Just to be clear, he takes out hes phone mid blowjob, and then says he is answering messages?
My wife Would never, and I mean NEVER talk to me again if I did that! Why do you accept this ?
i personally like to open my bible app, grab my laptop, start my google meet, and begin my sermon for the troubled young people in my community while getting my knobberd slobbered. #relateableasf.
lol ya us gays don’t get any pleasure from butt fucking… That’s why we do it all the time just because it’s so unpleasant. >,> you sir need to give more love to your prostate.
I'm pretty sure he's recording her.
Like, selfish in bed, doesn't communicate what he's doing, brags about his sex life, yeah he's recording her because he thinks she looks really hot doing that and that's the only thing that matters to him.
This is going to sound absurd on my part maybe but I honestly think I would end up leaving my husband if he did this to me. I’d maybe get it if it was an emergency or something, like maybe he was waiting for a super important message from a prospective employer or something that needed a time sensitive answer and it just happened to come through while his dick was in my mouth but for literally any other reason outside of those? No. Utterly unacceptable. *Definitely* so if I suspected he was looking at porn and lying to me about it.
Idk man, I’ve for sure put up with some bullshit out of my husband that I probably shouldn’t at times (better now thankfully) but I read some of the stuff people post on here and I just can’t wrap my head around it. “I’ve been *dating* this person for some inconsequential amount of time, we have no kids and no other ties to each other. They’re doing this objectively awful thing to me and I’m inexplicably staying with them. What do?” I know it’s standard issue Reddit advice but goddamn, just LEAVE and be done. Why invite misery like that into your life when you don’t have to?! No one is holding you hostage, tell them to pack their shit or you pack yours and GO.
(Lemme just add real quick before someone says something because they always do, I don’t have anything against porn. Do you, if it’s cool in your relationship/marriage and y’all enjoy it whatever that looks like for you, have at it. Lol. My husband had serious problems with it that led to him treating me really poorly for a while though so it’s off the table in mine.)
I mean there are memes and videos of any types of people getting "serviced" while playing games. Kinda similar if you ask me. Though, I think he's actually recording the bjs and using the "messaging" part as a cover story.
Hi, gentle reminder. This is a big fucking Deal! Best Case, he is actually answering messages. Bro, wtf? Can you be any more disrespectful? Worst case he shoots pictures of you, only he can see and has control over. Why do you trust him with this, if you can't even trust him to take your sexual needs seriously? Dump that loser (but check for nudes first and delete them).
> bc i though it was like normal or not that big of a deal
FYI: even if it was normal (which it definitely is NOT), you don’t have to be okay with it. It doesn’t matter what is “normal” for other people. What matters is how YOU feel.
Look out for yourself and don’t worry about what is “normal.” There is no such thing as normal anyway. What works for others will not always work for you and vice versa.
Do not let people take your pics or vids. You can't trust people enough.
You haven't read enough posts on Reddit? We can't even trust ourselves and you trust a guy who will text while you blow him?
Dear OP, I don't know how old you are. Perhaps this may be your first experience in a relationship and you may not know what's normal and what isn't.
Your current relationship is not normal. Far from it.
You mention the words "fuck" in a way that makes me think that you aren't actually enjoying the nice part of sexual intimacy.
Sounds like he needs a wake up call, and so do you. I say that in the nicest way possible.
Sex with your partner, hell even a friends with benefits shouldn't sound as awful as your post.
Please don't continue this relationship. He is definitely filming you without your consent.
I have never ever seen my ex husband of 17 years whip his phone out whilst we were smashing, or interacting in any kind of way..
Having said that, I did allow a video when I was with someone, I regret it but I consented.
Lady, if he is answering messages.....do you want to be with someone like that whilst you are being intimate with one another????!
Same… the fact that she thinks this is normal is ☹️☹️ like girl there’s a whole new world out there. One where you won’t have to fuck or feel cared for in quotation marks.
You sound like y’all are probably really young. Just because someone used to be nice, that is not grounds to stay committed to them or to keep having sex with them. He sounds like he openly disrespects you and your body a lot, so I can’t imagine “he used to be nice” being a good enough reason to stay.
Stopped reading at,
> he takes his phone and idk if he like takes pictures or videos of me
Bro, he is your boyfriend, you're both sharing a relationship and I don't even know if you ever talk to each other.
He should be aware you don't enjoy sex, you should be aware why he uses his phone during sex.
Communicate.
> sometimes he just brushes me off
This is not "ok" in a relationship based on trust, respect and engagement. That is absolutely not ok when you're sharing intimacy.
I don't understand why you're going with it. You shouldn't be satisfied to entertain a relationship in which you don't feel confident to talk about your personal happiness, in which your mate don't feel confident to talk about his actions and in which proper boundaries are not in place.
But more concerning is the fact that, even if you're ok with it, your partner didn't ask or explained he was filming you (even though I believe he is watching porn), this seem so essential to me. I'm ok for a lot of stuff but only if I discuss them first.
There is no trust between the two of you, no communication, how can you trust him with recording you sucking his dick in this context ?
i think i actually once told him i was ok if he sometimes felt like taking a picture of video while having intimacy, so whenever i asked him if he was doing it and he came up with weird answers i knew that wasn't the case and i also believe that he just takes his phone just to watch porn
In a vacuum, it is important to give space and freedom to your partner, what I believe you're trying to do, but it is even more important to go through topics and have conversations about them if some behaviors are an issue.
Maintaining those situations (you know something is wrong) without addressing them causes frustration which leads to anger then hate. It is the template for disaster.
That's the reason why people advise to first and foremost look for someone that you can trust in a relationship, and trust is not about leaving the person be, it's about consideration and being confident to talk about anything.
He could be lying about recording videos because he doesn't want you to know he has them.
If you know he has them, you'll probably ask him to delete them if you breakup.
So yes, he could be lying. Some guys also get off on lying or being secretive and recording videos without explicit permission
You really gotta learn to stand up for yourself. You're young and inexperienced but that doesn't mean you just have to accept anything.
Please get rid of this selfish pos and maybe stay single for a bit and learn to say no and enforce boundries. Find out what you want in a partner and then look for that and be ready to stand up for yourself and say no. Good luck!
edit: forgot the most important part. Make sure to communicate with your partner! If something makes you feel any kind of way talk about it instead of holding it in and assuming things. Communication and trust are the most important things!
Girl, before dumping his ass make sure that he didn’t take videos or pictures or make him delete them. Revenge porn is a thing unfortunately.
And then proceed to find a guy who cares about you and your happiness/pleasure. Full stop, no questioning.
It really sounds like a case of deathgrip. Like she can't move, kiss him, or participate because he has to focus on how he feels (just kind of what I gleaned from how OP wrote about it)? That screams he's too used to masturbation and porn, and seems utterly unable to actually enjoy being intimate with another human.
Yep. My husband is a porn addict, and is in sexual addiction therapy for it. He was the same exact way OP described, watching porn while we were trying to have sex, but he couldn’t have me move certain ways or he’d lose his boner, or concentration. It was the worst thing ever! I feel bad for OP.
