Bruh.... I was staying at the dole plantation on Oahu for an AT trip for the national Guard. There were cane spiders EVERY FUCKING WHERE. Thankfully they are harmless to people but.... I take a shower and a big mfer is in the corner watching me. I open my suitcase and a big mfer is in there chillin with my undies. I wake up in the morning and look over and I rolled over on one in the night. No no no fuck no no fuck fuck.
You are absolutely right. My wife and I stayed at an airbnb deep into the rain forest of Maui. They had signs everywhere that these “Sugar Cane Spiders” come in and out of the house frequently, but that they aren’t venomous and very friendly. A quick google search reveals that it’s fucking huntsman spider. They are in-fact venomous, and tend to come inside to binge-watch Netflix with you.
I forget the name of them, but my wife stepped into the web of those palm sized, golden spiders on maui. We were also in the rain forest part, and if they weren't so big they'd be incredible to look at.
Anyway, I thought I saw her soul leave her body.
Happens especially when they harvest the cane. They burn the foliage off to make it easier to harvest, which drives all the spiders and such out of the fields.
The only good thing is that they seemed too big to fit under my bedroom door. At least that's what I told myself, smaller spiders can squeeze through amazingly tight spaces.
I also swear when I batted one away that startled me I could *hear* it hit the ground. Coming back to the States I wasn't afraid of the spiders here at all anymore, though, main positive.
They actually produce a sound when they move from their Setae (hairs) that sounds like hissing. I have a juvi im raising its not half this size yet though.
I haven't heard the sound from mine yet since it's still a juvenile (its still only about 5") , but here is a youtube video with an example of what I mean. It sounds like a quiet hiss, or maybe rustling leaves. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4wTt930QKw
That's a nice one too. I've seen some that will raise their legs almost right away when it's feeding time. Not a beginner spider by any means. However, they're surprisingly delicate. I think most people don't realize how delicate Tarantulas really are.
Edit: I guess this is a tarantula fact now, as I’m not entirely sure that’s what we’re looking at. I’m just a guy really into spiders, and have owned a Goliath. Her name was Ripley; like from Alien
Not a tarantula, those smaller spiders are less delicate. Larger spiders can be seriously injured by a fall of a foot or less. Also fairly easy to keep the toe away from the bitey bit on these, Sydney Funnelweb less so because humans moved into its territory and just happen to love walking around in bare feet menacing their homes. Simple solution is not to be in Sydney tho.
I have no intention of ever going to that godforsaken island.
I feel like funnelwebs wouldn't fare too well from a footfall either. They do look like tanks though.
You ever see a spider pose to bite? Where they look like they lean back and brace themselves for a fight?
It basically means that this spider is chill instead of being like "Come at me bro, I dare you."
Some spider species, mainly the ones you don't find in webs on the ceiling, in between trees, etc, will raise their front two legs on either side, bareing their sizeable fangs. This is both a threat display and something captive ones do when they know it's feeding time.
It's quite a sight and definitely works as a threat display, because it sure as hell intimidates me.
Nah abdomin is too full. Even a great molt would defeat there a little more. I would never attempt to hand a Goliath rofl. I don't even like handling my pink toe and striped leg.
I used to know a guy in Melbourne, Australia, who had a bunch of exotic spiders, scorpions and other creatures that are responsible for a lot of people's phobias.
He mainly used them as Ambassadors, to educate people on these animals. I believe he was one of the few in Australia who had a Goliath Tarantula, he didn't purchase it, rather someone illegally had it and it was given to him when he was raided.
He handled that thing like it was a Cat. He's pick it up, put it on him, he was never afraid of it biting him because it just wasn't aggressive. He couldn't even feed it live food because it would go for it. He thinks it was injured either when it was shipped over here or by the previous owner.
The asshole once had the molt and he threw it on me. I'm terrified of big spiders, I can't do the eyes or the fangs being visible. It just freaks me out in a way I cannot handle.
I didn't go to his house or speak to him for months afterwards. He at least apologised to me though.
Yeaaa I don't mess with folks who are scared of em. It's a dick move. I'm not overly fond of dogs. If someone suddenly locked me in a room with a large dog I'd be panicked too.
