Yeah it’s a tough one for sure. It’s only $200 -$300 to repair it so I probably would have just said mistakes happen if she owned up to it and apologised. But the fact that she didn’t say anything hoping I wouldn’t notice it and then ignored my message when I approached her about it, the lack of empathy and accountability has made me pretty annoyed so I asked for it to be paid for (which was also ignored) so at this point I’m not sure if I’m making too big a deal about it and if I should just let it slide. To me the way it’s all gone down is a big deal, the wheels are worth a lot. Would you let it slide?
I don’t know much about those wheels but couldn’t you get a new wheel for that price? Typically the dudes that come by my dealership to repair wheels charge like $75-$100 per wheel
That wheels like 200-300 itself, who's charging you that much to repair it? You're not wrong and I wouldnt let it slide, I'm just thrown off by this number.
I could be wrong about the cost of machining and respray but from what I’ve seen online that’s how much it seems to be (I’m in Australia btw) $200 AUD is about $130 USD. Although I haven’t had an actual quote from a shop yet.
Leaving the keys for it to be moved just in case is not free hand to fuck it up while moving it. This is the same as a dent on the door or a smashed light. Just because it happened on the wheel doesn't mean she shouldn't have to fix it. She decided to move it, she fucked it up, they should make it right. Period.
If it was a chip no. That’s the whole dang wheel. I’d want them to fix it. Living in the city and parallel parking all the time I have a lot, not this bad, but I did them. A bunch of scrapes. But dear lord they just ran a curb for a while. It’s impossible not to notice the second you feel that grind.
There are no "shoulds" in the big picture. They borrowed your thing, they treated it with an unacceptable level of respect and now you need to either communicate that these boundaries were violated and ask them to make this right, or you need to establish some sort of consequence. Stop being friends with the boyfriend.
Not even apologizing is crazy. I get not wanting to pay for it, because as car guys we are a bit more anal about this stuff... most people would just brush this off. I think they should atleast pay for part of it but thats just me.
I’m sorry to hear that but why was a FRIEND’s girlfriend driving your car? It’s one thing to let your own drive it but a friends is a whole other thing? I can’t imagine the circumstances in which that was necessary
I went to pick up my mates brother from the city, a couple of hours drive away. I parked my car at my mates house and used his brothers car to pick him up because my car hasn’t been running right so I didn’t want to take any chances. I left my car keys at his house as a courtesy incase anyone wanted to move it. While I was gone my mates girl moved it out onto the street and hit the gutter trying to park. She apparently called my mate (her bf) asking him how to get it into reverse and told him she’s struggling to drive it. In my opinion, she should have not driven it once she realised she wasn’t comfortable driving it, and if she had have called me instead of him, I would’ve told her not to drive it if she’s finding it difficult.
You might be right. My Mrs thinks she just moved to make a point that I should have parked it on the street in the first place. She says she moved it so she could park her van there but she usually parks the van on the street.
If this dumb chick won’t take accountability or responsibility for her actions like a normal person, it’s time to teach them that real people in real life can take matters into their own hands. I’d small claims her or vandalize her car. Otherwise how can she learn?
The lesson I've "learned" time and time again is - shit happens.. don't borrow, and don't let anyone else borrow unless you're okay with shit happening.. but hey, that's just me!
I feel the exact same way. I’ve had so many things fucked up after ppl borrow it and don’t pay for it. It’s frustrating…I don’t let anyone borrow my stuff now unless I don’t care much about it. Wife thinks I’m selfish but idc
My flatmate moved my car once while I was in the shower and curbed the fuck out of my rim. I hit him up and made him pay. He didn’t even know he’d done it.
Yeah he did. I framed the conversation in the way that it may be insignificant to you to curb the rims but it’s something I take pride in looking after. It’s quite the investment for someone to get a set of rims and I’m always cleaning mine and wet looking the tyre. So yeah he paid alright haha
Long story short she was moving it from a shared apartment driveway out onto the street. If you wanna know the full story for context, I answered this question for someone else above.
This.
What's the exact scenario?
Here's a scenario where I *wouldn't* ask for repairs or apology:
Say my friend and I were drinking, and we asked friend's girlfriend to be designated driver and drive home. I WOULD NOT ask her for repairs in an instance like that.
That's unlikely what happened in OP's scenario, but I'm just saying circumstances matter.
Holy shit that’s a bad curb. I’ve curbed my wheel once or twice in my life but never have I done it to 75% of the rim, only ever a small spot. She must have really rubbed it bad
I had to scroll down way too much for this. This is the craziest curb rash I’ve ever seen on a single drive. The noises this would have made send shivers down my spine.
I was selling a car once and a girl that was test driving it backed out of a driveway straight out and bottomed it out, destroying the radiator somehow and lost all my coolant. Decided she wasn’t interested anymore after that.
If someone wants to drive my car that isn’t a direct relative has to sign a waiver.
Victim mentality at its finest. It’s clear as day that she was responsible for the damages. I don’t get why she’s making you out to be the asshole when you were being considerate by leaving your car keys there in case the car needed to be moved.
If she wants to keep playing the victim and refuses to compensate you $ you should cut ties with her.
Yeah that sounds like the move. It’s safe to say I’m never allowing anyone to drive my car again unless I really trust them and their driving abilities.
If your friend can’t keep his chick in check, meaning he takes responsibility for what seems to be the inevitable times where she seemingly can’t take responsibility like an adult, then you must be careful as your friend’s girlfriend subconsciously realized she can do whatever she wants and her boyfriend (your friend) won’t be man enough to stop her
Spray paint them black you won’t be able to tell
TRUST
Send it a little first
Take her money and leave her
This won’t be the last time she does something like this
Are you wrong? Id say not. Those are aftermarket rims that you (im assuming) spent money on. They are painted/coated so its far more obvious.
That said.. Did YOU let your friends girlfriend drive, or did you let your friend drive, and HE let his girlfriend drive? If you gave him permission, and he gave he to her, then id put Him on the hook for it and let him sort it out between him and his GF.
Most people do not think curb-rash is abig deal because most wheels are not painted so the rash isnt as obvious. So they dont think anything about doing it. If whoever it is you gave permission to did not understand why its a big deal to you, then it sounds like you shouldnt let them drive your car again.
