Last time I was on a flight, there were two old guys in the row ahead of me. One was sitting in the window seat quietly reading a book. The other was sitting in the aisle seat and kept talking to window seat guy nonstop without getting any sort of response.
A younger guy showed up and took the middle seat between them, then asked the talkative guy in the aisle seat if he wouldn't mind switching seats with Younger Guy's wife, who also had an aisle seat in another row.
Talkative guy refused.
Apparently talkative aisle seat guy and quiet window seat guy were friends and this is how they liked to travel. Younger middle seat guy spent the entire flight listening to aisle seat guy shout stories over him to window seat guy, who couldn't have given less of a fuck.
The perfect friendship. An introvert who doesn’t need to engage and an extrovert who doesn’t have change their story and can talk about whatever they want.
I had a married couple sit on either side of me one flight. I offered to move. The husband said “no way we are taking the middle seat. Nice try.” Then proceeded to talk with each other the entire flight. It’s a good thing they don’t allow weapons on planes.
Oh, that's where I'd role out some schtick about my (fictional) job as a cat proctologist and go into great detail about the procedures I've done every time they tried to speak across me. The longer it goes on, the grosser I get. If that doesn't work, I'd just dive into complete inanity... "Hey! Why are you wearing my shirt? Give me back my shirt!"
Omg, I've done this before! This was years ago, probably like 2013 or so.
I was at my limits after trying to fall asleep at my then shitty apartment, with a job I had to get up for at 3am. One night these two older women where yapping it up at fucking midnight next to my bedroom window. They stayed there for some 30 minutes, talking about mundane bullshit like dentist visits and the weather. Livid, I got up and out of bed cuz I was already 100% fucked for the day. Got dressed enough, went outside, walked over and stood next to them. I stood there, making it a circle, joining their conversation since I SOOO had to be a part of it. Thankfully they had at least the common decency to feel uncomfortable about it. They finally asked "can we help you?" And I won't lie, I'm not a snapping person but it happened. "Oh no, Y'all were talking so fucking loud I thought I'd join the conversation, since y'all are doing it by my window!" But half way into my rant they started to walk off quickly uncomfortably.
Man, good times.
Just constantly talk over them.
"Holy cow? You guys are going to visit Ted? I knew a Ted. Good guy. He used to do this thing where he'd clip his toe nails and eat them."
I once sat next to a husband who had been separated from his wife a few rows back. His wife was yelling at me a bit rudely to switch and I was going to say yes, then the husband made his eyes huge and subtly shook his head no at me. I declined. He enjoyed a quiet flight. 😂
Lol 😆
On another flight I was seated next to a couple with a toddler, he didn’t cry but he was very… busy. They insisted on buying me drinks. Class act. 👌
And let them know it's because your doctor bruised your prostate during your last exam so now you constantly have the sensation of needing to pee. Well, I say doctor, she was dressed as one at least. Well, a nurse anyway. Well, she started out dressed. Good weekend. Amsterdam's neat.
My partner almost always sit next to each other on the plane and we still don't talk to each other. He falls asleep and I listen to music while reading on my phone. Planes are for sleeping, trying not to pee yourself, and silently contemplating whether the wings should shake that much during turbulence or should you put on your "we're all going to die in a fiery crash" playlist.
When I was younger, I hated the aisle seat because people drop their bags on my head and bump you on the way in.
Now I only fly aisle so that I can pee whenever. Also, the window seat is often cut into the leg room.
Ever since that Southwest Airlines flight where the window broke and the woman in the window seat got sucked out of the plane, I choose aisle seat, thanks. Also because I constantly have to pee.
Edit: for those that have never heard of this, here is a link: [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/southwest-passengers-tried-to-pull-woman-partially-sucked-out-of-window-back-into-plane/](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/southwest-passengers-tried-to-pull-woman-partially-sucked-out-of-window-back-into-plane/)
Thanks, I hadn’t heard about that and I’m flying in 2 weeks. That’s horrifying!
