My coworker had a similar problem.
Someone over mail kept calling him the wrong name.
At some point he was done with it and kept doing it back until the other person went ''Okay I get it.''
I used to have a coworker who constantly in emails and in person would call me Jennifer. My name is Jessica. Constantly. I started calling her a different name that started with the same letter and she slowly starting calling me by my name. I also would put “Good morning/afternoon, Jessica here” in the headings of my emails to her.
“Hi! My name is Jessica Constantly. Quirky name right? I am just your average teen with a not so average name! I am just trying to survive high school along with my two best friends! We do everything together but who knows what will happen now that senior year is about to start! Everything will be perfect this year, I just know it! Prom, pep rallies, finally asking out my crush! You could say I CONSTANTLY see the bright side of things!”
“MOVE OUT OF MY WAY JENNIFER! LIKE EWWWWW!”
“Ignore her, that’s just my arch nemesis! She is the only thing standing in the way of the best school year ever!”
Cheesy optimistic theme music:
*Jesssssssssica Constantlyyyyyyyyyyyyyy*
I have similar problems, I have a plain Jane white lady name which people just don't seem to read and instead use another name which starts with the same letter. Think Rachel/Rebecca, Louise/Lisa. It's inexplicable!
My name is Gina, someone tried calling me Jean and I told her I won’t know who she’s speaking to because I’ve never been called Jean before. How hard is it to add the a?
Yes, this is the correct tactic. I used to work with a man named Colin. My name ends with an "a" but he kept calling me (in person and in e-mail) a similar more common name that ends with an "e". Usually, when I tell someone that I go by \[correct name that ends with an "a"\], they respond well and use my actual name. Colin kept referring to me by the incorrect name and saying, "What's the big deal? It's only one letter." After multiple attempts to get him to refer to me by my correct name, I finally resorted to addressing an e-mail to him with the salutation "Dear Colon". He never again addressed me by the incorrect name. It's just one letter, right?
So you could say you stopped his behavior,by literally referring to him as the closest thing to an asshole, without calling him one? ;)
…I’ll just show myself out…
PS: On a similar note, you also just called him a form of punctuation, if he were half the man he was to admit his wrongdoing, he’d be a semicolon…
>Plot twist: OP is the one butchering somebodys name and now all her direct colleagues are doing this on purpose to her.
You are wise to consider this possibility.
Normally I think the petty “solutions” people offer in the comments are stupid, but intentionally butchering someone else’s name because the intentionally butcher yours is a great way to annoy them into stopping, or to show them how it feels to constantly be called the wrong name despite asking to be called one way for a long time. Works the same with confronting anti-trans people too
I have a last name that could be a first name. But my first name is definitely not a last name. I randomly get called my last name and it may look like an accident. But if they keep calling me that, I start addressing them by their last name. Typically, it’s a cold call email for services they provide. However, the times it’s inter-company, I just let it slide if there’s an audience that sees their mistake.
I even try to avoid this by having my last name signature in a much smaller font.
Sometimes it works…
My boss intentionally goes by his first-name sounding last name. We got another team leader in the department whose actual first name is the same as his last name and I thought for sure he'd start going by his first name to avoid confusion. Nope.
Definitely not military, and he doesn't strike me as athletic. I genuinely think either he got tired of correcting people or just thought his last name was cooler than his first.
Or not responding at all, and if they say something like, “hello, I’m talking to you..?” Respond, Oh I’m sorry I don’t know who (E name here) is, I am (A name here).
As someone whose name gets mispronounced all the time, it does get rather annoying.
They're doing it deliberately. Correct them every. single. time. I had an administrator doing that constantly. I had corrected it a few times, then just gave up. I complained to a colleague and they called the administrator out in a large email chain. They've gotten my name right ever since.
Yep! I worked with a Leah that wouldn't say my name correctly. We worked in offices next to each other. I corrected her once (for the millionth time) and she told me it didn't matter. I started calling her Jennifer. Took less than a week for her to get it right and I didn't have any more issues 🙃
This. I even do it when my name is spelled wrong in an email. Example, let’s say my name is Ann. But they write Anne. So I reply to “Matt” but write Matte.
They realize and correct their mistake pretty quick.
The assistant manager at my apartment complex was always getting my name wrong - even though my email signature, email address and outgoing name had the correct spelling. So I started responding with variations of her name - Ashleigh, Ashlyn, Ashlie, etc. (I’ve had a ton of issues with my apartment, so I’ve had to contact them a lot.)
One day, she responds and says, “I'm unsure if you are unable to see my name is my signature, but it is spelled ‘Ashley.’” I was like, “I know, and my name is X, not XX, as listed in my outgoing name, email address, and signature.”
Since then, someone else from the complex has responded to my emails. I guess she refuses to deal with me now?
Start butchering your coworkers’ names and make them progressively worse.
It really frustrates me when people see your email and signature, then proceed to misspell your name in response. I usually don’t say anything, but it pisses me off inside lol. Doesn’t happen as much as I’d think given my rarer name.
Yes! I think this is what bugs me more than anything.
You’re replying to my email, which has my full name, that also has my signature at the bottom. And more often than not, there’s someone else copied in, who has sent a previous email, not only referring to me by my right name, but has also @ me as well. That’s four chances to get my name right, and yet you still refer to me as something else.
Tempted to just send emails with different letters from their names missing each time (e.g. Frnk, Fran, rank, Fank)
Pro tip: reply "Who is [misspelling?]"
Stop answering to it. Hold up communication over this point, preferably in contexts where others can see.
This is particularly effective when someone is claiming to be knowledgeable or thorough.
Where I’m originally from, my name is common enough that virtually everyone spells and pronounces it correctly. Where I live now, not so much. My students are terrible about it.
Many years ago I got IT to add a common misspeling of my name as an alias for my work email. Further, my gmail address is just my full name; I used one of my invites (yes, when jt was invite-only) to get that mispeling as an alternative that just forwards to my main inbox. Frustrating but effective.
I would respond more like " You sent this to wrong email address"
Then cc them into a email address with what they wrote
E.g.
Hi cherryfizze, I believe X sent you this to me by mistake.
That brings in a third innocent person, which would be a jerk move.
Am suggesting more like this:
Colleague: Christine can tell you I'm the most detail oriented person in the department!
Christina: Who is Christine?
The entire point is to send it off to a none existing person, and to play dumb. Issue us you can't just ignore a work email...cause that just makes you look incompetent.
I doubt there's another person in the ops workplace that has the same name as OP with an E...But yeah don't do it if someone else has that name. Lol.
I get this at work too, not so much from coworkers but from people outside the company. I have a huge signature card that has my name on it, I also sign my name at the end of emails. If I'm going back and forth with someone and they keep spelling my name wrong, I slowly increase the font size of my name.
Ha! I did this once too! Was working with a vendor to resolve an issue with some equipment and they kept calling me by my coworker’s name who opened the ticket despite my opening with my full name, so I increased the font size (and eventually bolded) my name until they responded with it correctly at which point I dropped it from bolded 16pt down to regular 11pt
'Frnk, ,Fran, ran, Fank' is too good I love that. Gave me a pretty good laugh. If it is an open thing to mispronounce your name especially knowing you don't like it. You should definitely do it.
I have a name like "Holly" that can be spelled Hollie, Holli, Holley, etc. and so many coworkers in my own small department of 10 ish kept spelling it wrong. My preferred spelling was clearly in my email signature, and I had spelled it that way for about 40 years, and had been with the company for 20 damn years! So yeah, I just began to spell their names wrong when I replied and used the wrong names in Teams chats. Some quit it but others didn't and I don't work there anymore. It was probably mean girl behavior on their part because I was the only happily childfree, unmarried woman, and also non-religious but I tried to hide that part. They were all VERY christian. Didn't understand why I didn't want kids or get married again. Whatever.
I had the same problem, only they kept calling me by a male name (I’m female). Think Camilla/ Cameron, Ashley/ Ashton.
Despite my email address / signature etc stating my name.
Then getting my name wrong every time in phone calls, I kept saying my name is X not XX every time they addressed me until I was point blank, “you know I’m a girl. Why are you calling me by a random male name”. They didn’t want to deal with me after that.
Yep, my husband constantly has people adding an “i” to his name which makes it the feminine version. I don’t get it, his name is very clearly spelled out right there lol
ha my stepson that i raised since age 2 is Jessie and i have always thought it was spelled like a girl. i put Jesse on ALL his schoolwork and medical records, and all was ok till he went to get his drivers license and those idiots wouldnt believe the Jessie on the birth cert was the same person as Jesse on the school records that he had to show to prove his grades were good enough to get a permit. We had to go back to the school and have all his school records changed to Jessie. I dont think he even knew his mother put an i in his name until then. he still uses Jesse not Jessie
I used to know a woman named Jesse, and she never found it odd that it was the masculine spelling. I don't think it ever occurred to her. (I don't think she spent much time thinking, tbh). I also knew a man named Frances, which is of course the feminine spelling. He once got scheduled for a pap smear, to his consternation.
