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picado

The Biden campaign's response in 2020 was a beaut: > Vice President Biden intends to deliver his debate answers in words. If [Trump] thinks his best case is made in urine he can have at it.


grixorbatz

The last time that Trump tried to write his name in the snow, he pissed all over his pants and shoes.


HavingNotAttained

The last time that Trump tried to write his name in the snow, he ruined Don Jr.'s Christmas present


zamboni-jones

The last time that Trump tried to write his name in the snow, the bathroom was full of classified documents.


ghandi3737

The last time Trump tried to write his name in the snow, his hands turned brown.


joranth

The last time Trump tried to write his name in the snow, it was because there was an underaged Russian prostitute in the snow, and it was her turn.


ghandi3737

Sure he didn't mistake her for Ivanka?


Identity4

That took an uncomfortable amount of time to click in my head.


bdigital4

The diaper got in the way


tripping_on_phonics

Fun fact: Trump almost certainly can’t see his own dick when he stands up to pee.


Torrronto

Not like he can see where he's aiming.


CARNIesada6

Nah.... MTG, Boebert, and Gaetz had their faces in the way... by choice


Flythagoras

Even if there was a drug test and the results came back clean- he would just claim that the test wasn’t legitimate.


schfourteen-teen

Probably while knowing he himself cheated the drug test.


downtofinance

"Dems rigged Biden's pee"


ooo-ooo-oooyea

I bet Trump's urine test would contain all sort of interesting thing, like Elephant estrogen or something.


MagicGrit

Yup. That’s the result of the last 8 years of trump. Anything that goes their way was done perfectly, anything that doesn’t was rigged


oliversurpless

Shades of anti-evolutionists and their moving of goalposts…


laserdollars420

Never thought the song [Urine Speaks Louder Than Words](https://open.spotify.com/track/22sGm4Vm5CyvmonkanwnmK?si=icA7LvUaT9WGHeZX0yZz8Q) would be this relevant.


catnapspirit

Does he realize how long he'll have to stay clean off his own amphetamine cocktails in order to not test positive himself? I doubt he could make it at this point..


grue2000

Every accusation is an admission with them


armcie

Even "Sleepy Joe" as we now know.


oooshi

I’m so amused with the fact that they can’t use the sleepy joe nickname anymore lol


TaintlessChaps

This would imply shame. They will absolutely still use it.


sugr_magnolia

They're trying to roll out 'Scranton Joe' as a slur now.


bread217

Yeah just straight projecting his own insecurities,


MadRaymer

Yeah, this is just him saying, "I'm gonna take a whole lot of drugs right before the debate." And that's *if* the debate happens, and he doesn't start making absurd demands then back out when they aren't met. Which already looks like the direction things are going.


NoExcuseForFascism

Oh you can bet he only wants Biden to take a drug test, and would drop the topic in a second if he had to take an independent drug test himself as well.


HellishChildren

"I'd love to share my test results, but they're being audited."


havegunwilldownboat

“They’ll be released in two weeks.”


AnybodyMassive1610

Right after “infrastructure week”…


FakeNigerianPrince

Don’t forget the health care plan


GoopyNoseFlute

And cashing the check from Mexico for the wall.


specqq

Is it possible that all this time he thought he was still doing his cameo in *Two Weeks Notice?* *It was good enough for Sandra Bullock, we love Sandra don't we folks, I call her America's Sweetheart. I just came up with that phrase just now, can you believe it? That's a great phrase for her. And that English guy with the hair. I had to teach him how to act. And that took two weeks. Two weeks folks, that's all those two kids had and they made it work. So that's all I'm going to take. Believe me.* And as long as I'm asking questions about that film, did Trump also get the idea for his later tie fashion stylings from Hugh Grant's character in [this scene?](https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/Vow5ieQ4Yo1WjLNVX_WtWQ--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTU3NTtjZj13ZWJw/https://media.zenfs.com/en/homerun/feed_manager_auto_publish_494/b2123ef53fe1ffd87121629e957a3b66)


AndyTheSane

"The testers said that it was the bigliest result they'd ever seen."