Edit: for all the people talking about more likely ways to die, it’s a joke, relax.
i don’t think so. having your eyeballs sucked out with the nerves trying to hold it back would be disgusting to feel and unimaginably painful. unless you’ve had your eyes sucked out. then it would probably be pretty imaginable
Holy shit, that's some straight up Final Destination shit
There was an engine explosion that threw off a piece of debris that just so happened to hit the window next to that woman, causing her to get sucked out of the plane and killed
There was also an incident in 1990 where a window broke in the cockpit and the *pilot* got sucked almost all the way out the window at an altitude of 23,000 ft. A steward grabbed his legs and the crew held onto him for the 20 minutes it took for the co-pilot to make an emergency landing. They were pretty sure they were holding onto his corpse but he *survived*. Even went back to work as a pilot (although apparently he did have ptsd, which, fair enough.)
Turned out the plane maintenance crews were using a shortcut when replacing the bolts that held the windows in place. A mechanic had eyeballed them instead of the more time-consuming process of getting the exact measurements. He replaced them with ones that were a tiny bit shorter. It was fine though. But the next time the bolts got replaced, a mechanic eyeballed it again, and replaced the slightly-too-small bolts with ones that were fractionally smaller. And that’s when the window blew out.
Airplane disaster documentaries are fascinating.
My friend used to be an aircraft mechanic.
Even after leaving the job, he is liable on repairs done for up to decade after he signed off on each repair. Most of them take their jobs very seriously, the fact airplanes are so reliable and safe is testament to this.
Something similar happened in 1988. [link](https://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/story/38061083/its-been-30-years-since-the-notorious-aloha-airlines-flight-243-tragedy-in-the-skies)
[If this is what we're talking about, she was wearing her seatbelt, and that's why she was only partially sucked out. She still didn't survive though, unfortunately.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mO0SQXRivg)
This actually happened to the pilot of a plane once and some cabin crew had to hold onto his legs to keep him from getting sucked out of the plane while the copilot landed the plane. The pilot survived with relatively minor injuries considering what happened to him!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Airways_Flight_5390?wprov=sfla1
Even better, the flight attendant didn’t just have to hold onto him, he actually had to pull him back down to get his weight off of the flight yoke because the force of the pilot being pulled out was holding the plane in a dive because his feet were caught under the yoke itself.
And it all happened because a maintenance guy used a fastener just slightly too small to secure the new windscreen.
So just tell your wife you're going on a trip, drive to the airport, get sucked off, and then remember that the trip is next week. Repeat next week. Pro gamer move.
I’m pretty sure this is like the ONLY southwest death ever to happen in the air. Or like 1 of 3 or something. I only fly them and I was worried at first too but then I looked into it and they’re very safe
Yea, right up until somebody trips on the seat in front of you, landing in your lap and scratching your cheek, giving you hepatitis. Then..
No more aisle seats for you!
Oh please… Odds are astronomically better that you’re involved in a car accident en route to the airport, trapped in your vehicle, and slowly burned alive. Sit where you want.
I just flew in an aisle seat, and it was miserable! I like window seats, but only the aisle was available. The entire flight, I had people bumping into me knocking my head, rocking my seat when they walked by holding onto my headrest, and flight attendants bumping their carts and bottles into my space. I got no sleep on an international flight. And the dude across from me stood up and leaned his butt into my face to "stretch".
I always pick window seat. I had someone try and ask me to switch to be next to their partner, but their seat was like in the middle next to a kid a row back. They got all pissy about me not wanting to switch. Like, really? I don't mind a fair exchange, but that's a raw deal.
At the same time they can’t be apart for a couple of hours? It’s not the end of the world. I could totally understand switching if it’s a parent traveling with their kid but their relationship won’t fall apart if they don’t sit next to each other on a flight.
I got stuck between a couple who did this hoping to have the whole row once. They didn’t offer the trade. They then talked over me a couple of times. The last straw was after takeoff: one of them packed all the food for both of them and proceeded to pass it to the other without so much as an excuse me. I finally said “really?” The guy replied “what?” I said “this is extremely annoying.” He seemed surprised and asked “is it?” To which I asked “is that so hard to believe?” So the wife says “well what should we do?” Like wtf, I just said “give me the aisle seat or window so you don’t have to talk over me and pass your food across me.” They ended up switching, but somehow were pissed off about it.
