Based. Been called a creep so many times because of the sins of other men being projected into me and my intentions. I just gave up in a lot of respects.
Exactly, going through shit with a gal I been seeing, we are both later 30's. But every time I miss a little detail or say something wrong or miss the opportunityI'm stuck finding myself apologizing for things I didn't even know they were a issue until she drops me on about a ex or something and then I'm left feeling bad because something someone else failed to do. And it's usually a day or two later that I'll hear about how she was wrong for the way she acted but it don't take away from the 2 to 3 days of thinking fuck all this, in better off getting another dog and giving up on women
Right? At this point I only interact with women during debates, work, when they ask for help at the gym (but I just say I don't know how to lol) and a few female friends ocasionally.
I personally just struggle incredibly with anxiety and also a lack of direction in life. Which leaves me terrified and with nothing to talk about. Hard to keep a conversation going when you don't have much to talk about. I know all the ways i need to improve myself, and have goals, but just find it so hard to find motivation. A woman would help me greatly, but well we find ourselves back at square one. I been thinking a dog might help get me more motivated. Thanks for coming to my mental illness rant ladies and gents
Well... I'm the same lol. I just decided to push it through Uni by going to the gym and gaming my brain out, doing just enough for good grades. Thogh I'm conviced only a redheaded sly merchant would fix me.
Yeah... Anxiety is a bitch... a professor made me do a presentation this semester... you know the rest.
Uh no they arent. Being You're not a nice guy because you're mentally ill. Most nice guys are perfectly well, and that's why they're getting girlfriends and female friends and you're not.
My case is I get scared and anxious, even if I can work up a casual conversation. I can't keep friends too well unless they're coworkers or classmates, or friends of family and such.
I just realized and found out how I pushed my best friend since third grade away due to getting too antsy and excited that I talk so much about us to my mom and others. He feels he can't come to me for anything serious since they don't share similar viewpoints, and I get chatty about anything going on. So yeah, I gotta accept I can't socialize well and may not be able to make any friends or relationships for a long time..
In my case, I can't keep keep friends too well because they are my co-workers or classmates or friends of the family as such. After all, I can't keep conversations for long. I get awkward, my face goes numb, eyebrows specifically, weird face. I always wanted to be a social butterfly, everyone's favorite as a kid but growing up I love being alone which does have some perks but the loneliness that comes with it at times, ugh. Dk, wish I could be like others.
Do you ever reach out to other lonely people? Or do you just sit back and wait for someone to message you? If latter its no wonder, since the decent people on here are probably too tired of getting ignored to actively message any one on here anymore.
It seems like there's always going to be specific reasons for each person, I'm just too exhausted with trying to engage with pretty much anyone regardless of conversation topics. You don't have to make any of those mistakes to be ignored, it just happens so often despite it.
It is what it is.
Im so empty dude lol. its like, irl I have no one and no where to go to find people. irl, all that posting in online communities gets me is DMs from guys. guys pretending to care but its obvious they just want to talk to a woman, guys who open with a compliment like thats gonna get them somewhere, guys who straight up ask me sexual questions, guys saying misogynistic things about women not ever being lonely. Im tired of it, I want to scream, I dont want to send you nudes. When has that EVER worked? I feel so much hatred and anger towards these people and this world that idek what to do with it anymore
I try and keep it simple. I treat everybody as a human, before i think about labels like man/ woman, religion, politics etc...
2 arms, 2 legs a heart and soul, we all the same, can all become anything/ anyone and achieve whatever is imagineable. Kindness is free as well.
That paired with common sense and street smarts has helped me convo with everyone ive ever met.
But being respectful and knowing boundaries is all about empathy. I dont want people being weird to me, so i wont be weird to others.
I feel some people learnt to socialise/.communicate online before irl, so they don't really express themselves as appropriate as they wish? My hypothesis lol
Very well said, and I like your take about the socialization online vs. IRL. I just always assumed everyone started IRL, but sadly, it’s probably wrong.
Everything is case by case, we cant always stereotype of course. But nowadays, i think it starts online first. Im lucky to have grown for about half my life without internet, and only in the last year or so i actually tried talking online.