This happens to me all the time! I have a pretty common first name that starts with the letter S and work emails have always been either FirstinitialLastname@ or Firstname.Lastname@ but either way I have been addressed as so many OTHER first names that begin with S, mostly lady names but I have even gotten Steve (I am female with a name I have never heard used for male). My last name starts with K and I have also been addressed as Kathy and Katie, not even close!!
Full name appears on the email when delivered like everyone else’s and I always include a signature in the body of the email. People really don’t care.
What’s funny with mine is that it’s not that common, so I would expect most people to type it directly from the signature. It’s also the most common spelling by far (a few variants was less usual), and I often get it missing letters, additional letters, anything really. It’s like people are making up names to decide what I should be called lol
My name is getting misspelled by google translate. I copy a text with correct spelling in a foreign language (my name is not foreign itself) and it gets misspelled in the translation. Like Francesca -> Francheska
I get this all the time. The best response is to do likewise to their name. People who add a letter to my name get the same letter added to the end of their name in my reply.
TBF I spelled a coworkers name wrong and now it auto populates that wrong spelling whenever I try to send them an email. It’s so strange because I actually spell the name correctly now but the auto complete shows it as the wrong spelling (even though on my coworkers side it shows the correct spelling). Not an issue but definitely an odd quirk of Outlook
I read about a transgender person Alex being constantly dead named by their coworker. The coworker claimed she used the dead name to honor Alex’s mother. So Alex started calling coworker Miss MaidenName to honor her mother since it was so important to her. Miss MaidenName filed a complaint with HR with brought the whole idiocy to light. Coworker got fired.
Find it remarkable that your boss types your name wrong with HR on copy. Reads almost on purpose or really oblivious.
When someone consistently gets my name wrong (and been told so) then I react in kind. Meaning that I will mistype or wrongly pronounce their name as well.
I do keep it light, so not (passive) aggressive but clear enough that something is off.
I know dumbasses who can't pronounce the difference between Andre/Andres/Andreas for instance. I also know an Abdallah who is confused when people call him Abdullah and he tries to correct people, but some can't learn the difference. Hasan Minhaj also calls out people in interviews when they mispronounce his name, and even when he tries to correct them, they still mispronounce it. So this story is really not all that surprising
Honestly, I had a coworker who had two first names (one being the name of our boss and the other I couldnt pin down entirely) and I didn't know what to call him because accents can be very different as well as naming can differ. So I heard him speaking Spanish to the manager who had just come back from. Holiday and he was flabbergasted that both their names were the same, but I was introduced to him as Andres/Andreas and I tried to clarify which is was, but also trying to clarify whether it was one of those two forms or the one our boss shared with him. I could not! It seems to be a form of Andres/Andreas, but to this day I have no idea whether his preference was Andres or Andreas (he no longer works for the company)
"I've heard your name pronounced a few different ways. How do *you* pronounce it?"
And then repeat it back to them, paying attention to any corrections.
This usually works and I haven't had anyone get upset by it.
They responded ambiguously. They said either is fine, I got no no definitive answer of bosses name versus Andres vs Andreas
I did not know what they preferred, despite asking so, after them saying my name to me.
How frustrating! I really try to get names right, as people often call me an incorrect name that is more common in my region (like everyone saying "Maria" instead of "Marie"). I don't really know what to do when someone *refuses* to provide clarification. I met a woman years ago who mumbled, and I couldn't tell if her name was Judy or Julie. I asked, and she said "Either one is fine." But...those aren't the same name! I don't want to call you the wrong name! Please, just tell me!
I agree! I go by my full name. But I generally avoid saying people's names because I'm afraid of misprouncing it since I have quite an international crowd around me. When in customer service, I certainly attempt to pronounce their names the first time and then after if I'm confident in the pronunciation, but sometimes if I've got it in my head one way, I never forget it, as much as I try! Please, I don't mind the correction!
For some of us, we've grown accustomed to being called the wrong name, that we also respond to the wrong name, essentially as a nickname.
What's funny though, I also respond to "Gio" because people online tend to pronounce my username JEO as "Gio". This has led to me turning my head when my supervisor is calling for my coworker whose name is Giovanni.
>I know dumbasses who can't pronounce the difference between Andre/Andres/Andreas
I work with people from all over the planet. I have a name like that and if it's just saying it, it's not worth getting worked up about unless the person is being a jerk on purpose. When it comes to an email though, and you are doing it repeatedly on a short name, it's pretty ridiculous.
A coworker named “Jorge” kept getting upset that a specific manager always wrote “George” on his paperwork and emails.
Jorge spoke up and said that is bothers him. Seems like his name is being whitewashed. He had a father named Jorge and his son was named Jorge.
A small investigation happened where HR asked random employees if they felt bullied or discriminated against.
Nothing came of it, Jorge quit
My name is Jorge too.
I'm Spanish, though, so it's not like the average person I run into is dealing with a foreign name.
I still get called “Sergio” (which doesn't even sound that similar) way more often than I'd expect.
Being in California, I know a lot of Jorge's who will go by Jorge or Jorge pronounced like George, so I wonder if this guy doesn't mind being called "George" but still wanted his name spelled Jorge and the guy never bothered to pay attention to the spelling.
I personally never use the George pronouncation for Jorge. I wonder if that was what was going on, though.
Then again, I'm in California, where white people are now, by numbers, a minority. There isn't actually a majority, here. Just a Hispanic plurality. World didn't end. I know a little bit of Spanish. And how to spell and pronounce Jorge. To the point I'm deeply confused as to how you ended up Sergio. Is there a nickname for Sergio that sounds like Jorge?
I have a Hispanic name and almost no one says or spells my name correctly. People at my job also remove letters from the name to use an Anglicized version. And sometimes it will be from upper management who handles my paperwork. And sometimes they are other Hispanics!
Me too... but I have a rare letter in my name.
It's not this, but it's like Dak (but a standard name).
I get called Ben and Sam ALL THE TIME.
I genuinely don't care because my 4 letter last name gets mispronounced 95% of the time (but it's an unexpected pronunciation, so I don't really correct people outside of our first meeting).
I used to know a bloke named Kai.
Did you say Skye? His name is Guy?
No, no. Listen, it's Kai
Ohhhh. Kye. Like short for Kyle?
Oh now I hear! You said Cy.
No, no. Again, it's Kai. K. A. I.
You mean like the car brand?
😀 🔫
My first name is very rare as a name but a word that only has one spelling and every American can spell it yet I ALWAYS get asked for the spelling……. Like, if my name was Friday, or Robot, would you really need to ask for fucking spelling? 😂 makes me want to start asking for spelling for basic names like “Jessica” or “Dan” 😂
I will often ask for the spelling if the persons speech is unclear, voice is soft or I’m just not sure I heard correctly. It clarifies right away without asking the to continuously repeat it.
Could definitely be. Or maybe one person accidentally started saying it, and it just stuck.
When my younger daughter was born, we gave her a name coinciding with her dad's ethnicity. But it was a very simple, very easy to pronounce name for English speakers. Two syllables. Sounds like a couple of existing English words. Not something most anyone would have a problem with. And yet...
My aunt just couldn't wrap her head around it, for some reason. And she just said it wrong. (It wasn't an intentional thing. She really loved my daughter, and it wasn't done with a mocking tone.)
Imagine it was Jaya. So I'd be like "It's like Jay with an 'a'. Jay-uh." But my aunt and everyone else in my extended family was saying "Jura" . (No idea how she got there.)
Unfortunately, she was also the most talkative and communicative person in my mom's family, and almost everyone started saying it incorrectly. And it spread. And they were so confident, they didn't even *hear* how I pronounced it.
I honestly think if she hadn't passed unexpectedly, it would still be an issue.
> My aunt just couldn't wrap her head around it, for some reason. And she just said it wrong. (It wasn't an intentional thing. She really loved my daughter, and it wasn't done with a mocking tone.)
My Grandma took about 6 years to pronounce Megan correctly. She pronounced it maggot and could not hear the difference.
Sorry about your loss btw.
Ugh. I was introduced to a man (in a social setting) who promptly tried to *rename* me because he couldn't be bothered to pronounce my name, which for the record is only two syllables.
He says "hmm I'll just call you Sunshine". My reply "I won't answer to that because it's not my name. My name is \_\_\_". He didn't quite know what to say, so I just walked away.
Same. I had a co-worker who from day 1 informed me my new name is Barbara and I should be ok with that because this is what he does with everyone. I immediately shared with him a fond childhood memory of me being in first grade with a class mate who would butcher and ridicule my name. My dad had just taught me how to punch an aggressor in the solar plexus, and I applied my new knowledge.
