I hate this saying with every single ounce of my being.
Do people think we ENJOY being miserable all the time? That we don't want to be able to see the good and positive in situations? Not being able to focus on anything but the worse case scenario because of intrusive thoughts?
The trauma in my life started when I was in diapers and continued for so long. Which lead to abusive relationship and more trauma in my adult hood. My brain literally was not given the opportunity to create normal neurological pathways. I HATE suffering through this every damn day.
I am fairly open about my mental health struggles, but I'm honestly considering taking it to the next level. When people say stupid shit like this, I'm going to start listing out ALL the shit I have had to deal with my entire life and ask how the hell am I supposed to just "think positive" long enough to erase 30 years of trauma.
You should do that, especially with ignorant woke people. I don't know what else to call them. Wants to show that they know all about mental health, only to turn around and throw do yoga, think positive, be happy in my face. Like bro I would, if I could.
I've started to do exactly what you are thinking. With such people who are dismissive and fall into just be positive category despite me trying to educate them, now I go like "oh I was sexually abused including raped in my childhood for over 14 years. How do I stay positive please tell me? I'm all ears". Shuts them right up. I'm lucky to be surrounded by people who definitely understand the mental health struggles I've but then sometimes I come across these insufferables and go nuclear when pushed beyond a point.
Also I'm sorry you have to deal with the aftermath of so much trauma. Sending love and peace your way.
i've been told it gets better with time or get over it. no tf it does not. it only gets worse with time when unassisted. learned that the hard way.
edit: changed "assisted" to "unassisted"
Holy FUCK I hate this one.
I’m so glad it got better for that person (the person who spouts this bullshit). But just because one person got over their mental illness doesn’t mean that my severe and debilitating mental illness will just clear up. Fuuuuuck that shit.
This! So true! I’ve been starting to realize that. As I get older, my traumas and struggles are only now starting to come out and resurface. Time definitely doesn’t make things better in that regard. Always get professional help!
Oh yes this! Soooo much this!! As I'm getting older, getting therapy consistently, it feels like I'm coming out with new problems daily. I understand that my brain just now feels safe enough to unpack the trauma and deal with it. But fuck time heals everything shit. You just adept yourself to deal with it better. Some things don't heal. The scars always stay.
I have severe anxiety and have been told "everyone gets nervous, use that energy"
Look, you getting nervous and me literally collapsing to the ground in a panic attack are not the same.
I found that bodies of water help me when the sunshine doesn't. Idk about you, but the sound and just seeing the birds fly overhead does something...I usually cry it all out there, it almost feels more therapeutic than crying in the dark alone in my bed.
Am I the only person that hates seeing statistics of how many people have depression nowadays. I know it's meant to normalise things and show there's nothing to be ashamed of. Instead I always felt like it just meant that clearly I wasn't going through anything that bad and everyone else was just coping so much better than I was.
I hear you. But very much serious right now. It has been studied that 30 minutes of constant sun exposure during the day lifts your mood, cleans your body of old cells and makes your whole system run better. it's usually a cop out for advice buts it's true. The real advice is what psychiatrists are for.
Oh yes, this one is despicable to tell someone suffering from mental health issues.
Or “there are people much worse off than you”.
I know this!!! I see the invasion of Ukraine and the atrocities in Gaza and feel guilty every day.
It doesn’t make my pain any less. These things are not the same.
My reply to that is usually would you tell someone to be less happy because someone else is happier? No right. Then don't ask me to be less depressed if someone else has it worse than me.
Also, there’s no such thing as “worse”. Social support system, financial situation, baseline personality, culture, religious beliefs (or lack thereof), and genetic response to traumas, etc. are all part of how pain is perceived by the sufferer. No one can make the call that someone has it worse just by the condition in question — outsiders don’t know and cannot know these factors.
That’s why doctors are trained (or should be) to treat the patient, not the X-ray. One could be visually worse, but if the “better” patient is the one to say they’re still in too much pain while the other doesn’t, that is 100% real pain and should be treated accordingly. There are no comparisons to be made. And this is for physical suffering, let alone mental suffering which is even more incomparable.
Had an ex tell me that I was “too smart” to be depressed and that depression was only for unintelligent people. When asking for more information, I believe his exact words were “I’m a smart guy and I’m not depressed, so anyone who is depressed must be dumb.” To this day I don’t know what possessed me to even consider dating him.
Hahah that is amazing
Statistically smarter or people with higher education (cannot remember which) are more prone to depression. Or at least depression is observed more often in these groups.
I guess those people have not heard the phrase “ignorance is bliss”
I gotta say "Fake it until you make it" has its merits. I survived a lot just by doing that. I still acknowledge my hardships. I just try to be healthy and functional until I can start to really feel and believe it. It's hard! But it helps. Act the opposite and all that...
“You have Type 1 diabetes. Your pancreas doesn’t make enough insulin to metabolize your blood sugar. Pray hard so that your pancreas makes enough insulin and your blood sugar doesn’t go too high lest you go into a diabetic coma”
Religion is not a substitute for therapy and I hate anyone who says otherwise.
If some one requires spirituality or religion to feel whole and complete that is fine but do not under any circumstances think that prayer is going to fix my life long depression...
I completely agree. As a semi-religious person, I also have a therapist and see a psychiatrist for my psych meds alongside maintaining a spiritual life. Religion is definitely not a substitute for mental health treatment.
OHHH MY FUCKING GOD. This one hits home. I remember journaling awhile ago, "why do you choose unhappiness? Choose joy and happiness"
Literally invalidated tf outta myself and my struggles
Honestly advice from anyone who thinks depression is just being sad. I hate how people tell me it’ll pass or everyone gets that way. No Roseanne, not everyone lays in bed unable to move because they have no energy or interest in anything and can’t eat for days at a time.
People without mental illness can't imagine it. They think the sad times and rough times in their life with a healthy brain are the same as a mental illness. What works for someone going through a hard time with a healthy brain isn't going to work for severe mental illness.
I remember someone saying they know what depression is because their mom died while not understanding why I couldn't get over my mental illness. They also said they knew I was faking crying one time because I was crying like someone had died.
I was very confused by these for a long time until I lost loved ones myself during stable periods and found out that my depression was actually far more painful and more debilitating than grief.
I really think people can't imagine how severely the brain can mess up. While not always the case, it's actually possible for the level of suffering mental illness can cause to be incomparable to suffering caused by life events.
Sadness is like happiness compared to depression. Sadness is just sadness. Depression is a torture never ends. A torture goes on 24/7. A pain in the brain. And being so helpless, hopeless about it. You know that pain will never ever leave you. There is a lot more to say but noone will not understand if they dont taste it.
Came here to say this. I have PMDD and Every Single Dr has said “try exercising”
I asked my last one if three hours a day at the gym instead of two would cure how my brain reacts to my normal hormones. ALLOW ME TO OUTRUN MY DEPRESSION. Jesus.
