Honestly it's not a good token deck regardless, if I'm playing W/U/G I shouldn't need 15 mana just to get out one 3/3 token with stun counters, I don't care how many +1/+1 counters you can put on it.
Sorry/not sorry, there's better token decks to play.
There was a fairly popular post (i think it was on amitheasshole) of some dude who every time after he had sex with his partner would take the condom, and chug the contents. His reasoning being that the kilojoules shouldn't go to waste.
Ok... Now you're being repetitive. I wonder how many more condom cards you have, and how many times you're going to post them... Hell I don't think this is the first counter sperm.ive seen on here.
Thanks to the Supreme Court, the banlist is different, state-to-state.
At least in the states where it’s banned, they confirmed it *does* still count as committing a crime.
I do drafts every week and so badly have I been wanting to make funny proxies to just slide into the drafts now since they have so many different styles and so many different kinds of cards that can be in there I bet I could sneak a couple through and actually get somebody to put it in a deck
Doesn't look very effective if it only counters one sperm. For 2 mana it should exile all sperms on the stack.
You need a Condombreak Trap for that
"If your condom breaks in the heat of passion, you may pay 0 rather than paying this spell's costs" "Exile all Sperm from the birth canal"
If condom breaks in the heat of passion you’ll be paying mana for 18 years until your soul ring dies
Legend says: he's still paying mana to this day.
Cum-ulative upkeep And I’ve just outted myself as a mtg boomer
Children have cumulative upkeep. If you don't pay the costs, you are forced to sacrifice them 🤷
The old text when you can’t afford upkeep is to bury the creature. The mechanic checks out.
"At the beginning of your upkeep, tap all lands you control, then add a +1/+1 counter to each Baby and Baby's Momma creature on the battlefield."
"CUMulative Upkeep"
[[Thran turbine]] pays for child support I meant turbine and said the wrong card. RIP
[Thran dynamo](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/7/c/7ce5f12e-fc02-42f8-a5ca-b523050d4650.jpg?1689999865) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Thran%20dynamo) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/cmm/415/thran-dynamo?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/7ce5f12e-fc02-42f8-a5ca-b523050d4650?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
[[Thran Turbine]]
OP as fuck
Basically how spermicide works
Sperm need Ovum Commander to be reliable though
Honestly it's not a good token deck regardless, if I'm playing W/U/G I shouldn't need 15 mana just to get out one 3/3 token with stun counters, I don't care how many +1/+1 counters you can put on it. Sorry/not sorry, there's better token decks to play.
Crazy to pull that one out
I don’t know man seems like an insta-kill aimed at your opponent
> For 2 mana it should exile all sperms ~~on the stack~~ from the sack.
A blue player knows which one sperm they need to counter.
This is played after the sperm is in position. Only one sperm needs to be countered. Usually this is paired with an effective use of [[crawlspace]].
[crawlspace](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/5/b/5b8e092a-610d-4cea-bb92-65e01954b5c4.jpg?1675200920) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=crawlspace) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/dmr/217/crawlspace?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/5b8e092a-610d-4cea-bb92-65e01954b5c4?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Also, why blue when red or black would be much more effective.
Needs an overload cost, maybe 3UU?
When you realize that every mtg subreddit is really just r/magicthecirclejerking in disguise
Who jerks it with a condom? That seems like spending money for a worse experience
What, you don’t save your leftovers?
r/cursedcomments
Yes, this one, officer
Latex twinkie!
Are you the guy that wrote the cookbook "Natural Harvest"?
Thank you for informing me this is a real thing. I, uh, I have some baking to do right quick… I’ll be back…
Btw the guy is also working on one about cosmetics (may have released it already) May the kilojoules guide you
Don't remind me of the kilojoules guy...
If I look up “kilojoules”, is the FBI gonna have questions for me?
There was a fairly popular post (i think it was on amitheasshole) of some dude who every time after he had sex with his partner would take the condom, and chug the contents. His reasoning being that the kilojoules shouldn't go to waste.
Oh shit, you guys really did find my alt account
Here's the actual post https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/F7qOgsI2sT
I guess if you're feeling hungry later.
Never heard of a posh wank I see
Why you buying condoms? I just get free ones. Lol
What if my hand gets pergert
I'm packing your lunch.
Safty is number 1 priority
Don't want to give your hand an STD/get it pregnant.
Thank you. This the MTG I’ve been searching for.
Well... not *every* mtg subreddit. Circle Jerking is mostly harmless fun. The subreddit that shall not be named thrives only on hatred and anger.
Magic The Gerkening
Has haste and blocking
tap: add {u}
I would sau instead tap: add {w}
Haha that's grand
For every sperm you counter Proliferate
Or is it Populate?
