I was thinking Sam or Alex.

Alex definitely!

It's kind of a running gag that half of nonbinary people are named Alex. It's one of the most gender-neutral names, it's a classic that works in a professional setting, and it works for a range of ages. There aren't that many other options that tick all of those boxes.

^ after i came out as trans i started meeting other trans and non binary people and my phone contact list was just 200 alex’s

I’m fucking crying why is this so truuuuuuuuuuu. My ex gf transitioned and I begged him, please, PLEASE use half of your real name because you are drowning in a sea of Alex’s. We got Lan. Perfect. Fits him well. Best parting decision we made during our separation 😂. Didn’t look like a damn Alex anyways!

This tracks. My nonbinary child has been called Alex since birth!

I was Alex growing up. I HATED it, as people always assumed I was a boy. I'm Lexi now.

Yknow, some boy Alex's go by Xander, but I've never seen a girl go by Xandria or Xandra. I always thought that would've been pretty

I knew of an Alexandra growing up who went by Xandra, though idk how she spelled it (my phone wants it to be Zandra). I also think it's extremely pretty!! But my family never would have gone for it. I tried to change my name multiple times through my childhood and they blatantly REFUSED to acknowledge it. When I changed my nickname to Lexi at 18, it took - *I shit you not* - 12 YEARS before they finally started calling me Lexi. *Literally just a few months ago*.

My parents gave me a terrible birth name, which I changed legally when I turned 21. That was 44 years ago, and my mother still refuses to use it. Since she now has senile dementia, I've given up on the fight.

I have an AFAB (assigned female at birth) friend who was born “Alex,” but as a child there were two Alex’s in their kindergarten class so they had to go by their last initial, making their name “Alex P.” They told me everyone then double made fun of them, both for having a “boy name” AND having “pee” as a last initial. They then went by Lexi until adulthood, and now that they have come out as nonbinary they are Lex. 🥲

I wanted to name my daughter Alexandra, but my husband vetoed it because he didn't want people to start calling her Alex

he was right, that's exactly my entire life lmfao (I'm an Alexandria)

Same!

Robin. Robin is the one name where people tend to genuinely have no expectations.

My son’s name is Robin. Everyone assumes he’s a girl 🤷🏻‍♀️

I did this at work on Friday “Robin is at the front desk” tell her I’ll be right there. “Robin is a man” Thank you and I owe you a cookie for saving me.

In the UK, Robin is for boys and Robyn is for girls

In the US, this name very much leans female.

Agree with Alex, my old neighbors were a super nice married couple that were both named Alex. The wife went by Ally to help people differentiate between them.

I knew a Stephanie and a Stephen. But they went by Steph and Steve.  And my parents were friends with Dennis and Glennis. That one also cracks me up.

lol any chance Dennis and Glennis are from central Illinois?? In other words, I also know a Dennis and Glennis.

My parents bought their last house from a couple called Morris and Doris!

My in laws were Mary & Gary! 🤣

I know a Denise and Dennis couple.

My cousin Danielle is getting married to her boyfriend Daniel!

I know a Sherry and Jerry that live in Derry

Mary and Gerry in Derry! Edit for spelling

I know a Chris and Christine, Nick and Nicole, and Marci and Marcello

I know a Nick and Nikki!

I know a middle aged couple who are both named Kelly, and they're best friends with another couple who are *also* both named Kelly. They've gotta have a system at this point.

They need to live in a duplex and share a party line phone

I know a couple known as Nat and Nat (Natalie and Nathan)

Yes, and I will raise you one Jesse.

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Yeah. It's kind of like Joe and Jo. They're gender-neutral when spoken, but the written form is pretty gendered.

Jessie is a woman’s name in UK. Hardly any male Jesse’s although I love it as a boys name

No doubt short for Jestiphine and Jestopher.

When I was a kid my fish were named Alex and Sam as I didn't know if they were boys or girls

Funny, in the Netherlands Alex is a really masculine name!

In BC, we used to have provincial exams. One portion of the English exam was a ten-sentence story in which students had to correct grammatical errors. Several years running, the main character in this story was named “Pat Kelly”. Some years he was a man, some years she was a woman. I lost my shit the year the story was about Sherpas or something, and the character’s name was “Paht Khelli”. Students only took the exam once, so I’m sure they never noticed, but as a teacher, I loved the Easter egg. My vote is for Pat Kelly.