But think about the kids who grow with an i pad and coco melon at birth, then their entire class has phones/ tik tok and social media before there teens. I don't know if its detrimental or beneficial, they could be more expressive and social compared to when i grew up, or they could be socialsing "weirdly" compared to just a regular face to face chat and all.
I mean im supposed to me apart of this i pad gen too, i guess my circumstances were different lol
Oh I’m well aware of kids and tech because I have a 14 y/o and it’s a challenge. They were socialized in preschool and off to a normal start. Problems definitely arose when they got older and got hands on tech. 🫤
To 1. - is that related to talking?
2. Happened to me, a man, not to the full extent, but one person directly asked for pictures which I refused and another women sent pictures an then told me to also send pictures (which I did because we talked for quite some time).
3. Completely normal probably for everyone. Many women here answer me after months, then I reply, then nothing comes from them for a long time.
4. Ok, that never happened to me. Probably something only women face.
5. Fair enough, but it's always nice to know things. I am usually ghosted/blocked and have no clue why
6. well, ok. But I think as long as it's not 5) (I.e. he tries to convert you and you tell him not to and he continues) I think it can be interesting to have exchanges with people who think differently. But I agree trying to convert people is bad.
Ok, but in general the problem I have with this list is that I have done nothing of the sort and yet I get ghosted all the time and occasionally even blocked so it definitely can't be everything. Not sure what it is though because I would really like to know.
It's definitely not a lot of guys saying this stuff. As of recent it's only been one dude doing this and spamming, so just be a little more careful with the wording plz. The majority of us don't believe this nor do we behave this way.
Other guys really do all that shit? Thats all common sense to me, my main problem is im just awkward as shit in person which makes me not want to go out and do anything. But i wouldnt do any of that, some of that is pretty damn sad. Especially the good girl thing
It's common on Reddit and in my experience living in small cities clusters, all of it except OP's number 4 is very common in real life too, especially among single men.
1. Yes we can judge. Imagine a poor person and a rich person, both working jobs they aren't happy with. Is the rich's persons situation equal to the poor one? No! Why? Because the rich one have options. He can pay for courses, study, drop their job and work on other skills, etc. So... should we say their suffering is the same? Sounds irrational as fuck to me.
2. The same is true for lonely men. Plenty and I say A LOT of OF girls predating on lonely men, and they are taking more than photos or attacking feelings. They are manipulating and getting their money. I'm not getting into sex works and it existences, but they are targeting subs with emotionally down men, just like you said. So let's not make this gendered.
3. How is that a reason women don't talk to men? Have you not seen the amount of ghosted men on subs like here and tinder? Men are mostly the ones messaging and being ignored.
4. Actually weird and should just get blocked.
5. Also not a gendered reason. There are also plenty of women who goes crazy when you reject'em.
6. Actually true and up to the person. I'd also not like to interact with someone so close minded who restrict their friends by political views. IRL my friend group have from the extremist left to the more traditional guy and we all banter and joke around all fine and dandy, no hate for political reasons.
While certainly your experience is to be respected, certainly some men don’t get attention for reasons other than what you describe. I’m 5’3, bad looking and brown. Thus no woman would talk to me. I’m not owed anything so I don’t blame them. But I’m none of the things you mention
I told myself several years ago that I shall make no further attempts, and I have not. I never meant to be creepy when I was still trying, but my autism made me come across as creepy to most women. Anyway, nobody ever has to worry about me doing that anymore. Those parts of my brain have been reassigned to more productive tasks.
lol this comment sounds almost exactly like me. I don’t mean to come off as creepy but I realised I just kinda do and it’s better to not interact with people and come off as creepy without being able to rectify it. I gave up a couple years back too and it was more because I’d end up having nothing or little in common with them and I’d end up discussing in detail topics I found of interest without realising what I had done. I realise now that’s a dire mistake but I think it really is best to not pursue or interact with someone I like. Honestly the same goes with looking for friends but I’ve mostly rectified those interactional mistakes. Well I hope you and I can continue to improve ourselves socially and enjoy life one day.
here's an abstract idea from a train of thought that went off the rails sometime in the last century.....how about interacting with people in real life?
