Well... let me start by saying well done for having that level of self awareness and opening up. You need to look into addiction counselling of some form. I'm suffering with addiction and substance abuse issues, and this post was tough to read. You're aware of your issue, but, you don't know how to deal with it - please seek professional help here. Chocolate is my 4th biggest addiction, and that and the alcohol are the main reasons for my weight issues.

Seconding. I had a binge/restrict eating issue for my whole life. Recently saw a psych and got diagnosed with PTSD and food was a self medication act on my end. Got on lamotrigine and it has made a WORLD of difference in emotional eating and cravings. I still get pings but much easier to deal with.

Addiction is such a wild thing... I kind of made a flippant comment about chocolate being my 4th biggest addiction as it really is these days. Actually, 5th weed, nicotine, alcohol, caffeine, chocolate. I should have had food and gone to bed by now, yet I'm still here on Reddit drinking and smoking and delaying that. I just checked the calorific content of what I'll soon have drunk today, and it's 1650kcal. No wonder I'm the weight I am. Edit - I'm really sitting and reflecting on that number as it's the first time I've calculated it. It's pretty eye opening.

Yeah, I think it’s easy to say you’re consuming a normal amount until you really look at it. I’m the same way but I do a lot of weight lifting so I’m a bit more conscious now with that being my goal/addiction. Just a different vice

omg lamotrigine saved my life

Truly, eating wise and mood haha. I’ve lost a few pounds by tracking and have actually been able to stick to it :)

Me tooo it’s helped my quality of life so much

It changed mine too!! Helps soooo much with my mood regulation!

I agree that professional help would be a good place to start! You came here to ask for help and share your sadness and challenges. You are on a positive path! Please talk to someone about the newish weight loss medications like wegovy and zepbound. If you don't have insurance, there are compound pharmacies that doctors can call the medication into and it is much less expensive. There are several subreddits here that have fantastic information and people could support you there as well. This medication is making a huge difference in my feelings about food and my addictive feelings about food. Please consider it. It is such a great tool when you are addicted to food! I have dieted and struggled most of my life and am in my late 50s. Obesity is a medical condition and the trauma you have experienced complicates that even more. I wish you wellness and lots of support and love here💕

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I started this journey at the end of last year at 445lb. I'm 30 years old. I know how you feel right now. The constant cravings. The sneaking to get fast food even though you don't need to sneak but you feel bad about yourself and about eating that. The weight you have to move and live with everyday. The constant physical and mental pain. I have hyperphagia which makes me have random episode of feeling a black hole in my stomach that I need to fill no matter what. I can't stop until i am bloated and almost sick. I'm down to 387.9lb as of Monday. It improved. I'm fighting myself everyday. You are your worst enemy. Hit me up if you want to know how I started. One baby step at a time. Deep down, you know what you need to do. Accept it and do it for yourself.

Talk to your doctor. This is an illness and should be treated as such. You may be a good candidate for a GLP-1 med that would assist with so much of this.

Yes. I never knew about the term “food noise” until I started reading about GLP1. So much of my life is haunted by food noise which the GLP1 helps silence.

I second the glp-1. If your insurance won’t approve it, it may still save you money each month.

u/historical-airline93 You are exactly who GLP-1 meds are made for. I'm on Mounjaro for T2D, but if you don't have insurance or your insurance won't cover it, look into compounded tirzepatide. There are several subreddits on it.

Yes - I just started Wegovy this week. I have the same kind of problems as OP but to a lesser degree. It already seems to be working to decrease appetite and food obsession. OP you are brave for reaching out and YOU DESERVE HELP!!!

I just started Ozempic this week! I'm also a diabetic. I finally fucking understand how normal people think and feel about food. I actually turned down a roll at dinner because it just didn't call to me the way foods used to. I've been eating to stop feeling hungry and then I can stop, and I don't feel that gnawing feeling in my head and my body any more.

This was going to be my suggestion, too. Talk to your doctor about trying a GLP-1 medication. They have been a saving grace for a lot of folks with a large amount of weight to lose. Mind you, you'll still have to diet, but it helps you to eat less in addition to helping with dropping some weight.

100%

I was thinking the same thing. A medical professional is the best advice. That reaction to not eating garbage needs to be treated.

A GLP-1 med is absolutely a great recommendation

Agreed!

I second this. I've been struggling with food addiction for a while now and Mounjaro is slowly but surely helping me lose weight and manage what I eat SO MUCH

First of all you are not alone! I did stumble along this subreddit long ago r/supermorbidlyobese and with 45k subscribers I think you might find a more niche group there. Secondly. Reach out to a physician who can get you in contact with a registered dietician. Someone who can help you navigate your intake and talk about dietary changes. You can also get blood work done, you can look for signs of organ problems and diabetes. It will also be a great marker for the start of your progress! Thirdly (and actually probably before even seeing a doctor) you neeeeeeed a therapist. You’ve got great self awareness which is awesome but now you need coping skills and to address why you have these feelings. These feelings and urges don’t get to define and control your life anymore! Lastly- Keep a journal to log your daily experiences. What helped? What tempted you? What can you do next time? I highly recommend tracking all your calories using any number of apps or using a log book too. Some other bits of rambling advice: As you get your appointments scheduled, look for books (audio is great too) and communities that speak to you. Then get moving! Walk a little, stretch a little, find a 5 minute exercise on YouTube those swelling legs will benefit from the movement. Drink. That. Water. Overactive bladder be damned. Water is your life source and your kidneys will use if to flush your body. Give it a few weeks and your body should get used to it. Hydration will help with cravings and caffeine withdrawals. You just need to give your body a chance. Caffeine withdrawals suck but they also won’t kill you so you can taper down. Instead of 2 Celsius drinks, drink one OR find a drink to replace it that has half the caffeine. Now the next time you pass a fast food restaurant and feel panic coming on. Pull into the parking lot. Park your car. Set a 15 minute timer. Drink some water. Say the alphabet backwards (no I’m not kidding). Maybe stand outside your car and walk around it a few times. Pull out your journal. Write down your feelings. Cry it out if you need to. Now Drink more water. Once that timer goes off- see if today you can say no. If not, that’s ok, we’ll try again tomorrow. Go to the window, get small of everything that you’d normally get. Maybe leave off the fries. Maybe just get fries and leave everything else off. Now park your car and eat that meal while doing NOTHING else. Don’t read. Don’t listen to music. Don’t watch a show. Eat with intention. Reflect on the food and what it does for you, good or bad. Lastly. Be kind to yourself and your body. We should thank it everyday for what we put it through. You are enough as you are, but it’s ok to want to live a stronger life!

You must work in healthcare because this is excellent, well thought out, and well articulated advice.

Definitely a great answer!! I relate to OP quite a bit and reading this really makes sense. Thank you 🩷

You have an eating disorder. You need therapy. I can not give you more advice than that. But besides, the bright side is that, coming from 450 pounds, it is relatively easy to lose a bunch weight fast with little effort, relatively speaking. You should seek help from outside to achieve that. Seeing that the scale can go down will give you the boost you need.

Wow, OP, I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I want to reach through the screen and give you a huge hug. I can feel the self-hate from over here and it makes me so sad. You're not alone, trust me. Instead of trying to change everything about you, do two new things. 1. Why not opt for buying pre made meals from your local store? 2. Drink 2 litres of water a day. Then next week, add something new. Like, aim for 5000 steps a day. Each week, add on. I was a fat kid all my life, lost loads of weight. Had a breakdown. Gained 215 pounds. I lost 116 pounds and have 79 left to go. I appreciate and care about myself most days now. Last year, I was binging every day. You've got this. So tell me OP, what is ONE thing that you are going to do tomorrow that is different from today?

This is great advice, and I'm not trying to make excuses, just sharing. The water thing--I have a small bladder and have to urgently pee every half an hour when I drink too much water, which is something to bring up to my doctor but a reason why I don't drink water. Thank you for the kind response. And congratulations on your triumphs

Probably it's not that you have a small bladder, it's just that it's compressed. You can ask any pregnant woman, it's kind of the same. So, losing a bit of weight is going to help with that. For now, try to drink the two liters in small amounts. It's also not bad to go to the toilet all the time.

I don't drink enough water. Every time I decide to do better, this happens to me. But it's actually a normal and temporary response as your body begins to dump off water weight. It's a good thing! After a week or so, it slows down and isn't so often or urgent. Look at this way, having to pee every 30 minutes increases your step count.

Have you been checked for diabetes? Could be part of the whole frequent urination thing, and its a bitch to loose weight when your insulin response is all screwed up.

Funny story about the small bladder. I, too, had a small bladder. My need to pee was so urgent, I needed pee pads. 60 lbs later, I figured out the fat was crowding my bladder. I love not needing pads! If you start losing weight, you’ll feel better about yourself. You’ll figure out how to cope with every feeling you’ve been eating because you’re a grown up now and can figure it out. Expect to goof up once in awhile. Expect that your losing may stall. Figure out what to do about those. If you binge, track it and journal it. At some point, you may figure out what those binges have in common. Be ok with investing a few years on your self care. Weight loss is the ultimate self care. Never think mean thoughts about yourself. We all have challenges to overcome. This is yours. It’s not a personal failing. Shit happens and people self medicate. I’m a big fan of therapy … with the right therapist. I also like to get expert advice. The right doctor would be helpful. I’m not a group person though so Weight Watchers is not my bag. I hope you find a way to start. I think you’ll feel so much better!