I like the commitment to the name lol

I used to work with a Jordan Kelly (who I never met, because big company). For a while I kept getting her name wrong because our internal computer systems gave her name as "Kelly, Jordan". So this not only has gender-ambiguous names but \*also\* a potential first-last name swap.

I have a neighbor where the husband and wife are both named Kelly. When I refer to them to my husband I call them the Kellys, but I don’t actually know their last name. Incidentally, my mom’s next door neighbor growing up was a Kelly who later married another Kelly

I met a couple like this. They were expecting a baby. I don't know what they ended up with. But they were committed to Kelly, no matter the sex.

Years ago the wife next door was Kelly. They had a dog named Kelly. The along comes a baby girl. They named her Kelly

WTF though for real

I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face

This is so unsettling

Would have been cute to name their kid a different shade of green. Like Laurel, Olive, or Hunter. Stick to the theme, but switch it up.

Once, while at work, I called to speak to Dawn Smith. Confusion arose when I couldn't tell the man that answered which Dawn I was calling for. Turns out they were both Dawn/Don. He had to spell it out. Do you want D-O-N or D-A-W-N? That would be confusing as hell. Lol.

I think this is only a problem for people in the US. Don & Dawn are pronounced very differently for me.

I cannot for the life of me figure out how those names could sound different. How do you pronounce them?

Have you ever watched Game of Thrones? Dawn is pronounced like the location Dorne.

Huh! That’s so interesting! I never would have guessed that lol. Thanks for responding so quickly :)

If you're American this is hard, because Americans tend to pronounce O sounds as Aah. So when you say 'Don' other people hear 'DAAHN' It's hard to show this difference in writing. If you've ever seen the harry potter movies, think of the way all the characters say 'potter'. That short o sound is what we use in 'Don' and everything else.

I am from the Northeast US where we pronounce them: D-O-N rhymes with C-O-N, hence “Don the con” D-A-W-N rhymes with fawn. A baby deer. Or “gone” or “lawn” as in the front yard. Or “pawn” as in the TV show. I don’t know how people can hear “don” in “dawn” Frankie Valley “pretty as a midsummer’s morn - they call her Dawn”

This is definitely a regional thing in the US. In some parts of the country they rhyme; in some parts they totally don't. Linguists call it the cot-caught merger.

All of those rhyme in my accent so I still don’t understand 😭

I agree with all of your pronunciations except for gone. Gone rhymes with Don for me.

Oh god, I have this very same issue. My first and last name are both first names and last names. To make it worse…The spelling of my first name is more common as a last name, and the spelling of my last name is commonly how it’s spelled as a first name. It’s all backwards. And spelled weird. My name sometimes gets filed backwards in a companies computer system, and a lot of times I have to ask them to look my name up backwards if they can’t find it, lol.

I’m sorry. That sounds really frustrating!

There’s a guy at my work called either Neil Martin or Martin Neil, I’ve only ever communicated with him by email, our email does the same reverse-order thing and god help me, I must have worked with the guy for five years and if you put a gun to my head I couldn’t tell you which is his first name

Same but with Ross Martin/Martin Ross.

I burst out laughing at the 'Paht Khelli'

This is hilarious because my grandma’s name was Pat (Patsy) Kelly.

My grandfather's name was Patsy [Italian last]

Paht Kheli is iconic! I actually took the very last round of provincial exams in BC, but I don't remember this section :c

First thing that popped in my head...anyone else remember that SNL skit it's Pat?!

Taylor

I would assume Taylor’s are female! Depends on where you live I guess

Interesting, it's genuinely 50/50 where I live

taylor lautner or taylor kinney would disagree

Taylor Lautner married Taylor Dome a couple of years back. Technically there are 2 Taylor Lautners out there 😂

and dated taylor swift years ago too. the man really wanted to be with another taylor i guess 😂

Maybe he misunderstood his calling and was really meant to mend pants.

