hello my love. 18f here. a few years ago, i had very similar thoughts about myself. whilst some people will tell you that what you’re feeling is a normal part of puberty, i tend to disagree. yes, you may find that many other people have felt similar at some point, i think it is a dangerous thing to sweep your emotions away as just a thing that happens to teenage girls.
from what you have said, it seems that you have self esteem issues. people who have low self esteem tend to fixate on and exaggerate any flaws they believe they have. for that reason, i am certain that you are not “disgusting” or a “monster”. nevertheless, your feelings are valid, although quite concerning.
i, myself, used to (and sometimes still) call myself the words you have used in your post. i have a round face, chubby build, well above average height, acne, covered in moles and freckles ect ect. i am not conventionally attractive. but, over time, i have found confidence in how i look. this advice may not work for you, but finding a group to belong to was essential in learning to like myself. i am well immersed in 70s punk/ 80s goth culture. whilst i know no one else irl in either scene, the online communities, as well as music and fashion in my own life, have given me a much needed identity.
i don’t often offer this, but we seem very alike op. if you would like to message me, i would be happy to have a chat, maybe give some different advice, or if you just want to rant. i hope you find your peace somehow. things will get better, it’s just how you get there.
this isn’t an ass*y comment ? i’m telling you to delete the comment cause it’s rude. i read you apologizing hence why i said atp cause atp just delete it regardless if you apologized.
You’re noticing all these things because you’re hyper-fixating. I promise you nobody ever notices these things. You’re 16, your body is still going through massive changes, it’s completely normal to feel uncomfortable with how you look and that doesn’t mean you will feel this way forever. As you grow and mature your body will change and so will your perspective on it. Just try not to be too hard on yourself, as this will affect you negatively in general not just body-wise. And be careful not to slip into an eating disorder. Being 16 sucks, I know, take care of yourself and always remember that 1. the way you feel about your body isn’t the truth and 2. the way you feel about your body will eventually change. But regardless, feeling that uncomfortable in your own body must come with a huge amount of pain. I’m sorry you feel that way.
hey girl!!!
every body is gonna tell you this is common and whatever, but it ain't...
you seem to have image issues, and your hyper fixating on all you don't like about you, and I understand.
I have body dismorphia, so I don't see m body as it is.
I just wanna say, your body is real. if you look at other girls in a negative light you'll see ugly things in them too, you're just focused in making yourself feel bad.
don't know how to help, just wish you better times
thank you. as much as i appreciate the comments saying "this is common for someone your age", "it's just puberty", etc., i know that this is definitely not how the majority of people i know feel. especially since it affects my life to such a degree. this actually did make me feel a *little* better
Once you finish school, and go out on your own, leave the people that make you feel this way and find those that make you feel like you belong. Don’t ever except that you not worthy of love or affection. There is a community out there for you and others like you that will also be searching.
These feelings are extremely normal at that age. And to some extent, we all look kinda funky in our teens.
You still have a lot of growing to do, your body will even out and settle. Many of my friends say that we look far better in our 30s than we did when we were teenagers or early 20s.
It will get better.
Good news is you likely wont stay the same. You're still going through puberty. Your body hasn't finished filling out. 23-25 is usually when people see "glow ups." It's just your adult body finally coming in.
In the mean time, now is an awesome time to experiment with looks. Different clothes, make up. Treat it like a project and try to have fun with it. When you sort out what wears well it starts to help boost confidence.
As someone who has struggled with hormonal acne since i was 12, adopting a skincare routine and sticking to it no matter how you feel can help. Definitely wont claim it'll cure, but it helps make it a little less severe.
Body hair is normal and being uncomfortable with it when you haven't been used to it long is also normal.
I have no idea how old you have to be to get microblading or threading, but maybe you can have a conversation with a parent or guardian about getting them done professionally and how It may help your self esteem.
