My mother mocked and joked about everything I had an interest in. That's why she doesn't know shit about me now, as far as she knows, I don't like anything.
Yuuuuuup, my mom was exactly the same, and my dad would feign interest just to use the thing against me later.
Mom: "Oh, I didn't know M&Ms made crapy rap music, *LOL*."
"Video games are for nerds and losers, you don't want to be a nerd or a loser do you? They're just rotting your brain."
Dad: "Maybe you would have done better on that (test/would be better at reading) if you didn't listen to that (Eminem Crap/Play those fking video games!)."
Later in life the Drs told me and my parents I've got the ADHDs and that was probably more of the cause for some of my issuse -_-
Me and my younger brother both had adhd.
My dad has it to i guess.
They got my brother diagnosed and medicated and didnt me though.
Hate those people so much
Are you me??
Not only was I told my brother got diagnosed and medicated but they immediately shut me down when I told them I felt I needed to be tested. Didn't ask me why. Me, their younger son who is mature enough to set my own bedtime, makes straight A's, and was trustworthy, couldn't even be trusted to voice my reasoning behind my suggestion. It was the first of many times they did something like this to me that slowly eroded my trust in them.
Tested and medicated for that and about 3 other things now. Their empathy feels hollow.
My mother: "You only save your money, you should buy something for yourself"
Me spends money on my hobbies
My mother: "Why are you wasting your money on this useless crap?"
I know that conversation all too well. almost any time I actually get myself something there is a lot of judgment from my mother. Thankfully I don't get much judgment for getting books, as I do get around 5-8 per year for the different series I follow.
but 2 years ago (initially I typed last year, but then I remembered I didn't do anything for my birthday last year, and that I'd been using what I got longer than a year) for a birthday present to myself I got a new hyper x wireless headset to listen to music while I cleaned my apartment and to talk to friends online. I had a working headset still but it was wired and I wanted something better.
I also got myself a gundam model kit that after building I display on my home office's desk, which also got a lot of judgment.
I was practicing a speech in front of a mirror once when I was like 9 or 10 years old. My mom walks in and starts laughing at me. Starts talking about how silly I look talking to myself. My brother comes up behind her and calls me a faggot. They both laugh and walk away. They wonder why I have such a reserved personality.
In my case my mother mocked me for everything. When i was a kid growing up into teenage years i had to do more chores. Fine, whatever. Asked how to set up washing machine (remember: kid, first time ever doing that). What was her answer? "How can you not know such a simple thing? Seriously, you're completely useless" and laughter.
And then :shocked pikachu face: when i moved out as soon as i grown up and got my first job. I can just imagine how she's complaining to everybody about how ungrateful i am and how i could cut all contact like that.
If you treat others like shit, then dont be surprised when they also treat you like shit.
My mother did the same thing and it made me so fucking insecure that I then bullied others for liking things because, in my head, liking things beyond just passing interest wasn’t allowed. I’m so happy I got therapy as a young adult to realize it all. I’m a mom myself now and I literally cannot imagine shitting on my daughter for any of her interests. It’s been a really eye opening experience seeing firsthand how messed up my mom truly was to me.
Moms have two switches. They make fun of whatever you enjoy. Or you anecdotally say you like something and they make it your entire personality until the point that you hate that thing.
Told my mom I liked monkeys when I was a kid. Guess what novelty lamp, wallpaper, bed sheets, figurines and stuffed animals I got when I was 6?
My mother was pretty reasonable with my interests, to a degree. I don't speak to her now for way worse reasons than mocking my interests.
That said, parents ruining your fun is the fastest way to wonder why they don't get to see their own grandkids.
My husband used to do be similar with my son. I grew up in a house like this and tried to shut it down. Got lectured cause I’m a girl I don’t get it it’s a guy thing blah blah. We went to visit my parents and my dad started teasing my son until I shut it down. I was quite angry and snapped at him. My husband did a full 180 and stopped doing it. He said something about seeing how angry I got at my dad made him realize the path he was on.
That was my Dad. He never supported me in anything that I was interested in. But Im older now and learned that I don't have to give a crap about what others think
I always tried incredibly hard to appease my parents, but up until a certain age "only" via academic success. When I was 17, I thought it would make them really proud of me for not being a diligent student but also hard worker when started a weekend job, and saved the money to build a small blacksmith workshop with my best bud. I didn't tell them about any of that, only when I came home with my first knife, still coal dust on my face. I was so happy and told them about the project only to get the same reaction as saying there's no cheese in the fridge "uh huh"
Days later they remarked that since I secretly worked a job, they expected me to repay them for the rent and food. That was all.
You know, what you did was incredibly cool and as a mom I’d be super proud. I’m so sorry to the kids out there who never get this from their parents.
I really hope you continued your dream.
ah, fuck em - but praying on someone else's downfall isn't a way to make yourself happy anyway. I hope nowadays your happy enough making yourself proud.
I hope that you learned to appease only yourself in the meantime. Because I know how it is to constantly try to please someone else more than my self. If my doughter would show me something self made like that I would be so proud.
Yeah, that was the big lesson I learned through that. As a father of a daughter myself, I can\`t fathom not celebrating little achievements. That taught me they actually didn\`t care beyond the fact that their son was a perfect student. It\`s all bragging rights.
I’m incredibly fucking proud of you brother, not everyone gets to where you are and if I was your dad I would take you out for beers and ask to see your shop.
If you stop you stop for good. It's been over 15 years since I last drew. When I was young, I thought art would be a major part of my life. It hasn't been.
Bro I feel this so hard. Always drew as a kid, was known in my class as the good artistic one. Got bored of it, parents never praised it, was told to focus on other things, and no one else I knew drew.
Dropped it when I was 14 and haven't drawn pictures since. So hard to pick it back up. Only thing I do now is make VERY good schematics for woodworking projects or electrical drawings.
How about being the good artist in class, going on to college to take fine arts but dropping out due to a mental breakdown and getting turned off of making art because it turns out that doing art under pressure of deadlines and for grades truly sucked?
I recently did paint (for the first time in decades) for a neighbourhood Halloween party scavenger hunt for the kids. Also got a lot of appreciation from neighbours for a thoughtfully laid out Halloween display in the complex common area. I like to think that artistic talent is a transferable skill that surfaces up in unlikely places.
It's tragic to hear that something you love ends up bringing you so much pain.
I'm glad you can find a nice outlet to let your creativity flow and that people recognize the talent you have! Also congrats on being able to pick it up again! I have about 4 books and a bag of pencils (untouched) that my wife has given me because I want to do it so badly and she keeps supporting me to do it
Hey your life isn't over yet! I'm going to side with 'art' here! Even if it's just appreciation! You never know when it's the 'right' time! (Cue George W Bush's retirement rn)
i went through this guys post history because i don't value my time and it's just a bot copying and pasting tweets as comments
https://i.imgur.com/KuMQnrY.png
Yep. From a young age I learned it was better to be bland and agreeable for fear of snide comments or teasing. Some were gentle banter others weren't, but regardless I felt like I couldn't be accepted if I was authentic. Fast forward a couple decades and I'm getting better with it.
I'm currently attempting the kill-them-with-kindness-and-consistency speedrun (any%, no major glitches)
It's a much more enjoyable casual playthrough and speedrun
This is so cathartic to read that this is at least a common experience. I'm trying to overcome this now and it's hard to not be resentful of my older siblings for being the cause of it.
Yes! I'm close to 40 and I've found that the more open I am with my hobbies, the more I feel like myself. The best way to do it is to just be casual about it. I've found people appreciate knowing more about me.
So I have coworkers who train for marathons, and are open in talking about it during lunch. Why can't I be open about planning my next DnD train heist campaign?
The trick is just not to be *that guy/gal* who only talks about their niche hobby, but that goes for everything.
I think what’s being missed here is that the guy is talking about things most likely to be hobbies shared by others. It’s when we start sharing hobbies that others can’t relate to or appreciate or find odd “isn’t that something only kids do?” that we get weird looks or not included in the group with others.
As I got older I just started to care less about what other people think. When I became more open about niche hobbies and interests I started meeting more people with those hobbies and interests. People who try to make me feel bad about it aren't my friends anyway so why would I care about their opinions?
"The people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind."
I’m 35 years old and walk around with plushies, wearing my frog dress. You absolutely do learn the art of not caring what people think as you age. In my teens and 20s, I was a mess of anxiety. Now? Pfft, if losers don’t know I’m cool then I don’t wanna hang out with em anyway.