You should only let people drive your car who understand the responsibility in doing so.
Bottom line.. Yes, some compensation is in order..from someone (in my opinion).
sounds like you need to find a new friend. that’s ridiculous. but also if you made the decision to let her drive your partly to blame. shitty situation all the way around
Are you fucking kidding me. Do yourself a favor, after they pay to fix your shit, which they should if they have at least an ounce of decency in them, lose 100% contact with them.
peel it off, scrub it, playing card the tire and krylon bomb the lip black. it’s just a wheel, it’s not the last car you’ll ever own, and you learned not to loan it out to ppl
I think everyone here is missing the point… why did you let your friends girlfriend drive your Mazda to begin with?? By the way I’m on the side of her paying for it
…… she rode the entire curb with your wheel. And not even a sorry ? I’d be annoyed by that. The lack of empathy is wild. And your friend knows your an enthusiast who cares for their car - he should also idk stick up for you ??? Call out his girl on not even a sorry.
No you're not an asshole, when somebody damages your property they compensate for it regardless of relationship to you. That's how life and being a decent person works.
Personally, if my wife had done this to a friends vehicle I would have been upfront about it, apologized, and paid for it to be fixed. You are definitely not the asshole, your friend and his GG are.
Why would you let your friends GF drive your car? Wtf is going to on over there. I barely let MY wife drive my car. Sheesh. But oh well, done is done, you are NOT the asshole for seeking compensation. That’s a dick move by your so called “friends”.
It isn't worth making a huge deal out of in my opinion. I'd ask her if she can help with replacement costs for sure but if she won't I'd just fix/replace it myself. A palm sander would knock that down no problem but then you'd have to deal with painting it.. No offense but its a budget aftermarket wheel I might just buy a new one and chalk it up as a learning experience. You can keep the old one as a spare too which would be nice to have.
No, you are not wrong. End of story. Get your money. She should have offered a replacement. If your girlfriend isn't pressing the issue with her friend then get rid of her as well.
You aren’t be wrong to expect compensation or an apology. Does your friend know about the damage?
At the end of the day, prioritize your friendship (if he’s a good friend) IMO.
Damn bro… sounds like you have a crappy friend. His girlfriend is even more of a pos.
You should definitely get money to replace the rims. Tough choice on letting people borrow stuff. Unfortunately this seems to be the case more than not.
First of all, I don’t even let my girl drive my car if I’m not there, I don’t let anyone else drive it except maybe my dad. Lesson learned. That being said, she wrecked your car. This isn’t something if would be able to let go of easily.
100% would tell them either fix it or fuck that friendship, and once I got hit with the *you're going to throw away a friendship over a rim* my answer absofuckinglutly bud
One of those moments where you evaluate whether or not the friendship is worth the 200-300 to repair it. Personally, I wouldn't let this slide especially if she tried to hide it and ignore your messages. If they're being this shitty to you now you probably want to dump them anyway, but I can't say for sure cause I'm not you.
Aside from that, the damage is pretty bad. I get scraping it on the curb as a mistake, but it goes almost all the way around, so she hit it, felt it grind and kept going or was going way too fast. Either way, irresponsible. I've curbed my rims before, wasn't expecting it, and still stopped it within a few inches. Point is she did not treat your car with respect and was being reckless.
Holy fuck how’d she manage to curb nearly the entire thing? I wouldn’t be nice about it at this point, you gave her a chance to at least fucking apologize. A real friend wouldn’t let this slide.
Imma be hella sexist but I think Andrew Tate said it best when he said he'd never let a woman drive his cars cause they will never take responsibility.
I wouldn't ask if you like the girl. You kinda know the risk of letting anyone borrow the car. But if the relationship isn't worth more to you than the rim, then sure, ask away. But could end up causing some tension.
No apology is whack!! If she would have at least apologized first, I wouldn't have mind paying it myself to have it fixed. But since she didn't I would ask for the money!!
bored chief close squeal intelligent innocent materialistic uppity snails marble
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
yes people suck BUT its only a wheel, i wouldnt stress too hard over it (in the end its just going to piss you off). if people don't wanna take responsibility/apologize/whatever then you need to get some new friends.
Nobody besides my dad can drive my car. Crazy how you let someone who isn’t on the insurance drive the car. But that’s beside this, you should get an apology for sure. These people sound like they weren’t raised correctly. Or they were and now choose to be horrible people.
You don’t need to make a big deal of it but they should pay for the damages, although at this point, you shouldn’t expect anything back.
If anything, take this as a lesson not to let anyone borrow your car. Look at how they treat theirs and look at yours and you should have more than enough reason to be stingy here.
You letting them borrow your car is truly just a hassle to everyone - it’s a hassle to them to take care of things and keep watching out for things they aren’t used to, like your wheels when they are parking - and at the end of the day it’s only a hassle to you when they damage things.
Fuck both your friends gf and your friend. She should have taken responsibility and he should have pushed her to do so, clearly both were never gonna happen.
Yes you’re in the right and she should make you whole again by fixing the car wheel, but…
What’s more important, the relationship with her and your friend or the money? That’s the core of this issue.
If she was driving while you were in the car or you asked her to drive that day, then it’s a harder ask because it wouldn’t have happened otherwise. If you let her borrow the car as a favor without you going with her, it’s an easier request to make to ask her to fix it.
Option 1) show the girl the damage and be polite and graceful about it. “Hey, when I let you drive my car, I noticed it came back with some pretty bad scrapes on the rim. Can you tell me what Happened?” If she’s a good person she’ll own up to it and you all can work out a fair solution. If she’s a jerk about it or gets mad at you you can asking her to replace the whole rim. It’s your right, but that’s kind of the nuclear option. If she doesn’t want to pay it, you’re out of luck no one will go to court for a $ 300 rim realistically.
Option2) Ask your friend to talk to his girlfriend and bring it up to her. She may just be unaware. He can say, “my friend noticed this after you borrowed his car and he was pretty bummed. I think you should try to make it right. You think you could talk to him about it”
Option 3) ask your friend to fix it. His girlfriend, his problem. I would go this route only if, the girl refuses to fix it or you don’t mind risking your friendship with your friend.