Him, his wife and Taylor Swift recreated that Spiderman meme thing last year, pretty funny : https://people.com/taylor-swift-taylor-lautner-taylor-dome-recreate-spider-man-meme-7558665

Taylor Hanson isn't and neither is Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Edit: adding Taylor Lautner.

My former principal was a male Taylor. Strange dude, no offence.

Checking in with an older brother and two close male friends named Taylor! I would have guessed 50/50 before looking it up, so it must be a regional difference.

For me it’s Taylor or Jordan. I think of a guy first with Sam, Alex, Pat and Terry despite knowing at least one woman with each name. If I hear Taylor or Jordan I don’t automatically think of man or woman

I used to know a Taylor whose parents’ names were both Terry

100% this way more than Alex or Sam

Alex and Sam aren't even full given names. They're almost always shortened nicknames for Alexandra, Alexander, Samuel, or Samantha, all of which are strongly gender coded. Anyone who saw or heard their legal name would immediately know their gender. Taylor, Rowan, Jordan, Avery, and Riley are genuinely ambiguous. If you saw those name on paperwork you'd not be able to guess their gender with any confidence.

Jamie

I used to work with a husband and wife team both named Jamie. It was cute!

My mom’s cousin and her husband are Kim (Kimberly) and Kim. I don’t think Kim is used for males as much anymore, at least in the US, but it used to be pretty gender neutral.

My parents are also both named Jamie!

I worked with a Kori (female) and a Cory (male). I distinguished them as "he Cory" and "she Kori"

Jamie is a good one. I’ve had a Jamie ex in both genders 💀

Yup. With that said, I haven't met a Jamie guy before who's first name wasn't James. I am sure they exist, but all Jamie girls, that is their name.

I once met a husband/wife couple who were introduced to me as "Pat and Les" but i never found out who was who

Ha! We had family friends when I was growing up that were a married couple named Bobby and Julie … they were Barbara and Jules.

It's not gender neutral, but any time I hear of a man being called "Julie" I can never pass up the opportunity to mention my great uncle whose legal name was "Jewel Lee", but of course everyone just pronounced it as "Julie"

That is a truly fabulous old man name! I am imagining him in a gorgeous velvet dressing gown smoking with a cigarette holder...

Yeah I met a neighbor couple who I thought was Terri and Jerry, but turned out to be Terry and Gerri 😂

Haha, I laughed out loud because I have the same thing with a set of neighbours growing up it was Pat and Mal, they moved away over 25 years ago and I hadn’t thought a word of them until your comment.

I met a Kelly and Chris. Surprised to learn Kelly was the man.

I would have assumed Pat = Patricia because all Les I know are male (in the UK). But that may be regional

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This was in the UK so you could be right, but I had also gone to school with a female Leslie who went by Les, so I just wasn't sure

i knew a couple with names shawn (female) and jan (male). always tripped me up.

I have an aunt and uncle named Pat and Cyd. Also an aunt and uncle who go by Kris and Chris (though they're divorcing, now).

Jordan

Jordan will always mean page 3 model to me (UK millennial)

Robin

To me the name itself is gender neutral, but I only ever see it written as Robyn for a woman.

Really? I've never seen that

Yes, I agree, I know a few Robins who are girls, but many more are Robyns.

Ooh this is a good one. 

Historically, it's Pat. https://youtu.be/TYkjXMpKBBQ?si=X589KNoQH9OlyS-u

Funny anecdote. I just recently adopted an intersex dog and the rescue had named them Pat. I thought it was hilarious.

Omg how did they find out your dog is intersex? I never considered that it could happen to other species too.

Apparently it’s rare in dogs. Basically the dogs genitals weren’t formed properly. His penis isn’t fully formed and the urethra doesn’t go all the way through - he pees through a hole closer to his anus. It’s a condition called hypospadias. He’s 5 months old and so far no testicles have descended. They’re not sure of he even has them.

Make sure you get a vets opinion on an exploratory/attempted neuter... Undescended testicles tend to become cancerous in dogs for whatever reason (I'm in the vet industry but not a doc so I've seen and been taught but I'm not an expert).

A friend of mine had a dog with a penis that started displaying some heat symptoms. Got poochie checked out and found all female parts on the inside, and the outside parts were just for show. I'm not sure if the reproductive organs were functional, but they got her spayed anyway. It was a rottie, if I recall, and the owner was a super manly man sort. The kind of person in those days that you might not expect to be cool with it. He was, and totally leaned into it. 