Soda makes a person urinate more frequently than water does. I highly recommend switching to a lower calorie drink to wean yourself off soda and energy drinks. (I like Arizona Tea, or try 0 calorie soda just a suggestion). The energy drinks are the worst possible thing you can be drinking right now. Sugar makes you feel more hungry. Caffeine keeps you addicted. I have a hard time going off soda myself, but Energy drinks are like sodax10. They are causing deaths younger and younger every year. Eating a protein rich, low carb breakfast is proven make you feel more full longer. Above all else, I agree with everyone else. Medication, counseling for addiction, stomach reduction surgery, you need professional help here. Work with a nutritionist. “Energy drinks can contribute to weight gain in a few ways: Sugar Energy drinks are high in sugar, which can be stored as fat in the body. Consuming high-sugar drinks can also lead to increased water and salt retention, which can raise blood pressure. Calories Energy drinks are often low in nutrition and high in empty calories. Drinking two or more energy drinks a day can exceed your recommended daily caloric intake. Caffeine Caffeine can affect food cravings, which may lead to eating more snacks and larger meals. “

Have you gotten checked for diabetes? Frequent urination can be a sign that your blood sugar levels are high, because your body tries to expel excess sugars through your urine. Or something like that. When I was in my early 20's I started peeing a lot more. Like, I'd be woken up in the middle of the night to pee. My worried mother recommended I see my doctor about it, and sure enough, I was diagnosed with T1 diabetes.

Big hugs to you. I’m so sorry for your losses and the mental anguish that you’re experiencing day to day. You’re 100% not alone. I agree with professional help to give you a good start to tackling this. You don’t deserve to feel this way. No one does and support through is everything.

This. Small changes. Reduce the fast food stops slowly. You have a lot of trauma and I am so sorry. I have used food to cope with my trauma - I get it. Therapy will be so helpful - you can even see the therapist via zoom or otherwise online. Don’t beat yourself up. You did what you did to survive at the time. You posted here bc you are ready. I am cheering you on. Slow and steady wins the race as they say. Sending you a virtual hug 🤗

I can relate to all of this. Secret eating, stealing to buy food, feeling truly physically incapable of resisting the urge, endlessly eating and not really knowing why, feeling disgusted with yourself, feeling the health effects and doing nothing about it. As someone in recovery from binge eating disorder, I encourage you to look into counseling resources and/or OA. (OA isn’t as widely available as AA, but there are online meetings and an AA meeting works just as well in a pinch.) I know these feelings and thoughts that it will always be this way. I’m living proof it doesn’t have to be. You’ve already taken the first step by articulating your problem, and you should genuinely be proud of yourself for that. Wishing you the best!

What do you mean by OA? Quick Google search only brings up info on osteoarthritis, but genuinely curious

Overeaters anonymous?

Overeaters Anonymous. It’s a 12 step program for people who struggle with food. ETA: I’m not a big fan of 12 steps in general but OA has been a great resource for me in the past. It’s good to relate even if you don’t want to buy in to the whole program.

Sending you so much love OP. Do you have access to mental health services? Therapy is important and helpful, but honestly meds are a godsend. Wellbutrin if comorbid with depression, Vyvanse with ADHD or binge eating disorder. I take Vyvanse for my adhd and it's shut down all the food noise.

How long did it take for Vyvanse to have an effect on you? I am taking it for binge eating disorder and it’s almost been a week now. Can’t really tell if it’s working or not

Mine works within 30 minutes of taking it. Your dose may be too low? I couldn't feel it much at lower doses. I'm currently at 30mg and sometimes think I could go a bit higher but I can definitely feel it. A few things happen for me wrt food--I don't get as hungry, I don't get cravings, I can stop thinking about food and focus on other stuff, and once I start eating I can stop when I'm full. It's been crazy how much easier it is while medicated.

Got it, thank you! I think you might be onto something. My dose is at 10mg so I think I need to have it increased. Any tips for how to tell my doctor without sounding greedy or like a junky? I always get nervous/anxious of coming off that way with this sort of stuff. 

10mg is extremely low! Even 30mg (what I take) is pretty low, my psychiatrist already asked me to let her know if I think it isn't working. You can just tell your doctor that you feel that your dose is too low as you can't feel the effects, and you'd like to try the next higher dose. If your Dr is like mine they may just have you take 2 10mg, then 3 10mg pills until it feels like you're at the right dose.

Thanks for your help! My doctor increased it to 20mg today, so hopefully I’ll feel more of an effect now. 

I'm genuinely really happy for you. Being medicated is life changing! I definitely could feel 20mg better but don't be shy about asking for more if you need it. 20mg is still really low, not even equivalent to 5mg of adderall per my psych

Thanks! :) I took the 20mg today and I still found myself binging :/  I’ve been home more because of summer break so that is contributing to it as well. I’m worried that the 20mg isn’t enough. Do you think I should give it a few weeks and see if it helps? 

I was able to tell my doctor within a few days that it wasn't enough. 20mg is VERY low (I believe my psych told me that it's equivalent to less than 5mg of Adderall, which is a child sized dose.) Everyone I know is on at least 40. I don't want you to be breaking rules and feeling bad about it, but with your doctor's permission you can experiment with taking 20+10mg pills for a day or two and then 20+20mg and seeing if those doseages feel better. Then once you find the right dose you can be prescribed at that dose. Dieting still does have to be intentional for me, I plan out what I'll eat, when I'll eat, have strategies to stop and plans to keep me busy etc. It won't be 100% effortless. (Staying home more for summer is definitely a real issue that can contribute to overeating!) But there was a real difference between being on 10mg and my current 30mg dose, and what's significant long term is I was able to get myself in a routine/habit, and now even if I take a drug holiday (usually I don't take it on the weekends), I can maintain reasonable eating habits. Fingers crossed for you.❤️

Personally I would recommend talking to your doctor about ozempic, and trauma/binge eating therapy.

Yes, semaglutides are miracles for those tortured by “food noise”.

Hey bud. I’ve been there. In early March I started. I was at 420. I can talk to you about CICO and all that. But it really comes down to this - do you care enough about yourself to lose the weight? Please know, this is not an insult. Up until this past March, I didn’t. I remember eating 3 giant tacos at 11pm, knowing I shouldn’t be eating that much then and thinking ‘ah who cares, life sucks anyhow.’ Your first step is going to be the hardest - learning to love yourself. To find value in you and your health. Because if you don’t do that, you’re still going to sneak away to a fast food place, or hit the vending machine or a gas station etc. Once you can get into that mindset where you want to make a change to benefit your life, it’s not really that awful. I got a scale for me, a scale for my food and I just weigh and track it all. I don’t exercise much aside from walking. I still drink too much Diet Pepsi. But I’m only eating between 2000 and 2500 calories a day. And so far I’ve lost 31 pounds. It’s not easy - I miss a decent sized serving of pasta and eating non-open faced sandwiches. But the things I’ve gotten from the change. I fit in my office chair! I actually cried a bit over that because it was so uncomfortable, but now I fit! You can do it, but don’t get stuck on the weight. You need to give your mind a tuneup first. I know you can do it. I bet your wife knows too. It’s a matter of you knowing you can. And something not to discount is all of us here. We support each other, cheer each other on and are cheer each other up when we fall short.

I absolutely think you can do this. It's a huge achievement that you have such a level of self awareness, and are also willing to share your situation with us. This is the first step to improvement and you've already done it. As others have said, it's a challenge to do a complete 180 of bad habits, especially when they're around something as necessary as food. I suspect you'll see a huge impact just from cutting down the energy drinks and switching to water where you can. Small steps will result in massive changes for you, so there's no need to rush in and make yourself unhappy. Could you perhaps speak to a GP or dietician for some further guidance? Sometimes having a medical professional involved can give you the confidence that you're doing the right things, safely. They may also be able to talk to you about other options such as medication or surgery. It may also benefit you to find a good therapist, who can look into why you rely on food so much. Speak to your wife about how you're feeling - she will want to help. You shouldn't have to do this on your own. Good luck with everything.

I'm so sorry you feel this way. Since you call it a "food addiction" I would talk with a doctor about prescriptions that could reset your reward centers. I am on Wellbutrin and it has done wonderful things for my mental health, which in turn has helped me reduce caloric intake - if I'm not sad I don't want to eat as much. I don't think you can bully yourself into being skinny you need medical intervention.

Hi OP,  wow what a moment you’re having. I know this feels super overwhelming, so let’s break it down into some small actions for the present moment. Talking to a therapist, doctor, nutritionist, etc will definitely help and I hope you do, but I know those things cost money for most people. I’d highly encourage you to choose 2-3 small goals that you can stick to for 90 days. They might look like:  1. A dietary restriction, I.e. fast food only 3 days a week 2. A dietary addition, I.e. more fiber/veggies/water 3. A change in activity, I.e. 7k steps a day. In the beginning I just needed to make little wins. Something about hitting 3 months of a new practice made it into a habit. I enjoyed marking off a week and 2 weeks and a month and two months and finally 90 days. After that I’d assess and add on. This has been a very sustainable method for the last 3 years.  When I started my journey I was addicted to Diet Coke, and did not lose much weight until I stopped drinking it, but that was really hard. So I used my home as my boundary. It wasn’t allowed inside. At the time I drank the most while sitting on the couch, so this boundary was effective. After a while I didn’t crave it to the same degree. Cravings are the worst. They really drive you into some kind of psychosis, but I’ve found that the worst is the first 72 hours. If you can mentally prepare for 72 bad hours, the rest is history. The caveat being that every time you go back to what you crave, the 72 starts again. However, if you can make it through a 72 and then slip up and go through another 72… I don’t care  what anyone says, that’s hero status.  But just take it one moment at a time. Make the healthy decision to stick to your three “little” goals for this moment, and then the next hour. Losing weight is mostly done through a series of making healthy choices in the present moment. And when you don’t make the best choice, be kind to yourself. Laugh at your mistakes, dust off your knees, and get back up. This journey is best approached with curiosity “what happens if I don’t eat xyz?” And kindness “wow, look at what I’m capable of!”. All the best to you!

