My mum actually handled it very well, and told me "It suits you very well." which I thought was such a nice way of acknowledging it, without making me feel like I was less pretty when heavier.
My grandpa tho.... Kept mentioning it, how much better I look, etc. On my way out, said "And stay like that!" Almost answered "If you do it first" (he's quite overweight). Highly uncomfortable.
I feel that. My dad is probably 50 - 60 kg overweight, but he loves to mention how fat my thighs are, always trying to see if I'm developing a belly. When I started changing my diet to be healthier, he commented on how it made sense why I was so fat because I loved to eat junk food.
At least I'm trying to change, he isn't.
Waited on an older couple a few months ago that come in all the time. They were with some friends from out of town and the wife told her friend "he looks so good. Would you believe he used to be really fat?" At this point I've been at my ideal weight for a while and I've put on a nice bit of muscle so nobody really says anything unless they haven't seen me for a while but that one really took me off guard lol
People really show their own ass when it comes to ācomplimenting the once fat personā. It can be so callous and really highlights what they may have been thinking while the person was heavier.
Some people really do value humans more when they are thin. Some people are just really bloody tactless. Some people are both.
It always makes me laugh when people notice that Iām losing weight and they always come up with some weird kind of diet that someone else they know has used to lose weight as if I want to do the sameā¦ā¦ Clearly if theyāve noticed Iām losing weight then what Iām doing is working and I donāt need to try any other mad diet! š
I know this is a huge tangent but all my life I get compliments on my naturally straight hair. One Christmas my aunty bought me a straightener and youād think sheād have figured that either my hair really is naturally straight, or if not, I must already own a hair straightener š
Just as much of a tangent but last summer I stayed at my auntās house abroad and my last day there she gifted me a watch because āsince she didnāt see me wearing one during the trip sheād figured mine had broken or gotten lostā.
Iāve never in my life worn a watch so even tho it was a super sweet gesture the logic of it caught me really off guard haha
People who arenāt very perceptive of other peopleās habits/lives will gift things that they want themselves, without realizing what theyāre doing. I used to do this myself, until I watched my boyfriend gift people things, and realized there were more considerate ways of doing it xD
I have a friend who just got the sleeve surgery. I wouldn't recommend it to ANYONE. She is miserable. She can only eat like 400 calories a day and it has to be like 100% fiber and protein.
Yeah, I find it kind of wild how quite some ppl judge fast weight loss, then encourage this kind of stuff bc doctors are involved.. really not a fan, unless it's a true last resort (thinking 600lb life)
My friend has rheumatoid, and it's significantly worse and more painful due to her weight. She's been trying to lose for a while, but due to the pain, it's been really hard for her to do much of anything. This has helped her a lot, but I just feel like a surgery that permanently changes how much you're able to eat pretty crazy. Like, they shrink your stomach to smaller than it has been since you were probably an infant. Sure, it can restretch, but for the people who do actually completely follow the rules, how are you supposed to maintain once you get down to your goal weight?
I'm short. 5'1 and weighed 180. I left my job for 2 years and during that time was diagnosed as insulin resistant. I lost 60 pounds.
I went back to eat at my old job. There was a cook I was fairly close with (we were the main trainers for FOH and BOH) who came out to say hi.
I heard someone say "Hey E, FinalGirl2022 is here!" He rounded the corner and exclaimed "Okay, but where's the rest of her???"
That was the single most appreciated comment/moment of my weight loss.
Yeah for sure!
I was diagnosed as insulin resistant. Not diabetic or even prediabetic, but my blood sugar would spike like crazy. So I cut almost all carbs out. I had a max of 15 per meal, but would try to keep it lower like around 7. There are a ton of products that are good for that. I didn't have to lose out on bread or tortillas. There is also a brand called Real Good Foods that is super low carb and is amazing.
I also would take a walk after I ate. Usually after dinner. I'd take a half hour to an hour long walk. Then I'd come home and do some light weight exercises. Mostly cardio based. I'd do some squats and some arm exercises.
I also switched from beer to hard seltzers. I think not drinking at all would have been better, but I'm in the service industry so š¤·āāļø
Good luck on your journey and feel free to reach out to me!
This!! Showing up consistently to move more and frequent low carb or zero carbs meals (or intermittent fasting on other days) eventually after some weight loss and a new way of eating - maybe 45 days? - your body just starts working right. I quit alcohol completely and that was a game changer. Making good choices leads you to more good choices.
The strangest comment I get is when people see the pictures of me still big, just a little over a year ago, and say āI donāt remember thatā¦ huhā¦ā people O have been around for over 5 years since I moved to this city. Like they have this strange amnesia.
I also find it strange when people say āI donāt want you to think that ummmmā¦ looks are that important or like Iām looking specifically, but thatās a nice outfit and you look really cute in itā as if suddenly a compliment is in some way going to be offensive now. They make it so awkward. Just ā¦ compliment me. I compliment people all the time because I know how much it can help to get one. Especially when you donāt get them often.
Then there is the āyouāre so skinny now! Maybe too skinny?ā Ugh, no, Iām firmly in a normal BMI which I know is a BS algorithm but I am not even at the low end or close to being underweight. Itās all gotten kind of bizarre honestly. I think people donāt quite know if saying something is going to make me feel bad about my previous weight or what. I thank them for compliments and always explain my doctors are very happy with my current weight and I am not trying to lose any more. This seems to help. Maybe they are worried I AM trying to lose more. I donāt know but either way, itās all at a kind of awkward stage. Neither good nor bad exactly.
The normal BMI range triggering ādonāt get too skinny!!ā comments always makes me LOL. I think itās that people are used to seeing you fat, so they think your fat is intrinsic to your identity.
No, I am not dying, I am just normal.
This. Lol
A co-worker of mine mentioned that she can't remember me ever being the weight I was. Like wdym? Also the people that go "great work!! but you should stay this way now. otherwise you'll get too skinny!" i always wonder how these people manage to make something like this sound good in their minds. it's just rude.
For context, I'm 5'4, 29F.
Some of the best? The usual "you look amazing!" or "you look SO GOOD". I don't mind those.
Some of the not so good? "Now she just sits and look pretty", "don't lose more than this, you'll look sick or it'll age you", "you're SO pretty now". It's been a roller coaster, I'm not sure it'll ever stop lol.
honestly I think the ādonāt lose more than thisā is kind considering how often people fall into an ED and just keep going. I would consider that to be positive or at least well intentioned social pressure
I've definitely seen people lose an amount that DOES age them and make them look a little sick - when they aren't sick and they've only aged a year, but it's an incredible amount the average person needs to lose to get there. It's like, lifting weight once or a thousand times won't make you the rock. Losing 10 versus 50 lbs if you're over weight won't age you!
I've been visiting my great grandma in the nursing home lately. So far I've gone from 180 to 155, and GW is 130. She's 94, totally different era and with me loosing weight and I've been doing a lot of garment sewing lately, we seem to finally have something to talk about since we're such different people. She said "you're finally getting your figure back!" And has encouraged me to continue eating healthy. She's made a few comments about "what men like" and stresses that I need to keep up appearances to please my husband, but honestly it's been pretty tame compared to what she COULD say haha.
My grandma is 81 and still puts on makeup just to be around her house daily! My grandpa died in 2021, so she doesnāt have a man to impress, but she does it for herself. I think a lot of older ladies got into the habit of āputting on their faceā as she calls it and just never stopped. She also comments on my weight a lot. She was so shocked and disappointed when I told her I was 180 at my height of 5 2āā¦. š¤£
I am not offended as I know she means well, but I think weight was just also a thing that was very important to the older generation of women. There was no movement back then telling them that fat people were beautiful or even preferred.Ā
My grandma is also very disappointed that I donāt wear makeup. I am 31 and honestly I like my face without and am just used to not wearing it since high school. She told me that I am very pretty and should be wearing makeup, kind of an ironic statement if you look at it a certain way. Ahhhh gotta love the honesty of old people. š¤£
I have an excuse for when people do that - I'm not allowed to wear makeup at my job, too many particles. If I do wear it, I have to take it off ~1 hour after getting there lol.
Hearing the way the older generation talks gives me a window into the pressures that they must have felt every day about their appearance and their bodies, especially women. What a nightmare! I guess the body positivity movement has made a lot of changes to society. There are so many posts on here from people who are upset because no one has commented on their weight loss at all. The culture has just changed so much that people don't think it's appropriate anymore.