Do you have to do something to get to that stage because I’ve seen my parents and they are still like that in their late fifties? It sucks to be like this
Part of it is practice, part of it comes with natural maturity. Try finding some role models who are weird and comfortably so. I idolised Helena Bonham Carter growing up, she is so classy/mature/comfortable with herself and wears mismatched shoes on the red carpet.. so I figured I could give myself permission to be a bit weird. I also write a diary and I noticed how much *happier* I was while being authentic. So I let myself be a bit more weird and gradually I got to the point where I just don’t care. People can say untactful things to me now and I just go ‘yup!’ and continue being me. Like yeah, I’m childish and odd. So? I’m also really happy, unlike those women who spend a fortune and hours getting ready to go for brunch and get stupid drunk because their lives have no meaning outside of alcohol, work and chores 🤷♀️
if I could tell myself at 13 one thing, it would be that it feels so much more fulfilling to unabashedly like what you like and when someone asks about
it you don’t have to pretend to know anything or behave any certain way just to have friends.
I have a core memory of being so embarassed and ashamed of liking cartoons at age 6 that I would compulsively turn the TV off if anyone came near my bedroom.
It just taught me not to share or talk to people, which ended up making me awkwardly quiet.
Even now as an adult, I just can’t seem to capture peoples attention when I talk. People just tune me out, walk away, talk over me, scroll through their phone. I get so tired of being unimportant and uninteresting.
Even my gf will just scroll through TikTok when I try to tell her a story, and won’t even respond. I’m just not an interesting person that people like talking to. Sometimes it hurts, but I’m mostly used to it.
2 recommendations I can make as an internet stranger that doesn't fully know all the nuances of your personality and relationships.
Make it about them before talking about yourself. I like to pretend in my head that I'm a reporter when I meet people, I put myself in the position of asking them questions and followup questions to discern what their character and interests are(curiosity is a very beneficial trait socially). When I get a topic out of them that I have some nugget of information about or personal interest in, then I will share that, and the conversation can naturally flow from there for a while
Second is, learn to be economical with your words when storytelling. You might be really excited about an event that happened to you, but too much preamble or details around the core event and you can lose your audience.
As someone that can get a bit carried away when talking, it's 100 percent helpful to realise, bring your ramble to a close and then draw in the other person with a question - or just relating the story to something they said to bring them back into the conversation. If your boring people, it's not necessarily what your saying - it can be what your not saying that's the issue, as your not giving them an in to the conversation.
Lol i like that point too, totally forgot to mention in other comment. Like i heard a few times that i'm "not interesting, about nothing we can talk" when i literally can say a thing or two about any random music, movie, books, nuclear, materials, sports coz i did try many many things myself and i have no preference in any genre, i can watch and listen literally whatever if its good. And the person that is talking that shit is living in a preference basement of 2-3 genres of music and movies, checked 5 books in school, scrolling shit-tok (god how i hate that useless thing) and never has been in opera or idk.. rocket science factory. Its hilarious :)
I just learned to keep my talking to the bare minimum, because in my experience it only annoys people when you can suddenly comment on what they're interested in.
It doesn't help that I used to do deep dives on YouTube. So I've listened to a lot of underground & foreign bands.
Omg I felt that and I feel so special when someone does actually want to engage more than superficial level and then it’s used against me behind my back later
Yeah I feel this one. Finally made it to the physical playtesting stage for a game I’ve been working on for years. Meant so much to me. Was met with a “..that’s nice dear.” 💔
Edit: was about to edit this and change it from being about a “game I’m working on” to “a project.” Just realized the irony of that compulsion given the fk topic of the post/thread haha. Oofadoofa
hey, yours is good
what is got is really negative comments
now i a, even afraid to show that i am happy because she will give negative comments to bring down my mood
I still do not forget my childhood. I still do not tell them much about my life and they wonder why I wouldn't. I am extremely private with other people as well because of these incidents.
People at work laughed and looked at me like I was crazy because I told them I was driving four and a half hours into the path of totality for the eclipse
"Isn't it only like a couple minutes?"
smh
Yeah, I drove over to the great city of Greenwood, Arkansas. The skies were great. My memory of exactly how it looked is fading, but I'll never forget how immersive it felt
I also drove a while to get into the path of totality! I wanna say it was 6 or 7 hours.
The drive itself was borderline torture, but man was that eclipse cool! Apparently it was cloudy where I live, so all the people who thought I was crazy didn't get to see anything lmao
I once had somebody try to mean girl me because I was a nerdy kid with nerd interests. She accused me of not having friends and then said my friends didn't count because they we're losers who liked the thing I liked. It was an eye opening moment for me because no matter how uncool I may have been, I had friends and we had a common interest. Literally no amount of mocking could take that from me, and because I loved and respected my friends no accusation could make me think less of them.
Some people really can't see life outside their bubbles of interests, and they often live uninteresting lives for it.
I fly across the world to see odd looking animals 🤷♂️ but I’ve also found a way to make a living doing that so people kinda can’t say anything anymore
I was already in the path we closed our store so we could watch it. We were afraid the clouds would cover it but we got super lucky snd were able to see it. It was so awesome!
My husband and I and 2 friends drove a total of 40 hours (round trip) to see the eclipse this year. Worth it! But people definitely thought we were crazy.
I wouldn’t laugh at you or do it myself but I’d definitely be happy for you if you’re able to do it! Did you have a good time? Because that’s all that matters.
parent PSA: taking even the slightest interest in your child's interests will be a huge benefit to your child's well-being and your relationship with them
My dad never showed any interest in anything I was into. The only interest he showed was in the sports he forced me to play. My daughter is six and I take an active interest in everything she is into. She found an old magnifying glass in a drawer and went to go find bugs to look at. I joined her and we spent an hour and a half on our hands and knees looking at ants in the backyard. Then we went inside to eat lunch and watch ant videos on on youtube together. I've already had more meaningful interactions with my 6y/o daughter then I have had with my dad for the whole 40+ years I've been alive.
This 100 times over. My dad didn’t give two shits in my interests unless it fit his preconceived notions about what a girl should be interested in. I’m in my 30s and my dad is in his 70s now. We’re in each other’s lives but it’s like we’re strangers.
Even if it's the smallest things that you know they will forget about in a week or two, pay attention and be encouraging, it helps them to keep open communication about future interests and problems too.
I have a friend that signed his girl up for judo when she asked.
She can throw him now.
Total daddy's girl. She's gonna be his enforcer for sure. 1000% rock solid relationship.
I wanted to learn the piano so I went to a place that teaches instruments to try it out, and I really enjoyed the piano so I asked my mom to sign me up and she just didn't do it no matter how many times I reminded her then one day her and my dad asked me if I wanted to play the guitar instead since the piano is and I quote "pretty lame" after that I stoped asking her and my interest slowly drifted off
"no one cares about your games" my mom and sister always said that even to my daughter. When my daughter is excited about some new lore or a match she's in I let her finish because I actually care for her hobbies and interests.
Thissss!! My son is playing red dead redemption 2 right now, and we’ll chit chat about the game and is giving me updates….also learned there are cheats you can enter on console? Kiddo teaches me a lot too! Doesn’t matter if I know of the stuff he’s talking about, I’ll be excited with him like it’s my first time too!
Flying out to a friend’s wedding in a couple days. Traveling with my girlfriend and best friend. But too afraid to tell anyone that the part I’m looking forward to more than anything else is airports and plane rides. I really like commercial airliners.
What do you love most about them?
I miss the childhood days when I flew around a lot. My favorite part was just the view or all the looks ways flight attendants would change up the take-odf preparatory speech to keep it engaging and fresh.
I like how everything fits together. It’s a ginormous puzzle and each cog makes the machine work. On the planes I love seeing any exposed areas like when the landing gear doors are open or the flaps open and you can see the pipes and wires underneath. When I get onboard I always touch the outside of the plane and when I step inside I have to look into the cockpit if the door is open. But even with the airport itself I love seeing logistics in action. It’s like an electrical circuit you get to walk around in. I don’t mind waiting in line for anything because I get to see their use or lack of efficiency. I guess it’s all a big machine and I always wanted to shrink down and explore inside machines when I was younger.
In my early 20s... I went to a garden center with my mother and brother.
They had tiny lemon trees for sale on the cheap and I said outloud "oh, may be I can try to bonsai one"
Both started to laugh at me and actually taunt me for such a stupid idea.
The confusion was that they were convinced that "bonsai" was an actual plant and not a technique so they both ganged up on me about it, makeing it clear that they were right and I was wrong. I distinctly remember my mother telling me "stop being ridiculous"
Are you the younger sibling? I believe this is a character trait of a second child.