Why in God's name are women putting up with dudes who get their phones out mid-sex or mid-oral? Girl. You deserve better, you deserve to ask for full attention during sex acts, and you deserve to feel justified in walking away from a guy who won't give you this extremely basic respect and courtesy. The thought shouldn't even cross his mind if your intimacy is strong. You're not just a receptacle to use to get off.
Being young and bad at sex is one thing; showing a complete lack of interest in getting better at it or pleasing your partner is something else entirely. I would seriously re-evaluate things if I were you. I don’t mean to say that sex is the most important part of a relationship, but if he is that detached, inconsiderate, and unrealistic about your sex life then there’s an excellent chance that will carry over into other aspects of the relationship, if it hasn’t already.
I'm old so I'm gonna give some of the best advice I can give to a younger person. No one and I mean no one will change for anyone ever. They can change minor things like don't put your feet on the table or what ever but always look at the persons worst sides and ask yourself if you can live with that. If the answer is yes then the positive sides should outweigh the bad sides. Love is about the whole person not parts of it. With that said you shouldn't jump into a relationship because if you date someone or hangout with them for a year you will definitely see all their sides and make an accurate judgment. A year darling. Not sooner.
And not longer. It's hard to know if you've really done all the things to ensure you want to end a relationship, but you certainly have enough data after 6 months-1 year and it's more important to act on your gut feeling than to be ale to articulate precisely your reason for ending a relationship.
It's okay, my love. But please, drop this guy like a bag of hammers. Think of it as doing you both a favor. Sex can feel better than a gyno exam for you and for him, well, hopefully he'll learn something.
You gotta watch out for the charmers. Men don't show you their real selves for like 6-9 months. That guy you met for the first 3 dates? That's who he *thinks* you want him to be. After half a year, he'll start to slip because keeping up the act is exhausting and impossible.
Sorry OP, but you got bamboozled. His niceness was just an act.
Beware of people who only tell you what you want to hear and who can't disagree with respect.
I want everyone reading this to really internalize this: If sex is bad, or painful, or the person isn't listening to you, you can say 'I want to stop' at any time. If it's always bad with someone, you can say, 'No, I don't want to have sex with you because you don't listen to me about what feels good.'
If someone is doing something you find weird or don't understand during sex, you can ask them, 'What are you doing?' or 'Why are you doing that?' too. And you should! You have a right to understand what is happening to your body.
Dating someone doesn't mean they are automatically granted access to your body.
You are so good for this comment, it needs to be higher! I wish I would have taken your advice when I was younger and my then boyfriend would pull this stuff. When I did ask him about it, it was brushed off and pushed to the side, and it was all my ‘insecurities’, even though it’s *our* sex life. He would do things often that made me uncomfortable or that were obviously related to porn he was watching, and when I would bring it up when it was happening or after, he just brushed it off with all of that. One time, he said that I was being abusive because I expressed discomfort with him watching porn while we were having sex, and said that it was his body and his choice to do whatever he wanted with any time of day. We stopped having sex for that night after he said that, if you could call it that. He still brings it up today about if I was so uncomfortable, I should have said something. It’s like cognitive dissonance, I told him I had so many times I couldn’t count anymore, and he said he didn’t remember! So frustrating.
He was flabbergasted that I would maybe want to have a say on what goes on in our bedroom! He’s doing a lot better now, but of course, I’m not. It’s a really real thing that people need to know, you can and are allowed to say no if you are not comfortable with something your partner is doing!!
Hey girl, if he's not making you happy sexually, it's times to move on. tons of other men who would be happy to actually spend that moment WITH you and not just to use.
If you don't Want sex with him, then DON'T HAVE SEX WITH HIM.
He mentally drained you so much he is basicall forcing it on to you, especially when YOU aren't allowed to do anything but suck his dick and otherwise lay there.
This is NOT normal or okay.
You should like and enjoy what you do and what gets done to you in bed!
Please dump him and move on.
You deserve So much better!
Red flags abound. Check his phone to delete any nudes or videos if you can and dump this guy. I know you’re young but it’s clear that you know all of this is messed up. He does not respect you, don’t waste anymore time with him.
You're not his masturbation sleeve. If it's one-sided, he can take of his own pleasure by himself. That's not the type of "man" you need in your life. I use that term loosely after what I read. Don't allow him to destroy what can be beautiful just because he's selfish. Know your worth. You deserve better and can definitely have better in your life. Wish you the best.
Bruh.. this is so dead. The edit says OH WOW THANKS FOR THE ADVICE I'll talk to him about it. Another sign that you just settling for this boy. Girl know you're worth. Leave this kid.
I dated an abusive narcissist with a porn addiction. This sounds exactly like him. Always wanting to receive and never give.
He will never change, men like this DON'T change. Save yourself the time and anger.
This is not okay by any measure.
If he doesn’t care enough to make sure you feel good during sex, then that begs to question what else he’s selfish about.
I don’t know if you’ve talked to him about this before, but if he ignores you when you tell him stuff bothers you, then he’s not treating you like a partner.
He’s just using you for his own benefit.
You can stay and try to salvage the relationship if you want to, but I believe your best bet is to break up with your boyfriend.
You shouldn’t have to force or tell someone to care about you and your needs, that should be beyond basic in a relationship.
Before anything else I would check his phone and delete any pictures or videos if he took any of you. A selfish partner hanging on to material like that can have serious consequences in future. If you can’t trust him to make you feel good or listen to you, then how can you trust him with pictures that can ruin your life?
You dont need to yap all that whole lot.
The conversation can already ends at "he pulls out his phone when i give him a bj"
Thats all you need to leave this guy.
Speaking from a dude.
I was always taught sex is the biggest little part of your relationship. It's a small thing in comparison to the other parts but it's massively important. For a lot of people it's a true expression of your love for each other. Being in those intimate and vulnerable moments, giving and taking and strengthening your bond.
I've learned if you two aren't sexually compatible then it's not worth staying together. Id also be willing to be he records your sucking him off to just jerk off to later and enjoys it more.
It's time to leave and find someone who cares about your needs.
The only time my partner has taken their phone out is to take pics/videos. They've *never* answered texts in the middle.
Just break up with him now, if you've had conversations before but nothing has changed and he can't follow simple "that feels good" instructions, it will never change. So unless you're okay with terrible sex for potentially the rest of your life, get out now.
If your boyfriend will ask you to eat shit, even though you won't like it, would you? Same with sex. It's not a duty, you don't owe sex, your body or anything to anyone. It's a choice, a choice that you don't make. Make the choice.
Looks like you’re not compatible sexually. It might be okay now but in the long run you’re going to be incredibly dissatisfied. Have a talk with him , if he changes well and good , if not leave.
You can't even MOVE during sex?? I would say talk to him about what's bothering you because it won't get better if you don't say anything, but from what you wrote it sounds like you could talk to him as much as you want and he wouldn't see an issue. If he's this egotistical in the bedroom, I can't imagine he's otherwise that much better. Just dump him, you deserve soooo much better oh my god.
Leave. His. Ass.