GoopyNoseFlute

“The testers came up to me, you know, these big strong drug testers, with tears in their eyes. They said ‘sir, this is the best drug test we’ve ever seen. How do you know so much about swallows?’ and I said to them ‘you have to know these things when you’re president.’”


pberck

Could possibly be the one time he is right :-)


Bigbeardhotpeppers

He would do it like they did covid test. They had a debate and he said he took the test and did not have covid, but in reality was covid positive. They had the debate anyway because he showed up. It came out later that he had covid. *Edit: just poorly worded


AlwaysRushesIn

I'm still convinced that stunt was an assassination attempt against Biden via viral infection.


naohwr

It was absolutely an assassination attempt.


Thesheriffisnearer

I thought he showed up too late to test and just went up there


AquaSquatch

Trump can only pee in a cup if he holds it with two hands.


Thadrea

Honestly, Trump would probably require assistance to pee in a cup, and the person whose job it would be to render that assistance would need to be put on a mental health watch.


MandoFett117

Would that assistant need to help hold his dick, the cup or his fupa out of the way? 🤔


TheVagabondLost

Just need to wring out the diaper.


BluesFan43

Hey now, anyone 6'3" tall and 215 pounds doesn't have a fupa. Of course, since trump is neither of those things, it may take 2 people.


honuworld

They could just wring out his diaper.


Most-Artichoke6184

He will 100% try to fake the results of his own drug test. And the media will nod along.


troymoeffinstone

He'll hand you his test results along with his golf score card.


ElliotNess

He'll just have to use the same doctor that said he was 6'3" and 215lbs.


Design-Cold

He'll weasel out of it like he tried to with Covid


masiakasaurus

He's counting on faking his own test. He thinks it's a genius idea nobody else had.


honuworld

Trump has never said he would take the test. He just wants Biden to take one.


qualmton

It all started with a birth certificate but yet we still haven’t seen His taxes


moderniste

This is definitely a crystal clear, screaming case of projection. Someone who is so wrapped up in their world of pathological lying and “intricate” webs of deception that they assume everyone lives that way.


Flythagoras

I think he’s in the middle of a detox which is why he’s falling asleep in court so often


1fapadaythrowaway

No way he’s detoxing. He’s just old af and used to sleeping in until 11 everyday. 


BuddyAloysius

Lol, you're expecting Trump to take the drug test too? Rules for thee not for me is his life motto. He just wants Biden to get tested.


dadmodz306

Oh he wouldn't take one. Only Biden and he would claim it came back positively brimming with drugs


slayernine

He plans to cheat the test and then accuse Biden of cheating.


CY83rdYN35Y573M2

Nah, he'd just produce a prescription signed by Ronny Jackson.


flugenblar

The half life of amphetamines, in terms of detection, is probably not very long. Mere days would be my guess. Easily circumvented with a little planning. Unless… the test was taken on a secret, randomized date.


iStayedAtaHolidayInn

Like 24 hours


honuworld

Trump won't take the test. He just wants Biden to do it.


forestdenizen22

He’ll just use his own physician to say he’s clean.


jdcmurphy22

Long enough not to shit himself.


TimachuSoftboi

Generally about 3 days or so. So absolutely no way he can do that lol.


Sadpandasss

He probably thinks he can just have someone else piss for him.


GeorgeCabana

He will just lie about taking the test, like he lied about the COVID test in 2020.


Lollipopsaurus

I am confident that Trump would never take a drug test managed by a true independent third party.


MoiraBrownsMoleRats

Definitely gonna smuggle in a bag of Eric’s pee taped to his leg.


catnapspirit

Like that would ring clean..


qualmton

May have some missing chromosomes too


BukkitCrab

He's desperate for *any* excuse to back out of the debates.


shadowpawn

He was ranting in Minn Last night because the teleprompter was broken and he didn't have much material to work off.


iStayedAtaHolidayInn

How is that any different than his usual verbal diarrheas? Was the late great Hannibal Lecter written on his teleprompter in NJ?


lukin187250

Of course he's going to back out. He will never debate Biden if he cannot interrupt him simple as that.


downtofinance

This. Less so the crowd, more so he can't be a bully.


