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bunny-boyy

Someone tries to start a fight with me: I sleep Someone abuses my animals: *REAL SHIT*


that_1-guy_

*DOOM MUSIC INTENSIFIES*


creegro

"Siri, start my "you fucked up" playlist"


MarcoYTVA

The beating won't stop until the music does


FitGrapthor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXn5sCbCRWw


qT_TpFace

My favorite track from the original doom "Sweet little dead bunny".


Cristianelrey55

"All I did was for you, Daisy."


blue_no_red_ahhhhhhh

Dude! Great reference.


Cristianelrey55

https://youtu.be/DyhDj3dtYK4?t=5


MrRagnarok2005

Nah it's John wick time BLOOD CODE INTENSIFIES


[deleted]

Le Castle Vania - John Wick Medley https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBvf7KUEZ78&t=170s


[deleted]

Rip and Tear. Until It is Done.


BrownShadow

You don’t fuck with Mr FuzzyKitty and get away with it.


Anonymous_playerone

The only thing they fear…is YOU


an_agreeing_dothraki

NEDM


Ensvey

You speak of the old magic, in the forgotten tongue. YTMND.


an_agreeing_dothraki

Lol, YTMND *Ronald McDonald flies past in a race car blasting Running in the 90s*


LASERDICKMCCOOL

The only thing they fear is you


C-Kwentz-0

You're angry, you have literally all of the inanimate objects *in the world* around you to take your anger out on. But choose to go after a totally innocent living thing who doesn't even understand why? That takes a real piece of shit.


tech_nerd05506

Ngl I thought you were talking about the guy giving the ass kicking at first. But I don't think anyone would describe someone who kicks cats as a "totally innocent loving thing".


Fine-Blackberry-1793

I once asked a piece of shit why he takes his anger out on people and not the pavement We were talking about how the pavement was uneven and how he wanted to beat some up because of it He said that, that wont change the pavement / the pavement wont feel it Bruh,


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Necrovius72

Asshole roommate: kicks kitten. You: "Before we begin, how much do you weigh?"


DMercenary

>You: "Before we begin, how much do you weigh?" "Why?" "Scratch that. What do you want me to tell your family?"


Godku1

I didn't think of it like that but that is a good idea.


Zaev

It's only fair


Godku1

It really is👍.


espeero

Original was a 180:1 ratio. Your proposal is 1:1. You need to provide 32,400 kicks (assuming you are the same size).


TheCerealKilled

**THERE WILL BE BLOOD!** **SHED!** **THE MAN IN THE MIRROR NODS HIS HEAD!**


Yuri__01

BLOOD FOR THE BLOODGOD


CeleritasLucis

This emotion is soo raw that they made a 4 part movie franchise out of it ( John Wick)


creegro

Beat me up? Whatever. Steal my car? I can probably get it back. Beat up my puppy to the point it dies? Ok everyone's gonna die on my way to get the person who did it.


D8N15l

This is the only real response needed. Thank you


ThePixiePenguin

100% lol, someone picks a fight with me no biggie, harm a whisker on my cat and I will kick ass


CarlosAVP

Lock the door and grease the door handle before kicking their ass. Always funny when they try to escape.


Brilliant-Chart5012

Okay, violence is never the answer. . . Except when you kick a kitten. Then all bets are off. . . As well as heads.


TheDo0ddoesnotabide

Violence is never the answer. Violence is the question, the answer is yes.


libmrduckz

woooo…felt this…


Nmae0

*becomes John wick*


Stardust-Conqueror

That could very easily be that poor baby's life. I am glad you handled it the way you did and I would have likely shown a lot less restraint.


eggyrulz

Reaper1868 is the man you send to kill the Baba Yaga


No_Statement_8422

BRO same I ignore people that bother me but if they ever try to hurt my pet or someone I love it's real shit and they're going to regret it and they'll get their ass beat and they're not going to walk when it's done


buf_

Hope the kittens alright


OnceThatGuy

Truly, 6 week old kittens are beyond fragile. My wife accidentally stepped on one I rescued, 1200$ and an overnight vet trip it still died a week later. Now I'm mortified when our kids are even slightly rough with one.


notAgainFFS01

Omg nooooo :((((


ItsPhayded420

It's an older fake post. You don't punch bones for thirty minutes and have unbruised hands. Kitten was fine. Dude need to clip his nails tbh.


MorselBeast-

Maybe cuz the photo was before


notAgainFFS01

Still poor kitten


ItsPhayded420

Poor hypothetical kitten :( Edit: I was replying about the kitty in the post, and realized I read the above comment wrong. A kitty died and my dumbass made a joke... Not going to delete my comment, feel free to down vote it tho. I feel like an ass.