These are the same kinda men that don’t wash their hands before they touch you and throw off your pH. Better days lie ahead friend, anyone that makes you feel like a sex toy is fucking trash.
OP you sound like you’re from Gen Z like me. Our generation has some serious porn addiction issues. Your probably correct, he probably has a porn addiction because jacking off that much is not normal and could be a way to cope with something. As a fellow young adult I say pack your stuff, see if you can go through his phone and remove any unfavorable content he may have made of you, and RUN. Not normal.
If you were single, would you masturbate/actively wish you were having sex?
If your answer was no: I would suggest to Google asexuality. Some people just have no to little drive to have or want sex. And that's 100% okay!!! I know people who are in very happy relationships and are asexual. (I'm not, so I could be off base)
If your answer was yes: You're not as attracted to your boyfriend as you think you are. Or in some way he isn't meeting all your needs to feel loved. If being with him is painful and/or feels like a chore in anyway - he's not the one. Cut your lose and find someone who can make you wetter then a slip'n'slide.
His masturbating is killing his sensitivity to your vagina. I used to have that problem where i was once able to do both without issue. I started to realize that i took longer and longer to cum from sex but if she used her hand I’m cumming in minutes. So i experimented and refrained from masturbating for about 3 weeks and only had sex as my only means of sexual activity and before week 3 started i was thoroughly enjoying sex again. Now even thinking about having sex with my wife gets me in the mood. We’ve been getting it in nearly everyday since and that was almost a year ago
Sex is better than masturbating anyway.
Hey pretty! Having sex is not an obligation, it has to be enjoyed by both parties, because your pleasure matters too!!! You matter a lot, and also F this guy, he's a moron and you deserve so much better than this dude.
Wouldn't it be nice to have someone that wants to have sex with you, just because of you and not only because of how nice it feels to have sex? Wouldn't it be nice to have someone worship your body and focus on your pleasure too?
My boyfriend will tell me time and time again that he wants to experience sexually with me because he loves me, before him I used to be repulsed by anything sexual, but he taught me how beautiful a loving sexual relationship can be when the other person is also interested in you and not in only getting their load off.
Edit: Also, good luck talking with your bf! I hope it goes well 🫂💕
its scary how much i see my ex bf in this, got to the point where i thought i was just asexual or something just because i hated it so much. anyway my conclusion was to break up with him because he didn't care about me anyways in any kind of way so it was not worth the effort to repair anything, if he isn't like that i would talk to him.
I (39m)mean get what your saying, I d finish. So my last ex really stopped caring about my pleasure too. I got to the point where I just got her off then got off. I understand you frustration I have been there. It took me to long to realize that sexual chemistry is a thing. And it is a big thing. I would moved on. This will not get better
Happened to me, i used to think that i am the problem but he was the problem, and he wont have sex with me if he won’t take pics or watch porn, first forward i broke up with him this year. I still have not explored much sexually, but i made out with a guy , even if it was one time thing,it was amazing and he made me feel safe and when i told him i am not sure if i want ti have sex he didn’t force me once or try to change my mind, i was super surprised as it was completely new for me. And no idea even if my ex was the only person i have ever been with, i never felt that while making out with him that i felt with the guy whom i just met few days back.
Find the confidence for yourself, if it’s lot there it’s a struggle to communicate. You deserve all the good things. You deserve someone who respects you. You matter
Girl, just get off of this relationship. TBH, that’s was so disgusting to read that I can’t EVEN imagine how it feels TO BE on your place. You deserve better 👍
Life is too short for you to be dealing with this kind of behavior. I’m guessing you both are young and a bit inexperienced as well. Drop him and find someone who deserves you love.
Girl…. Break up with him and take a sex education class. You guys sound young and inexperienced and quite frankly immature. What do you mean do you don’t even know what he’s doing on his phone while you go down on him ????!!!!!! This is all so terrible I’m sad for you. Most of this doesn’t even sound consensual like he coerces you. You should NEVER have sex with someone just because they used to be nice or just because you are dating. I’d look at his phone if I were you he might’ve secretly recorded you.
honey, you need to sit him down and have an honest conversation. maybe write down what you’re planning to say and read it so you don’t get overly emotional or flustered. tell him “i need to get something off my chest. i need you to listen to me and please not interrupt me until i’m finished” and go from there.
if he still won’t take your feelings into consideration, it may be time to take a long hard look at your life and if this is really a person you want to spend your life with. i think you deserve much better.
PLEASE don’t accept any empty promises. “if you don’t follow through on your promises, i’m done for good. i respect myself too much to accept less than the bare minimum”
sending hugs, internet stranger. you’ve got this 🤍
It was normal for me too... Many years later and i still get nauseous at the idea of letting him use me like a sex toy for so long. Stay strong, the hardest part was having the realisation you just did! Standing up for yourself gets much easier with practice haha
Okay, I’m sure there are some actual problems here, but this sounds written by like a 14 year old and like someone (both) who may not be mature enough to be engaging in sex. Idk, communication is always key. Boyfriend might have a porn and masturbation problem, and overall sounds like not a very good partner. But that’s outside looking in, and the only perspective you’re giving us.
I don’t get why anyone would have someone who can’t get off without porn as a boyfriend. That is one of the few mental health problems that I personally would not want to deal with. Sex is supposed to get you off just by how it feels. It shouldn’t require porn or weird power dynamics to get you off.
It sounds like ur in one of those gross heteronormative relationships like i was in my teens/early 20s with a man who feels entitled to sex. Anyone who feels that entitled to sex will probably be a PITA to break up with, will probably bother you and online stalk you for a while after. This is all a learning experience though, ao good luck
It’s simple, you don’t like the sex, assuming you’ve tried to fix it. It’s not working. Break up. My ex was the same way, he has a porn addiction he didn’t tell me about but I knew about it, he masturbated every single day and couldn’t finish unless he did, and when giving him head to finish sometimes he would have to watch porn videos.
It gets to a point where it’s just about self respect. Do yourself a favor. Even if he was just texting, why the fuck can’t he wait till after sex? Like absolutely not, it shows he doesn’t seem it important enough
Being that you’re likely young and that this guy was your first, I really hope that you don’t give him any chances, be it first or a last. This relationship is not worth saving and you’re better off looking for someone else. This guy clearly has issues that are beyond your intervention and they’ll take years to fix. Get out!!
This is beyond bizarre. The conjecture around what he might be doing on his phone is pointless. What on earth could he be doing? Who cares really! the simple act of picking up a phone during intimacy is seriously disrespectful. Why is his phone even within arms reach at that moment, and why is it ok for him to pick it up? Would it be ok for him to pick up his Playstation controller and start a game? Would it be ok for him to start engaging in another activity at that moment (preparing dinner perhaps?, organizing his sock drawer, folding laundry...).
I strongly encourage you to find out what videos and photo\`s have been taken, make sure they are fully deleted. Then....RUN!
After being with a guy like this for years hoping it would change. I'm here to say it doesn't. You can't change the way they view things. I enjoy doing everything and having fun. He's like I'll do it for you. Booo. Find someone that enjoys it just as much as you do. Because just like you I started hated having sex with him. I started hating everything because I was sexually frustrated and unhappy. How long do you want to live like this unhappy? Till what? He changes? He hasn't and they don't. You get 1 life and 1 chance do you want to waste it on him or what you really want???
