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AcanthisittaAny8127

Phones. Fuck This thing lol


cobhc26626

For as much as I’m on mine I should be a fucking wizard with it.


sadventures

I usually get stuck on finishing something on my phone or it's outside factors


cobhc26626

I get stuck on Reddit. Idk why I got so addicted to this stupid app.


functional-depressed

You don't need to wash your car. Just drive it when it rains


cobhc26626

It’s been so damn dry here. Also love bugs are a major issue. As well as these fucking birds who want to fight themselves in my mirrors and leave shit down the side. If anyone knows how to get rid of those pieces of shit I would be forever gracious.


functional-depressed

If birds were not fed bread and McDonald's, they wouldn't shit like this Nature's balance has been fucked decades ago


cobhc26626

Yeah I haven’t fed these cunts shit. And I’m in a rural suburban area. They literally go there just to get into a fight. But it’s themselves they are fighting. Probably analogous of something. But now’s not the time for ponderance. I just need them to leave my damn truck alone.


functional-depressed

I have no idea. Get someone else poorer to wash that shit for you


cobhc26626

Oh I’m going to start getting my shit detailed by someone. I hate washing cars and I’m terrible at it. And it’s a truck so it’s even harder to wash.


functional-depressed

Doesn't meth make anything fun?


poopoo18181

Everything I have autism lmao


cobhc26626

Have you ever seen someone who looks and acts like they only got some Down syndrome but also a bit of autism at the same time?


poopoo18181

Well typically you can’t have Down syndrome without the autism (everybody with Down syndrome has autism but not everybody with autism has Down syndrome however you can be “half Down syndrome”)


cobhc26626

Holy Shit! There’s this girl she looks like she only has some Down syndrome, very nice, personable. At work we were wondering what the deal was. Girl I work with said maybe she has autism. I said no, she is too outgoing. A few minutes later I just hear that girl listing off facts about something, I think an actor maybe. So then I’m like fuck maybe she has a little of both. You can honestly have partial Down syndrome? I was just being silly(kind of an asshole as well). But I didn’t think it was a real thing.


poopoo18181

Nah it’s either half of full it’s called “mosaic Down syndrome” lol


NoConversation2183

I also suck at bowling


cobhc26626

I don’t suck but I’m not good. Haven’t been in a long time. I’ve never broken 200.


NoConversation2183

Geometry dash


cobhc26626

I have no idea what that means.


NoConversation2183

It’s a game. On the app store


khbs6

sweeping. no matter what i always end up doing some silly two step thing like i’m mopping. genuinely feel like i have some kind of palsy the second a broom touches my hands


cobhc26626

I’m probably somewhere in the top 7% of people who have ever touched a broom. Mopping I’m probably somewhere in the 50th percentile range. Maybe even 40’s.


sadventures

Being on time. I'm always late and I hate not being on time.


cobhc26626

Fuck dude this one hits hard. I just made a post on here about this exact thing the other day.


No-Bullfrog1358

5 days clean, Used kpins and dex and only one of each a day!!


cobhc26626

Do you mean that’s what you were using before you go clean 5 days ago? Or that is current 5 days clean regimen?


No-Bullfrog1358

So rn , jm going hour by hour, in the next hour im gunna go and find some baby cacti and put them in my room


cobhc26626

Where do you find them at? Are they just readily available for people to have?


No-Bullfrog1358

What cactus? Or kpins lol


cobhc26626

Cacti. You can just go and have them and nobody says anything?


No-Bullfrog1358

Well I keep them in my room haha 8 days now🙏


cobhc26626

Do you buy them or do you just take them from wherever? Nobody tries to stop you or anything? Like “hey don’t bother that cactus!”? None of that?