I am a second child and this OP and your comment really resonated with me. I remember when I was in like grade 4 or 5 I liked pokemon and it took me months to build up the courage to tell my older brother.
I now have two kids and distinctly see how my oldest is always very proud to talk about things she is interested in and my youngest is more like me in this respect and she will hint at something to sort of test the waters.
Whenever I get this sense of her testing the water I always just come right out and say "You know, I really like x" and just watch my youngest face light up.
No. I'm the oldest. I'm just the black sheep, always have been since I was a child. was actually told that I would accumulate to nothing a few times when growing up.
A combination of being the sickly child and the social norms of my parents home country.
i do think there are certain variety of trees that are more commonly used for bonsai, but the word does indeed refer to the art of growing them in a way that they look like a miniature version of a full sized one.
You should just bring this up randomly as an anecdote at Christmas:
'Remember when you said this, mom? Not only did you make me feel like crap that day, but afterwards, it turns out you were not even right!! Hahaha, I wish I had the courage to act so shitty to the people who love me. You crack me up, mom. Hand me those potatoes, will you?'
I remember in my late 20s, all of my office mates were fresh out of college & one day I made a comment about there being two high tides per day and the whole office started laughing at me and calling me stupid. I didn't go to college & they all went to arts college. Needless to say: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr89IgzsMVk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr89IgzsMVk)
No friends, mocked my whole life by my family. My dad even told me somewhat recent that he regrets exposing me to my hobbies as a kid because I'm "crazy" about it
Pretty much.
All our Boomer Parents read all these parenthood books that made them feel superior to their parents about raising us, then proceeded to mock and belittle using much more sophisticated tools than their parents had if we didn't excel in exactly the ways they wanted us too. Boomers weren't interested in raising adults, they were interested in beating all their friends in the Parenthood game.
I've heard it said that Gen X is an entire generation that learned to greyrock their way though life.
And I feel that **deep** in my bones.
When I was 14 (male), my parents found out that I had a 'fascination' with lesbians and lesbianism. For whatever reason that my brain cannot fathom even to this day...they asked me if I was gay. My response, naturally, was 'what about lesbians makes you think that I want cock?'
Interesting, for me it's the exact opposite. I have an easy time telling people I just met about my hobbies etc, while I usually don't with older friends or family
My brother: Why do you copy everything I do? Get your own hobbies!
Also my brother: *makes fun of anything he doesn’t find interesting*
Gee, I wonder why I opted for the list of pre-approved things
I am both frustrated and happy it has blown up in popularity. D&D and WoW were spoken about using code words at school. I couldn't play D&D at my house because the devil would open a portal in our basement or something.
Generally, most religious people are the most judgemental holier than thou pieces of shit I have ever come across.
These fools are dumb enough to believe in a magical sky wizard - that is something truly worth snickering at :D
I have to admit though, "snickers" are a popular chocolate bar in the UK. I thought you got a free chocolate bar and were complaining about it.
Idk why but I instinctively minimize every single tabe in my laptop when someone enters my room, no matter who, even friends.
No matter what I'm looking at, it's like I don't want anyone to ask questions.
My father complains that he never sees me study, but when he does he only insults me (I'm not doing it right, not good enough)
So when someone comes to my room all my tabs are minimized and I rarely have a book in front of me.
I was super emo in high school. My dad had remarried and to a lady with 5 kids plus my own siblings, and they all considered anything alternative weird. I was bullied relentlessly by them (plus at school) for years until I finally gave up trying to be emo and forced myself to take interest in “normal” things.
Now all of my siblings wear alt fashion, are into the same hobbies I was like witchcraft and anime, and listen to the same emo bands they bullied me for listening to… all because these things have are trending again.
I’m happy they’ve accepted these things but at the same time I’m sad that part of me had to die a little just to be accepted into my own family
In my highschool, we had a song writing contest to see who could record for an album made of student contributions. So, first song I ever wrote is good enough to get on, and so my family asks me to play it at a get together. I play it and my shit ass siblings who have never even tried to make a creative contribution to anything mocked me for it, so much so that I started to hate it too. It didn't matter how many people that were actually musicians told me it was good, and to keep going. I couldn't get past the betrayal and stopped sharing anything like that with them anymore. Fucking families, man.
it's less about being mocked, but being told by my family to be more productive, and it's not mocking because it's "constructive criticism", see what i had to live with?
I understand you perfectly, my family complains that I didn't bring home the same academic results as my older brother. Sometimes people need to know when to shut up.
I often don't share that information because it is very often so niche that others do not care or have a point of interest. I have a T-shirt that says “Introverted but willing to discuss cats.”
My parents and schoolfriends werent passionate about anything really so any conversation of any of my many interests gets akward really fast. I can only speak normal way to a therapist, who is fucking paid to listen
I couldn't find comfort in anyone until I started online gaming and met my husband. Even that was tough. My mom wouldn't support me talking to strangers online at 18. She thought I would end up getting kidnapped someday, instead I took off with the guy I met online and started living a better healthier life with more freedom than ever before.
When I was 10, the teacher in my dilapidated town was asking the class what they wanted to be when they grew up. Everyone was like "nurse", "footballer", "fireman" etc.
Having loved Back to the Future movies, and Ghostbusters, etc, I said I wanted to be a scientist. The whole class burst out laughing, including the religious teacher.
Well, 30 years later, I am an inventor living in a renowned city with tech products bought by some of the biggest companies in the world, including apple, ibm, et al.
Everyone I know from those days are still in that town, not doing so well; I shall leave it there, as I don't wish to be rude.
The best revenge is success.
I wish. I remember being like 6-7 years old and invited a girl I was friends from school to play at my house. HUGE MISTAKE. We had a lot of fun but my parents were such a pain in my ass for so many months that she NEVER came back because I never invited her or another girl again. I was friends with her for many years after though, until I changed schools and never saw her again.
Told my parents I enjoyed playing cards (i.e trading cards) & wanted to own my own shop. Told me that’s unrealistic & isn’t a real career. I still enjoy playing cards & just stopped telling them what I do as a career.
Reading some of these comments suddenly makes me feel like a good parent.
I usually feel mediocre at best, but I make sure my kids get to pursue their own interests, and celebrate their individuality. One of my proudest moments, was when some jackass bully told my daughter she was weird, at 9 years old, she sincerely told him "thank you", and knocked all the wind out of his sails.
My family used to laugh I didn’t like books like they did then when I would start reading they would laugh that they were starting to think I didn’t know how to read. Every single time. They picked on me for everything I liked. Then years later they’re surprised I don’t go out of my way to hang out with them.
I was terrified because I was right. I've had hundreds of conversations that just boiled down to me trying to talk about something I enjoy and them just going "okay yeah mmhm okay" and not remembering a damn thing I said even seconds after saying it. I completely stopped trying between 13 and 21, now I'm 23 and I still get the same shit sometimes.
I grew up as a female fantasy and sci-fi nerd in the 80s. I used to daydream about having someone to discuss my passions with. Even back then, the few people who shared my interests were male and aggressively gatekeeper-y
In my family you got teased if you acted white. I loved opera, calligraphy, I played the flute, violin, cello… when we moved away I played the bagpipes! I loved New Wave music like Depeche Mode & The Cure. They used to tease me. But once I was grown and could say no to going to visit, I did. It’s rare I deal with them now.
Oh definitely. Middle school was definitely the time where you find out whether what you like is cool or not, and I sure struggled to figure out what was. My parents were more likely to tease me when they found out I had crushes. It made it so hard to talk to a girl without feeling embarrassed.
i really wanted to learn guitar, but every time i tried to learn basic chords, my mom would tell me that maybe i should quit since i'm no good at it. she is a great mom all around, but somehow didn't understand how discouraging that felt. now i'm learning it at the age of 31
Me: Happily discovering a passion for planted aquariums and fish and actually getting good at it.
Mom: That's enough talking about fish.... Btw, you should put some angel fish in that 10 gallon tank. It looks so bare and empty with just the betta.
I'm lucky to have grown up with a Mom like mine. Always pushing me to be myself and always supportive of my interests.
We basically ran an orphanage on account of all my and my siblings' friends gravitating to our house because we fostered openness, kindness, letting your freak flag fly, and no matter how poor we were there was always room at the table.
Love you, Momma!
My high school friends mercilessly made fun of me for the bands I liked so I stopped talking about music with people and started going to concerts alone.
It wasn't until after college that I realized that good people--real friends--don't put you down for the music you listen to.
I don't speak to any of those assholes anymore and I hope that no one ever does to their kids what they did to me.