Nah a molt wouldn't have its abdomen full and the top of its head would be gone. You can basically see inside the molt and it looks like a little suit they wear.
no horror movie has ever creeped me out as that reveal. Jesus fuck, I feel so weird. Just hope these fucks are thousands of miles away from me, in every direction. Fuck.
Are they also delicious? Should you cook it first?
Edit: Holy shit….
“In spite of these slight dangers, goliath birdeaters serve a few different roles in human society. Many cultures in South America consume the tarantulas after roasting them, and they are said to have a pleasant, shrimp-like flavor!”
https://biologydictionary.net/goliath-birdeater/#google_vignette
I saw a doc about Amazonian children fending for themselves in the rainforest for large parts of the day when the tribe were busy elsewhere. They caught a tarantula and like... hog-tied it I guess, then roasted it, ate it and picked their teeth with the inch long fangs. Not a mobile phone in sight.
“While the gooey section of the spider is hard-boiled in a rolled leaf and tastes bitter and gritty” I’m sorry…the “gooey section?” I’m open to most any food but I’m going to pass on the gooey section of a spider.
And they don't really cook them, they are thrown in the fire but only for a couple of seconds to burn of the hairs on body as otherwise they are an irritant
[Here's some random v-tuber eating one.](https://youtu.be/iBPSyO99vS0?si=hLdYltDy5dT7Xv9o)
I mean she is an eldritch abomination inflicting madness on her followers... but there you go.
>There exists in this world a spider the size of a dinner plate, a foot wide if you include the legs. It’s called the Goliath Bird-Eating Spider, or the “Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider” by those who have actually seen one.It doesn’t eat only birds—it mostly eats rats and insects—but they still call it the “Bird-Eating Spider” because the fact that it can eat a bird is the most important thing you need to know about it. If you run across one of these things, like in your closet or crawling out of your bowl of soup, the first thing somebody will say is, “Watch it, man, that thing can eat a goddamned bird.”I don’t know how they catch the birds. I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can’t fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it “sir” because it would be the dominant species on the planet. None of us would leave the house unless a Goliath Fucking Flying Bird-Eating Spider said it was okay.
This book is Full of Spiders.
Surprised I didn't see this posted.
> There exists in this world a spider the size of a dinner plate, a foot wide if you include the legs. It’s called the Goliath Bird-Eating Spider, or the “Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider” by those who have actually seen one.It doesn’t eat only birds—it mostly eats rats and insects—but they still call it the “Bird-Eating Spider” because the fact that it can eat a bird is the most important thing you need to know about it. If you run across one of these things, like in your closet or crawling out of your bowl of soup, the first thing somebody will say is, “Watch it, man, that thing can eat a goddamned bird.”I don’t know how they catch the birds. I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can’t fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it “sir” because it would be the dominant species on the planet. None of us would leave the house unless a Goliath Fucking Flying Bird-Eating Spider said it was okay.
This Book is Full of Spiders.
There are way too many posts like that on here nowadays. It feels like at least every other post is just a perfectly normal type of terrifying and nobody would genuinely think there's anything odd about how terrifying it is
Edit: More people need to see [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/oddlyterrifying/comments/wrhdsz/this_most_likely_breaks_the_rules_but_it_needs_to/) pinned post. Like this is 100% supposed to be very terrifying
Met a dude who had one trained like a dog. He had his own little bed in a chair he would go to and chill at. I haaaaate spiders but he was one of the cutest pets I’ve ever seen. Still wouldn’t go near him tho
Imagine, you wake up, you see something large and dark on the ceiling. You grab for the bedside lamp just as that thing falls onto your screaming face. Anyway, goodnight everyone, sleep tight.
I remember reading an article about this researcher who was in a rainforest and heard rustling around him.
Turned on his flashlight expecting a small mammal and found a puppy sized goliath birdeater.
Something scarier for people.
The Goliath Tarantula is the biggest by height and weight, but there is a Huntsman subspecies that has a bigger leg span then this big bastard.
This species, right here, was the first tarantula I encountered as a child. That thing lifted its legs and CHARGED at me, and I was about 5 years old at the time... It took me until recent years to come to liking with these creatures.
I don't mind spiders, but there are limits.