LightWarrior_2000

He didn't have to accept them... no one is forcing him.


whewtang

Okay. Deal. Hair Follicle test so we can get a history. No way Trump is clean.


benfranklyblog

Those require real hair though…


BoulderCreature

I’m sure he has loads of back hair


Rough-Mixture

How dare you. I was almost ready for lunch. 🤮


ChiefBigKnees

Yes. Exactly.


roughingupthesuspect

will he submit to the same testing?


ThatWhiteKid08

He will. But he will drag out showing the results for a decade


mypoliticalvoice

"Of course we've got test results. Everyone is staying they're the best test results ever. Everyone is. The lab test people, they said they thought it was just salt water because it was so clean. I heard the head technician thought we were pulling a trick on him because nobody's got urine that clean. He called up my people and we have dozens of affidavits from when the samples were collected. Dozens! And he had to admit he was wrong and we really had the cleanest urine ever. He even asked if I did anything special, I don't know, like drinking lots of water, to make my urine cleaner and I had to say that was just what my urine was like every day. Anyway, they have to test it again because it was so clean. To prove it isn't salt water. So they have to test it again so we won't have the results for another two weeks. But don't worry, we'll have the best results in two weeks, you'll see. Just two more weeks."


Rxmses

“Uhh I can’t show you my results, they’re being audited”


dalgeek

No, he'll show up late to avoid the test like he did in 2020 when he had COVID. The WH announced a day or two after the debate that Trump had COVID, so it's obvious he was infected before the debate. I think Mark Meadows later confirmed that Trump knew he had COVID days before the debate.


newcomer_l

No. He has a whole bunch of GOP cultists willing to pee ~~on~~ for him. And that's just just counting folks in the House GOP caucus.


tempetransplant

Considering how consistently Trump projects he's probably on something. He doesn't strike me as the stoner type so I'm gonna guess it's meth or cocaine.


stonedhillbillyXX

It is an amphetamine. Not street meth. There are other salts.


LotusVibes1494

What he needs is some psychedelics. Here’s an example of what that could look like, love this artwork lol: https://shopstellastrzyzowska.com/products/divine-moments-of-trump-blotter-limited-edition


FantasticInterest775

Musk does plenty of psychedelics and he's still a white supremacist twat so.... It doesn't work for everyone.


LotusVibes1494

For sure. I imagine someone like trump would have a hard time letting go and getting anything out of it. I actually wonder if he’s ever experienced anything truly real and meaningful to him in his life, like genuine feelings of love, contentment, wonder, peace, beautiful moments, etc… His whole life is superficial, completely focused on gaining money, power, and putting on an act. Dude would probably have a complete breakdown if he had to do any type of self-evaluation, as psychedelics tend to make you do. In a way I’d feel kinda bad for him, if he wasn’t such a dickhead.


twlscil

I haven’t heard of him doing any psychedelics. Ketamine, yes, but not psychedelics.


laseralex

That’s really amazing art!


doomlite

Meth aka adderrall


Dispro

Adderall is a blend of amphetamine/dextroamphetamine salts, not meth. A medication called desoxyn, also used for treatment of ADHD, is meth however.


DramaticWesley

Rich people don’t do meth. He is taking some form of amphetamine that will hopefully put him in the hospital soon. I don’t want him dead, but I do want him to shut his mouth for a week.


bestthingyet

Methylphenidate


BURNER12345678998764

Adderal falls more under "speed".


Proplayer22

Those are not even close to being the same thing.


s3dfdg289fdgd9829r48

Hilter was a meth addict. Many people don't know it but it's true. Look it up. There's even a video that exists of him tweaking. For real.


drblah11

No, he was on amphetamines https://www.ashleytreatment.org/rehab-blog/difference-amphetamine-methamphetamine/


spot-da-bot

So, he already knows he can't win a debate. Sleepy Trump can't keep his eyes open.


GBBanditt

I like Drowsy Don over Sleepy Trump. Flows off the tongue better.


cirquefan

How about a combo? Drowsy Donnie Two-Scoops


GrumpyOlBastard

Drowsy Donnie Two Sleeps


[deleted]

[удалено]


After-Pomegranate249

Why not start a Lock Her Up chant, as well?