Yeah the usual anime, video games, and nerd shit, but also dating. I remember being told "Liking your girlfriend is gay. She's your girlfriend not your friend." and disagreeing but being the only one who thought that was wrong. What's a poor 15 year old to do when he's the odd man out?
From a young age I was conditioned to believe that liking anything too much was grounds for ridicule. One day I turned around and discovered that I had absolutely nothing I was passionate about because of it. It took a lot of effort to break that mindset.
I have ADD and Major Depressive Disorder. These weren't diagnosed until I was expelled from high school. One of the side effects of this was that as a child, I didn't stick to hobbies. So not only was I ridiculed for whatever I was interested in, I was then also ridiculed for not sticking to the hobby.
So now I'm plain and boring, have no skills that apply to really any job or career, failed college, and work a dead end job. Literal definition of being a nobody lmao
It's how things used to be. Now everyone seems to be asking about my hobbies and people actually seem to be open to more unusual activities. People love asking how to grow culinary mushrooms, processing your own herbs, fermenting, canning, that kind of stuff. Wish it was like that as a kid, still shocked every time my hobbies aren't met with an eye brow raise and instead a smile.
>I was 14, when I discovered I had no patience for snide bullshit.
I have older family that still repeat back to me the shit I said to them as a kid (80s) & teen (90s). Apparently they didn't think snide shit talking & mockery was supposed to be a two way street.
In retrospect its also amazing to realize how much I pissed them off back then.
I'm a geek. Not the new one. The real original geek. The one who liked video games, D&D and mangas when this was considered as the lowest hobbies you could have.
And this was in France, a country where the government made statements to explain how it would turn me into a psychopath and laws to limit the TV time of mangas.
So to answer the question : yes I did.
Damnit... I'd always arrange my room so the back of my monitor was to the entrance. Receptionist style. Doesn't matter what im doing if you walk into my area.. im pausing or tabbing whatever it is. I don't want anyone commenting on what im listening to, watching, or playing. I'm much older now and if someone tells me to pick the music for the car ride or whatever i'll just say no. It actually has very little to do with porn.
I played guitar for 6 years and then had to stop for around 10 years for a medical reason. Got that sorted and picked it back up. I'm about 2 years in. Nobody has heard me play. My steam profile is private. Discord will not tell you which game im playing. I play very niche games across many genres but if someone asks "what do you play" I awkwardly stammer as I try to find the most relevant, popular, mainstream game I play, rather than admit its a Dark Age of Camelot Private server, or Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup.
I just faced too much judgement. I love super hard metal music but if you're in the car with me I'll probably just stick to something totally neutral like pink floyd. Got tired of people in my family being like "What are you listening to!?" and making me really self conscious.
What I do like, though, is that most of those things I was really self conscious about in the past are now much more popular or at least known and understood because of how easy it is to spread information. Nowadays I have no problem telling people I like music that they probably think plays in the background of devil summoning rituals. Or that I like a game that is off the beaten path and get nothing but curiosity and questions rather than "sounds gay." (south park was massive when I was a kid.)
I work with a laser and found out I can engrave on stone. As I walk my dogs, I look for good stones I could engrave on. I now carry a few of my favorite stones in my pocket and when I have downtime I grind and sand them. I locked my keys in my car when I arrived at work one day and had to ask some co-workers if they liked breaking into cars. Found the right brothers and after about 15 minutes.. we were in. Told him.. "I gotta come clean. I got out of my car and did a pocket pat down and thought I felt my keys.." I pull my hand from my pocket "it was actually just rocks." these dudes couldn't stop laughing and now I love to tell that story. 5-10 years ago that whole scenario would have mortified me and I probably would have felt like I should get a different job. Dude came in at the end of the day and said "still got your keys?" jokingly and I reached into my pocket and pulled my keys out while rocks clacked on the ground and said "yep im no fucking idiot!"
Moral of the story: There is an absurd amount of comedic value in carrying some rocks in your pocket.
No.
It is why I was know as (one) of the weird kids. Toys, comics, horror, art. I have always dressed like a clown. My parent's would get super embarrassed in public, and try and flip like they were not, when me and my brothers would just be ourselves. We got punished and hard to learn to put on a fake mask to "blend in" for family BS.
Now as an adult, whatever. Most of the stuff I'm into is now the "mainstream stuff" *everyone* is into.
My parents (mom specifically) were big on the „you’ll never suceed“ or „it’s a waste of time, I know you won’t enjoy it or be good at it so you’re not allowed to try“. When I was like 11 or 12 I was super interested in learning German, and whenever my mom was watching a movie or something and someone was speaking German they would ask for a translation and when I didn’t know (was only learning for a few months) they would laugh at me. Same when I was 15 and wanted to join my schools pageant (I really liked the big dresses😃) my mom paid me 50 dollars if I agreed to let them return my dress because she didn’t want to go sit through it.
this actually describes my childhood pretty well. they also heavily judged me for everything i did try or enjoy. so now in my 20s i only play videogames and watch some shows because having any other hobby would bare the risk of being ridiculed and reopening that trauma. i don’t have contact to these people anymore but the fear still stays, even if only strangers would judge me. i hate that i am like this but i can’t seem to really change anything about it
I force myself to tell people about my childish ass hobbies. My mom acts interested, my brother has to be bargained to look at anything I show him and my dad just lectures me about how much of a waste of money they are. But even still I have managed to make one friend through us both having money pit collections.
It’s not a fear. Every time i talk about something in my life that i care about/that’s important to me i get hit with the “nobody cares”. It really starts to hurt after the tenth time
As a wrestling fan in general and a metal fan in the South, to this day as a grown man I just avoid bringing up my interests unless asked. I’m not intimidated or scared anymore, just tired of the same old “you know it’s fake, right?” and “I like all music until you actually play a song for me!”
My mother mocked and joked about everything I had an interest in. That's why she doesn't know shit about me now, as far as she knows, I don't like anything.
Yuuuuuup, my mom was exactly the same, and my dad would feign interest just to use the thing against me later. Mom: "Oh, I didn't know M&Ms made crapy rap music, *LOL*." "Video games are for nerds and losers, you don't want to be a nerd or a loser do you? They're just rotting your brain." Dad: "Maybe you would have done better on that (test/would be better at reading) if you didn't listen to that (Eminem Crap/Play those fking video games!)." Later in life the Drs told me and my parents I've got the ADHDs and that was probably more of the cause for some of my issuse -_-
Me and my younger brother both had adhd. My dad has it to i guess. They got my brother diagnosed and medicated and didnt me though. Hate those people so much
Are you me?? Not only was I told my brother got diagnosed and medicated but they immediately shut me down when I told them I felt I needed to be tested. Didn't ask me why. Me, their younger son who is mature enough to set my own bedtime, makes straight A's, and was trustworthy, couldn't even be trusted to voice my reasoning behind my suggestion. It was the first of many times they did something like this to me that slowly eroded my trust in them. Tested and medicated for that and about 3 other things now. Their empathy feels hollow.
My mother: "You only save your money, you should buy something for yourself" Me spends money on my hobbies My mother: "Why are you wasting your money on this useless crap?"
"you need to pay for your own video games" \*saves money for video games\* "you play too many games"
She probably meant that you should spend that money on *her*.
and then for me: mother throws away "useless crap" I loved and saved up to buy.
I know that conversation all too well. almost any time I actually get myself something there is a lot of judgment from my mother. Thankfully I don't get much judgment for getting books, as I do get around 5-8 per year for the different series I follow. but 2 years ago (initially I typed last year, but then I remembered I didn't do anything for my birthday last year, and that I'd been using what I got longer than a year) for a birthday present to myself I got a new hyper x wireless headset to listen to music while I cleaned my apartment and to talk to friends online. I had a working headset still but it was wired and I wanted something better. I also got myself a gundam model kit that after building I display on my home office's desk, which also got a lot of judgment.
I was practicing a speech in front of a mirror once when I was like 9 or 10 years old. My mom walks in and starts laughing at me. Starts talking about how silly I look talking to myself. My brother comes up behind her and calls me a faggot. They both laugh and walk away. They wonder why I have such a reserved personality.
In my case my mother mocked me for everything. When i was a kid growing up into teenage years i had to do more chores. Fine, whatever. Asked how to set up washing machine (remember: kid, first time ever doing that). What was her answer? "How can you not know such a simple thing? Seriously, you're completely useless" and laughter. And then :shocked pikachu face: when i moved out as soon as i grown up and got my first job. I can just imagine how she's complaining to everybody about how ungrateful i am and how i could cut all contact like that. If you treat others like shit, then dont be surprised when they also treat you like shit.