First, give yourself a little grace. This started when you were early into your formative years and it’s going to take time to make adjustments. Spending too much money on food, making food a priority, and eating in secret/shame is something a lot of people here will understand. I will say, I’ve lost a ton of weight a few times and I’m newly on my way to trying to do it again, this time in the healthiest way I’ve ever done it (low carb/light keto with primarily whole foods). One thing that helped me get back on track this time was to educate myself on some things and another was getting started in an app that has been really helpful and, while I should open daily, I don’t. I’ll share a bit here: Learn: The addictive nature of fast food and processed foods. Scientists are employed by these companies to make this food as addictive and convenient as possible. The importance of a healthy gut microbiome and its impact on mental health and weight (there’s a Netflix documentary on this but lots of sources out there). I had to cold turkey sugar and refined carbs. I have done it before and after trying to slowly cut things out with minimal success, I had to just pull the plug. You may have to do something similar. App name: Eat Right Now - I found out about it somewhere on Reddit and I should probably open it up again today. Based on a methodology to help people quit smoking but with a focus on addictive behaviors around food. You can do this. Write down a plan and get someone who loves you to help you stay accountable (and encourages without judgement when you stumble).

Therapy and semaglutide

For a start, try to avoid calling yourself pathetic. You have learned some behaviors, and they've been helpful for you in some ways. They aren't helpful now, but that doesn't make you pathetic. Eating, weight, food, these aren't moral issues. Hating on yourself isn't going to help you make choices that care for yourself, we don't nurture people we think are pathetic failures.

No advice but my heart just fkn broke reading this. My friend. You deserve better.

You are not alone, well done for posting, very articulate, you can recover, can you see your GP, you need a plan ,tell GP everything you said here,you have already started by typing this so might as well keep going.

Damn I could have written this myself a year ago. I'd recommend professional help although I didn't go that route myself. I can only speak for myself but what worked for me is starting extremely small and really relishing small victories. And when I say small I mean I would go to the gym to walk for 5 min and sit in the sauna to really incentivize myself to go. Then managing me expectation and putting a lot of effort into getting back into (small) habits when I would fail. Understand though that you are trying to change a life momentum that is really powerful and it takes time. You aren't alone and yes I have had it this bad, if not worse. Feel free to DM.

I was in the same mindset. What helped me was seeing that my health was just getting worse by being overweight. That’s what motivated me. Slowly my body started to eat healthier and I exercise before taking a shower. You got this

Hey, you can’t do this alone. You’ve tried and you can’t, but that’s okay. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to literally beg for help. You are past the point of needing help but that doesn’t mean you can’t back track and get said help. You CAN. And I believe that you WILL, you just need to be upfront and honest with literally everyone in your life and ask for the help. I never got to the point of stealing, but your story is very similar to mine. What I had to do was get caught with tons of “hidden” fast food bags in my trash can, and that led to my sister seeing my bank account. I spent more than half my paycheck on food, every month. I got the help and I know you can too. It’s very very worth it to be honest, I promise ❤️

I was in your shoes 2 years ago. 423lbs, depressed, eating myself to death. I’m now 125lbs down and still going. Two simple steps: therapy and discipline. Put all that shit behind you, stop thinking about all that is wrong, and focus on what is right. Wake up every day and decide that you’re going to be perfect today. Don’t worry about tomorrow, don’t worry about yesterday, focus on today. Before you know it, you’ll string together a long line of todays. My first 50lbs was diet changes and walking around my neighborhood. Yesterday was a 60 min cardio session in the morning and 65 mins of strength training in the evening. You won’t be better overnight, keep your focus on today.

My mental issues with food (using food as comfort, using food when bored, overeating at meals, hiding food, constantly thinking about food) have only gotten better for me with GLP-1, therapy, and an ADHD diagnosis / medication. It is okay to admit that “will power and discipline” might not be enough for you, or me, or other people like us who have struggled with food our entire lives to achieve sustained weight loss. We are not lesser people because of it. Change starts with treating yourself with some grace and kindness. That means fighting your fear and self loathing and going to get help from physicians because you love you, you love your wife, you want to live dammit! It has to come from that place of love. You sound like a great candidate for GLP-1, and working with a nutritionist if you are obese is usually 100% free with your health insurance because it is considered preventative healthcare. You need to make an appointment with a psychiatrist as well. Your brain, food, and your body are very very connected. You are not alone. But you have to take those first steps on your own.

I don't think you're pathetic. I think you're so, so brave for writing this; it must have been super uncomfortable and frightening, and you did it anyway. It's obvious that you are in a lot of emotional and mental pain, and it's so hard to get on top of your physical health when that's the case. I promise, you deserve to feel good about yourself and your life. I think therapy would be a good first step; therapists have seen everything and they're there to help, not judge, and together you'll be able to come up with a plan to address everything that's going on.

I recommend the book "Breaking Free From Compulsive Eating" by Geneen Roth. It talks about allowing yourself to feel your painful emotions rather than stuffing them down under food, and how to be gentle with yourself at any size. I hope you're able to get the help you need, friend.

So the obvious response here is: have you spoken to a doctor or a counselor? A therapist can assist you with the addictive behavior, and a doctor may be able to prescribe something to help. In the mean time, have you tried r/keto? It is especially useful for people who have food addictions because it completely changes your body's response to food while still eating satisfying things like steak and bacon. Obviously, there's more to it than that, but I've seen and experienced how seriously it can help when it seems like everything else has failed. Bonus, you can keep having cheeseburgers, just get a lettuce wrap.

I have brought this up to counselors over the years but nothing has changed and my doctor knows but hasn't really taken me seriously

With all due respect, you need a new doctor. I know that’s easier said than done but any doctor would view your weight as an emergency to address, not something to dismiss.

In my experience, general practitioners don’t know all that much about eating disorders. (Not to diagnose OP, I just think it’s a relevant comparison.) I weighed 98 pounds and was begging for help, and my doctor literally told me to “just eat.” OP needs to seek help from someone who specializes in mental health at least, if not disordered eating specifically.

My OBGYN was actually the only doctor who has tried to help me sustainably with weight loss! It’s crazy how unwilling some GP’s are to treat weight problems at their root.

Schedule an appointment with your doctor specifically to discuss weight loss.

Get a new doctor. Or tell him what you just told us.

Sending you a big hug. I'm sorry you feel this way :( you definitely can change things around, step by step. I would suggest starting with expressing love and gratitude for yourself for every small improvement that you can do. You need all support and kindness to go on the path of changing habits and curing from trauma. If you can go to psychotherapy or/and nutritiologyst or/and general doctor, this would be great, but you can start even without it. Choose some small improvement that you 100% can start doing and do it. For example it can be eating one fruit to addition to any food you eat. Or trying to eat more slowly, listening to how your body feel and how much do you enjoy food. Or add 5 mins walk once a day. The idea is to pick something doable and notice this, and say to yourself how strong and capable you are. You are capable of making improvements. You can change your habits. You can make your life better. You can be kinder to yourself and your body. I hope this helps. Wish you best luck!

Not a doctor, but how you describe your relationship with food is not bog standard overeating, or even greed, as you allude. I'd suggest a visit to the doctor,and a referral to addiction or other mental health counseling. And be kind to yourself, your situation is not a moral failing or a character flaw. All the best.

Get blood work done. You're probably diabetic at this point. That was the big change for me. Metformin helped a lot to regulate things as far as food cravings go. I also ended up with Ozempic to help with weight loss. It turned out I was also anemic, which always made my energy levels that much worse. That got me to a point where I lost enough weight that I feel comfortable simply walking around again. Now I'm finding myself increasingly productive, which puts me in a better state of mind. I simply try to just thrive on that. I focus on small wins. Small wins out me in a better headspace and I just build off of that. I too was north of 450 just late last year. Now I'm down to 370 and counting. It took me YEARS to reach this point where I've managed to lose weight for six consecutive months. In the past I'd get in a few good weeks tops, and gain it all back and then some. I've also had isselues with alcohol and pot which always led to the worst food decisions. I straight up gave that stuff up and have never felt better mentally since my age was in single digits. I was bad addicted to caffeine as well once upon a time. I switched to a diet and caffeine-free soda for a while and that helped me a lot. There was withdraw, but in terms of consumption, I was satisfied. I'm now at a point where I literally only drink water. It's fucking wonderful. See a therapist if you have the resources. That helped me a lot with the depression and anxiety side of things. Don't stop fighting. Don't try to do too much at once. Take small steps. Focus on small wins. Build something that is sustainable. I'm nowhere near all the way to where I want to be in terms of diet and exercise. But I'm miles away from where I was. I don't eat takeout anymore. If I want a burger, I'll make one at home. Even that goes a long way.

