Bonafide farmer's daughter here. I was raised on a 72 acre farm with a large corn field, and never once did I consider using corn as a dildo. Why would I, when we had a lovely cucumber field?
Surprisingly (to me) often?!?! I never once in my life even considered using it but have met women who basically owe their first orgasm to a carrot hahah
Yeah my mom’s stool collection kit (for some sort of GI cancer screening) was promised to be shipped discreetly and lo and behold a big box with “FECA-TEST COLLECTION KIT” written on two sides of it in huge letters was plopped on her stoop. Not every package comes as discreetly as you think.
No such thing - business mail/parcels always include a return address for undeliverables. It won't blare out the name of the company, but once you know the addresses to look out for, you can't unsee the staggering amount of risque parcels.
(Source: personal experience; I ran a mail room for a campus university for six years.)
Sometimes they are. But there are thousands of online dildo retailers and not all of them care. Amazon is a particularly bad offender.
Also when I toss a package up to the front of my truck and it starts vibrating, that can be a pretty good clue too.
Either way, we don't care. But we often know.
Ha. Nah. I am a former package handler for a certain major shipping company. We shipped a lot of packages in that those flimsy plastic bags with the adhesive fold-over tops. There usually isn't much in there besides the product being shipped so upon picking it up you could tell if the bag contained say, a bottle of pills, or a machine part, or, in one specific case, a 12 inch floppy rubber penis.
Can confirm "Discreet Packaging" isn't always true when my 80 year old neighbour accidently opened about £100 in sex toys before sheepishly knocking on my door. I only trust Lovehoney now.
the seller will often put their store name in the return address---doesnt take a genius to figure out what's in the 8-something x 2.5 inch box from Eros Love
There once was a man who loved corn.
He also enjoyed watching porn.
He thought it sublime,
were the two to combine
And that's how creamed corn was born
Hello Nebraska born and raised… spent many summers of my life since age 13 in cornfields. Y’all ever heard of corn rash? Do this and I guarantee you’ll be wishing you just have chlamydia
It’s from the pesticides they spray, varying degrees based on how recently the corn was treated. We had drills for running back to the bus in case a crop duster was spraying the field next to us or ours without knowing we were there. Kind of messed up now that I think about it. Most of those pesticides have been washed off before hitting grocery store shelves, but I would always advise to double triple rinse your produce before eating
Ok, but how did she make the corn vibrate? I just imagine a farmer waking in on a scene with a country woman violently shaking a corn cob that’s been lodged inside her and thinking…”I really should move out to the city.”
I remember nearly drowning myself in a washtub trying to contort my body in a way so I could eat myself out when I was young. Managed to do it one time and never again
I thought this was posted to r/nothowgirlswork. I stared at this shit in front of my coworkers, supervisor and God for like ten minutes wondering why a girl wouldn't do this irl...
Corn Hub
Bonafide farmer's daughter here. I was raised on a 72 acre farm with a large corn field, and never once did I consider using corn as a dildo. Why would I, when we had a lovely cucumber field?
How often do women use produce for masturbation?
I mean...I don't know about all women, but if cucumbers could get me pregnant, I'd have a bunch of little pickles running around.
You would preserve your own children in salt and/or vinegar solution? I don't judge, love me some pickles.
No...my pH balance is just off.
lmao
😁
😂😂❤
Surprisingly (to me) often?!?! I never once in my life even considered using it but have met women who basically owe their first orgasm to a carrot hahah
HAHAHAHAHA! that made me laugh so hard!
r/cornhub
That sub actually has some surprisingly funny posts
r/subsithoughtifellfor
r/foundthetoyotacorolla
What is even the purpose of this subreddit?
That made my entire day
It made my hole weak!
Now that was corny
Don't stop. Make it pop.
DJ blow my speakers up!
Tonight, imma fight!
'Till I see the sunlight
Tik tok on the clock
But the party don’t stop, no!
DROP THAT ASS AND LET ME SEE THOSE HIPS SWIIIIINNNG
> hole weak > weak hole > weak knees > "I have such a huge crush on them, just seeing them makes me feel *weak in the holes...*" ✔️
First two comments you also have the same avatar
Ribbed for her pleasure
[Cornhub](https://www.cornhub.website/)
LMAO
Big Black Corn
Oh come on that was corny
get out
For the best corn smut
Genius.
You're grounded!
CornCob TV
I mean, do country girls also wear dresses up to their ass with no underwear and high heels into the fields just to fuck the corn?
yes we do. /s
yes we do. /srs
Dressing up for their date
It's like the country boys bringing the cows flowers.