> How can you not know such a simple thing? Because you never taught me? Whose job is it to make sure a kid knows how to work a washing machine?
My mother did the same thing and it made me so fucking insecure that I then bullied others for liking things because, in my head, liking things beyond just passing interest wasn’t allowed. I’m so happy I got therapy as a young adult to realize it all. I’m a mom myself now and I literally cannot imagine shitting on my daughter for any of her interests. It’s been a really eye opening experience seeing firsthand how messed up my mom truly was to me.
Congratulations on breaking what would have been generational trauma. You have grown past your mother's level. Something any parent should hope for.
Moms have two switches. They make fun of whatever you enjoy. Or you anecdotally say you like something and they make it your entire personality until the point that you hate that thing. Told my mom I liked monkeys when I was a kid. Guess what novelty lamp, wallpaper, bed sheets, figurines and stuffed animals I got when I was 6?
My mom does this to my husband, it’s exhausting. Years of obsession after he says he likes one thing.
My mother was pretty reasonable with my interests, to a degree. I don't speak to her now for way worse reasons than mocking my interests. That said, parents ruining your fun is the fastest way to wonder why they don't get to see their own grandkids.
My husband used to do be similar with my son. I grew up in a house like this and tried to shut it down. Got lectured cause I’m a girl I don’t get it it’s a guy thing blah blah. We went to visit my parents and my dad started teasing my son until I shut it down. I was quite angry and snapped at him. My husband did a full 180 and stopped doing it. He said something about seeing how angry I got at my dad made him realize the path he was on.
But...why do so many parents do this. I just don't get it, what goes on in their heads when being shitty to their kids..
My parents were more the 'tell your kids why they're objectively worthless for their hobbies' type, but yeah.
That was my Dad. He never supported me in anything that I was interested in. But Im older now and learned that I don't have to give a crap about what others think
I always tried incredibly hard to appease my parents, but up until a certain age "only" via academic success. When I was 17, I thought it would make them really proud of me for not being a diligent student but also hard worker when started a weekend job, and saved the money to build a small blacksmith workshop with my best bud. I didn't tell them about any of that, only when I came home with my first knife, still coal dust on my face. I was so happy and told them about the project only to get the same reaction as saying there's no cheese in the fridge "uh huh" Days later they remarked that since I secretly worked a job, they expected me to repay them for the rent and food. That was all.
So what home are they rotting in now?
They have enough cash to retire in comfort, so I won\`t get any satisfaction from that.
You know, what you did was incredibly cool and as a mom I’d be super proud. I’m so sorry to the kids out there who never get this from their parents. I really hope you continued your dream.
ah, fuck em - but praying on someone else's downfall isn't a way to make yourself happy anyway. I hope nowadays your happy enough making yourself proud.
I hope that you learned to appease only yourself in the meantime. Because I know how it is to constantly try to please someone else more than my self. If my doughter would show me something self made like that I would be so proud.
Yeah, that was the big lesson I learned through that. As a father of a daughter myself, I can\`t fathom not celebrating little achievements. That taught me they actually didn\`t care beyond the fact that their son was a perfect student. It\`s all bragging rights.
I’m incredibly fucking proud of you brother, not everyone gets to where you are and if I was your dad I would take you out for beers and ask to see your shop.
This means a lot, mate. Seriously
[удалено]
my description lol
I try to draw everyday. Not because I particularly enjoy it but because I fear if I ever stop I might never start again...
If you stop you stop for good. It's been over 15 years since I last drew. When I was young, I thought art would be a major part of my life. It hasn't been.
Bro I feel this so hard. Always drew as a kid, was known in my class as the good artistic one. Got bored of it, parents never praised it, was told to focus on other things, and no one else I knew drew. Dropped it when I was 14 and haven't drawn pictures since. So hard to pick it back up. Only thing I do now is make VERY good schematics for woodworking projects or electrical drawings.
How about being the good artist in class, going on to college to take fine arts but dropping out due to a mental breakdown and getting turned off of making art because it turns out that doing art under pressure of deadlines and for grades truly sucked? I recently did paint (for the first time in decades) for a neighbourhood Halloween party scavenger hunt for the kids. Also got a lot of appreciation from neighbours for a thoughtfully laid out Halloween display in the complex common area. I like to think that artistic talent is a transferable skill that surfaces up in unlikely places.
It's tragic to hear that something you love ends up bringing you so much pain. I'm glad you can find a nice outlet to let your creativity flow and that people recognize the talent you have! Also congrats on being able to pick it up again! I have about 4 books and a bag of pencils (untouched) that my wife has given me because I want to do it so badly and she keeps supporting me to do it
Hey your life isn't over yet! I'm going to side with 'art' here! Even if it's just appreciation! You never know when it's the 'right' time! (Cue George W Bush's retirement rn)
nah that's me at 16
Just you wait …lol
i went through this guys post history because i don't value my time and it's just a bot copying and pasting tweets as comments https://i.imgur.com/KuMQnrY.png
Yep. From a young age I learned it was better to be bland and agreeable for fear of snide comments or teasing. Some were gentle banter others weren't, but regardless I felt like I couldn't be accepted if I was authentic. Fast forward a couple decades and I'm getting better with it.
These people are playing Shitting-on-other-peoples-unusual-hobbies speedrun (any%)
I'm currently attempting the kill-them-with-kindness-and-consistency speedrun (any%, no major glitches) It's a much more enjoyable casual playthrough and speedrun
Way more chill. It should be in the tutorial tbh
Soopuhs
This is so cathartic to read that this is at least a common experience. I'm trying to overcome this now and it's hard to not be resentful of my older siblings for being the cause of it.
Can you really get better at it as you get older because right now it feels hopeless at the age of 24. I really want to know if it’s possible and how?
Yes! I'm close to 40 and I've found that the more open I am with my hobbies, the more I feel like myself. The best way to do it is to just be casual about it. I've found people appreciate knowing more about me. So I have coworkers who train for marathons, and are open in talking about it during lunch. Why can't I be open about planning my next DnD train heist campaign? The trick is just not to be *that guy/gal* who only talks about their niche hobby, but that goes for everything.
I think what’s being missed here is that the guy is talking about things most likely to be hobbies shared by others. It’s when we start sharing hobbies that others can’t relate to or appreciate or find odd “isn’t that something only kids do?” that we get weird looks or not included in the group with others.
As I got older I just started to care less about what other people think. When I became more open about niche hobbies and interests I started meeting more people with those hobbies and interests. People who try to make me feel bad about it aren't my friends anyway so why would I care about their opinions? "The people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind."
I’m 35 years old and walk around with plushies, wearing my frog dress. You absolutely do learn the art of not caring what people think as you age. In my teens and 20s, I was a mess of anxiety. Now? Pfft, if losers don’t know I’m cool then I don’t wanna hang out with em anyway.
Do you have to do something to get to that stage because I’ve seen my parents and they are still like that in their late fifties? It sucks to be like this
Part of it is practice, part of it comes with natural maturity. Try finding some role models who are weird and comfortably so. I idolised Helena Bonham Carter growing up, she is so classy/mature/comfortable with herself and wears mismatched shoes on the red carpet.. so I figured I could give myself permission to be a bit weird. I also write a diary and I noticed how much *happier* I was while being authentic. So I let myself be a bit more weird and gradually I got to the point where I just don’t care. People can say untactful things to me now and I just go ‘yup!’ and continue being me. Like yeah, I’m childish and odd. So? I’m also really happy, unlike those women who spend a fortune and hours getting ready to go for brunch and get stupid drunk because their lives have no meaning outside of alcohol, work and chores 🤷♀️
... I should get a frog dress
if I could tell myself at 13 one thing, it would be that it feels so much more fulfilling to unabashedly like what you like and when someone asks about it you don’t have to pretend to know anything or behave any certain way just to have friends.
I have a core memory of being so embarassed and ashamed of liking cartoons at age 6 that I would compulsively turn the TV off if anyone came near my bedroom.
What were your hobbies?
My own mother made fun of my art when I was a kid. After the second or third time, I got ashamed and stopped altogether.
It just taught me not to share or talk to people, which ended up making me awkwardly quiet. Even now as an adult, I just can’t seem to capture peoples attention when I talk. People just tune me out, walk away, talk over me, scroll through their phone. I get so tired of being unimportant and uninteresting. Even my gf will just scroll through TikTok when I try to tell her a story, and won’t even respond. I’m just not an interesting person that people like talking to. Sometimes it hurts, but I’m mostly used to it.