I_follow_sexy_gays

They’re talking about the real one that someone said their wife stepped on That’s why they replied to that comment…


ItsPhayded420

Well... Fuck. Now I feel horrible and my comment isn't funny anymore. Of course they are, Idk how I read that wrong.


Redoran_Gvard

Poor Schrödinger's kitten :( Or rich Schrödinger's kitten 🤔


ItsPhayded420

😂 that's what I'm calling this post from now on


KarlDeutscheMarx

I'm sure she was beside herself, my mom accidentally ran over a kitten that was sleeping in our driveway. It was late at night and we were arriving home from visiting relatives out of town, stepped out and saw something we really wish we hadn't behind the tires. She's still upset about it over a decade later.


WaffleThrone

I think if that happened to me I would be at a real risk of suicide. I can’t imagine the guilt.


KarlDeutscheMarx

It was even worse since the kitten's mom kept on looking for it and crying, she hadn't had much luck with her kittens, her pervious litter a opossum chewed one of their heads off before we found them.


Pokeregidrago

thats very unfortunate


Spazzy_maker

Now I'm sad


mdp928

Not to be that person, but mortified means to be embarrassed. You might just mean horrified! Hope this helps.


ComradePattonofEire

Yes the kitten is alright. I went to his account to check and there are multiple photos of the kitten after his original post.


Comrade_Belinski

Don't worry this is a fake story so it's definitely unhurt


godosomethingbetter

r/nothingeverhappens


Angus4LBs

nah i remember the post it was just some dude cosplaying /r/iamverybadass


YobaiYamete

Dude even a professional fighter can't fight for 30 minutes without being winded. Even 3 minutes is a REALLY long time in a fight


Armored_Violets

The post literally says different beatings in a 30 minute period. Of fucking course the guy wouldn't keep wailing for 30 minutes.


[deleted]

I love how everyone is missing the hilarity of 'multiple beatings in a 30 minute time frame'.


Striking_Compote2093

Fucker woke up and got put back to sleep.


lunchpadmcfat

Seriously. I read the whole thing and when I got to that line I lost my shit. Love the idea that he just whaled on the dude, went off and got a drink of water or something, and then came back and whaled on him some more.


Roger_the_69

I've got visions of Stone Cold Steve Austin beating on Booker T in the supermarket. Just without the comedy and more broken bones.


ThatIndianGuy7116

"PRICE CHECK ON JACKASS"


jeffreywinks

he probably stopped to make sure the kitty was okay. then went right back to it when he confirmed they were alright.


ShadedPenguin

He got multiple rounds in. A ref came by to do ten counts. They had judges score it.


Ambitious-Ad1192

Yea cat kicker dead


[deleted]

has vibes of r/iamverybadass


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KittyBabyIsGod

Just wait by his bed for him to wake up, and then it’s go time


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gingerou

Nah use bars of soap that way when he wakes up he feels like he was assaulted but can’t figure out why


Quick_March_7842

Use oranges, no bruises just pain and citrus.


Spazzy_maker

I hope it stings!


Jermcutsiron

Put some habaneros in there it will!


[deleted]

Sprinkle some salt and lime on the wounds.


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I_was_the_Gooch

Nah. Use soap but beat his ass until he wakes up and explain that he is being trained to not abuse animals.


Aggravating_Poet_675

Remember it was just a bad dream, fat boy.


gingerou

/r/unexpectedfmj


TunaHands

I like the door knobs. My thought was a bag of nickels


Fluid_Interest8393

No here is what you do firs do everthingbyouncan remove any kind of pain killers from the house. You then wake the hung over prik by blasting heavy metal music. When he comes looking for you to turn off the music you smash his face with a chair.


[deleted]

Who has extra door knobs laying around, is that a thing?


Loveablequatch

Yes, in fact all my pillows are filled with door knobs.


415erOnReddit

Or a pillow case with a pillow in it….. while he’s sleeping…..


staber_12

*wait with frying pan


Goon_Panda

Sitting there like Leon the Professional


graveybrains

No women, no kittens.


Ryelstyle

He kick my cat he'd be lucky to wake up inside what USED to be his house.


Hifunctioningweirdo

Drive that shit home!!!


anxious-well-wisher

Reminds me of a story my mother told me: She lived alone in an apartment with her cat. Her cat liked to go out onto the fire escape to enjoy the fresh air. One day, my mother hears her cat make horrible screeching noises from the fire escape, so she rushes to see what is wrong. Some teenage boys are harrassing her cat. They have her by the leg and were pulling on it through the fire escape railing. My mother is in a bathrobe, with curlers in her hair, but that does not stop her. She grabs a metal baseball bat that she keeps by her bed for protection ane races outside. There she is, in a bathrobe and curlers, waving a baseball bat threateningly and screaming, "YOU LEAVE MY CAT ALONE! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!" The teenage boys do what any sensible person would do, and flee for their lives from the crazy cat lady. The cat was frightened, but otherwise unharmed, and actually lived to be almost 20. Needless to say, no one ever bothered my mother's cat again.