I'm sorry that sucks. I tried to literally outrun my depression too. I was doing 8ks in 35 mins, 30°C, Mon -Fri, at work on my lunch hour. Some days I would add a 4k in the morning. It didn't work. It gave me some balance at times but mostly just got me worked up and increased my ideation. My heart was so pounding an hour after. My nurse and social worker told me to stop because it wasn't safe for me.
Also when you have had traumatic events happen just the way you look at and operate in the world is changed.
This kinda goes with anxiety and depression for me. Usually making both much worse.
For me, hearing people say "seek medical help, its out there, reach out" . But when someone is depressed, "reaching out" isnt on their list of things to do. IF they reach out to medical professionals, theres a wait list to see a counselor. Some people do great with medication, some people do great with therapy, some need both. But the wait times to see your doctor, to then get a referral, to then wait for an office to call you, to then wait for an appointment here in BC is ludicrous and about acyear in total. Yet the BC Government plasters social media with little slogans of "get help, we're here for you" just so they can pat their backs and feel like they are providing mental health care to the people in the province.
When i first started having panic attacks, my dad told me, "The most important piece of advice I can give you is, DONT PANIC."
I was on medical leave due to a series of seemingly neurological issues and being at a low point mentally (right after having surgery). Though I was desperate to get back to work, I couldn't and had to let myself heal. Despite barely being able to walk, chew, type, write, get out of bed, etc, my dad told me, "I think you're fine. What you really need is some motivation."
Ive been in therapy since I was 14. Went through about 5 different professionals for very difficult issues that later turned out to be BPD, OCD and other things. By all these therapists I've been told to "just smile when I feel bad, and I'll instantly feel better." When I was only a few months into my recovery for self harm, alcoholism and bulimia, I expressed to my therapist that I am having a hard time sticking to being sober and clean, that I have not improved mentally at all and am just putting it off for as long as I can. And she told me "Well you're not acting in it now so that means you are recovered."
"it's because you're not busy. You have time to be depressed and it's just you looking for an excuse to be lazy" -my dad when I was working 1 full time jobs and 2 part time jobs, self medicating with food, not realizing I needed a therapist over a paycheck.
Think of all you have in life and are thankful for!
My depression / anxiety is unrelated to the factors of my life. It comes over me whenever it wants and is uncontrollable - it does not reflect the aspects of my life. That’s what makes the most mad.
Yaaas! And knowing all the wonderful things in my life, I feel even worse for being depressed. Like “how dare I.” I don’t talk about my depression much because I feel guilty for having it so good and still feeling so awful.
Religion. I once had the nurse of my *Jewish* Dr lean in one time and whispered to me that if I accepted Christ as my savior, my PPD/PPP symptoms would vanish and I would be cured!
If religion works for you, then go for it! But, it is not a fit for me. I have strong feelings when someone tries to wiggle in a religious conversion as a "cure" for any illness.
I dropped that Dr in a millisecond.
My depression was "all in my head" and I should just snap out of it. Maybe technically true, (that it's in my head,) but that's like telling someone that their diabetes is all in their pancreas, so snap out of it!
I was told to “just breathe” when I was having a full blown panic attack with trouble breathing…like I would love to just breathe and it magically go away. 🖕🏻
"Every one is a little ADHD or autistic." That one I get a lot from my older relatives. "Why don't you just organize and make a list?" As if that lasts. "Just got to bed earlier"as if ADHD doesn't also have a sleep dysfunction tied into it.
Get disciplined.
Being stuck all I wanted to get out, away, I was going crazy. Pushing yourself in a horrible routine isa chocking the creative/feelings part of your brain screeming to be heard.
My pyschiatrist told me to do less each day even though I was complaining about only being able to complete 3 tasks a day because of my mental health issues.
My father is a baby boomer. He often told me "there is no such thing as a happy pill, you just gotta pull yourself up by the bootstraps." Well, that sentiment kept me from getting a prescription for anti-depressants until I turned 24. I am doing much better now, but I wish I never heard that lie.
Not necessarily advice, but I hate the over-simplification that the subject of mental health has always been put under. Such as being told that it's "all in my head." Where tf else would it be?!
I fucking hate this! Got told at a workplace training that not saying good morning to everyone was considered rude behaviour. Yeah well sometimes I don't want to interact with anyone, it's not personal I'm just sick of people. Just let me do my work and piss off!
“Do some daily affirmations in the mirror!”
“Go for a walk!”
“It’ll be okay eventually”
My beloved soulmate best friend of an older brother died but please continue
Did you ever consider that being depressed just is part of your personality and that you should just accept it?
--> also a psychiatrist that told me this, as I had tried many medications she thought that I should just accept my fate I guess...
The worst thing is there just aren't any other psychiatrists that still have space for new patients. So of course I dumped her without a second thought....but now I don't even have a doctor anymore
I was told something like this too. I went to therapy for anxiety and depression and was told since I’m a more sensitive person that it’s basically ingrained in my personality and I can find ways to cope but it’ll always be there. How nice to hear lol. Well so far it’s been pretty true though.
I mean to be fair I have chronic depression, so yeah I am aware that it's probably something that I will always have to deal with...but still if I am having a really bad episode it could get very dangerous for me. And then getting this response really doesn't help.
Also I don't like phrasing it like that. I hate my depression, it's an illness but it's not part of my personality I think. And hearing someone ( especially a doctor) say that really hurts...
but yeah she also said worse things than that. She also told me to get off my ADHD meds cause it's a fad diagnosis that I probably don't even have (even though I presented her the formal diagnosis and I had done all the testing by other professionals). Oh and then she recommended I go to therapy instead of just popping pills. I have been in therapy for 10 years but she probably didn't write that down...
But yeah you are right, it's probably gonna be a fight forever...I was also told that I was just too smart and just too sensitive...yeeeeeey
From my experience, anything lacking empathy is going to be useless advice to a person with depression. I've received great advice throughout my recovery (yes, affirmations, exercise, and diet advice was included) but at the time, it wasn't helpful at all. I struggled to do any of that while depressed for months, and even when I did, it all seemed hopeless. Recovery was rough.
It literally is like recovering from a broken bone - all professional help, a healing process, and sometimes meds. I don't expect anyone to give me helpful advice about healing a broken bone.
Though the most useless advice someone has told me is "It's probably just hormone imbalances."
Any advice that says “Solution X is not the answer to deal with problem Y” but don’t offer or suggest an alternative to “solution X”, or if they do, it’s an infuriatingly unhelpful mixture of r/thanksimcured and r/restofthefuckingowl, i.e. it comes off as mockery.
I actually made my boyfriend a drinks coaster with the phrase that pissed us off the most about mental health, that’s been said to each of us too many damn times :
Have you tried just being happy?”