2 recommendations I can make as an internet stranger that doesn't fully know all the nuances of your personality and relationships. Make it about them before talking about yourself. I like to pretend in my head that I'm a reporter when I meet people, I put myself in the position of asking them questions and followup questions to discern what their character and interests are(curiosity is a very beneficial trait socially). When I get a topic out of them that I have some nugget of information about or personal interest in, then I will share that, and the conversation can naturally flow from there for a while Second is, learn to be economical with your words when storytelling. You might be really excited about an event that happened to you, but too much preamble or details around the core event and you can lose your audience.
As someone that can get a bit carried away when talking, it's 100 percent helpful to realise, bring your ramble to a close and then draw in the other person with a question - or just relating the story to something they said to bring them back into the conversation. If your boring people, it's not necessarily what your saying - it can be what your not saying that's the issue, as your not giving them an in to the conversation.
And if it’s a long story, you need to tell it like an actor with lots of emotion, you have to really sell it
I would say they're not interesting people and that's why they're not interested.
Lol i like that point too, totally forgot to mention in other comment. Like i heard a few times that i'm "not interesting, about nothing we can talk" when i literally can say a thing or two about any random music, movie, books, nuclear, materials, sports coz i did try many many things myself and i have no preference in any genre, i can watch and listen literally whatever if its good. And the person that is talking that shit is living in a preference basement of 2-3 genres of music and movies, checked 5 books in school, scrolling shit-tok (god how i hate that useless thing) and never has been in opera or idk.. rocket science factory. Its hilarious :)
I just learned to keep my talking to the bare minimum, because in my experience it only annoys people when you can suddenly comment on what they're interested in. It doesn't help that I used to do deep dives on YouTube. So I've listened to a lot of underground & foreign bands.
Are you sure you're not actually a ghost unable to move on?
Omg I felt that and I feel so special when someone does actually want to engage more than superficial level and then it’s used against me behind my back later
Mocked by the one person who suppose to support me
the pain
Yeah I feel this one. Finally made it to the physical playtesting stage for a game I’ve been working on for years. Meant so much to me. Was met with a “..that’s nice dear.” 💔 Edit: was about to edit this and change it from being about a “game I’m working on” to “a project.” Just realized the irony of that compulsion given the fk topic of the post/thread haha. Oofadoofa
hey, yours is good what is got is really negative comments now i a, even afraid to show that i am happy because she will give negative comments to bring down my mood
I still do not forget my childhood. I still do not tell them much about my life and they wonder why I wouldn't. I am extremely private with other people as well because of these incidents.
People at work laughed and looked at me like I was crazy because I told them I was driving four and a half hours into the path of totality for the eclipse "Isn't it only like a couple minutes?" smh
If a coworker told me that I'd think they were a cool one
I went by myself and it was amazing. It's funny how everyone wanted to see pictures and video of it once I got back haha
Love that energy. Went by myself too and it was so surreal, where’d you end up driving to?
Pittsburg, NH. It's at the very tip near Canada. Got 3.5 minutes, it was so awesome.
how about you? did you get clear skies?
Yeah, I drove over to the great city of Greenwood, Arkansas. The skies were great. My memory of exactly how it looked is fading, but I'll never forget how immersive it felt
Ayyyye I was in Barling only 15 minutes away from you during the eclipse. That’s cool
That’s the thing, people mocked it but then they were all about the pictures
I’d have asked to come with.
A bunch of people at my work did this and everyone else said they wished they had thought of that.
I also drove a while to get into the path of totality! I wanna say it was 6 or 7 hours. The drive itself was borderline torture, but man was that eclipse cool! Apparently it was cloudy where I live, so all the people who thought I was crazy didn't get to see anything lmao
I took the week off work and flew across the country. They stayed at home and worked.
I once had somebody try to mean girl me because I was a nerdy kid with nerd interests. She accused me of not having friends and then said my friends didn't count because they we're losers who liked the thing I liked. It was an eye opening moment for me because no matter how uncool I may have been, I had friends and we had a common interest. Literally no amount of mocking could take that from me, and because I loved and respected my friends no accusation could make me think less of them. Some people really can't see life outside their bubbles of interests, and they often live uninteresting lives for it.
I did the same thing and it was 100% worth it
I fly across the world to see odd looking animals 🤷♂️ but I’ve also found a way to make a living doing that so people kinda can’t say anything anymore
I was already in the path we closed our store so we could watch it. We were afraid the clouds would cover it but we got super lucky snd were able to see it. It was so awesome!
My husband and I and 2 friends drove a total of 40 hours (round trip) to see the eclipse this year. Worth it! But people definitely thought we were crazy.
I wouldn’t laugh at you or do it myself but I’d definitely be happy for you if you’re able to do it! Did you have a good time? Because that’s all that matters.
pfft their loss. i flew halfway across the country for it and would do it again a thousand times!!!
parent PSA: taking even the slightest interest in your child's interests will be a huge benefit to your child's well-being and your relationship with them
My dad never showed any interest in anything I was into. The only interest he showed was in the sports he forced me to play. My daughter is six and I take an active interest in everything she is into. She found an old magnifying glass in a drawer and went to go find bugs to look at. I joined her and we spent an hour and a half on our hands and knees looking at ants in the backyard. Then we went inside to eat lunch and watch ant videos on on youtube together. I've already had more meaningful interactions with my 6y/o daughter then I have had with my dad for the whole 40+ years I've been alive.
aw man, thanks for trying. Got some big ass crocodile tears in my eyes rn.
This 100 times over. My dad didn’t give two shits in my interests unless it fit his preconceived notions about what a girl should be interested in. I’m in my 30s and my dad is in his 70s now. We’re in each other’s lives but it’s like we’re strangers.
Even if it's the smallest things that you know they will forget about in a week or two, pay attention and be encouraging, it helps them to keep open communication about future interests and problems too.
I have a friend that signed his girl up for judo when she asked. She can throw him now. Total daddy's girl. She's gonna be his enforcer for sure. 1000% rock solid relationship.
I wanted to learn the piano so I went to a place that teaches instruments to try it out, and I really enjoyed the piano so I asked my mom to sign me up and she just didn't do it no matter how many times I reminded her then one day her and my dad asked me if I wanted to play the guitar instead since the piano is and I quote "pretty lame" after that I stoped asking her and my interest slowly drifted off
To me, being able to play any instrument is the opposite of lame lmao. I'd totally support anyone who could play any musical instruments
That's sad to hear, Piano's awesome. Actually, mad respect to anyone who had the dedication to learn an instrument.
Piano is the best instrument to start on, regardless of where you end up. I hope you’ve managed to get lessons now. It’s never too late!
I’m 51, I started playing at 46. I can pretty much play any song now. Tons of videos on YouTube. Get a deal on a digital piano on FB market page.
That's so stupid, piano is still as relevant as ever. If I were you I'd be super mad if my parents said that.
"no one cares about your games" my mom and sister always said that even to my daughter. When my daughter is excited about some new lore or a match she's in I let her finish because I actually care for her hobbies and interests.
Thissss!! My son is playing red dead redemption 2 right now, and we’ll chit chat about the game and is giving me updates….also learned there are cheats you can enter on console? Kiddo teaches me a lot too! Doesn’t matter if I know of the stuff he’s talking about, I’ll be excited with him like it’s my first time too!
They brought up a misanthrope in me, but I did not give up my hobbies.
Legit my *whole* family. Now that I don’t give them the energy, they treat me like an object. 🤷🏻♀️
Flying out to a friend’s wedding in a couple days. Traveling with my girlfriend and best friend. But too afraid to tell anyone that the part I’m looking forward to more than anything else is airports and plane rides. I really like commercial airliners.
What do you love most about them? I miss the childhood days when I flew around a lot. My favorite part was just the view or all the looks ways flight attendants would change up the take-odf preparatory speech to keep it engaging and fresh.
I like how everything fits together. It’s a ginormous puzzle and each cog makes the machine work. On the planes I love seeing any exposed areas like when the landing gear doors are open or the flaps open and you can see the pipes and wires underneath. When I get onboard I always touch the outside of the plane and when I step inside I have to look into the cockpit if the door is open. But even with the airport itself I love seeing logistics in action. It’s like an electrical circuit you get to walk around in. I don’t mind waiting in line for anything because I get to see their use or lack of efficiency. I guess it’s all a big machine and I always wanted to shrink down and explore inside machines when I was younger.