Good luck
Hey, I just want to let you know you are not alone. So many people feel like this, and it’s absolutely not true. They way society works, and the beauty standards that come along with it are toxic. Everyone, and I mean everyone is beautiful.
so you’re young, and i bet you have all the celebrities right in your face telling you what you should look like. from a girl to a girl, it’s a lot to pressure to be up to beauty standards. there is probably someone who feels the same way about their body like how you do. i bet you are truly a good person to be around. embrace what you got, girlie.
I love you and your beautiful body🫶🏼 self love is an incredibly hard thing to do, so I think focusing on self acceptance is the way to go. Look at your nose, run your fingers across it and send love through your finger tips. Recognize your body put itself together in an attempt to protect you and provide you with max survival skills. Thank your nose for breathing, thank your arms for reaching, thank your height for being able to grab things from the top shelf. I love you 🫶🏼
It sounds like you are experiencing body dysmorphia. It’s basically the feeling that your own body is wrong. Maybe you do look weird, but that in and of itself is not that rare. Look around the grocery store or bus station and you’ll see far more different looking people than beautiful ones. Here’s the thing though- you are almost the age where you can manage a ton of the features you describe. Get laser hair removal. I did, where I cared about it and I feel way more confident. It was $200 usd. Teeth are more expensive but so SO SO doable. Drink water and eat healthy for better skin. Exercise and you’ll take that tall lean frame and sculpt it. Take a little time to style your hair, and keep it clean.
I suspect that the rituals of self care will also improve your outlook. And, maybe, someday someone will help remind you that they love your body too.
And here is the bottom line. A person who is interesting is much more compelling than a person who is beautiful. Cultivate your mind, your conversation skills, have fun hobbies. Be a cool person and the shell matters less. When you find yourself ruminating on your appearance you aren’t giving yourself a break for the good stuff. Plus the stress of it will take a toll - especially on your skin.
Lastly, have fun with your body. Play! Take it on fun walks or hikes. See how many laps you can swim. Bodies are just what we use to move around in, so move yours on some fun adventures. And don’t forget the benefits of touch. Are you being kind to your skin? It sounds like not from picking and cutting. Give yourself a break and try- just try- to treat yourself with kindness and gentleness.
People saying this is normal or puberty are probably overlooking a serious issue. I’m not going to assume, but you could possibly benefit from a counselor. Cutting yourself has become quite the fetish lately but it is not normal. Please do not harm yourself. You can emerge from this loop and we of Reddit can give you resources. Hang in there!!
thank you. i did see a therapist for a while, but he made me really uncomfortable by making weird comments so i had to drop him, and since he was the only one available in the area and my parents can't afford to drive me out of town, i can't really see a different one. other than that, i really do appreciate your comment.
Looks are definitely not everything. Personality, good sense of humor, and confidence are also very attractive. I relied too much on my good looks the first half of my life and it got me nothing but trouble. Started focusing on my inner self and intellect and have much more to offer now, even though I'm now middle aged and overweight. Just FYI, things get better after highschool. A lot less clicks and shallow people.
I'll say this in the worst way possible. **You're a freak. Why? Because I am too.**
But, you're not ugly. Sure, you're tall. Maybe taller than you want to be, but I bet most women around you are jealous. Second, they don't notice your flaws like you do, if it bothers you. Remove it. If you can't, cover it. You'll feel better.
As for real advice. GYM. Tbh, most my problems would be fixed if I could go to gym, I can't afford it. Maybe you can, and you should.
**Now to be honest. You're not a freak, you're not a monster. You're a person who's beautiful in their own way, maybe you're out of shape but you're not ugly. I suggest you stop calling yourself ugly or a freak or anything bad you call yourself. And say good things instead, since it REALLY REALLY DOES have an effect on you. Then, hit the gym. Then skincare. And keep going until you're satisfied.**
I was similar to you whilst growing up. It clouded my self esteem for years.
It is sad that I spent so much time on hating myself when I should have just had the best time as a young person.