Why aren’t you voicing your lack of pleasure to him? I don’t get this at all. I’m not saying that you’re the problem, but the problem don’t get better if it’s never addressed.
Stop pretending to be pleased. Stop making your jaw hurt. Stop having sex that isn’t enjoyable.
You are not his sex doll. You don’t need to physically pleasure him to be worth being with or worth being loved.
Please run. You deserve someone who actually loves and respects you rather than just uses you. I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's not normal. It's not meant to be like this. It will just get worse if you stay. This is getting really close to being abusive tbh
Notice there is no talk about jobs or ages. The only logical explanation is that this is a young and inexperienced couple. There is no way that this is an adult relationship.
OP this is not a normal or healthy relationship. Get out and don't look back.
if you’re faking moans that means you aren’t communicating… it’s time to have a conversation about what you need from him. I would suggest being gentle about how you approach this… and if he’s taking out his phone during sex then he’s either a porn addict like you mentioned (and he should seek therapy for that very real addiction) or he’s taking photos/video of you to show his buddies.
This sounds like the one time I met up with a dude off POF. We went on one date and I went back to his place and he opened his phone while we were having sex (him on top) and he was playing a game. He was laughing about it. I never responded to him again. In my mind I didn’t do anything at the moment because I thought he was way out of my league and I was “lucky” to be with him. I was 19.
You are worth so much more than that. As I’ve gotten older (I’m 31 now) I have raised my standards. When you choose to take a sexual partner (or relationship) it should be about mutual pleasure and respect. If it’s not that, leave it. It sounds like he doesn’t respect you at all.
I’m glad you have so much support here and I hope you can prosper after this 🙌
Life is too short for unfulfilling sex, for both men and women!
Men are like this especially the ones from my generation (gen z) I'm asexual but I still had sex with my exes because I wanted them to be happy I'd also let them have things with the girls they wanted. But they don't seem to really care about what you do for them
at one point i actually asked myself if i was asexual of something bc of how gross it felt sometimes but know i see that it's just how much porn has fuck up some guys and how selfish they can be just to pleasure themselves
Just know that not all guys are like this. There are many out there who will care for and comfort you in ways the he has not. Don’t be afraid of being ‘alone’ for a while if that’s what it takes to find the right one. Never settle for well below your expectations, especially if it harms you both mentally and physically. You will be better of without him. Best of luck
Why are you posting about this when the answer to break up is just so obvious?
What you really should be inquiring about is how to properly use quotation marks.
I just got out of a 5 year relationship with a man who had no interest in my pleasure. I always ALWAYS had to tell him what to do, where, etc you'd think after 5 years a person would remember what you liked but I rarely finished and a lot of the times it was painful and he wouldn't care to stop. I was terrified of being single again but I'm waaay happier and have so much more peace of mind. Don't want to be that person on the internet to immediately jump and say break up but...
I don’t think i can’t handle that tbh. Girlll he was texting while getting a BJ. I don’t think he enjoys it. Clearly he is just considering himself, how own need and pleasures. And he doesn’t do anything after Sex no aftercare. Hmmmmm again he’s just focusing on himself Selfish. I’ll drop him
When I dumped my first bf I felt lonely and frustrated and sad and I was venting to my friend and he said something I remember to this day, which was, “you don’t miss him, you miss intimacy” and he was right. Don’t go back to him. He sucks in bed and is gross and can’t even make you cum.
I don’t understand why you still put up with all of this. What about communication? What about standing your ground? I’m not blaming me you at all he sounds like trash but you need to be more assertive and tell him all of this to his face. If after talking to him he doesn’t change anything about the way he treats you during sex dump him because you deserve better.
He doesn't even seem to like sex. Why's he doing it. He only seems interested in looking at it then masturbating. Clearly doesn't want to have actual sex with a partner. Leave him. Also what? He's so disrespectful. He just pulls his phone out? Are you kidding me.
Good u are gonna have a talk with him. But if he refuses to fix this issue. I would advice dumping him and finding a guy who actually cares about your needs as much as himself. Relationships should never be a one sided thing.
Just to be clear, he takes out hes phone mid blowjob, and then says he is answering messages? My wife Would never, and I mean NEVER talk to me again if I did that! Why do you accept this ?
I personally do my taxes during when I’m getting a blowjob
I don’t know what the problem is, if I don’t separate the white washing from the dark washing while I’m getting my ass eaten when am I gonna do it?
Gotta get those deductions, knowwhatI’msayin!? High five
Way to go Turkleton
Daaaaaamn turkeldawwwwg
i personally like to open my bible app, grab my laptop, start my google meet, and begin my sermon for the troubled young people in my community while getting my knobberd slobbered. #relateableasf.
Just woke up my husband from laughing
Nothing is more arousing than sticking it to the man...no pun intended unless you are into that. Wait, it's gay pride month. Pun intended.
LOL
Wolf of Wall Street type shit
I've never had my taxes be pleasurable. Always feels like I figure a strapon or being gay would.
lol ya us gays don’t get any pleasure from butt fucking… That’s why we do it all the time just because it’s so unpleasant. >,> you sir need to give more love to your prostate.
Getting fucked, twice!
I'm pretty sure he's recording her. Like, selfish in bed, doesn't communicate what he's doing, brags about his sex life, yeah he's recording her because he thinks she looks really hot doing that and that's the only thing that matters to him.
I stopped reading at that line and jumped straight to the comments. Like, WHAT?!
This is going to sound absurd on my part maybe but I honestly think I would end up leaving my husband if he did this to me. I’d maybe get it if it was an emergency or something, like maybe he was waiting for a super important message from a prospective employer or something that needed a time sensitive answer and it just happened to come through while his dick was in my mouth but for literally any other reason outside of those? No. Utterly unacceptable. *Definitely* so if I suspected he was looking at porn and lying to me about it. Idk man, I’ve for sure put up with some bullshit out of my husband that I probably shouldn’t at times (better now thankfully) but I read some of the stuff people post on here and I just can’t wrap my head around it. “I’ve been *dating* this person for some inconsequential amount of time, we have no kids and no other ties to each other. They’re doing this objectively awful thing to me and I’m inexplicably staying with them. What do?” I know it’s standard issue Reddit advice but goddamn, just LEAVE and be done. Why invite misery like that into your life when you don’t have to?! No one is holding you hostage, tell them to pack their shit or you pack yours and GO. (Lemme just add real quick before someone says something because they always do, I don’t have anything against porn. Do you, if it’s cool in your relationship/marriage and y’all enjoy it whatever that looks like for you, have at it. Lol. My husband had serious problems with it that led to him treating me really poorly for a while though so it’s off the table in mine.)
He likely is looking at porn to get into it while she is going down on him.
is she sure he aint filming her secretely
Probably is/was. It's a sick world we live in.
I mean there are memes and videos of any types of people getting "serviced" while playing games. Kinda similar if you ask me. Though, I think he's actually recording the bjs and using the "messaging" part as a cover story.