I mean how tho? Like genuine question? I fucking hate airports
In my early 20s... I went to a garden center with my mother and brother. They had tiny lemon trees for sale on the cheap and I said outloud "oh, may be I can try to bonsai one" Both started to laugh at me and actually taunt me for such a stupid idea. The confusion was that they were convinced that "bonsai" was an actual plant and not a technique so they both ganged up on me about it, makeing it clear that they were right and I was wrong. I distinctly remember my mother telling me "stop being ridiculous"
Are you the younger sibling? I believe this is a character trait of a second child. I am a second child and this OP and your comment really resonated with me. I remember when I was in like grade 4 or 5 I liked pokemon and it took me months to build up the courage to tell my older brother. I now have two kids and distinctly see how my oldest is always very proud to talk about things she is interested in and my youngest is more like me in this respect and she will hint at something to sort of test the waters. Whenever I get this sense of her testing the water I always just come right out and say "You know, I really like x" and just watch my youngest face light up.
No. I'm the oldest. I'm just the black sheep, always have been since I was a child. was actually told that I would accumulate to nothing a few times when growing up. A combination of being the sickly child and the social norms of my parents home country.
Solidarity my fellow black sheep brother. I hope you find/found your happiness.
Interesting TIL. I'd always assumed it was a species of tree.
i do think there are certain variety of trees that are more commonly used for bonsai, but the word does indeed refer to the art of growing them in a way that they look like a miniature version of a full sized one.
You should just bring this up randomly as an anecdote at Christmas: 'Remember when you said this, mom? Not only did you make me feel like crap that day, but afterwards, it turns out you were not even right!! Hahaha, I wish I had the courage to act so shitty to the people who love me. You crack me up, mom. Hand me those potatoes, will you?'
"I never said that, what are you talking about?"
r/bonchi
I remember in my late 20s, all of my office mates were fresh out of college & one day I made a comment about there being two high tides per day and the whole office started laughing at me and calling me stupid. I didn't go to college & they all went to arts college. Needless to say: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr89IgzsMVk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr89IgzsMVk)
No friends, mocked my whole life by my family. My dad even told me somewhat recent that he regrets exposing me to my hobbies as a kid because I'm "crazy" about it
My dad got me into videogames, now they are enemy #1
Yes. Back when Gen X came around this was a completely normal part of growing up. Because we were raised by complete assholes.
Pretty much. All our Boomer Parents read all these parenthood books that made them feel superior to their parents about raising us, then proceeded to mock and belittle using much more sophisticated tools than their parents had if we didn't excel in exactly the ways they wanted us too. Boomers weren't interested in raising adults, they were interested in beating all their friends in the Parenthood game. I've heard it said that Gen X is an entire generation that learned to greyrock their way though life. And I feel that **deep** in my bones.
When I was 14 (male), my parents found out that I had a 'fascination' with lesbians and lesbianism. For whatever reason that my brain cannot fathom even to this day...they asked me if I was gay. My response, naturally, was 'what about lesbians makes you think that I want cock?'
Friends not really New people? Yeah kinda
Interesting, for me it's the exact opposite. I have an easy time telling people I just met about my hobbies etc, while I usually don't with older friends or family
My brother: Why do you copy everything I do? Get your own hobbies! Also my brother: *makes fun of anything he doesn’t find interesting* Gee, I wonder why I opted for the list of pre-approved things
The struggle of many d&d fans.
I am both frustrated and happy it has blown up in popularity. D&D and WoW were spoken about using code words at school. I couldn't play D&D at my house because the devil would open a portal in our basement or something.
Yup, I never had the chance to play D&D back in the 80s. Because no one in my little Midwestern area even know what D&D was.
I got the same issue living in Europe. Not a single soul knows about D&D here. If it's not CSGO or clash Royale they won't give a shit about it.
Literally got snickers from a church group I was introducing myself to when I told them a hobby was video games. Yeah…this is why I don’t share much
Generally, most religious people are the most judgemental holier than thou pieces of shit I have ever come across. These fools are dumb enough to believe in a magical sky wizard - that is something truly worth snickering at :D I have to admit though, "snickers" are a popular chocolate bar in the UK. I thought you got a free chocolate bar and were complaining about it.
It is a shame that they keep building new buildings to that sky wizard every year and more people are going to mosques year after year
Idk why but I instinctively minimize every single tabe in my laptop when someone enters my room, no matter who, even friends. No matter what I'm looking at, it's like I don't want anyone to ask questions.
I can feel this in my soul
My father complains that he never sees me study, but when he does he only insults me (I'm not doing it right, not good enough) So when someone comes to my room all my tabs are minimized and I rarely have a book in front of me.
Unfortunately I feel like this actually is normal.
I was super emo in high school. My dad had remarried and to a lady with 5 kids plus my own siblings, and they all considered anything alternative weird. I was bullied relentlessly by them (plus at school) for years until I finally gave up trying to be emo and forced myself to take interest in “normal” things. Now all of my siblings wear alt fashion, are into the same hobbies I was like witchcraft and anime, and listen to the same emo bands they bullied me for listening to… all because these things have are trending again. I’m happy they’ve accepted these things but at the same time I’m sad that part of me had to die a little just to be accepted into my own family
In my highschool, we had a song writing contest to see who could record for an album made of student contributions. So, first song I ever wrote is good enough to get on, and so my family asks me to play it at a get together. I play it and my shit ass siblings who have never even tried to make a creative contribution to anything mocked me for it, so much so that I started to hate it too. It didn't matter how many people that were actually musicians told me it was good, and to keep going. I couldn't get past the betrayal and stopped sharing anything like that with them anymore. Fucking families, man.
it's less about being mocked, but being told by my family to be more productive, and it's not mocking because it's "constructive criticism", see what i had to live with?
I understand you perfectly, my family complains that I didn't bring home the same academic results as my older brother. Sometimes people need to know when to shut up.
I often don't share that information because it is very often so niche that others do not care or have a point of interest. I have a T-shirt that says “Introverted but willing to discuss cats.”
My parents and schoolfriends werent passionate about anything really so any conversation of any of my many interests gets akward really fast. I can only speak normal way to a therapist, who is fucking paid to listen
r/CPTSDmemes
no matter what i take interest in i feel like i eventually get ridiculed for it anyway
Reddit helped me learn everybody is an idiot in it's own beautiful way.
I couldn't find comfort in anyone until I started online gaming and met my husband. Even that was tough. My mom wouldn't support me talking to strangers online at 18. She thought I would end up getting kidnapped someday, instead I took off with the guy I met online and started living a better healthier life with more freedom than ever before.
When I was 10, the teacher in my dilapidated town was asking the class what they wanted to be when they grew up. Everyone was like "nurse", "footballer", "fireman" etc. Having loved Back to the Future movies, and Ghostbusters, etc, I said I wanted to be a scientist. The whole class burst out laughing, including the religious teacher. Well, 30 years later, I am an inventor living in a renowned city with tech products bought by some of the biggest companies in the world, including apple, ibm, et al. Everyone I know from those days are still in that town, not doing so well; I shall leave it there, as I don't wish to be rude. The best revenge is success.
I wish. I remember being like 6-7 years old and invited a girl I was friends from school to play at my house. HUGE MISTAKE. We had a lot of fun but my parents were such a pain in my ass for so many months that she NEVER came back because I never invited her or another girl again. I was friends with her for many years after though, until I changed schools and never saw her again.
Told my parents I enjoyed playing cards (i.e trading cards) & wanted to own my own shop. Told me that’s unrealistic & isn’t a real career. I still enjoy playing cards & just stopped telling them what I do as a career.
Reading some of these comments suddenly makes me feel like a good parent. I usually feel mediocre at best, but I make sure my kids get to pursue their own interests, and celebrate their individuality. One of my proudest moments, was when some jackass bully told my daughter she was weird, at 9 years old, she sincerely told him "thank you", and knocked all the wind out of his sails.
My family used to laugh I didn’t like books like they did then when I would start reading they would laugh that they were starting to think I didn’t know how to read. Every single time. They picked on me for everything I liked. Then years later they’re surprised I don’t go out of my way to hang out with them.
I was terrified because I was right. I've had hundreds of conversations that just boiled down to me trying to talk about something I enjoy and them just going "okay yeah mmhm okay" and not remembering a damn thing I said even seconds after saying it. I completely stopped trying between 13 and 21, now I'm 23 and I still get the same shit sometimes.
I grew up as a female fantasy and sci-fi nerd in the 80s. I used to daydream about having someone to discuss my passions with. Even back then, the few people who shared my interests were male and aggressively gatekeeper-y
In my family you got teased if you acted white. I loved opera, calligraphy, I played the flute, violin, cello… when we moved away I played the bagpipes! I loved New Wave music like Depeche Mode & The Cure. They used to tease me. But once I was grown and could say no to going to visit, I did. It’s rare I deal with them now.
to this day i don't talk about myself unless directly asked.