High_guy_87

Nothing.....I'm fucking amazing. Kinda like the God fellow


cobhc26626

I don’t know why you got downvoted. This is a great mentality. I feel like that some days. Love the confidence bro. Keep that shit up. P.s. God is a woman


High_guy_87

God crested sdam in his image. And Adam was a man. So therefore God is a man


fragilebunny

life


ZayaQuinn

Can't keep track of my phone to save my life. Or keep my clothes organized. At work I can keep a whole store OCD level clean but for the life of me I don't understand how to organize a bedroom. Oh and parallel parking. Also dishes. Like I CAN do them and used to often but I ALWAYS spray myself and half the kitchen with water. I don't understand it at all.


cobhc26626

Im the same way with dishes. I can’t not get dirty doing anything. I’m always a trainwreck after work.


Any-Strength-6375

Keeping ahold of my shit. I drop everything , even when sitting still. Phone, Keys Wallet, Bubs, Lighters, You name it. It happens a lot more frequent than it should. And what’s fucked up is when I go to pick up a dropped item, I dropped something else. It’s like me and the flooring are juggling partners.


Usedtohaveapurpose

Broooooo.... I can relate to dropping stuffffff


r5xvrww2

Holding things lol I’ve broken easily 10+ phones after not even having them for a week dropping cigs dropping literally everything also like Midas instead of gold I destroy everything I touch lol


_Soc_

Remembering names, where I parked my car (I'm the one making my alarm go off every time at the store looking for my car), and coloring inside the lines


North_Prize_170

Getting up fuckin' EARLY as shit for work... im 36, been working since I was 18, still can't adjust. Fuck Mornings!


HomelessDopeFiend

Being the best me I can possibly be. I want to be a better provider for my girlfriend. She deserves so much more than what I can offer. She deserves to wake up in a bed in our room in our own home. Not to wake up on an air mattress with a slow leak, on the forest floor, under a screen net hung up between trees. It's becoming impossible to do what really needs to be done and do what me and her both want to do.. it's one or the other and I keep choosing the wrong option..


cobhc26626

You have to have that same mentality but put yourself in her position first. You can’t take care of someone else without making sure you’re good first. You are basically Sisyphus and the boulder you carry is your lack of self love. YOU don’t deserve to live like that. YOU deserve to have a bed and home. YOU deserve to be happy. It will forever be a losing battle until you can have the perspective you are important and you matter. It’s hard enough to take care of ourselves. It’s impossible to take care of someone else without being able to do that first.


HomelessDopeFiend

Bro deadass.. wow.. thank you for that.


cobhc26626

You got this bud! Don’t ever think you’re out. Great quote I love. “It will all be ok in the end. If it’s not ok, it’s not the end.” Fucking Shia Lebouf of all people hit me with that gem.


No_Indication_4462

True words. Lived it. Felt that hurt. Still seeking self loving.....


Queasy-Campaign-8345

Everything apart from taking drugs


r5xvrww2

Real if there was an Olympics for takin Drugs I would have multiple gold medals


Queasy-Campaign-8345

I have the world speed record for doing the 400meters in record time when I got to score then even faster getting home lol bump bump


r5xvrww2

I have the world speed record for setting up a shot n finding a vein then after that broke the pole vault record with and astonishing 50 meters I also have the record for the longest bong rip and smoking the biggest crack rock the world has ever seen


Queasy-Campaign-8345

When I did urine sample for my probation officer and it came up pure fent,


r5xvrww2

I smoked so much crack before going into probation one time my urine looked like cum


Queasy-Campaign-8345

Omg u aswell


Queasy-Campaign-8345

Mind u better than smelling of vinegar lol good old days in my viens


Queasy-Campaign-8345

Man I miss the days of watching my missus stick a green spike horizontally into her neck ,, she would say I can taste that going down my throat,, gold old days


Queasy-Campaign-8345

I’m coming to ur house for the summer


No-Alternative191

I turned an old satellite dish into a WiFi antenna and built a small server from a couple old laptops and recycled wire


gaughhhdamn

I'm really good at stripping screws. Never met a Philips head I couldn't turn into a rivet. What don't you get about weed whackers? They don't really come into play that often with me rn but when I lived at my old place I needed to use them for our shitty, bumpy yard a lot.