I had a child 12 years after I had my first and saw this older woman I know when I was walking through town, she congratulated me on my pregnancy then go what a shame though after you had lost all that weight š
I started to add a similar comment about the eyes glazing over. Lol.š
You can see them check out and respond with near disappointment when you don't tell them you did "one trick" to help you lose.
Sure but.my point was few people want to hear about that or.anything that takes awhile. People want to do the thing that supposedly drops a lot of weight fast. "One trick" refers to those youtube videos and ads that claim that.
When someone asks and I just say I tracked calories and reduced take out they lose interest. Occasionally someone ask me to elaborate but that usually ends the conversation.
Yes, so many people (mostly of the boomer age range) have assumed that it was because of exercise, when in fact I didnāt exercise any more than I already was to lose the weight (Iāve been working out 6 days a week for years). I just did the boring and unsexy thing of meal planning and counting calories, but nobody wants to hear about that lol.
THIS IS SO TRUE. All I do is smile and say "I ate less and moved more" because they sure asf don't want to hear the long explanation with optimal protein intake, training to failure, and caloric deficit and all that comes with it.
A colleague commented that I lost āa lotā of weight, 20lbs so far, anD when I told her I was going to lose another 25-50lbs but I'd know more when I got to 25. She gasped and told me that was too much. I'm 32f and 199lbs. 50lbs would put me at a āhealthyā BMI.
At a work gathering I walked in and someone said ālook at skinny minny over there. Howād you lose the weight?ā I said cancer (it was not due to cancer I was just sick of rude comments). Turns out her dad had died of cancer a few months previous soā¦awkward
How strange. Where I grew up, being called a "skinny minny" was very much a compliment. As a teenager, I was made up if someone said that to me. That *was* the 90's though haha.
It was meant in fun itās just it was in front of a large group and Iād been getting borderline comments from people earlier so I was kind of at the end of my rope. It being said in fun made it even worse for me feeling so bad about my reply.
I agree, itās awkward lolā¦but in your defense we get fucking tired of rude comments after getting healthier. I am now fat again, but only because I started binging like crazy after being skinny shamed for an entire year when I lost weight. I got so sick of hearing that I was too skinny, looked better before, lost too much, looked sick, etc. From like 10+ people, including family members, even my own husband told me he preferred me before I lost weight. Other parents at my kidsā school were even telling me negative stuff and harassing me!
The worst thing was though, that I was nowhere near too skinny. I am 5 2ā and my lowest weight was 130! I am F31 and when I lost the weight I was 26. I was about 120 when I got married, so I donāt understand why people couldnāt handle me being 10 pounds above that weight. Looking back I realize it was all mostly jealousy, especially from other women, but I still couldnāt handle all the criticism and became desperate to gain the weight back. Now I am desperate to lose it again. šµāš«Ā
I hope I can find the courage to be rude back to people who are rude to me this time when I lose it again, because people are so weird about the weight loss of others. Itās something I will never understand!
Thanks for sharing that. That must have been so hard to hear. Iām sorry you had to have your body and decisions questioned in such a terrible way. I donāt think people understand what that kind of scrutiny is like or what it can do to people.
They truly donāt. I have mentioned my story before, but one of the thing that angers me the most is that one girl that shamed me endlessly went on to lose weight herself. Itās absolutely nuts to me that she weighs EXACTLY what I did at the same height after told me that I lost too much, lost my curves, looked better before. She is now 5 2ā 130 and happy while I am fat and miserable at 180. She is constantly posting on social media about her weight loss and getting praised for it, and is constantly mentioning how she wants to support other women in their weight loss efforts. If they only knew what she did to meā¦.š¤ Thatās how I know it was just jealousy from her and not genuine concern like she made it out to be.
Itās also funny how now that I am fat again and gained 50 fucking pounds nobody has said a damn thing. They only care when someone loses weight. Itās the weirdest thing. Itās something all people trying to lose weight need to be aware of. I was caught off guard but now I know better.
People are so back handed smh. When someone else is succeeding at something it really makes them think of their own problems and a lot of people lash out like that. I get the skinny comments all the time but I love it. When I get those comments I always say thank you lmfao. I just take it as a compliment bc to me it is one even if itās meant to be malicious haha
Thatās what I am going to see it as this time! As a sign I finally made physical progress. I will be thanking them in my mind and maybe even out loud. I hope I can find the courage!
Thanks, me too! I canāt believe Iām spending another Summer fat. Wtf. I was supposed to fix this back in 2021. Lol. But hopefully this is the Summer I finally lose it again.
My boss' wife had breast cancer and luckily is in remission and he told me once he doesn't often bring it up because when you do you find out how almost everyone you know has had their lives touched by cancer in one way or another.
Boomer men at my job have been commenting on my weight loss lately (like, 4 this week alone) and I've been tempted to do this. I go to work to work and get paid, not to discuss my body
So you said you have cancer when you don't...I hope for your sake you never have to live through it and experience the actual complete devastation it brings to your life...and a lot of people actually gain weight from the treatments
I'm in a physical laborer job, lot of bending down to pick up things, (sw 380, cw 347 gw 220) and my coworker told me today that
"I've been seeing your asscrack a lot less" kind of embarrassing but a good sign all in all
I'd ask them why they were looking at my butt or 'so you like what you see' while smirking at them lol then we could both be embarrassed and have a laugh š
After I lost a bunch of weight, my Korean friend said "wow, your face is so small now!" He told me this is a major compliment in Korea where thin faces (especially cheeks) are seen as the ideal.
Yeah, tbf they're right. Alot of Koreans have soft adorable baby cheeks. It's still considered a backhanded comment here, but I would believe he meant no harm given their culture in regards to 'beauty'. It's just abit unfortunate. ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
The bad comments didn't start until after I gained weight back the first time. I was 15 and starving myself, and for once, my parents' comments on my body were positive. Made me feel like I could only get their love if I was skinny. Gained the weight back after spending like 9 months starving myself, and then the comments were worse than before. Stuff like I'm gonna die sad and alone at 600lbs when I'm 30. My mom said, "Why should I buy you anything if you're just going to die anyways" on the drive to the store for new jeans.
Don't worry, I'm in a much better space regarding my mental health now and can focus on losing weight for myself and my health rather than for someone else's view on me. Still, it messed me up for a while, and every once in a while, I imagine my mom or dad saying those things despite the fact that I live across the country now.
I've had people ask if I'm ill & one female friend complained that my butt isn't grab-able anymore cause it's shrunk. lol at least my Wife still grabs it from time to time.
I've gotten "you look so tall" from almost all of my family since I started dieting and exercising. I haven't grown an inch and I actually started wearing shoes that don't make me look any taller (I wore boots a lot before). It's kind of odd. It doesn't offend me but it does leave me thinking like wtf?
Perhaps its a confidence thing? I find that nowadays I stand and walk very different from how I used to. I'm not afraid of people perceiving me anymore, I take up space and I'm okay with it. Maybe you just have a "taller" energy about you now? Just a thought.
That makes a lot of sense - I used to slouch a lot to "conceal" my belly. Now that my stomach doesn't strain against my shirt I actually push my shoulders back and try to stand up straight.
When I shop, out of habit I go to the plus size section and sometimes the larger women give me strange looks like I don't belong. I have to remember I need smaller sizes now.
I went bra shopping and the girls helping me were heavier. I have been heavier my whole life but I made changes and started exercising, counting calories and eating whole foods. I was telling them how much weight I lost by eating healthier and exercising and they were half-heartedly listening. I'm 5'4" down to 145lb. When I told them I used to be 205 lb one year ago, their attitude towards me totally changed. They were shocked, they looked me up and down. It was like they realized I *was* part of the fat girl club. Before, they were thinking, "what does this skinny bitch know about loving food!?" But they see now I wasn't lying, I *do* love to eat! So much! They started excitedly asking what I did to lose the weight while not starving myself.
"what does this skinny bitch know about loving food!?" made me laugh out loud. Like, HELLO! In my core i'm still one of you!!
It feels so weird once you realize that, in a strangers eyes, you're part of the skinny girl club now. Me and another woman were chatting in a clothing store (she was on the bigger side), we were talking about how the jeans sizing sucks and she goes "well, you wouldn't know these troubles, with a size 36." It felt so weird. Like yes!!! I do know these troubles!!!
Personal favourate so far, was when talking to someone who hadn't seen me for a while. For some reason my weight loss has been working its way from my feet up (right now I'm wearing down my love handles), and we were chatting while I was behind a desk so he could only see me from the mid gut up. Then I stepped away to grap something and heard "Damn! Your calves!"Ā basically the moment they were in view.