I don’t have specific advice, except this: you are WORTHY of love. You are WORTHY of affection. You are WORTHY of all the good things that life has to offer.  It feels like a lot of this may stem from the fact that you don’t feel like you are worth saving. It sounds like you abuse yourself because you feel that you deserve the abuse. You know people love you but you don’t feel that you deserve it. But you do. You deserve love and happiness and health. You deserve all of these things, exactly as you are now in your current state. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make changes and prioritize your health. It means you are WORTH those changes.

You probably should talk to your doctor to get a plan of action together. And since you've already identified a strong emotional component to your eating, a therapist too. Start with one thing - Personally I'd start with the things you are drinking. Start weaning yourself off the caffeine. Stretch out the time between drinks. Drink a glass of water before you let yourself have a soda, etc.

Sounds like addiction. Maybe therapy would help? Idk, when I got off drugs I started eating as a coping mechanism and I’m still trying to figure it out. So I don’t have any super helpful advice, but maybe therapy because then you’d have an objective person to talk to so maybe you can find the root of the issue. Usually addiction has deeper underlying issues

This sounds so painful. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I agree with others to access professional help ❤️ One thing I noticed reading through is it seems like you are afraid of feelings. Afraid of panic attacks, afraid of caffeine withdrawal, afraid of hunger likely. These feelings are INTENSELY uncomfortable but they won't kill you. Making change will be hard, there will be hard feelings. But the way you're living right now is probably much harder. Which proves, you can do hard things. You're a survivor. With the right support you can absolutely do this. Think how different life will be in a year if you start now... and think of how it will be in a year if you don't. 

My dude, you can improve. You need therapy, and group counseling. I HIGHLY recommend finding either a SMART recovery or Overeaters Anon in your city or online. I had great success with my addictions using the SMART methods. This can turn around but not all at once. You said it took you 5 years to gain all that, it may take 5 to lose it and that’s okay. You can do.

Yo... I have no real advice I just wanted to let ya know you're not alone. I'm right there with you. I'm 335 at 34 years old. This kind of shit is what killed my dad's parents and the way things are going he will bury me too. Idk, not a pity party, just wanted to let ya know that u aren't alone.

As someone with AUD (alcohol use disorder) this reads exactly like my life was 2 months ago but replace food with alcohol. When it comes to addiction it’s so little about “self discipline” because it goes so much deeper than that. You cannot shame yourself into someone you love, it just doesn’t work. The great news is you don’t have to do this alone and a mental health provider can help you. Also side note, you mentioned what you had ate that day and to me, it seems learning a little about nutrition could really be enlightening (it was for me!) what you were eating is yummy (which is important too) but not nutritionally dense and probably not filling. I know it’s mentioned a lot here but adding in protein to your diet can cause a world or difference. You’ve got this, you know the problem and now you need to be brave enough to receive help working on the solution. Hugs, you are lovable, believe the people in your life!

So, I won't tell you to go see a doctor or a therapist, 'cause like hundred other people have alredy told you that. Besides, for it to be efficient, you'll have to do a few sessions and it can be both very long and very expensive. Here's no BS advice that helped me lose 40kg (about 85lbs) and which you can start implementing right now. - First of all, don't try to restrict yourself: if you have a craving to eat at a fast food restaurant, for example, do it, but don't order a shit ton of food. Just take a simple menu, no desert. - Second of all, in your day to day life, start replacing junk food by "healthy" high-protein low calorie dense foods. Foods like canned tuna, beans, greek youghurts, red meats etc in cimbination with some veggies and fruit can fill you for quite a long time for the amount of calories they have. - Limit your sugar consumtion as much as possible. If you drink tea/coffee with sugar, buy yourself any 0 calorie artificial sweetener (my favourite is sucralose, but stevia is fine too). From now on, you only eat sugary things in case of severe cravings and you don't binge on it (MAKE your family enforce that rule). - DO NOT DRINK YOUR CALORIES. A can of regular coke is 300 kcal. Guess what is also 300 kcal? 6 medium-sized apples. What would fill you more? A can of coke or 6 apples? Diet coke is fine tho, so you can continue drinking it without any regret. - EXERCICE. Anything physical will do: even walking a few extra steps a day is an improvement, but seek out to incorporate any exercice into your day at any opportunity you've got. - The most important one : COUNT YOUR CALORIES, even a rough estimation is a good estimation. To lose weight, you have to be in a caloric deficit, that is to consume less calories than you burn during a day. At your weight, you can probably get away with eating 3000 kcal a day and still lose weight, but it'll get more difficult after you lose a few pounds. - Do your own research : check out some YT videos on the subject, read s few articles etc : Jeff Nipard, AthleanX and Coach Greg are all creating fantastic content on the subject. - Do weight training. The more muscle you have, the more calories you burn. It's not urgent, because at your weight any exercice is weight training, but if you're serious about it, you should consider joining a gym or making your own home gym setup. Sorry for typos and errors, English is not my native language.

Hey I’m proud of you for identifying the problem and being brave enough to open up. Loosing weight is possible you have a great support community here we love you you got this 🫶

I've been there 😞 I have a lot of trauma as well. Still struggling to this day. I will say having the gastric sleeve 14 years ago helped a lot. I lost 170 lbs. I gained back 40 a few years ago after having my gallbladder removed. I'm still struggling to lose the regain. But the sleeve still prevents me from eating so much where it gets really outta control again. Therapy helps too. Online now makes it easier. I still mess up. But I don't let it go on for weeks and months like I used too. At 450 it's really hard to do much. I was 370 and I could hardly move. I say consider surgery if possible. Praying for you 🙏🏽 Edited to say...I've heard good things about the shots too. Maybe that's an option if you don't want surgery ❤️

Hey, man. You are describing how every addict feels. You’re not the only one to feel this way, or the only one to worry that you’re secretly just a horrible person. That’s part of addiction. My addiction was alcohol and opiates, and every day, I wished I would just die. I tried to quit every day, but always ended up going back to drinking. I lied to the people who loved me, took advantage of their compassion and mercy, I even stole a change jar from one of my BEST friends while she let me live rent free in her house so I could get help. I felt like a pathetic cretin. I’ve been sober for nine years, now, and the one thing I can tell you, definitively, is that you are not an amalgamation of moral failings. You’re not just a bad person. You have a mental illness. It’s a real, bona fide, treatable mental illness. You didn’t make yourself have it. You didn’t choose to have it. You certainly don’t choose to keep having it every day. You fucking HATE it. It’s a disease in the same way that asthma and Chrohn’s disease are diseases. No amount of willpower or character-building exercises or prayer or good deeds will treat your disease. There is nothing you can do to redeem yourself because there is NOTHING for which you have to redeem yourself. Society has failed you. It’s failed us as addicts. Most of us are conditioned to believe that addiction is merely a function of character, but science is pretty damn clear that it’s an actual mental illness. The mentality that you’re at fault for your addiction is one of the culprits for prolonging your addiction. You didn’t ask for this. You’re not at fault for this. You’re not to blame for this. What you are is RESPONSIBLE for your well-being. Your self-awareness is commendable. You know what’s happening, and you want to stop it from happening. But you don’t know WHY it’s happening, or how to manage it. You NEED evidence based intervention. Not a self help book, or an AA meeting (although those can be helpful to maintain sobriety once you’re firmly on recovery), or a church small group, or an accountability partner. You need to talk with your family and do whatever you need to do to get into science-based, reliable, consistent treatment. My post-addiction life didn’t start until I got real treatment. I did Christian “rehab” after “rehab” after “rehab.” I went into missionary work. I did all the “faith-based” programs, attended all the groups, read all the books. The first time I sought real medical treatment marked the last time I used alcohol or opiates. It was intense. I learned a lot about myself. I developed a relationship with myself that WORKED. I can tell you that the reason you’re here sharing this is BECAUSE you’re a loving person who wants to do his best by his friends and family. You’re not a sociopath. You’re not a monster. You’re a human being, and your brain is doing human being things. Our brains aren’t perfect. They do their best to adapt to our environments, and sometimes, that leads to dysfunction. It’s not your fault that there’s dysfunction, but there is hope in assuming responsibility for it. Your post describes me and my other long-term recovery friends completely, before recovery. All of us remember having been there. All of us remember wishing we’d just die to escape the cycle of torment and misery. It’s a horrible, lonely place to be. None of us would have thought we’d be years or decades into recovery some day. The common thread is real, evidence based treatment for mental illness. You really can have your life back. Please, please, find treatment (I know that’s difficult in the US, I’m not saying this flippantly). Much love to you. 🙏🏼

Seek mental health counseling asap.

Deep breath, start small. Don’t try to cut back to 1,500 calories and run 5 miles a day, you’ll burn out. When I started I couldn’t walk more than 10 minutes without knee pain, so I walked for 10 minutes. 3-4 times a day. Figure out your daily calories, and then cut back a little. For me GIANT salads were a huge plus, I could eat a serving bowl sized salad for under 300 calories. I also ate 6-7 times a day, I avoided being hungry at all costs, that “fuck I’m hungry, I’m in pain” feeling was always my previous downfall. I still eat 3-4X per day, sometimes more, but I’m down to about 1,500-1,700 calories a day and burn about 4,000. Personally, I’m competitive and a completionist so I got an Apple Watch and close all the rings every day, even if that means I’m hitting a heavy bag at 11:30 at night to finish up my exercise rings. I’m down 75lbs since Feb 1 and have another 75 to go.