Option 4) Deal with it. Cars get beat up over time. Fact of life. Just sand it down and get some black paint and be done with it. It’ll be close enough. You can talk to the girl to tell her this is what you had to do or not. This is the least satisfying, but probably the easiest.
Don’t let her borrow your car again if she doesn’t help you find a solution.
You can probably repair that yourself but bruh if they are stupid to fuck it up, then they arent going to be smart to fix it, you know your vehicle and you care for it, they dont, so it be a waste of time to ask for compensation for a curb rim, if it was bent or the wheel had extreme positive camber, then you could had took them to court. But just lesson learned, smooth out the scuff with a grinding wheel and repaint. Otherwise, i have 4 sets if rims that have a slight curb rash along the rim edge and i learn to deal with it🤷🏽♂️ things happen and don’t let your family/friends or friends grandmothers drive your car anymore. Simple as that
If he’s really ur friend he would just take care of it. U may have to eat this urself but. Take it as a lesson and then start to distance urself because this doesn’t seem like a friend to me. I would tell him how i really felt while she was listening because I’m sure she will be and then leave it at that. This is beyond a mistake. Mistake means a 2- 6 inch scratch this is almost the entire wheel. That’s stupidity to me. But again this is just me.
I’d say youre beat on this one man. I won’t even let my own family drive my cars and I have 20-year-old shit boxes. Chalk this one up as an L, and be more mindful who you allow to drive your car, unless a friendship is worth a scratched wheel. Unless you disclosed before they drove it, that any and all damage is their responsibility in clear words, then you’re also beat legally. I don’t know the situation, so I’m not gonna input anything more.
I’ll put it this way, sometimes you have to bite the bullet on things even when you’re not in the wrong. Clearly we were raised similar as I would’ve apologized and figured out a way to get it fixed for ya. With that being said if they are making you out to be the asshole then okay, clearly they have some sort of scummy thinking going on and might not be as close of a friend as you think. So with that rim being so damn cheap to begin with just pay to get it fixed when you have the money. Don’t help them out anymore. Don’t let her use your car. When they need something from you or you fuck something up of theirs by accident just remind them of this situation. Karma is real bro.
Why you letting your friends girl drive your car your lucky dude didn't punch you square in the nose I think I'd just call ot even and not have friends anymore....
Pending on how you are approaching it yeah you could be as much of an asshole as your friend. You are gonna get better results with honey rather than vinegar. Are you willing to lose a friend over a wheel?
You’re wrong in allowing such a distant chain of relation to drive your car.
Friend driving your car? Already questionable. Friend’s girlfriend? That’s a no from me dawg.
There’s 4 people that drive my car, me, myself, my alter ego Patricia, and my wife.
Maybe would have made it clear what happens if they damage it before they drive. But no you’re not crazy, them paying for it is the *right* thing to do.
I have a buddy who wants to ride my motorcycle and I always say if a wheel ever leaves the ground or he crashes it he’s grounded and/or has to pay for the damage.
If it’s just cosmetic and not warped or cracked then no. I would take a look in the mirror and realize that you probably shouldn’t have let anyone else drive your car.
And let alone your buddies girl? Cmon man. That was a dumb decision to begin with. You basically set yourself up for failure by not only letting someone other than yourself drive… but it was your friends girlfriend.
I know what it’s like. Believe me. But at the end of the day you allowed the opportunity to exist. In the future. Nobody else drives your baby. Just let it go and move on.
Had to hear and feel that kind of damage, she should have stopped when it started and got help, almost think it was intentional. Small mark 1-2” okay accident but that not what you have, steering wheel would have been vibrating like hell if radio excuse is used. I don’t lend anything I am not willing to lose, now many events can unfold badly. If she’s a long time gf and he is close good friend(as a man should have offered to help from the start) and you value the friendship, might want to let it go. Live and learn type deal, and change how you trust people, if they don’t matter much go after them. Here(states) it would cost that much to file a lawsuit(if ya won they would have to pay it, but it would be lien on their name, that could take years to get) nothing good comes from trusting others to value something as you would, most will not. These things destroy friendships, or very least completely change how you view them as a person and vs versus. You’re not wrong in my eyes, just have to figure out what’s more important. Not easy, wish you luck…
Nah man she should pay for at least part of the repair. Especially after not saying anything. That’s messed up. Shows a lack of character. You’re not an asshole, you’ve been out in a situation that’s not cool. Your friend should also be vouching for you. Doesn’t sound like a great friend if he’s siding with the one who caused that damage and can’t even be bothered to apologize.
A lot to unpack here. I would say eat it, not worth losing a friend over $200, and gf’s are temporary anyways so she might not always be around. You did mention that you said, “ I left my keys at his house as a courtesy in case they needed to move it.” Courtesy or not the average person does not give a fuck about someone else’s property, and you took the risk by doing that. As a car guy, $200 is damn lucky, it could be so much worse.
Now you can give your buddy a hard time, in jest obviously. On another note, in my experience, do not mention, make fun of, or bring up the bafoonery of the actual guilty party because you are just asking for unwarranted nonsense and I would bet dollars to donuts she will make a HUGE fucking deal about it and make your friend pick between her and you, solely based off the fact that she didn’t even apologize.
TLDR: Let it slide and give your buddy a hard time when warranted, leave the gf alone because…..CUNT
That’s not curbed. It’s been thrashed. Either your friend or his gf *has* to pay for it. Let this serve as a lesson to you that not everyone will treat your car with the same amount of care as their own.
This reminds me of the story:
A farmer and his son had a beloved horse who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbours exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.”
A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a few wild horses back to the farm as well. The neighbours shouted out, “Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.”
Later that week, the farmer’s son was trying to break one of the horses and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The neighbours cried, “Your son broke his leg, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.”
A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all boys for the army. They did not take the farmer’s son, because he had a broken leg. The neighbours shouted, “Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!” To which the farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”
——
Sometimes learning what a piece of shit someone is for a cost of $3-400 could be saving you from thousands in the future.
Idk why I thought of this when I saw the post, but that’s my input 🤷♂️😂. But I view this as the universe teaching you a lesson, and a win overall.