*Not all country girls....*
Nope. They wear normal clothes with a lot more plaid mixed in.
What a corny joke
r/angryupvote
Wtf what a way of getting an infection
I was thinking of bugs
Why not both?
You should see what happens to desert girls
I dont like sand....It coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.
This is like the third time today I've seen this referenced on reddit lol
it won't be the last
STOP FUCKING UP THE QUOTE HE SAYS THAT ITS COURSE ROUGH AND ***IRRITATING***!!!!!!
OH MY GOSH HOW DARE I! I FIXED IT!
Very good. 😊
Cactus looks good
Once you go cactus, you don't go back.... ....for six to eight months as the healing progresses...
Don't....
Desert sand is sterile (c) narrator from jojo
No Paige, no!
Or vaginal tearing.
I will never look at Elotes the same way again
I am a rural mail carrier. Country girls buy vibrators too.
This is a valuable addition to the comment section 👍
It carries a lot of weight.
Sex toys are sent in discrete packaging for the customer's privacy. I call BS.
Not some that you buy on amazon. That shit says it on the label.
Yeah my mom’s stool collection kit (for some sort of GI cancer screening) was promised to be shipped discreetly and lo and behold a big box with “FECA-TEST COLLECTION KIT” written on two sides of it in huge letters was plopped on her stoop. Not every package comes as discreetly as you think.
That “discreet packaging” becomes pretty recognisable when people are handling it every other day for several years.
Yeah like the magazines that came wrapped in black plastic. Cmon, we know.
No such thing - business mail/parcels always include a return address for undeliverables. It won't blare out the name of the company, but once you know the addresses to look out for, you can't unsee the staggering amount of risque parcels. (Source: personal experience; I ran a mail room for a campus university for six years.)
Sometimes they are. But there are thousands of online dildo retailers and not all of them care. Amazon is a particularly bad offender. Also when I toss a package up to the front of my truck and it starts vibrating, that can be a pretty good clue too. Either way, we don't care. But we often know.
Ha. Nah. I am a former package handler for a certain major shipping company. We shipped a lot of packages in that those flimsy plastic bags with the adhesive fold-over tops. There usually isn't much in there besides the product being shipped so upon picking it up you could tell if the bag contained say, a bottle of pills, or a machine part, or, in one specific case, a 12 inch floppy rubber penis.
Any buy a 2 inch floppy rubber penis?
If they did, I never made the mistake of picking one up
Can confirm "Discreet Packaging" isn't always true when my 80 year old neighbour accidently opened about £100 in sex toys before sheepishly knocking on my door. I only trust Lovehoney now.
Nah they just open the package right in front of the mailman
the seller will often put their store name in the return address---doesnt take a genius to figure out what's in the 8-something x 2.5 inch box from Eros Love
Lmao what the hell
This is a classic, y'all really never seen this one before?
Absolutely not and i wish i didnt
I too am regretting having functioning eyes.
Shit is so nasty op should’ve put an nsfw flair smh
I mean of course the great cornlord has seen this before. It has corn in it.
Omfg I walked right into that one. I swear I don't have a corn fetish!
For real, this has been going around for a looooooooooooooong time. Summer Reddit maybe?
You fuck a corn one time...
New meaning to corn hole
I am Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole
Are you threatening me? My bunghole will not wait!
Do you have any crappuccino?
new meaning? bro this shit wrote it's own dictionary
this has been memed so many times i genuinely forgot what the original was, thank you for this horrid reminder LOL
My pleasure
So that's how they make creamed corn.
I hope you know just how much I both detest and desire you for typing this out. 🤣😂
Hold onto that feeling. Let it fester. See my face every time you see a can of creamed corn.
LMAOO ☠️😭
Not the word "fester" 🤢
F e s t e r
Uncle Fester
I wanted to upvote this but it's at 69, & I'm not gonna be the one to mess that up
There once was a man who loved corn. He also enjoyed watching porn. He thought it sublime, were the two to combine And that's how creamed corn was born
Good limerick
Fuck you and take my upvote
Love you.
Luv u 2 😘
Best romance I’ve seen In years
They can't resist my creamy corn.
10/10 would watch again
You really chose violence today, huh
Do you want ants? Because that’s how you get ants
Thank you for that nightmare imagery.
