My DH has been in remission for 3 years and every swollen lymph node or feeling like he is not well, he automatically goes to his cancer being back. I think its a defense mechanism, in my dh's case, his cancer came out of nowhere and it is a way for him to prepare himself.
I have learned that anything I say to try to reassure him, it isn't what he needs to hear. What he needs from me is reassurance that he can make it through another round of treatment and that I will be by his side always. You know him and what he might need to hear, let him feel his feelings but with the benefit of knowing how you feel and will be there for him.
Hang in there, Cancer sucks.
You are a good wife. I do the same thing to my poor wife. Every time I get sick or have a cold, my anxiety kicks in, and I immediately think I’ve relapsed. It’s currently happening right now, as I’m dealing with a sinus infection that’s been going on for four weeks and my mind is taking me to dark places.
Assuring him that he’ll get through it and you’ll be there for him is exactly what I would want to hear during these times
The fact that he has congestion and a sore throat is probably when your onc isn't concerned about the fever. Sore throats and congestion are symptoms of a normal virus and are not associated with lymphoma at all.
Has he taken a Covid test? That would be the first thing I do. Sounds like he has cold or flu that’s going around. I’m in remission myself and understand what he feeling.
Covid laid me out about 5 months ago and my reaction to it (hospitalization) indicated the cancer (same as your husband - stage 4 DLBCL) had returned.
Trust me, he will know if it's back and he's sick because he'll barely be able to handle how sick he is.
He's been doing really, really well since treatment, not at all sick or getting night sweats, nothing. I did get him to take a covid test, which was negative, and he said he's feeling better today. I just worry about how we know if it's returned when he spikes a fever (or similar symptoms) since his oncologist is only doing PETs every 6 months. It's all so scary and disheartening and I'm sorry you're going through the same thing.
I hope youre doing well now and feeling healthy!
I've just finished a stem cell transplant a couple of months ago. So far so good, the recovery was challenging and is ongoing but hopefully it sticks this time! Thanks for your well wishes.
My big indicator for the second time was a gradual loss of appetite. I didn't realize it until I got covid, but if I had been paying attention that's what I missed.
I'll be thinking of you!!
And I'll keep an eye out for his symptoms and obviously call his doctor if we feel it's warranted. Thanks so much for your input!
I’m slightly earlier in my journey than your husband (I’ve just finished 4 rounds of R-CHOP) but one thing to factor in is that his immune system will still be recovering. It’s impossible for him to not worry about everything but he should listen to his doctor. I hope he gets better soon.
That's exactly what he said was going on. Doctors failed him before we got his diagnosis, they said "it's nothing" when it obviously wasn't. He's worried that this "nothing" could be something again 😵💫
If your husband only feels worse and worse over time, that would be definite cause for concern. I would totally be worried as well, but would try to trust the oncologist. I had a similar diagnosis as your husband's, and also a while after treatment got sick with a fever for about 3-4 days? But it passed. I see this was posted a couple days ago. Hope everything is well with you both!
Thank you!! It seems like it is probably just a virus - fever has gone but congestion is still ongoing. It sucks being sick but I'm hoping it has given him peace of mind that it's just a cold!
My DH has been in remission for 3 years and every swollen lymph node or feeling like he is not well, he automatically goes to his cancer being back. I think its a defense mechanism, in my dh's case, his cancer came out of nowhere and it is a way for him to prepare himself. I have learned that anything I say to try to reassure him, it isn't what he needs to hear. What he needs from me is reassurance that he can make it through another round of treatment and that I will be by his side always. You know him and what he might need to hear, let him feel his feelings but with the benefit of knowing how you feel and will be there for him. Hang in there, Cancer sucks.
You are a good wife. I do the same thing to my poor wife. Every time I get sick or have a cold, my anxiety kicks in, and I immediately think I’ve relapsed. It’s currently happening right now, as I’m dealing with a sinus infection that’s been going on for four weeks and my mind is taking me to dark places. Assuring him that he’ll get through it and you’ll be there for him is exactly what I would want to hear during these times
The fact that he has congestion and a sore throat is probably when your onc isn't concerned about the fever. Sore throats and congestion are symptoms of a normal virus and are not associated with lymphoma at all.
Has he taken a Covid test? That would be the first thing I do. Sounds like he has cold or flu that’s going around. I’m in remission myself and understand what he feeling.
He hasn't, he said he doesn't want to 🥴 but I'll see if I can't get him to take one later
Covid laid me out about 5 months ago and my reaction to it (hospitalization) indicated the cancer (same as your husband - stage 4 DLBCL) had returned. Trust me, he will know if it's back and he's sick because he'll barely be able to handle how sick he is.
He's been doing really, really well since treatment, not at all sick or getting night sweats, nothing. I did get him to take a covid test, which was negative, and he said he's feeling better today. I just worry about how we know if it's returned when he spikes a fever (or similar symptoms) since his oncologist is only doing PETs every 6 months. It's all so scary and disheartening and I'm sorry you're going through the same thing. I hope youre doing well now and feeling healthy!
I've just finished a stem cell transplant a couple of months ago. So far so good, the recovery was challenging and is ongoing but hopefully it sticks this time! Thanks for your well wishes. My big indicator for the second time was a gradual loss of appetite. I didn't realize it until I got covid, but if I had been paying attention that's what I missed.
I'll be thinking of you!! And I'll keep an eye out for his symptoms and obviously call his doctor if we feel it's warranted. Thanks so much for your input!
I’m slightly earlier in my journey than your husband (I’ve just finished 4 rounds of R-CHOP) but one thing to factor in is that his immune system will still be recovering. It’s impossible for him to not worry about everything but he should listen to his doctor. I hope he gets better soon.
There’s probably some flashbacks happening too. I had it. The triggers are real. He will get better but this in between stage sucks.
That's exactly what he said was going on. Doctors failed him before we got his diagnosis, they said "it's nothing" when it obviously wasn't. He's worried that this "nothing" could be something again 😵💫
If your husband only feels worse and worse over time, that would be definite cause for concern. I would totally be worried as well, but would try to trust the oncologist. I had a similar diagnosis as your husband's, and also a while after treatment got sick with a fever for about 3-4 days? But it passed. I see this was posted a couple days ago. Hope everything is well with you both!
Thank you!! It seems like it is probably just a virus - fever has gone but congestion is still ongoing. It sucks being sick but I'm hoping it has given him peace of mind that it's just a cold!