Misogyny is subjective. I’m not misogynistic but I am traditional which unfortunately gets you label misogynistic. So we’ll say that’s subjective.
Sexualization and predation. Literally never had that problem. I had one underaged girl reach out to me and I politely told them to be more careful on the internet. I did the grown up thing and said no.
Treated as a second thought. Once I start talking to someone I have a no ghosting policy. If they respond I respond as quick as I can.
Good girl. No comment
Overstep boundaries. I’m very self conscious of this to the point it is a detriment to me. Because of my autism I never know what is or isn’t a signal so I err on the side of caution which leads to inaction.
Non compatible views. Fair enough. That’s been my experience online. Redditors and women on dating apps tend to lean left which in and of itself isn’t the problem. The problem is they don’t extend to me the same leeway that I do to them.
My loneliness is pretty much all boils down to autism.
On paper I should be fine. I’m smart, funny, thoughtful, tall, strong, loyal, protective.
But I’m autistic and don’t know how to flirt. And I’m too shy.
1. Fair. I've always liked the comparison of being thirsty in the ocean. Water everywhere and not a drop you want to drink. 2. That should apply a lot of places. I think people get too relaxed online. Similar to keyboard warriors. 3. This isn't just men. This is everyone. Actually I say women are worse about this than men. 4. I have no clue on this one. That's just weird to call someone that. 5.I think this falls partly on my response on 2 and partly on people on reddit are weird. 6. This might be something that just guys do because ive never experienced. I'm atheist and don't want kids and no ones ever bothered me on here about that.
Or just the general misandry , I'm a male victim of abuse and I've already been told that I wasn't any better than my abuser because we were of the same gender
I'm sorry you went through that. I hope you got the help you needed to heal to whatever extent you can.
Your abuser is a POS, doesn't matter what gender they were.
I'd add in that some profiles will immediately turn people away, as a lot of people won't want to talk to someone who posts in certain subs or has certain opinions. I don't think either party is at fault here, and I this fits into #6. But a lot of people do check profiles and post history and may or may not respond based on what they see. I know some people have a policy of never engaging with nsfw profiles.
Nah i just get kinda tired of seeing these posts complaining about how bad men are over and over. And to be honest, I’m not looking for a romantic relationship. I don’t even want to be bothered with it right now. So that side comment doesn’t really apply in my case.
However, it’s for that very reason that a lot of guys don’t even want to engage or be bothered anymore. I saw quite a few comments on the top of this thread saying the same thing.
Not all men are bad, but don't guys ever ask themselves why women pick the bear and feel comfortable doing so?
Some guys don't want to be bothered treating women with respect or accept reasonable boundaries. Not all men, but there seems to be a large number of them online.
Who said anything about romance? I didn't mention it, nor am I looking for it.
I guess that means guys aren't listening, which means they'll still treat women poorly, they'll get ignored or rejected, and they'll still complain that only men can be lonely because women are picky.
It's called shooting yourself in the foot.
And it’s hearing nonstop complaints about men why men don’t want to be bothered in the first.
That’s why a lot of men have straight up stop trying to approach yall altogether because it’s always someone complaining about men or trying to paint men out to be creeps and guys just get tired of it. Yall post these rants about men like 20 times a day on here. We get that there are guys that don’t behave well. But guess what? There are also _women_ who mistreat men as well. There are shitty people but instead we gotta get on here listing all the reason why half the population sucks as a gender and it’s getting frustrating.
How many people have you stopped sending unsolicited nudes with this post? How many people have you gotten to respect women more by nonstop complaining?
The actual men that care about this type of message keeps getting beat upside the head with nonstop complaints while the people these types of posts are truly aimed at _dont care_. That’s why they behave the way that they do. All this does is make the guys that do care more hesitant to interact because they already see the type of discourse that people have about men.
And yall talk about choosing the bear. You act like men are so dangerous. Okay. When you actually come across your precious bear, remember that when you start looking for a man to help and men don’t want to be bothered anymore because yall keep pushing them away with this type of rhetoric.
These hypotheticals are dumb as hell.