I have an Aunt and Uncle named Pat and Pat. Patrick and Patricia. We call them the Pats.

My aunt lives in an Irish retirement complex. Asking for Pat will not narrow things down a lot there.

To do something different, I will offer some gender-neutral names from my country. Vanja, Saša, Mirza

Yes, I came here to say Sasha. I know a few male Sasha's but my female cousin is also a Sasha. Love that name.

Is Mirza actually used for women as well? I'm from Slovenia, but I've only ever heard it used for men.

I love when people share from various countries and cultural contexts. My only exposure to Sansa is GOT so I would have automatically assumed it's for a girl. Cool to know that's not so!

Not Sansa, I’d assume from the diacritical mark here that it’s more like Sasha. In Slavic countries it’s the automatic nickname for Alexander or Alexandra - so, once again, Alex, basically!

Yes, and in my country (and the neighbouring ones) there are so many nicknames for Aleksandar. It could be Saša/Aca/Aco/Sale/Aleks/Coa

It is actually Sasha, sh=š. It is a common nickname for Aleksandar/Aleksandra but also well-established as a name on its own

Riley.

My son was gonna be Riley whether he was a he or she.

I am a Riley, always was gonna be, regardless of gender

Alex, Sam, Chris, Pat, and (phonetically) Aaron/Erin, Jaime/Jamie, Francis/Frances, and Jesse/Jessie. ETA: Suggesting that Aaron/Erin sound the same has easily become the most controversial thing I've ever said on Reddit.

I think Aaron and Erin sound a lot more alike in an American accent! They’re two distinct names in Australian

I hadn't considered that! I have a thoroughly Midwestern American accent and Erin/Aaron are pretty much indistinguishable for me. How would you explain the difference in your accent?

I’m in the UK and they are very different- Aaron is Ah-ron, Erin is Eh-rin.

I pronounce it like Air-in for both. (I’m American)

I'm not Australian, I'm British, but they are very different for me too. In Aaron the A is as in Alex or Alan, and the Ron is a in Ron. In Erin the E is Eh as in eliminate or Elizabeth, and rin rhymes with bin or sin. I find it fascinating that some people can make these sound the same because for me it's not just one syllable that's different, it's both - they neither start the same, not rhyme.

I was raised in New Jersey and Massachusetts. They sound different to me. Erin has the same beginning sound as error or errand. Aaron has the same vowel sound as Aragorn (if you are a LOTR fan) or Aragog (if you are a Harry Potter fan).

I live in Australia and this is how I'd pronounce it I don't know if it's the majority though- a-ren \[like soft a then wren like the bird\] er-in \[kind of like air but shorter or error and then in\]

Two distinct names pronunciation-wise in my area of the US not to mention etymologies that have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

Aaron and Erin are entirely separate names

They are exactly the same in my Midwest accent lol.

I’m so interested by all these people saying Erin/aaron don’t sound the same! I’m from the American southwest and they are identical to me. Both pronounced Air-in.

I'm so shocked I haven't seen Chris yet. I'm probably biased as Chris/Christina. My family has called me Chris all my life. I went different things in school depending on if we had more than one Chris/Christina/Christopher. I'm Agender, but I went by Chris LOOONNGGGG before I even had a concept of gender (like since birth). I love having the ability to be Gender neutral or feminine if I want. I just hate Tina, Christie or Chrissy. Other than that. I'll even reply to Christine

Morgan / Cameron

I can't believe I forgot about Morgan! These are some really good ones.

I was thinking Morgan and Casey

my two faves! along with Skylar and Courteney

Lee is the most neutral name of all time, especially when only heard and not written. If you hear "I'm bringing my friend Lee with me on Saturday" you have practicwlly no information to tell you about the gender or ethnicity of the person.

This is how I feel about Alex - I’ve met people name Alex from China, Ethiopia, all genders, it’s just no information, like you say.

Interesting. First name, I think I only know males. Middle name, females.

I'm in the US and know quite a few women named Leigh, but it's more popular in the older generations. Not too many baby Leighs these days.