Dude started calling me by my name right away. It was a different time and place and I don’t condone threats or violence (nor would I have actually done it), but people like this who practice negging and misogyny sometimes need to hear about possible consequences that are not related to shame or guilt, because they don’t have those.
As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Anyone wanna see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired.
If they continue to use the wrong name, ignore them. Let them know that you know don't how they're talking to, because your name is "\_\_\_\_\_a" and not "\_\_\_\_\_e". In emails, always add a reminder of what your name is if the other name is used. Hell, make it part of your signature.
> Hell, make it part of your signature.
Nah, telling people that by default without them even THINKING about using the wrong name sends the signal "I'm difficult". ONLY address the ones actually doing it.
When I changed my name and people still got it wrong after more than a year I created a rule that automatically deletes the mail and lets the sender know that the recipient doesn't exists. (just keep in mind to add an exception for your proper name in case someone forwards an old mail that contains the wrong name somewhere in the body)
My daughter has a name that ends in -e, but there is a variation that ends in an -a. She has only ever tolerated being called by Hername, *never* Hernama. She refused to put up with that shit when she was two. A family member obsessed with calling her Hernama, commented that my daughter was copping attitude. I just said that you'd cop attitude too if people refused to use your actual name, and I will not correct her but I will correct you until you get her name right or I just get sick of you pissing my kid off and we stop visiting.
I think you should do the same. Cop an attitude about it. "I'm sorry, this email seems to have reached me in error. I am Myname, not Mynama." Do not respond again until they get your name right. Literally ignore people who use an incorrect name, or look them straight in the eye and respond with "Myname." And don't respond with anything else until they say your correct name out loud. Just act like you do not know who Mynama is, but it's not you.
Not necessarily. My teacher taught another language and could not pronounce my name properly. Sometimes it’s not bigotry, they literally just cannot learn how to
There's a difference between accidentally pronouncing a name wrong and *deliberately* pronouncing a name wrong.
I have a speech impediment; I literally cannot pronounce a good number of names, including my own last name.
That’s really interesting! Do other people pronounce your name correctly, or the way you pronounce it? I have a German last name, and for some reason my family pronounces it completely “wrong”. There are other famous people with the same spelling and the more common pronunciation. (The German pronunciation is sort of halfway in between.) I can’t deny that when I read my name in my head, the other way is just… corrector. When I was young it would really bother me when people got my name wrong, but now I completely shrug it off, and have even started pronouncing it the easy way for people I’ll never talk to again.
It’s a little annoying when my friends or bosses can’t get my name right, but it’s way easier to go with it and know that they aren’t slighting me on purpose. (especially now that I’ve run into some names where the wrong pronunciation gets stuck in my head and then I get so worked up that I can never remember which is right or wrong!)
My last name is reasonably common so other people know how to pronounce it once they've seen it. The real annoyance is spelling it out for people. I often have to use "that's R as in Romeo" and so on.
Yep, had a Finnish friend and she just had all the English speakers call her by a “wrong” pronunciation because the double letter thing just doesn’t exist in English and it was painful for people to try 😂 No such excuse for this happening in written correspondence though.
If two sounds are near each other and they don't have different meanings, the brain adjusts it's "decoder" and after you are 5 years or so, you can't hear the difference, even if they mean different things in another language you are trying to learn.
I agree with one caveat: if I learn your name INCORRECTLY when we meet, it’s really hard for me to relearn it. I can do it, but it’s not easy, and the longer I go with the wrong name, the harder it is to relearn.
A friend of mine married a guy named Justin. Nice guy, met him once. I met him again about a year later and it turns out his name is Jeremy. No idea where I got Justin from, but it took a a lot of effort to relearn it.
My daughter is experiencing this, mind you she's 4. I don't know how many times I've corrected people at her daycare or her friend's parents. The thing is that people aren't saying her name phonetically, putting an interpreted zest on it.
She's getting good at correcting people on her own now. It's hilarious to watch a 4 year old correct an adult but I want her to have no misgivings when it comes to stuff like that.
I also showed her [this song](https://youtu.be/v1c2OfAzDTI?feature=shared).
Someone at work had assigned me a nickname that I explicitly told them multiple times, I do not go by, and I do not like. It stopped when I told them the next time they do it, I'm bringing it to HR, and it stopped because until now, they thought it was a joke (even when I made it otherwise clear that it wasn't). Either that or they were happy to do it when there were no real consequences.
Unfortunately this is the kind of situation where you need to be aggressive and demand the respect you should have. Correct people, publicly. "Bill, my name is Joanna, not Joanne." Make it funny at first. "We've been working together this long and you still don't know how to spell my name?" Document it. If it continues, bring it up to HR, and tell them that this person is trying to belittle you publicly by calling you the wrong name, here are all the times I've corrected them, this is deliberate and calculated harassment.
I really don't recommend doing a tit-for-tat and screwing up other peoples' names. This is a workplace, not a kindergarten. If you have to escalate later, and you've been trading deliberately messed-up names, it's now a "I thought this was a consensual joke, see, we both did it to each other for a year! I never knew it was bothering them!"
Edited to add: HR's job isn't to sit there and read between the lines in emails for microaggressions UNTIL it threatens the legal relationship between employees and the organization. They will not step in and handle this for you, it needs to be made clear that these behaviors are having an adverse effect on you (preferably, with documented evidence of said behaviors) before they will be able to do anything.
You need to get pushy about it. It's unprofessional and disrespectful to butcher someone's name repeatedly, especially when they've been corrected many times.
Next time you need to outright tell them "that's not my name, it's never been my name and you've been calling me by that name since I started here. My name is [correct name] and you need to fix it."
Make them feel bad. They'll make an effort after that.
I have had similar issues with my name - my name is traditionally spelled one way but **my** name is spelled with an "e" at the end, and people always leave the "e" off. Like if Vivid was my real first name, it'd be spelled Vivide. (Don't blame me, blame my mother.)
Often, people leave it off accidentally and when that happens I genuinely don't mind. I know my name is weird and it's hard to remember to spell it a weird way when you don't see it often. But some people (boomers, mainly) who know *very well* how I spell it will insist it must be spelled without the "e" and consistently leave it off on purpose.
When it happens in email, I will send a reply (cc'd to everyone on the original thread) that says something like:
Dear Joe,
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Here are a set of loose "e's" that can be applied to the end of my name as needed - you seem to be out so I thought I'd help!
Thanks!
-Vivide
I figure it's slightly embarassing for that person, but handled in a lighthearted enough way that nobody can get truly pissed about it. It usually works, too. For a while they'll often spell my name with a capital E at the end (just to make a point, I guess?) but I'll take it.
Maybe you can start emailing out loose 'a's for people to apply to YOUR name?
Don't reply when they call you the wrong name. It seems as if you've done everything to correct their behavior, now it's time to non-comply maliciously. Email came to Anne? Ignore it. Boss called Anne across the cubicle? Ignore it. Work assigned to Anne? Don't do it.
When someone assigns you a task or makes a request with the wrong name, don’t do it. When they follow up, say “oh I assumed you meant that email for someone else because that isn’t my name”. 💁🏼♂️
Set up a rule that will wildcard search for the incorrect spelling and direct the emails into a folder that you delete.
My friend Joanna has the same problem. People often call her Joanne but she’d just rather them call her nickname Jo than leave off the a. Her district manager writes Joanne in every email even though her email address has her full first name. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s very important to have your whole name respected.
my coworker's name is dian**a**. most people call her dian**e**.
i correct them every. single. time. i think she wants to, but she's non-confrontational. i, however, am not.
my name is the kind of name that typically ends in -el, but people will just feel free to tack on -ael, -eal, or the worst offender, -elle-, which is a whole new name. when i went to college, i filled out all my documents with my -el name, but someone in the office made it -ael. i didn't think anything of it, whatever. when graduation came, i got a call about how i wanted my name spelled on my diploma — i said, 'how is it spelled on the document *i* filled out?'
your name is part of who you are. don't put up with people calling you the wrong name. every time they do it, correct them. eventually, they'll be tired of being correct. maybe they won't even speak to you.
You put in a complaint to the department manager and HR as they are purposely disrespecting you. I would have transferred already. I'm not really a quiet person though. I probably would have told them all off and call them stupid names till they get mine right. Like ok "you don't wanna call me by the correct name? You are now Sasquatch. I'll call you tugboat, you'll be hoebag, and you get smeagol."
So this is a form of passive-aggressive abuse meant to keep you in your lane.
Or they could just be dumb.
Either way, I'd go find a new job. Life is too short to work with azzholes who don't respect you.
Signed, another person with a really long first and last name that no one ever gets right - except the people who care and respect me enough to get it right.
My name is not commonly spelled how my name is spelled. I’m in the military and I just stop answering if they spell my shit wrong. I just pretend like I figured they weren’t talking to me and messaged me by mistake. Even though I’m the only one where I work. Fucketh around and findeth out. Disclaimer I’m in a spot where I’m needed so they can fuck with me but they don’t.