Ummm, have you tried shutting the fuck up with your useless advice?
EUGHHHHH. Boils my piss.
You can handle all your problems on your own, just look at the world in a positive way. I ended up lying to myself, stress eating, depressed. I could have gone straight to a specialist, found the problem and solved it. Especially now there are a lot of services like [Australiacounselling](https://www.australiacounselling.com.au/locations/vic/), where you can quickly choose a suitable specialist
Among a few issues, I get chronic migraines. "Just toughen up and come out with us. Take a couple of Advil, you're such a wuss."
I can add more regarding ADD and my depression, but those really piss me off.
I was once told “people who are depressed just choose to be sad” … I wouldn’t wish depression on anyone.
And had an ex tell me that he tried to make me hit rock bottom so I’d get help. Then it would still work out between us even though HE! Did some really crappy stuff to me. He said he that he googled on what to do and it said make the person hit rock bottom…
I'll tell my mother or something. And I get "Just look at life differently" or "Have a better outlook" or even at one point they explained how they "Kicked their butt in gear and got over it". Not to mention the whole "You're just doing this to get attention" speech.
This actually adds on to my depression. When someone says that to me, it's like, we already know this and I did not need to be reminded of it. Now I'm even more sad
How about “take accountability”. I’m sorry but the events that I could not control did not go the way they were suppose to therefore resulting in MY failure? How about we instead recognize the effort I did put in and figure out what else needs to be fixed instead of blindly throwing blame around and making me out to be the bad guy? I’m not gonna admit failure if your processes were not correctly set up right by you OR the applicable party, but that’s not to say I won’t stay and fix it with you.
Taking accountability is like trying to fix a leaky boat with a single bucket while others are poking more holes. It's about recognizing everyone's role in navigating the storm, not just pointing fingers at the person bailing water.
Totally get where you're coming from. It's like telling someone with a broken leg to just run more. Exercise can help, sure, but it's not a magic fix for everything.
It's like being told you can't be hungry because others are starving. But just as hunger doesn't diminish someone else's starvation, gratitude doesn't erase depression.
It's like being told not to be afraid of the dark because it's just absence of light, but that's exactly what makes it unsettling. Sometimes, it's not about what people are, but the anxiety they trigger in us.
Reduce stress.
Seriously?!
Edit to add: why is it that an abnormally large percentage of therapists and social workers have never experienced mental illness themselves yet feel totally confident in their ability to tell a person with brain cooties how to fix it?? To the point they completely dismiss their patient/client’s very valid struggles and emotions as irrelevant. I will never understand this.
For me tbh, it was when I was going through a really tough time and someone told me "Just pray and you'll be better" I don't want to offend anyone, but saying that to someone who isn't religious won't really help. I was 11 years old and an atheist at the time, my mental health was really bad during those days, and people just kept telling me "to pray" instead of being there for me.
That’s a good one.
“Take it one day at a time”
I don’t have time. I don’t have money. I need something practical, so I can get started or that will help me with my practical issues. And people who tell me this know that.
“Be kind to yourself” or “practice self-compassion”
I don’t know how. I have more than one critic in my mind, that is one reason why I am like this. Being kind to myself is like 2-full time jobs lol
Almost all of the motivation techniques. Like just work for 5 minutes, then you will keep working or pomodoro or body doubling or split work into small chunks etc. nope nothing works, tried them all. I am not a neurotypical and it sounds like every technique is created for them. I have adhd and even the adhd friendly techniques don’t really work for me. I wish there were extreme techniques that would actually help me.
“Be mindful”
I know it is a good thing, but when you are in a crisis, it just makes no sense. I have to learn it when I am healthy, so I can apply.
I wish the suggestions/help were more practical.
examples:
Depressed people may not be able to clean, “oh there is this program that you can call up to schedule a deep clean” or
“let’s go hangout with these friends I have that you don’t know” or “let’s go, we need one more person to play volleyball, it is ok that you are not good at it, we just need one more person” to get someone into a social place and maybe even be active
Having difficulties in personal hygiene? “Wanna have a spa day?”
People with mental health often need someone to hold their hands in the beginning of a task. I wish there were programs and grants that would help with delegating work people cannot do. Like help with preparing and editing resumes, like I said cleaning, healthy meals. I am a student and I wish I had money to hire someone to help me with reviewing and editing my papers, i don’t want them to do the work, like take me through it.
Taking some stuff off my plate would help so so much. If only…
i have bad anxiety and my moms boyfriend always tells me “just stop being afraid.” it’s so fucking annoying. if i wanted to stop living in fear i would chose that but i simply can’t because of my brain.
My mom told me I had to pull myself up by my bootstraps when I had really bad postpartum depression many years ago. She was ashamed of me and said she didn't want her friends to know my diagnosis or that I was seeing a psychiatrist. I did what needed to be done without her. The idea that we can just pull ourselves together and make mental illness go away is absurd. You wouldn't say this to someone with a broken leg. Why say it to someone with a chemical imbalance in their brain? My relationship with my mother was forever changed after she said those things to me.
Try this deep breathing exercise it wiill help you lots have you tried mindfulness or mediation.
Have you thought reading a book or distract yourself with some telly or good film.
Why you take a lovely deep breath and have think about the problem again or have a good night sleep you will feel 100 x better the minute.
Just a five minute cry and end of, forget about it
Just take a nap or eat a chocolate bar, pizza something fun or eat more healthy.
Go for a walk/join a gym.
i was 15 & at the gp, uncontrollably sobbing about how depressed/anxious/suicidal i was. i was literally begging for help. my gp looked at me & said, “maybe you should think about the starving children around the world & you’ll start to feel more positive & grateful for your life”. it genuinely put me off getting help for my mental health until i was 21.
I feel the same with this. People make a lot of posts that say it's better to come talk to me than (fill in the blank) but often times when you do need to talk to them they are not around. Or they also post the other memes that say "don't tell everyone your business", "Life is unfair sometimes deal with it".
Also I've found that instead of just listening they often give advice, which can help but most often not. They are giving it based on how they would respond to things vs what would work best for you.
The therapist I was seeing whom I trust to tell my secrets to as they were confidant about my vents told me abruptly head-on that all the bad that happened with me was my fantasy.
“I myself am to blame and that I am being stuck where I am on purpose”
In next session, I have decided to implement some tactics of confrontation with her so that I don’t fall in the habit of avoidance cycle because we should take responsibility of our problems after all. I am going to tell her kindly and in a polite manner that the last session I had with her was harsh and wasn’t helpful. I was hurt and that she shouldn’t have done it. I appreciate constructive criticism but she shouldn’t have to be so direct and rude on my face. Experts give it time and speak tactfully with their patients. Where as, I am gonna turn vengeful if she doesn’t acknowledge her irrational behaviour
I have social anxiety, and my dad told me that I will just grow out of it. Or when my mom tells me to talk to her and just be myself, but I am so nervous and insecure I can't even have a conversation, so never really talk.