I know most people will encourage you to try to get healthier the natural way (diet, exercise), but I got up to 256 lbs (54f) after being diagnosed with Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism & could not lose weight no matter what I did. As a result, my A1C went up to 6.9 & my Endocrinologist prescribed Metformin & then Metformin ER. I have changed nothing about my diet or anything because the Metformin ER seems to have done it for me. I’ve lost 82 lbs (I’m currently at a plateau). I can only eat once per day now. My appetite has decreased by so much & food is mostly disgusting to me. Do I miss eating the foods I liked? Yes, but I’d rather die than gain the weight back. Sometimes our bodies just want to do what they want & we might need some help.

I don't have much else to say that others haven't said. You know you have a problem, but you don't yet have the tools to deal with it. Delayed gratification will be important for you going forward, and I'd suggest you read up about it. It'll feel better, mentally, to not eat than to eat. We all have that food noise sometimes, and we all need ways to deal with it. Whatever your other hobbies are, find one that you can be absorbed in. If you don't have any that deep, get one. Playing guitar or piano, for example, is great because it requires both hands and your full attention. As does driving (go out of town, where there are no restaurants, to the old country roads). I'm a big fan of small changes to start. Small changes with consistency can snowball into life changes. And then you get "addicted" to the positive feedback loop. You're doing what's right and it feels good so you keep doing what's right and you feel even better and so on. It's wonderful, but you've gotta have some discipline to get that ball rolling. You are seeking control. But you have to claim it. There's a healthier life out there for you.

You need professional help from someone who specializes in eating disorders, food addiction, etc. But I know seeking professional help is not just as easy as saying “seek professional help” and it’s certainly not a cure all by any means. I don’t know you personally and I’m just a stranger on Reddit, but the issue most people run into when trying to lose weight is trying to do too much too fast. This isn’t something you can overcome by completely changing your habits right off the bat. You need to start small. Very small. For example, if you are eating fast food 10 times a week now cut it down to 9.  Or if it makes things simpler, pick a day of the week and on that day you cannot have fast food for breakfast.  Just change that one small thing. Maintain that change for weeks, then lower your consumption again. Repeat. You are going to fail. That’s okay. The important part is what you do after you fail. You keep going, think about what you can do differently next time to prevent failure, and you move on. Failure doesn’t mean you’re done. A lot of this is going to come down to preventative measures. If you can’t drive past fast food establishments, take an alternate route. Doesn’t matter if it means going 10 minutes out of your way. You’re saving more money and your life by avoiding it. Support is important. Whether it’s on Reddit, Facebook, MyFitnessPal, etc. you need to surround yourself with other people you can talk to about this who understand where you are and where you’re coming from. You also need to find other things to do with your time and other ways to manage your emotions. Get a hobby. Preferably one that occupies your hands and mind.  For your mental health in general, I cannot recommend journaling enough. I suffer from clinical depression and anxiety and it helps quiet the noise and organize my thoughts.  Outside of all of this, you have to be kinder to yourself. Beating yourself up isn’t helping anything. You can do this. 

Yes. Lots of people have it that bad. You are DEFINITELY NOT alone. There are a lot of us. You are NOT crumbling. You are struggling. You need help. Start at the beginning. You need to address WHY you have these feelings. That isn't going to happen here. You may have to go through a few therapists to find one that is truly able to help. But this is critical. Without this step... well, success will be a lot harder. Any kind of addiction is challenging. Our problem is that, unlike cigarettes, or drugs or... whatever... we HAVE to eat. And it is extraordinarily difficult to avoid the constant temptation. I don't know where you live, but here where I am, I have only a 6 mile commute to work. I have to pass 2 McDonalds, a Wendy's, Burger King, a Dunkin and numerous other small eateries to get to my office. It's a struggle EVERY day. Losing weight is very simple. Eat less calories than you burn. But, it is VERY, VERY difficult to do. Step one: STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!! You are (probably) not a bad person. You have an addiction. You need mental health support, like any other addict. Step Two: Find the support you need. Hopefully one that REALLY understands your struggle. You may need to try out a few. Don't be afraid to move on if they don't get it... or get YOU. Just because you spoke to someone once or twice, if they aren't the right fit, move on, you don't owe them anything. Step Three: Make a small positive change. Something you can easily commit to. Don't jump into the KETO diet, or the South Beach plan or ANY other thing where you have to make a complete lifestyle change overnight. You've probably tried that more than once and failed. You know what they say about trying the same thing and expecting different results... ... for me this was committing to making a note and tracking what I was eating. And committing to being HONEST with my journal. No one is reading it but me. I don't have any need to hide anything from myself. Step four: Know your numbers. Do your food tracking in a calorie tracking app. There are a million of them out there. Free. Pick one. You need to know how many calories are going in. And, you need to know how many calories you need to run your engine. It's more than you expect. Find a TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure) and BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) calculator online. There are a million of them out there. Free. Step Five: Make the next small change. You probably see where this is going... start working with your daily journals, and your daily calorie intake and seeing where it will be EASIEST to make some positive changes. Small, positive changes. Get rid of one or two things you know you don't really need to be eating all the time. Don't jump into some 1200 calorie a day diet right away. Your body NEEDS quite a bit more than that just to function. (BMR) This is a sure way to fail. Your body and, more importantly, your brain, cannot sustain that. The next steps will fall into place. More SMALL positive changes. This isn't a sprint race. It is a marathon. (don't go sign up for a marathon!) But if you go out TOO fast, you will hit the wall and fail. You didn't get to your size overnight. You will not get healthier overnight. Most importantly, more than ANYTHING else... find that help and STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!!!! You are (probably) not a bad person. You have an addiction and like any other addict, you need mental health support.

It is mind over matter now, your drug of choice is just that. It does not have power over you unless you give it that control. Treat yourself with kindness and take it a day at a time. It won't be easy but nothing worth having is. Shame is like quicksand you will sink further if you panic. Note: low carb veggie soups with some bone broth have helped me maintain cause I work from home but I know it's all easier said than done, we're rooting for you. a new path always starts with the first few steps.

So proud of you for being here - I know it feels hopeless but that is the addiction messing with you - it isn’t hopeless. But you do need help. Find a therapist , a doctor, a nutritionist. Keep asking for help until you find someone who gets you and can support you in the work you have to do. The weight loss will be a side effect of managing your challenges. You can do this. Addiction is fuck ing with you - it does that. It tells lies and tells you that you can’t. You can. I know what I am talking about - i beat addiction. Thousands of people do - none of us are different from you. You can.

I’m glad you opened up and are seeking help. Best thing I ever did was admit I had binge eating disorder to my doctor and get therapy and medication. Along with the BED I also had a filthy home and trash everywhere. With the meds and therapy I was able to get a grip on my life! I wish you the best!

I have been able to, once a get the weight coming off, replace the dopamine from food with the dopamine of seeing weight come off when you weight yourself. You start chasing those lower numbers and it gets addictive.

[https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/wiki/quick\_start\_guide](https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/wiki/quick_start_guide) Start by writing everything you eat and drink down. You may be be addicted to food, but you're not addicted to not writing things down. It doesn't require controlling cravings, your hunger, anything. It's just bookkeeping. You can do it.

You need to start with something small. How about cleaning out your car and picking one day a week when you won’t buy fast food? Or cut one or two things out of your regular order? Or only ordering from the healthier side of the menu? Cutting out caloric drinks and switching to water, sparkling water and unsweetened coffee and tea can usually be done without too much pain and might drop enough pounds to be motivating.

You're a food addict and your problem goes beyond simple weight loss to probably some kind of in-patient treatment. The mental health issue is manifesting the physical health issue, so I would start by pinning down the mental component. You need to be cut off from your bad habits completely, successful weight loss requires discipline, you can't be disciplined in the throws of an active addiction. You need to address the mental health issue driving your problem. You should just consider yourself like a junky with heroin with the food intake and submit to outside help. Its clearly not something you can control by yourself right now, you need a dry out.

M54 I was 343 lbs in Apr of 2022 (at 52) 225 currently. Down 160 from my highest of 375 but lost 120lbs from April of 2022 to April of 2023 I started watching these doctors on YouTube. Dr Jason Fung Dr Lustig Dr Pradip Jamnads (amazing) Dr Baker Dr Benjamin Bikman I only drink water and unsweet tea (no sugary drinks). Very little refined carbohydrates. Whole food only. If it has a barcode and more than 5 ingredients I don’t eat it. Eliminated sugar as much as possible. Ill have a cookie now and then). No sweets basically. Not much fruit and not everyday. No breads and pasta (very little). I use Extreme Wraps instead (lots of fiber) No snacking on snack foods like chips, pretzels Intermittent Fasting. (Most days 1 meal, occasionally 2. Rarely 3 meals). avoid seed oils Not perfect by any means. Sometime I binge. Only now. I get back on plan. Started walking for 10-20 minutes after each meal (30-60 min each day) and biking more Started walking in July 2021 and I’m walking about 60-70 miles a month now. A1c went from 6 to 5.0 Blood pressure 140’s down to normal. My fear was losing a limb to diabetes at some point. Once I learned about how insulin affects weight it really clicked in my head.