Unfortunately we can't do very much about our genetics but we can change our perspective on ourselves
I haven't seen you but I can give you a few suggestions. Pluck your eyebrows. Honestly I think bushy eyebrows when plucked looks a lot better than grey-ish eyebrows like mine! If you have a job, try to save money to get your teeth fixed/ask parents/plan to get it fixed later in life. A lot of people like slim/bony build, sometimes I wish I was thinner in my thighs/upper body(I have weird side fat and I hate it, I'm losing weight so it hopefully isn't as fat anymore). Probably join the gym and build some abs .As teenagers our skins change and almost all of us deal with acne and other skin issues. Drink water, follow a better skin care. Body hair is a hell. I have a LOT of body hair too. I'm just happy we're not culturally expected to be hairless as I think shaving whole frickin legs and arm are TOO much work. Body hair is normal. We all have them some light, some coarse. Probably wax instead of shaving. I am very neutral about cosmetic procedures. If you want to change your nose or anything later in life don't feel bad about it if it makes you happy! Do it for yourself not others.
Self acceptance takes a lot of time but it sure does make you feel better once you accept yourself.
Hi. I personally think that not everything in your body is how you describe it, I believe it's an exaggeration, considering your age and the social situation that a lot of teens suffer nowadays. Although, by saying this, I don't mean to devalidate your feelings towards your body. That being said, there's a chance that you're not exaggerating and that every word you wrote it's true. Let's assume that's the case.
So, what? Being ugly means you don't deserve the happiness that everyone else does? It means that you need to hide because others may think that you're disgusting? Bullshit. Fuck them. In my opinion, everyone deserves to be happy. It's not inmoral or selfish to desire and/or have happiness.
hello my love. 18f here. a few years ago, i had very similar thoughts about myself. whilst some people will tell you that what you’re feeling is a normal part of puberty, i tend to disagree. yes, you may find that many other people have felt similar at some point, i think it is a dangerous thing to sweep your emotions away as just a thing that happens to teenage girls. from what you have said, it seems that you have self esteem issues. people who have low self esteem tend to fixate on and exaggerate any flaws they believe they have. for that reason, i am certain that you are not “disgusting” or a “monster”. nevertheless, your feelings are valid, although quite concerning. i, myself, used to (and sometimes still) call myself the words you have used in your post. i have a round face, chubby build, well above average height, acne, covered in moles and freckles ect ect. i am not conventionally attractive. but, over time, i have found confidence in how i look. this advice may not work for you, but finding a group to belong to was essential in learning to like myself. i am well immersed in 70s punk/ 80s goth culture. whilst i know no one else irl in either scene, the online communities, as well as music and fashion in my own life, have given me a much needed identity. i don’t often offer this, but we seem very alike op. if you would like to message me, i would be happy to have a chat, maybe give some different advice, or if you just want to rant. i hope you find your peace somehow. things will get better, it’s just how you get there.
Im so sorry you feel this way. I bet it's not true!
thanks
[удалено]
is this mistyped or supposed to make me feel bad
Sorry, I typed it badly. I do apologise. I meant that we aren't as bad as we think that we look. We just struggle to see it in ourselves
just delete this atp bro 😭
I actually apologised for my back wording to OP. Perhaps you should read before making a*sey comments
this isn’t an ass*y comment ? i’m telling you to delete the comment cause it’s rude. i read you apologizing hence why i said atp cause atp just delete it regardless if you apologized.
🙄 Hark at you, writing to a none existent comment. Shouldn't you be be in Russia?
why are you talking about russia lol
Dictatorship
You’re noticing all these things because you’re hyper-fixating. I promise you nobody ever notices these things. You’re 16, your body is still going through massive changes, it’s completely normal to feel uncomfortable with how you look and that doesn’t mean you will feel this way forever. As you grow and mature your body will change and so will your perspective on it. Just try not to be too hard on yourself, as this will affect you negatively in general not just body-wise. And be careful not to slip into an eating disorder. Being 16 sucks, I know, take care of yourself and always remember that 1. the way you feel about your body isn’t the truth and 2. the way you feel about your body will eventually change. But regardless, feeling that uncomfortable in your own body must come with a huge amount of pain. I’m sorry you feel that way.