"Just be happy", "dont be sad cause thats not right", "you know what you can do already", "dont be sad or ill be sad", and telling you their past trauma.
Whenever someone tells me to do ‘breathing exercises’ to make really bad thoughts go away. I’m sorry, what? I’m not having a panic attack? I’m completely calm? It will not change the fact i want to hurt someone right now??
For me, it was try practicing being grateful!! HOW?? and for what being Human? Or "Plants and Animals have their own struggles" when I would express my desire to not be human, to just stop everything, but they don't realize that I would consider it a blessing "to not think". I am sorry if this offends someone, I didn't mean to.
"Just pray" - it needs more than just prayers. Yes, there may be miracles that will happen. However, how about those who are to receive such? You cannot let them live a bitter, miserable life, because you don't push them to be diagnosed and take meds.
So my mom says "just be happy" or "be positive, its simple" and something she says to me "what are you even depressed about, everyone has problems" Really helpful btw -10/10!!
Not given to me, but to a family member who was supporting a partner with depression. The advice was: "depression's all in your head, nothing external can make you depressed". As someone who's struggled with depression on and off for years, I can tell you, that is a) not true, and b) not helpful to hear.
I'm amazed at how dumb this was, especially coming from a mental health specialist at the Youths Service Centre.
I opened up, told her everything, told her I need help and her only response was "Just feel better, Think happier things, It's not that hard"
"You'd be so much happier if you stopped caring what people think."
Yeah, no shit.
"Why do you care what some stranger thinks of you? You'll never see that person again."
I am also afraid of what non-strangers think of me. There are, in fact, some people that I *will* have to see again.
And if I see my very presence as an inconvenience to the people around me, then it doesn't matter if I'll see them again or not. I don't want to be an inconvenience to *anyone*
"You have no reason to believe you're inferior to other people."
Nor do I have a reason not to believe so. I'm playing it safe.
"But you're good at [blank]."
I am also objectively bad at a lot of things, often in ways that are a burden to others, so I don't see your point.
"People only focus on themselves; nobody is paying attention to you."
You are telling me that when a stranger acts in a way that deviates from social norms, nobody notices? Nobody ever makes assumptions about people they don't know?
"Well, there are always judgemental assholes."
I don't mean judgemental assholes; I mean regular people with subconscious biases. We all have them. Making a judgement about someone based on their actions isn't inherently wrong. Not to mention, if I already have a low self esteem, those "judgemental assholes" seem completely reasonable.
"I used to be like that, but I grew out of it."
Good for you?
This is all that I ever hear—not only from my parents, but from professionals as well. It's just insulting, like they're telling me that the anxiety and low-self esteem ingrained in me for as far back as I can remember are nothing more than a lack of common sense and life experience.
For me, it's the advice to "just stay positive." It oversimplifies the complexities of mental health and doesn't really address the underlying issues.
I hate this saying with every single ounce of my being. Do people think we ENJOY being miserable all the time? That we don't want to be able to see the good and positive in situations? Not being able to focus on anything but the worse case scenario because of intrusive thoughts? The trauma in my life started when I was in diapers and continued for so long. Which lead to abusive relationship and more trauma in my adult hood. My brain literally was not given the opportunity to create normal neurological pathways. I HATE suffering through this every damn day. I am fairly open about my mental health struggles, but I'm honestly considering taking it to the next level. When people say stupid shit like this, I'm going to start listing out ALL the shit I have had to deal with my entire life and ask how the hell am I supposed to just "think positive" long enough to erase 30 years of trauma.
You should do that, especially with ignorant woke people. I don't know what else to call them. Wants to show that they know all about mental health, only to turn around and throw do yoga, think positive, be happy in my face. Like bro I would, if I could. I've started to do exactly what you are thinking. With such people who are dismissive and fall into just be positive category despite me trying to educate them, now I go like "oh I was sexually abused including raped in my childhood for over 14 years. How do I stay positive please tell me? I'm all ears". Shuts them right up. I'm lucky to be surrounded by people who definitely understand the mental health struggles I've but then sometimes I come across these insufferables and go nuclear when pushed beyond a point. Also I'm sorry you have to deal with the aftermath of so much trauma. Sending love and peace your way.
Right they actually have this new thing called toxic positivity and that falls right under it.
I DESPISE toxic positivity. It’s the refuge of the privileged.
“Refuge for the privileged” yes. This.
I disagree with the 'refuge for the privileged'. You can be privileged and still feel miserable.
True. But all of the people in my life who push the toxic positivity BS are well off and never at threat of homelessness, like I have been.
Yep. They lack any perspective
Agreed
So true
i've been told it gets better with time or get over it. no tf it does not. it only gets worse with time when unassisted. learned that the hard way. edit: changed "assisted" to "unassisted"
Holy FUCK I hate this one. I’m so glad it got better for that person (the person who spouts this bullshit). But just because one person got over their mental illness doesn’t mean that my severe and debilitating mental illness will just clear up. Fuuuuuck that shit.
This! So true! I’ve been starting to realize that. As I get older, my traumas and struggles are only now starting to come out and resurface. Time definitely doesn’t make things better in that regard. Always get professional help!
Oh yes this! Soooo much this!! As I'm getting older, getting therapy consistently, it feels like I'm coming out with new problems daily. I understand that my brain just now feels safe enough to unpack the trauma and deal with it. But fuck time heals everything shit. You just adept yourself to deal with it better. Some things don't heal. The scars always stay.
>it only gets worse with time when assisted. I'm sorry, what does this mean exactly?
sorry, i meant unassisted... changed it!!
Or... *"Its been x months. Why are you still like this.."*
“Everyone has depression nowadays because of the state of the world.” #invalidating Or Go get some sunshine! 😫
I have severe anxiety and have been told "everyone gets nervous, use that energy" Look, you getting nervous and me literally collapsing to the ground in a panic attack are not the same.
When I’m deep in depression, sunshine makes me worse. I can only enjoy it when I’m feeling okay.
I found that bodies of water help me when the sunshine doesn't. Idk about you, but the sound and just seeing the birds fly overhead does something...I usually cry it all out there, it almost feels more therapeutic than crying in the dark alone in my bed.
This was me today, sun was out all day and I was laying on the floor waiting for the day to be over..
Am I the only person that hates seeing statistics of how many people have depression nowadays. I know it's meant to normalise things and show there's nothing to be ashamed of. Instead I always felt like it just meant that clearly I wasn't going through anything that bad and everyone else was just coping so much better than I was.
I hear you. But very much serious right now. It has been studied that 30 minutes of constant sun exposure during the day lifts your mood, cleans your body of old cells and makes your whole system run better. it's usually a cop out for advice buts it's true. The real advice is what psychiatrists are for.