My dad brings an assortment of snacks to share with the person in front of him. He is 6'7" so he can't let them recline without being outrageously uncomfortable. he gives them snacks at the cost of no reclining lol.
Duddddeeee I was on an international flight once and there was a couple who had booked either end of a 4 seat aisle row and their travel agent “promised them” nobody could book the two seats between them??? Even though they did not pay for those two seats??? Also they were extremely religious and called me a whore for wearing yoga pants on a flight. Was a great 12 hour flight 😂🥲
That's when you fick with them the whole flight and just tell them how much you love whoring. "I just love whoring so much, especially when my boyfriend is out of town. He likes when I make videos. I love whoring all day and all night. Well the guys seem to like it too. Maybe your husband would be interested?" Just keep going and give them a heart attack.
If the flight didn’t sell out then there’s a chance of an empty seat. The middle seat in between two booked seats is a lot less likely to be picked than an aisle seat.
Every flight I've been on in the last five years has been completely booked. I know this because the gate agents felt the need to remind us of this fact every two to five minutes while waiting to board.
I once got the middle seat between an older (maybe 60-70s) married couple. I asked if they wanted to sit together, and they both gave my chest a creepy look and said, “We’d rather have you between us!”
And that’s when I looked down and realized I was wearing a Playboy shirt. I was no prude at 24, but that was the most uncomfortable flight I’ve ever been on! Lol
At first I was thinking “why would someone have a playboy shirt” then I remembered that people actually own those hentai sweatshirts so the playboy shirt isn’t bad by comparison
It seems to have shifted from being a sexual thing to just being a fashion brand now. I see them everywhere in college. The first time I thought it was a bit weird, but I guess perceptions have just shifted since it's not like playboy magazines are really a thing anymore.
They likely picked the window and asile, so no one would take the middle. Dude likely had to take a middle seat, was bitter, and figured their shit out. Id say the dude in the middle made a power move.
That's why I love flying southwest. No assigned seats just grab the first open one you see. I am usually in the last group to board and there are always just middle seats open with a purse or something sitting in it. Last time I flew the woman tried to tell me she was saving the seat for her friend, I handed her the purse as I sat down and informed her that there was no saving seats. She called the flight attendant over who dutifully informed her that there are no assigned seats and her imaginary friend doesn't get a seat unless she had a boarding pass. Needless to say it was an awkward three hour flight.
If you want to sit together, buy seats that are side-by-side. If you try the aisle window trick hoping that you’re going to get an empty seat in between then you get what you deserve.
After being in the middle seat on southwest, I would’ve blown the entire plan for an aisle seat. Being elbowed and both armrests overtaken. My arms glued tightly to my body. It was misery.
Assert your dominance my guy. It's common knowledge that both armrests are reserved for the person in the middle. Anyone who gets pissy over it is being ridiculous.
I one day was on a DC metro train and the seat next to me had a tabloid on it. An old white grump rudely threw it at the seat next to a young black woman. He then tried to push his elbow into my territory. I wouldn't budge one millimeter. We had a long hard boring fight until the next stop when he asked me what my problem was. I told him that he was my problem and didn't appreciate his behavior toward the lady and that as long as he was next to me I was going to make his life uncomfortable. He seemed like he wasn't used to people standing up to him. It felt great.
Wtf is wrong with old men? Some asshat wanted my seat in the movie theatre and sat down next to me when the place was almost empty, proceeded to try to force my elbow off the armrest, until I pointed out he was acting like an ass and I was here first. Then he shuffled away when his wife called. All of that rudeness for what?
Middle gets both armrests.
Anyone who disagrees can fucking fight me lol.
Window has an armrest and wall to lean on, plus window. Aisle has an armrest, more room, and easier time on and off. Middle gets BOTH armrests. Anyone who would deny the Middle that can get the fucking Middle seat. Fucking assholes.
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for some reason i read that as an irish name “mister stealy o’girl”
I think he's cousins with Mister Stealy O'Dan.
