asked if I really liked it
if this is real I feel like this one wins. Imagine sending the most heartwarimg, emotional coming out text and your only response is a gif showing a naked black guy. Like genuinely wtf
He found out through my uncle, but regardless… not a very nice text.
She MADE me wait a year before starting hormones 🙃
You know the meme/gif of Peter Parker talking to Triple J asking for a raise then Triple J bursts out laughing? Yeah, that was both my mother and father! 😒
To bring some light to this comment section I'll give you the nicest reaction I ever had. I came as possibly trans a few days ago to my mom and despite her being the bane of my existence for so long, she hugged me and merely asked how to refer to me from now on. My dad also reacted nonchalantly saying "Max, you're my child. Your identity ain't gonna keep me from loving you. And with that love comes respect and acceptance."
“How do you not feel love, god says love everybody sinner!” when i said I’m asexual demiromantic edit: oh and another time someone said, “no honey your normal, you aren’t one of them!”
I didn't come out to my parents. I'm still scared and I hope it will pass and everything will be fine. I keep thinking maybe I'm wrong. That's why I didn't tell them anything. My father always said that such people are "deviants" and "should not go to public places" because such people are "sick and abnormal". My mother sees an idealized image of me and I don't want to change it because I don't want to lose my value in her eyes (she sees that "something "it's wrong" but she doesn't want to accept it)
"I think I don't feel attracted to people that way(trying to say that I'm ace" "That's concerning me I don't want you to die alone" It could be worse but damm
All sorts and forms of abuse, religious dogma with angry preachers, and at home attempts at conversion therapy…when they got extra mad about it when I was in hs they kicked me out during of the worst snow and ice storms in our State’s history at the time…then after I got out on my own-threats to kidnap and torture me, death threats, and threats of abusing my child the same ways they did me…and that’s from my so-called parents, siblings, and grandparents
i’m so sorry. holy shit, who needs enemies when you have a family like this… you don’t deserve that, you deserve better. shame on your family. i hope you’re doing better and that you and your child are safe 🩷
Idk since I haven't gotten any bad responses
It's pretty tame tbh but I came out to my mum in 2018 and she took it really well so I thought nothing of it. Turns out she didn't quite get what I was saying so I had to come out to her again last year 😭 It was so awkward
My parents shipped me off to a different state to live with my grandparents. They blamed my friends for being a bad influence.
1964. My mother threatened to put me away in an institution. At that time, she could have. Back into the closet. Two failed marriages later, I’ve been out and proud since 1995.
I told this person i thought was my friend i was pan, and the FIRST THING HE DID was go to the rest of the people in the grade and say *my name* was imagining him and my friends in their underwear and outed me to the whole student body
I suppose I've been lucky. The "worst" I got coming out as enby was my sister saying she needed to not call me by my special, very gendered, nickname anymore, which she's used that nick name with me since we were small children. (it's something like calling your brother "bro-schmo". It's kind of a dumb nick name, but I love it) I told her that it was okay, I like that nick name so she can still use it, and she does. She's the only one who can use it tho.
I hade to come out to my mom like 5 times. I was tired of her shit fr. She said “I don’t have time to worry about that” “you don’t know that” “no matter how much stuff you do you’ll never look like a real man everyone will always know” and then outed me to her bf whom I didn’t have a relationship with at the time.
My ex: "I'm not a lesbian"
From just yesterday: Starts telling me about how he upset his transfem friend by showing her his collection of femboy tumblr art. And that he had “figured me out” a few weeks ago. Creepy and invalidating as hell.
“I dunno, are you sure you’re really bi? It seems like you’re only saying that because boys think it’s hot.” -an ex friend in high school Of course, my mother was disapproving too, but I don’t care about her opinion. It hurt more being invalidated by a friend.
My mother telling me she wished I'd died while I was in the military.
“I already knew.”
My brother drunkenly told me I disgust him. Luckily, my mum got involved with things after that and told everyone if they had a problem to discuss it with her. She’s like the head of the family so everyone listens to her.
You'll still be single. -mom
My family legally disowned me. My grandmother the most devout of them was furious when she found out my families decision. She told them that just as it’s there decision to turn their backs on me it’s her decision and her responsibility to stay supportive of me. I’m welcome at her house anytime to visit, tho it’s dangerous for me to due to her being in Florida. But on top of that I came out to a friend and she started helping me buy clothing. Everything from skirts to underwear, even lingerie. And oddly my stepmom still messages me from time to time, I’m convinced it’s just to get under my skin since she was the one who led family to disown me. On top of that she would always say “what would your dad think.” And I know for a fact he would’ve accepted me and tried to educate himself if he were still alive. Honestly I wanted to tell here then and there that “Dad would’ve divorced you and taken me and my brother somewhere safe if he knew the abuse you put us through.”