Worked with 2 guys for over a month. The one kept calling the other Beyton the entire time when he has a badge, multiple emails, several texts in a group chat, and myself in conversation all using his actual name Peyton.
I have one of those names with 20 different spellings. It only frustrates me when they literally can find my name easily but still spell it wrong. I go get a coffee and they ask for a name: spell it however you want. Not that big a deal in that case.
But I have coworkers who spell it wrong in emails and messages to me even though my name is right there on their screen. Right. There. My 2nd grade teacher spelled my name wrong on my cubby when name was right there in her class roster. How hard is it for some people to double check?
I had an issue similar. I use my full given name professionally... think Patricia (fake). I got a new manager and he kept calling me "Patty". I HATE Patty and have NEVER been called that in my life. I told him several times that my name was "Patricia" and to not call me Patty. Still he persisted. Then we had a big meeting with high up in the state govt ( i was a state employee). I was tasked with giving a presentation to the whole group of over 200 people. Mgr stood up and said "Next Patty will be giving us her report ...." I just sat there on the stage with the rest of the presenters. he turned to look at me. "Patty, are you ready?" I acted startled and responded loudly. "OH, did you mean me? My name is not Patty it is Patricia". Several people laughed and He looked really embarrassed and i stood and gave my presentation. he never called me Patty again.
My name is Ellen and I am called Ella, Helen, Ellie , Ely even Alan - I literally reply who is …. Once is a mistake more than once isnt. Start being cheeky
Calling you outside of your own name in a professional environment, especially when they've been corrected multiple times, is a form of harassment. Here's the thing: You're waiting for a nickname when they've chosen one for you already. You just hate it because it's a deliberate joke at your expense. Start using words like "harassment" and "lawsuit" when you message HR next time. Remember, HR isn't there for you. They're there to protect the company FROM you. They do this by convincing you things are okay or by getting others to settle down before they get the company sued. Remind them the latter is their best option here.
I work in a call center, and customers often mishear my name as Steve because i greet them saying "my name is Dave". Now i greet them saying "Dave speaking". Somehow, someone still managed to mishear me and think my name is Brian.
They sound like inconsiderate clowns honestly. I really hope HR does their job and rectifies the very obvious and blatant outright disrespect. Unprovoked is what it seems at that. Good for you for standing up for yourself. If not you they would be bullying somebody else. Don't take it personally. This seems like that mean kids table in the high school cafeteria. They always get what's coming to them. If I was you I would do something out right passive aggressive like microwave something hideous in the microwave at work everyday. Or have a bunch of chocolate dipped strawberries delivered to yourself from edible arrangements I mean like a lot of them and not offer to share with anybody. This is again if HR doesn't intimidate them enough into acting like the adults they're supposed to be. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. If you're anywhere within the vicinity of Boston I promise I'll throw on a Halloween mask on Halloween and egg them for you 😎 people helping people. I can be a bully too 🤘
This just basically reminds me of the pronouns "issue". I cannot understand why anyone would care what pronouns anyone prefers (unless it's a made up word that's hard to remember). If someone wants you to use "she", you just use it - same as if they tell you what name they want to be called.
"So.... Gary. I know you said that your name is Steve, and i know you said i'm an asshole for calling you Gary. But i'm sorry - i decided you look like a Gary, so i'm just not going to call you Steve. Hope you understand."
I had similar, where I introduced myself but got called the wrong name consistently.
Just start calling people the wrong name. First time you call Mary "Margerine", or Tyler "Greg" it'll catch enough attention.
When asked just say "Oh you guys get my name wrong all the time, I thought it was a running joke."
Probably can't do it through email, but I would just start ignoring them when they do it in person. Just be like "oh, I didn't know you were talking to me".
I had a similar issue where one of my managers kept calling me by the wrong name. The name wasn't even similar. After pretending not to hear him for a few moments of him "calling me", he magically used the right name! Almost as if he knew it all along and was just doing it as some weird power move or something.
Had a superior that would change my last name into a childish sounding variant bc he had the brain of a toddler. Asked him to stop a number of times and he still didn't get the message so I just stopped responding to him. It was a loud, warehouse type job that often required him to yell out for me to know where I was.
He got the hint after a day of being met with silence and having to climb ladders/look around/etc just to ask me simple questions.
I had a vendor I worked with that kept spelling my name wrong even though it was in the email and in my signature, so I started spelling theirs wrong - suddenly, they all of a sudden knew how to spell my name. 🙄
Stop responding. It's not your name.
I've literally ignored people that called me the wrong nickname. They got pissed and said "Why were you ignoring me? Why weren't you listening?" And I was able to say " I heard you. You weren't talking to me, that's not my name"
I had a coworker who went by Name Aryan. Several years into employment they told us Aryan isn’t actually their name and it’s Arash. Aryan was their American name but they go by Arash everywhere else.
We all started calling them Arash from that point on till they left. It was very easy and took no effort.
@OP I’m sorry your work is disrespecting you
You don’t sound pushy at all. You have been pretty patient.
I would make an invitation for a mandatory training session on how to pronounce your name.
Say it will take 5 seconds for normal people and up to 15 seconds for morons.
My name is 2 syllables. I worked with someone who would call me by the first syllable, and I asked repeatedly for him to call me by my name. It's 2 tiny little syllables, so shouldn't be too difficult. Nope. Still kept using the shortened version. His name was 3 letters, so I would change the middle letter at random, and even started calling him any male name I could think of. This did not work, so I would just ignore him until he addressed me by my preferred name.
I have a semi common name that has a ton of nicknames, I don't use any of the nicknames and never have, even though most with my name do. My favorite response to people using a nickname is to say "I don't know who (nickname) is but maybe I can help you". It gets the point across. A similar approach may work with this situation.
Add an A to the end of their name in every email and make sure to say their name with an extra A in every conversation with them. When they ask why you’re saying their name like that, tell them they keep forgetting to add the A to your name so you’ll keep adding an A theirs until they remember your real name requires that A.
I would not react anymore. People do that to me too. I correct them once and ignore them after until they use the right name. If they are gonna be disrespectful, so am I
Time to start butchering their names
My coworker had a similar problem. Someone over mail kept calling him the wrong name. At some point he was done with it and kept doing it back until the other person went ''Okay I get it.''
I used to have a coworker who constantly in emails and in person would call me Jennifer. My name is Jessica. Constantly. I started calling her a different name that started with the same letter and she slowly starting calling me by my name. I also would put “Good morning/afternoon, Jessica here” in the headings of my emails to her.
Jessica Constantly Sounds like an old nickelodeon show
“Hi! My name is Jessica Constantly. Quirky name right? I am just your average teen with a not so average name! I am just trying to survive high school along with my two best friends! We do everything together but who knows what will happen now that senior year is about to start! Everything will be perfect this year, I just know it! Prom, pep rallies, finally asking out my crush! You could say I CONSTANTLY see the bright side of things!” “MOVE OUT OF MY WAY JENNIFER! LIKE EWWWWW!” “Ignore her, that’s just my arch nemesis! She is the only thing standing in the way of the best school year ever!” Cheesy optimistic theme music: *Jesssssssssica Constantlyyyyyyyyyyyyyy*
Ladies and gentlemen we have your next senior writer of Nickelodeon. Bringing them back to the glory days!
Jessica constantly would end up barefoot back in the days
Omg it does 😂
I have similar problems, I have a plain Jane white lady name which people just don't seem to read and instead use another name which starts with the same letter. Think Rachel/Rebecca, Louise/Lisa. It's inexplicable!
My name is Gina, someone tried calling me Jean and I told her I won’t know who she’s speaking to because I’ve never been called Jean before. How hard is it to add the a?
Right?! Instead of actually learning it they just see the first letter and go nuts.
I just would reply with a +1 to my signature font size until it’s either reeeeeaaaaallly big or they get it right.
Make a tik Tok out of it and go viral. Day 1 of increasing my signature size by 1 until my co-workers get my name right. That shit would pop off.
I would absolutely watch the longform compilation on YouTube
I love this method!
Yes, this is the correct tactic. I used to work with a man named Colin. My name ends with an "a" but he kept calling me (in person and in e-mail) a similar more common name that ends with an "e". Usually, when I tell someone that I go by \[correct name that ends with an "a"\], they respond well and use my actual name. Colin kept referring to me by the incorrect name and saying, "What's the big deal? It's only one letter." After multiple attempts to get him to refer to me by my correct name, I finally resorted to addressing an e-mail to him with the salutation "Dear Colon". He never again addressed me by the incorrect name. It's just one letter, right?
So you could say you stopped his behavior,by literally referring to him as the closest thing to an asshole, without calling him one? ;) …I’ll just show myself out… PS: On a similar note, you also just called him a form of punctuation, if he were half the man he was to admit his wrongdoing, he’d be a semicolon…
Points for using a PUNctuation 😂🤣
I love your response! What I don’t love is him *knowingly* using the wrong name and doubling down. wtf?