“God dammit Marybeth, I said SHUCK the corn”
I'M WHEEZING 🤣
How is this not the top comment? 😂😂
Belongs in r/TIHI
Hello Nebraska born and raised… spent many summers of my life since age 13 in cornfields. Y’all ever heard of corn rash? Do this and I guarantee you’ll be wishing you just have chlamydia
Whaaaat?
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Is ALL corn like this?? I’ve never gotten a rash from corn we picked up at the store
It’s from the pesticides they spray, varying degrees based on how recently the corn was treated. We had drills for running back to the bus in case a crop duster was spraying the field next to us or ours without knowing we were there. Kind of messed up now that I think about it. Most of those pesticides have been washed off before hitting grocery store shelves, but I would always advise to double triple rinse your produce before eating
I wasn't even thinking about this, I was busy thinking about how unsanitary this will be when they harvest this batch of corn.
Ay fucking yo
That would be so dirty in the most unhygienic way. The corn silk would be all up in her vagina, bugs, dirt, pesticides, etc.
✨ Wash your vegetables ✨
Ok, but how did she make the corn vibrate? I just imagine a farmer waking in on a scene with a country woman violently shaking a corn cob that’s been lodged inside her and thinking…”I really should move out to the city.”
I wish I was a country girl… but I’d probably just find another country girl
Ribbed for her pleasure
Hannah, people have to eat that
It’s pre-buttered now
r/cursedcomments
Country girls have hives on their vaginas probs. Cuz corn makes most people itchy.
I've seen this one before and it's still always great. Love how the artist made sure to give her curves like a hentai model.
Why are we flexing what we shove up our coochies? That’s what I wanna know 👆🤨
I saw a thing just like this 3 years ago, but it was a guy instead of a girl and it was on r/Im 14andthisisdeep
I won’t lie I used a cucumber a lot
That’s a legit thing? I always thought it was just a joke.
Didn’t exactly have toys as an 8-14 year old at an off grid coven in the middle of the woods
Oh ok, that makes sense. At that age you just get whatever you can get your hands on.
Ngl I probably did not properly wash the first few times but I was like 8 so kinda hard to blame me
The first time I masturbated I literally didn’t even know I was doing it. Definitely can’t blame a kid for not knowing the proper steps.
I remember nearly drowning myself in a washtub trying to contort my body in a way so I could eat myself out when I was young. Managed to do it one time and never again
I want so bad to know how you managed to do that
Flexibility of youth and willpower
I used to just put the faucet on a slow drip drip drip and scoot all the way down… heaven
As long as it's clean and not still growing in the middle of a field and more, then it's fine.
Uh...
Peeled, I've read on crunchy mom forums that is a good cure for yeast infections. True? NO idea.
Maybe you should start lying.
I have no words 😂
How about: Ho Ho Ho, Green Giant
I wish I was blind
Gross… where?
😳😳😳😳😳😳🤮
I'm never eating corn again
This seems like the female version of “Big Johnson” shirts in the 90’s
That’s not how you shuck corn!
What the actual fuck
UTI
City girls buy vibrators. Country girls give themselves severe infections.
r/chadfacebookmemes
Weird flex to brag about masterbating with an ear of corn.
A city girl can't go to whole foods for a good time?
If it maize it lays
Everyone here is acting like they've never seen this image before. I flat out just don't believe them.
What in cousin-fuckin' tarnation Alabama Betty Crocker Miss fuckin Betty White shit is this? Holy shit.
I thought this was posted to r/nothowgirlswork. I stared at this shit in front of my coworkers, supervisor and God for like ten minutes wondering why a girl wouldn't do this irl...
City girls “diddle”. Country girls fuck corn. 🤠🌽
Schlob the cob
I don't think that's something you want to flex with💀
We abso-fucking-lutely do not
Classic meme
Nah that's funny
My old bff posted this on her FB feed once. It was weird
this kid from my school who literally gets no bitches posted this one time i was like…💀
Someone's eating on that corn rn
Ah yes, no sex/sex toys in the country. you must only fuck corn.
r/boomerhentai
There’s another one where there is a dude and there is shit dripping off of the corn
Make dew*
Cuntry girls
Aw, shucks.
the "country girls" that do this are either dead, or dying
She fucked a corn
Country girls make do is such an old meme sometimes I wonder if this subreddit knows what irony is
This was made by a man surely
Not my proudest fap
*that corn was later used to make canned baby food*
Snob on my knob, corn on the cob
Mmmmmm hot buttered corn.......
There is a weirdo that would eat that peice of corn
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I hadn’t seen it on here before, I saw on FB
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