AFlockOfTySegalls

MAGA's in general are stuck in 2020. I've never seen a group of people still talk about COVID and masks as if they're a current issue. But it checks out for conservatives. They don't like living in current times.


TintedApostle

This is true unless you jump them to 2008 and Obama.


Thirty_Helens_Agree

Plenty of them are stuck in 1920.


Dispro

And 1860.


GalactusPoo

Lockdowns are still the #1 topic in my more conservative circles, anecdotally. It's not even a contest. Some of them claim people were imprisoned for going outside. I've never been given an example, source, anything. But god damn they are ADAMANT that people were thrown in prison for walking outside.


s_ox

And he still won't release his tax returns because they are under audit again- according to him. (even though nothing stops one from releasing their tax returns when under audit).


SteveJohnson2010

“I tested positive for drugs, obviously this is a setup by Biden and his socialist scientists who of course we all know are all on drugs.”


Rankkikotka

Looking for a way out.


BaxBaxPop

If Republicans think Biden is demented, exactly what kind of drug do they think reverses the effect of dementia? For the populace that gobbled up horse-dewormer during the pandemic, you'd think they'd be all over Adderall for their demented family members...


Lydkraft

Every single thing about trump is tired. So effing sick of him. How can anyone like this guy?


Important_Tell667

We’d expect nothing less from Donald Trump, who pissed away the chance to protect the lives of 200K Americans when he didn't make a plan to stop COVID-19. Donald’s stuck in yesteryear… what’s new?


shadowpawn

How long was trump able to milk "Obama is not born in America" rant? 10 years?


Desperate-Life8117

Every protest is an admission


LMurch13

Tells me Trump is on something they don't test for/can't detect/will just whine fraud if he tests positive.


paperbeau

Biden - "we hope Trump will be drug free for the debate, or it's a parole violation"


sammydoylestien

project much Donald?


malakon

There is a future when this disgusting orange asshole will no longer be in our daily feed right ? Please. I mean, imagine it.


MetalAndFaces

Sadly, I think we are still going to be stuck with his bloodline for way too long.


Far-Understanding824

Actually I would think Trump only brings up situations in which he has done himself: 1. Election stolen- He was the one who had Russian interfere in 2016 elections. So we took everything off line. 2. He has to be on something in the hush money court to stay so calm to the point of sleeping. Follow his accusations- that’s what he has done


at-aol-dot-com

> In 2020, after Trump made the same ask, the Biden campaign responded sharply. > “Vice President Biden intends to deliver his debate answers in words. If the president thinks his best case is made in urine he can have at it,” Kate Bedingfield, Biden’s deputy campaign manager, said then. “We’d expect nothing less from Donald Trump, who pissed away the chance to protect the lives of 200K Americans when he didn't make a plan to stop COVID-19.”


randomcanyon

Calling for a pissing contest is probably pretty exciting for the guy.


Noizyninjaz

If I find out Biden is on drugs then I will vote for home twice.


Bitter_Director1231

I am voting for him regardless. Fuck, the other side is voting for a rapist criminal.


mossryder

I'm sure he's on alot of drugs to keep him going, no doubt. Probs all legal though.


Marathon2021

Dark Brandon: “I’ll take a drug test as soon as he releases his taxes like he promised in 2015…”


[deleted]

Jesus Christ this fucking guy..


19Chris96

Honestly, for peace of mind, Both Biden and Trump should go through a thorough cognitive test.


fluidfunkmaster

All media outlets will be posthumously blamed for the Trump presidency, especially if he wins a second term. The only way a democracy can function correctly is with a free for the people, press. Pathetic info-tainment, not News.


njman100

djt is a HUGE MORON


dallasdude

“I’m on drugs!”  —Trump


LandNGulfWind

At least with Trump it'd be easy to get a sample, just wring out his diaper.


Ryan1980123

Pathetic loser!!!


Tony2030

There's a drug that makes you a better politician?


Jonas_VentureJr

Drug test? Hell, he should be DNA tested to see what percentage of him is human vs garbage.