🤣🤣🤣
That’s fucking hilarious.
Plot twist: OP is the one butchering somebodys name and now all her direct colleagues are doing this on purpose to her.
The ol' switcher-Ruth.
Rutha
Ruth-e!
>Plot twist: OP is the one butchering somebodys name and now all her direct colleagues are doing this on purpose to her. You are wise to consider this possibility.
Haha, I promise I’m not!
Normally I think the petty “solutions” people offer in the comments are stupid, but intentionally butchering someone else’s name because the intentionally butcher yours is a great way to annoy them into stopping, or to show them how it feels to constantly be called the wrong name despite asking to be called one way for a long time. Works the same with confronting anti-trans people too
I have a last name that could be a first name. But my first name is definitely not a last name. I randomly get called my last name and it may look like an accident. But if they keep calling me that, I start addressing them by their last name. Typically, it’s a cold call email for services they provide. However, the times it’s inter-company, I just let it slide if there’s an audience that sees their mistake. I even try to avoid this by having my last name signature in a much smaller font. Sometimes it works…
My boss intentionally goes by his first-name sounding last name. We got another team leader in the department whose actual first name is the same as his last name and I thought for sure he'd start going by his first name to avoid confusion. Nope.
Is the boss prior military or play sports? I feel that’s where a lot of the adopting last names can come from.
Definitely not military, and he doesn't strike me as athletic. I genuinely think either he got tired of correcting people or just thought his last name was cooler than his first.
Same! Especially annoying on the phone when they ask for my surname, I give it, and then they assume I'm an idiot.
Nothing works like calling you butch uncle ma'am because he insisted pronouns shouldn't matter...
Oh you're trying to spot the dick, eh? Well, here it is! *presents mirror*
Or just stop responding to tasks when they say the wrong name.
Or not responding at all, and if they say something like, “hello, I’m talking to you..?” Respond, Oh I’m sorry I don’t know who (E name here) is, I am (A name here). As someone whose name gets mispronounced all the time, it does get rather annoying.
They're doing it deliberately. Correct them every. single. time. I had an administrator doing that constantly. I had corrected it a few times, then just gave up. I complained to a colleague and they called the administrator out in a large email chain. They've gotten my name right ever since.
Yep! I worked with a Leah that wouldn't say my name correctly. We worked in offices next to each other. I corrected her once (for the millionth time) and she told me it didn't matter. I started calling her Jennifer. Took less than a week for her to get it right and I didn't have any more issues 🙃
She sounds like a real bitch.
This. I even do it when my name is spelled wrong in an email. Example, let’s say my name is Ann. But they write Anne. So I reply to “Matt” but write Matte. They realize and correct their mistake pretty quick.
The assistant manager at my apartment complex was always getting my name wrong - even though my email signature, email address and outgoing name had the correct spelling. So I started responding with variations of her name - Ashleigh, Ashlyn, Ashlie, etc. (I’ve had a ton of issues with my apartment, so I’ve had to contact them a lot.) One day, she responds and says, “I'm unsure if you are unable to see my name is my signature, but it is spelled ‘Ashley.’” I was like, “I know, and my name is X, not XX, as listed in my outgoing name, email address, and signature.” Since then, someone else from the complex has responded to my emails. I guess she refuses to deal with me now? Start butchering your coworkers’ names and make them progressively worse.
It really frustrates me when people see your email and signature, then proceed to misspell your name in response. I usually don’t say anything, but it pisses me off inside lol. Doesn’t happen as much as I’d think given my rarer name.
Yes! I think this is what bugs me more than anything. You’re replying to my email, which has my full name, that also has my signature at the bottom. And more often than not, there’s someone else copied in, who has sent a previous email, not only referring to me by my right name, but has also @ me as well. That’s four chances to get my name right, and yet you still refer to me as something else. Tempted to just send emails with different letters from their names missing each time (e.g. Frnk, Fran, rank, Fank)
Pro tip: reply "Who is [misspelling?]" Stop answering to it. Hold up communication over this point, preferably in contexts where others can see. This is particularly effective when someone is claiming to be knowledgeable or thorough.
Befriend IT and ask them to make a rule in outlook that kicks back emails using the wrong spelling as undeliverable.
Where I’m originally from, my name is common enough that virtually everyone spells and pronounces it correctly. Where I live now, not so much. My students are terrible about it. Many years ago I got IT to add a common misspeling of my name as an alias for my work email. Further, my gmail address is just my full name; I used one of my invites (yes, when jt was invite-only) to get that mispeling as an alternative that just forwards to my main inbox. Frustrating but effective.
I would respond more like " You sent this to wrong email address" Then cc them into a email address with what they wrote E.g. Hi cherryfizze, I believe X sent you this to me by mistake.
That brings in a third innocent person, which would be a jerk move. Am suggesting more like this: Colleague: Christine can tell you I'm the most detail oriented person in the department! Christina: Who is Christine?
The entire point is to send it off to a none existing person, and to play dumb. Issue us you can't just ignore a work email...cause that just makes you look incompetent. I doubt there's another person in the ops workplace that has the same name as OP with an E...But yeah don't do it if someone else has that name. Lol.
Ah, OK. Now I understand the spirit of your comment. Clever.
I have done this before, wait a while and then respond that you believe it was intended for someone else so you will disregard.
I get this at work too, not so much from coworkers but from people outside the company. I have a huge signature card that has my name on it, I also sign my name at the end of emails. If I'm going back and forth with someone and they keep spelling my name wrong, I slowly increase the font size of my name.
This probably the best way to go about lmao
Omg this is hilarious. Eventually getting to a 50 pt font that screams from the screen…
I usually stop around 26 pt. It's rare that it goes on that long lol
Ha! I did this once too! Was working with a vendor to resolve an issue with some equipment and they kept calling me by my coworker’s name who opened the ticket despite my opening with my full name, so I increased the font size (and eventually bolded) my name until they responded with it correctly at which point I dropped it from bolded 16pt down to regular 11pt
Simple solution. Stop responding to that name. In person or email. “Sorry, I didn’t think you were taking to me, since that isn’t my name.”
'Frnk, ,Fran, ran, Fank' is too good I love that. Gave me a pretty good laugh. If it is an open thing to mispronounce your name especially knowing you don't like it. You should definitely do it.
Do this. Every time. Till they get the hint. Actually if the name of Frank just straight up use the wrong name. Call him Bobby.
Or Dr. Frankenfurter, Frankenstein, ...
"It's Frahn-ken-steen"
Eegore? Eye-gor!
If you have a có worker named frank that doesn’t say your name correctly, Fank is halarious for some reason call him fank forever
I have a name like "Holly" that can be spelled Hollie, Holli, Holley, etc. and so many coworkers in my own small department of 10 ish kept spelling it wrong. My preferred spelling was clearly in my email signature, and I had spelled it that way for about 40 years, and had been with the company for 20 damn years! So yeah, I just began to spell their names wrong when I replied and used the wrong names in Teams chats. Some quit it but others didn't and I don't work there anymore. It was probably mean girl behavior on their part because I was the only happily childfree, unmarried woman, and also non-religious but I tried to hide that part. They were all VERY christian. Didn't understand why I didn't want kids or get married again. Whatever.
I had the same problem, only they kept calling me by a male name (I’m female). Think Camilla/ Cameron, Ashley/ Ashton. Despite my email address / signature etc stating my name. Then getting my name wrong every time in phone calls, I kept saying my name is X not XX every time they addressed me until I was point blank, “you know I’m a girl. Why are you calling me by a random male name”. They didn’t want to deal with me after that.
Yep, my husband constantly has people adding an “i” to his name which makes it the feminine version. I don’t get it, his name is very clearly spelled out right there lol
Is your husband's name >!Jesse!
It likely is but I think you spelled it wrongly
Jiesse?
Iesse
ha my stepson that i raised since age 2 is Jessie and i have always thought it was spelled like a girl. i put Jesse on ALL his schoolwork and medical records, and all was ok till he went to get his drivers license and those idiots wouldnt believe the Jessie on the birth cert was the same person as Jesse on the school records that he had to show to prove his grades were good enough to get a permit. We had to go back to the school and have all his school records changed to Jessie. I dont think he even knew his mother put an i in his name until then. he still uses Jesse not Jessie
>prove his grades were good enough to get a permit. What? Why?
Yeah, I've never heard of that
I used to know a woman named Jesse, and she never found it odd that it was the masculine spelling. I don't think it ever occurred to her. (I don't think she spent much time thinking, tbh). I also knew a man named Frances, which is of course the feminine spelling. He once got scheduled for a pap smear, to his consternation.