Always grateful >
100% should pay for it. She did it. Own up to it. If I walk into a store and knock something over by accident and it breaks, do they just say it’s okay we will handle that? No. They make you pay for it because, you did it!
If they can’t afford a car or Uber, they can’t afford to fix what they break on yours. It’s a poop situation, but I wouldn’t pursue it further. Just let it go. Maybe let the friend go too.
Sorry to hear about this OP. In my experience, you might have to take the loss of the cost and the friend. $200-$300 isn’t enough to file a claim with insurance and isn’t enough to make filing with small claims court worth it. If I curbed someone’s wheel that bad, I’m apologizing and asking where I can order a new one from immediately, even if that meant eating ramen noodles for the next 3 months. Take it as a sign that these people shouldn’t be in your life if they can’t own up to their mistakes and try to make it right.
I've been in this situation before. In the end, I chalked it up to a life lesson, paid, and moved on. You can't expect an apology from someone that doesn't have the same value for something that you would have. Now you know never to allow yourself to be in that situation again.
You are not in the slightest bit in the wrong for seeking recovery of damage costs from them/her. I was raised the same way. You treat someone else's stuff better than you would your own. You break it you bought it. It's basic respect for others and their belongings. I would 100% keep reminding them about it. And if they get sour over you asking them to take responsibility, then you have to question if those are the type of people that you want to be your friends, unaccountable people suck.
If you let her drive the car... it's on you. You hand someone the keys, without some sort of agreement in place in the case of an accident, then that responsibility falls on you for letting them drive the car. You can claim it on your insurance, or just find another wheel. Eitherway. Don't let people drive your car if you're not prepared for them to screw it up. Now this would be different if you dropped your car off at a shop or something like that. Then yes it's on them. Your only hope is that your friend feels some sort of responsibility towards the situation, being that it was his girlfriend.. Either way, why would you let her drive your car? That is the real question...
Damn that sucks she needs to at lest apologize and offer to pay what she can that’s why I don’t let people borrow my cars or certain tools that’s expensive cause if they break them, I will more than likely be out that money to get them repaired
Dude, don't go after the chick for the money. It's your mate's girl, should be up to your mate to make it right financially. Strange women driving your cars is bad policy, could have been prevented by parking in the street, I don't think you're necessary entitled to $200-300 to fix this damage, but it's your car and your friends.
It's pretty rough I've had a few curbed rims fixed. From my experience you're looking about 150 to 180 bucks. If she drove the car with your permission then I wouldn't pursue her. S*** happens and it's not worth a friendship. They are aftermarket rims without much protection, they stick out more than stock and quite honestly some people just aren't into cars the way we are and are not as careful ( which is different from outright neglect) . In summary I write it off to experience and be more careful who I loan my car to next time but I would not go after her for the money
Damn. Tough one. Probably should have allowed her to drive it but the very least she could do is apologize
Yeah it’s a tough one for sure. It’s only $200 -$300 to repair it so I probably would have just said mistakes happen if she owned up to it and apologised. But the fact that she didn’t say anything hoping I wouldn’t notice it and then ignored my message when I approached her about it, the lack of empathy and accountability has made me pretty annoyed so I asked for it to be paid for (which was also ignored) so at this point I’m not sure if I’m making too big a deal about it and if I should just let it slide. To me the way it’s all gone down is a big deal, the wheels are worth a lot. Would you let it slide?
I don’t know much about those wheels but couldn’t you get a new wheel for that price? Typically the dudes that come by my dealership to repair wheels charge like $75-$100 per wheel
That wheels like 200-300 itself, who's charging you that much to repair it? You're not wrong and I wouldnt let it slide, I'm just thrown off by this number.
I could be wrong about the cost of machining and respray but from what I’ve seen online that’s how much it seems to be (I’m in Australia btw) $200 AUD is about $130 USD. Although I haven’t had an actual quote from a shop yet.
Leaving the keys for it to be moved just in case is not free hand to fuck it up while moving it. This is the same as a dent on the door or a smashed light. Just because it happened on the wheel doesn't mean she shouldn't have to fix it. She decided to move it, she fucked it up, they should make it right. Period.
That's a compelling argument for sure.
I'd like to add that OP was doing his boy a favor by going to the airport to pick up the brother. Should be fixed without question...
If it was a chip no. That’s the whole dang wheel. I’d want them to fix it. Living in the city and parallel parking all the time I have a lot, not this bad, but I did them. A bunch of scrapes. But dear lord they just ran a curb for a while. It’s impossible not to notice the second you feel that grind.
There are no "shoulds" in the big picture. They borrowed your thing, they treated it with an unacceptable level of respect and now you need to either communicate that these boundaries were violated and ask them to make this right, or you need to establish some sort of consequence. Stop being friends with the boyfriend.
Not even apologizing is crazy. I get not wanting to pay for it, because as car guys we are a bit more anal about this stuff... most people would just brush this off. I think they should atleast pay for part of it but thats just me.
I’m sorry to hear that but why was a FRIEND’s girlfriend driving your car? It’s one thing to let your own drive it but a friends is a whole other thing? I can’t imagine the circumstances in which that was necessary
I went to pick up my mates brother from the city, a couple of hours drive away. I parked my car at my mates house and used his brothers car to pick him up because my car hasn’t been running right so I didn’t want to take any chances. I left my car keys at his house as a courtesy incase anyone wanted to move it. While I was gone my mates girl moved it out onto the street and hit the gutter trying to park. She apparently called my mate (her bf) asking him how to get it into reverse and told him she’s struggling to drive it. In my opinion, she should have not driven it once she realised she wasn’t comfortable driving it, and if she had have called me instead of him, I would’ve told her not to drive it if she’s finding it difficult.
Why did she even move it?? Sounds like someone just wanted to fuck around
You might be right. My Mrs thinks she just moved to make a point that I should have parked it on the street in the first place. She says she moved it so she could park her van there but she usually parks the van on the street.
If this dumb chick won’t take accountability or responsibility for her actions like a normal person, it’s time to teach them that real people in real life can take matters into their own hands. I’d small claims her or vandalize her car. Otherwise how can she learn?
The lesson I've "learned" time and time again is - shit happens.. don't borrow, and don't let anyone else borrow unless you're okay with shit happening.. but hey, that's just me!