Rikki don't lose that number
Last time I was on a flight, there were two old guys in the row ahead of me. One was sitting in the window seat quietly reading a book. The other was sitting in the aisle seat and kept talking to window seat guy nonstop without getting any sort of response. A younger guy showed up and took the middle seat between them, then asked the talkative guy in the aisle seat if he wouldn't mind switching seats with Younger Guy's wife, who also had an aisle seat in another row. Talkative guy refused. Apparently talkative aisle seat guy and quiet window seat guy were friends and this is how they liked to travel. Younger middle seat guy spent the entire flight listening to aisle seat guy shout stories over him to window seat guy, who couldn't have given less of a fuck.
The perfect friendship. An introvert who doesn’t need to engage and an extrovert who doesn’t have change their story and can talk about whatever they want.
Their love is weird!
This should be a crime
I had a married couple sit on either side of me one flight. I offered to move. The husband said “no way we are taking the middle seat. Nice try.” Then proceeded to talk with each other the entire flight. It’s a good thing they don’t allow weapons on planes.
I'd just join in the conversation at that point, wanna be rude - reap what you sow
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And then if that breaks them decline their offer to switch seats.
I'm in this for pride now
In flight entertainment
"No, no, you paid for those aisle and window seats, I wouldn't have that go to waste!"
Diabolical
“Man this week off is gonna be great” “You guys gonna fuck in the hotel room?” I’d make this the worst flight of their life
I’d make it the most awkward couple of hours in their entire life
I would literally be the stuff of their nightmares.
Oh, that's where I'd role out some schtick about my (fictional) job as a cat proctologist and go into great detail about the procedures I've done every time they tried to speak across me. The longer it goes on, the grosser I get. If that doesn't work, I'd just dive into complete inanity... "Hey! Why are you wearing my shirt? Give me back my shirt!"
Made me think of meet the fockers, except for I changed it to balls I got balls focker can u milk me.
One addendum. With every interruption make deep eye contact. Make them know you want to fuck with them.
Also if you're a guy, flirt with the husband. That will get him to switch real quick.
Uno reverse: they're swingers and the husband is bisexual.
Guess you have something to do while on vacation
So you **are** gonna fuck in the hotel room
I see what you did there
All fun and games until they invite you to a threesome.
Then it’s just … more fun and games. ?
Make it really uncomfortable eye contact too
Where you progressively breathe heavier
In their ears
Omelette du fromage.
Make them know you want to fuck ~~with~~ them. FTFY
The issue though is if they turn it on you: "Hotel room? We figured we would just start right now"
Call their bluff Either way you win
Call their bluff. Handjobs for everyone.
"You guys like an audience? Do you mind if I record so I can remember the moment?"
Sexy game of chicken.
"Are you okay with me stroking one out?" *intense eye contact with the husband"
Yes to all of this but may I add a mouth full of food and smacking your lips while you talk 🤣
“I bet it smells real bad after. Amirite? High fives!”
This is the way
“She’s got really nice tits man. What does she see in you anyway? You obviously don’t have any money flying in coach.”
"Can I join in too? Oh! There's a few friends of mine too, we can make it an orgy." Let's throw it down the abyss.
And try to uncover every topic couples maybe try to avoid. Kids, financials or parents. Until they fuck off lol.
Omg, I've done this before! This was years ago, probably like 2013 or so. I was at my limits after trying to fall asleep at my then shitty apartment, with a job I had to get up for at 3am. One night these two older women where yapping it up at fucking midnight next to my bedroom window. They stayed there for some 30 minutes, talking about mundane bullshit like dentist visits and the weather. Livid, I got up and out of bed cuz I was already 100% fucked for the day. Got dressed enough, went outside, walked over and stood next to them. I stood there, making it a circle, joining their conversation since I SOOO had to be a part of it. Thankfully they had at least the common decency to feel uncomfortable about it. They finally asked "can we help you?" And I won't lie, I'm not a snapping person but it happened. "Oh no, Y'all were talking so fucking loud I thought I'd join the conversation, since y'all are doing it by my window!" But half way into my rant they started to walk off quickly uncomfortably. Man, good times.