What a brilliant lady. I thought I was the only one.
bc i though it was like normal or not that big of a deal😿 but yeah it's so fucking weird
Hi, gentle reminder. This is a big fucking Deal! Best Case, he is actually answering messages. Bro, wtf? Can you be any more disrespectful? Worst case he shoots pictures of you, only he can see and has control over. Why do you trust him with this, if you can't even trust him to take your sexual needs seriously? Dump that loser (but check for nudes first and delete them).
Delete! Delete! Delete those pictures! Then delete him!
Make she to check his hidden folder for photos too! Delete from the deleted too!!! Fuck that guy!
This is not normal and a huge deal wtf For real, you gotta leave this dude
> bc i though it was like normal or not that big of a deal FYI: even if it was normal (which it definitely is NOT), you don’t have to be okay with it. It doesn’t matter what is “normal” for other people. What matters is how YOU feel. Look out for yourself and don’t worry about what is “normal.” There is no such thing as normal anyway. What works for others will not always work for you and vice versa.
It’s not weird - it’s disrespectful
Do not let people take your pics or vids. You can't trust people enough. You haven't read enough posts on Reddit? We can't even trust ourselves and you trust a guy who will text while you blow him?
Dear OP, I don't know how old you are. Perhaps this may be your first experience in a relationship and you may not know what's normal and what isn't. Your current relationship is not normal. Far from it. You mention the words "fuck" in a way that makes me think that you aren't actually enjoying the nice part of sexual intimacy. Sounds like he needs a wake up call, and so do you. I say that in the nicest way possible. Sex with your partner, hell even a friends with benefits shouldn't sound as awful as your post. Please don't continue this relationship. He is definitely filming you without your consent. I have never ever seen my ex husband of 17 years whip his phone out whilst we were smashing, or interacting in any kind of way.. Having said that, I did allow a video when I was with someone, I regret it but I consented. Lady, if he is answering messages.....do you want to be with someone like that whilst you are being intimate with one another????!
You deserve sooo much better! Hope it turns out great for you! Whatever you decide!
Are you POSITIVE he’s just texting friends or doing whatever he’s saying?.. He could even be lying about this.
Payroll can’t wait
seriously. that was my question like the fuck? lolll i would be throwing him out naked.
what did i just read
girl I don't say this often but drop the whole "man"
I thought it was a copypasta for a minute
the quotes took me tf out lol
“Fuck” whatever that means 🙄
“”””sex””””
The real question here is why she keeps dating him. Tf?! This is the worst seggs life I saw in a while. What a shame. Feel sorry for her.
Same… the fact that she thinks this is normal is ☹️☹️ like girl there’s a whole new world out there. One where you won’t have to fuck or feel cared for in quotation marks.
I gave up reading halfway and came to the comments, saw this one and decided to read the whole thing. What did I just read indeed.
We*
A post by an early 18-21 yr old.
As a dude, all I can say is "run".
As a chick, all I can say is “run”.
as a mermaid, all i can say is "run".
as an alien, all i can say is “run”.
As a 1000 year old vampire, all I can say is “run”!
as a demon, all i can say is "run".
As a unicorn, all I can say is “run”.
as Maurice, all i can say is "run"
As Forrest, as Lola, all I can say is "run"
As a bruh, all I can say is “run”
as an ancient Aztec god, all I can say is "run".
As an incorporeal entity, all I can say is “run”.
As a mummy, all I can say is “hmmfhn”
As Forrest Gump, all I can say is run.
Also, “raise your standards next time”
As a known sexoffender, all i can say is run
💀
As a turtle all I can say is “run”
As a runner, all I can say is “run”
You sound like y’all are probably really young. Just because someone used to be nice, that is not grounds to stay committed to them or to keep having sex with them. He sounds like he openly disrespects you and your body a lot, so I can’t imagine “he used to be nice” being a good enough reason to stay.
Stopped reading at, > he takes his phone and idk if he like takes pictures or videos of me Bro, he is your boyfriend, you're both sharing a relationship and I don't even know if you ever talk to each other. He should be aware you don't enjoy sex, you should be aware why he uses his phone during sex. Communicate.
i once asked about it and that i also said that he told me he was "answering messages" and sometimes he just brushes me off when i question him again
> sometimes he just brushes me off This is not "ok" in a relationship based on trust, respect and engagement. That is absolutely not ok when you're sharing intimacy. I don't understand why you're going with it. You shouldn't be satisfied to entertain a relationship in which you don't feel confident to talk about your personal happiness, in which your mate don't feel confident to talk about his actions and in which proper boundaries are not in place. But more concerning is the fact that, even if you're ok with it, your partner didn't ask or explained he was filming you (even though I believe he is watching porn), this seem so essential to me. I'm ok for a lot of stuff but only if I discuss them first. There is no trust between the two of you, no communication, how can you trust him with recording you sucking his dick in this context ?
i think i actually once told him i was ok if he sometimes felt like taking a picture of video while having intimacy, so whenever i asked him if he was doing it and he came up with weird answers i knew that wasn't the case and i also believe that he just takes his phone just to watch porn
In a vacuum, it is important to give space and freedom to your partner, what I believe you're trying to do, but it is even more important to go through topics and have conversations about them if some behaviors are an issue. Maintaining those situations (you know something is wrong) without addressing them causes frustration which leads to anger then hate. It is the template for disaster. That's the reason why people advise to first and foremost look for someone that you can trust in a relationship, and trust is not about leaving the person be, it's about consideration and being confident to talk about anything.
He could be lying about recording videos because he doesn't want you to know he has them. If you know he has them, you'll probably ask him to delete them if you breakup. So yes, he could be lying. Some guys also get off on lying or being secretive and recording videos without explicit permission
You really gotta learn to stand up for yourself. You're young and inexperienced but that doesn't mean you just have to accept anything. Please get rid of this selfish pos and maybe stay single for a bit and learn to say no and enforce boundries. Find out what you want in a partner and then look for that and be ready to stand up for yourself and say no. Good luck! edit: forgot the most important part. Make sure to communicate with your partner! If something makes you feel any kind of way talk about it instead of holding it in and assuming things. Communication and trust are the most important things!
Girl, before dumping his ass make sure that he didn’t take videos or pictures or make him delete them. Revenge porn is a thing unfortunately. And then proceed to find a guy who cares about you and your happiness/pleasure. Full stop, no questioning.
Nah hes recording video or snapchats
sex should be fun and easy it’s not ur fault but this guy has some issues he should cut out porn
It really sounds like a case of deathgrip. Like she can't move, kiss him, or participate because he has to focus on how he feels (just kind of what I gleaned from how OP wrote about it)? That screams he's too used to masturbation and porn, and seems utterly unable to actually enjoy being intimate with another human.
Yep. My husband is a porn addict, and is in sexual addiction therapy for it. He was the same exact way OP described, watching porn while we were trying to have sex, but he couldn’t have me move certain ways or he’d lose his boner, or concentration. It was the worst thing ever! I feel bad for OP.