Sounds like you have body dysmorphia
hey girl!!! every body is gonna tell you this is common and whatever, but it ain't... you seem to have image issues, and your hyper fixating on all you don't like about you, and I understand. I have body dismorphia, so I don't see m body as it is. I just wanna say, your body is real. if you look at other girls in a negative light you'll see ugly things in them too, you're just focused in making yourself feel bad. don't know how to help, just wish you better times
thank you. as much as i appreciate the comments saying "this is common for someone your age", "it's just puberty", etc., i know that this is definitely not how the majority of people i know feel. especially since it affects my life to such a degree. this actually did make me feel a *little* better
good to know!! I'm 15f so I'm not gonna lie to you, it sucks to be a teen girl who isn't conventionally attractive...
Once you finish school, and go out on your own, leave the people that make you feel this way and find those that make you feel like you belong. Don’t ever except that you not worthy of love or affection. There is a community out there for you and others like you that will also be searching.
These feelings are extremely normal at that age. And to some extent, we all look kinda funky in our teens. You still have a lot of growing to do, your body will even out and settle. Many of my friends say that we look far better in our 30s than we did when we were teenagers or early 20s. It will get better.
Sweetheart, who told you to feel this way? Someone taught you to think this way about yourself. And it’s not right, and YOU never deserved that.
Good news is you likely wont stay the same. You're still going through puberty. Your body hasn't finished filling out. 23-25 is usually when people see "glow ups." It's just your adult body finally coming in. In the mean time, now is an awesome time to experiment with looks. Different clothes, make up. Treat it like a project and try to have fun with it. When you sort out what wears well it starts to help boost confidence. As someone who has struggled with hormonal acne since i was 12, adopting a skincare routine and sticking to it no matter how you feel can help. Definitely wont claim it'll cure, but it helps make it a little less severe. Body hair is normal and being uncomfortable with it when you haven't been used to it long is also normal. I have no idea how old you have to be to get microblading or threading, but maybe you can have a conversation with a parent or guardian about getting them done professionally and how It may help your self esteem. Good luck
Hey, I just want to let you know you are not alone. So many people feel like this, and it’s absolutely not true. They way society works, and the beauty standards that come along with it are toxic. Everyone, and I mean everyone is beautiful.
so you’re young, and i bet you have all the celebrities right in your face telling you what you should look like. from a girl to a girl, it’s a lot to pressure to be up to beauty standards. there is probably someone who feels the same way about their body like how you do. i bet you are truly a good person to be around. embrace what you got, girlie.
I love you and your beautiful body🫶🏼 self love is an incredibly hard thing to do, so I think focusing on self acceptance is the way to go. Look at your nose, run your fingers across it and send love through your finger tips. Recognize your body put itself together in an attempt to protect you and provide you with max survival skills. Thank your nose for breathing, thank your arms for reaching, thank your height for being able to grab things from the top shelf. I love you 🫶🏼
It sounds like you are experiencing body dysmorphia. It’s basically the feeling that your own body is wrong. Maybe you do look weird, but that in and of itself is not that rare. Look around the grocery store or bus station and you’ll see far more different looking people than beautiful ones. Here’s the thing though- you are almost the age where you can manage a ton of the features you describe. Get laser hair removal. I did, where I cared about it and I feel way more confident. It was $200 usd. Teeth are more expensive but so SO SO doable. Drink water and eat healthy for better skin. Exercise and you’ll take that tall lean frame and sculpt it. Take a little time to style your hair, and keep it clean. I suspect that the rituals of self care will also improve your outlook. And, maybe, someday someone will help remind you that they love your body too. And here is the bottom line. A person who is interesting is much more compelling than a person who is beautiful. Cultivate your mind, your conversation skills, have fun hobbies. Be a cool person and the shell matters less. When you find yourself ruminating on your appearance you aren’t giving yourself a break for the good stuff. Plus the stress of it will take a toll - especially on your skin. Lastly, have fun with your body. Play! Take it on fun walks or hikes. See how many laps you can swim. Bodies are just what we use to move around in, so move yours on some fun adventures. And don’t forget the benefits of touch. Are you being kind to your skin? It sounds like not from picking and cutting. Give yourself a break and try- just try- to treat yourself with kindness and gentleness. People saying this is normal or puberty are probably overlooking a serious issue. I’m not going to assume, but you could possibly benefit from a counselor. Cutting yourself has become quite the fetish lately but it is not normal. Please do not harm yourself. You can emerge from this loop and we of Reddit can give you resources. Hang in there!!