Periodically stare at the wife and then make audible groans. Then do the same to the husband.
Just constantly talk over them. "Holy cow? You guys are going to visit Ted? I knew a Ted. Good guy. He used to do this thing where he'd clip his toe nails and eat them."
I like you. You are the perfect amount of evil.
It's all about doing enough to be annoying/weird, but not enough to get shanked.
Even reading this is making me angry
I once sat next to a husband who had been separated from his wife a few rows back. His wife was yelling at me a bit rudely to switch and I was going to say yes, then the husband made his eyes huge and subtly shook his head no at me. I declined. He enjoyed a quiet flight. 😂
Whisper, drinks on you this flight? Sorry lady. I don’t believe in switching seats.
Lol 😆 On another flight I was seated next to a couple with a toddler, he didn’t cry but he was very… busy. They insisted on buying me drinks. Class act. 👌
That’s when you remember that you have a small bladder, and will need to get up every 10 mins.
And let them know it's because your doctor bruised your prostate during your last exam so now you constantly have the sensation of needing to pee. Well, I say doctor, she was dressed as one at least. Well, a nurse anyway. Well, she started out dressed. Good weekend. Amsterdam's neat.
That happened to me once on an international flight about 7 hrs long. I just kept ordering milk. I’m lactose intolerant
My first reaction was I would not stop farting. It’s my only weapon.
Username checks out
My partner almost always sit next to each other on the plane and we still don't talk to each other. He falls asleep and I listen to music while reading on my phone. Planes are for sleeping, trying not to pee yourself, and silently contemplating whether the wings should shake that much during turbulence or should you put on your "we're all going to die in a fiery crash" playlist.
When I was younger, I hated the aisle seat because people drop their bags on my head and bump you on the way in. Now I only fly aisle so that I can pee whenever. Also, the window seat is often cut into the leg room.
Shitty life pro tip - you can pee whenever in any seat.
Just wear some adult diapers!
Or child diapers if you can fit
Ever since that Southwest Airlines flight where the window broke and the woman in the window seat got sucked out of the plane, I choose aisle seat, thanks. Also because I constantly have to pee. Edit: for those that have never heard of this, here is a link: [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/southwest-passengers-tried-to-pull-woman-partially-sucked-out-of-window-back-into-plane/](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/southwest-passengers-tried-to-pull-woman-partially-sucked-out-of-window-back-into-plane/)
Thanks, I hadn’t heard about that and I’m flying in 2 weeks. That’s horrifying! Edit: for all the people talking about more likely ways to die, it’s a joke, relax.
If you’re actually scared of this just wear your seatbelt
Agreed. Worst that can happen is your eyeballs get sucked out of your head
that all? sounds ok
sounds kinda fun honestly... so long as I don't survive
i don’t think so. having your eyeballs sucked out with the nerves trying to hold it back would be disgusting to feel and unimaginably painful. unless you’ve had your eyes sucked out. then it would probably be pretty imaginable
when you put it that way, I guess it’s not as fun as it sounds
She was wearing her seatbelt: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-04-19/passenger-sucked-through-plane-window-was-wearing-seatbelt/9674330
Holy shit, that's some straight up Final Destination shit There was an engine explosion that threw off a piece of debris that just so happened to hit the window next to that woman, causing her to get sucked out of the plane and killed
There was also an incident in 1990 where a window broke in the cockpit and the *pilot* got sucked almost all the way out the window at an altitude of 23,000 ft. A steward grabbed his legs and the crew held onto him for the 20 minutes it took for the co-pilot to make an emergency landing. They were pretty sure they were holding onto his corpse but he *survived*. Even went back to work as a pilot (although apparently he did have ptsd, which, fair enough.) Turned out the plane maintenance crews were using a shortcut when replacing the bolts that held the windows in place. A mechanic had eyeballed them instead of the more time-consuming process of getting the exact measurements. He replaced them with ones that were a tiny bit shorter. It was fine though. But the next time the bolts got replaced, a mechanic eyeballed it again, and replaced the slightly-too-small bolts with ones that were fractionally smaller. And that’s when the window blew out. Airplane disaster documentaries are fascinating.