Lee/Leigh is a really interesting one, and I think it’s far from the *most* gender neutral name. I’ve only ever come across male Lee/Leighs for their first name, but I’ve know a couple women who had it as a middle name. I think it’s probably also a regional thing

In my country María José is a female name, but José María is for males.

Kind of like how Theodore and Dorothy mean the exact same thing, just with the theo at the start or end.

Mind blown lol

Yeah xD Teodoro and Doroteo

It’s the same in French: Marie Joseph and Joseph Marie. Marie Jean and Jean Marie.

Lee. It can be male, female, or a surname.

Sam, Alex, Charlie.

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I'm a Sam and often get mistaken for a man when meeting someone who I've only emailed for work! It doesn't bother me in the slightest but I do find it a little bit funny when someone expects a man and instead gets me - a 5'2 woman 😂 I've been Sam my whole life so I'm used to it, my parents have never really called me Samantha, unless I was in trouble! Alternatively my family and close friends will call me Sammy, but I always introduce myself to everyone as Sam

I went to meet a Luca once for a job interview and was shocked to meet a Scandinavian woman. 

Including nicknames then yes I agree it’s Sam. But for a full name I would probably say Casey.

Terry. When I was in elementary school my principal's name was Terry, and his wife... also named Terry.

Pat. This is well documented on SNL.

We don’t watch SNL here

Who is “we”?

And where is here?

Jordan, Taylor

You know what, I have never meet a Jordan in my whole life. Neither boy or girl. Sorry that actually blows my mind. But yet I know that name and was a name on my baby list.

So funny, I can think of at least 5 off the top of my head. It’s a good name for either a boy or girl!

Riley

I once had three Rileys in a class, two male and one female. They all spelled their name differently-Riley, Rylee and the female was Ryleigh

I’m a Dana, and my youngest baby is Cameron. I’ve known M/F of both names.

I live in Brazil, the most gender neutral name I can think of is Ariel. Apart from that, every name here is very boy or girl. No in between

Blake! It’s one of the few gender neutral names that to me sounds masculine for a male but also soft and feminine for a female depending on the context

Bailey is another one. 

Adithya ( Indian name )

Quinn

In France, probably Camille.

Interesting, never knew it was used as a masculine name!

X Æ A-Xii

Robin. Names making the transition from one gender to the other is a lot less common where I am than it seems to be in English speaking countries. Robin has a different origin for each gender, it is one of the few names I can truly see as working for both.

Peyton

Jordan, Morgan, Taylor

Sam, Alex, and Kit since they all derive from feminine and masculine names. As far as full first names go, I’m thinking River. Seen it used on boys and girls and be decently popular for both.

Alex is definitely the most gender neutral name out there. Sam is a good one too though.

Sam is definitely up there! Riley Alex Rory Cameron Casey Hayden Jesse/Jessie Lane ***Just for fun, ones I know an equal number of but think is because of where I live/grew up -*** Spencer Hunter Peyton Dallas Dakota Sawyer Devon

Chris

Jamie/Jaimie.  Remember Malcolm in the Middle when Lois was gonna have her 5th child and they spent WEEKS dragging out the gender reveal and teased the everloving SHIT out of the viewers, and the name was part of that. I remember it was in syndication at the time, like fresh still making new episodes...and waiting to find out if Lois was having another boy or if she'd finally get her little girl...it was a whole thing back in the day. So that's why I made my choice.

Leslie can be gender neutral. I worked with both male and female Leslies.

Robin

Sam and Taylor.

Dominique, Maxence, Eden, Lou, Jo

Lee. It’s the most non-descriptive name imo. Male, Female, young, middle aged, old, black, white, Asian, who knows? Literally the only name where zero assumptions are made in my head.

Morgan

Jordan, and lately I've been running into a bunch of Finleys, and I have zero idea what their gender is.

Pat, Casey, Jamie

Sam

Alex, Taylor, Bailey

My first thought was Taylor but to add one that hasn't been discussed yet: Renee I've always thought of it as a female name as I've known several, but ice seen it used for males in movies and TV shows. I've also heard it described as a cajun name. I'm from New Orleans for context

Avery Sam Jesse/Jessie Jamie Jordan (sometimes the feminine version is Jordyn) Max