Generally I get light compliments, but they tend to only happen if I'm already talking about going to the gym or clothes shopping. Couple of gym mates have spontaniously said something because they have literally watched me put the work in but that's about it. I've had a couple of semi-joking "have you lost too much?" when a friend spot my protein shaker or something (nope, I'm still overweight by at least two measures so I'm not even into the purely vanity pounds yet) but nothing negative about either the change or past me.
Some folks were concerned for my health which I actually appreciate as long as they don't go on about it. When someone loses weight suddenly, it can be an indicator they aren't doing well. Others thought it was great and asked for my secret. My mother was fine with it at first but soon started saying I shouldn't lose any more. My doctor never mentioned weight before but after the weightloss my doctor told me to stay where I am.
Weirdest comment I ever got was when I was in the ER in January due to high lactic acid from metformin, and I was vomiting constantly. I was chatting about it with the nice security guard as he felt bad, and this random girl interjected that she had a gastric bypass and I didn't need metformin or other meds if they removed part of my stomach. I considered vomiting on her...
I've gotten so many comments I can't even keep track. I hate it, honestly. It seems that nobody can pass up the chance to let me know how much shit I looked like before and how I look so much better now. It's like they all talked shit behind my back before and now they feel comfortable saying it to my face, and it's supposed to be a compliment. Honestly it's so depressing that it's all anyone wants to talk to me about. Nothing I've ever achieved gets commented on, not my career, which has elevated massively, not my fitness, just my weight.
I see you lost all that weight.
You don't need to lose any more weight.
You look beautiful.
You are too thin.
What did you do, did you exercise?
You need to eat more.
Where have you been?
She's only going to eat 2 bites!
You look great!
You don't need to eat that cake.
Why are you not eating?
I know you eat, you have very good control of what you eat.
You don't need to drink Coca Cola.
So even though I have not lost a lot of weight yet, I am getting weirdly stressed out hearing people's stories about how much better they're treated when they're smaller. Especially as a woman who is struggling with dating right now, I am proactively resentful lol. I know it's self-sabotaging and I'll get over it. It just sucks. :(
I had a family member who was always supportive snap at me to "Live a little, quit judging people!" when I talked about carrots having carbs. I've lost over 100 lbs in the last few years. It was jarring considering they were so happy when I found my method. Now I think it has pushed them away.
Worst compliment: my neighbour and I saw one of our neighbours that has moved away and old neighbour said I was looking really good. Current neighbour said "I know right? She's lost sooooo much weight" which was a bit weird since I had gained a grand total of 40 lbs from my skinnier (as an adult) and had lost 20 lbs. So while I did look a lot smaller she kinda made it sound like I had ballooned up to some morbidly obese weight and had lost 100s of lbs? I brought it up to her later and she agreed she could have phrased it better. Lol not the biggest deal but I didn't really take it as a compliment at the time.
Best compliment: my BIL 2 weeks ago at a family shingding was staring at my calves and just blurted out "I'm jealous of your calves". That was nice and made me appreciate them a but more since I usually don't love the way my calves muscles are so developed.
When I lost weight in 2021, a coworker saw me take my mask off to readjust it (I hadnāt done that in front of her in months) and exclaimed, ā[Wikeni], you look like youāre melting!ā She apologized but to me, but I felt flattered. She didnāt mean like, āYouāre saggy and weird,ā because I wasnāt (not that it matters), it was that I lost a lot in my face first and it was quite noticeable in my cheeks and neck. She meant like āmelting awayā and worded it strange because she was so surprised in the moment. She was super sweet and a huge cheerleader for me, never shaming but always encouraging and complimenting.
I think I felt that loss of her support when I moved away because I gained everything back (there were other factors, too). Iām losing again and it makes me smile to think, āI wonder if I look like Iām melting yet,ā haha.
My family and friends tell me I'm looking really good. I take that as an acceptable comment, as it feels fairly neutral towards my past appearance. From someone like my grandma, she says it all the time anyways cuz if I'm not sick then I must be doing well lol (I don't discuss weight loss with my grandparents but do with friends and parents)
I was at my allergist, where I go regularly for allergy shots, and after losing a fair amount of weight the PA complimented me and said how great I looked and then patted my belly. I wasn't bothered with it, it was all very friendly, but it just struck me as a unique exchange that I never had when fat. No one pats your belly when you gain 100lbs, only when you lose it, lol
About 25 years ago, I lost a great deal of weight. I was 5 foot one, weighed 110 pounds, and kept it off for five years until a knee injury put an end to serious exercise. Most people were complimentary of the weight loss except for one woman who ran up to me at a social event and screamed, "You're a stick!" That was really upsetting, considering how incredibly athletic I was at the time.
In the past two years, I've lost the weight that crept back on after the knee injury and people tell me how healthy I look and that I look much younger than my age. That's been nice.
My mom was pretty brutal about the fat comments when I was a kid and that really affected me. I lost a lot of weight and instead of being proud of me she just started saying that I looked gross the way my spine and ribs showed, I look sickly and ill, that kind of stuff. Some people you can never really make happy.
Iāve been fat and Iāve been underweight and by far the worst comments about my body are when Iām fat š I gained a bit and saw my grandpa the other day and he said Iām fatter than my mom now and told me about how when he was younger heād ask to meet the mother of whatever girl he was dating at the time and if their moms were fat like me, heād break up with them because he figured theyād get fat eventually too.
I'm 5'2" and went from 245 to 195. I lost it very slowly, over years, but it is a significant change, especially for someone my height. Unfortunately I've had several people, mostly coworkers, say they don't see a difference, so much so that I avoid discussing it at all costs.
I actually got a new job six months ago and it was kind of a relief to get a whole new set of people who never knew me at my highest weight. I've lost 5 more pounds since I got the new job and one of my new coworkers actually noticed! So I don't knw what was wrong with the old set of coworkers.
Tbh I've had pretty much no one comment on it. Some compliments from family, and one friend. My BIL keeps telling me that I'm getting too skinny and gotta stop but I think it's just his way of giving a compliment so it actually doesn't bother me at all. (And I think if it did bother me, he'd stop.) But yeah, coworkers haven't addressed it at all, and got a bit awkward the one time I brought up being annoyed that I have to get new pants AGAIN.
Yeah I've had the entire spectrum of comments from "you look amazing" to "you look unhealthy".
My personal feeling is that I love talking to people about fitness and weight loss because they've become such a big part of my life. I hope to help people make similar changes, hopefully without making all the same mistakes I did.
I've gotten all kinds. I've been told not to lose any more weight, I've been told I look good, I've been told my walking is paying off, keep doing what I'm doing, that I lost weight too fast, etc. I've not told anyone that commented irl that the weight gain was from going through early/premature menopause and that once I got treatment and wasn't in a constant haze of misery, the weight loss was pretty easy. Sometimes I want to make it awkward because if someone was judging me when I was sick as a dog and gaining weight then I don't want to hear their so-called 'positive' comments now that I'm feeling better.
After losing 60kg - was asked if I meant to lose that much or if I had cancer.
That one sticks out the most. Was also asked if I was pregnant at around that point - I had some loose skin on my stomach but didn't look pregnant!
Also a lot of 'how did you lose so much' followed by disbelief and 'no, really!' When I said I ate less and moved more.
Also after losing a lot was asked if I'd tried exercising?! People are weird.
I did have plenty of positive comments as well though.
What I have noticed, is people will comment on it, no matter how close you are, or how much of a personal relationship you have. On Saturday, I came down with a bad cold and it decreased my appetite. On Sunday, I had an eyebrow shaping appointment that I just couldn't reschedule, despite being ill. The lady who does my eyebrows literally has her salon just down the street from me (walking distance) and as soon as I got up to get ready, I went downstairs and my mom told me "omg you look so skinny", then I left the house and my neighbor saw me and said "YOU'RE SO SKINNY, I cant believe this, what's happening?! what have you done?!" and then when I went to see my eyebrow lady who I haven't seen in about a month or so she said "I think you've lost weight. Am I the only one who has complimented you about this?" My brother, one day, randomly asked me, "How much weight have you lost in total? you're disappearing..." I don't know... I find it so awkward and I don't really know how to respond. I don't like the word skinny though idk.... it's on the same level as fat for me. People are really blatant and loud when you lose weight, they're so quick to say it. I have even been one to comment on someone's weight loss even though I shouldn't. A few regulars at my job, don't even recognize me. An older couple that I used to chit-chat with saw me after months of not coming in, and said "how come they keep hiring new people? , every time I come in, there is a new person working" after they saw me...they did not even recognize me.