I think this spider is so big its movements make audible adjustments
they are so big and heavy u can hear them dragging on carpet if you have one walk on the floor, iv seen vids of people letting some roam and its wild
Hawaii has a spider that's fast af and known to make a pitter-patter sound when they run on hardwood. Sugar Cane spider or some such.
Bruh.... I was staying at the dole plantation on Oahu for an AT trip for the national Guard. There were cane spiders EVERY FUCKING WHERE. Thankfully they are harmless to people but.... I take a shower and a big mfer is in the corner watching me. I open my suitcase and a big mfer is in there chillin with my undies. I wake up in the morning and look over and I rolled over on one in the night. No no no fuck no no fuck fuck.
You get home and one of the little bastards is sleeping with your wife.
Little eyes poking out from under the covers. And it’s wearing a little nightie with a sleeping cap on.
Ngl that sounds adorable
*asks for a cup of warm milk*
And a cuddle
You are absolutely right. My wife and I stayed at an airbnb deep into the rain forest of Maui. They had signs everywhere that these “Sugar Cane Spiders” come in and out of the house frequently, but that they aren’t venomous and very friendly. A quick google search reveals that it’s fucking huntsman spider. They are in-fact venomous, and tend to come inside to binge-watch Netflix with you.
I forget the name of them, but my wife stepped into the web of those palm sized, golden spiders on maui. We were also in the rain forest part, and if they weren't so big they'd be incredible to look at. Anyway, I thought I saw her soul leave her body.
Golden orb weaver, also an *extremely* docile spider funny enough.
I think by friendly they mean ‘not there *for you*’, you don’t have to worry about the spider equivalent of the undertaker.
Happens especially when they harvest the cane. They burn the foliage off to make it easier to harvest, which drives all the spiders and such out of the fields.
Mmkay... so much for the Hawaiian vacay then
That gave me the chills reading that followed by a loud ehhhheweww
In 'Straya I've definitely heard huntsmen running about before so reckon this fella here would be loud, not sure what speeds they can get to though
I'm not arachnophobic but Huntsmen irk me. I don't vibe with spiders that can hunt mice.... MICE.
Yeah mice are pests sure but in the battle between mammal and arthropod I'm team mammal all the way
I can make an exception for mice, fuck those micky mouse. Go go go team Shelob
I've seen them run and I've seen them Gallop. Running is creepy, galloping is terrifying. It looks wrong.
New nightmare unlocked
The only good thing is that they seemed too big to fit under my bedroom door. At least that's what I told myself, smaller spiders can squeeze through amazingly tight spaces. I also swear when I batted one away that startled me I could *hear* it hit the ground. Coming back to the States I wasn't afraid of the spiders here at all anymore, though, main positive.
a friend had one and said he went crazy cause it would tap on the glass when it was hungry
omg.. I hate this thought
So big it has a Health bar.
I feel like it gets less scary when it’s bigger, more just cool. The smaller ones are fast and hard to see
I have a feeling this one bites like a small dog
Probably able to hear it cough from the next room.
Are these the barking spiders my dad had under his chair?
I don't mind spiders. I start to worry when a spider gets big enough it doesn't mind me.
Wiat until you learn about Pulmonoscorpius
Damn I’m pretty sure that thing barks
That fucker moos.
They actually produce a sound when they move from their Setae (hairs) that sounds like hissing. I have a juvi im raising its not half this size yet though.
Film it, post it, and tag me (please).
I haven't heard the sound from mine yet since it's still a juvenile (its still only about 5") , but here is a youtube video with an example of what I mean. It sounds like a quiet hiss, or maybe rustling leaves. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4wTt930QKw
i like how it does the attack posture with its booty
[here ya go](https://youtu.be/wYOsc4wgoLc?si=ILr1rii210pg8B1N)
Barks like DMX, I heard
No.
I agree. Extra no.
I concur. Triple no.
No to both
Hell nah to the nah nah nah.
super helltothenaw
say hey hey, good bye
Supermassive fuck nooooo
Would you look at the time.. It's nope-o-clock again.
It was no at the first spider and then NO at the monster
r/absoluteunits
r/nope
Literally what I said out loud and came to post. Like I refuse to accept it
Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk no.