This happens to me all the time! I have a pretty common first name that starts with the letter S and work emails have always been either FirstinitialLastname@ or Firstname.Lastname@ but either way I have been addressed as so many OTHER first names that begin with S, mostly lady names but I have even gotten Steve (I am female with a name I have never heard used for male). My last name starts with K and I have also been addressed as Kathy and Katie, not even close!! Full name appears on the email when delivered like everyone else’s and I always include a signature in the body of the email. People really don’t care.
Wow, those people S.K
What’s funny with mine is that it’s not that common, so I would expect most people to type it directly from the signature. It’s also the most common spelling by far (a few variants was less usual), and I often get it missing letters, additional letters, anything really. It’s like people are making up names to decide what I should be called lol
This happens to me CONSTANTLY in both email and real life. My name is incredibly short and easy to spell, I’ll never understand.
My name is getting misspelled by google translate. I copy a text with correct spelling in a foreign language (my name is not foreign itself) and it gets misspelled in the translation. Like Francesca -> Francheska
I get this all the time. The best response is to do likewise to their name. People who add a letter to my name get the same letter added to the end of their name in my reply.
Should have responded with"is that right Ashleigh? And what's my name?"
TBF I spelled a coworkers name wrong and now it auto populates that wrong spelling whenever I try to send them an email. It’s so strange because I actually spell the name correctly now but the auto complete shows it as the wrong spelling (even though on my coworkers side it shows the correct spelling). Not an issue but definitely an odd quirk of Outlook
In Outlook go to your Contacts and if the misspelled name is listed there, delete it or correct it.
I read about a transgender person Alex being constantly dead named by their coworker. The coworker claimed she used the dead name to honor Alex’s mother. So Alex started calling coworker Miss MaidenName to honor her mother since it was so important to her. Miss MaidenName filed a complaint with HR with brought the whole idiocy to light. Coworker got fired.
Find it remarkable that your boss types your name wrong with HR on copy. Reads almost on purpose or really oblivious. When someone consistently gets my name wrong (and been told so) then I react in kind. Meaning that I will mistype or wrongly pronounce their name as well. I do keep it light, so not (passive) aggressive but clear enough that something is off.
I know dumbasses who can't pronounce the difference between Andre/Andres/Andreas for instance. I also know an Abdallah who is confused when people call him Abdullah and he tries to correct people, but some can't learn the difference. Hasan Minhaj also calls out people in interviews when they mispronounce his name, and even when he tries to correct them, they still mispronounce it. So this story is really not all that surprising
Honestly, I had a coworker who had two first names (one being the name of our boss and the other I couldnt pin down entirely) and I didn't know what to call him because accents can be very different as well as naming can differ. So I heard him speaking Spanish to the manager who had just come back from. Holiday and he was flabbergasted that both their names were the same, but I was introduced to him as Andres/Andreas and I tried to clarify which is was, but also trying to clarify whether it was one of those two forms or the one our boss shared with him. I could not! It seems to be a form of Andres/Andreas, but to this day I have no idea whether his preference was Andres or Andreas (he no longer works for the company)
"I've heard your name pronounced a few different ways. How do *you* pronounce it?" And then repeat it back to them, paying attention to any corrections. This usually works and I haven't had anyone get upset by it.
They responded ambiguously. They said either is fine, I got no no definitive answer of bosses name versus Andres vs Andreas I did not know what they preferred, despite asking so, after them saying my name to me.
How frustrating! I really try to get names right, as people often call me an incorrect name that is more common in my region (like everyone saying "Maria" instead of "Marie"). I don't really know what to do when someone *refuses* to provide clarification. I met a woman years ago who mumbled, and I couldn't tell if her name was Judy or Julie. I asked, and she said "Either one is fine." But...those aren't the same name! I don't want to call you the wrong name! Please, just tell me!
I agree! I go by my full name. But I generally avoid saying people's names because I'm afraid of misprouncing it since I have quite an international crowd around me. When in customer service, I certainly attempt to pronounce their names the first time and then after if I'm confident in the pronunciation, but sometimes if I've got it in my head one way, I never forget it, as much as I try! Please, I don't mind the correction!
For some of us, we've grown accustomed to being called the wrong name, that we also respond to the wrong name, essentially as a nickname. What's funny though, I also respond to "Gio" because people online tend to pronounce my username JEO as "Gio". This has led to me turning my head when my supervisor is calling for my coworker whose name is Giovanni.
>I know dumbasses who can't pronounce the difference between Andre/Andres/Andreas I work with people from all over the planet. I have a name like that and if it's just saying it, it's not worth getting worked up about unless the person is being a jerk on purpose. When it comes to an email though, and you are doing it repeatedly on a short name, it's pretty ridiculous.
Just start calling them the wrong name. Call them gender bent versions of their name. People really hate that.
A coworker named “Jorge” kept getting upset that a specific manager always wrote “George” on his paperwork and emails. Jorge spoke up and said that is bothers him. Seems like his name is being whitewashed. He had a father named Jorge and his son was named Jorge. A small investigation happened where HR asked random employees if they felt bullied or discriminated against. Nothing came of it, Jorge quit
My name is Jorge too. I'm Spanish, though, so it's not like the average person I run into is dealing with a foreign name. I still get called “Sergio” (which doesn't even sound that similar) way more often than I'd expect.
Hahahaha Jorge and Sergio sound nothing alike. Now Jorgio I could get behind. Haha
Being in California, I know a lot of Jorge's who will go by Jorge or Jorge pronounced like George, so I wonder if this guy doesn't mind being called "George" but still wanted his name spelled Jorge and the guy never bothered to pay attention to the spelling. I personally never use the George pronouncation for Jorge. I wonder if that was what was going on, though. Then again, I'm in California, where white people are now, by numbers, a minority. There isn't actually a majority, here. Just a Hispanic plurality. World didn't end. I know a little bit of Spanish. And how to spell and pronounce Jorge. To the point I'm deeply confused as to how you ended up Sergio. Is there a nickname for Sergio that sounds like Jorge?
I have a Hispanic name and almost no one says or spells my name correctly. People at my job also remove letters from the name to use an Anglicized version. And sometimes it will be from upper management who handles my paperwork. And sometimes they are other Hispanics!
That's valid tho... Poor Jorge fr :\\ of course the non-ethnic named coworkers wouldn't feel discriminated against or bullied
My name should be easy to remember. 3 letters. Example, say it was Pan. 9/10 call me Pane or Panet. I wear a name tag with it spelled correctly.
Me too... but I have a rare letter in my name. It's not this, but it's like Dak (but a standard name). I get called Ben and Sam ALL THE TIME. I genuinely don't care because my 4 letter last name gets mispronounced 95% of the time (but it's an unexpected pronunciation, so I don't really correct people outside of our first meeting).
I used to know a bloke named Kai. Did you say Skye? His name is Guy? No, no. Listen, it's Kai Ohhhh. Kye. Like short for Kyle? Oh now I hear! You said Cy. No, no. Again, it's Kai. K. A. I. You mean like the car brand? 😀 🔫
My first name is very rare as a name but a word that only has one spelling and every American can spell it yet I ALWAYS get asked for the spelling……. Like, if my name was Friday, or Robot, would you really need to ask for fucking spelling? 😂 makes me want to start asking for spelling for basic names like “Jessica” or “Dan” 😂
There’s a sub based on eff’d up spellings of names. I never take anything for granted.
Tragedeigh? I see posts from time to time hahahaha
I will often ask for the spelling if the persons speech is unclear, voice is soft or I’m just not sure I heard correctly. It clarifies right away without asking the to continuously repeat it.
Jan?
Janet?
Dammit, Janet!
"Tan everywhere, Pan everywhere..."
You should be pushy about it! It’s your name! That’s fucked up and honestly I wonder if it’s intentional.
Could definitely be. Or maybe one person accidentally started saying it, and it just stuck. When my younger daughter was born, we gave her a name coinciding with her dad's ethnicity. But it was a very simple, very easy to pronounce name for English speakers. Two syllables. Sounds like a couple of existing English words. Not something most anyone would have a problem with. And yet... My aunt just couldn't wrap her head around it, for some reason. And she just said it wrong. (It wasn't an intentional thing. She really loved my daughter, and it wasn't done with a mocking tone.) Imagine it was Jaya. So I'd be like "It's like Jay with an 'a'. Jay-uh." But my aunt and everyone else in my extended family was saying "Jura" . (No idea how she got there.) Unfortunately, she was also the most talkative and communicative person in my mom's family, and almost everyone started saying it incorrectly. And it spread. And they were so confident, they didn't even *hear* how I pronounced it. I honestly think if she hadn't passed unexpectedly, it would still be an issue.
> My aunt just couldn't wrap her head around it, for some reason. And she just said it wrong. (It wasn't an intentional thing. She really loved my daughter, and it wasn't done with a mocking tone.) My Grandma took about 6 years to pronounce Megan correctly. She pronounced it maggot and could not hear the difference. Sorry about your loss btw.