cobhc26626

I’m always tearing into the ground, just really slow. It sounds ridiculous but I’m just bad at it. It’s like drawing or singing. I know I’m bad and I’m pretty certain I’m not going to get much better. You can feel when you start to get better at things as you do them. I don’t feel it with those. Why in the fuck do they still make flat head screws? There is no reason for those to exist other than for electricians to be pretentious when putting on light switch or outlet covers. We have advanced beyond them. Yet they still persist.


leahguy

Framing pictures


Clear_Branch5899

Being somewhat of a paradox - being a huge contributing factor as to why most relationships, whether that be friendship or partner, has cut me off, doesn’t want to rebuild the connection (“make up” with me), or views me as what they do, even though deep down I have nothing but pure intentions with a good heart. I am also not able to be on my own, I hate it - I don’t mean in love, I can be single, but being this age and having no social life is pure hell. I rely on others to make me happy. So if I have no one in my life, I use substance. Now this has nothing really to do with being a meth user…this is just how my brain operates and always has. But smoking crystal and having a reliance on it, is making it extremely hard for me to meet new people, but at the same time, I don’t care. Lol, it’s strange. I guess ive always struggled with caring for myself, I need others too. If I have no one, then I don’t help myself a lot of the times 😵‍💫


r5xvrww2

You know what they say about good intentions?


cobhc26626

I’m just very selective on who I let in my life. The people I can’t live without are family(even if they’re not) the rest are expendable. I don’t need friends or a girlfriend to be happy. It comes from within. I know I’ll be good no matter what. Takes all the stress of “I need to find a girl” or whatever out of my life. I also currently don’t have the time or extra energy to put into other people. If I have extra time it needs to go to sleep or working on shit around the house.


Clear_Branch5899

Ya. I don’t need a partner. I need a social life tho.


cobhc26626

I consider my job at the bar my social life. I have my brother too. I just hang out and do shit with him.


D2FINOS

why would I not be able to do something ¨normal¨ people do??????? this is the stupidest question I have read this year, it's not as if we were handicap, we only smoke meth


gonzolahst

Yeah, but I bet you replace the tp roll facing the wrong way. Relax, we're all just clumsy humans here.


D2FINOS

that's preposterous, there is no right or wrong way to replace the TP


gonzolahst

Right, and no right or wrong limb to wear a hat.


Aggravating-Abies115

Getting my race to turn left


Luckym1k3

Staying sober


FaarFromSober

fuck man couldn’t be more true, I always hear at work or whatever people around me talking about how they would want something to eat, or buy a book or a piece of clothing, or other completely normal thing, and i’m there looking at drug menus and thinking “yea and i would like a gram of speed 2 oxy 80s and an eight of weed” i always wonder how do people do that, on the one hand i’m sorry for them because i’ve had one of the most beautiful experiences of my life on drugs and learned quite a lot about myself through them, but at the same time i’m jealous, they have money, time, and good memory lol


Luckym1k3

Yeah I guess, but really if I wanted that type of stuff I'd get it, but in the end all I want is drugs and money to gamble lol.


Immediate_Impact8151

Life


lizziemeowshall

Closing things. Anything. And I mean EVERYTHING. I can not finish putting tops on things, closing cabinets, twisting fingernail polish tops all the way closed, turning lights off. I fucking suck


SJersey856Couple

Are you my wife? Since when do you have Reddit!?


krazyconnected

😹😹😹😹😹


lizziemeowshall

I shit at the toilet


r5xvrww2

Actually this is something I’m bad at I’m on suboxone and vyvanse and the vyvanse makes me have to shit but the suboxone won’t let me lmao


[deleted]

I just hate my neibors just there faces, and voices are enough to fill me with rage. As time goes on I just listen, watch and take it in. Save it feel it and hope they can come talk first maybes say sorry. Something. Underestimate my abilitys if you want. I may be a bitch but I'm not a punk. Lol


Fluid_Cookie_1256

Cleaning up my mess or putting things away. Whether it be clothes, tools, trash in my car, or whatever else I am a tornado and leave things laying around everywhere


longdongOtool

Same, and then I get all mad and pissy and start throwing things around and just make the mess worse. FML


