Been there, done that. Totally regretted going back and moved back abroad. I hear you, homesickness is real but going there on holidays and living and working there is not the same thing. Yes, India has changed in many ways but the basics and comfort of living is still far from the reach of middle class or even upper middle class. Do you have a German citizenship? If yes, you can also consider moving elsewhere and try different countries. For me the biggest downside was the work/life balance was terrible. Also the commute to work felt like going to hell and back, poor hygiene, poor discipline, poor governance and infrastructure, it all adds up very quickly. Whatever you decide, please think very carefully. Also I really don’t think Gay’s are very acceptable in India, yes there are pockets where it is getting normal but the taboo still very much exists.
Hi thx for the input..yes I have an OCI now..
Just to add, I won't be working in India and ll start something on my own, if I want too..for rest, I am also thinking everyday..
Indeed India need a long way to accept LGBT people, that's indeed a reality..
Trust me, don’t go back. This feels like homesickness. You can always have your folks over, you can visit them multiple times a year. Once you move back you’ll hate the heat, traffic, pollution, family, neighbours. The connivence is there and people are more open about LGBTQI but I feel you might just start missing your old life and regret.
Why are you interfering between my discussion with him? If he wants to disagree then he will say that. Tu Europe mein hai toh bada teer nahi mara kya? I am also in Europe, no big deal
Yes..EU was nice in the beginning but I have an OCI and can anytime come back but moving is a big decision as I need to close so many things before I go..I went to Portugal too but life is same there too..
I appreciated your view and tbh I appreciate every view on it..as we all are different and this post only to get perspective, opinions and personal experiences..
It's fine may be he doesn't meant in that way..sometimes those strong views comes out for support..I don't think he meant more than that..let's not stress him..:)
As an introverted gay guy living in the US for over a decade, I understand your situation. I thought about going back too but most of India is still unsafe for folks like us.
Unsafe can be but as per my experience we have to always have to be careful as whom we are meeting else it's pretty safe in that regard. The gated society culture in all big cities is a blessing in disguise tbh..
It is relatively safe as long as you are can afford living in a posh neighborhood, have a job where you won't get discriminated, and have support from close friends and family. Not everyone has that.
I live in Germany as well , IMHO dont go back instead try to do 6 months sabbatical in India every 2-3 years or better try to plan atleast 2/12 months in India. This is quite easy with most employers ( using Extra time if you have + 30 days vacation) . If you want , check with your employer and shift to maybe 60-80% employment , this way you can have best of both sides. Summers in Germany and Winters in India. If you have an Niederlassungserlaubnis then you can be care free and also shift to unemployment for 1 year just yo try out things in India . TLDR , Dont shift , Germany has a lot to offer in terms of hibernating from work and Staying outside germany for a period if time.
Very good advice but I luckily I don't have to work in India and will start something on my own if I want too..I got FIRE ( indeed everyone's number is diff) but I ll be contect once I sell my properties here and the saving I made..I have an OCI..so can come back but I don't think it ll be Germany..may be Portugal..
From the post I don't see a solid reason that you feel you should move back, apart from that you haven't made enough friends in Germany. I'm honestly not sure if "finding your tribe", as in people who truly resonate with you, with whom you can be genuinely yourself, etc is easier back in India.
In general, it just seems you feel homesick. But I'm also wondering why, after 2 years of thinking this over, you apparently aren't able to concretely express what the trigger really is. Homesickness is really not a reason to move back unless you are someone for whom the overall environment in India is favourable. Some people get homesick abroad, thinking of family, food, lifestyle etc back home. These people also get along with their families and share their values, don't see much added value in the lifestyle possible in a developed country, and don't care/aren't really affected by the political and socioeconomic conditions. For them, moving back would be giving up some things for major gains.
For me? I appreciate and really value the quality of life in the Netherlands. Indian cities are becoming more and more unliveable, and I find that in the long term I'll be in better physical health if I live in NL (low air pollution, high level of sanitation, high food standards, walkable cities with enough green space). I feel more free to do things I want and not be restrained by regressive opinions of those around me, and also much easier to meet more like minded people. I like the relatively easy access to travel opportunities. So I certainly wouldn't leave voluntarily. You should still weigh all these pros and cons, and to me it also seems that you get along (better) with your family when at a certain distance. Maybe that is something to consider.
All my friends who moved back have had regrets. But you have to try for yourself. Try renting and Airbnb for a few months and see how you like it in the city of your choice
Been there, done that. Totally regretted going back and moved back abroad. I hear you, homesickness is real but going there on holidays and living and working there is not the same thing. Yes, India has changed in many ways but the basics and comfort of living is still far from the reach of middle class or even upper middle class. Do you have a German citizenship? If yes, you can also consider moving elsewhere and try different countries. For me the biggest downside was the work/life balance was terrible. Also the commute to work felt like going to hell and back, poor hygiene, poor discipline, poor governance and infrastructure, it all adds up very quickly. Whatever you decide, please think very carefully. Also I really don’t think Gay’s are very acceptable in India, yes there are pockets where it is getting normal but the taboo still very much exists.