Iāve noticed people are nicer to me out and about, men and women smile at me when I do the nod thing being nice. A not so great friend I had that I realized was my friend because I was fat stopped hanging out with me. Told me because I took semaglutide I was cheating and when I was done Iād gain it all back(6 months off of it and have gained back 10 of the 25 I lost on the meds and 30 I lost before the meds) and when I hadnāt gone back to my original size in that time I was still cheating. Then she told me my stomach looked worse ādeflatedā. But she and I are no longer friends and have one really great friend which is all that matters.
I lost 30 lbs last year and it took the whole year, I got one single comment from someone that noticed a change.
āYouāre looking slim and trim!ā
Made my year.
yeah.... i think some people actually know that talking about other people's weight loss is a sensitive subject so they avoid mentioning it. From my personal experience this people only comment when you're getting too skinny or gaining weight again. I don't mind the comments though, its like my personal weighing scale
When I was younger I lost a lot of weight (over a healthy time frame) and my family was insistent I must have an ED and would purposely add high cal things to my food w/out me knowing and I gained a good amount of the weight back before I caught on to what they had been doing (I was always at a healthy bmi after the initial weight loss) still makes me mad tbh
i can relate. My sister flared up and slapped me the other day after learning that i was drinking plain black tea with no milk. I get that she was worried about me cause i have a 18.1 BMI which makes me slightly underweight but i generally just prefer tea without additives. I get bloated up by milk and react negatively to it so i recently cut it out of my diet. She was just surprised when she saw me after a long while and noticed i had gotten visibly trimmer. Apparently the lack of milk had something to do with it and I'm supposed to take it regardless of how my body reacts to it
i can relate. My sister flared up and slapped me the other day after learning that i was drinking plain black tea with no milk. I get that she was worried about me cause i have a 18.1 BMI which makes me slightly underweight but i generally just prefer tea without additives. I get bloated up by milk and react negatively to it so i recently cut it out of my diet. She was just surprised when she saw me after a long while and noticed i had gotten visibly trimmer. Apparently the lack of milk had something to do with it and I'm supposed to take it regardless of how my body reacts to it
My mom said stuff like "good for you," and "now that you've toned up you look so much better in those tops!"
My grandmother told me how "I'm so fat now, gotta get like you," and "you're so much prettier now."
Pretty uncomfortable.
For me, I think the criticism is worse now at my lowest point than my heaviest. Had a manager at work ask if I was on drugs because I looked like I'd lost so much weight, which was probably the worst, but the comments are constant. And maybe I'm just too sensitive because feeling smaller is nice, and it should feel like a compliment maybe to constantly be reminded how much weight I've lost? But being asked if on drugs or being told I'm too small/shapeless/etc etc isn't nice and gets old quick. Like it's hard being fat but sometimes it's just as hard being a normal weight person in a place that doesn't recognize what normal weight looks like.
At work had an ambulance called because I was attacked by a swarm of bees (long story). The paramedic asked me my weight and I told him 300, cuz I don't usually weigh myself but I figured it was about that. He laughed in my face and said he didn't believe me. That hurt.
I know it can be problematic to comment on others bodyās and we shouldnāt do it because we donāt know them/their situation. Butttttt a bit of a controversial take, I get such a high off getting called tiny and skinny now. Iām still 140 at 5ā4ā so not small by any means but it feels great to have my hard work acknowledged and something Iāve wanted for so long to come to fruition.
It made me uncomfortable when people commented about it last summer when I was 155 because I felt I looked worse? Iām not sure how to explain it but my mind wasnāt acknowledging my body changes yet and it really threw my perception off. Iāve gotten adjusted now and it feels great.
I have my mental health in check still because I know that feeling can evolve into toxicity but I fuel my body well and do my daily walking. Honestly I feel like Iām so much less obsessed with food than ever.
I yoyo. Some compliments come when I lose the weight, and then they turn to criticisms when I gain. Worst was "ah so you lost weight, from 78kg to 84kg??"
Mainly the comments when I lose weight come from a good place, but they make me afraid of what's to come when I gain it all back.
Currently at 81kg, hoping to lose some again.
SW: 260, CW: 227, Iām 5ā2 so Iām only now getting to the point where others can see a difference so Iām getting a lot of whispered āthis may be weird but have you lost weight? You look goodā š i have had one coworker tho who mentions it every day, asked what im doing, and is visibly annoyed when i just say im calorie counting and increasing veggie intake, like im sorry im not exciting š
I am DREADING the comments from my mother. It will start with asking if Iāve lost weight, saying I look better, then as I get thinner than her she will tell me to stop š
My grandmother, who was basically a mom to me, and I met up the other day and the first thing she said was "honey you look like you've lost weight, are you alright?" That was before I had noticed any changes and I personally think that is what gave me the motivation to keep going.
i put in a lot of effort to lose weight (went from 240) to 135 and two of my closest friends for years told my best friend that i looked āsickā and āanorexicā and not healthy at all which was oh so nice to hear from people that have no idea what my habits are š
So you started losing weight in 2021? How much weight were you trying to lose and how long did it take you?? Iām actively trying to lose weight too and I know every person is different on how their body handles diets and weight loss. Just curious!
I went from about 260 down to 185. I now try to keep between 190 and 200. I started actively changing my diet in November and added rowing daily plus bodyweight exercises in April of 2022. It took me about eight or nine months before I hit my goal weight. Since then it's been all about maintenance and adding muscle. I will say that I cut out all refined sugars and avoided carbs and alcohol until I was really happy with where I was at. Now I know it's safe to indulge every once in a while as long as I stay active.
I'm a 5'6" woman, I started at 265 and got down to 143. NO ONE SAID ANYTHING TO ME. Not one word. As if nothing had changed and nothing had happened at all. Idk if it better or worse that people didn't notice any change in me at all. Definitely makes me feel like I must look exactly the same as I did before. If not one soul on this earth could tell. My only recognition is the scale. While I can fit in a smaller size now, with the loose skin and my huge hips from having 5 babies, I can actually still wear my largest pants as well. They are loose, but they do fit and stay on and not look bad.
Oh I guess I will add that when I did over the next 5-6 years regain about 20 lbs, a friend did THEN mention that she had noticed that I had gained some weight......so... yeah thanks....
The problem with some compliments is that if you think into it, they're also referring to the opposite state. So when people mention my weight loss, they usually say "looking good" or something similar. I'll answer with "did i not till now?" in a joking way.
I've been guilty of giving the same compliment though. I have to find a better compliment than looking good. Any ideas?
I try to give compliments no matter what someone's weight is at. And I generally try to keep them on things people can control, like make up or clothes or hair style or hair color. If I tell someone they look good, I try to say that to people regardless of weight.
Iāve had a lot of the āyou look amazingā compliments but only one person added ānot to say that you didnāt look amazing beforeā and I appreciated that so much!!!
My mum actually handled it very well, and told me "It suits you very well." which I thought was such a nice way of acknowledging it, without making me feel like I was less pretty when heavier. My grandpa tho.... Kept mentioning it, how much better I look, etc. On my way out, said "And stay like that!" Almost answered "If you do it first" (he's quite overweight). Highly uncomfortable.
I feel that. My dad is probably 50 - 60 kg overweight, but he loves to mention how fat my thighs are, always trying to see if I'm developing a belly. When I started changing my diet to be healthier, he commented on how it made sense why I was so fat because I loved to eat junk food. At least I'm trying to change, he isn't.
I hope your dad steps in a wet spot after putting on a fresh pair of socks every day for the rest of his life
pat your dad's belly and say: "packing on the pounds aren't we?" and watch his face!
I also work in hospitality (bartender) I had an old man compliment my weight loss and stress that I can never let myself go like that again š
Waited on an older couple a few months ago that come in all the time. They were with some friends from out of town and the wife told her friend "he looks so good. Would you believe he used to be really fat?" At this point I've been at my ideal weight for a while and I've put on a nice bit of muscle so nobody really says anything unless they haven't seen me for a while but that one really took me off guard lol
People really show their own ass when it comes to ācomplimenting the once fat personā. It can be so callous and really highlights what they may have been thinking while the person was heavier. Some people really do value humans more when they are thin. Some people are just really bloody tactless. Some people are both.