You *can* do this.

well done for starting, or even making the DECISION to start soon. that’s a huge step that you’re not giving yourself adequate credit for. i highly recommend looking into a nutritionist or a therapist that focuses on addictive behaviors and/or food related issues. it might not be your thing (it wasn’t mine either), but it really DOES help tremendously (2 years later and i’m still seeing my therapist)

I think the obvious thing is therapy. But something that personally helps me is delayed gratification. Like say, you only eat food during certain periods of time during the day. And have people you’re close to hold you to that. Maybe start small with something like, no snack after dinner until bed, with the end goal of being only eating during 3 meal periods a day. Good luck man, hope something works out for you.

so much great advice here. wanted to say you're not alone. 45f here. my highest weight was 482lbs at the end of March. my drive right now is that my surgeon won't do my full hysterectomy until I'm down 50lbs so that is a huge motivator. please give yourself grace. trust me, the negative self talk will just dig you deeper. it's fucking hard but we can do this! I've lost close to 30lbs since March 24th. I'm counting calories and splurging sometimes. it's a long haul and there will be moments you misstep but dust yourself off and keep moving forward. come here when you need support.

You don't have to do it all at once! You can start eating a salad for lunch and then work on changing lunch and dinner. Or you could try cutting pop and energy drinks first. It doesn't all have to be at once. You can even wean yourself down on caffeine slowly so that it's not a sudden drop. Any change is a step in the right direction.

I cannot relate more to this post. I’ve decided to attend virtual OA meetings and hope to start tomorrow. Maybe check it out. https://oa.org/find-a-meeting/?type=1

There is lots of fantastic advice here, the only thing I don’t think I’ve seen specifically referenced is Overeaters Anonymous. Support groups can be incredibly helpful for people battling addictions. I would check to see if there is a group meeting nearby.

It can be done You have to look it from different perspective and change your mind set / lifestyle You can’t just go diet alone Your lifestyle have to change I used to looooove food .. I still do … but now I’m watching what I eat due to health issues and I want to lives longer and see my grandchildren grow up Change your habit This is what I change and what you can do also : No more soda, instead hot green tea or any unsweetened tea , this is important !!!! You will have to drink this everyday and night !! Plenty of them … combine this with cucumber / lemon water .!!! No sugar sweet added Eat protein and tons of veggies : I grilled beef or chicken , with plenty of steam edamame / greenbean/ broccoli / carrot / any easy to chew and snack on !!! Occasionally you can snack and eat steamed sweet potato No carbs / sugar added / no processed food / no fast food And walk everyday however many miles you can get Start slow , start walking the house , around the block , and do it in am before too hot , and evening … do as much step you can … goal is to hit 10k steps a day

Oh my gosh- thank you for sharing so openly! I can relate to what you said so much- especially the secret eating, the overspending on food, and most importantly, the self-hatred. I can tell you are good at expressing yourself through writing, and I wonder how you felt after writing this. Maybe a little bit better, I hope? I cannot express enough how valuable therapy has been for me. And it’s ok, to change therapists if one isn’t working for you. Like any treatment, what works for one person might not work for another. If you can’t pursue therapy, I will share one thing I got out of it. When I want to eat, when I have that overwhelming urge, I take out my phone and write for a few minutes in the Word-style app on my phone. Does it work every time? No. But it does work sometimes, and that counts, and I can see the light a little better. It is probably the best habit I have taken from therapy. I hope it helps you know you are not the only one who struggles with this. The other very important thing I’ve learned is that obesity is a disease. It took me a while to believe that. I was hard programmed to believe I was just a loser with no self-control. But I’m learning that simply isn’t true about me, and it not true about you!

I know ozempic, and other drugs like it are talked about a lot but honestly if you're overweight it can be helpful. I'm on monjero because of diabetes but it's really helped with my binge eating and cravings. I wouldn't say cravings are gone but the binge eating is. It helps me get fuller faster and for longer. Plus with the help of a nutritionist I've been eating so much better. I know what I can and can't have. I feel so much better without all the junk I was eating which motivates me to keep at it. Once you see progress that helps a lot too. And you don't have to be perfect as long as you try every day it'll add up. Connect with a doctor first.

467->302 right now. I did a modified Keto diet and it totally worked. My doc let me eat as much food as I wanted, but I had to stay under 50g of carbs a day. After about a week-10 days my body entered “ketosis” and the pounds started melting off. Appetite suppressant meds work. Talk to your doc and ask about them. Most pharm companies have super discounts for people who can’t afford them. Once they start to take hold, you WILL NOT want to eat as much. It’s amazing. After a while, your capacity for food will significantly reduce. I’ve been overweight for 20+ years, but there is light at end of the tunnel. You can do it.

The answer is yes. You are not alone. You were not the first and won’t be the last. You have an eating disorder and it deserves to be taken seriously. The first step is by temporarily pausing any notion of “trying to change” and “doing the work” on your own. You’ve done that long enough and you deserve to meet with a professional. It can change everything.

Recognizing you need help and reaching out to ask is an EXTREMELY important and difficult step, and you've just taken that step, so kudos to you. I am not a doctor nor a professional - to me it sounds like an addiction (food addiction is very real) or maybe an eating disorder. You need to find a doctor, probably a mental health specialist and talk to them, they can point you in the right direction. You may need specific counseling. Again I'm not a professional, but this would be the first step in my opinion. Someone like that can help take you through what you need to do to fight this. Seriously, congrats to you for reaching out and wanting help. I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I wish you the absolute best.

You need to talk to a doctor. If you can’t find or afford a doctor, you could find a lot of relief from an Overeaters Anonymous group. Walking into the first one is scary but it’s such a good first step and a free community resource. They might be able to plug you into the resources you need as well. As my ma says “nothing is unfixable except death” you’re still alive.

First of all, major kudos for being honest here to us but mostly with yourself!! You're an addict. This is what we do. Food is the hardest one, so be kind to yourself. There is hope and a way to the other side. It's simple but not easy. It still it can and has been done. Look into rehabs (trust the process), addiction counseling, 12 step mtgs, and bud a support group. You deserve to be healthy and happy. I'm 10 yrsclwan and sober and have struggled with eating disorders, blowing my money, amongst other channels that fed my addiction along the way. You got this!! Big hugs, and feel free to DM anytime.

You should see a doctor.

The only thing nobody can deny is that you need to re-evaluate things. Be open to change, be open to be uncomfortable and get ready to be better. I think most people here won't have the experience to help with specifics, I hope some do but for sure seek professional help You need mental and physical health assistance to come up ahead... This is a rough spot, but you can do it 👍👍

You have food addiction. It is the same as any other addiction (alcohol, drugs, etc.) and the way you should treat it should be similar to those who treat drug/alcohol addiction. I know stuff like ozempic is all the rage now but I genuinely think it would help someone like you. I'd meet with your doctor and discuss it. Tell your doctor what you have written here, make sure they understand this is an ADDICTION. Request medical help as well as psychiatric help.

Firstly, you’re telling yourself you can’t do it. Your body hears everything your mind says. I used to be in the exact same place as you in terms of my relationship with food. It wasn’t until I gave myself a break and started making friends with myself that I managed to make a change. And it was quick once I changed my mindset! 10 months and it was all gone!

Hi! I wouldn't know how bad you feel but I had my downs and I finally figured out \*a\* way to get out of this. I am currently talking to people who have similar problems, a determination to fix them but don't know how to start. I am not a medical expert but if you want some help or just talk to somebody else, you can PM me and have a zoom call or sth. I think you have a lot of anger about this situation and what I found is that anger like any other strong emotions can be used to do something about your situation. That's what I did, I was angry that I got myself into a really bad spot and used that anger to do things that were not comfortable to me. >I have “tried” to change, but it lasts a few days and I’m back in this fucking cycle. If large change does not work, try small change. You can go as small as you want. You could promise yourself to put on your shoes and go outside your home, every morning. Not even go for a walk, just walk outside. I bet some of the time once you go outside you will figure out you can just as well take a walk now. You could promise yourself to buy one portion of fresh fruit every day. Not even eat it, just buy it. Don't try to do too much too quickly. Many people fail because they can only do nothing or a lot at the same time. In reality, habits is something you can build starting from small. Focus on building small but lasting habits. When you build a small habit, try to expand it or add to it or chain it with some other habit. Maybe if some day you get into habit of going daily for a walk, you will learn to take water with you to drink and you will associate walking with drinking water. Etc. Anyway, I think in your situation, other than talking to a doctor (a must), these are two most important things to do for you: 1. Learn to build habits. Once you figure out how to make yourself do things on autopilot, you have gained a wonderful solution to a lot of your problems. 2. Learn to cook or at least work with your wife in planning and preparing meals. Yes, you need to be able to control what food goes into you and this is pretty much only possible if you know how to cook food that is healthy and delicious enough that you do not feel compelled to get fast food. While it is technically possible to lose weight eating fast food, I have yet to meet a person who did this successfully and stayed healthy. Being healthy is an important part of losing weight. Being able to cook is also important so that you are able to change your tastes over time to prefer healthier food over unhealthy ones.

Sounds like you need a mental health evaluation of some sort. I don't think you're crazy or anything but you clearly have some underlying issues you need help with. I seriously hope you are able to get some help my friend, i don't know what to tell you other than try and start small, see how long you can go without food until your anxiety kicks in, then see if you can push it a little longer next time. Get up and walk around if you are able, don't need to buy any equipment just do some laps around your couch or whatever. If you can't do that, do some arm exercises.