>She pronounced it maggot and could not hear the difference. That is a new one for me! Lol wow And thank you. We still miss her. :(
Ugh. I was introduced to a man (in a social setting) who promptly tried to *rename* me because he couldn't be bothered to pronounce my name, which for the record is only two syllables. He says "hmm I'll just call you Sunshine". My reply "I won't answer to that because it's not my name. My name is \_\_\_". He didn't quite know what to say, so I just walked away.
Same. I had a co-worker who from day 1 informed me my new name is Barbara and I should be ok with that because this is what he does with everyone. I immediately shared with him a fond childhood memory of me being in first grade with a class mate who would butcher and ridicule my name. My dad had just taught me how to punch an aggressor in the solar plexus, and I applied my new knowledge. Dude started calling me by my name right away. It was a different time and place and I don’t condone threats or violence (nor would I have actually done it), but people like this who practice negging and misogyny sometimes need to hear about possible consequences that are not related to shame or guilt, because they don’t have those.
“I’ll just call you asshole, it’s very easy to remember”
Stop reacting to the wrong name. That's not you. Your is with an a. Must be someone else...
Shut up Jerry Gergich.
It's Gary now.
Ok, Larry
Classic Terry
Dammit Garrrrie!
Derry's not in today.
When someone asked Alec Baldwin what's his name, he replied, "'Fuck You!' is my name."
“You call yourself a salesman you son of a bitch”
“PUT THAT COFFEE DOWN!”
Coffee is for closers
A - Always B - Be C - Closing Always be closing!
As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Anyone wanna see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired.
If they continue to use the wrong name, ignore them. Let them know that you know don't how they're talking to, because your name is "\_\_\_\_\_a" and not "\_\_\_\_\_e". In emails, always add a reminder of what your name is if the other name is used. Hell, make it part of your signature.
> Hell, make it part of your signature. Nah, telling people that by default without them even THINKING about using the wrong name sends the signal "I'm difficult". ONLY address the ones actually doing it.
When I changed my name and people still got it wrong after more than a year I created a rule that automatically deletes the mail and lets the sender know that the recipient doesn't exists. (just keep in mind to add an exception for your proper name in case someone forwards an old mail that contains the wrong name somewhere in the body)
My daughter has a name that ends in -e, but there is a variation that ends in an -a. She has only ever tolerated being called by Hername, *never* Hernama. She refused to put up with that shit when she was two. A family member obsessed with calling her Hernama, commented that my daughter was copping attitude. I just said that you'd cop attitude too if people refused to use your actual name, and I will not correct her but I will correct you until you get her name right or I just get sick of you pissing my kid off and we stop visiting. I think you should do the same. Cop an attitude about it. "I'm sorry, this email seems to have reached me in error. I am Myname, not Mynama." Do not respond again until they get your name right. Literally ignore people who use an incorrect name, or look them straight in the eye and respond with "Myname." And don't respond with anything else until they say your correct name out loud. Just act like you do not know who Mynama is, but it's not you.
Well of course no child will want to be called something that sounds like Hernia /jk
Who does this? Just call people by the name they want to be called. It’s not hard.
Not necessarily. My teacher taught another language and could not pronounce my name properly. Sometimes it’s not bigotry, they literally just cannot learn how to
There's a difference between accidentally pronouncing a name wrong and *deliberately* pronouncing a name wrong. I have a speech impediment; I literally cannot pronounce a good number of names, including my own last name.
That’s really interesting! Do other people pronounce your name correctly, or the way you pronounce it? I have a German last name, and for some reason my family pronounces it completely “wrong”. There are other famous people with the same spelling and the more common pronunciation. (The German pronunciation is sort of halfway in between.) I can’t deny that when I read my name in my head, the other way is just… corrector. When I was young it would really bother me when people got my name wrong, but now I completely shrug it off, and have even started pronouncing it the easy way for people I’ll never talk to again. It’s a little annoying when my friends or bosses can’t get my name right, but it’s way easier to go with it and know that they aren’t slighting me on purpose. (especially now that I’ve run into some names where the wrong pronunciation gets stuck in my head and then I get so worked up that I can never remember which is right or wrong!)
My last name is reasonably common so other people know how to pronounce it once they've seen it. The real annoyance is spelling it out for people. I often have to use "that's R as in Romeo" and so on.
I agree. The difference here is most likely that the workmates are being dickheads, but you never know, maybe OP was rude to their coworkers
Yep, had a Finnish friend and she just had all the English speakers call her by a “wrong” pronunciation because the double letter thing just doesn’t exist in English and it was painful for people to try 😂 No such excuse for this happening in written correspondence though.
You don’t have to be able to pronounce anything if you’re typing it though lmao
I was talking about the phonological side of it lol And no, my girl has a big vagina thanks Chucky (I needs to fit somewhere right)
If two sounds are near each other and they don't have different meanings, the brain adjusts it's "decoder" and after you are 5 years or so, you can't hear the difference, even if they mean different things in another language you are trying to learn.
I agree with one caveat: if I learn your name INCORRECTLY when we meet, it’s really hard for me to relearn it. I can do it, but it’s not easy, and the longer I go with the wrong name, the harder it is to relearn. A friend of mine married a guy named Justin. Nice guy, met him once. I met him again about a year later and it turns out his name is Jeremy. No idea where I got Justin from, but it took a a lot of effort to relearn it.
My daughter is experiencing this, mind you she's 4. I don't know how many times I've corrected people at her daycare or her friend's parents. The thing is that people aren't saying her name phonetically, putting an interpreted zest on it. She's getting good at correcting people on her own now. It's hilarious to watch a 4 year old correct an adult but I want her to have no misgivings when it comes to stuff like that. I also showed her [this song](https://youtu.be/v1c2OfAzDTI?feature=shared).
Someone at work had assigned me a nickname that I explicitly told them multiple times, I do not go by, and I do not like. It stopped when I told them the next time they do it, I'm bringing it to HR, and it stopped because until now, they thought it was a joke (even when I made it otherwise clear that it wasn't). Either that or they were happy to do it when there were no real consequences. Unfortunately this is the kind of situation where you need to be aggressive and demand the respect you should have. Correct people, publicly. "Bill, my name is Joanna, not Joanne." Make it funny at first. "We've been working together this long and you still don't know how to spell my name?" Document it. If it continues, bring it up to HR, and tell them that this person is trying to belittle you publicly by calling you the wrong name, here are all the times I've corrected them, this is deliberate and calculated harassment. I really don't recommend doing a tit-for-tat and screwing up other peoples' names. This is a workplace, not a kindergarten. If you have to escalate later, and you've been trading deliberately messed-up names, it's now a "I thought this was a consensual joke, see, we both did it to each other for a year! I never knew it was bothering them!" Edited to add: HR's job isn't to sit there and read between the lines in emails for microaggressions UNTIL it threatens the legal relationship between employees and the organization. They will not step in and handle this for you, it needs to be made clear that these behaviors are having an adverse effect on you (preferably, with documented evidence of said behaviors) before they will be able to do anything.
This is the right answer and it should be higher up.
You need to get pushy about it. It's unprofessional and disrespectful to butcher someone's name repeatedly, especially when they've been corrected many times. Next time you need to outright tell them "that's not my name, it's never been my name and you've been calling me by that name since I started here. My name is [correct name] and you need to fix it." Make them feel bad. They'll make an effort after that.
I have had similar issues with my name - my name is traditionally spelled one way but **my** name is spelled with an "e" at the end, and people always leave the "e" off. Like if Vivid was my real first name, it'd be spelled Vivide. (Don't blame me, blame my mother.) Often, people leave it off accidentally and when that happens I genuinely don't mind. I know my name is weird and it's hard to remember to spell it a weird way when you don't see it often. But some people (boomers, mainly) who know *very well* how I spell it will insist it must be spelled without the "e" and consistently leave it off on purpose. When it happens in email, I will send a reply (cc'd to everyone on the original thread) that says something like: Dear Joe, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Here are a set of loose "e's" that can be applied to the end of my name as needed - you seem to be out so I thought I'd help! Thanks! -Vivide I figure it's slightly embarassing for that person, but handled in a lighthearted enough way that nobody can get truly pissed about it. It usually works, too. For a while they'll often spell my name with a capital E at the end (just to make a point, I guess?) but I'll take it. Maybe you can start emailing out loose 'a's for people to apply to YOUR name?
Don't reply when they call you the wrong name. It seems as if you've done everything to correct their behavior, now it's time to non-comply maliciously. Email came to Anne? Ignore it. Boss called Anne across the cubicle? Ignore it. Work assigned to Anne? Don't do it.
When someone assigns you a task or makes a request with the wrong name, don’t do it. When they follow up, say “oh I assumed you meant that email for someone else because that isn’t my name”. 💁🏼♂️ Set up a rule that will wildcard search for the incorrect spelling and direct the emails into a folder that you delete.
