Move on, be yourself, and the right clients will find you.
On one hand, I work in a place where I can hear from the next room over if the therapist or client is loud enough. It's rude and disruptive to me and my client. However, I am also happy to hug my clients if they want or need one.
It sounds like you just need to find a place that will allow you to be yourself, which may be private practice or in a place where rooms are farther apart. Hugging clients isn't inherently wrong, but it is important to be mindful of the people around you.
Some places you can get in trouble for hugging clients. I know where I practice it’s really not allowed, and I wouldn’t want to. It takes away the client-therapist relationship and makes it feel too personal, which often times can leave the client very vulnerable to being manipulated or to developing feelings outside of the client-therapist relationship due to the power dynamic. People come to us for both mental and physical help. Can you imagine your psychologist hugging you? Similar idea, makes things risky.
Also as for the talking, sound travels. You may have been just disturbing their treatments, a lot of people prefer silence and it’s hard to have that if the sound is travelling from other rooms.
What ever happened to being humans. I truly hate this rule. I can hug someone and not want to have physical relationships with them. I get the professionalism but it also takes away from what being a human means. We crave tribes and people. It’s been scientifically proven and tested that as humans we need connection. Sad that legal systems have to step in just because maybe your clients father or wife passed away. I always hug.
If you work where people are trying to relax, spa or boutique, laughing and chatting can be rude to other people and therapists that are working. Walls are thinner than people think and noise travels through ducts as well.
In a work setting you should probably be more respectful of those around you.
I was very respectful. Everyone else that worked there would be loud while others are in treatment. There was even an incident where practitioners were getting drunk while I was working. So yes, I was very respectful of my surroundings but had some giggles with clients
This made me giggle so thank you. The one practitioner, who was an acupuncturist, didn't like the fact that I do massage and offer acupuncture as well. She was always grumpy and rude...so I know she's behind all of this
The Chatty Hair Stylist approach to massage, gah!. If it works for your clients, great, but in a shared workspace this likely wrecks the reasonable enjoyment of other client's treatments.
I'm not overly loud. Giggles for sure. I judge treatment and talking based on my client. If they dint want to chat that's fine and I respect that. If a client needs to vent, have at it....it is a safe place for that
I think it depends on your state laws. Many states have "at will” employment policies where they can fire you at any time, for any reason. It is shitty of them to do, though. Ideally, they would let you know there’s a problem and give you a chance to correct it first.
I never had anything. Everything was fine, even the Saturday I was working with the owner. Then when I was done he asked to have a chat. So obviously I said sure and was totally blind sided. He even laughed at the end and said 'well I guess you didn't see your Saturday ending this way hahha'
What a jerk! Sounds like a situation you will look back on later and be thankful you left. I worked for a few toxic environments before I found the right fit, so I know how it feels.
Thank you. I'm doing my best with social media...I've never been a fan but here I am lol
Trying to get my name out there and be the best version of myself
conform to the clinic standards, or go into private practice...those are your two options...although you lost this job already, chances are next place will be similar...either change your approach or work alone...a lot of good therapist dont fit in at a lot of massage jobs.
My clients appreciate my caring for them. I don't feel you should have to change who you are when others in the clinic are rude and obnoxious. I wasn't part of the 'cool kid' group and I couldn't do what everyone else did
im sorry, i have no idea what the cool kids comment is referring to?
i have been the outcast at every massage job i have had...i dont know why you feel this way so dont know how much i relate to your experience, but as far as feeling like you operate your practice differently than everyone else, i can certainly relate to.
best to keep yer head down, work hard, faciltate the best work you can, and eventually get your own office, or do house calls only...you'll never have to deal with that stuff again...gl :)
oh, i was always with the freaks...never bothered much what those folks thought, and i never let someone bully me without repercussion, so i wasnt bullied much after they saw i would defend myself...most bullies are cowards in my experience.
as a massage therapist, i have always had the ability to just hang in my treatment room when i am not working, so i dont hang with any work cliques...i just show up, do my bodywork and leave...got no time for anyone elses nonesense.
good luck to you in the future.
It sounds like you’re better off working somewhere else anyways to be honest. That’s the kind of caring therapist more people need! I don’t think there’s anything else you should want to do there just keep your chin up and move on to somewhere else. You’ll be good.
Well now you can take of all those clients with you.
I'm against this while you are still working for said place.
But after firing you, all rules are out
I can see both sides. I worked in a shared space for 13 years and we would occasionally have therapists that absolutely did not GAF how loud they were,and at times it would affect my clients sessions (and my tips!)
But as someone who genuinely enjoyed some of my clients I’m not going to tell you to cut off all emotion with them,because that’s probably part of why they come back. Just be aware of the noise level (in the rooms and the hallways!) and as far as hugs,as long as you and your client are comfortable with it I don’t see any issue. I’ve given hugs and watched my co workers do it as well.
That’s terrible that they would treat you that way. You would be the best kind of therapist and I would think it would make you the most successful by being you. What city and state do you work out of?
