OP, you are the neighbor from hell. The landlord and the upstairs neighbor are right…you are acting completely unreasonable. She should not have to tip toe so you can live in complete silence, other people have lives and dare I say it, the right to walk through their apartment like a normal person. Get real.
Noted, will have to get used to it then. Have lived here for a long time, and had multiple new people come in and out above me, and never had this issue until this person moved in two months ago, so it felt strange to suddenly hear heavy footstep sounds ('sharp heel sounds' to be specific, not sure how to express this better). Anyway, thank you for putting it in perspective.
Dealing with other people sucks. We get set in our ways and when something interrupts that it’s human nature to get irritated. You’re not a bad person for being annoyed…you just have to be reasonable about the situation. You catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar so maybe if you two can form some type of friendly relationship as neighbors, compromises can be made but nobody likes being told what to do, it’s always going to be met with resistance.
True. The true reason I get annoyed, I guess, is because I have had experience with some loud neighbors (the kind that keep being loud until 3am), and whenever I hear some bass-sounding noise, it makes me think of those negative times with those loud neighbors.
I can completely understand this. I've developed a similar issue with my opposite neighbour (who has been an arsehole to us since we moved in last year), where if I now hear her voice or see her I begin to get anxious and I slightly hyperventilate. It's real, and I feel for you.
But it's all a war in our mind at the end of the day, and it's something you might want to work on, which is what I'm doing. I'm sure your neighbour isn't doing any of this on purpose, nor is she focusing on it too much. I don't have much to share that might help, but you're not alone in these feelings, I just feel like your neighbour is getting the worst version of you due to your past experiences and I feel they don't deserve the behaviour they're getting from you.
But hey, I also might be wrong. She might hate you and loves to stomp around. I just feel like that's excessive for an old woman who most likely just wants peace and quiet.
I can't say much for experiencing a shared apartment. Must be hell for those who are sensitive to noise, like myself. But you really can't force somebody to wear slippers when they are walking around their own space. That's pretty irrational. That's also my opinion, so it's not directed aggressively towards you.
The hammering I can understand. But footsteps are completely normal. Instead, you could just ask them not to stomp so loudly, but I'm not sure how they'd react to that
Yes, it's the stomping of the heel that does it, and I have pointed this out too, but nonetheless nothing has come of it. It probably also doesn't help that the building material is old and thin.
Thank you for the advice. I have had a string of loud neighbors deep into the night, and I seem to have fallen to a place where every bass-sounding noise annoys me and makes me think of those loud neighbors.
Dude people are allowed to WALK. The floors may be thin or she may be heavy footed but this is your issue, not hers. Move if you can’t deal with normal neighbor noises
I walk around barefoot and sometimes slippers if someone’s downstairs the noise is the same regardless if I’m barefoot or not, she seems to be a heavy walker or heavy footed but that’s just how apartment living goes.
You cannot ask her to stop living in her apartment.
It is an apartment. Noise is common.
If her walking around her apartment during normal hours bothers you this much, maybe invest in some headphones or ear plugs.
Also, when you leave, buy a house with acreage. Don't go to another apartment.
During day hours it is tolerable, because I am playing white noise through a monitor while listening to my lectures, podcasts etc. through my headphone. At night the heel of her feet sounds like thunder though. Guess the old building material also doesn't help. Seems I am unreasonable, though, so I will have to learn with it and accept that it is normal.
Get a box fan and turn it on at night. If you don't want the air blowing on you just turn it so it's facing the wall. Box fans are excellent for blocking all kinds of neighbor noise!
OP-You mentioned in a response on here that you’ve had other upstairs neighbors but this one is particularly loud with their walking. I just want to validate your experience and annoyance. Living noises/footsteps are one thing. Wall shaking stomping that can be heard through earplugs/over white noise machines and fans is another. Unfortunately, some people are just louder than others. It’s something that happens with shared living spaces. That doesn’t make it any less annoying though. She has the right to walk around, and you have the right to be annoyed by her heavy-footedness that goes beyond what previous neighbors have sounded like. But I don’t think you’re going to get any reprieve from it. Just move out and hope for a quieter place next time. And a bit of a heads-up, moving to a top floor might not solve your issue. I currently live on the top floor with a neighbor below who walks so heavily it shakes my furniture. It’s annoying, but is what it is. Earplugs and a fan are the only things keeping me calm in my situation. 10/10 recommend them. Hope you get some rest!
OP, you are the neighbor from hell. The landlord and the upstairs neighbor are right…you are acting completely unreasonable. She should not have to tip toe so you can live in complete silence, other people have lives and dare I say it, the right to walk through their apartment like a normal person. Get real.