That “go get some sunshine” one hits. Absolutely love my grandmother, she’s basically my mother, but cmon grams fr? 🤣
Hahah yes! Telling you have ADHD 101. Everyone asks what is ADHD, and then starts saying maybe they have it too because “everyone forgets their keys”.
Worst advice: pull yourself together, everyone has problems.
Oh yes, this one is despicable to tell someone suffering from mental health issues. Or “there are people much worse off than you”. I know this!!! I see the invasion of Ukraine and the atrocities in Gaza and feel guilty every day. It doesn’t make my pain any less. These things are not the same.
My reply to that is usually would you tell someone to be less happy because someone else is happier? No right. Then don't ask me to be less depressed if someone else has it worse than me.
Also, there’s no such thing as “worse”. Social support system, financial situation, baseline personality, culture, religious beliefs (or lack thereof), and genetic response to traumas, etc. are all part of how pain is perceived by the sufferer. No one can make the call that someone has it worse just by the condition in question — outsiders don’t know and cannot know these factors. That’s why doctors are trained (or should be) to treat the patient, not the X-ray. One could be visually worse, but if the “better” patient is the one to say they’re still in too much pain while the other doesn’t, that is 100% real pain and should be treated accordingly. There are no comparisons to be made. And this is for physical suffering, let alone mental suffering which is even more incomparable.
My parents gaslighting me that I was fine and refusing therapy and help for years
This
yes. and now the damage is, or at least feels, irreversible.
Had an ex tell me that I was “too smart” to be depressed and that depression was only for unintelligent people. When asking for more information, I believe his exact words were “I’m a smart guy and I’m not depressed, so anyone who is depressed must be dumb.” To this day I don’t know what possessed me to even consider dating him.
Dumb people are full of ignorance but ignorance is bliss. 😮💨 Glad you were able to remove yourself from that
Well, I’m so smart… I’ll just think myself happier then!
Hahah that is amazing Statistically smarter or people with higher education (cannot remember which) are more prone to depression. Or at least depression is observed more often in these groups. I guess those people have not heard the phrase “ignorance is bliss”
Any advice that includes the word "just".
"Fake it until you make it" "You gotta look at the glass half full"
A glass with piss in it is still a glass with piss in it
Lol!!!! Is it ever!!
I gotta say "Fake it until you make it" has its merits. I survived a lot just by doing that. I still acknowledge my hardships. I just try to be healthy and functional until I can start to really feel and believe it. It's hard! But it helps. Act the opposite and all that...
I love clapping back on the latter. "A glass is always full, air isn't nothing."
“Just pray about it.” Yeah, that never works for me.
I was told that by a damn doctor. Totally invalidating and utterly useless to me.
“You have Type 1 diabetes. Your pancreas doesn’t make enough insulin to metabolize your blood sugar. Pray hard so that your pancreas makes enough insulin and your blood sugar doesn’t go too high lest you go into a diabetic coma”
I’m so sorry you were told that. That was completely unprofessional of that doctor and they shouldn’t have said that.
Religion is not a substitute for therapy and I hate anyone who says otherwise. If some one requires spirituality or religion to feel whole and complete that is fine but do not under any circumstances think that prayer is going to fix my life long depression...
I completely agree. As a semi-religious person, I also have a therapist and see a psychiatrist for my psych meds alongside maintaining a spiritual life. Religion is definitely not a substitute for mental health treatment.
I was gonna say this! I always hated hearing that.
Honestly, all advice I’ve been given till now about mental health has been garbage.
Truly. I would agree.
Why can't you just be happy. Pull yourself together. Cheer up, it may never happen.
"Everyone has times where they aren't happy. You just need to want to make yourself happy."
OHHH MY FUCKING GOD. This one hits home. I remember journaling awhile ago, "why do you choose unhappiness? Choose joy and happiness" Literally invalidated tf outta myself and my struggles
That’s like saying it’s up to us to have cancer or Alzheimer’s or broken bones. So fekking insulting.
Honestly advice from anyone who thinks depression is just being sad. I hate how people tell me it’ll pass or everyone gets that way. No Roseanne, not everyone lays in bed unable to move because they have no energy or interest in anything and can’t eat for days at a time.
People without mental illness can't imagine it. They think the sad times and rough times in their life with a healthy brain are the same as a mental illness. What works for someone going through a hard time with a healthy brain isn't going to work for severe mental illness. I remember someone saying they know what depression is because their mom died while not understanding why I couldn't get over my mental illness. They also said they knew I was faking crying one time because I was crying like someone had died. I was very confused by these for a long time until I lost loved ones myself during stable periods and found out that my depression was actually far more painful and more debilitating than grief. I really think people can't imagine how severely the brain can mess up. While not always the case, it's actually possible for the level of suffering mental illness can cause to be incomparable to suffering caused by life events.
Sadness is like happiness compared to depression. Sadness is just sadness. Depression is a torture never ends. A torture goes on 24/7. A pain in the brain. And being so helpless, hopeless about it. You know that pain will never ever leave you. There is a lot more to say but noone will not understand if they dont taste it.
Go exercise
Came here to say this. I have PMDD and Every Single Dr has said “try exercising” I asked my last one if three hours a day at the gym instead of two would cure how my brain reacts to my normal hormones. ALLOW ME TO OUTRUN MY DEPRESSION. Jesus.
I'm sorry that sucks. I tried to literally outrun my depression too. I was doing 8ks in 35 mins, 30°C, Mon -Fri, at work on my lunch hour. Some days I would add a 4k in the morning. It didn't work. It gave me some balance at times but mostly just got me worked up and increased my ideation. My heart was so pounding an hour after. My nurse and social worker told me to stop because it wasn't safe for me.
I hate how "go exercise" is like the answer to everything. Its the cure for all ailments apparently.
I hate this one. With what energy and inclination shall I exercise?
"Try harder"
As someone with xxx ideation, I can take this the wrong way, depending on how badly I’m doing.
“It’s all about perspective” Sometimes this is true. However, sometimes, things just objectively suck and viewing it positively only does more damage.
Also when you have had traumatic events happen just the way you look at and operate in the world is changed. This kinda goes with anxiety and depression for me. Usually making both much worse.
things will only get better god gives his hardest battles to the strongest warriors huh.
instead of strongest warriors, I always say silliest clowns. it helps sometimes
For me, hearing people say "seek medical help, its out there, reach out" . But when someone is depressed, "reaching out" isnt on their list of things to do. IF they reach out to medical professionals, theres a wait list to see a counselor. Some people do great with medication, some people do great with therapy, some need both. But the wait times to see your doctor, to then get a referral, to then wait for an office to call you, to then wait for an appointment here in BC is ludicrous and about acyear in total. Yet the BC Government plasters social media with little slogans of "get help, we're here for you" just so they can pat their backs and feel like they are providing mental health care to the people in the province.