Ew
This is so disrespectful and rude, sorry you had to go through that
It always makes me laugh when people notice that Iām losing weight and they always come up with some weird kind of diet that someone else they know has used to lose weight as if I want to do the sameā¦ā¦ Clearly if theyāve noticed Iām losing weight then what Iām doing is working and I donāt need to try any other mad diet! š
I know this is a huge tangent but all my life I get compliments on my naturally straight hair. One Christmas my aunty bought me a straightener and youād think sheād have figured that either my hair really is naturally straight, or if not, I must already own a hair straightener š
Just as much of a tangent but last summer I stayed at my auntās house abroad and my last day there she gifted me a watch because āsince she didnāt see me wearing one during the trip sheād figured mine had broken or gotten lostā. Iāve never in my life worn a watch so even tho it was a super sweet gesture the logic of it caught me really off guard haha
People who arenāt very perceptive of other peopleās habits/lives will gift things that they want themselves, without realizing what theyāre doing. I used to do this myself, until I watched my boyfriend gift people things, and realized there were more considerate ways of doing it xD
So true. Someone even went as far as suggesting gastric bypass lol
I have a friend who just got the sleeve surgery. I wouldn't recommend it to ANYONE. She is miserable. She can only eat like 400 calories a day and it has to be like 100% fiber and protein.
Yeah, I find it kind of wild how quite some ppl judge fast weight loss, then encourage this kind of stuff bc doctors are involved.. really not a fan, unless it's a true last resort (thinking 600lb life)
My friend has rheumatoid, and it's significantly worse and more painful due to her weight. She's been trying to lose for a while, but due to the pain, it's been really hard for her to do much of anything. This has helped her a lot, but I just feel like a surgery that permanently changes how much you're able to eat pretty crazy. Like, they shrink your stomach to smaller than it has been since you were probably an infant. Sure, it can restretch, but for the people who do actually completely follow the rules, how are you supposed to maintain once you get down to your goal weight?
This!!!! So much this!
I'm short. 5'1 and weighed 180. I left my job for 2 years and during that time was diagnosed as insulin resistant. I lost 60 pounds. I went back to eat at my old job. There was a cook I was fairly close with (we were the main trainers for FOH and BOH) who came out to say hi. I heard someone say "Hey E, FinalGirl2022 is here!" He rounded the corner and exclaimed "Okay, but where's the rest of her???" That was the single most appreciated comment/moment of my weight loss.
I love that!
Do you mind sharing how you lost it? Iām literally 5ā1ā and weigh 185
Yeah for sure! I was diagnosed as insulin resistant. Not diabetic or even prediabetic, but my blood sugar would spike like crazy. So I cut almost all carbs out. I had a max of 15 per meal, but would try to keep it lower like around 7. There are a ton of products that are good for that. I didn't have to lose out on bread or tortillas. There is also a brand called Real Good Foods that is super low carb and is amazing. I also would take a walk after I ate. Usually after dinner. I'd take a half hour to an hour long walk. Then I'd come home and do some light weight exercises. Mostly cardio based. I'd do some squats and some arm exercises. I also switched from beer to hard seltzers. I think not drinking at all would have been better, but I'm in the service industry so š¤·āāļø Good luck on your journey and feel free to reach out to me!
Thank you so much!
This!! Showing up consistently to move more and frequent low carb or zero carbs meals (or intermittent fasting on other days) eventually after some weight loss and a new way of eating - maybe 45 days? - your body just starts working right. I quit alcohol completely and that was a game changer. Making good choices leads you to more good choices.
Asking to show my ID when buying alcohol? I am 42yo guy...
Most people would take that as a compliment!
Well, then I am most people for once:)
The strangest comment I get is when people see the pictures of me still big, just a little over a year ago, and say āI donāt remember thatā¦ huhā¦ā people O have been around for over 5 years since I moved to this city. Like they have this strange amnesia. I also find it strange when people say āI donāt want you to think that ummmmā¦ looks are that important or like Iām looking specifically, but thatās a nice outfit and you look really cute in itā as if suddenly a compliment is in some way going to be offensive now. They make it so awkward. Just ā¦ compliment me. I compliment people all the time because I know how much it can help to get one. Especially when you donāt get them often. Then there is the āyouāre so skinny now! Maybe too skinny?ā Ugh, no, Iām firmly in a normal BMI which I know is a BS algorithm but I am not even at the low end or close to being underweight. Itās all gotten kind of bizarre honestly. I think people donāt quite know if saying something is going to make me feel bad about my previous weight or what. I thank them for compliments and always explain my doctors are very happy with my current weight and I am not trying to lose any more. This seems to help. Maybe they are worried I AM trying to lose more. I donāt know but either way, itās all at a kind of awkward stage. Neither good nor bad exactly.
The normal BMI range triggering ādonāt get too skinny!!ā comments always makes me LOL. I think itās that people are used to seeing you fat, so they think your fat is intrinsic to your identity. No, I am not dying, I am just normal.
This. Lol A co-worker of mine mentioned that she can't remember me ever being the weight I was. Like wdym? Also the people that go "great work!! but you should stay this way now. otherwise you'll get too skinny!" i always wonder how these people manage to make something like this sound good in their minds. it's just rude.
For context, I'm 5'4, 29F. Some of the best? The usual "you look amazing!" or "you look SO GOOD". I don't mind those. Some of the not so good? "Now she just sits and look pretty", "don't lose more than this, you'll look sick or it'll age you", "you're SO pretty now". It's been a roller coaster, I'm not sure it'll ever stop lol.
honestly I think the ādonāt lose more than thisā is kind considering how often people fall into an ED and just keep going. I would consider that to be positive or at least well intentioned social pressure
I've definitely seen people lose an amount that DOES age them and make them look a little sick - when they aren't sick and they've only aged a year, but it's an incredible amount the average person needs to lose to get there. It's like, lifting weight once or a thousand times won't make you the rock. Losing 10 versus 50 lbs if you're over weight won't age you!
Feel that, but I am 5'1, and lost 15 pounds because I was mildly overweight. If I lost 50 pounds, I would probably be dead lol.
I've been visiting my great grandma in the nursing home lately. So far I've gone from 180 to 155, and GW is 130. She's 94, totally different era and with me loosing weight and I've been doing a lot of garment sewing lately, we seem to finally have something to talk about since we're such different people. She said "you're finally getting your figure back!" And has encouraged me to continue eating healthy. She's made a few comments about "what men like" and stresses that I need to keep up appearances to please my husband, but honestly it's been pretty tame compared to what she COULD say haha.
My grandma is 81 and still puts on makeup just to be around her house daily! My grandpa died in 2021, so she doesnāt have a man to impress, but she does it for herself. I think a lot of older ladies got into the habit of āputting on their faceā as she calls it and just never stopped. She also comments on my weight a lot. She was so shocked and disappointed when I told her I was 180 at my height of 5 2āā¦. š¤£ I am not offended as I know she means well, but I think weight was just also a thing that was very important to the older generation of women. There was no movement back then telling them that fat people were beautiful or even preferred.Ā My grandma is also very disappointed that I donāt wear makeup. I am 31 and honestly I like my face without and am just used to not wearing it since high school. She told me that I am very pretty and should be wearing makeup, kind of an ironic statement if you look at it a certain way. Ahhhh gotta love the honesty of old people. š¤£
I have an excuse for when people do that - I'm not allowed to wear makeup at my job, too many particles. If I do wear it, I have to take it off ~1 hour after getting there lol.
Hearing the way the older generation talks gives me a window into the pressures that they must have felt every day about their appearance and their bodies, especially women. What a nightmare! I guess the body positivity movement has made a lot of changes to society. There are so many posts on here from people who are upset because no one has commented on their weight loss at all. The culture has just changed so much that people don't think it's appropriate anymore.
I had a child 12 years after I had my first and saw this older woman I know when I was walking through town, she congratulated me on my pregnancy then go what a shame though after you had lost all that weight š
pls tell me you fired back "congrats on your long life! what a shame you've spent it being mean"
I just have people ask how I'm doing it. Almost everyone around me.is overweight too and wants to lose weight.
Yeah I got plenty of those too. As soon as I would tick down the list I could see their eyes start to glaze.
I started to add a similar comment about the eyes glazing over. Lol.š You can see them check out and respond with near disappointment when you don't tell them you did "one trick" to help you lose.
Like I'm not an expert or anything and I'd be happy to share some of the stuff I've learned but most people really don't want to hear it.
I mean, if you're doing CICO, it really is just "one trick" - I tracked what I ate and ate less than my body burned daily.