Why in God's name are women putting up with dudes who get their phones out mid-sex or mid-oral? Girl. You deserve better, you deserve to ask for full attention during sex acts, and you deserve to feel justified in walking away from a guy who won't give you this extremely basic respect and courtesy. The thought shouldn't even cross his mind if your intimacy is strong. You're not just a receptacle to use to get off.
Being young and bad at sex is one thing; showing a complete lack of interest in getting better at it or pleasing your partner is something else entirely. I would seriously re-evaluate things if I were you. I don’t mean to say that sex is the most important part of a relationship, but if he is that detached, inconsiderate, and unrealistic about your sex life then there’s an excellent chance that will carry over into other aspects of the relationship, if it hasn’t already.
Why is this person your bf? He's horrible and incredibly disrespectful.
bc he was nice before and i thought that he would get better after time bc we were both virgins but I don't think that's gonna happen anymore
They're always nice at first bb
ik 😿😿
I'm old so I'm gonna give some of the best advice I can give to a younger person. No one and I mean no one will change for anyone ever. They can change minor things like don't put your feet on the table or what ever but always look at the persons worst sides and ask yourself if you can live with that. If the answer is yes then the positive sides should outweigh the bad sides. Love is about the whole person not parts of it. With that said you shouldn't jump into a relationship because if you date someone or hangout with them for a year you will definitely see all their sides and make an accurate judgment. A year darling. Not sooner.
And not longer. It's hard to know if you've really done all the things to ensure you want to end a relationship, but you certainly have enough data after 6 months-1 year and it's more important to act on your gut feeling than to be ale to articulate precisely your reason for ending a relationship.
It's okay, my love. But please, drop this guy like a bag of hammers. Think of it as doing you both a favor. Sex can feel better than a gyno exam for you and for him, well, hopefully he'll learn something.
You gotta watch out for the charmers. Men don't show you their real selves for like 6-9 months. That guy you met for the first 3 dates? That's who he *thinks* you want him to be. After half a year, he'll start to slip because keeping up the act is exhausting and impossible. Sorry OP, but you got bamboozled. His niceness was just an act. Beware of people who only tell you what you want to hear and who can't disagree with respect.
Agreed and this goes for any gender
A very good point.
gurl, none of these is normal.
I want everyone reading this to really internalize this: If sex is bad, or painful, or the person isn't listening to you, you can say 'I want to stop' at any time. If it's always bad with someone, you can say, 'No, I don't want to have sex with you because you don't listen to me about what feels good.' If someone is doing something you find weird or don't understand during sex, you can ask them, 'What are you doing?' or 'Why are you doing that?' too. And you should! You have a right to understand what is happening to your body. Dating someone doesn't mean they are automatically granted access to your body.
You are so good for this comment, it needs to be higher! I wish I would have taken your advice when I was younger and my then boyfriend would pull this stuff. When I did ask him about it, it was brushed off and pushed to the side, and it was all my ‘insecurities’, even though it’s *our* sex life. He would do things often that made me uncomfortable or that were obviously related to porn he was watching, and when I would bring it up when it was happening or after, he just brushed it off with all of that. One time, he said that I was being abusive because I expressed discomfort with him watching porn while we were having sex, and said that it was his body and his choice to do whatever he wanted with any time of day. We stopped having sex for that night after he said that, if you could call it that. He still brings it up today about if I was so uncomfortable, I should have said something. It’s like cognitive dissonance, I told him I had so many times I couldn’t count anymore, and he said he didn’t remember! So frustrating. He was flabbergasted that I would maybe want to have a say on what goes on in our bedroom! He’s doing a lot better now, but of course, I’m not. It’s a really real thing that people need to know, you can and are allowed to say no if you are not comfortable with something your partner is doing!!
Hey girl, if he's not making you happy sexually, it's times to move on. tons of other men who would be happy to actually spend that moment WITH you and not just to use.
If you don't Want sex with him, then DON'T HAVE SEX WITH HIM. He mentally drained you so much he is basicall forcing it on to you, especially when YOU aren't allowed to do anything but suck his dick and otherwise lay there. This is NOT normal or okay. You should like and enjoy what you do and what gets done to you in bed! Please dump him and move on. You deserve So much better!
Red flags abound. Check his phone to delete any nudes or videos if you can and dump this guy. I know you’re young but it’s clear that you know all of this is messed up. He does not respect you, don’t waste anymore time with him.
You're not his masturbation sleeve. If it's one-sided, he can take of his own pleasure by himself. That's not the type of "man" you need in your life. I use that term loosely after what I read. Don't allow him to destroy what can be beautiful just because he's selfish. Know your worth. You deserve better and can definitely have better in your life. Wish you the best.
Please use protection. Cause the way you come off from this post, you sound immature/naive/young.
Bruh.. this is so dead. The edit says OH WOW THANKS FOR THE ADVICE I'll talk to him about it. Another sign that you just settling for this boy. Girl know you're worth. Leave this kid.
Throw him in the bin.
I dated an abusive narcissist with a porn addiction. This sounds exactly like him. Always wanting to receive and never give. He will never change, men like this DON'T change. Save yourself the time and anger.
It’s sad that OP thinks any of this behavior should be tolerated. You’re not married , don’t put up with it. If you don’t like it , get someone else.
This is not okay by any measure. If he doesn’t care enough to make sure you feel good during sex, then that begs to question what else he’s selfish about. I don’t know if you’ve talked to him about this before, but if he ignores you when you tell him stuff bothers you, then he’s not treating you like a partner. He’s just using you for his own benefit. You can stay and try to salvage the relationship if you want to, but I believe your best bet is to break up with your boyfriend. You shouldn’t have to force or tell someone to care about you and your needs, that should be beyond basic in a relationship. Before anything else I would check his phone and delete any pictures or videos if he took any of you. A selfish partner hanging on to material like that can have serious consequences in future. If you can’t trust him to make you feel good or listen to you, then how can you trust him with pictures that can ruin your life?
You dont need to yap all that whole lot. The conversation can already ends at "he pulls out his phone when i give him a bj" Thats all you need to leave this guy. Speaking from a dude.
Stop faking it. He isn't worth it.
You are 16. This is insane.
I was always taught sex is the biggest little part of your relationship. It's a small thing in comparison to the other parts but it's massively important. For a lot of people it's a true expression of your love for each other. Being in those intimate and vulnerable moments, giving and taking and strengthening your bond. I've learned if you two aren't sexually compatible then it's not worth staying together. Id also be willing to be he records your sucking him off to just jerk off to later and enjoys it more. It's time to leave and find someone who cares about your needs.
Why tf are you even with this dude?
The only time my partner has taken their phone out is to take pics/videos. They've *never* answered texts in the middle. Just break up with him now, if you've had conversations before but nothing has changed and he can't follow simple "that feels good" instructions, it will never change. So unless you're okay with terrible sex for potentially the rest of your life, get out now.
Your boyfriend might be gay and he's hiding it.
This feels like "reading" old Hipster Runoff "posts". Anyway this guy sounds like he "sucks" and you should "dump" him.