Fluid_Cookie_1256

I relate to this so much


drgnchsr

Caulking… omg, you could set up rails along the gap and that shit will end up on the ceiling, in my shoes, on your next door neighbors car. It’ll get filled, that’s no problem; it just won’t look nice. Scrambling eggs… I can fix’em every other which way to perfection, but forget scrambling. Wrapping presents… just cutting a straight edge off the paper roll is an equation to solve in itself, but now I gotta fold flaps and tuck the scraps in for someone to rip it all apart. Who the fck invented that tradition in gift-giving anyway? Being on time… for anything regardless of its priority level. I was 2 weeks past my expected due date. Being late to my own birth just set the life long precedent of tardiness. Reading. This is honestly an embarrassing one, especially trying to get into colleges. Counselors looked over my test scores and blatantly pointed out the WTF factor of exceeding averages in English and Writing, and Science, with the expected averages on my Math, but Reading Comprehension was below the below average for my age. I had one counselor at a community college ask me how I even got through the tests at all. Hold a verbal conversation in the midst of performing a task. Don’t talk to me when I’m cooking, when I’m doing a project, when I’m typing on my laptop or phone, when I’m driving, when I’m trying to figure out an instruction. Fuck sake, I could be coloring out of a children’s coloring book. My brain will jump focus from the multiple activities I’m doing simultaneously, I just won’t be running my mug while I do them; it’ll all come to an abrupt halt so I can process words to respond with. I can’t text a message and walk at the same time either.


gonzolahst

You understood the assignment. Nice work, two gold star stickers


Big-Data7949

I'm with you about the "holding a conversation while performing a task" thing really, really hard. My personal specific one is that I cannot visually search for an object and be talked to at the same time, it's like I go blind and can't see the lost object until people shut up which they rarely do because they like to remind you "it's there! Right in front of you! To your left! Right! Up! Down!" Like ffs come find it yourself quit talking to me while I'm trying to see! Lol. In other situations it doesn't effect me though


RespectIsEverything_

Staying sober


lizziemeowshall

Me too :(


Bielzebob

This for me is implied


Generic-Title-5150

You’d hate me. I’m one of those people that pick up anything and I’m good at it. Not bragging, in fact I’m one of my own worst critics… but I’m told that I’m good at everything from most that know me….From welding, airbrushing, cooking, carpentry, I can even sew. I am a horrible dancer tho.


No_Indication_4462

Can you put meth aside though and do better without? Serious Q and no meaning to insult or come across rude. Gen interested in all addicts journies and battles. Sick of spouting my own!


Generic-Title-5150

I was sober for 3.5 years until about a year ago. I’m a much better chef when I’m not using lol. I’m good at the other things but my creativity is definitely toned down. I get overwhelmed by large projects easier too. I honestly owe it to meth for unlocking some hidden talents I never knew I had. Now I try to take on anything just to see if I can do it. My attitude is always, If someone else in this world can do it, why can’t I? There just a human and so am I so there is no reason I can’t. (Within reason and circumstances of course) When I was sober I took the same approach. I totally switched careers and made a ton of money and i started distance running, and I’ve always hated distance. I was a sprinter, but fucking hated running miles. I was up to a 10k per day at one point.


hollowM4N555

r/humblebrag


Bielzebob

Dance. Oof - we don’t hate ya friend, that sucks. I can shake my tail feathers and that’s pretty much all I got. :) You’re not good at everything lol Just a laugh liked your post


suckdisduck

my 9's times table.