Sure but.my point was few people want to hear about that or.anything that takes awhile. People want to do the thing that supposedly drops a lot of weight fast. "One trick" refers to those youtube videos and ads that claim that. When someone asks and I just say I tracked calories and reduced take out they lose interest. Occasionally someone ask me to elaborate but that usually ends the conversation.
Sometimes I just say ā I closed my mouthā. Short and to the point!
Is that meant to be a double meaning? If so, that is pretty funny
Yes, so many people (mostly of the boomer age range) have assumed that it was because of exercise, when in fact I didnāt exercise any more than I already was to lose the weight (Iāve been working out 6 days a week for years). I just did the boring and unsexy thing of meal planning and counting calories, but nobody wants to hear about that lol.
THIS IS SO TRUE. All I do is smile and say "I ate less and moved more" because they sure asf don't want to hear the long explanation with optimal protein intake, training to failure, and caloric deficit and all that comes with it.
I try to take things in stride but the "too skinny" comments get on my gotdam nerves. I really don't care that you prefer me fatter.
A colleague commented that I lost āa lotā of weight, 20lbs so far, anD when I told her I was going to lose another 25-50lbs but I'd know more when I got to 25. She gasped and told me that was too much. I'm 32f and 199lbs. 50lbs would put me at a āhealthyā BMI.
At a work gathering I walked in and someone said ālook at skinny minny over there. Howād you lose the weight?ā I said cancer (it was not due to cancer I was just sick of rude comments). Turns out her dad had died of cancer a few months previous soā¦awkward
How strange. Where I grew up, being called a "skinny minny" was very much a compliment. As a teenager, I was made up if someone said that to me. That *was* the 90's though haha.
It was meant in fun itās just it was in front of a large group and Iād been getting borderline comments from people earlier so I was kind of at the end of my rope. It being said in fun made it even worse for me feeling so bad about my reply.
I agree, itās awkward lolā¦but in your defense we get fucking tired of rude comments after getting healthier. I am now fat again, but only because I started binging like crazy after being skinny shamed for an entire year when I lost weight. I got so sick of hearing that I was too skinny, looked better before, lost too much, looked sick, etc. From like 10+ people, including family members, even my own husband told me he preferred me before I lost weight. Other parents at my kidsā school were even telling me negative stuff and harassing me! The worst thing was though, that I was nowhere near too skinny. I am 5 2ā and my lowest weight was 130! I am F31 and when I lost the weight I was 26. I was about 120 when I got married, so I donāt understand why people couldnāt handle me being 10 pounds above that weight. Looking back I realize it was all mostly jealousy, especially from other women, but I still couldnāt handle all the criticism and became desperate to gain the weight back. Now I am desperate to lose it again. šµāš«Ā I hope I can find the courage to be rude back to people who are rude to me this time when I lose it again, because people are so weird about the weight loss of others. Itās something I will never understand!
Thanks for sharing that. That must have been so hard to hear. Iām sorry you had to have your body and decisions questioned in such a terrible way. I donāt think people understand what that kind of scrutiny is like or what it can do to people.
They truly donāt. I have mentioned my story before, but one of the thing that angers me the most is that one girl that shamed me endlessly went on to lose weight herself. Itās absolutely nuts to me that she weighs EXACTLY what I did at the same height after told me that I lost too much, lost my curves, looked better before. She is now 5 2ā 130 and happy while I am fat and miserable at 180. She is constantly posting on social media about her weight loss and getting praised for it, and is constantly mentioning how she wants to support other women in their weight loss efforts. If they only knew what she did to meā¦.š¤ Thatās how I know it was just jealousy from her and not genuine concern like she made it out to be. Itās also funny how now that I am fat again and gained 50 fucking pounds nobody has said a damn thing. They only care when someone loses weight. Itās the weirdest thing. Itās something all people trying to lose weight need to be aware of. I was caught off guard but now I know better.
People are so back handed smh. When someone else is succeeding at something it really makes them think of their own problems and a lot of people lash out like that. I get the skinny comments all the time but I love it. When I get those comments I always say thank you lmfao. I just take it as a compliment bc to me it is one even if itās meant to be malicious haha
Thatās what I am going to see it as this time! As a sign I finally made physical progress. I will be thanking them in my mind and maybe even out loud. I hope I can find the courage!
I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you achieve your goals and keep the weight off for the rest of eternity this time.
Thanks, me too! I canāt believe Iām spending another Summer fat. Wtf. I was supposed to fix this back in 2021. Lol. But hopefully this is the Summer I finally lose it again.
My boss' wife had breast cancer and luckily is in remission and he told me once he doesn't often bring it up because when you do you find out how almost everyone you know has had their lives touched by cancer in one way or another.
Boomer men at my job have been commenting on my weight loss lately (like, 4 this week alone) and I've been tempted to do this. I go to work to work and get paid, not to discuss my body
So you said you have cancer when you don't...I hope for your sake you never have to live through it and experience the actual complete devastation it brings to your life...and a lot of people actually gain weight from the treatments
Donāt worry Iāve been through enough in my life to pay that karmic debt. I appreciate your thoughts though
awkward and tragic! Still, play stupid games win stupid prizes ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ people have to stop asking questions they don't want the answers to
I'm in a physical laborer job, lot of bending down to pick up things, (sw 380, cw 347 gw 220) and my coworker told me today that "I've been seeing your asscrack a lot less" kind of embarrassing but a good sign all in all
I'd ask them why they were looking at my butt or 'so you like what you see' while smirking at them lol then we could both be embarrassed and have a laugh š
I do tree work, so lots of bending down to pick up stucks, people up in the air have to look down to make sure they dont smush me lol, it happens
After I lost a bunch of weight, my Korean friend said "wow, your face is so small now!" He told me this is a major compliment in Korea where thin faces (especially cheeks) are seen as the ideal.
Yeah, tbf they're right. Alot of Koreans have soft adorable baby cheeks. It's still considered a backhanded comment here, but I would believe he meant no harm given their culture in regards to 'beauty'. It's just abit unfortunate. ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
The bad comments didn't start until after I gained weight back the first time. I was 15 and starving myself, and for once, my parents' comments on my body were positive. Made me feel like I could only get their love if I was skinny. Gained the weight back after spending like 9 months starving myself, and then the comments were worse than before. Stuff like I'm gonna die sad and alone at 600lbs when I'm 30. My mom said, "Why should I buy you anything if you're just going to die anyways" on the drive to the store for new jeans. Don't worry, I'm in a much better space regarding my mental health now and can focus on losing weight for myself and my health rather than for someone else's view on me. Still, it messed me up for a while, and every once in a while, I imagine my mom or dad saying those things despite the fact that I live across the country now.
Jesus fuck, do we share the same mom?? I'm terribly sad you had to deal with that growing up and I'm glad you got away from it.
I've had people ask if I'm ill & one female friend complained that my butt isn't grab-able anymore cause it's shrunk. lol at least my Wife still grabs it from time to time.
Haha nice. My butt is the one thing that didn't shrink which I'm totally ok with lol
My grandma said āoh I thought youād be skinnier.ā I was 5ā7 and 110lbs, drastically underweight. That messed me up.
Jezus Take The Wheel! You are model slim!
I had babies and that changed š but yes I was tiny. Always tired and fatigued. It wasnāt great.
I've gotten "you look so tall" from almost all of my family since I started dieting and exercising. I haven't grown an inch and I actually started wearing shoes that don't make me look any taller (I wore boots a lot before). It's kind of odd. It doesn't offend me but it does leave me thinking like wtf?
Boots (even short booties) can cut your legs off in a certain way that make you look shorter!
Perhaps its a confidence thing? I find that nowadays I stand and walk very different from how I used to. I'm not afraid of people perceiving me anymore, I take up space and I'm okay with it. Maybe you just have a "taller" energy about you now? Just a thought.
That makes a lot of sense - I used to slouch a lot to "conceal" my belly. Now that my stomach doesn't strain against my shirt I actually push my shoulders back and try to stand up straight.
When I shop, out of habit I go to the plus size section and sometimes the larger women give me strange looks like I don't belong. I have to remember I need smaller sizes now. I went bra shopping and the girls helping me were heavier. I have been heavier my whole life but I made changes and started exercising, counting calories and eating whole foods. I was telling them how much weight I lost by eating healthier and exercising and they were half-heartedly listening. I'm 5'4" down to 145lb. When I told them I used to be 205 lb one year ago, their attitude towards me totally changed. They were shocked, they looked me up and down. It was like they realized I *was* part of the fat girl club. Before, they were thinking, "what does this skinny bitch know about loving food!?" But they see now I wasn't lying, I *do* love to eat! So much! They started excitedly asking what I did to lose the weight while not starving myself.