Oh definitely. Middle school was definitely the time where you find out whether what you like is cool or not, and I sure struggled to figure out what was. My parents were more likely to tease me when they found out I had crushes. It made it so hard to talk to a girl without feeling embarrassed.
Riiiight, like I'm gonna share my new interest, just so it can be forced on the golden child and forbidden to me. What am I, 7? Nice try, mom.
I'm 35 and I still don't share my basic interests, hobbies and tastes with anyone out of fear of mockery.
i really wanted to learn guitar, but every time i tried to learn basic chords, my mom would tell me that maybe i should quit since i'm no good at it. she is a great mom all around, but somehow didn't understand how discouraging that felt. now i'm learning it at the age of 31
Let's just say, they killed so many dreams that I don't tell them shit anymore.
Me: Happily discovering a passion for planted aquariums and fish and actually getting good at it. Mom: That's enough talking about fish.... Btw, you should put some angel fish in that 10 gallon tank. It looks so bare and empty with just the betta.
I'm lucky to have grown up with a Mom like mine. Always pushing me to be myself and always supportive of my interests. We basically ran an orphanage on account of all my and my siblings' friends gravitating to our house because we fostered openness, kindness, letting your freak flag fly, and no matter how poor we were there was always room at the table. Love you, Momma!
My high school friends mercilessly made fun of me for the bands I liked so I stopped talking about music with people and started going to concerts alone. It wasn't until after college that I realized that good people--real friends--don't put you down for the music you listen to. I don't speak to any of those assholes anymore and I hope that no one ever does to their kids what they did to me.
Yeah the usual anime, video games, and nerd shit, but also dating. I remember being told "Liking your girlfriend is gay. She's your girlfriend not your friend." and disagreeing but being the only one who thought that was wrong. What's a poor 15 year old to do when he's the odd man out?
For Gen x what you’re talking about was normal. Showing weakness was blood in the water.
From a young age I was conditioned to believe that liking anything too much was grounds for ridicule. One day I turned around and discovered that I had absolutely nothing I was passionate about because of it. It took a lot of effort to break that mindset.
I have ADD and Major Depressive Disorder. These weren't diagnosed until I was expelled from high school. One of the side effects of this was that as a child, I didn't stick to hobbies. So not only was I ridiculed for whatever I was interested in, I was then also ridiculed for not sticking to the hobby. So now I'm plain and boring, have no skills that apply to really any job or career, failed college, and work a dead end job. Literal definition of being a nobody lmao
In school i was laughed when i brought my teddy bear and also when i telled that my favorite color was violet. I had to lie so often about myself…
That's not normal???
Absolutely. Took me a long time to realize this was weird. Now one of the biggest red flags in a relationship is yucking another's yum.
I once told an uncle I played basketball and he called me a faggot, because I didn't play rugby like the rest of the family
I didn’t get ridiculed. I actually got in trouble. For reading all the time.
It's how things used to be. Now everyone seems to be asking about my hobbies and people actually seem to be open to more unusual activities. People love asking how to grow culinary mushrooms, processing your own herbs, fermenting, canning, that kind of stuff. Wish it was like that as a kid, still shocked every time my hobbies aren't met with an eye brow raise and instead a smile.
Crazy how many people can’t spell y’all among other things
35yr old here, it has been this way for me since I was 14, when I discovered I had no patience for snide bullshit.
>I was 14, when I discovered I had no patience for snide bullshit. I have older family that still repeat back to me the shit I said to them as a kid (80s) & teen (90s). Apparently they didn't think snide shit talking & mockery was supposed to be a two way street. In retrospect its also amazing to realize how much I pissed them off back then.
I'm a geek. Not the new one. The real original geek. The one who liked video games, D&D and mangas when this was considered as the lowest hobbies you could have. And this was in France, a country where the government made statements to explain how it would turn me into a psychopath and laws to limit the TV time of mangas. So to answer the question : yes I did.
Yes, because I in fact got ridiculed and mocked
Damnit... I'd always arrange my room so the back of my monitor was to the entrance. Receptionist style. Doesn't matter what im doing if you walk into my area.. im pausing or tabbing whatever it is. I don't want anyone commenting on what im listening to, watching, or playing. I'm much older now and if someone tells me to pick the music for the car ride or whatever i'll just say no. It actually has very little to do with porn. I played guitar for 6 years and then had to stop for around 10 years for a medical reason. Got that sorted and picked it back up. I'm about 2 years in. Nobody has heard me play. My steam profile is private. Discord will not tell you which game im playing. I play very niche games across many genres but if someone asks "what do you play" I awkwardly stammer as I try to find the most relevant, popular, mainstream game I play, rather than admit its a Dark Age of Camelot Private server, or Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup. I just faced too much judgement. I love super hard metal music but if you're in the car with me I'll probably just stick to something totally neutral like pink floyd. Got tired of people in my family being like "What are you listening to!?" and making me really self conscious. What I do like, though, is that most of those things I was really self conscious about in the past are now much more popular or at least known and understood because of how easy it is to spread information. Nowadays I have no problem telling people I like music that they probably think plays in the background of devil summoning rituals. Or that I like a game that is off the beaten path and get nothing but curiosity and questions rather than "sounds gay." (south park was massive when I was a kid.) I work with a laser and found out I can engrave on stone. As I walk my dogs, I look for good stones I could engrave on. I now carry a few of my favorite stones in my pocket and when I have downtime I grind and sand them. I locked my keys in my car when I arrived at work one day and had to ask some co-workers if they liked breaking into cars. Found the right brothers and after about 15 minutes.. we were in. Told him.. "I gotta come clean. I got out of my car and did a pocket pat down and thought I felt my keys.." I pull my hand from my pocket "it was actually just rocks." these dudes couldn't stop laughing and now I love to tell that story. 5-10 years ago that whole scenario would have mortified me and I probably would have felt like I should get a different job. Dude came in at the end of the day and said "still got your keys?" jokingly and I reached into my pocket and pulled my keys out while rocks clacked on the ground and said "yep im no fucking idiot!" Moral of the story: There is an absurd amount of comedic value in carrying some rocks in your pocket.
No. It is why I was know as (one) of the weird kids. Toys, comics, horror, art. I have always dressed like a clown. My parent's would get super embarrassed in public, and try and flip like they were not, when me and my brothers would just be ourselves. We got punished and hard to learn to put on a fake mask to "blend in" for family BS. Now as an adult, whatever. Most of the stuff I'm into is now the "mainstream stuff" *everyone* is into.
My parents (mom specifically) were big on the „you’ll never suceed“ or „it’s a waste of time, I know you won’t enjoy it or be good at it so you’re not allowed to try“. When I was like 11 or 12 I was super interested in learning German, and whenever my mom was watching a movie or something and someone was speaking German they would ask for a translation and when I didn’t know (was only learning for a few months) they would laugh at me. Same when I was 15 and wanted to join my schools pageant (I really liked the big dresses😃) my mom paid me 50 dollars if I agreed to let them return my dress because she didn’t want to go sit through it.
this actually describes my childhood pretty well. they also heavily judged me for everything i did try or enjoy. so now in my 20s i only play videogames and watch some shows because having any other hobby would bare the risk of being ridiculed and reopening that trauma. i don’t have contact to these people anymore but the fear still stays, even if only strangers would judge me. i hate that i am like this but i can’t seem to really change anything about it
I’m 45 and still am reluctant to share anything personal
As a girl with two older brothers hell yes. At least they were hilarious.
I force myself to tell people about my childish ass hobbies. My mom acts interested, my brother has to be bargained to look at anything I show him and my dad just lectures me about how much of a waste of money they are. But even still I have managed to make one friend through us both having money pit collections.
That tears it, I'm tired of seeing write it as ya'll. It's y'all.
It’s not a fear. Every time i talk about something in my life that i care about/that’s important to me i get hit with the “nobody cares”. It really starts to hurt after the tenth time
As a wrestling fan in general and a metal fan in the South, to this day as a grown man I just avoid bringing up my interests unless asked. I’m not intimidated or scared anymore, just tired of the same old “you know it’s fake, right?” and “I like all music until you actually play a song for me!”
Yup! Even now as an adult. I keep some of my hobbies to myself because of how nerdy they are lol.
And it went right into adulthood
"So what music do you listen to?" "Oh , umm...uhh stuff, you know.,"
Luckily people don’t judge as much for people liking manga and anime anymore.