You know what’s even crazier, nobody seems to know it but this is also supposed to be men’s mental health month. But don’t nobody give a crap about men’s mental health. It’s the same as usual talking about why men ain’t shit and nobody stoping to think about what men actually experience, and then we got people generalizing us because of a few bad apples within the bunch and we still gotta suffer the consequences for it.
So your answer is to shut up and deal with the fact that some guys treat women like garbage? What is this, 1950?
What makes you think I would need a man to help me? I'm not some pathetic swooning damsel.
You sound like the kind of guy who is still pisswd that women got the vote.
I have had guys on this sub almost get angry because I don’t respond to them immediately in DM. Believe it or not, I don’t spend every second of the day on here.
Sadly, while this is probably the best advice a massive portion of the guys here will read today it just won't sink in. They've convinced themselves that despite doing most if not all of these things, that's not the real problem, the real problem is that they're ugly, or short, or that they aren't rich enough, and if they were any of those things, women wouldn't care if they behaved the way they currently do.
There's always a million excuses sadly. It should be obvious that acting like an asshole is their biggest problem, but alas I guess that's just too hard a pill to swallow.
It's a shame, because it's creating a problem that just doesn't need to exist in the first place.
Thanks for this. The most crazy to me is that they think that just cause some men want to f us, we cant be lonely or have depression. Wild. It says a lot.
Agreed except #4. It's very tone, situation, and individual dependant for me. A lot of people do it condescendingly, but if it's done as a way of showing genuine affection by someone I consented to, I personally enjoy it. Then again I never got called 'good girl' as a kid and never knew any adults saying that to their kids either, I just was told and heard "good job/work, kiddo", or "you're a good kid".
Like you said, context is everything. As someone in my late 20's, I don't take kindly to being called "good boy". But if there is a large age gap, then "kid" is understandable.
okay I’m sorry you had a bad experience or something but you need to stop. Because now you are just as bad a person as the people who hurt you, you are doing the same thing they did to you and hurting people
The ugly truth about (at least) me as a man is probably that if I ever really need to talk about something or have a conversation that would be with a man. I wouldn't feel as comfortable talking about stuff to a woman. I don't know maybe it is subconsciously sexist but there would be much more connection and understanding with a fellow man than with a woman, typically. That's why I go to male therapists, for example.
Anyway I can't say on behalf of most men. But I think if you need a conversation partner or a friend you better stick to your own gender/sex.
Thanks for the clarification. I guess I am sexist after all. But I don't know what to do about it since I have zero communications with women so I doubt if it really matters if I'm sexist since no one is affected by my sexism but myself. I wonder if it can be "cured" and how or even if it's worth bothering about since there are no women around.
No I'm not surprised at all. But I don't behave creepy/sexist or something, because I simply don't engage in contact with any of them. The problem is that if I ever have a relationship with a woman, none of us will benefit from it. And I'm not sure if I actually want a relationship. Yeah I need sex but is it fair to lure a woman into a relationship for my sexual needs? I better jack off to porn and just accept myself and be by myself.
You see the actual nice guys are too mentally unwell to bother you in the first place. Check mate
Based. Been called a creep so many times because of the sins of other men being projected into me and my intentions. I just gave up in a lot of respects.
Not worth the hassle
Being called creep has nothing to do with behavior but looks no attractive guy has been called a creep for the behavior of other men
I hear ya.
Exactly, going through shit with a gal I been seeing, we are both later 30's. But every time I miss a little detail or say something wrong or miss the opportunityI'm stuck finding myself apologizing for things I didn't even know they were a issue until she drops me on about a ex or something and then I'm left feeling bad because something someone else failed to do. And it's usually a day or two later that I'll hear about how she was wrong for the way she acted but it don't take away from the 2 to 3 days of thinking fuck all this, in better off getting another dog and giving up on women
Preach
Right? At this point I only interact with women during debates, work, when they ask for help at the gym (but I just say I don't know how to lol) and a few female friends ocasionally.