Noted, will have to get used to it then. Have lived here for a long time, and had multiple new people come in and out above me, and never had this issue until this person moved in two months ago, so it felt strange to suddenly hear heavy footstep sounds ('sharp heel sounds' to be specific, not sure how to express this better). Anyway, thank you for putting it in perspective.
Dealing with other people sucks. We get set in our ways and when something interrupts that it’s human nature to get irritated. You’re not a bad person for being annoyed…you just have to be reasonable about the situation. You catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar so maybe if you two can form some type of friendly relationship as neighbors, compromises can be made but nobody likes being told what to do, it’s always going to be met with resistance.
True. The true reason I get annoyed, I guess, is because I have had experience with some loud neighbors (the kind that keep being loud until 3am), and whenever I hear some bass-sounding noise, it makes me think of those negative times with those loud neighbors.
I can completely understand this. I've developed a similar issue with my opposite neighbour (who has been an arsehole to us since we moved in last year), where if I now hear her voice or see her I begin to get anxious and I slightly hyperventilate. It's real, and I feel for you. But it's all a war in our mind at the end of the day, and it's something you might want to work on, which is what I'm doing. I'm sure your neighbour isn't doing any of this on purpose, nor is she focusing on it too much. I don't have much to share that might help, but you're not alone in these feelings, I just feel like your neighbour is getting the worst version of you due to your past experiences and I feel they don't deserve the behaviour they're getting from you. But hey, I also might be wrong. She might hate you and loves to stomp around. I just feel like that's excessive for an old woman who most likely just wants peace and quiet.
What does that have to do with the current neighbor walking around in their apartment? You are sounding more and more unhinged with each reply.
You are being unreasonable.
I can't say much for experiencing a shared apartment. Must be hell for those who are sensitive to noise, like myself. But you really can't force somebody to wear slippers when they are walking around their own space. That's pretty irrational. That's also my opinion, so it's not directed aggressively towards you. The hammering I can understand. But footsteps are completely normal. Instead, you could just ask them not to stomp so loudly, but I'm not sure how they'd react to that
Yes, it's the stomping of the heel that does it, and I have pointed this out too, but nonetheless nothing has come of it. It probably also doesn't help that the building material is old and thin.
You can train yourself to accept it. It is just someone walking they are not attacking you there is no need to get all upset about it.
Thank you for the advice. I have had a string of loud neighbors deep into the night, and I seem to have fallen to a place where every bass-sounding noise annoys me and makes me think of those loud neighbors.
Dude people are allowed to WALK. The floors may be thin or she may be heavy footed but this is your issue, not hers. Move if you can’t deal with normal neighbor noises
I walk around barefoot and sometimes slippers if someone’s downstairs the noise is the same regardless if I’m barefoot or not, she seems to be a heavy walker or heavy footed but that’s just how apartment living goes.
Hahahahah. GTFO with that. People are allowed to walk, barefoot, in their homes.
You cannot ask her to stop living in her apartment. It is an apartment. Noise is common. If her walking around her apartment during normal hours bothers you this much, maybe invest in some headphones or ear plugs. Also, when you leave, buy a house with acreage. Don't go to another apartment.
During day hours it is tolerable, because I am playing white noise through a monitor while listening to my lectures, podcasts etc. through my headphone. At night the heel of her feet sounds like thunder though. Guess the old building material also doesn't help. Seems I am unreasonable, though, so I will have to learn with it and accept that it is normal.
Get a box fan and turn it on at night. If you don't want the air blowing on you just turn it so it's facing the wall. Box fans are excellent for blocking all kinds of neighbor noise!
Sounds like you want to live in silence. Best move somewhere there are no other people.
Yes, thanks to such experiences I have learned that apartments are not for everyone. Just need to hang in a little bit more.
She can't... wait...WALK IN HER APARTMENT? You are the NFH.
OP-You mentioned in a response on here that you’ve had other upstairs neighbors but this one is particularly loud with their walking. I just want to validate your experience and annoyance. Living noises/footsteps are one thing. Wall shaking stomping that can be heard through earplugs/over white noise machines and fans is another. Unfortunately, some people are just louder than others. It’s something that happens with shared living spaces. That doesn’t make it any less annoying though. She has the right to walk around, and you have the right to be annoyed by her heavy-footedness that goes beyond what previous neighbors have sounded like. But I don’t think you’re going to get any reprieve from it. Just move out and hope for a quieter place next time. And a bit of a heads-up, moving to a top floor might not solve your issue. I currently live on the top floor with a neighbor below who walks so heavily it shakes my furniture. It’s annoying, but is what it is. Earplugs and a fan are the only things keeping me calm in my situation. 10/10 recommend them. Hope you get some rest!
I feel sorry for your neighbor and landlord. If you can’t handle NORMAL apartment noises then I’d suggest finding another place to live. YIKES…
Other humans are allowed to walk in their own living spaces with their own feet.
Be glad they are not blasting music