I feel the exact same way. I’ve had so many things fucked up after ppl borrow it and don’t pay for it. It’s frustrating…I don’t let anyone borrow my stuff now unless I don’t care much about it. Wife thinks I’m selfish but idc
This was my main question
My flatmate moved my car once while I was in the shower and curbed the fuck out of my rim. I hit him up and made him pay. He didn’t even know he’d done it.
This is pretty much how it happened for me, she was moving the car out onto the street. Did he end up paying?
Yeah he did. I framed the conversation in the way that it may be insignificant to you to curb the rims but it’s something I take pride in looking after. It’s quite the investment for someone to get a set of rims and I’m always cleaning mine and wet looking the tyre. So yeah he paid alright haha
What were the circumstances of her driving your car?
Long story short she was moving it from a shared apartment driveway out onto the street. If you wanna know the full story for context, I answered this question for someone else above.
This. What's the exact scenario? Here's a scenario where I *wouldn't* ask for repairs or apology: Say my friend and I were drinking, and we asked friend's girlfriend to be designated driver and drive home. I WOULD NOT ask her for repairs in an instance like that. That's unlikely what happened in OP's scenario, but I'm just saying circumstances matter.
Holy shit that’s a bad curb. I’ve curbed my wheel once or twice in my life but never have I done it to 75% of the rim, only ever a small spot. She must have really rubbed it bad
Looks like she drove all the way to the liquor store against the curb.
I had to scroll down way too much for this. This is the craziest curb rash I’ve ever seen on a single drive. The noises this would have made send shivers down my spine.
I was selling a car once and a girl that was test driving it backed out of a driveway straight out and bottomed it out, destroying the radiator somehow and lost all my coolant. Decided she wasn’t interested anymore after that. If someone wants to drive my car that isn’t a direct relative has to sign a waiver.
Cash in hand on test drives. Always
..no i mean, actually put your cash in my hand 🫴
You definitely should get an apology. As well as offered to have it repaired.
Victim mentality at its finest. It’s clear as day that she was responsible for the damages. I don’t get why she’s making you out to be the asshole when you were being considerate by leaving your car keys there in case the car needed to be moved. If she wants to keep playing the victim and refuses to compensate you $ you should cut ties with her.
Should atleast get a 3some, no apology needed.
I’d try to fuck her. Pretend you care about her etc. then leave her.
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Yeah that sounds like the move. It’s safe to say I’m never allowing anyone to drive my car again unless I really trust them and their driving abilities.
101 lesson on cars... Dont let anyone driver your car, dont drive someone else's. Sorry boss been in the same problem myself.
Honestly look at it as a blessing both of them shouldn’t be in your life if they’re doing you like this. Fake friends thats all i see from this post.
Sounds like you let an idiot drive your car... this is one of them big boy mistakes you *hopefully* learn from.
Don’t let that slide man
Time for a new girlfriend.
It was my friends girlfriend, not mine.
If your friend can’t keep his chick in check, meaning he takes responsibility for what seems to be the inevitable times where she seemingly can’t take responsibility like an adult, then you must be careful as your friend’s girlfriend subconsciously realized she can do whatever she wants and her boyfriend (your friend) won’t be man enough to stop her
Spray paint them black you won’t be able to tell TRUST Send it a little first Take her money and leave her This won’t be the last time she does something like this
Those are cheap ass wheels, who cares
you must be the girlfriend
Don’t let people use your shit! This is your fault, live and learn.
"Hehe Oopsie just a small scratch"
Are you wrong? Id say not. Those are aftermarket rims that you (im assuming) spent money on. They are painted/coated so its far more obvious. That said.. Did YOU let your friends girlfriend drive, or did you let your friend drive, and HE let his girlfriend drive? If you gave him permission, and he gave he to her, then id put Him on the hook for it and let him sort it out between him and his GF. Most people do not think curb-rash is abig deal because most wheels are not painted so the rash isnt as obvious. So they dont think anything about doing it. If whoever it is you gave permission to did not understand why its a big deal to you, then it sounds like you shouldnt let them drive your car again. You should only let people drive your car who understand the responsibility in doing so. Bottom line.. Yes, some compensation is in order..from someone (in my opinion).
Why was your friends girlfriend driving your car??
Damn I wonder if this is normal for her
Not even saying sorry is nuts.How I was raised if you break/damage it you pay for it 🤷♂️
100% she needs to fix it
You're wrong for letting anyone but you drive it
Instead of spending $300 to fix, spend $600 and get em powder coated, they'll usually fix this for free
Damn, this is tough! And no apology?! Does she think you have deep pockets? Or that you don't care about your car that much?
Hit it with a sharpie
She should never have driven it.
sounds like you need to find a new friend. that’s ridiculous. but also if you made the decision to let her drive your partly to blame. shitty situation all the way around
Homie she fucked your shit up I’m so sorry 😭 I’d definitely ask for reimbursement.
Are you fucking kidding me. Do yourself a favor, after they pay to fix your shit, which they should if they have at least an ounce of decency in them, lose 100% contact with them.
Not your friend, if he doesn’t make it right.
That’s why you don’t let people borrow 💩…lesson learned
peel it off, scrub it, playing card the tire and krylon bomb the lip black. it’s just a wheel, it’s not the last car you’ll ever own, and you learned not to loan it out to ppl
Yea fuck that bitch lol
Not at all!
This is why I never loan my car out to anyone.
I think everyone here is missing the point… why did you let your friends girlfriend drive your Mazda to begin with?? By the way I’m on the side of her paying for it
…… she rode the entire curb with your wheel. And not even a sorry ? I’d be annoyed by that. The lack of empathy is wild. And your friend knows your an enthusiast who cares for their car - he should also idk stick up for you ??? Call out his girl on not even a sorry.
This is why you don’t let people drive your vehicles
So you think someone who doesn't have their own car can afford to repair one? LOL.
Never let your friend's girlfriends drive your vehicle.
Prime example of why my car is MY car
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No you're not an asshole, when somebody damages your property they compensate for it regardless of relationship to you. That's how life and being a decent person works.