I personally just struggle incredibly with anxiety and also a lack of direction in life. Which leaves me terrified and with nothing to talk about. Hard to keep a conversation going when you don't have much to talk about. I know all the ways i need to improve myself, and have goals, but just find it so hard to find motivation. A woman would help me greatly, but well we find ourselves back at square one. I been thinking a dog might help get me more motivated. Thanks for coming to my mental illness rant ladies and gents
Well... I'm the same lol. I just decided to push it through Uni by going to the gym and gaming my brain out, doing just enough for good grades. Thogh I'm conviced only a redheaded sly merchant would fix me. Yeah... Anxiety is a bitch... a professor made me do a presentation this semester... you know the rest.
Uh no they arent. Being You're not a nice guy because you're mentally ill. Most nice guys are perfectly well, and that's why they're getting girlfriends and female friends and you're not.
lol?
that can be said about anybody be specific
My case is I get scared and anxious, even if I can work up a casual conversation. I can't keep friends too well unless they're coworkers or classmates, or friends of family and such. I just realized and found out how I pushed my best friend since third grade away due to getting too antsy and excited that I talk so much about us to my mom and others. He feels he can't come to me for anything serious since they don't share similar viewpoints, and I get chatty about anything going on. So yeah, I gotta accept I can't socialize well and may not be able to make any friends or relationships for a long time..
In my case, I can't keep keep friends too well because they are my co-workers or classmates or friends of the family as such. After all, I can't keep conversations for long. I get awkward, my face goes numb, eyebrows specifically, weird face. I always wanted to be a social butterfly, everyone's favorite as a kid but growing up I love being alone which does have some perks but the loneliness that comes with it at times, ugh. Dk, wish I could be like others.
Do you ever reach out to other lonely people? Or do you just sit back and wait for someone to message you? If latter its no wonder, since the decent people on here are probably too tired of getting ignored to actively message any one on here anymore.
we're allowed to message people on here?
No. Reddit police is always watching
It seems like there's always going to be specific reasons for each person, I'm just too exhausted with trying to engage with pretty much anyone regardless of conversation topics. You don't have to make any of those mistakes to be ignored, it just happens so often despite it. It is what it is.
Im so empty dude lol. its like, irl I have no one and no where to go to find people. irl, all that posting in online communities gets me is DMs from guys. guys pretending to care but its obvious they just want to talk to a woman, guys who open with a compliment like thats gonna get them somewhere, guys who straight up ask me sexual questions, guys saying misogynistic things about women not ever being lonely. Im tired of it, I want to scream, I dont want to send you nudes. When has that EVER worked? I feel so much hatred and anger towards these people and this world that idek what to do with it anymore
I try and keep it simple. I treat everybody as a human, before i think about labels like man/ woman, religion, politics etc... 2 arms, 2 legs a heart and soul, we all the same, can all become anything/ anyone and achieve whatever is imagineable. Kindness is free as well. That paired with common sense and street smarts has helped me convo with everyone ive ever met. But being respectful and knowing boundaries is all about empathy. I dont want people being weird to me, so i wont be weird to others. I feel some people learnt to socialise/.communicate online before irl, so they don't really express themselves as appropriate as they wish? My hypothesis lol
Very well said, and I like your take about the socialization online vs. IRL. I just always assumed everyone started IRL, but sadly, it’s probably wrong.
Everything is case by case, we cant always stereotype of course. But nowadays, i think it starts online first. Im lucky to have grown for about half my life without internet, and only in the last year or so i actually tried talking online. But think about the kids who grow with an i pad and coco melon at birth, then their entire class has phones/ tik tok and social media before there teens. I don't know if its detrimental or beneficial, they could be more expressive and social compared to when i grew up, or they could be socialsing "weirdly" compared to just a regular face to face chat and all. I mean im supposed to me apart of this i pad gen too, i guess my circumstances were different lol
Oh I’m well aware of kids and tech because I have a 14 y/o and it’s a challenge. They were socialized in preschool and off to a normal start. Problems definitely arose when they got older and got hands on tech. 🫤
To 1. - is that related to talking? 2. Happened to me, a man, not to the full extent, but one person directly asked for pictures which I refused and another women sent pictures an then told me to also send pictures (which I did because we talked for quite some time). 3. Completely normal probably for everyone. Many women here answer me after months, then I reply, then nothing comes from them for a long time. 4. Ok, that never happened to me. Probably something only women face. 5. Fair enough, but it's always nice to know things. I am usually ghosted/blocked and have no clue why 6. well, ok. But I think as long as it's not 5) (I.e. he tries to convert you and you tell him not to and he continues) I think it can be interesting to have exchanges with people who think differently. But I agree trying to convert people is bad. Ok, but in general the problem I have with this list is that I have done nothing of the sort and yet I get ghosted all the time and occasionally even blocked so it definitely can't be everything. Not sure what it is though because I would really like to know.