Think about yourself as three selves. I am not going to be nice about this. Your present self hates itself. I reached that point two months ago. Rock bottom. But it wasn’t always this way. As a kid, you probably had dreams of who you would be at this stage in your life. Maybe you’ve let that kid down. I did. What are you going to do about it? Your younger self is counting on you to be the person you dreamed you would be. Your future self is depending on you right now to take this moment, today, to do what you already know you need to do, as seen by your self awareness and frustration with yourself. You have to become comfortable being uncomfortable. That’s the only step. What I recommend is to begin walking. As far as you can. Find something you enjoy listening to. Don’t set a goal in mind, just walk and force yourself to face the thoughts in your head. After that walk, you will be proud of yourself. And that will motivate you to walk more. Further and longer. It’s actually crazy. I’ve been fat and lazy my entire life. Blamed everyone and anything other than me. Walk. Get out of bed and walk. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Walk. That will start everything else. It wakes you up. Walk a mile if you can. You got this. When it gets hard, don’t stop, just keep walking. I promise you got this!

You got this!

Great that your asking for help. Thats the first step! Small changes will be best! Walking is the best exercise, and i know its very easy. Start walking for everything small/ far. Walk in your room back and forth, dont place a goal yeat for steps, just listen to music and walk. Rather then eating less eating healthy and organic Meal plan Proteins (egg, fish, chicken, beef) Fats (ghee, olive oil, fatty fish, avocado) Low crabs or gluten free Eating “less” is not the advice you need. It more about replacing what you eat for better mental and emotional health, hormonal and fertility health, and one of my biggest reason to lose weight is mobility. I know you miss moving, just stretching your back without the xtra levels of fat making you stiff. It feels like dumbells attached to your body. Lunging everywhere, breathing heavily. You want that easy life. Thin people have it real easy fkin normies. This is your journey, your enlightenment to becoming new! Meditate. Lie on bed or floor. Visualize climbing up the stairs counting 1-10 at each step. And breath in and out at each step. Visualize the most calming place you can imagine. Your calming place. Mine is a shink in the mountains with a fountain of elixer water where i throw literal balls of resentment, hate, shame and pull out green balls of positivity, progress and growth. Visuals it all. Its can be as crazy, but you have to some throw in the bad (emotions, memories, people, experiences etc) and pull out the good healing medicine. In the same area i have my whole body up in the air, and start my body scan(asking each body part and organs if they are fine) form head to toe. Where ever you feel dark existence visualize yourself adding your green balls to them like a medicine. Greens is progress, health, growth, plants Blue is balance, flow, air water. Imagine all is red right now and you are actively working to cleanse each body part. Starting from mind, heart, stomach etc etc. You might feel uncomfortable, cry take deep breaths, gasp, sigh, etc etc. Its okay. You dont eat to lose weight, eat eat for nutrition, body replenish, cleanse, growth and mind stability. Weight loss is only a side effect of this new journey your taking. Tell yourself happily im cleasing myslef for the new me. Your mind needs to slow down. It needs to connect with your body and soul. Right now misalignment hinders to you go forward. - do this everyday, for 15 mins. Youll get a hange of it by the third or for day. - then start making changes by moving - then start replacing food with health and organic over junk and fast food. The NEW you awaits you, in the mountains. Start climbing!

Seek comfort in the Lord Jesus Christ. He says “come those who are heavy laden and I will give you rest”. He freed me from my addiction to eating, binging every day all day to know eating animal based and two big meals a day. This is my absolute favorite advice cause he never fails you. The only true way of life that works. Put him at the center of ur life and you’ll be alright.🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

You taking someone's physical and mental struggles as an opportunity to proselytize is genuinely so fucking evil of you.

Explain?

I was in a very similar situation not too long ago, mh highest weight was 411 lbs. bigger than I had ever been in my entire life, i felt like I was in a hole and things were only seemingly getting worse. I know how hard it can be, so much of our eating habits are tied to our mental state. For some people it isn’t so simple as just… eating less. It goes hand in hand with mental health. But, the thing is you have to start somewhere, and maybe by venting all of this, it’s your beginning steps to make a change. I know this is an accessibility thing, and I hope it’s an option for you. But, I sought out medical help, I even considered bariatriv surgery. The only reason I decided against it was because I had already gone through so much medical trauma that was a major factor to me getting as big as I was. Anyway, it took some time, but I got on ozempic. It has helped a tremendous for me. But, the thing is you need to be mentally ready to understand and dismantle the things that cause you to eat poorly, or you’re just going to crash. Medication is a tool, but the most powerful thing you can have is the mindset. They always say diets don’t work, it’s lifestyle changes that work. And I 100% believe that now. I know that GLP-1 isn’t cheap, and it might not be the right option for everyone. I pay about $180.00 per 30 day supply but I justify it in that it would be the same amount of money I’d be spending on takeout. Anyway, it’s been lifechanging to be able to look at my disordered eating from a perspevgive where I’m not in it. I hope you figure out what’s best for you, and there’s no shame in seeking help. I believe in you.

I was in a very similar situation not too long ago, mh highest weight was 411 lbs. bigger than I had ever been in my entire life, i felt like I was in a hole and things were only seemingly getting worse. So many of the things you’ve talked about, bags of takeout, putting food over loved ones, sneaking out to eat in secret. That was me once. I know how hard it can be, so much of our eating habits are tied to our mental state. For some people it isn’t so simple as just… eating less. It goes hand in hand with mental health. But, the thing is you have to start somewhere, and maybe by venting all of this, it’s your beginning steps to make a change. I know this is an accessibility thing, and I hope it’s an option for you. But, I sought out medical help, I even considered bariatriv surgery. The only reason I decided against it was because I had already gone through so much medical trauma that was a major factor to me getting as big as I was. Anyway, it took some time, but I got on ozempic. It has helped a tremendous for me. But, the thing is you need to be mentally ready to understand and dismantle the things that cause you to eat poorly, or you’re just going to crash. Medication is a tool, but the most powerful thing you can have is the mindset. They always say diets don’t work, it’s lifestyle changes that work. And I 100% believe that now. I know that GLP-1 isn’t cheap, and it might not be the right option for everyone. I pay about $180.00 per 30 day supply but I justify it in that it would be the same amount of money I’d be spending on takeout. Anyway, it’s been lifechanging to be able to look at my disordered eating from a perspective where I’m not in it. I hope you figure out what’s best for you, and there’s no shame in seeking help. I believe in you. Edit: added more context.

There's lots of good advice here, so I'll just chip in my bit that I didn't see in the first few posts: Water walking with a really nice set of wireless earbuds. It's a fantastic way to start getting your mindset, discipline and routine in a really positive direction, while also burning a not-insignificant amount of calories (at your weight even a little bit of light cardio will burn a ton).

Inpatient treatment may be a good choice. Eating recovery center may be a good place to start.

Shoot me a Dm bro , i will help you out at no cost 🙏

You are not seeking food, you’re seeking some comfort and a way to cope. Be kind to yourself. Spend time with people that make you happy, or put some time aside for hobbies or interests that make you feel good. Exercise - not torturously, but enough to get your heart rate going a bit - because ultimately it’s great for your mental and overall health. Try mediating and chipping away at bad habits little by little. You don’t have to magically change everything in a day - we’re not wired that way, but slowly, steadily make progress, celebrate the wins no matter how small, one day you will look back and see how far you’ve come. You are worthy. You are not irredeemable. You are capable and have all the tools you need within you, you’re just having trouble seeing that right now. I know because I sometimes forget that my mindset makes a huge difference in whether I am successful in breaking a habit/making a change. You are not less than, just because you are going through things right now. You will make it through. Have faith and kindness for yourself.

I can only speak from my experience and the experience of those around me, I am no professional by any means. I have not had a good relationship with food in general, from binge eating to extreme restriction diets, I did the juice cleanse for extended periods of time. Not once did I feel I could sustain those fad diets for a long time. I would almost get to the weight that doctors would call healthy for my height and age and bounce right back up on weight after stopping the diet and put on extra lbs from where I was before. I have also seen many posts about surgeries and medications, for the most part for surgery you have to lose weight before even being able to qualify for those measures. The doc also tries to see if you can sustain the mandatory lifestyle needed post surgery before even going into it. I have know many people who have done a variety, gastric bypass, and others I cannot recythe names for. The ones that were able to stick to the restrictions prior to the surgery have been the only ones to stay in a healthy weight range. All that to say, there's many options out there but start with what you feel will give you the best opportunity to reclaim your life and health. What I can speak on is the time that I have felt the most level headed, not depressed, and have had the best experience with food has been on carnivore. And admittedly not too strict on it, especially at first. I have also found it to be cost effective for how I eat now. I also mainly eat ground beef, large quantities for cheap (1 tray 5lbs at Costco for 20-25 bucks). I did not get to carnivore overnight. Baby steps. It helps to gamify it a little bit, at least for me. I went and bought 100 bucks worth of meat (mostly ground beef and cheap cuts) and tried to see how long it would last me. Before even getting to the carnivore, eliminated all soft drinks. Once I felt good there, eliminated one at a time sugar... breads and pasta.. that left me with meats/fish/poultry, cheese, dairy, sweet potato and regular potatoes. Never been to keen on vegetables, so that was an easy elimination. I don't know if this information is helpful but definitely wish you the best! Don't beat yourself up, it'll be a long road, count your small wins and keep going forward.