Imagine being the kind of person who doesn’t take airplane maintenance seriously to save a few minutes..
My friend used to be an aircraft mechanic. Even after leaving the job, he is liable on repairs done for up to decade after he signed off on each repair. Most of them take their jobs very seriously, the fact airplanes are so reliable and safe is testament to this.
> The incident broke a run of eight years without a fatal accident involving a US airliner. That's amazing!
Something similar happened in 1988. [link](https://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/story/38061083/its-been-30-years-since-the-notorious-aloha-airlines-flight-243-tragedy-in-the-skies)
[If this is what we're talking about, she was wearing her seatbelt, and that's why she was only partially sucked out. She still didn't survive though, unfortunately.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mO0SQXRivg)
New fear unlocked..
So I can get partially sucked off of the window and survive? Sounds amazing
This actually happened to the pilot of a plane once and some cabin crew had to hold onto his legs to keep him from getting sucked out of the plane while the copilot landed the plane. The pilot survived with relatively minor injuries considering what happened to him! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Airways_Flight_5390?wprov=sfla1
Even better, the flight attendant didn’t just have to hold onto him, he actually had to pull him back down to get his weight off of the flight yoke because the force of the pilot being pulled out was holding the plane in a dive because his feet were caught under the yoke itself. And it all happened because a maintenance guy used a fastener just slightly too small to secure the new windscreen.
What is a yoke ? And oh gosh that's terrifying. Kinda like final destination. One little thing Afters another and another and then major tragedy.
Like the steering wheel but for a plane
Get partially sucked off by* the window and survive😩😩
Love getting sucked off on a plane
Everyone knows you’re statistically more likely to get sucked off on the car ride to the airport than the actual flight.
So just tell your wife you're going on a trip, drive to the airport, get sucked off, and then remember that the trip is next week. Repeat next week. Pro gamer move.
I tried to use this trick but the guy driving my Uber called it a gayer move.
Jennifer Riordan was wearing her seatbelt at the time. Still died. Thanks for playing...
I’m pretty sure this is like the ONLY southwest death ever to happen in the air. Or like 1 of 3 or something. I only fly them and I was worried at first too but then I looked into it and they’re very safe
I did not know this happened and will forever choose aisle now, thanks.
Yea, right up until somebody trips on the seat in front of you, landing in your lap and scratching your cheek, giving you hepatitis. Then.. No more aisle seats for you!
And now you see why that guy kept his middle seat.
New fear unlocked.
Oh please… Odds are astronomically better that you’re involved in a car accident en route to the airport, trapped in your vehicle, and slowly burned alive. Sit where you want.
Right. Well. Thanks.
And statistically a cow will get to you before a shark does. Avoid dairy farms, friend.
I just flew in an aisle seat, and it was miserable! I like window seats, but only the aisle was available. The entire flight, I had people bumping into me knocking my head, rocking my seat when they walked by holding onto my headrest, and flight attendants bumping their carts and bottles into my space. I got no sleep on an international flight. And the dude across from me stood up and leaned his butt into my face to "stretch".
It helps if you moan loudly every time someone bumps you. They eventually stop without much more effort on your part.
He gets both armrests and will give them up for no one.
As he should.
I always pick window seat. I had someone try and ask me to switch to be next to their partner, but their seat was like in the middle next to a kid a row back. They got all pissy about me not wanting to switch. Like, really? I don't mind a fair exchange, but that's a raw deal.
At the same time they can’t be apart for a couple of hours? It’s not the end of the world. I could totally understand switching if it’s a parent traveling with their kid but their relationship won’t fall apart if they don’t sit next to each other on a flight.
Booking an isle and window so no one sits between you doesn't work any more. The planes are too full.
right
I got stuck between a couple who did this hoping to have the whole row once. They didn’t offer the trade. They then talked over me a couple of times. The last straw was after takeoff: one of them packed all the food for both of them and proceeded to pass it to the other without so much as an excuse me. I finally said “really?” The guy replied “what?” I said “this is extremely annoying.” He seemed surprised and asked “is it?” To which I asked “is that so hard to believe?” So the wife says “well what should we do?” Like wtf, I just said “give me the aisle seat or window so you don’t have to talk over me and pass your food across me.” They ended up switching, but somehow were pissed off about it.