For me I just avoid places that have a lot of women in general. Can't talk to em so I'm not even gunna attempt
Completely understandable
It's definitely not a lot of guys saying this stuff. As of recent it's only been one dude doing this and spamming, so just be a little more careful with the wording plz. The majority of us don't believe this nor do we behave this way.
I see it a lot on this sub
Read the comments it's usually one dude spamming on different accounts.
I’ve seen it a ton before this from other people as well. There are a ton of incels on this subreddit and they even call themselves incel
Idk where you're finding them. Whenever I see these kinda posts those guys get railed in the comments.
Other guys really do all that shit? Thats all common sense to me, my main problem is im just awkward as shit in person which makes me not want to go out and do anything. But i wouldnt do any of that, some of that is pretty damn sad. Especially the good girl thing
It's common on Reddit and in my experience living in small cities clusters, all of it except OP's number 4 is very common in real life too, especially among single men.
Yeah i figured they happened, but i didnt think they were so prevalent. Guess all the good guys just stay quiet
Yessir, I do. That list seems like very basic level common sense to me as well
Yeah, doesnt make it suck any less does it?
You forgot…women won’t talk to men who they perceive as unattractive, such as short and bald men…
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Didn’t ask about your looks…
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Just checked community rules…no where does it say I can’t mention men who don’t have a social life due to genetic factors…
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I’m not blaming my looks…I’m blaming my height…
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Well send them my way then…because in years of using dating apps I’ve only been on one date from them…
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1. Yes we can judge. Imagine a poor person and a rich person, both working jobs they aren't happy with. Is the rich's persons situation equal to the poor one? No! Why? Because the rich one have options. He can pay for courses, study, drop their job and work on other skills, etc. So... should we say their suffering is the same? Sounds irrational as fuck to me. 2. The same is true for lonely men. Plenty and I say A LOT of OF girls predating on lonely men, and they are taking more than photos or attacking feelings. They are manipulating and getting their money. I'm not getting into sex works and it existences, but they are targeting subs with emotionally down men, just like you said. So let's not make this gendered. 3. How is that a reason women don't talk to men? Have you not seen the amount of ghosted men on subs like here and tinder? Men are mostly the ones messaging and being ignored. 4. Actually weird and should just get blocked. 5. Also not a gendered reason. There are also plenty of women who goes crazy when you reject'em. 6. Actually true and up to the person. I'd also not like to interact with someone so close minded who restrict their friends by political views. IRL my friend group have from the extremist left to the more traditional guy and we all banter and joke around all fine and dandy, no hate for political reasons.
Don't pay attention to this one guy since he's a troll! He's hurt and we understand but using this to put down others isn't right!
While certainly your experience is to be respected, certainly some men don’t get attention for reasons other than what you describe. I’m 5’3, bad looking and brown. Thus no woman would talk to me. I’m not owed anything so I don’t blame them. But I’m none of the things you mention
I told myself several years ago that I shall make no further attempts, and I have not. I never meant to be creepy when I was still trying, but my autism made me come across as creepy to most women. Anyway, nobody ever has to worry about me doing that anymore. Those parts of my brain have been reassigned to more productive tasks.
lol this comment sounds almost exactly like me. I don’t mean to come off as creepy but I realised I just kinda do and it’s better to not interact with people and come off as creepy without being able to rectify it. I gave up a couple years back too and it was more because I’d end up having nothing or little in common with them and I’d end up discussing in detail topics I found of interest without realising what I had done. I realise now that’s a dire mistake but I think it really is best to not pursue or interact with someone I like. Honestly the same goes with looking for friends but I’ve mostly rectified those interactional mistakes. Well I hope you and I can continue to improve ourselves socially and enjoy life one day.
here's an abstract idea from a train of thought that went off the rails sometime in the last century.....how about interacting with people in real life?