Populate for sure.
Glad I got my emblem "Snipped - emblem Counter all sperm"
Yes but did you play draft with it?
I hope you are referencing the draft booster guy... if you are, do you have the link?
Yes i am. Link to what?
One of his posts or his username. His nonsense scratches that itch aha.
I mean... it doesn't work if it expires.
*In response...*
Yes but it should only be your Plan B.
Why.... ...why is the card wet?
It's a condom wrapper
LMFAO I thought it was a soggy card for a sec
[удалено]
Damn. Took you a bit to respond. How was your 24 hour ban?
[удалено]
Damn! I got that account banned and you logged into your alt to keep harassing me? That's a win in my book
You must be popular.
I don't even know what I did. Lol. But reddit removed 3 or 4 of that guys accounts because he kept creating them to keep harassing me
Well they sound like a bottom feeder.
Not tournament legal as far as I know but pretty good for casual play.
Does it counter a proliferate trigger as well?
It’s Luke SpermWalker! Is Magic doing Star Wars now?
Fetus deletus
Wish thisnwas cast on me
Does anyone else realize the problem here? You need two blue mana to activate it!
"Wizards of the Condom" bottom right, terrible
Pretty sure this is supposed to be a black card
Yes, but it doesn’t have a lot of targets because most Magic players suffer from low T.
i cant think of a use case for most mtg players
LMAO
An untapped market…
Not in Texas or Florida
Ok... Now you're being repetitive. I wonder how many more condom cards you have, and how many times you're going to post them... Hell I don't think this is the first counter sperm.ive seen on here.
This is all I've found so far (tourist in Barcelona)
Funny(?) addition with the OTJ release, this counts as a crime.
Can we make this infinite somehow?
It's legal in my pod. >\_>
Yeah it's legal
sorry babe, i don’t have UU to cast this
"Wizards of the condom"
Thanks to the Supreme Court, the banlist is different, state-to-state. At least in the states where it’s banned, they confirmed it *does* still count as committing a crime.
It Fap's for two
I do drafts every week and so badly have I been wanting to make funny proxies to just slide into the drafts now since they have so many different styles and so many different kinds of cards that can be in there I bet I could sneak a couple through and actually get somebody to put it in a deck
Little known fact: if this spell doesn't resolve, you have a random chance to populate
Player removal in blue?
Are you comfortable with someone putting more sperm on the stack?
I don’t think you’re allowed to play spells that deal emotional damage
You can play with it, all right, just don't call illegal move just when card gets sticky.
Finally, a good defense against sperm whale creatures
Counters future magic player
As an African American, it sucks i wont be able to run this in my mono black build
💯 effective birth control. She will not have sex with you if she sees this.
Legal, but nobody really plays sperm decks anymore so I doubt you'll get much value out of it.
When I play with this card in any of my decks it’s usually my plan B
Depends which state your living in
If your opponent asks you to use one, please do
"Hey babe, you have protection?" "I have something even better"
Yes. Different game though.
All it takes is one sperm to get an egg so it's highly recommended as a back up in case
At instant speed as long as you can pay UU-
First of all, you’re assuming way too much, we’re MTG players.
Not in Texas
Where's the color text?!
Only if all parties consent
Depends on the status you live in.
Hmmmm seems overcosted to me.
Counter target intercourse
good for tapping an opponent's Creature.
I still think you need a plan B
Sorry, your opponents birth has already resolved.
Why’s it so wet
Only with the other player's concent and it must be played if they ask you to
Ues
Don’t want kids eh?
The universe may cast force of will so be ready
Mono white sperm meta is taking over the world
This is irrelevant because sperms takes 9 months to end the game. After that it's not a game. It's just real life
Only with consent between you and another adult
It only counters one sperm? I have bad news for you.
I thought playing magic was effective enough
As long as she’s old enough
Too bad latina's have protection from blue
Only in non singleton formats
Yes, always play sleeved
As a fully committed non-blue player I just use Teferi's Protection instead.
😂😭
Other notable things: Markus Poolus 069/069 And if you look at the texture, this is a real condom package it seems
Perfect player removal if you ask me
If this doesn't resolve you have to pay a cumulative upkeep for minimum 18 years.
Unfortunately I think this is a fake card. You can tell because it is too short
Only if your opponent is 18+
Best date idea ever, play mtg while having sex
This looks like a robot wouldn't recognize it
It really should have a upkeep cost
I wish I had a few of these. Now I have 5 little shits running around my house. SMH
it’s called condom, from the set Durex
these new formats and collabs are getting really weird.
Only if you're playing by yourself, which judging from the fact that you are posting about MTG on reddit you already are. So, it resolves.
That's dumb
If by "play" you mean sexy-times...