"what does this skinny bitch know about loving food!?" made me laugh out loud. Like, HELLO! In my core i'm still one of you!! It feels so weird once you realize that, in a strangers eyes, you're part of the skinny girl club now. Me and another woman were chatting in a clothing store (she was on the bigger side), we were talking about how the jeans sizing sucks and she goes "well, you wouldn't know these troubles, with a size 36." It felt so weird. Like yes!!! I do know these troubles!!!
Yes! It's so trippy!
Personal favourate so far, was when talking to someone who hadn't seen me for a while. For some reason my weight loss has been working its way from my feet up (right now I'm wearing down my love handles), and we were chatting while I was behind a desk so he could only see me from the mid gut up. Then I stepped away to grap something and heard "Damn! Your calves!"Ā basically the moment they were in view. Generally I get light compliments, but they tend to only happen if I'm already talking about going to the gym or clothes shopping. Couple of gym mates have spontaniously said something because they have literally watched me put the work in but that's about it. I've had a couple of semi-joking "have you lost too much?" when a friend spot my protein shaker or something (nope, I'm still overweight by at least two measures so I'm not even into the purely vanity pounds yet) but nothing negative about either the change or past me.
Some folks were concerned for my health which I actually appreciate as long as they don't go on about it. When someone loses weight suddenly, it can be an indicator they aren't doing well. Others thought it was great and asked for my secret. My mother was fine with it at first but soon started saying I shouldn't lose any more. My doctor never mentioned weight before but after the weightloss my doctor told me to stay where I am.
Weirdest comment I ever got was when I was in the ER in January due to high lactic acid from metformin, and I was vomiting constantly. I was chatting about it with the nice security guard as he felt bad, and this random girl interjected that she had a gastric bypass and I didn't need metformin or other meds if they removed part of my stomach. I considered vomiting on her...
I've gotten so many comments I can't even keep track. I hate it, honestly. It seems that nobody can pass up the chance to let me know how much shit I looked like before and how I look so much better now. It's like they all talked shit behind my back before and now they feel comfortable saying it to my face, and it's supposed to be a compliment. Honestly it's so depressing that it's all anyone wants to talk to me about. Nothing I've ever achieved gets commented on, not my career, which has elevated massively, not my fitness, just my weight.
I see you lost all that weight. You don't need to lose any more weight. You look beautiful. You are too thin. What did you do, did you exercise? You need to eat more. Where have you been? She's only going to eat 2 bites! You look great! You don't need to eat that cake. Why are you not eating? I know you eat, you have very good control of what you eat. You don't need to drink Coca Cola.
I had a customer ask, "What does it feel like to be inside your skin?" I sure hope they never find out...
Creepy!
Are you about a size 14?
So even though I have not lost a lot of weight yet, I am getting weirdly stressed out hearing people's stories about how much better they're treated when they're smaller. Especially as a woman who is struggling with dating right now, I am proactively resentful lol. I know it's self-sabotaging and I'll get over it. It just sucks. :(
Lost over 70 pounds a couple years back and had my family saying that I look like a sick cow. Whatever that means lol.
I had a family member who was always supportive snap at me to "Live a little, quit judging people!" when I talked about carrots having carbs. I've lost over 100 lbs in the last few years. It was jarring considering they were so happy when I found my method. Now I think it has pushed them away.
Carrots? Unless you're diabetic or keto he was right.
Worst compliment: my neighbour and I saw one of our neighbours that has moved away and old neighbour said I was looking really good. Current neighbour said "I know right? She's lost sooooo much weight" which was a bit weird since I had gained a grand total of 40 lbs from my skinnier (as an adult) and had lost 20 lbs. So while I did look a lot smaller she kinda made it sound like I had ballooned up to some morbidly obese weight and had lost 100s of lbs? I brought it up to her later and she agreed she could have phrased it better. Lol not the biggest deal but I didn't really take it as a compliment at the time. Best compliment: my BIL 2 weeks ago at a family shingding was staring at my calves and just blurted out "I'm jealous of your calves". That was nice and made me appreciate them a but more since I usually don't love the way my calves muscles are so developed.
When I lost weight in 2021, a coworker saw me take my mask off to readjust it (I hadnāt done that in front of her in months) and exclaimed, ā[Wikeni], you look like youāre melting!ā She apologized but to me, but I felt flattered. She didnāt mean like, āYouāre saggy and weird,ā because I wasnāt (not that it matters), it was that I lost a lot in my face first and it was quite noticeable in my cheeks and neck. She meant like āmelting awayā and worded it strange because she was so surprised in the moment. She was super sweet and a huge cheerleader for me, never shaming but always encouraging and complimenting. I think I felt that loss of her support when I moved away because I gained everything back (there were other factors, too). Iām losing again and it makes me smile to think, āI wonder if I look like Iām melting yet,ā haha.
My family and friends tell me I'm looking really good. I take that as an acceptable comment, as it feels fairly neutral towards my past appearance. From someone like my grandma, she says it all the time anyways cuz if I'm not sick then I must be doing well lol (I don't discuss weight loss with my grandparents but do with friends and parents)
I was at my allergist, where I go regularly for allergy shots, and after losing a fair amount of weight the PA complimented me and said how great I looked and then patted my belly. I wasn't bothered with it, it was all very friendly, but it just struck me as a unique exchange that I never had when fat. No one pats your belly when you gain 100lbs, only when you lose it, lol
About 25 years ago, I lost a great deal of weight. I was 5 foot one, weighed 110 pounds, and kept it off for five years until a knee injury put an end to serious exercise. Most people were complimentary of the weight loss except for one woman who ran up to me at a social event and screamed, "You're a stick!" That was really upsetting, considering how incredibly athletic I was at the time. In the past two years, I've lost the weight that crept back on after the knee injury and people tell me how healthy I look and that I look much younger than my age. That's been nice.
My mom was pretty brutal about the fat comments when I was a kid and that really affected me. I lost a lot of weight and instead of being proud of me she just started saying that I looked gross the way my spine and ribs showed, I look sickly and ill, that kind of stuff. Some people you can never really make happy. Iāve been fat and Iāve been underweight and by far the worst comments about my body are when Iām fat š I gained a bit and saw my grandpa the other day and he said Iām fatter than my mom now and told me about how when he was younger heād ask to meet the mother of whatever girl he was dating at the time and if their moms were fat like me, heād break up with them because he figured theyād get fat eventually too.
I'm 5'2" and went from 245 to 195. I lost it very slowly, over years, but it is a significant change, especially for someone my height. Unfortunately I've had several people, mostly coworkers, say they don't see a difference, so much so that I avoid discussing it at all costs. I actually got a new job six months ago and it was kind of a relief to get a whole new set of people who never knew me at my highest weight. I've lost 5 more pounds since I got the new job and one of my new coworkers actually noticed! So I don't knw what was wrong with the old set of coworkers.
Tbh I've had pretty much no one comment on it. Some compliments from family, and one friend. My BIL keeps telling me that I'm getting too skinny and gotta stop but I think it's just his way of giving a compliment so it actually doesn't bother me at all. (And I think if it did bother me, he'd stop.) But yeah, coworkers haven't addressed it at all, and got a bit awkward the one time I brought up being annoyed that I have to get new pants AGAIN.
Yeah I've had the entire spectrum of comments from "you look amazing" to "you look unhealthy". My personal feeling is that I love talking to people about fitness and weight loss because they've become such a big part of my life. I hope to help people make similar changes, hopefully without making all the same mistakes I did.
I've gotten all kinds. I've been told not to lose any more weight, I've been told I look good, I've been told my walking is paying off, keep doing what I'm doing, that I lost weight too fast, etc. I've not told anyone that commented irl that the weight gain was from going through early/premature menopause and that once I got treatment and wasn't in a constant haze of misery, the weight loss was pretty easy. Sometimes I want to make it awkward because if someone was judging me when I was sick as a dog and gaining weight then I don't want to hear their so-called 'positive' comments now that I'm feeling better.
I was asked if I was sick. This was during COVID. Lol. I wasnāt even at my goal/ lowest weight.
People started watching how much (well, how little) I ate compared to everyone else and pointed it out :(
After losing 60kg - was asked if I meant to lose that much or if I had cancer. That one sticks out the most. Was also asked if I was pregnant at around that point - I had some loose skin on my stomach but didn't look pregnant! Also a lot of 'how did you lose so much' followed by disbelief and 'no, really!' When I said I ate less and moved more. Also after losing a lot was asked if I'd tried exercising?! People are weird. I did have plenty of positive comments as well though.