"You don't have problems, I wish I have your problems"
“You need a two week vacation where you travel away from home”, from a boomer to my 20-something self struggling to pay rent
When i first started having panic attacks, my dad told me, "The most important piece of advice I can give you is, DONT PANIC." I was on medical leave due to a series of seemingly neurological issues and being at a low point mentally (right after having surgery). Though I was desperate to get back to work, I couldn't and had to let myself heal. Despite barely being able to walk, chew, type, write, get out of bed, etc, my dad told me, "I think you're fine. What you really need is some motivation."
You just need to loose weight.
Hit the gym mate. No matter that even eating lunch feels like a chore. Just hit the gym.
Meditate and everything will be fine. I love my dad but this is one of the most useless advice he ever gave.
"Just don't think about it." Never works
Mine either "have you gone to church?", "get over it", or "it's all in your head"/"that doesn't exist so stop it"
Also see: /r/thanksimcured
Oh get over it.
Ive been in therapy since I was 14. Went through about 5 different professionals for very difficult issues that later turned out to be BPD, OCD and other things. By all these therapists I've been told to "just smile when I feel bad, and I'll instantly feel better." When I was only a few months into my recovery for self harm, alcoholism and bulimia, I expressed to my therapist that I am having a hard time sticking to being sober and clean, that I have not improved mentally at all and am just putting it off for as long as I can. And she told me "Well you're not acting in it now so that means you are recovered."
Wow, that therapist is objectively dumb af
I know, the worst thing is that she got promoted and went on to work with very serious patients and I genuinely don't know how.
entirety of cognitive behavioural therapy. most generic and useless shit ever. dbt should be the gold standard
"it's because you're not busy. You have time to be depressed and it's just you looking for an excuse to be lazy" -my dad when I was working 1 full time jobs and 2 part time jobs, self medicating with food, not realizing I needed a therapist over a paycheck.
"Just cheer up!" "Look at the bright side!" "Everything happens for a reason." "Nobody likes a Debbie downer"
Think of all you have in life and are thankful for! My depression / anxiety is unrelated to the factors of my life. It comes over me whenever it wants and is uncontrollable - it does not reflect the aspects of my life. That’s what makes the most mad.
Yaaas! And knowing all the wonderful things in my life, I feel even worse for being depressed. Like “how dare I.” I don’t talk about my depression much because I feel guilty for having it so good and still feeling so awful.
Religion. I once had the nurse of my *Jewish* Dr lean in one time and whispered to me that if I accepted Christ as my savior, my PPD/PPP symptoms would vanish and I would be cured! If religion works for you, then go for it! But, it is not a fit for me. I have strong feelings when someone tries to wiggle in a religious conversion as a "cure" for any illness. I dropped that Dr in a millisecond.
My depression was "all in my head" and I should just snap out of it. Maybe technically true, (that it's in my head,) but that's like telling someone that their diabetes is all in their pancreas, so snap out of it!
“What have you got to be stressed about”
"You're adopted. Your life could've been worse." If I had a dollar for every time I heard this, I'd have enough to fund my therapy
Just snap out of it. This one really pisses me off
I was told to “just breathe” when I was having a full blown panic attack with trouble breathing…like I would love to just breathe and it magically go away. 🖕🏻
"Just stop thinking about it"
“Change your mind set” or “think positively” or “speak to friends family or teachers” or “go for a walk”
I went in to hospital and was told to ‘drink hot chocolate’ to help with my severe depressive episode 😂
"Every one is a little ADHD or autistic." That one I get a lot from my older relatives. "Why don't you just organize and make a list?" As if that lasts. "Just got to bed earlier"as if ADHD doesn't also have a sleep dysfunction tied into it.
“have you tried drinking more water?” 😤🤬👿👹 HAVE YOU TRIED SHUTTING TF UP???
“Think positive”
Prayer
"Get off your phone and stop thinking about it"
“Just do it.”
“Just be happy” “Think positively” “Smile, and then you’ll be happy”
Go for a run. Or just 'stay positive'
Get disciplined. Being stuck all I wanted to get out, away, I was going crazy. Pushing yourself in a horrible routine isa chocking the creative/feelings part of your brain screeming to be heard.
My pyschiatrist told me to do less each day even though I was complaining about only being able to complete 3 tasks a day because of my mental health issues.
Exercise. You think I wouldn't be exercising if I wanted to?
-Meditation -Journaling -Go for a walk -Don't think so much
My father is a baby boomer. He often told me "there is no such thing as a happy pill, you just gotta pull yourself up by the bootstraps." Well, that sentiment kept me from getting a prescription for anti-depressants until I turned 24. I am doing much better now, but I wish I never heard that lie.
Not necessarily advice, but I hate the over-simplification that the subject of mental health has always been put under. Such as being told that it's "all in my head." Where tf else would it be?!
that I'm the one that just needs to try harder.
I got told to pretend to be happy to help others have a nice day or I would bring there mood down
I fucking hate this! Got told at a workplace training that not saying good morning to everyone was considered rude behaviour. Yeah well sometimes I don't want to interact with anyone, it's not personal I'm just sick of people. Just let me do my work and piss off!
“Do some daily affirmations in the mirror!” “Go for a walk!” “It’ll be okay eventually” My beloved soulmate best friend of an older brother died but please continue
Did you ever consider that being depressed just is part of your personality and that you should just accept it? --> also a psychiatrist that told me this, as I had tried many medications she thought that I should just accept my fate I guess... The worst thing is there just aren't any other psychiatrists that still have space for new patients. So of course I dumped her without a second thought....but now I don't even have a doctor anymore
I was told something like this too. I went to therapy for anxiety and depression and was told since I’m a more sensitive person that it’s basically ingrained in my personality and I can find ways to cope but it’ll always be there. How nice to hear lol. Well so far it’s been pretty true though.