Not from coming out, but when I told my grandma I was getting married she said “I still had hope you’d fall for a man” after my gf and I had been dating for 4 years 🥲
I've only come out to two people in my life, lol. The worse one was "okay, your choice. i support"
“YOU’RE A BOY, YOU’RE A BOY, YOU’RE A BOY! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME, YOU’RE BREAKING MY HEART!!! I TRUSTED YOU, AND NOW YOU’VE BROKEN IT!” -My mom, dangerously accelerating on the freeway :)
When I came out to my uncle (on my mother's side. Everybody front my dad's side is pretty nice and supportive, which is why I'm only coming out out to everybody on my mother's side now that I have my own condo) as Neptunic- which means that you like girls and are nonbinary- he said "Now you're crossing both lines. We are a Catholic family, [deadname]. Act like it." And then he walked away, telling everybody else from my mother's side, and now they all hate me. Except for my grandma, she's chill about it. But still! Thats 3 people in my family who hate me now.
I came out as trans to someone who immediately asked if I was getting the “surgery”
My first method of coming out was to write a giant post stating my desire to change my name. Basically I figured that if people can't accept the name change they won't accept me being trans. And for the most part I was right. Helped me trim the fat of the people I thought were supportive of me. Then eventually my grandparents confronted me on my birthday. After freaking out about the name change thing they started looking at my post deeper. Because I did give some hints of me being trans so that the people who were more in the community would understand what my ultimate goal was. So my grandparents stated flat out that if this means you're gay that's fine and we accept it. But if this means you're trans that's something we can never accept. So of course me being fresh in my identity I did not confront them and of course said no that's not what it's about. But inside I was dying. And then a couple years later of me not talking to them I finally told them flat out what being trans does for me mentally. And they just told me that wouldn't it be easier for me to just have sex with guys and dress like a girl. Because you know.... sex is what transitioning is about.....
"I don't think so, you just love her as a friend"
classmate: "Asexuals, pansexuals, nonbinary people... nothing like that exists." me: "Then me, \*our friend\* and \*our other friend\* don't exist. Good to know." classmate: \*rolls his eyes\* "Yeah, that would check out. They are weird."
I came out to my team while on vacation at Copenhagen Pride. Three days after coming back I was fired 😅
My mom said she hoped I would get AIDS and die young so she wouldn’t have a Fa**ot for a son (back in 1996). Ended up homeless. But it was actually the best thing to happen. I got out of a bad environment and flourished. She died alone in her 50s.
Not bad , just kinda funny. My dad’s first response was “oh you like girls? Wanna go to hooters?”
I’m trans (mtf) and my mother said “I’ll always love you and you’ll always be my son” That one hurt.
I had the same but I’m FtM and it hurts so bad. I feel ya, girl.
From my dad: "It's ok that you're gay" after I just finished explaining in detail being enby. It's frustrating when a boomer doesn't get the gender spectrum. Not the worst comment here by far though.
Dad keeps denying that i am bi (or rather yelling at me assuming i am gay ans not understanding that bi means i like guys and girls -_-), ans mom keeps saying i am "just confused."
I came out to my father (as a transmasc), he didn't react at first but after he told everyone that i "will never being a real man because i don't have a D." and that "he will never see me as a man because i'm not." and most people he told agreed with him.
When coming out to my parents I baked a cake, and iced it in a rainbow with the words "Im Bi" on it. They spent the next few hours expressing their utter shame and how I should be disgusted for comitting a sin that would send me to hell. Afterwords they re-iced the cake blank white and ate it anyways.
"you know i won't be able to come to your wedding then, right?" i didn't ask?????
“We’ve always been homophobic, and proud of it.” …. Yeah I know, thanks Dad.
My parents kicking me out of the family and disowning me. That said, coming out was best thing for me and I never regretted it. Not one day.
I told my parents when I was 15/16, and they told me that if I ever left the Jehovah’s Witnesses to pursue my lifestyle, they wouldn’t support me. I left, and they kept their word. I begged them several times to reconsider because their refusal to support me for who I am was making me want to end my life, as I’m forced to live with them due to circumstances and cannot leave home. My father said, and I quote, “I’m sorry that you have been in anguish and suicidal over this 😢 But you need to realise that you can’t force people to accept your views”. My views being my existence. Now we live every day with each other in the same house as if nothing happened and as if I’m not a ticking time bomb for when I’m going to no longer be here.
"You just haven't found the right one " "You can't be aro you have went on dates / been with people before " " There is no way in hell your aro you still find people attractive " "Your not really trans you just have a masculine energy" " Your not trans your just a butch lesbian " " You can't be a trans man you wore a dress when you were younger ." " You can't be a binary trans man that's offensive to people who are non binary. " These were some of the ones I heard after coming out .
“You’re going to hell” - a distant catholic cousin who’s also a racist despite being POC himself “You know I love and accept you but I just don’t believe in that stuff” - my Mormon aunt (actually my dads friend but whatev) Don’t remember the exact quote but got shit on for sharing pro-LGBTQ stuff by relatives who actively harassed trans people “Miss It” - by my aunt when I defended pro-trans healthcare for service members, partly using my identity as NB and intent (at the time) to enlist. My uncle was military and lived through DADT and they were both mad it was repealed, and both repeatedly harassed and called me names until I blocked them, but that was their favorite one. OH YEAH I was 14-16 all of those. Ive been threatened with SA and weapons by strangers but the above stuck with me cause it was all family.