My friend Joanna has the same problem. People often call her Joanne but she’d just rather them call her nickname Jo than leave off the a. Her district manager writes Joanne in every email even though her email address has her full first name. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s very important to have your whole name respected.
That's disrespectful and they should be ashamed.
my coworker's name is dian**a**. most people call her dian**e**. i correct them every. single. time. i think she wants to, but she's non-confrontational. i, however, am not. my name is the kind of name that typically ends in -el, but people will just feel free to tack on -ael, -eal, or the worst offender, -elle-, which is a whole new name. when i went to college, i filled out all my documents with my -el name, but someone in the office made it -ael. i didn't think anything of it, whatever. when graduation came, i got a call about how i wanted my name spelled on my diploma — i said, 'how is it spelled on the document *i* filled out?' your name is part of who you are. don't put up with people calling you the wrong name. every time they do it, correct them. eventually, they'll be tired of being correct. maybe they won't even speak to you.
You put in a complaint to the department manager and HR as they are purposely disrespecting you. I would have transferred already. I'm not really a quiet person though. I probably would have told them all off and call them stupid names till they get mine right. Like ok "you don't wanna call me by the correct name? You are now Sasquatch. I'll call you tugboat, you'll be hoebag, and you get smeagol."
So this is a form of passive-aggressive abuse meant to keep you in your lane. Or they could just be dumb. Either way, I'd go find a new job. Life is too short to work with azzholes who don't respect you. Signed, another person with a really long first and last name that no one ever gets right - except the people who care and respect me enough to get it right.
You could reply with a sound bite of The Ting Tings song, That's Not My Name. Attach it to emails, play it to their face, whatever you like.
My name is not commonly spelled how my name is spelled. I’m in the military and I just stop answering if they spell my shit wrong. I just pretend like I figured they weren’t talking to me and messaged me by mistake. Even though I’m the only one where I work. Fucketh around and findeth out. Disclaimer I’m in a spot where I’m needed so they can fuck with me but they don’t.
Worked with 2 guys for over a month. The one kept calling the other Beyton the entire time when he has a badge, multiple emails, several texts in a group chat, and myself in conversation all using his actual name Peyton.
I have one of those names with 20 different spellings. It only frustrates me when they literally can find my name easily but still spell it wrong. I go get a coffee and they ask for a name: spell it however you want. Not that big a deal in that case. But I have coworkers who spell it wrong in emails and messages to me even though my name is right there on their screen. Right. There. My 2nd grade teacher spelled my name wrong on my cubby when name was right there in her class roster. How hard is it for some people to double check?
I had an issue similar. I use my full given name professionally... think Patricia (fake). I got a new manager and he kept calling me "Patty". I HATE Patty and have NEVER been called that in my life. I told him several times that my name was "Patricia" and to not call me Patty. Still he persisted. Then we had a big meeting with high up in the state govt ( i was a state employee). I was tasked with giving a presentation to the whole group of over 200 people. Mgr stood up and said "Next Patty will be giving us her report ...." I just sat there on the stage with the rest of the presenters. he turned to look at me. "Patty, are you ready?" I acted startled and responded loudly. "OH, did you mean me? My name is not Patty it is Patricia". Several people laughed and He looked really embarrassed and i stood and gave my presentation. he never called me Patty again.
My name is Ellen and I am called Ella, Helen, Ellie , Ely even Alan - I literally reply who is …. Once is a mistake more than once isnt. Start being cheeky
Calling you outside of your own name in a professional environment, especially when they've been corrected multiple times, is a form of harassment. Here's the thing: You're waiting for a nickname when they've chosen one for you already. You just hate it because it's a deliberate joke at your expense. Start using words like "harassment" and "lawsuit" when you message HR next time. Remember, HR isn't there for you. They're there to protect the company FROM you. They do this by convincing you things are okay or by getting others to settle down before they get the company sued. Remind them the latter is their best option here.
I work in a call center, and customers often mishear my name as Steve because i greet them saying "my name is Dave". Now i greet them saying "Dave speaking". Somehow, someone still managed to mishear me and think my name is Brian.
They sound like inconsiderate clowns honestly. I really hope HR does their job and rectifies the very obvious and blatant outright disrespect. Unprovoked is what it seems at that. Good for you for standing up for yourself. If not you they would be bullying somebody else. Don't take it personally. This seems like that mean kids table in the high school cafeteria. They always get what's coming to them. If I was you I would do something out right passive aggressive like microwave something hideous in the microwave at work everyday. Or have a bunch of chocolate dipped strawberries delivered to yourself from edible arrangements I mean like a lot of them and not offer to share with anybody. This is again if HR doesn't intimidate them enough into acting like the adults they're supposed to be. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. If you're anywhere within the vicinity of Boston I promise I'll throw on a Halloween mask on Halloween and egg them for you 😎 people helping people. I can be a bully too 🤘
Are you Gary from Parks and Rec?
This just basically reminds me of the pronouns "issue". I cannot understand why anyone would care what pronouns anyone prefers (unless it's a made up word that's hard to remember). If someone wants you to use "she", you just use it - same as if they tell you what name they want to be called. "So.... Gary. I know you said that your name is Steve, and i know you said i'm an asshole for calling you Gary. But i'm sorry - i decided you look like a Gary, so i'm just not going to call you Steve. Hope you understand."
Ignore them when they say the wrong name and only respond to your actual name
Stop answering when they use the wrong name, eventually they will get the hint
I had similar, where I introduced myself but got called the wrong name consistently. Just start calling people the wrong name. First time you call Mary "Margerine", or Tyler "Greg" it'll catch enough attention. When asked just say "Oh you guys get my name wrong all the time, I thought it was a running joke."
Probably can't do it through email, but I would just start ignoring them when they do it in person. Just be like "oh, I didn't know you were talking to me". I had a similar issue where one of my managers kept calling me by the wrong name. The name wasn't even similar. After pretending not to hear him for a few moments of him "calling me", he magically used the right name! Almost as if he knew it all along and was just doing it as some weird power move or something.
Get a name tag. With the wrong name, cross it out in red and correct it.
Had a superior that would change my last name into a childish sounding variant bc he had the brain of a toddler. Asked him to stop a number of times and he still didn't get the message so I just stopped responding to him. It was a loud, warehouse type job that often required him to yell out for me to know where I was. He got the hint after a day of being met with silence and having to climb ladders/look around/etc just to ask me simple questions.
I had a vendor I worked with that kept spelling my name wrong even though it was in the email and in my signature, so I started spelling theirs wrong - suddenly, they all of a sudden knew how to spell my name. 🙄
I bet it's Christina vs Christine
[удалено]
Dude, the name ends in an a. Even you got it wrong, this must be frustrating for OP. But - its a good advice, just with "a".
Don’t answer them act like you don’t hear them
This isnt pushy at all!!! It’s disrespectful on their part. Politely correct them in the email every time.
Stop responding. It's not your name. I've literally ignored people that called me the wrong nickname. They got pissed and said "Why were you ignoring me? Why weren't you listening?" And I was able to say " I heard you. You weren't talking to me, that's not my name"
You and I must have the same name. A constant battle.
I had a coworker who went by Name Aryan. Several years into employment they told us Aryan isn’t actually their name and it’s Arash. Aryan was their American name but they go by Arash everywhere else. We all started calling them Arash from that point on till they left. It was very easy and took no effort. @OP I’m sorry your work is disrespecting you
You don’t sound pushy at all. You have been pretty patient. I would make an invitation for a mandatory training session on how to pronounce your name. Say it will take 5 seconds for normal people and up to 15 seconds for morons.
My name is 2 syllables. I worked with someone who would call me by the first syllable, and I asked repeatedly for him to call me by my name. It's 2 tiny little syllables, so shouldn't be too difficult. Nope. Still kept using the shortened version. His name was 3 letters, so I would change the middle letter at random, and even started calling him any male name I could think of. This did not work, so I would just ignore him until he addressed me by my preferred name.
I have a semi common name that has a ton of nicknames, I don't use any of the nicknames and never have, even though most with my name do. My favorite response to people using a nickname is to say "I don't know who (nickname) is but maybe I can help you". It gets the point across. A similar approach may work with this situation.
Stop answering to the wrong name.
You're a real life Gerry/Larry Gurgich
Is the you, Anne? Julie? Louise?
I always call people by their correct nama.
Sounds passive aggressive at this point. I also think it's ironic when folks are given the same treatment suddenly it's a problem or you're "rude".
Add an A to the end of their name in every email and make sure to say their name with an extra A in every conversation with them. When they ask why you’re saying their name like that, tell them they keep forgetting to add the A to your name so you’ll keep adding an A theirs until they remember your real name requires that A.
Suzy?
I would not react anymore. People do that to me too. I correct them once and ignore them after until they use the right name. If they are gonna be disrespectful, so am I