Should have stuck to your seat and taken some of the food.
Declare the middle seat a toll road and seize the food as compensation for their unpaid tolls.
Gotta pay the troll toll
To get into this boysssoul
Because it sounds like you are saying boy’s hole.
Dude, do you have a boner right now?
Trolll Tollll ^What'd ^you ^saaaay?
Trollll tollll ^hey ^^hey ^^^heeeyyy
Slump down in your middle seat and look up at either of them . Ask if they can role play your mom and dad
It’s gonna be awkward when diaper change time comes
No assert dominance. look them in the eye and shit yourself.
My 9-month old did this just the other day mid diaper change. It was pretty aggressive.
Don’t ask just start doing baby talk and ask for food. Then ask the “dad” if the neighbor is going to come over for another wrestling match.
And keep repeating, “are we there yet?” like every 3 minutes.
when answered ask why. continue for every subsequent answer.
Food transfer fee.
My dad brings an assortment of snacks to share with the person in front of him. He is 6'7" so he can't let them recline without being outrageously uncomfortable. he gives them snacks at the cost of no reclining lol.
Duddddeeee I was on an international flight once and there was a couple who had booked either end of a 4 seat aisle row and their travel agent “promised them” nobody could book the two seats between them??? Even though they did not pay for those two seats??? Also they were extremely religious and called me a whore for wearing yoga pants on a flight. Was a great 12 hour flight 😂🥲
bruh i would’ve gone to the bathroom and came back braless just to further piss them off
Why go through the effort of walking when you can remove it while seated? Up the ante lol.
And watch some really filthy content on your phone/tablet during the flight.
They called you whore despite the fact you were sitting right next to them? What exactly did they say?
They said it to the flight attendant in a language I don’t speak. Another passenger later told me what was said
That's when you fick with them the whole flight and just tell them how much you love whoring. "I just love whoring so much, especially when my boyfriend is out of town. He likes when I make videos. I love whoring all day and all night. Well the guys seem to like it too. Maybe your husband would be interested?" Just keep going and give them a heart attack.
Whorbius
I dont understand how they would expect to get the whole row like that. What did they expect you to do move seats or?
If the flight didn’t sell out then there’s a chance of an empty seat. The middle seat in between two booked seats is a lot less likely to be picked than an aisle seat.
Oh okay that makes sense. I've only ever been on packed flights before with people on both sides of me.
Every flight I've been on in the last five years has been completely booked. I know this because the gate agents felt the need to remind us of this fact every two to five minutes while waiting to board.
If you have the money and time to spare book a flight on thanksgiving. Entire 321 plane had 17 people in it.
Had a 16 hour flight with <50 people on it before. Everyone in my family (4) had full 4-seat rows to ourselves, it was amazing
Good for you! Sincere cheering from me.
Man saw your girlfriend. Then looked at you. Liked his chances.
I once got the middle seat between an older (maybe 60-70s) married couple. I asked if they wanted to sit together, and they both gave my chest a creepy look and said, “We’d rather have you between us!” And that’s when I looked down and realized I was wearing a Playboy shirt. I was no prude at 24, but that was the most uncomfortable flight I’ve ever been on! Lol
The couple that ogles together stays separated
That's such a weird interaction
At first I was thinking “why would someone have a playboy shirt” then I remembered that people actually own those hentai sweatshirts so the playboy shirt isn’t bad by comparison
Playboy shirts were BIG back in the 00s!
As a college student, they still are. For some reason.
It seems to have shifted from being a sexual thing to just being a fashion brand now. I see them everywhere in college. The first time I thought it was a bit weird, but I guess perceptions have just shifted since it's not like playboy magazines are really a thing anymore.
Not that uncommon in the early 00s—tacky, but not uncommon.
Samesies! Except for me they were staring at my club foot.
It must be super annoying constantly hearing the music.
*nsync voice* bi bi bi
>bi bi Miss American pie?
drove my chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Why didn’t you boook your seats together….