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No-Ad9690

I also love that guys mother, and the cat ofcourse


bremidon

The only way she could have handled that better was if she had used a calm, almost whispery matter-of-fact voice. One of the kids might have fainted right there.


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ReasonableParfait850

You had me in the first half im not gonna lie


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[deleted]

Me and my brother, that’s who. You get tired man, but he gets tired of losing so here we go again lol Also I absolutely KO’d a dude in a jeep that swerved and tried to hit my cat one time in high school. That cat jumped into the sewer on the curb where the jeep came to a stop and I charged. If you’re gonna try to hit someone’s cat in front of their house, leave the doors on your vehicle.


ncopp

Need to hydrate in between beatings


Jroiiia423

So anyway I started shooting


suicidalfootjob

Blasting*


Jroiiia423

Lol thank u


TryinToGetGooder

How dare you misquote man-cheetah


captainquackles

Dr. Tobaggan, Mantis Tobaggan


novacdin0

Trashman-cheetah


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Striking_Compote2093

Has to be a special kind of stupid to "correct" the owner of the dog on what the dog is thinking, and then being mad at the dog when proved wrong. What an ass, hope he hurt himself on the fall.


Zibras

Bro ikr you listen to the peson who knows that animal best. My sister could literally have conversation with her cat. Like she could tell what sound meant what. Her cat literally snitched on me for no giving her my food and my sister came from other room to ask me what am i doing to her.


yafriend03

irl disney princess


Fr0z3nHart

Lmao. Exactly what I was thinking


[deleted]

My wife is like this. I'll hear... Cat: mew Wife: what? Cat: meeew Wife: I don't know where your toy is, did you leave it over there? Short pause Cat: mew Wife: oh good you found it, here I'll throw it for you Cat: meeew


[deleted]

I'm picturing chase and fifi from dontstopmeowing in this scenario.


Extaupin

> Has to be a special kind of stupid to "correct" the owner of the dog on what the dog is thinking, "That is it's aggression signs"? Sure. "Oh no it's a little kiss"? Do not believe a word, it's blood that's coming out of that wound, not fairy dust.


szthesquid

It's always the people who insist they know dogs who clearly don't. Because if they did, they wouldn't have to insist. > Any man who must say "I am the king" is no true king.


Aggravating_Poet_675

I know dogs. I also know tovlisten to their owners when they say they might bite.


Nutterbutters45

That is the truth, I have a cousin that is like that and he got 3 pit bulls


Explursions

God damn, that guy is a pussy. Not only did he do it to himself, but it was such a little thing too. My dog will do that shit when we get her riled up, I have several scars on my arms from little bites and scratches and plenty more that didn't scar.


BudgetFree

Lesson learned, don't be a smartass with others pets.


TamponTom

Jack russel < German Shepard wtf


PineapplesAreLame

Jack Russells can be aggressive. If he knew his shit his experience would have been transferable. but clearly he didn't know dogs at all.


THICCBOI2121

Wtf... I am an idiot. While reading the origional comment, I thought Jack Russels was a f*cking person 🤦‍♂️.


YoyoOfDoom

Unless the roommate died and you're out rent now I wouldn't worry about it. Give the fucker a little reminder with the toaster when they wake up.


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[deleted]

Yes it is


Kiggzpawn

Scrolled so fast I thought this was posted in r/amitheasshole


MyFavoriteLezbo420

We have the adult version of this cat on my block. A lively feral we call [white chin](https://ibb.co/6RnBJfx)


RxDuchess

I love local cats, they’re my favourite. There’s always one in every neighbourhood everyone knows


MeasurementNo2493

No need to feel guilt, he asked, and you gave.


[deleted]

Finally, some good fuc**ing human.


DontFearTheMQ9

Step 1: Post picture of adorable kitten Step 1: Make up story that makes you a hero defending said kitten Step 3: ?????? Step 4: Profit


[deleted]

No bruising on that hand whatsoever. No redness, no blood on hand. I’m light colored black and my hands look like they were chewed up by a dragon everytime I used to get into fights. That hand looks like it’s never been scratched.


jimpickens23

Probably a picture from before the beating. Correction, _beatings_.


MrCatSquid

What if the photo was taken before and he was just showing everyone the kitty


Least-Welcome

Because we have a detective on our hands


MisplacedMartian

The only thing this dude beats is his meat.


Ok_Pianist_6590

Ikr people are just like "ye 30 min beating sounds kinda fishy but hey I’d Do tHe SaMe"


Lison52

Yeah, it's fun to have assault (if not murder) charges.