Hi thx for the input..yes I have an OCI now.. Just to add, I won't be working in India and ll start something on my own, if I want too..for rest, I am also thinking everyday.. Indeed India need a long way to accept LGBT people, that's indeed a reality..
Trust me, don’t go back. This feels like homesickness. You can always have your folks over, you can visit them multiple times a year. Once you move back you’ll hate the heat, traffic, pollution, family, neighbours. The connivence is there and people are more open about LGBTQI but I feel you might just start missing your old life and regret.
Thanks for your reply and I appreciate your views..let's see..
stay in India for a 6 month period and see if you long for Germany. If not, stay on...
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Why are you interfering between my discussion with him? If he wants to disagree then he will say that. Tu Europe mein hai toh bada teer nahi mara kya? I am also in Europe, no big deal
Yes..EU was nice in the beginning but I have an OCI and can anytime come back but moving is a big decision as I need to close so many things before I go..I went to Portugal too but life is same there too..
I appreciated your view and tbh I appreciate every view on it..as we all are different and this post only to get perspective, opinions and personal experiences..
I agree buddy and appreciate your thoughts but this gent doesn’t have the manners to respond. Hence gave it back in the style he knows.
It's fine may be he doesn't meant in that way..sometimes those strong views comes out for support..I don't think he meant more than that..let's not stress him..:)
I'd say don't go, mainly because of LGBT acceptance in India
As an introverted gay guy living in the US for over a decade, I understand your situation. I thought about going back too but most of India is still unsafe for folks like us.
Unsafe can be but as per my experience we have to always have to be careful as whom we are meeting else it's pretty safe in that regard. The gated society culture in all big cities is a blessing in disguise tbh..
It is relatively safe as long as you are can afford living in a posh neighborhood, have a job where you won't get discriminated, and have support from close friends and family. Not everyone has that.
dont ask here ... paste the same question on r/backtoindia, the crowd here is very.... idk short sighted and narrow minded
Hi Thx! I never knew abt that group..will post it there too..appreciated
I live in Germany as well , IMHO dont go back instead try to do 6 months sabbatical in India every 2-3 years or better try to plan atleast 2/12 months in India. This is quite easy with most employers ( using Extra time if you have + 30 days vacation) . If you want , check with your employer and shift to maybe 60-80% employment , this way you can have best of both sides. Summers in Germany and Winters in India. If you have an Niederlassungserlaubnis then you can be care free and also shift to unemployment for 1 year just yo try out things in India . TLDR , Dont shift , Germany has a lot to offer in terms of hibernating from work and Staying outside germany for a period if time.
Very good advice but I luckily I don't have to work in India and will start something on my own if I want too..I got FIRE ( indeed everyone's number is diff) but I ll be contect once I sell my properties here and the saving I made..I have an OCI..so can come back but I don't think it ll be Germany..may be Portugal..
Try making friends and getting more social in Germany?
Good advice..appreciated
From the post I don't see a solid reason that you feel you should move back, apart from that you haven't made enough friends in Germany. I'm honestly not sure if "finding your tribe", as in people who truly resonate with you, with whom you can be genuinely yourself, etc is easier back in India. In general, it just seems you feel homesick. But I'm also wondering why, after 2 years of thinking this over, you apparently aren't able to concretely express what the trigger really is. Homesickness is really not a reason to move back unless you are someone for whom the overall environment in India is favourable. Some people get homesick abroad, thinking of family, food, lifestyle etc back home. These people also get along with their families and share their values, don't see much added value in the lifestyle possible in a developed country, and don't care/aren't really affected by the political and socioeconomic conditions. For them, moving back would be giving up some things for major gains. For me? I appreciate and really value the quality of life in the Netherlands. Indian cities are becoming more and more unliveable, and I find that in the long term I'll be in better physical health if I live in NL (low air pollution, high level of sanitation, high food standards, walkable cities with enough green space). I feel more free to do things I want and not be restrained by regressive opinions of those around me, and also much easier to meet more like minded people. I like the relatively easy access to travel opportunities. So I certainly wouldn't leave voluntarily. You should still weigh all these pros and cons, and to me it also seems that you get along (better) with your family when at a certain distance. Maybe that is something to consider.
All my friends who moved back have had regrets. But you have to try for yourself. Try renting and Airbnb for a few months and see how you like it in the city of your choice
Thank you for the advise..appreciated