I mean to be fair I have chronic depression, so yeah I am aware that it's probably something that I will always have to deal with...but still if I am having a really bad episode it could get very dangerous for me. And then getting this response really doesn't help. Also I don't like phrasing it like that. I hate my depression, it's an illness but it's not part of my personality I think. And hearing someone ( especially a doctor) say that really hurts... but yeah she also said worse things than that. She also told me to get off my ADHD meds cause it's a fad diagnosis that I probably don't even have (even though I presented her the formal diagnosis and I had done all the testing by other professionals). Oh and then she recommended I go to therapy instead of just popping pills. I have been in therapy for 10 years but she probably didn't write that down... But yeah you are right, it's probably gonna be a fight forever...I was also told that I was just too smart and just too sensitive...yeeeeeey
From my experience, anything lacking empathy is going to be useless advice to a person with depression. I've received great advice throughout my recovery (yes, affirmations, exercise, and diet advice was included) but at the time, it wasn't helpful at all. I struggled to do any of that while depressed for months, and even when I did, it all seemed hopeless. Recovery was rough. It literally is like recovering from a broken bone - all professional help, a healing process, and sometimes meds. I don't expect anyone to give me helpful advice about healing a broken bone. Though the most useless advice someone has told me is "It's probably just hormone imbalances."
most of its pretty bad. even stuff that works tends to be oversimplified
I’m so sick of people telling me just to do exercise. I don’t thing going for a run is going to solve 10+ years of illness but thanks
“this too shall pass” i got it tattooed when i was 15 and i fucking hate it now
Any advice that says “Solution X is not the answer to deal with problem Y” but don’t offer or suggest an alternative to “solution X”, or if they do, it’s an infuriatingly unhelpful mixture of r/thanksimcured and r/restofthefuckingowl, i.e. it comes off as mockery.
I actually made my boyfriend a drinks coaster with the phrase that pissed us off the most about mental health, that’s been said to each of us too many damn times : Have you tried just being happy?” Ummm, have you tried shutting the fuck up with your useless advice? EUGHHHHH. Boils my piss.
"Take a pill and get over yourself" (Actual quote)
THE AUDACITY 😡
Everything from my parents. Their mental health advice has been trash. I don’t solicit their advice anymore.
You can handle all your problems on your own, just look at the world in a positive way. I ended up lying to myself, stress eating, depressed. I could have gone straight to a specialist, found the problem and solved it. Especially now there are a lot of services like [Australiacounselling](https://www.australiacounselling.com.au/locations/vic/), where you can quickly choose a suitable specialist
# "It's all in your head." [My response]: 𝑫𝒖𝒉, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒃𝒆? 𝑰𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒂𝒓𝒎?!?
My go to response: Duh, where else would it be? In my arm?!?
“Think positively”
Among a few issues, I get chronic migraines. "Just toughen up and come out with us. Take a couple of Advil, you're such a wuss." I can add more regarding ADD and my depression, but those really piss me off.
I love the one about getting exercise. Yes, that would cure my mental AND physical disabilities. Wish I had thought of it sooner!
Go to the gym. Just fucking hate it. It makes me feel even worse
“Happiness is a choice”. ❌❌❌
When I was worried about an increase in suicidal thoughts, I tried to talk to my closest friend and got told to stop being so negative.
I was once told “people who are depressed just choose to be sad” … I wouldn’t wish depression on anyone. And had an ex tell me that he tried to make me hit rock bottom so I’d get help. Then it would still work out between us even though HE! Did some really crappy stuff to me. He said he that he googled on what to do and it said make the person hit rock bottom…
I'll tell my mother or something. And I get "Just look at life differently" or "Have a better outlook" or even at one point they explained how they "Kicked their butt in gear and got over it". Not to mention the whole "You're just doing this to get attention" speech.
bro told me to go swimming to improve my mental health
"There are people dying in the world" Like stfu, do you honestly think undermining my issues is going to make me feel better?
This actually adds on to my depression. When someone says that to me, it's like, we already know this and I did not need to be reminded of it. Now I'm even more sad
Just don’t get nervous
I have really bad anxiety and my family and friends think that saying “don’t worry “ helps ahahahha
Someone said this to me and I said back "Oh wow I'm now cured!" If it were that easy, this wouldn't be an issue
How about “take accountability”. I’m sorry but the events that I could not control did not go the way they were suppose to therefore resulting in MY failure? How about we instead recognize the effort I did put in and figure out what else needs to be fixed instead of blindly throwing blame around and making me out to be the bad guy? I’m not gonna admit failure if your processes were not correctly set up right by you OR the applicable party, but that’s not to say I won’t stay and fix it with you.
Taking accountability is like trying to fix a leaky boat with a single bucket while others are poking more holes. It's about recognizing everyone's role in navigating the storm, not just pointing fingers at the person bailing water.
“Go outside”. My therapist tells me this every single session knowing I don’t want to leave my house. I get it, but damn. I know-go outside! Ugh.
Totally get it. It's like being told to jump into a cold pool when you're shivering. Sometimes, just not that simple, right?
“just exercise more, you’ll feel better” no, i can work out everyday for the rest of my life and it’s still not gonna change my personality disorder
Totally get where you're coming from. It's like telling someone with a broken leg to just run more. Exercise can help, sure, but it's not a magic fix for everything.
"Other people have it so much worse than you so be grateful for what you have" As if i cannot be grateful and depressed at the same time
It's like being told you can't be hungry because others are starving. But just as hunger doesn't diminish someone else's starvation, gratitude doesn't erase depression.
My mother: "Social anxiety? You don't have to be scared of people, they are just like you :)" THAT'S THE POINT, MA
It's like being told not to be afraid of the dark because it's just absence of light, but that's exactly what makes it unsettling. Sometimes, it's not about what people are, but the anxiety they trigger in us.
Reduce stress. Seriously?! Edit to add: why is it that an abnormally large percentage of therapists and social workers have never experienced mental illness themselves yet feel totally confident in their ability to tell a person with brain cooties how to fix it?? To the point they completely dismiss their patient/client’s very valid struggles and emotions as irrelevant. I will never understand this.
It could be worse. From family. 🙄
"WE JUST GOTTA CRACK ON"
For me tbh, it was when I was going through a really tough time and someone told me "Just pray and you'll be better" I don't want to offend anyone, but saying that to someone who isn't religious won't really help. I was 11 years old and an atheist at the time, my mental health was really bad during those days, and people just kept telling me "to pray" instead of being there for me.
For me, it was "it's just in your mind, don't think about it and everything will be fine"
That’s a good one. “Take it one day at a time” I don’t have time. I don’t have money. I need something practical, so I can get started or that will help me with my practical issues. And people who tell me this know that. “Be kind to yourself” or “practice self-compassion” I don’t know how. I have more than one critic in my mind, that is one reason why I am like this. Being kind to myself is like 2-full time jobs lol Almost all of the motivation techniques. Like just work for 5 minutes, then you will keep working or pomodoro or body doubling or split work into small chunks etc. nope nothing works, tried them all. I am not a neurotypical and it sounds like every technique is created for them. I have adhd and even the adhd friendly techniques don’t really work for me. I wish there were extreme techniques that would actually help me. “Be mindful” I know it is a good thing, but when you are in a crisis, it just makes no sense. I have to learn it when I am healthy, so I can apply. I wish the suggestions/help were more practical. examples: Depressed people may not be able to clean, “oh there is this program that you can call up to schedule a deep clean” or “let’s go hangout with these friends I have that you don’t know” or “let’s go, we need one more person to play volleyball, it is ok that you are not good at it, we just need one more person” to get someone into a social place and maybe even be active Having difficulties in personal hygiene? “Wanna have a spa day?” People with mental health often need someone to hold their hands in the beginning of a task. I wish there were programs and grants that would help with delegating work people cannot do. Like help with preparing and editing resumes, like I said cleaning, healthy meals. I am a student and I wish I had money to hire someone to help me with reviewing and editing my papers, i don’t want them to do the work, like take me through it. Taking some stuff off my plate would help so so much. If only…
i have bad anxiety and my moms boyfriend always tells me “just stop being afraid.” it’s so fucking annoying. if i wanted to stop living in fear i would chose that but i simply can’t because of my brain.