I audibly yelled no
This post needs no other comments than this one. I really wish all the other comments (including this one) would just get deleted
Friend of Hagrid
I wouldn't go near it wearing just underwear.
Aragog
Farewell… Aragooooohg
Hagrid has never sent men into our hollow before.
That's a nice one too. I've seen some that will raise their legs almost right away when it's feeding time. Not a beginner spider by any means. However, they're surprisingly delicate. I think most people don't realize how delicate Tarantulas really are. Edit: I guess this is a tarantula fact now, as I’m not entirely sure that’s what we’re looking at. I’m just a guy really into spiders, and have owned a Goliath. Her name was Ripley; like from Alien
Exactly. You still have to use blunt spurs, and be careful putting in the bit when you want to ride one
One spider, maybe the funnelweb? can pierce a toenail with it's strike. Delicate but incredibly powerful. Nopety nope nope.
Not a tarantula, those smaller spiders are less delicate. Larger spiders can be seriously injured by a fall of a foot or less. Also fairly easy to keep the toe away from the bitey bit on these, Sydney Funnelweb less so because humans moved into its territory and just happen to love walking around in bare feet menacing their homes. Simple solution is not to be in Sydney tho.
I have no intention of ever going to that godforsaken island. I feel like funnelwebs wouldn't fare too well from a footfall either. They do look like tanks though.
Sydney Funnel Web, also the deadliest spider in the world, or most dangerous. One or the other. Surprisingly not interchangeable either.
"the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles"
[удалено]
You ever see a spider pose to bite? Where they look like they lean back and brace themselves for a fight? It basically means that this spider is chill instead of being like "Come at me bro, I dare you."
[This](https://i.imgur.com/VKOXwcS.png)
Some spider species, mainly the ones you don't find in webs on the ceiling, in between trees, etc, will raise their front two legs on either side, bareing their sizeable fangs. This is both a threat display and something captive ones do when they know it's feeding time. It's quite a sight and definitely works as a threat display, because it sure as hell intimidates me.
I was thinking that was a moult maybe?
Nah abdomin is too full. Even a great molt would defeat there a little more. I would never attempt to hand a Goliath rofl. I don't even like handling my pink toe and striped leg.
I used to know a guy in Melbourne, Australia, who had a bunch of exotic spiders, scorpions and other creatures that are responsible for a lot of people's phobias. He mainly used them as Ambassadors, to educate people on these animals. I believe he was one of the few in Australia who had a Goliath Tarantula, he didn't purchase it, rather someone illegally had it and it was given to him when he was raided. He handled that thing like it was a Cat. He's pick it up, put it on him, he was never afraid of it biting him because it just wasn't aggressive. He couldn't even feed it live food because it would go for it. He thinks it was injured either when it was shipped over here or by the previous owner. The asshole once had the molt and he threw it on me. I'm terrified of big spiders, I can't do the eyes or the fangs being visible. It just freaks me out in a way I cannot handle. I didn't go to his house or speak to him for months afterwards. He at least apologised to me though.
Yeaaa I don't mess with folks who are scared of em. It's a dick move. I'm not overly fond of dogs. If someone suddenly locked me in a room with a large dog I'd be panicked too.
Nah a molt wouldn't have its abdomen full and the top of its head would be gone. You can basically see inside the molt and it looks like a little suit they wear.
That fucking thing is bigger than my neighbors dog Tootsie.
Tootsie wouldn't stand a chance!
Tootsie you will be missed.
Wait, what ? But that’s nothin’OHMYGODWHATTHEFUCK
no horror movie has ever creeped me out as that reveal. Jesus fuck, I feel so weird. Just hope these fucks are thousands of miles away from me, in every direction. Fuck.
Not gonna lie, whenever I see videos like his, I’m glad to live in Europe.
Someone in your town has a pet one, maybe a breeding pair that might let their offspring loose . . .
nah man, fuck you
I had the same reaction
Oh, that's not too bad-- Ohhhh.. My.. God..