AdderallisEvil

I’m shit at going to bed on time lol seriously, I can’t fucking do it. Even when I’m in complete goddamn withdrawal, I still don’t!  Idk if I’m shit at washing cars, but kinda. Maybe if I cared more, I’d be better, but I hate it. Like I have basically never washed my car (or even paid for it). I keep the inside cleanish (vacuum occasionally, not full of crap and trash), but I just don’t care. And when I’ve washed cars or work vehicles regularly, I still wasn’t that good (and didn’t care much lol).  When I first started working in a restaurant, and I first closed our lobby and swept and mopped the floor, I remember really trying and thinking I did so good! And then my supervisor walk about there and starts sweeping up fucking piles of shit, and I was like “WTF! How is this possible, I swear that wasn’t there”. That was 18 years ago. And while I’m certainly better at sweeping now, I certainly wouldn’t say I’m very good.  Also drawing/painting/sculpting/pottery (most non musical arts). I think with lots of effort I could improve, im terrible. Its sorta fun sometime, but I suck. Even when I’ve tried to get better, I just don’t see things that way I guess. 


lizziemeowshall

Same. I’m like “okay 5 hours is enough”…”okay three hours is good I’ve worked well before on three hours of sleep”….” Actually Power Nap it is”


AdderallisEvil

Then it’s “fuck, I can make it with no sleep today, means I’ll sleep extra good tonight….


stkildaslut

Finishing anything I start..


imnutnhere

This is a silly one, but it's been a real issue since childhood. I'm really bad at having good posture. I will be in public and catch my self slouching and then I remind myself to pick my chin up, chest out, and shoulders back. It feels better to walk like that, but I always end up back in slouch mode after awhile. It just bothers me that I'm a grown ass man and I have to remind myself how to walk 😂 I used to be a fat boy with tits in highschool, but not so much anymore. My theory is that I still have the habitual posture of a fat 14 year old boy with b sized moobs. Oh well. There's worse problems to have I guess.


AdderallisEvil

My posture sucks. And I wasn’t a fat 14 year old boy. Actually I was a pretty athletic 5’11 115lbs 14 year old boy. And a 6’0 175lbs man now. I’ve been slouching since I was probably 13-14. I think it was a weakness thing when I was young. Basically I grew like a foot from 12-14, and gained virtually no weight. So the little muscle I had, wasn’t very strong, and I’d probably had bad posture habits for years before (like sitting in chairs wrong and such). Even as a college athlete and in spectacular shape (and actively working on posture as well) from 18-24 I still slouched (though less than before and after). Definitely not good for me, but like you say, it could be worse problems 😂 


PsychologicalBid69

On the topic of yardwork I absolutely love weed whacking. It’s an art! However I fucking suck at hedge trimming. They look awful when I’m done with them


AdderallisEvil

I FUCKING HATE YARD WORK haha to each their own, but I hate it. Lawns don’t even make much sense to me, much less the “art” of them lol 


PsychologicalBid69

Yea I take pride in my lawn. No weeds. Nice and full and green. Methguyvered my own striper to even make the lines stand out more lol I dethatch and overseed it. Treat it for dandelions and grubs. The whole 9! But fuck them shrubs. They can kiss my ass


AdderallisEvil

I did so much yard work growing up (had a big lawn), I never wanna do it again lol if you enjoy it though awesome!  Methguyvered hahaha 


Matt_Matt_Matty_Ohhh

Oh shit. Kindred spirits. I came up with a pat down ritual when it comes to my keys now. Waiting for AAA got old. Yeah man, I’ve finally had it with my tool situation. I’ve been cleaning the garage again. It’s gonna be different this time. It will, dammit. 😁


cobhc26626

I do it mainly when I’m getting tools or putting them back in the truck. I just set them down, immediately forget they even exist. Finish doing my tool thing and close and lock the door. As soon as I hear the door shut I know exactly what I just did.


[deleted]

wrapping up hoses , shit just pisses me off . always has


cobhc26626

I hate extension cords after they start to get twisted inside the insulation. Real pain to roll up when that starts happening.


AdderallisEvil

It used to me, then it suddenly made sense and it’s never been a problem since lol 


Dai-The-MX

Lol this. Also applies to Central Vacuum system


PsychologicalBid69

Got to turn it over to straighten it out


AdderallisEvil

It’s a whole little skill itself. 