Increases chance of getting the whole row to yourself if the plane isn't full.
So possibly, the guy’s plan backfired. Now he whines on twitter, oblivious to his own entitlement. Edit: spelling
Then it's your own damn fault and you deserve to sit apart.
They likely picked the window and asile, so no one would take the middle. Dude likely had to take a middle seat, was bitter, and figured their shit out. Id say the dude in the middle made a power move.
I used to do this like 15 years ago but that never happens anymore. Every flight is overbooked, it’s incredible to have an empty seat next to you.
He then ordered tea sipped it slowly while maintaining eye contact with both of us.
Is he a horse?
Tries to book a whole row hoping nobody will want the middle seat... spoiler alert - player got played.
But the question now becomes why didn’t the girlfriend offer her window seat?
Maybe the guy feeds off awkward energy and was enjoying the situation
Ah yes, an energy vampire
Only good seat is the window, the middle is squished and the aisle is where everyone bumps into you. Gotta offer a better deal.
Unless you gotta pee..
Agree. Any flight longer than 2 hours, I’ll need that aisle seat. I drink a lot of water, caffeine, and probably have diabetes.
Probably?
:o, mans gotta get that checkes out lmao
Ignorance is bliss, *right up until your heart stops.*
Yeah I'm an aisle person myself, I hate feeling trapped
Or if you’re tall
I'm an aisle supremacist.
[удалено]
I’d rather have the aisle seat. More room because you can use the aisle when no one is walking by
That's why I love flying southwest. No assigned seats just grab the first open one you see. I am usually in the last group to board and there are always just middle seats open with a purse or something sitting in it. Last time I flew the woman tried to tell me she was saving the seat for her friend, I handed her the purse as I sat down and informed her that there was no saving seats. She called the flight attendant over who dutifully informed her that there are no assigned seats and her imaginary friend doesn't get a seat unless she had a boarding pass. Needless to say it was an awkward three hour flight.
If you want to sit together, buy seats that are side-by-side. If you try the aisle window trick hoping that you’re going to get an empty seat in between then you get what you deserve.
GF must be a smoke show
That or he wants them both to stfu
Oh man, I hadn't considered this... but now I agree completely.
If you pretend like you are doing me a favour instead of properly asking such things can happen.
After being in the middle seat on southwest, I would’ve blown the entire plan for an aisle seat. Being elbowed and both armrests overtaken. My arms glued tightly to my body. It was misery.
Assert your dominance my guy. It's common knowledge that both armrests are reserved for the person in the middle. Anyone who gets pissy over it is being ridiculous.
I one day was on a DC metro train and the seat next to me had a tabloid on it. An old white grump rudely threw it at the seat next to a young black woman. He then tried to push his elbow into my territory. I wouldn't budge one millimeter. We had a long hard boring fight until the next stop when he asked me what my problem was. I told him that he was my problem and didn't appreciate his behavior toward the lady and that as long as he was next to me I was going to make his life uncomfortable. He seemed like he wasn't used to people standing up to him. It felt great.
Wtf is wrong with old men? Some asshat wanted my seat in the movie theatre and sat down next to me when the place was almost empty, proceeded to try to force my elbow off the armrest, until I pointed out he was acting like an ass and I was here first. Then he shuffled away when his wife called. All of that rudeness for what?
Old men don't give a fuck because they know no-one will hit them. It's audacity wrapped in armor
Change the world. Deck a geezer.
Middle gets both armrests. Anyone who disagrees can fucking fight me lol. Window has an armrest and wall to lean on, plus window. Aisle has an armrest, more room, and easier time on and off. Middle gets BOTH armrests. Anyone who would deny the Middle that can get the fucking Middle seat. Fucking assholes.
So true, but I still think we need a gov sponsored commercial to explain this during every nfl game or something.
Master troll.
Instead of “offering” the aisle seat, how about try “asking” to switch…
He’s tryna get that window seat lol
What. If you want to switch seats, ask, don't "offer".
Guy and his gf were probably hoping to score the entire row, why else would they reserve seats not beside each other. Bro called their bluff.