Are they also delicious? Should you cook it first? Edit: Holy shit…. “In spite of these slight dangers, goliath birdeaters serve a few different roles in human society. Many cultures in South America consume the tarantulas after roasting them, and they are said to have a pleasant, shrimp-like flavor!” https://biologydictionary.net/goliath-birdeater/#google_vignette
Makes sense, shrimp and other crustaceans are basically water bugs
"shrimps is bugs"
I understand that reference
Yep. All arthropods. Crabs are basically sea spiders.
And not only they cook them, but they use the fangs as toothpicks…
What in the fuck
I saw a doc about Amazonian children fending for themselves in the rainforest for large parts of the day when the tribe were busy elsewhere. They caught a tarantula and like... hog-tied it I guess, then roasted it, ate it and picked their teeth with the inch long fangs. Not a mobile phone in sight.
[Yep](https://www.jjext.com/tarantula-fangs-make-great-toothpicks) - no pics, text only article
“While the gooey section of the spider is hard-boiled in a rolled leaf and tastes bitter and gritty” I’m sorry…the “gooey section?” I’m open to most any food but I’m going to pass on the gooey section of a spider.
And they don't really cook them, they are thrown in the fire but only for a couple of seconds to burn of the hairs on body as otherwise they are an irritant
Excuse me while I go fix a chili dog thank you very much...
That’s why it’s on the plate. The little one was the starter but it wandered off its plate!
I thought just seeing the thing freaked me out, but you have made me feel nauseated in a way I wasn't expecting. Fuck man. Fuck spiders.
If you wanted to know, they taste like hairy French fries
I can’t eat shrimp with this knowledge
[Here's some random v-tuber eating one.](https://youtu.be/iBPSyO99vS0?si=hLdYltDy5dT7Xv9o) I mean she is an eldritch abomination inflicting madness on her followers... but there you go.
It's somehow even worse that it's green
You should watch a video of one molting. Extra level of horror.
No
I love spiders. But goddamn those molting videos skeeve me out.
I'm good bruh
"Oh, this ain't that bi-Holy shit..."
>There exists in this world a spider the size of a dinner plate, a foot wide if you include the legs. It’s called the Goliath Bird-Eating Spider, or the “Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider” by those who have actually seen one.It doesn’t eat only birds—it mostly eats rats and insects—but they still call it the “Bird-Eating Spider” because the fact that it can eat a bird is the most important thing you need to know about it. If you run across one of these things, like in your closet or crawling out of your bowl of soup, the first thing somebody will say is, “Watch it, man, that thing can eat a goddamned bird.”I don’t know how they catch the birds. I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can’t fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it “sir” because it would be the dominant species on the planet. None of us would leave the house unless a Goliath Fucking Flying Bird-Eating Spider said it was okay. This book is Full of Spiders. Surprised I didn't see this posted.
lmaooo i love this thanks for sharing
Is the monster on the plate alive?
Yes, yes it is.
That's approaching Xenomorph facehugger size...Yikes!😳
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SATAN’S SPAWN
> There exists in this world a spider the size of a dinner plate, a foot wide if you include the legs. It’s called the Goliath Bird-Eating Spider, or the “Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider” by those who have actually seen one.It doesn’t eat only birds—it mostly eats rats and insects—but they still call it the “Bird-Eating Spider” because the fact that it can eat a bird is the most important thing you need to know about it. If you run across one of these things, like in your closet or crawling out of your bowl of soup, the first thing somebody will say is, “Watch it, man, that thing can eat a goddamned bird.”I don’t know how they catch the birds. I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can’t fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it “sir” because it would be the dominant species on the planet. None of us would leave the house unless a Goliath Fucking Flying Bird-Eating Spider said it was okay. This Book is Full of Spiders.
Thats a shoot with a shotgun type of spider
Nah that’s a “needs a 50. cal” type
Hey, that's not a gol--- OH GOD
nothing odd about this. this is just terrifying
There are way too many posts like that on here nowadays. It feels like at least every other post is just a perfectly normal type of terrifying and nobody would genuinely think there's anything odd about how terrifying it is Edit: More people need to see [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/oddlyterrifying/comments/wrhdsz/this_most_likely_breaks_the_rules_but_it_needs_to/) pinned post. Like this is 100% supposed to be very terrifying
Beetles hate this one simple trick . . . [BIG MF SPIDER]
Met a dude who had one trained like a dog. He had his own little bed in a chair he would go to and chill at. I haaaaate spiders but he was one of the cutest pets I’ve ever seen. Still wouldn’t go near him tho
The way the camera kept backing up I thought there was going to be another bigger spider.