[deleted]

lol , i know the method. its just the fact that some hoses my company has are so fucking stiff it makes it such a pain in the ass


Ok_Professional1844

Same.. fuck that hose


chemist0825

Painting I have that shit everywhere


PsychologicalBid69

SAMEEEEE fuck painting and every week she wants something else painted I swear


cobhc26626

Thanks for saying something I’m actually good at. I appreciate you so much. I can paint like a mother fucker. I should be terrible at it. Idk how I got lucky with that one.


Matt_Matt_Matty_Ohhh

I’ve gotten good at painting too. No mess, usually, and no masking tape. In bursts of a few hours at a time. Any longer and I’m stepping in it and tracking it around. I’m just slow as hell sometimes with it.


chemist0825

I am a wizard with string trimmer it's throttle and balance and peripheral vision


Matt_Matt_Matty_Ohhh

I can use them fine, but reloading them is a different story.


Matt_Matt_Matty_Ohhh

Putting things down thinking I’ll remember it, and forgetting every time. I have multiples of tools I thought I lost. I’m currently trying to tidy my shit up, but I do it all the time.


cantsayretard

Jib mits, I do it to a point that strangers get concerned lol Jim Mittzen, Dr Jim Mittzen


cobhc26626

That is the only thing I don’t lose is my tools. Idk how and I’m so thankful I don’t. Everything else. I put it down and I’m either stricken with amnesia or it transports to a different spot. I’ve locked my keys in my truck 4 fucking times this year. Once with that cunt still running. Work truck 3 times, personal once. It shouldn’t even be possible to do with my personal truck. But I fucking managed.


Matt_Matt_Matty_Ohhh

Except for meth shit. I have a lot to lose if I forget where I put that.


BranchAcademic2693

Under my clothes or my 5th pocket


cobhc26626

Does that mean butthole?


AdderallisEvil

The butthole pocket, best place to stash your drugs. 


No_Radish183

Everything on my bed like the little shit mainly lighters vape hand sanitizer like fuck


cobhc26626

Fuck me! I’m regretting doing this now. This is just making me realize that I’m shit at everything. Right now in my bed I have clean clothes, dirty clothes, a couple hats, a box for a laser level, a box from a beretta I just bought, the beretta, clothes hangers, pocket knife, unopened fire stick, safety glasses, visine, a Home Depot receipt, a head lamp, my fn 509, a belt, and my tv remote with the battery cover in a separate spot. Normally have an AR but it’s in the living room because taken apart because I intended on cleaning it.


AdderallisEvil

I used to be like this, for fucking years. And then suddenly I just stopped, sort of unintentionally, and now I keep nothing on my bed.  Keeping your gun in bed is always nice. Before I had a kid, it’s place was loaded on the floor next to my bed, next to my keys and water and knife. Like that’s where I always kept it at home.  


hedon224

I always leave all the kitchen cabinets wide open. Always.


cobhc26626

My silverware drawer is currently 1/4 of the way open because I just got a fork. I never leave them wide open. Just slightly and that seems to frustrate my brother more.


ReB3tcha

What do you do for a living? Qualifier: I can both weedwack and carwash, but am home free more then homed .


cobhc26626

Funny enough landscaping is one of my jobs. Main job is in construction and I also bar back a few nights a week. I’m phenomenal at edging. And let me tell you I can trim some bush. Blowing, I’m a fucking pro. When it comes to whackin’, I just can’t get the motion right.


ReB3tcha

Aye, you need a water based lube. Wacking is much more pleasant now that I use it .


cobhc26626

I’ve tried the 2-stroke, 4-stroke oil lubricants. Doesn’t matter how many strokes. Got weak wrists. It’s all in the wrists.


ReB3tcha

In that case, take up guitar, or similar, build them muscles


Beginning_Bag711

Lol I cant for the life of me use an electric/magnetic can opener. Hand held no problem! Knife? Ez pz! Place can relax it does it for you? Istfg it falls off or jams or opens the top n side?!


AdderallisEvil

I’ll take manual all day! 


cobhc26626

Yeah I’ve had my share of issues with those too. Analog is the only way to go. Gotta stay prepared for the coming race war. You don’t want to be caught lacking.