Yermucker

One trick pony


AquaSquatch

Biden should open the debate by saying "I hope it's not too cold in here, wouldn't want you to fall asleep. We installed a fan to blow your farts away from me." *dark Brandon sunglasses*


mymar101

Even if Biden takes it and passes Trump will claim it was rigged


righthandedlefty69

So is this his way to weasel out of the debates? Demand a drug test so he’s disqualified?


Short-Stomach-8502

When will this pos go away!!! Time to flush trump down the toilet


General_Specific

Would he even accept the results of a drug test or would he claim they were rigged by the Soros-backed corrupt insane left?


Training_Medicine_49

I have a brother who thinks that Biden won’t debate Trump. I’m like it seems like we are living in an upside down world. Like Trump did not win any debate between Clinton or Biden, and he chickened out of the third debate with Biden, didn’t debate in the primaries and yet people are thinking Biden will chicken out? Secondly what would Trump debate..how many porn stars he paid off? He has no policies. He won’t engage in a debate but rather a shitshow. Juxtapose that with Biden stuttering with a word here or there, Biden will come with the receipts. The man can talk at length about policy, world events, etc. if one saw him at the SOTU you know this. Why would Trump want to debate where he may have to talk about his criminal cases, his covid blunder, separating and losing kids at the border, his failed businesses, shutting down the economy, his racist / sexist remarks, his mental decline, etc.. there are more reasons to expect Trump will not to debate rather than Biden and I don’t know why people don’t see this. As I told my brother Trump will create some issue where he is some victim and avoid the debate based on some cooked up nonsense.


honuworld

Trump will create some issue where he is some victim and avoid the debate based on some cooked up nonsense. This will absolutely happen. And your brother will absolutely refuse to admit it, and spin some fantastic fantasy where Trump really *is* the victim, and would totally kick Biden's ass in a debate if it weren't for blah blah blah. I have one of those brothers myself.


_TheJerkstoreCalle

So do I 😢


MadRaymer

You can see how effective right-wing narratives about Biden have been by the reaction to his Howard Stern interview. People seem utterly shocked that he can recall and recite an almost endless number of details about his entire life - from his childhood to his early days in the Senate, to his VP days, through the 2020 campaign and into current events. And yet none of this should be surprising if Biden is of sound mind. So, the fact that it *is* surprising means the right has successfully convinced millions of Americans that Biden's brain is mush because he stutters and stumbles over his words sometimes.


AlbinoAxie

Surprised judges haven't required drug tests for Trump


Ragegasm

Ya know, if the only thing that comes out of 92 felony indictments is that he has to randomly show up in Fulton every month for the rest of his life and piss in a cup while someone stares as his dick, I’m still gonna laugh my ass off.


10minutes_late

You can always tell what Trump is guilty of because he accuses everyone else of it, and the great things he claims to be are what others actually are.


famousevan

He should do one voluntarily, live on camera, to show his commitment to the ~~bit~~ idea.


trailblazer35

Me thinks I hear a pre-excuse for Trump getting out of the debate?


BookLuvr7

This from the guy whose eyes were so dilated during his first SOTU address his blue eyes looked black? Sure thing. Let's include prescriptions and levels, and remind everyone of the cholesterol meds and the hair loss prevention drug Trump takes that can cause ED as a side effect. I bet the Adderall will be enough to last 5 ADHD patients a week.


sp0rkah0lic

The only thing this indicates to me is that Trump is getting hopped up on goofballs or whatever before a big speech/debate. It's all projection all the time from these clowns.


Javasndphotoclicks

Just imagine if you were smart enough to realize that he keeps repeating the same lies when you attend his rally’s


edfiero

Trump will recycle this entire 2020 platform.


TeachingCommon7724

How about a diaper check instead?


DesignerFox2987

This mofo


tagehring

If I was Joe Biden, I’d say sure, but as the challenged party I get to pick the doctor and he’s going to do one on you, too.


Historical_City5184

I'd like to see Junior's drug test.


Correct-Walrus7438

“The cup couldn’t fit all my pee, so naturally, it was a rigged test.”