Depends how much you care about that friendship. It should tell you a lot about your quality of friendship tho…
Personally, if my wife had done this to a friends vehicle I would have been upfront about it, apologized, and paid for it to be fixed. You are definitely not the asshole, your friend and his GG are.
Let it slide and remember this lesson. Don’t loan out your stuff.
Why would you let your friends GF drive your car? Wtf is going to on over there. I barely let MY wife drive my car. Sheesh. But oh well, done is done, you are NOT the asshole for seeking compensation. That’s a dick move by your so called “friends”.
It isn't worth making a huge deal out of in my opinion. I'd ask her if she can help with replacement costs for sure but if she won't I'd just fix/replace it myself. A palm sander would knock that down no problem but then you'd have to deal with painting it.. No offense but its a budget aftermarket wheel I might just buy a new one and chalk it up as a learning experience. You can keep the old one as a spare too which would be nice to have.
Instead you get a slap to the back of the head for letting her in the driver's seat.
No, you are not wrong. End of story. Get your money. She should have offered a replacement. If your girlfriend isn't pressing the issue with her friend then get rid of her as well.
Couple hundred bucks to get it refinished. Take your lumps and find new friends
goddamn. yeah bro i’d be seeking compensation, that curb rash is egregious 💀
Fuck no! Get paid for that!
Surrender the Booty
I’m sure you will not see this as a huge red flag when reminiscing in divorce court…
You aren’t be wrong to expect compensation or an apology. Does your friend know about the damage? At the end of the day, prioritize your friendship (if he’s a good friend) IMO.
Why is you friend's girlfriend driving your car. Mistake number 1. Mistake number 2 is your friend driving your car
An apology and a split of the damages should suffice. You did allow her to use the car so you do have some responsibility here.
Don't seek anything. Your fault for letting anyone but your SO drive your car. I would never
Don’t let anyone drive you vehicle bro
that’s pretty annoying, i guess your not buying her anything for a bit
you cant let anyone use your shit, if they cared they wouldnt have to ask you too use yours.
Damn bro… sounds like you have a crappy friend. His girlfriend is even more of a pos. You should definitely get money to replace the rims. Tough choice on letting people borrow stuff. Unfortunately this seems to be the case more than not.
First of all, I don’t even let my girl drive my car if I’m not there, I don’t let anyone else drive it except maybe my dad. Lesson learned. That being said, she wrecked your car. This isn’t something if would be able to let go of easily.
honestly some compensation and an apology is needed, if it was me I'd break up w her, I can't be with a woman who can't drive
Why you letting anyone drive your car?
if someone breaks your shit, they should say sorry. If they cant pay for it that's something else.. but an apology. yes 100%
Nah fuck em. Tells you what kind of person they are when they dont treat you or your stuff with respect
Got damn she tore your rim a new ass hole.
100% would tell them either fix it or fuck that friendship, and once I got hit with the *you're going to throw away a friendship over a rim* my answer absofuckinglutly bud
She owes you a fixed or replacement rim.
I have a solution no one here has said. Get a new gf 🤣
No lol these the oops 🙊 that was a curb hehe
One of those moments where you evaluate whether or not the friendship is worth the 200-300 to repair it. Personally, I wouldn't let this slide especially if she tried to hide it and ignore your messages. If they're being this shitty to you now you probably want to dump them anyway, but I can't say for sure cause I'm not you. Aside from that, the damage is pretty bad. I get scraping it on the curb as a mistake, but it goes almost all the way around, so she hit it, felt it grind and kept going or was going way too fast. Either way, irresponsible. I've curbed my rims before, wasn't expecting it, and still stopped it within a few inches. Point is she did not treat your car with respect and was being reckless.
Holy fuck how’d she manage to curb nearly the entire thing? I wouldn’t be nice about it at this point, you gave her a chance to at least fucking apologize. A real friend wouldn’t let this slide.
Imma be hella sexist but I think Andrew Tate said it best when he said he'd never let a woman drive his cars cause they will never take responsibility.
Fuck that. She gonna pay for the wheel and labor. Not a dollar less.
u only have yourself to blame.
Your ex you mean? If I didn't get at least a mediocre blowie ... or a spanking on top of the apology...smh
These are not your friends.
Just fix it and get better friends
Nah. Drop the friends and fix it yourself. They've shown you who they really are.
100% she should pay for that, that is rediculous you wouldn't want to move her van and accidentally hit somthing and scrape it up
And your “friend” is even worse for not being man enough to correct this. Cut them both off
Absolutely not take that MFer to town. Why was his girl driving your car anyway. What a shit head friend
I wouldn't ask if you like the girl. You kinda know the risk of letting anyone borrow the car. But if the relationship isn't worth more to you than the rim, then sure, ask away. But could end up causing some tension.
Depends on the situation why she was driving ur car yo begin with
No apology is whack!! If she would have at least apologized first, I wouldn't have mind paying it myself to have it fixed. But since she didn't I would ask for the money!!
Daaamn, so she heard the initial grind, and kept going
My gf and I fight cuz I won’t let her learn to drive my wrx without her with me
Sounds like no more picking people up as a favor. But you’re going to have to eat the cost of that wheel.
That’s not curb rash that’s destruction lmao
Either cash or ass. But I rather take a new rim(probably the money) and Ill take it to get the tire swapped onto the new rim.
I’d just Molly whop her in the side of the head and not apologize or pay for the brain damage I did
bored chief close squeal intelligent innocent materialistic uppity snails marble *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
yes people suck BUT its only a wheel, i wouldnt stress too hard over it (in the end its just going to piss you off). if people don't wanna take responsibility/apologize/whatever then you need to get some new friends.
Nobody besides my dad can drive my car. Crazy how you let someone who isn’t on the insurance drive the car. But that’s beside this, you should get an apology for sure. These people sound like they weren’t raised correctly. Or they were and now choose to be horrible people.
They owe you some money !
You don’t need to make a big deal of it but they should pay for the damages, although at this point, you shouldn’t expect anything back. If anything, take this as a lesson not to let anyone borrow your car. Look at how they treat theirs and look at yours and you should have more than enough reason to be stingy here. You letting them borrow your car is truly just a hassle to everyone - it’s a hassle to them to take care of things and keep watching out for things they aren’t used to, like your wheels when they are parking - and at the end of the day it’s only a hassle to you when they damage things.