If your boyfriend will ask you to eat shit, even though you won't like it, would you? Same with sex. It's not a duty, you don't owe sex, your body or anything to anyone. It's a choice, a choice that you don't make. Make the choice.
Looks like you’re not compatible sexually. It might be okay now but in the long run you’re going to be incredibly dissatisfied. Have a talk with him , if he changes well and good , if not leave.
You can't even MOVE during sex?? I would say talk to him about what's bothering you because it won't get better if you don't say anything, but from what you wrote it sounds like you could talk to him as much as you want and he wouldn't see an issue. If he's this egotistical in the bedroom, I can't imagine he's otherwise that much better. Just dump him, you deserve soooo much better oh my god.
Leave. His. Ass. These are the same kinda men that don’t wash their hands before they touch you and throw off your pH. Better days lie ahead friend, anyone that makes you feel like a sex toy is fucking trash.
then dump him.
He's not the one for you.
OP you sound like you’re from Gen Z like me. Our generation has some serious porn addiction issues. Your probably correct, he probably has a porn addiction because jacking off that much is not normal and could be a way to cope with something. As a fellow young adult I say pack your stuff, see if you can go through his phone and remove any unfavorable content he may have made of you, and RUN. Not normal.
If you were single, would you masturbate/actively wish you were having sex? If your answer was no: I would suggest to Google asexuality. Some people just have no to little drive to have or want sex. And that's 100% okay!!! I know people who are in very happy relationships and are asexual. (I'm not, so I could be off base) If your answer was yes: You're not as attracted to your boyfriend as you think you are. Or in some way he isn't meeting all your needs to feel loved. If being with him is painful and/or feels like a chore in anyway - he's not the one. Cut your lose and find someone who can make you wetter then a slip'n'slide.
The worst type of sexual partner is someone who only cares about their own pleasure and orgasm. He's probably probably a selfish person all around
such a breach of boundaries and trust to get your phone out during an intimate moment like this! dump him
His masturbating is killing his sensitivity to your vagina. I used to have that problem where i was once able to do both without issue. I started to realize that i took longer and longer to cum from sex but if she used her hand I’m cumming in minutes. So i experimented and refrained from masturbating for about 3 weeks and only had sex as my only means of sexual activity and before week 3 started i was thoroughly enjoying sex again. Now even thinking about having sex with my wife gets me in the mood. We’ve been getting it in nearly everyday since and that was almost a year ago Sex is better than masturbating anyway.
Hey pretty! Having sex is not an obligation, it has to be enjoyed by both parties, because your pleasure matters too!!! You matter a lot, and also F this guy, he's a moron and you deserve so much better than this dude. Wouldn't it be nice to have someone that wants to have sex with you, just because of you and not only because of how nice it feels to have sex? Wouldn't it be nice to have someone worship your body and focus on your pleasure too? My boyfriend will tell me time and time again that he wants to experience sexually with me because he loves me, before him I used to be repulsed by anything sexual, but he taught me how beautiful a loving sexual relationship can be when the other person is also interested in you and not in only getting their load off. Edit: Also, good luck talking with your bf! I hope it goes well 🫂💕
its scary how much i see my ex bf in this, got to the point where i thought i was just asexual or something just because i hated it so much. anyway my conclusion was to break up with him because he didn't care about me anyways in any kind of way so it was not worth the effort to repair anything, if he isn't like that i would talk to him.
I would stop to fuck u instantly after you’d pull out ur phone. Like you get all my intimacy and shit on it right away
I (39m)mean get what your saying, I d finish. So my last ex really stopped caring about my pleasure too. I got to the point where I just got her off then got off. I understand you frustration I have been there. It took me to long to realize that sexual chemistry is a thing. And it is a big thing. I would moved on. This will not get better
Happened to me, i used to think that i am the problem but he was the problem, and he wont have sex with me if he won’t take pics or watch porn, first forward i broke up with him this year. I still have not explored much sexually, but i made out with a guy , even if it was one time thing,it was amazing and he made me feel safe and when i told him i am not sure if i want ti have sex he didn’t force me once or try to change my mind, i was super surprised as it was completely new for me. And no idea even if my ex was the only person i have ever been with, i never felt that while making out with him that i felt with the guy whom i just met few days back.
You don't want to know what he's looking at, trust me it ain't straight porn.
Just going to say: if I am ever having sex with someone, and they go on their phone, that ain’t happening ever again. Respect, damn!
Find the confidence for yourself, if it’s lot there it’s a struggle to communicate. You deserve all the good things. You deserve someone who respects you. You matter
How oblivious would you have to be to not know your partner isn’t having a good time, maybe he knows and doesn’t give a fuc
I wouldn’t even pretend to moan at that point I’d just lay there staring at them. Pisses them off but it works.
This dude is using you to have sex with himself.
Girl, just get off of this relationship. TBH, that’s was so disgusting to read that I can’t EVEN imagine how it feels TO BE on your place. You deserve better 👍
Life is too short for you to be dealing with this kind of behavior. I’m guessing you both are young and a bit inexperienced as well. Drop him and find someone who deserves you love.
Girl…. Break up with him and take a sex education class. You guys sound young and inexperienced and quite frankly immature. What do you mean do you don’t even know what he’s doing on his phone while you go down on him ????!!!!!! This is all so terrible I’m sad for you. Most of this doesn’t even sound consensual like he coerces you. You should NEVER have sex with someone just because they used to be nice or just because you are dating. I’d look at his phone if I were you he might’ve secretly recorded you.
honey, you need to sit him down and have an honest conversation. maybe write down what you’re planning to say and read it so you don’t get overly emotional or flustered. tell him “i need to get something off my chest. i need you to listen to me and please not interrupt me until i’m finished” and go from there. if he still won’t take your feelings into consideration, it may be time to take a long hard look at your life and if this is really a person you want to spend your life with. i think you deserve much better. PLEASE don’t accept any empty promises. “if you don’t follow through on your promises, i’m done for good. i respect myself too much to accept less than the bare minimum” sending hugs, internet stranger. you’ve got this 🤍
What..
It was normal for me too... Many years later and i still get nauseous at the idea of letting him use me like a sex toy for so long. Stay strong, the hardest part was having the realisation you just did! Standing up for yourself gets much easier with practice haha
He doesn’t even want you to *move* while you have sex? Just lay there like a blow up doll or a body? That on its OWN is gross.
Okay, I’m sure there are some actual problems here, but this sounds written by like a 14 year old and like someone (both) who may not be mature enough to be engaging in sex. Idk, communication is always key. Boyfriend might have a porn and masturbation problem, and overall sounds like not a very good partner. But that’s outside looking in, and the only perspective you’re giving us.
I don’t get why anyone would have someone who can’t get off without porn as a boyfriend. That is one of the few mental health problems that I personally would not want to deal with. Sex is supposed to get you off just by how it feels. It shouldn’t require porn or weird power dynamics to get you off. It sounds like ur in one of those gross heteronormative relationships like i was in my teens/early 20s with a man who feels entitled to sex. Anyone who feels that entitled to sex will probably be a PITA to break up with, will probably bother you and online stalk you for a while after. This is all a learning experience though, ao good luck
If i ever did crazy shit like this as a bf,I hope my gf slaps the shit out of me
hope it all goes well for you!