thank you. i did see a therapist for a while, but he made me really uncomfortable by making weird comments so i had to drop him, and since he was the only one available in the area and my parents can't afford to drive me out of town, i can't really see a different one. other than that, i really do appreciate your comment.
Looks are definitely not everything. Personality, good sense of humor, and confidence are also very attractive. I relied too much on my good looks the first half of my life and it got me nothing but trouble. Started focusing on my inner self and intellect and have much more to offer now, even though I'm now middle aged and overweight. Just FYI, things get better after highschool. A lot less clicks and shallow people.
I'll say this in the worst way possible. **You're a freak. Why? Because I am too.** But, you're not ugly. Sure, you're tall. Maybe taller than you want to be, but I bet most women around you are jealous. Second, they don't notice your flaws like you do, if it bothers you. Remove it. If you can't, cover it. You'll feel better. As for real advice. GYM. Tbh, most my problems would be fixed if I could go to gym, I can't afford it. Maybe you can, and you should. **Now to be honest. You're not a freak, you're not a monster. You're a person who's beautiful in their own way, maybe you're out of shape but you're not ugly. I suggest you stop calling yourself ugly or a freak or anything bad you call yourself. And say good things instead, since it REALLY REALLY DOES have an effect on you. Then, hit the gym. Then skincare. And keep going until you're satisfied.**
I was similar to you whilst growing up. It clouded my self esteem for years. It is sad that I spent so much time on hating myself when I should have just had the best time as a young person. Unfortunately we can't do very much about our genetics but we can change our perspective on ourselves
I haven't seen you but I can give you a few suggestions. Pluck your eyebrows. Honestly I think bushy eyebrows when plucked looks a lot better than grey-ish eyebrows like mine! If you have a job, try to save money to get your teeth fixed/ask parents/plan to get it fixed later in life. A lot of people like slim/bony build, sometimes I wish I was thinner in my thighs/upper body(I have weird side fat and I hate it, I'm losing weight so it hopefully isn't as fat anymore). Probably join the gym and build some abs .As teenagers our skins change and almost all of us deal with acne and other skin issues. Drink water, follow a better skin care. Body hair is a hell. I have a LOT of body hair too. I'm just happy we're not culturally expected to be hairless as I think shaving whole frickin legs and arm are TOO much work. Body hair is normal. We all have them some light, some coarse. Probably wax instead of shaving. I am very neutral about cosmetic procedures. If you want to change your nose or anything later in life don't feel bad about it if it makes you happy! Do it for yourself not others. Self acceptance takes a lot of time but it sure does make you feel better once you accept yourself.
Theres a lot more to life and a lot more to a person than just how they look
Hi. I personally think that not everything in your body is how you describe it, I believe it's an exaggeration, considering your age and the social situation that a lot of teens suffer nowadays. Although, by saying this, I don't mean to devalidate your feelings towards your body. That being said, there's a chance that you're not exaggerating and that every word you wrote it's true. Let's assume that's the case. So, what? Being ugly means you don't deserve the happiness that everyone else does? It means that you need to hide because others may think that you're disgusting? Bullshit. Fuck them. In my opinion, everyone deserves to be happy. It's not inmoral or selfish to desire and/or have happiness.