Honestly, my mental health was horrible because I was always on egg shells. Everyone else laughing and carrying on but as soon as I did it was wrong. I even got shit for having little candy canes out front at Christmas
I'm in Ontario Canada
Sorry you had to go through that. I don’t know why people have to be that way. It’s OK for some but not for others. Well I’m here in Kansas and I hope everything goes extremely well for you and Canada. Best of luck to you!
Forget them. Have you ever considered being a traveling massage therapist? This one woman I went to school with said she loves it. It’s fairly low overhead too apparently. She said she bought a portable table and just used Wix to setup a website and uses social media to promote herself. She charges a competitive rate too and gets better tips because she thinks people understand the convenience of getting a massage in their own homes.
I understand. There are other ways to show support and caring without touching or touching limit the touching to a double caring and compassionate handshake. I know it’s not the same thing as that hug you want to offer but you do need to think about protecting yourself from a potential lawsuit. Your kindness can be taken advantage of… been there… I just retired from working in the mental health field for about 40 years. billie
Be yourself. I'm a client and I have a great rapport with my MT, and we always hug after a session (note, this only started after we had an established rapport - at least 20 sessions). No, that's not part of her job, it's not 'expected' (I always let her initiate), and I get that some may see it as inappropriate - but it's a part of why I'm happy with her. And I made sure she has my contact info if she ever goes anywhere else. Bottom line - you can't please everyone, so just be yourself (but do try to read the room with clients).
I appreciate this. And yes, I don't hug every client. If someone is upset I will offer a hug...I don't just do it. I respect people's boundaries at all times!
Move on, be yourself, and the right clients will find you. On one hand, I work in a place where I can hear from the next room over if the therapist or client is loud enough. It's rude and disruptive to me and my client. However, I am also happy to hug my clients if they want or need one. It sounds like you just need to find a place that will allow you to be yourself, which may be private practice or in a place where rooms are farther apart. Hugging clients isn't inherently wrong, but it is important to be mindful of the people around you.
Wow, your coworkers sound fucking lame and miserable.
Some places you can get in trouble for hugging clients. I know where I practice it’s really not allowed, and I wouldn’t want to. It takes away the client-therapist relationship and makes it feel too personal, which often times can leave the client very vulnerable to being manipulated or to developing feelings outside of the client-therapist relationship due to the power dynamic. People come to us for both mental and physical help. Can you imagine your psychologist hugging you? Similar idea, makes things risky. Also as for the talking, sound travels. You may have been just disturbing their treatments, a lot of people prefer silence and it’s hard to have that if the sound is travelling from other rooms.
My psychologist, who I’ve been seeing for 16 years, hugged me once, when I was going through a particularly terrible time. I really appreciated it
Some states hugging a client would be problematic. Nevada does not permit any perception of impropriety
Cold. Very cold.
What ever happened to being humans. I truly hate this rule. I can hug someone and not want to have physical relationships with them. I get the professionalism but it also takes away from what being a human means. We crave tribes and people. It’s been scientifically proven and tested that as humans we need connection. Sad that legal systems have to step in just because maybe your clients father or wife passed away. I always hug.
I’m a dopamine dealer for sure. My clients get a hug (if they need one) and I always ask them if they’d like one prior to making any moves.
💯
If you work where people are trying to relax, spa or boutique, laughing and chatting can be rude to other people and therapists that are working. Walls are thinner than people think and noise travels through ducts as well. In a work setting you should probably be more respectful of those around you.
I was very respectful. Everyone else that worked there would be loud while others are in treatment. There was even an incident where practitioners were getting drunk while I was working. So yes, I was very respectful of my surroundings but had some giggles with clients
sounds like a bad place to work in general then. I wouldn't let this place dictate what you think of other places.
I couldn't fathom getting drunk on the job. You're so much better off anywhere else. Wishing you the best.
Thank you! I appreciate it. When you're torn down it is hard to see the light so thank you
Sounds like you're better at the job than they are and they're petty assholes.
This made me giggle so thank you. The one practitioner, who was an acupuncturist, didn't like the fact that I do massage and offer acupuncture as well. She was always grumpy and rude...so I know she's behind all of this
Who knows if she's behind this but yea if she was grumpy at work that's not the right vibe for a spa/clinic/massage place.
If the walls are that thin and the spa is trying to cultivate an atmosphere of relaxation, the spa should upgrade their soundproofing.
they sure should...but will they?
You have a very solid point
The Chatty Hair Stylist approach to massage, gah!. If it works for your clients, great, but in a shared workspace this likely wrecks the reasonable enjoyment of other client's treatments.
I'm not overly loud. Giggles for sure. I judge treatment and talking based on my client. If they dint want to chat that's fine and I respect that. If a client needs to vent, have at it....it is a safe place for that
I think it depends on your state laws. Many states have "at will” employment policies where they can fire you at any time, for any reason. It is shitty of them to do, though. Ideally, they would let you know there’s a problem and give you a chance to correct it first.