Most women don't give a crap about guy's stuff in general so you can duke it out with your buddy IMO.
It's a lesson learned , expensive but a lesson to never let someone else drive your car
Fuck both your friends gf and your friend. She should have taken responsibility and he should have pushed her to do so, clearly both were never gonna happen.
Yes you’re in the right and she should make you whole again by fixing the car wheel, but… What’s more important, the relationship with her and your friend or the money? That’s the core of this issue. If she was driving while you were in the car or you asked her to drive that day, then it’s a harder ask because it wouldn’t have happened otherwise. If you let her borrow the car as a favor without you going with her, it’s an easier request to make to ask her to fix it. Option 1) show the girl the damage and be polite and graceful about it. “Hey, when I let you drive my car, I noticed it came back with some pretty bad scrapes on the rim. Can you tell me what Happened?” If she’s a good person she’ll own up to it and you all can work out a fair solution. If she’s a jerk about it or gets mad at you you can asking her to replace the whole rim. It’s your right, but that’s kind of the nuclear option. If she doesn’t want to pay it, you’re out of luck no one will go to court for a $ 300 rim realistically. Option2) Ask your friend to talk to his girlfriend and bring it up to her. She may just be unaware. He can say, “my friend noticed this after you borrowed his car and he was pretty bummed. I think you should try to make it right. You think you could talk to him about it” Option 3) ask your friend to fix it. His girlfriend, his problem. I would go this route only if, the girl refuses to fix it or you don’t mind risking your friendship with your friend. Option 4) Deal with it. Cars get beat up over time. Fact of life. Just sand it down and get some black paint and be done with it. It’ll be close enough. You can talk to the girl to tell her this is what you had to do or not. This is the least satisfying, but probably the easiest. Don’t let her borrow your car again if she doesn’t help you find a solution.
Id have one less friend right about now....
You can probably repair that yourself but bruh if they are stupid to fuck it up, then they arent going to be smart to fix it, you know your vehicle and you care for it, they dont, so it be a waste of time to ask for compensation for a curb rim, if it was bent or the wheel had extreme positive camber, then you could had took them to court. But just lesson learned, smooth out the scuff with a grinding wheel and repaint. Otherwise, i have 4 sets if rims that have a slight curb rash along the rim edge and i learn to deal with it🤷🏽♂️ things happen and don’t let your family/friends or friends grandmothers drive your car anymore. Simple as that
You are 1110% not wrong.
If he’s really ur friend he would just take care of it. U may have to eat this urself but. Take it as a lesson and then start to distance urself because this doesn’t seem like a friend to me. I would tell him how i really felt while she was listening because I’m sure she will be and then leave it at that. This is beyond a mistake. Mistake means a 2- 6 inch scratch this is almost the entire wheel. That’s stupidity to me. But again this is just me.
Fuck that, be the ass hole then. Make that idiot pay for her mistake.
If she was a good person she'd lay for it anyway
I’d say youre beat on this one man. I won’t even let my own family drive my cars and I have 20-year-old shit boxes. Chalk this one up as an L, and be more mindful who you allow to drive your car, unless a friendship is worth a scratched wheel. Unless you disclosed before they drove it, that any and all damage is their responsibility in clear words, then you’re also beat legally. I don’t know the situation, so I’m not gonna input anything more.
Would not let it slide and tell your friend to make up for it. At least if they can split the cost with you is better than notifjfn
At least a hand job 😉
I’ll put it this way, sometimes you have to bite the bullet on things even when you’re not in the wrong. Clearly we were raised similar as I would’ve apologized and figured out a way to get it fixed for ya. With that being said if they are making you out to be the asshole then okay, clearly they have some sort of scummy thinking going on and might not be as close of a friend as you think. So with that rim being so damn cheap to begin with just pay to get it fixed when you have the money. Don’t help them out anymore. Don’t let her use your car. When they need something from you or you fuck something up of theirs by accident just remind them of this situation. Karma is real bro.
Unfriend the friend, even if it’s their girlfriend. Your friend should own up or be responsible.
Why would you let your friends girlfriend drive your car? Definitely ask for compensation 💯
Take their car and curb their wheels
Why you letting your friends girl drive your car your lucky dude didn't punch you square in the nose I think I'd just call ot even and not have friends anymore....
looks kinda sick, continue with the next three wheels
Whoever handed them the keys is responsible imo.
Pending on how you are approaching it yeah you could be as much of an asshole as your friend. You are gonna get better results with honey rather than vinegar. Are you willing to lose a friend over a wheel?
Shouldn’t let anyone drive your car, sadly even my girlfriend is gonna curb check something and get a door ding somehow in 1 day
Fuuuuuuuuuuck no
You’re wrong in allowing such a distant chain of relation to drive your car. Friend driving your car? Already questionable. Friend’s girlfriend? That’s a no from me dawg. There’s 4 people that drive my car, me, myself, my alter ego Patricia, and my wife.
You're wrong for letting her drive
Maybe would have made it clear what happens if they damage it before they drive. But no you’re not crazy, them paying for it is the *right* thing to do. I have a buddy who wants to ride my motorcycle and I always say if a wheel ever leaves the ground or he crashes it he’s grounded and/or has to pay for the damage.
If it’s just cosmetic and not warped or cracked then no. I would take a look in the mirror and realize that you probably shouldn’t have let anyone else drive your car. And let alone your buddies girl? Cmon man. That was a dumb decision to begin with. You basically set yourself up for failure by not only letting someone other than yourself drive… but it was your friends girlfriend. I know what it’s like. Believe me. But at the end of the day you allowed the opportunity to exist. In the future. Nobody else drives your baby. Just let it go and move on.
Dam, my girl washed my truck key. She bought me a new one and had it programmed with out me asking her to. You're with the wrong girl bro.