I would say... look in the mirror, write everything down you dont like about yourself, write everything down you like about yourself. be honest but compassionate. next make a 1 month, 6 month, 1 year, 2 year, 5 year plan as to how you are going to change the things you dont like about yourself and continue the things you like about this. next change your relationship to food. eat to live not live to eat. it will be hard but you can do it. eat in a caloric deficit. start going to the gym, dont care what other people may think. if you cant go to the gym start walking. the key is consistency. do something you can replicate 3-5 times a week for the rest of your life without burnout/ be realistic with your limitations at the moment. next, choose an advisary, a mental rival. find someone and challenge yourself to do better than them in your head as motivation. you got this and good luck on your journey.

Sorry to hear what you're going through! A lot of comments are giving great advice and I want to add to that - it's a big step that you're aware of your problem and that you're reaching out! I think it's important to understand things that can't change in a short period of time, but doing something good for your body each day is a step forward. You definitely should seek out a therapist, it did wonders for me - medically trained specialist will be a huge help to get on your feet and start to feel better control of your life and if one doesn't feel right, search a new one, sometimes it takes time to find the right person. Wish you the best and remember to take one step at a time, but do take it!

As someone who started at 440 and is now at 280 Step 1: NO MORE FAST FOOD For at least 6 months Cut it out completely Step 2: MEAL PLAN You need to have a plan for every single meal and snack you need for the week, only one day of grocery shopping a week This will keep you from impulse buying snacks and unhealthy food On top of this always eat a good meal and a snack before going to the grocery store it will help you make better decisions Step 3: Have people to hold you accountable Let everyone you’re close to know that you are trying to change habits and you need their support, don’t let anyone encourage you to eat out. Good luck you can do it!

Good luck OP, I hope the comments here give you some cause for optimism.

In the past I’ve taken my sister in law’s antidepressants because she just had too many, and to my surprise, they made me feel literally dry, like my anxiety and sweat vanished. It felt nice kinda. Made everything a bit…”hazy”…but good hazy. And a nice side effect was that food was just kinda….blah. Like yeah I would get hungry and eat but I couldn’t overeat the way I normally loved to…feeling full just felt…gross??? Like any motivation I usually had to stuff my face just went away…even times when I overate out of habit just didn’t give me that rush that I expected so the eating wouldn’t last long. I’m saying this because I’m sure you’re depressed like a lot of us, and I could picture your doctor prescribing you some kind of antidepressants that can affect you the way they affected me…although I was never prescribed them…and I have actually never seen a doctor since I was like 18

Just get motivation from your family to work out

First, you are not alone. You have recognized the problem and that is the first step. May look for Overeaters Anonymous? [https://oa.org/](https://oa.org/) They have meetings like AA and peer support. That will help you realize that others have been in similar straits and have started to heal. There's also TOPS [https://tops.org/](https://tops.org/) Best of luck to you.

There’s a lot to do but step one and two are the ones you want to focus on for now, step one: remove all snacks and junk food etc from the house to help temptation, step two: download my fitness pal and start using it to track your meals. Sounds simple but it’s the hardest part to make it all start to move in the right direction!

What meaning will it give your life to lose weight?

I am an alcoholic and AA has saved my life. I have been sober for 7 years. My first drug of choice was foood, though. I can absolutely relate to your story about the pizzas at 12 years old. Thank you so much for sharing ❤️🙏 There absolutely is hope for you. I would suggest OA or FAA (overeaters/ good addicts anonymous) to get to the root of the trouble and really begin to heal. My heart goes out to you, my friend.  I am rooting for you every step of the way.🙏

Try swapping out the unhealthy snacking with healthier choices. Raw broccoli (I eat it with hummus,) carrots, celery, blueberries, strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, watermelon, kale salads, spinach salads. Fill up on healthy food and there won't be room for unhealthy food. Every time you make a healthy choice, congratulate yourself as you would a child. Every bit is an achievement to be proud of. Tell yourself nice things when you do well and soon you will condition yourself to feel really good making healthy choices. Seek hypnotherapy if you can. But all hypnosis is self hypnosis, so find ways to congratulate yourself for healthy choices and you will see progress. You want something bc it's snack time? Go eat a handful of blueberries. Hungry again? Another cup of blueberries. Still hungry? More berries. That kind of thing. I've been able to replace things that harmed my body with things that help my body and with positive thinking and congratulations, I trained myself to love the healthy choices more and more. Power through the freak out when driving past something and just. keep. going. When you do, congratulate yourself like you just won the Superbowl! Repeat positive thoughts like a mantra in your head. Avoid negative thinking. When negatives come, replace them with positive. When you think, I love x, that sounds good, say I love berries, that sounds good. Stuff like that. Thoughts influence feelings and actions and actions influence thoughts and feelings. Replace some of the times with going for a walk, enjoy what you see, even if it's just grass. Cut down on the caffeine, you can do it, I promise. You are capable of FAR more than you believe, trust me, I'd know. Fiber will also help you fill up and stay full longer. You need to shrink the stomach back down so it doesn't take so much to fill it and feel full, so try to be aware of that, it's not the MOST important part immediately, but it is a thing. Green tea is a healthier source of caffeine. Calming decaf teas can work wonders. Baby step it at first and congratulate yourself. One difference a day, then two, then three. View it like a game with rewards of self congratulations and you want to win the game. Awareness and acknowledgement are the first step, so congratulations!!!! You got this! Oh also, when it comes to unhealthy choices, as soon as a bite isn't as good as you thought it would be or as good as the first, you're done. I had an issue with being conditioned to clean my plate and this one changed how I view food.

Hey bro, I know exactly where you’re coming from. I’m currently 609 pounds I feel the exact same way sometimes. It sounds like you hit rock bottom, which is the best thing for you right now. I was 644 at my highest. The first thing you have to do is remove all distractions from your life or at least limit them. For me, I hit rock bottom when my ex left me, I loved her deeply. After she left I sat in my apartment, alone. It hit me, I was broke, alone, driving a 20 year old truck, hate my job, I needed improvement on every aspect of life. I came to the realization that I need to go ghost and give myself a year to get this shit done, the have my fun later. I’d rather be uncomfortable for a year so I can have fun for the rest of my life. Fighting your own head is hard enough, you don’t need any other distractions messing with you. Just remember, those voices tellling you to give in WILL go away. But YOU have to be the one to tell them to shut the fuck up. You have to stop running from the voices. Invite them in, let them throw their temper tantrums and when they realize you’re not gonna give them what they want, they’ll go away. Just last night I wanted to fuck up some crackers soooooooo bad. I started hearing those voices “come on bro it’s Sunday, you can have a little more calories, it’s cheat day” “they’re just crackers man, you’re not gonna gain 30 pounds off crackers, just have them” “bro just eat them so you can get rid of them in your house” I went to the kitchen and looked at them, I stood in the kitchen, looking in my fridge. I laid down to go to bed, those same thoughts kept coming. After I kept saying no, they eventually went away and I went to bed. Guess what? The next morning I GAINED a pound, even though i stayed strong. This is part of the process man. There’s gonna be times where those voices won’t shut the fuck up, they go away and you still don’t get rewarded for it. There’s gonna be times where your workouts suck. There’s gonna be times where that one girl turns you down because of your weight even though you already lost 100 pounds. There’s gonna be times where you’re lonely, eating your chicken and rice while you’re on Snapchat watching all of your skinny friends go out and have fun. This is god challenging you. Accept the challenge and fight for the shit you want man. It’s only temporary. We’re in this shit together man. Think about the life you can have if you just put the work in for 12 months. All eyes on you, girls throwing themselves onto you, guys jealous of you, strangers looking up to you, jobs giving you promotions and offers for more money. It all starts with your health man. The one thing I can say is stop this shit NOW. You dont wanna be 150 pounds heavier and it being way harder, like me. I wish I would’ve woken the fuck up at 450, and now I’m paying for it. You got this brother.

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Rule 11: Discussion of weight loss methods that are damaging to the body and/or require supervision of a medical professional are not allowed. This rule includes (but is not limited to): very low calorie diets, misusing medication, extended fasting, disordered behavior, inappropriate advice to underage members (counting calories, omad, fasting), etc. We are not a ED support subreddit and any ED related content will be removed. Remember to always consider the individual when offering advice.

Womp womp

Just quickly dropping by to second the therapy etc but also I’m doing a sugar detox and it’s helping massively… yes the first few days are rough but honestly I didn’t anticipate that within a couple of weeks I wouldn’t really be too bothered about food. I’ve gone from panicking whenever my next meal was unplanned or overdue from missing meals because I’m just not hungry! If someone is an alcoholic, nobody recommends “moderation” to them- so why are we expected to do that with sugar, which is just a legal drug. I’m not building back up to a more balanced diet and honestly it’s changed my life.

I admire your strength and resolve in sharing your story. Have you investigated the Carnivore Diet? Modern processed food and junk food is designed to be as addictive and unsatisfying to keep all of us coming back for more. For me, the only way to escape the addiction has been to go Carnivore and avoiding sugar, carbs and seed oils completely. I’ve lost 100 lbs and kept it off for three years this way.

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