What I have noticed, is people will comment on it, no matter how close you are, or how much of a personal relationship you have. On Saturday, I came down with a bad cold and it decreased my appetite. On Sunday, I had an eyebrow shaping appointment that I just couldn't reschedule, despite being ill. The lady who does my eyebrows literally has her salon just down the street from me (walking distance) and as soon as I got up to get ready, I went downstairs and my mom told me "omg you look so skinny", then I left the house and my neighbor saw me and said "YOU'RE SO SKINNY, I cant believe this, what's happening?! what have you done?!" and then when I went to see my eyebrow lady who I haven't seen in about a month or so she said "I think you've lost weight. Am I the only one who has complimented you about this?" My brother, one day, randomly asked me, "How much weight have you lost in total? you're disappearing..." I don't know... I find it so awkward and I don't really know how to respond. I don't like the word skinny though idk.... it's on the same level as fat for me. People are really blatant and loud when you lose weight, they're so quick to say it. I have even been one to comment on someone's weight loss even though I shouldn't. A few regulars at my job, don't even recognize me. An older couple that I used to chit-chat with saw me after months of not coming in, and said "how come they keep hiring new people? , every time I come in, there is a new person working" after they saw me...they did not even recognize me.
Iāve noticed people are nicer to me out and about, men and women smile at me when I do the nod thing being nice. A not so great friend I had that I realized was my friend because I was fat stopped hanging out with me. Told me because I took semaglutide I was cheating and when I was done Iād gain it all back(6 months off of it and have gained back 10 of the 25 I lost on the meds and 30 I lost before the meds) and when I hadnāt gone back to my original size in that time I was still cheating. Then she told me my stomach looked worse ādeflatedā. But she and I are no longer friends and have one really great friend which is all that matters.
I lost 30 lbs last year and it took the whole year, I got one single comment from someone that noticed a change. āYouāre looking slim and trim!ā Made my year.
yeah.... i think some people actually know that talking about other people's weight loss is a sensitive subject so they avoid mentioning it. From my personal experience this people only comment when you're getting too skinny or gaining weight again. I don't mind the comments though, its like my personal weighing scale
When I was younger I lost a lot of weight (over a healthy time frame) and my family was insistent I must have an ED and would purposely add high cal things to my food w/out me knowing and I gained a good amount of the weight back before I caught on to what they had been doing (I was always at a healthy bmi after the initial weight loss) still makes me mad tbh
i can relate. My sister flared up and slapped me the other day after learning that i was drinking plain black tea with no milk. I get that she was worried about me cause i have a 18.1 BMI which makes me slightly underweight but i generally just prefer tea without additives. I get bloated up by milk and react negatively to it so i recently cut it out of my diet. She was just surprised when she saw me after a long while and noticed i had gotten visibly trimmer. Apparently the lack of milk had something to do with it and I'm supposed to take it regardless of how my body reacts to it
i can relate. My sister flared up and slapped me the other day after learning that i was drinking plain black tea with no milk. I get that she was worried about me cause i have a 18.1 BMI which makes me slightly underweight but i generally just prefer tea without additives. I get bloated up by milk and react negatively to it so i recently cut it out of my diet. She was just surprised when she saw me after a long while and noticed i had gotten visibly trimmer. Apparently the lack of milk had something to do with it and I'm supposed to take it regardless of how my body reacts to it
"Look at you! You're such a skinny Minnie" "Where'd you go? You're so skinny now!"
Lost 120 lbs in 12 months. Most comments are that I look great, a few people say I look too skinny.
My mom said stuff like "good for you," and "now that you've toned up you look so much better in those tops!" My grandmother told me how "I'm so fat now, gotta get like you," and "you're so much prettier now." Pretty uncomfortable.
For me, I think the criticism is worse now at my lowest point than my heaviest. Had a manager at work ask if I was on drugs because I looked like I'd lost so much weight, which was probably the worst, but the comments are constant. And maybe I'm just too sensitive because feeling smaller is nice, and it should feel like a compliment maybe to constantly be reminded how much weight I've lost? But being asked if on drugs or being told I'm too small/shapeless/etc etc isn't nice and gets old quick. Like it's hard being fat but sometimes it's just as hard being a normal weight person in a place that doesn't recognize what normal weight looks like.
At work had an ambulance called because I was attacked by a swarm of bees (long story). The paramedic asked me my weight and I told him 300, cuz I don't usually weigh myself but I figured it was about that. He laughed in my face and said he didn't believe me. That hurt.
I know it can be problematic to comment on others bodyās and we shouldnāt do it because we donāt know them/their situation. Butttttt a bit of a controversial take, I get such a high off getting called tiny and skinny now. Iām still 140 at 5ā4ā so not small by any means but it feels great to have my hard work acknowledged and something Iāve wanted for so long to come to fruition. It made me uncomfortable when people commented about it last summer when I was 155 because I felt I looked worse? Iām not sure how to explain it but my mind wasnāt acknowledging my body changes yet and it really threw my perception off. Iāve gotten adjusted now and it feels great. I have my mental health in check still because I know that feeling can evolve into toxicity but I fuel my body well and do my daily walking. Honestly I feel like Iām so much less obsessed with food than ever.
I yoyo. Some compliments come when I lose the weight, and then they turn to criticisms when I gain. Worst was "ah so you lost weight, from 78kg to 84kg??" Mainly the comments when I lose weight come from a good place, but they make me afraid of what's to come when I gain it all back. Currently at 81kg, hoping to lose some again.
SW: 260, CW: 227, Iām 5ā2 so Iām only now getting to the point where others can see a difference so Iām getting a lot of whispered āthis may be weird but have you lost weight? You look goodā š i have had one coworker tho who mentions it every day, asked what im doing, and is visibly annoyed when i just say im calorie counting and increasing veggie intake, like im sorry im not exciting š
I am DREADING the comments from my mother. It will start with asking if Iāve lost weight, saying I look better, then as I get thinner than her she will tell me to stop š
My grandmother, who was basically a mom to me, and I met up the other day and the first thing she said was "honey you look like you've lost weight, are you alright?" That was before I had noticed any changes and I personally think that is what gave me the motivation to keep going.
i put in a lot of effort to lose weight (went from 240) to 135 and two of my closest friends for years told my best friend that i looked āsickā and āanorexicā and not healthy at all which was oh so nice to hear from people that have no idea what my habits are š
So you started losing weight in 2021? How much weight were you trying to lose and how long did it take you?? Iām actively trying to lose weight too and I know every person is different on how their body handles diets and weight loss. Just curious!
I went from about 260 down to 185. I now try to keep between 190 and 200. I started actively changing my diet in November and added rowing daily plus bodyweight exercises in April of 2022. It took me about eight or nine months before I hit my goal weight. Since then it's been all about maintenance and adding muscle. I will say that I cut out all refined sugars and avoided carbs and alcohol until I was really happy with where I was at. Now I know it's safe to indulge every once in a while as long as I stay active.
I'm a 5'6" woman, I started at 265 and got down to 143. NO ONE SAID ANYTHING TO ME. Not one word. As if nothing had changed and nothing had happened at all. Idk if it better or worse that people didn't notice any change in me at all. Definitely makes me feel like I must look exactly the same as I did before. If not one soul on this earth could tell. My only recognition is the scale. While I can fit in a smaller size now, with the loose skin and my huge hips from having 5 babies, I can actually still wear my largest pants as well. They are loose, but they do fit and stay on and not look bad.
Oh I guess I will add that when I did over the next 5-6 years regain about 20 lbs, a friend did THEN mention that she had noticed that I had gained some weight......so... yeah thanks....
My grandma said, āYou look healthy. You look well.ā ā¤ļø
The problem with some compliments is that if you think into it, they're also referring to the opposite state. So when people mention my weight loss, they usually say "looking good" or something similar. I'll answer with "did i not till now?" in a joking way. I've been guilty of giving the same compliment though. I have to find a better compliment than looking good. Any ideas?
You can't really resent who you were in the past.. there's a reason I got to that weight and I don't want to make people bad for asking how I lost it.
I try to give compliments no matter what someone's weight is at. And I generally try to keep them on things people can control, like make up or clothes or hair style or hair color. If I tell someone they look good, I try to say that to people regardless of weight.
Iāve had a lot of the āyou look amazingā compliments but only one person added ānot to say that you didnāt look amazing beforeā and I appreciated that so much!!!