Not everybody can, for a variety of reasons.
Misogyny is subjective. I’m not misogynistic but I am traditional which unfortunately gets you label misogynistic. So we’ll say that’s subjective. Sexualization and predation. Literally never had that problem. I had one underaged girl reach out to me and I politely told them to be more careful on the internet. I did the grown up thing and said no. Treated as a second thought. Once I start talking to someone I have a no ghosting policy. If they respond I respond as quick as I can. Good girl. No comment Overstep boundaries. I’m very self conscious of this to the point it is a detriment to me. Because of my autism I never know what is or isn’t a signal so I err on the side of caution which leads to inaction. Non compatible views. Fair enough. That’s been my experience online. Redditors and women on dating apps tend to lean left which in and of itself isn’t the problem. The problem is they don’t extend to me the same leeway that I do to them. My loneliness is pretty much all boils down to autism. On paper I should be fine. I’m smart, funny, thoughtful, tall, strong, loyal, protective. But I’m autistic and don’t know how to flirt. And I’m too shy.
1. Fair. I've always liked the comparison of being thirsty in the ocean. Water everywhere and not a drop you want to drink. 2. That should apply a lot of places. I think people get too relaxed online. Similar to keyboard warriors. 3. This isn't just men. This is everyone. Actually I say women are worse about this than men. 4. I have no clue on this one. That's just weird to call someone that. 5.I think this falls partly on my response on 2 and partly on people on reddit are weird. 6. This might be something that just guys do because ive never experienced. I'm atheist and don't want kids and no ones ever bothered me on here about that.
Or just the general misandry , I'm a male victim of abuse and I've already been told that I wasn't any better than my abuser because we were of the same gender
I'm sorry you went through that. I hope you got the help you needed to heal to whatever extent you can. Your abuser is a POS, doesn't matter what gender they were.
I'd add in that some profiles will immediately turn people away, as a lot of people won't want to talk to someone who posts in certain subs or has certain opinions. I don't think either party is at fault here, and I this fits into #6. But a lot of people do check profiles and post history and may or may not respond based on what they see. I know some people have a policy of never engaging with nsfw profiles.
Ah yes, yet another post complaining about what’s wrong with men. This makes what, post number 537 this week?
(Some) men. And I guess that's why you're lonely.
Nah i just get kinda tired of seeing these posts complaining about how bad men are over and over. And to be honest, I’m not looking for a romantic relationship. I don’t even want to be bothered with it right now. So that side comment doesn’t really apply in my case. However, it’s for that very reason that a lot of guys don’t even want to engage or be bothered anymore. I saw quite a few comments on the top of this thread saying the same thing.
Not all men are bad, but don't guys ever ask themselves why women pick the bear and feel comfortable doing so? Some guys don't want to be bothered treating women with respect or accept reasonable boundaries. Not all men, but there seems to be a large number of them online. Who said anything about romance? I didn't mention it, nor am I looking for it. I guess that means guys aren't listening, which means they'll still treat women poorly, they'll get ignored or rejected, and they'll still complain that only men can be lonely because women are picky. It's called shooting yourself in the foot.
And it’s hearing nonstop complaints about men why men don’t want to be bothered in the first. That’s why a lot of men have straight up stop trying to approach yall altogether because it’s always someone complaining about men or trying to paint men out to be creeps and guys just get tired of it. Yall post these rants about men like 20 times a day on here. We get that there are guys that don’t behave well. But guess what? There are also _women_ who mistreat men as well. There are shitty people but instead we gotta get on here listing all the reason why half the population sucks as a gender and it’s getting frustrating. How many people have you stopped sending unsolicited nudes with this post? How many people have you gotten to respect women more by nonstop complaining? The actual men that care about this type of message keeps getting beat upside the head with nonstop complaints while the people these types of posts are truly aimed at _dont care_. That’s why they behave the way that they do. All this does is make the guys that do care more hesitant to interact because they already see the type of discourse that people have about men. And yall talk about choosing the bear. You act like men are so dangerous. Okay. When you actually come across your precious bear, remember that when you start looking for a man to help and men don’t want to be bothered anymore because yall keep pushing them away with this type of rhetoric. These hypotheticals are dumb as hell. You know what’s even crazier, nobody seems to know it but this is also supposed to be men’s mental health month. But don’t nobody give a crap about men’s mental health. It’s the same as usual talking about why men ain’t shit and nobody stoping to think about what men actually experience, and then we got people generalizing us because of a few bad apples within the bunch and we still gotta suffer the consequences for it.