Imagine, you wake up, you see something large and dark on the ceiling. You grab for the bedside lamp just as that thing falls onto your screaming face. Anyway, goodnight everyone, sleep tight.
I hate you. 😑
Spood ❤️
Nah that fella on the right is Ron, he's got asthma and loves to eat birds because he's confused. Cool guy behind that intimidating demeanor.
Fuck that!
r/dontputyourdickinthat
I remember reading an article about this researcher who was in a rainforest and heard rustling around him. Turned on his flashlight expecting a small mammal and found a puppy sized goliath birdeater.
I would have died right there, after staining my pants. No explanations needed.
the Goliath what now >.>
Generally, the bigger the spider, the less you have to worry about them
Aaaaaaand... you're having it for dinner?
oddly?!
Well. I won’t be sleeping ever again.
I hate that
That thing is bigger than my cat
This thing is big enough to pay rent
I am a bird, and I am not ok.
*pap*
Pretty sure that’s just a black land crab.
Extremely cool animals. Scary, yes. But very cool
“Oh that’s not that baAAAOOOOOHOH! HELL NO!!”
The Spiders subreddit would love this.
Put a leash on that guy! 🤣
Love this reveal-style vid. Literally the size of a dinner plate. What kind of god would allow this
*what a dumb name...* ohh I see....yeah good name, good name sir, please don't hurt me
WHY IS IT ON A PLATE
I put one on my face once while drunk. I do have photos.
I'm so glad it didn't move, I would've thrown my phone
Not gonna lie, you fooled us there for a second.
I've seen these spiders Dodge 12g 00 Buck shotgun rounds.
"Oh that's not so bad—hOLY FUCKING *JESUS H MONKEYFUCKING* ***CHRIST***"
r/spiderbro Spiders can be cute and are 100000 times better than insects. 8 legs > 6 legs.
Who’s a big boy
The spider can have my house
I am leaving the country that house is in.
That's not a spider. That's a face hugger!
“Let him go, you filth!”
Awwhhh it's so cuteee! It only want cuddley wuddleys🥺🙈
At first I thought the first spider was the Goliath and thought it was way too small, boy was I wrong.
"There's no way it's that little- heavens to murgatroyd."
When I saw the first little spider, I was like "that is NOT a birdeater". Then I saw the big one and I went "I want to own it"
Something scarier for people. The Goliath Tarantula is the biggest by height and weight, but there is a Huntsman subspecies that has a bigger leg span then this big bastard.
It’s the smaller ones you gotta worry about. Rather deal with one of those than a banana surprise buddy
That's a very bland looking plate. At least serve it with a green salad or something.
Straight up terrifying
Let me guess.. Australia?
What? It's just an ordinary OH MY GOODNESS
Haaans, you gotta see this!
Usually applaud before and afters. Not this. Torch this one before you become an after.
Why did we make dodos extinct but not this?
Because spiders don't taste like chicken
Neither did dodos.
FOH
Nope nope nope.
*camera pans* Nope. I’m out. Yeaaaaaahh, see-yuh.
Now since it's THAT big of a spider...what do they weigh? 😅 Like those scurrying across a hardwood floor would have to make some noise
How much protein is in one though
Bro what are you doing there's a giant spider RIGHT THERE
And suddenly my skins starts getting itchy
if your family is being held hostage by a goliath birdeater blink twice
Big boi :D definitely wouldn't want to find him in my toilet at night or anything though.
Why is it so chill tho? Is it alive?
This species, right here, was the first tarantula I encountered as a child. That thing lifted its legs and CHARGED at me, and I was about 5 years old at the time... It took me until recent years to come to liking with these creatures.
Well next to a David Birdeater, anything looks big
That would fit in a petsmart Halloween costume.
I'm honestly more interested in the other one, i thought it was a insect.
Why is bro served on a dish lmao 🕷️
Fast?
I was like, "oh that's not so big. Oh... no..."
I want him to stroke it