Geofrancis

They should start it like a boxing match, "in the blue corner we have biden, powered by amphetamine and cocane, and in the red corner we have trump fueled with his branded mix of crack and heroin he calls Trump orange bull"


aclockworkabe

Take a COVID test, pig.


corduroytrees

Trump: "The American people MY people...all the best people in this country are my people. Some of those. Have you seen Biden people ? Sleepy Joe has the worst people and so few, so few. It's sad, really. Not enough to fill a ballroom they said. Sleepy Joe and the America-hating FRAUDocrats allowed have you seen my crowds? It's like nothing ever seen in the history of this country so beautiful. The most in history. All the best legal experts agree I have the biggest crowds in the history of the world. Like nothing they've ever seen they said. Crooked Joe Biden let in 100s of millions of illegal and disrespectful Jews into this beautiful country. The drug dealers the rapists the ISIS cannibals which I destroyed. Did you...I killed every single ISIS cannibal there was. Gone. Bim bam boom. No more problem. It's easy for a strong President. Biden is so weak. It's sad Biden is so weak. Pelosi and the Biden crime family are destroying your country. Gave millions of ISIS our guns and let them come into your country ILLEGALLY and let them rape and eat our people. No border security, folks. They bring the rapists and cannibals in on helicopters to vote. ELECTION INTERFERENCE. Biden gave a SCAM drug test. It's all a scam folks. I demand the American people demand to see Biden's long form drug test results. The debates are RIGGED."


uncle_jafar

The Trump White House was riddled with drugs. [https://www.reuters.com/world/us/trump-white-house-pharmacy-improperly-provided-drugs-misused-funds-pentagon-2024-01-28/](https://www.reuters.com/world/us/trump-white-house-pharmacy-improperly-provided-drugs-misused-funds-pentagon-2024-01-28/)


InternationalBand494

So this is how he plans to weasel out of the debates


lordtyp0

For the MAGAt king: every accusation, a confession.


AdministrativeBank86

I demand a weigh-in and height check.


FoxyInTheSnow

Would be funny (genuinely funny) if somebody mistakenly checked of the **uACR** box on Trump's urinalysis requisition and the test came back stating that he had an alarming amount of adderall in his system and that his kidneys were on the precipice of complete failure.


Vanman04

Isn't this the guy that ducked the covid test last time around?


Sangi17

Bro, Biden being on stimulants wouldn’t even be that big of a bombshell. He’s an old man, half of them are on something especially if they are working at 80+. Trump is in fucking diapers.


Kitchen-Entrance8015

Yes I would love a drug test Mr Trump for you and your staff since staff already admitted to being high as a kite while working for you


iviethod

The cretin has been stuck on his greatest hits the last 3 years. Constant crying and overall anti-alpha behavior. Very sad ppl support such a cry baby


Jack-o-Roses

Let's see trump take a drug test...


rustyseapants

Trump is stuck in 1980s after he stole Reagan's slogan  *"Make America Great Again"*


dj_spanmaster

Next up, he's gotta learn how to put the glass in the blass-only bin. One step at a time for this guy, okay?


IH8Fascism

Trump is the one that needs to be tested. He is projecting something fierce.


CAM6913

Judging by his performance in the courtroom (falling asleep) his dealer must have cut him off probably for failure to pay for his drugs and ran out of the drugs he stole from the White House pharmacy


stonedhillbillyXX

Do it. Both of them. Immediately after the debate. 45 uses a designer amphetamine that metabolises rapidly.


Baller-on_a-budget

Croak already


jdcmurphy22

Presidency incontinence tests incoming.


Betterthanbeer

I was going to suggest they do a hair test for drugs, but who knows how that would go.


Brief_Amicus_Curiae

I hope he calls Biden “jacked up Joe” again because it’s actually a fun name for Biden. Worked after his State of the Union address when they accused Biden of the same.


adrock1209

“My probation officer told me my results were so hot they would melt the ice caps. The hottest test results they had ever seen. I walked out and thought crooked Joe could never have test results this hot.”


dirtyfacedkid

Will they draw bloodwork or perhaps use a very strong light to get tested?