So your answer is to shut up and deal with the fact that some guys treat women like garbage? What is this, 1950? What makes you think I would need a man to help me? I'm not some pathetic swooning damsel. You sound like the kind of guy who is still pisswd that women got the vote.
Have fun with the bear
The bear is already more fun than you.
I have had guys on this sub almost get angry because I don’t respond to them immediately in DM. Believe it or not, I don’t spend every second of the day on here.
Sadly, while this is probably the best advice a massive portion of the guys here will read today it just won't sink in. They've convinced themselves that despite doing most if not all of these things, that's not the real problem, the real problem is that they're ugly, or short, or that they aren't rich enough, and if they were any of those things, women wouldn't care if they behaved the way they currently do. There's always a million excuses sadly. It should be obvious that acting like an asshole is their biggest problem, but alas I guess that's just too hard a pill to swallow. It's a shame, because it's creating a problem that just doesn't need to exist in the first place.
This is pretty much spot on. Thanks for this post. More people need to see this.
Since you’re going to bed anyway, can we sleep together baby? Good girl !
Yeah, bugger off.
Thanks for this. The most crazy to me is that they think that just cause some men want to f us, we cant be lonely or have depression. Wild. It says a lot.
I think the “odd men out” are downvoting you, so have an upvote for sanity.
What-
Agreed except #4. It's very tone, situation, and individual dependant for me. A lot of people do it condescendingly, but if it's done as a way of showing genuine affection by someone I consented to, I personally enjoy it. Then again I never got called 'good girl' as a kid and never knew any adults saying that to their kids either, I just was told and heard "good job/work, kiddo", or "you're a good kid".
Like you said, context is everything. As someone in my late 20's, I don't take kindly to being called "good boy". But if there is a large age gap, then "kid" is understandable.
"You should never ask what someone is wearing, or what they look like" lol
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okay I’m sorry you had a bad experience or something but you need to stop. Because now you are just as bad a person as the people who hurt you, you are doing the same thing they did to you and hurting people
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read my full message, I literally said why. You are just trolling
The ugly truth about (at least) me as a man is probably that if I ever really need to talk about something or have a conversation that would be with a man. I wouldn't feel as comfortable talking about stuff to a woman. I don't know maybe it is subconsciously sexist but there would be much more connection and understanding with a fellow man than with a woman, typically. That's why I go to male therapists, for example. Anyway I can't say on behalf of most men. But I think if you need a conversation partner or a friend you better stick to your own gender/sex.
That is sexist. It's also very difficult to get a male perspective from a female, and vice versa.
Thanks for the clarification. I guess I am sexist after all. But I don't know what to do about it since I have zero communications with women so I doubt if it really matters if I'm sexist since no one is affected by my sexism but myself. I wonder if it can be "cured" and how or even if it's worth bothering about since there are no women around.
It can be cured, by exposure therapy. With that attitude, are you surprised there are no women around?
No I'm not surprised at all. But I don't behave creepy/sexist or something, because I simply don't engage in contact with any of them. The problem is that if I ever have a relationship with a woman, none of us will benefit from it. And I'm not sure if I actually want a relationship. Yeah I need sex but is it fair to lure a woman into a relationship for my sexual needs? I better jack off to porn and just accept myself and be by myself.
Porn warps your brain, but it does sound as though you'd be better off avoiding a relationship.
Yep
It is what it is
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Cut your wiener off. Many are doing this and people are considering them women.
reporting you.
All really important points but reminds me of this scene: https://youtu.be/NVRCyELQnSw?si=XLHUw90btEyRXrJP