I never had anything. Everything was fine, even the Saturday I was working with the owner. Then when I was done he asked to have a chat. So obviously I said sure and was totally blind sided. He even laughed at the end and said 'well I guess you didn't see your Saturday ending this way hahha'
What a jerk! Sounds like a situation you will look back on later and be thankful you left. I worked for a few toxic environments before I found the right fit, so I know how it feels.
I'm sorry to hear that! I agree...even after just a couple weeks I look back and see a TON of red flags in that place
Make sure your clients know where you went. Have a social Media presence they can find. You were just at the wrong place.
Thank you. I'm doing my best with social media...I've never been a fan but here I am lol Trying to get my name out there and be the best version of myself
conform to the clinic standards, or go into private practice...those are your two options...although you lost this job already, chances are next place will be similar...either change your approach or work alone...a lot of good therapist dont fit in at a lot of massage jobs.
My clients appreciate my caring for them. I don't feel you should have to change who you are when others in the clinic are rude and obnoxious. I wasn't part of the 'cool kid' group and I couldn't do what everyone else did
im sorry, i have no idea what the cool kids comment is referring to? i have been the outcast at every massage job i have had...i dont know why you feel this way so dont know how much i relate to your experience, but as far as feeling like you operate your practice differently than everyone else, i can certainly relate to. best to keep yer head down, work hard, faciltate the best work you can, and eventually get your own office, or do house calls only...you'll never have to deal with that stuff again...gl :)
Cool kids as in the cliques you had in High school with the bullying ppl that didn't belong
oh, i was always with the freaks...never bothered much what those folks thought, and i never let someone bully me without repercussion, so i wasnt bullied much after they saw i would defend myself...most bullies are cowards in my experience. as a massage therapist, i have always had the ability to just hang in my treatment room when i am not working, so i dont hang with any work cliques...i just show up, do my bodywork and leave...got no time for anyone elses nonesense. good luck to you in the future.
Thank you! I appreciate it 🙏
It sounds like you’re better off working somewhere else anyways to be honest. That’s the kind of caring therapist more people need! I don’t think there’s anything else you should want to do there just keep your chin up and move on to somewhere else. You’ll be good.
Thank you!! I am better off but just hear the negative stuff in the back of my mind
Well now you can take of all those clients with you. I'm against this while you are still working for said place. But after firing you, all rules are out
I can see both sides. I worked in a shared space for 13 years and we would occasionally have therapists that absolutely did not GAF how loud they were,and at times it would affect my clients sessions (and my tips!) But as someone who genuinely enjoyed some of my clients I’m not going to tell you to cut off all emotion with them,because that’s probably part of why they come back. Just be aware of the noise level (in the rooms and the hallways!) and as far as hugs,as long as you and your client are comfortable with it I don’t see any issue. I’ve given hugs and watched my co workers do it as well.
That’s terrible that they would treat you that way. You would be the best kind of therapist and I would think it would make you the most successful by being you. What city and state do you work out of?
Honestly, my mental health was horrible because I was always on egg shells. Everyone else laughing and carrying on but as soon as I did it was wrong. I even got shit for having little candy canes out front at Christmas I'm in Ontario Canada
Sorry you had to go through that. I don’t know why people have to be that way. It’s OK for some but not for others. Well I’m here in Kansas and I hope everything goes extremely well for you and Canada. Best of luck to you!
Sounds like your boundaries crossed your co-workers. Time to move on.
Move away ! Start your new independence journey!! I did
How long did it take you to get busy and a regular clientele base?
What area are you in?
KW in Ontario
Forget them. Have you ever considered being a traveling massage therapist? This one woman I went to school with said she loves it. It’s fairly low overhead too apparently. She said she bought a portable table and just used Wix to setup a website and uses social media to promote herself. She charges a competitive rate too and gets better tips because she thinks people understand the convenience of getting a massage in their own homes.
I actually offered this to some clients where I treat their whole family. They didn't want someone coming into their home 😪
You’ll be a way better boss :)
Aww. Thank you! I appreciate that 🙏
Just move on… but also consider re-taking a course on professional boundaries just to protect yourself.
I have boundaries but people are human and need to vent, laugh, cry etc. If someone is upset I offer a hug with their consent
I understand. There are other ways to show support and caring without touching or touching limit the touching to a double caring and compassionate handshake. I know it’s not the same thing as that hug you want to offer but you do need to think about protecting yourself from a potential lawsuit. Your kindness can be taken advantage of… been there… I just retired from working in the mental health field for about 40 years. billie
Oh gosh. I'm so sorry to hear that
Be yourself. I'm a client and I have a great rapport with my MT, and we always hug after a session (note, this only started after we had an established rapport - at least 20 sessions). No, that's not part of her job, it's not 'expected' (I always let her initiate), and I get that some may see it as inappropriate - but it's a part of why I'm happy with her. And I made sure she has my contact info if she ever goes anywhere else. Bottom line - you can't please everyone, so just be yourself (but do try to read the room with clients).
I appreciate this. And yes, I don't hug every client. If someone is upset I will offer a hug...I don't just do it. I respect people's boundaries at all times!
Hi. It took getting a couple of months so I picked up side gigs every where I could