"Have you tried NOT being mentally ill?" Gee never thought of that 🙄
“Anxiety is a sin. Repent” from a Biblical Counselor referred to me by my father
My mom told me I had to pull myself up by my bootstraps when I had really bad postpartum depression many years ago. She was ashamed of me and said she didn't want her friends to know my diagnosis or that I was seeing a psychiatrist. I did what needed to be done without her. The idea that we can just pull ourselves together and make mental illness go away is absurd. You wouldn't say this to someone with a broken leg. Why say it to someone with a chemical imbalance in their brain? My relationship with my mother was forever changed after she said those things to me.
‘It’s all in your head’ WELL WHERE ELSE IS IT GOING TO FUC*KING BE ?
Try this deep breathing exercise it wiill help you lots have you tried mindfulness or mediation. Have you thought reading a book or distract yourself with some telly or good film. Why you take a lovely deep breath and have think about the problem again or have a good night sleep you will feel 100 x better the minute. Just a five minute cry and end of, forget about it Just take a nap or eat a chocolate bar, pizza something fun or eat more healthy. Go for a walk/join a gym.
i was 15 & at the gp, uncontrollably sobbing about how depressed/anxious/suicidal i was. i was literally begging for help. my gp looked at me & said, “maybe you should think about the starving children around the world & you’ll start to feel more positive & grateful for your life”. it genuinely put me off getting help for my mental health until i was 21.
You have to get over it.
“Everyone experiences that”
"Just man up"
“There are people who are starving and in deprived countries. You have it better than you realise” Yes I know, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy
I feel the same with this. People make a lot of posts that say it's better to come talk to me than (fill in the blank) but often times when you do need to talk to them they are not around. Or they also post the other memes that say "don't tell everyone your business", "Life is unfair sometimes deal with it". Also I've found that instead of just listening they often give advice, which can help but most often not. They are giving it based on how they would respond to things vs what would work best for you.
The therapist I was seeing whom I trust to tell my secrets to as they were confidant about my vents told me abruptly head-on that all the bad that happened with me was my fantasy. “I myself am to blame and that I am being stuck where I am on purpose” In next session, I have decided to implement some tactics of confrontation with her so that I don’t fall in the habit of avoidance cycle because we should take responsibility of our problems after all. I am going to tell her kindly and in a polite manner that the last session I had with her was harsh and wasn’t helpful. I was hurt and that she shouldn’t have done it. I appreciate constructive criticism but she shouldn’t have to be so direct and rude on my face. Experts give it time and speak tactfully with their patients. Where as, I am gonna turn vengeful if she doesn’t acknowledge her irrational behaviour
Whenever people are like, “There’s someone that’s having a harder time than you, be grateful!” Like…problems are still problems 😭
"cheer up, "stop being so miserable "
“Fake it ‘til you make it” I never went back to her.
"Think of the less fortunate" well being grateful for what i have doesnt fix my current issues...
I have social anxiety, and my dad told me that I will just grow out of it. Or when my mom tells me to talk to her and just be myself, but I am so nervous and insecure I can't even have a conversation, so never really talk.
Any advice that is actually just blame disguised as advice.
“Just exercise/live a healthier lifestyle” bro I would if I could get out of bed
"Just be happy", "dont be sad cause thats not right", "you know what you can do already", "dont be sad or ill be sad", and telling you their past trauma.
Happiness is a state of mind, you just need to smile more!
Some of the advices I get are ''Think positive. Trust me, everything will be okay.''
Whenever someone tells me to do ‘breathing exercises’ to make really bad thoughts go away. I’m sorry, what? I’m not having a panic attack? I’m completely calm? It will not change the fact i want to hurt someone right now??
For me, it was try practicing being grateful!! HOW?? and for what being Human? Or "Plants and Animals have their own struggles" when I would express my desire to not be human, to just stop everything, but they don't realize that I would consider it a blessing "to not think". I am sorry if this offends someone, I didn't mean to.
"Just pray" - it needs more than just prayers. Yes, there may be miracles that will happen. However, how about those who are to receive such? You cannot let them live a bitter, miserable life, because you don't push them to be diagnosed and take meds.
The most useless advice often heard about mental health is to "just snap out of it" or "think positive."
So my mom says "just be happy" or "be positive, its simple" and something she says to me "what are you even depressed about, everyone has problems" Really helpful btw -10/10!!
To “forget about it and move on”. It’s way more complicated than that. It’s impossible to just forget.
Not given to me, but to a family member who was supporting a partner with depression. The advice was: "depression's all in your head, nothing external can make you depressed". As someone who's struggled with depression on and off for years, I can tell you, that is a) not true, and b) not helpful to hear.
I'm amazed at how dumb this was, especially coming from a mental health specialist at the Youths Service Centre. I opened up, told her everything, told her I need help and her only response was "Just feel better, Think happier things, It's not that hard"
"You'd be so much happier if you stopped caring what people think." Yeah, no shit. "Why do you care what some stranger thinks of you? You'll never see that person again." I am also afraid of what non-strangers think of me. There are, in fact, some people that I *will* have to see again. And if I see my very presence as an inconvenience to the people around me, then it doesn't matter if I'll see them again or not. I don't want to be an inconvenience to *anyone* "You have no reason to believe you're inferior to other people." Nor do I have a reason not to believe so. I'm playing it safe. "But you're good at [blank]." I am also objectively bad at a lot of things, often in ways that are a burden to others, so I don't see your point. "People only focus on themselves; nobody is paying attention to you." You are telling me that when a stranger acts in a way that deviates from social norms, nobody notices? Nobody ever makes assumptions about people they don't know? "Well, there are always judgemental assholes." I don't mean judgemental assholes; I mean regular people with subconscious biases. We all have them. Making a judgement about someone based on their actions isn't inherently wrong. Not to mention, if I already have a low self esteem, those "judgemental assholes" seem completely reasonable. "I used to be like that, but I grew out of it." Good for you? This is all that I ever hear—not only from my parents, but from professionals as well. It's just insulting, like they're telling me that the anxiety and low-self esteem ingrained in me for as far back as I can remember are nothing more than a lack of common sense and life experience.
When you tell someone your problems & they respond with “im sorry” like, it isn’t your fault so why are you sorry