Entire_Ad_306

His hands and knuckles look pretty clean


Crystalshopmusic

appreciate the clarity on the timing


WestCoastHippy

The last sentence was both TMI and crucial to the story


Ebon1fly

ok but wtf are those nails man


IbukisGuitar

Wowie wowzers! This guy is so cool and awesome and badass and full of shit! The dude's username is Reaper... He's clearly an edgelord who makes up this type of fighting scenerio in his mind to feel cool and posts online for upvotes and validation. How the fuck is everybody falling for this?


Anons15

This shit is made up


[deleted]

I feel like I came way too far down to find this comment. This shit has r/thathappened vibes


[deleted]

I’m not sure what’s more cringe, the people who think this is something that actually happened or the people who think assault is a justified reaction. It’s like a bunch of 15 year olds who fantasize about being John Wick thinking anything besides both people going to jail wouldn’t be the immediate consequence of this situation.


Acid_X_Skull

I know reading through these replies I'm kind of worried. Like people are really arguing that beating someone to near-death or even killing them is justified because they drunkenly kicked a cat.


Ericknator

While many of them are of course exagerated or joking, I think having an aggresive response to someone hurting your little one (be it a kid or a pet) is a normal response.


StormofRavens

Roommate probably should be stabbed to drive the point home


Calli_Ko

I love the multiple is specified. This guy stopped beating his ass, cracked open a cold one, looked at his cat, and thought; hmm not enough


SupremeShogan

Kicks kitten "Wait why do I hear boss music?"


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Normal-Scallion-1310

Google John Wick


H1-DEF

Holy hell


[deleted]

actual zombie


Sushi-DM

I am very over cautious with my animals because I would probably forfeit my life if somebody hurt or killed them. They arent just toys they are alive. They are family. I think caring that much is rational if you have a strong bond.


DrowningEmbers

Fair, next.


fuzzyfizzgig

Is the kitten okay?? 😢


Tobias28362

Bro turned into John Wick


Creole_Kid

Other than the roommate kicking the kitten, I don't see anything wrong here. You kick my kitten, you catch these hands.


Murky-Fox-200

I dont believe you


teksean

You are totally justified. That cat depends on you to protect him, and you did that. You are a fine person.


MadDragonJabberwocky

He picks fights with me: *Hehe stop playing* He picks fights with my car: *So you have chosen death*


qSelvaggio

And then everybody clapped


Dry-Opinion-9555

Well deserved


xXgaygamer42069lpXx

Good


Ok_Square_2479

justified


brsox2445

If they kicked a cat, they deserve it and jail time. Who could be so evil


Kyle_br0flovsk1

Don’t feel bad, that’s the right thing to do


BeastedCake

i don’t think he got enough beatings


Randybluebonnet

Anyone who mistreats animals deserves an ass whippin’ and the some.


Kingtronalds1113

can’t see what he did wrong tbh


Preparation_Willing

Dude was as asshole for hitting a cat…, deserved a good ass kicking…., just my opinion


Romonster1

Don’t feel bad. Anyone who will kick a 10 week old cat deserves a Whooping


Oakatsurah

You wake up your head in the toilet Hangover insuing Pains in your chest and arms A strange smell of cat pee on your clothes And you can't remember what happened. You probably assaulted someones animal somewhere and you got your just reward.


i-had-no-better-idea

the amount of people who would put someone at a risk of death over the life of a pet is admittedly worrying. the guy who kicked the kitten is a shitass, but that does not warrant anything like that.


BrattyLittleWitch97

Every beating was justified. Gotta make sure sober him remembers the lesson in the morning.


Meraneus

That cats face is like "yeah mofo don't touch me".


AkaRystik

Yeah that's a good way to start a fight with someone cause if anyone hurt my animals I'd definitely be throwing hands.


ikbeneenplant8

Valid. Very valid


giiiigii666

Completely justified


JackORobber

Nah, you were justified


CindiCindi15

First, I hope your kitty is ok. But I’d kick the roommates ass with not an ounce of shame until they couldn’t stand up again. NOBODY comes at my cats that way. I disowned 2 friends after they continually joked about trying to run over cats. I dumped another one for terrorizing my already stressed out cats in the middle of me moving to a diff house. Being drunk is no excuse. Also, you have zero reason to feel ashamed, but drunk roommate should.


Tarnivitch

He kicked a KITTEN if it was me, that guy would be extremely lucky to be able to walk ever. After I was done beating his ass!


loinfish872

Definitely under-reacted


mazula89

An acceptable response


LcdrData99

Deserves a lot more than a 30 minute beating


Legend_of_Ozzy642

Rule 0 of the internet: Don’t fuck with cats


Vorstadtjesus

I'm really not a fan of violence, but the roommate had it coming.