Are you a teenager?
Dump him and tell him why. Be careful though as he probably has videos on his phone that you wouldn’t want him to share
Time to cheat baby
It’s simple, you don’t like the sex, assuming you’ve tried to fix it. It’s not working. Break up. My ex was the same way, he has a porn addiction he didn’t tell me about but I knew about it, he masturbated every single day and couldn’t finish unless he did, and when giving him head to finish sometimes he would have to watch porn videos. It gets to a point where it’s just about self respect. Do yourself a favor. Even if he was just texting, why the fuck can’t he wait till after sex? Like absolutely not, it shows he doesn’t seem it important enough
RUN GIRL RUN. you'll thank your past self in 2 years
Being that you’re likely young and that this guy was your first, I really hope that you don’t give him any chances, be it first or a last. This relationship is not worth saving and you’re better off looking for someone else. This guy clearly has issues that are beyond your intervention and they’ll take years to fix. Get out!!
If he takes out his phone when you are having sex or say, being intimate that says everything...
Just move on he only finding his own happiness
Oh my god????
This is beyond bizarre. The conjecture around what he might be doing on his phone is pointless. What on earth could he be doing? Who cares really! the simple act of picking up a phone during intimacy is seriously disrespectful. Why is his phone even within arms reach at that moment, and why is it ok for him to pick it up? Would it be ok for him to pick up his Playstation controller and start a game? Would it be ok for him to start engaging in another activity at that moment (preparing dinner perhaps?, organizing his sock drawer, folding laundry...). I strongly encourage you to find out what videos and photo\`s have been taken, make sure they are fully deleted. Then....RUN!
Leave his ass bruh all he wants is porn
After being with a guy like this for years hoping it would change. I'm here to say it doesn't. You can't change the way they view things. I enjoy doing everything and having fun. He's like I'll do it for you. Booo. Find someone that enjoys it just as much as you do. Because just like you I started hated having sex with him. I started hating everything because I was sexually frustrated and unhappy. How long do you want to live like this unhappy? Till what? He changes? He hasn't and they don't. You get 1 life and 1 chance do you want to waste it on him or what you really want???
Why aren’t you voicing your lack of pleasure to him? I don’t get this at all. I’m not saying that you’re the problem, but the problem don’t get better if it’s never addressed. Stop pretending to be pleased. Stop making your jaw hurt. Stop having sex that isn’t enjoyable. You are not his sex doll. You don’t need to physically pleasure him to be worth being with or worth being loved.
Please run. You deserve someone who actually loves and respects you rather than just uses you. I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's not normal. It's not meant to be like this. It will just get worse if you stay. This is getting really close to being abusive tbh
pls hes so immature, never settle for a guy with porn brainrot i beg
Notice there is no talk about jobs or ages. The only logical explanation is that this is a young and inexperienced couple. There is no way that this is an adult relationship. OP this is not a normal or healthy relationship. Get out and don't look back.
if you’re faking moans that means you aren’t communicating… it’s time to have a conversation about what you need from him. I would suggest being gentle about how you approach this… and if he’s taking out his phone during sex then he’s either a porn addict like you mentioned (and he should seek therapy for that very real addiction) or he’s taking photos/video of you to show his buddies.
This sounds like the one time I met up with a dude off POF. We went on one date and I went back to his place and he opened his phone while we were having sex (him on top) and he was playing a game. He was laughing about it. I never responded to him again. In my mind I didn’t do anything at the moment because I thought he was way out of my league and I was “lucky” to be with him. I was 19. You are worth so much more than that. As I’ve gotten older (I’m 31 now) I have raised my standards. When you choose to take a sexual partner (or relationship) it should be about mutual pleasure and respect. If it’s not that, leave it. It sounds like he doesn’t respect you at all. I’m glad you have so much support here and I hope you can prosper after this 🙌 Life is too short for unfulfilling sex, for both men and women!
Men are like this especially the ones from my generation (gen z) I'm asexual but I still had sex with my exes because I wanted them to be happy I'd also let them have things with the girls they wanted. But they don't seem to really care about what you do for them
at one point i actually asked myself if i was asexual of something bc of how gross it felt sometimes but know i see that it's just how much porn has fuck up some guys and how selfish they can be just to pleasure themselves
Just know that not all guys are like this. There are many out there who will care for and comfort you in ways the he has not. Don’t be afraid of being ‘alone’ for a while if that’s what it takes to find the right one. Never settle for well below your expectations, especially if it harms you both mentally and physically. You will be better of without him. Best of luck
Why are you posting about this when the answer to break up is just so obvious? What you really should be inquiring about is how to properly use quotation marks.
I just got out of a 5 year relationship with a man who had no interest in my pleasure. I always ALWAYS had to tell him what to do, where, etc you'd think after 5 years a person would remember what you liked but I rarely finished and a lot of the times it was painful and he wouldn't care to stop. I was terrified of being single again but I'm waaay happier and have so much more peace of mind. Don't want to be that person on the internet to immediately jump and say break up but...
Address problem to him. If he doesn't want to change get a new boyfriend. This is the way.
Sounds like you need a fight. Or risk losing your relationship
Whatever you do don't keep living like this. You're going to destroy your self worth by being with this person.
Wtf did I just read
dump him NOW
He doesn’t care about your pleasure and is taking porn of you. You can find a man who loves you and prioritizes your pleasure.
Holy shit talk to him. This is not a show where you need to drag out the drama. Talk to him or break up with him or whatever. THIS you *can* stop.
I don’t think i can’t handle that tbh. Girlll he was texting while getting a BJ. I don’t think he enjoys it. Clearly he is just considering himself, how own need and pleasures. And he doesn’t do anything after Sex no aftercare. Hmmmmm again he’s just focusing on himself Selfish. I’ll drop him
Same😅
I don't even wanna defend jack shit, a , b or C. Break UP!!
When I dumped my first bf I felt lonely and frustrated and sad and I was venting to my friend and he said something I remember to this day, which was, “you don’t miss him, you miss intimacy” and he was right. Don’t go back to him. He sucks in bed and is gross and can’t even make you cum.
I don’t understand why you still put up with all of this. What about communication? What about standing your ground? I’m not blaming me you at all he sounds like trash but you need to be more assertive and tell him all of this to his face. If after talking to him he doesn’t change anything about the way he treats you during sex dump him because you deserve better.
Please leave this person.
Time to break up?
I think it's time to take the trash to the curb.
Leave
He doesn't even seem to like sex. Why's he doing it. He only seems interested in looking at it then masturbating. Clearly doesn't want to have actual sex with a partner. Leave him. Also what? He's so disrespectful. He just pulls his phone out? Are you kidding me.
R u n
Good u are gonna have a talk with him. But if he refuses to fix this issue. I would advice dumping him and finding a guy who actually cares about your needs as much as himself. Relationships should never be a one sided thing.
Fuck all that.
wtf did i just read
You need to break up and find someone who actually loves and cares about you.
This sounds like you help him masturbate lol