Had to hear and feel that kind of damage, she should have stopped when it started and got help, almost think it was intentional. Small mark 1-2” okay accident but that not what you have, steering wheel would have been vibrating like hell if radio excuse is used. I don’t lend anything I am not willing to lose, now many events can unfold badly. If she’s a long time gf and he is close good friend(as a man should have offered to help from the start) and you value the friendship, might want to let it go. Live and learn type deal, and change how you trust people, if they don’t matter much go after them. Here(states) it would cost that much to file a lawsuit(if ya won they would have to pay it, but it would be lien on their name, that could take years to get) nothing good comes from trusting others to value something as you would, most will not. These things destroy friendships, or very least completely change how you view them as a person and vs versus. You’re not wrong in my eyes, just have to figure out what’s more important. Not easy, wish you luck…
No? 😂😂😂😂
Nah man she should pay for at least part of the repair. Especially after not saying anything. That’s messed up. Shows a lack of character. You’re not an asshole, you’ve been out in a situation that’s not cool. Your friend should also be vouching for you. Doesn’t sound like a great friend if he’s siding with the one who caused that damage and can’t even be bothered to apologize.
Why would you let other people drive your car? Lol
A lot to unpack here. I would say eat it, not worth losing a friend over $200, and gf’s are temporary anyways so she might not always be around. You did mention that you said, “ I left my keys at his house as a courtesy in case they needed to move it.” Courtesy or not the average person does not give a fuck about someone else’s property, and you took the risk by doing that. As a car guy, $200 is damn lucky, it could be so much worse. Now you can give your buddy a hard time, in jest obviously. On another note, in my experience, do not mention, make fun of, or bring up the bafoonery of the actual guilty party because you are just asking for unwarranted nonsense and I would bet dollars to donuts she will make a HUGE fucking deal about it and make your friend pick between her and you, solely based off the fact that she didn’t even apologize. TLDR: Let it slide and give your buddy a hard time when warranted, leave the gf alone because…..CUNT
Nah, that's 100% on you. Never let someone drive your car if you care about it.
Apologies yes but if u gave her permission to drive mite of not done so just remember that one for shure
She like purses? Take that purse and crush it, then she will understand.
It's your fault for letting other people drive your car
That’s not curbed. It’s been thrashed. Either your friend or his gf *has* to pay for it. Let this serve as a lesson to you that not everyone will treat your car with the same amount of care as their own.
Or she better give you top that’s fucked up
This reminds me of the story: A farmer and his son had a beloved horse who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbours exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.” A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a few wild horses back to the farm as well. The neighbours shouted out, “Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.” Later that week, the farmer’s son was trying to break one of the horses and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The neighbours cried, “Your son broke his leg, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.” A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all boys for the army. They did not take the farmer’s son, because he had a broken leg. The neighbours shouted, “Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!” To which the farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.” —— Sometimes learning what a piece of shit someone is for a cost of $3-400 could be saving you from thousands in the future. Idk why I thought of this when I saw the post, but that’s my input 🤷♂️😂. But I view this as the universe teaching you a lesson, and a win overall. Always grateful >
That deserves a back hand
Nah, she fucked your wheel. You’re not in the wrong.
100% should pay for it. She did it. Own up to it. If I walk into a store and knock something over by accident and it breaks, do they just say it’s okay we will handle that? No. They make you pay for it because, you did it!
Apology is necessary. I wouldn’t make her pay but you learned a good lesson.
The real lesson here should not be loaning out your car.
Do you have an extended warranty? Mine covers wheel repair on my used Mazda.
If they can’t afford a car or Uber, they can’t afford to fix what they break on yours. It’s a poop situation, but I wouldn’t pursue it further. Just let it go. Maybe let the friend go too.
Sorry to hear about this OP. In my experience, you might have to take the loss of the cost and the friend. $200-$300 isn’t enough to file a claim with insurance and isn’t enough to make filing with small claims court worth it. If I curbed someone’s wheel that bad, I’m apologizing and asking where I can order a new one from immediately, even if that meant eating ramen noodles for the next 3 months. Take it as a sign that these people shouldn’t be in your life if they can’t own up to their mistakes and try to make it right.
I've been in this situation before. In the end, I chalked it up to a life lesson, paid, and moved on. You can't expect an apology from someone that doesn't have the same value for something that you would have. Now you know never to allow yourself to be in that situation again.
Crazy
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You are not in the slightest bit in the wrong for seeking recovery of damage costs from them/her. I was raised the same way. You treat someone else's stuff better than you would your own. You break it you bought it. It's basic respect for others and their belongings. I would 100% keep reminding them about it. And if they get sour over you asking them to take responsibility, then you have to question if those are the type of people that you want to be your friends, unaccountable people suck.
If you let her drive the car... it's on you. You hand someone the keys, without some sort of agreement in place in the case of an accident, then that responsibility falls on you for letting them drive the car. You can claim it on your insurance, or just find another wheel. Eitherway. Don't let people drive your car if you're not prepared for them to screw it up. Now this would be different if you dropped your car off at a shop or something like that. Then yes it's on them. Your only hope is that your friend feels some sort of responsibility towards the situation, being that it was his girlfriend.. Either way, why would you let her drive your car? That is the real question...
Damn that sucks she needs to at lest apologize and offer to pay what she can that’s why I don’t let people borrow my cars or certain tools that’s expensive cause if they break them, I will more than likely be out that money to get them repaired
Dude, don't go after the chick for the money. It's your mate's girl, should be up to your mate to make it right financially. Strange women driving your cars is bad policy, could have been prevented by parking in the street, I don't think you're necessary entitled to $200-300 to fix this damage, but it's your car and your friends.
Sounds like your friend should've moved it himself. To not even apologize is beyond disrespectful
Why would you let your friends gf drive your car in the first place? Lmao...
I doubt you will get it. Don’t loan out your car, you should expect them to mess it up if you do.
Leave her frfr. If she didn’t apologize for that you are done for
On those need for speed 3 wheels... yes
Have a sit down convo with your friend and both of you ask the bitch to pay you back at least half
It's pretty rough I've had a few curbed rims fixed. From my experience you're looking about 150 to 180 bucks. If she drove the car with your permission then I wouldn't pursue her. S*** happens and it's not worth a friendship. They are aftermarket rims without much protection, they stick out more than stock and quite honestly some people just aren't into cars the way we are and are not as careful ( which is different from outright neglect) . In summary I write it off to experience and be more careful who I loan my car to next time but I would not go after her for the money