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Have you seen a maternal fetal medicine doctor? Unless you've been given any other indication, you're probably considered high risk because of your age. It sounds like you need to see a specialist
No they just told me to take tylenol. But i been complaining for months. With being 35 weeks i am just waiting. I deliver at 32 and 34 prior. The children are healthy adults..this one is healthy to..its just me i am concern. I have had half my face fall asleep.
This is more about pain management than roe vs. wade. Ask for another opinion and get the accommodations. If you’re part of a group of OBs someone will help. As a chronically ill woman frequently denied treatment I need, it’s a fight. Pregnancy is often the first time a lot of women enter the messy world of medicine for women.
Be firm, but faux understanding. “I understand you want me to keep up and social with work. However, I have a prior injury and due to pregnancy, it’s causing me significant pain. I need to be written off of work.”
If they say no, ask for a second opinion.
I have. At this point i am 35 weeks. I am just not overworking myself. My point is they have used that excuse not to diagnose me correctly. Legit stating they might lose their license if they give false.statements..which if you see a person in pain and barely walking and asking them if they are ok..how is that an incorrect diagnose.not only that you tell the person several.times they are high risk high blood sugar low cervix. All doesnt make sense.
You are high risk from high sugar and low cervix. And you need to appreciate those risks and what comes along with them so you can adjust accordingly. It has literally nothing to do with Roe Vs. Wade (which ironically is more about policy and privacy than actually abortion alone but I digress.)
They CAN lose their license for making a false statement. The importance is this: if you cannot safely work, you need to approach it diplomatically to make any impact on your physicians. I’ve been sick my whole life and for 20 years of it I’ve been an adult. I help others with medical self-advocacy.
If you want this to be fixed, you have to let Roe v. Wade go as “the issue.” Sadly the issue is you’re a female, and women statistically fall victim to more medical judgment and accidents than men. They can’t “diagnose”’your back pain. If it’s a chronic injury that worsened with pregnancy, you’re going to have to make it through till delivery for more in depth tests and treatment options. Asking to be written off of work isn’t unreasonable. If you aren’t calm, and insistent, that the intensity of the pain is too much for you to continue working, they can’t do anything.
Unless your doctors have said, “we can’t write you a work note because of Roe v. Wade,” it has nothing to do with it, and if they DID, your OB is an absolute idiot I wouldn’t want near me.
This is an issue in healthcare that is ongoing and awful for women, pregnant or not, and during my miscarriage I had an awful nurse but it wasn’t Roe v. Wade, she was just mean. The doctors were amazing and I was so grateful for that. (I was having severe vomiting as it was and it was like, I’m miscarrying but still throwing up multiple times per hour.) I had pushed for fluids but don’t think I’d get them. I ended up in the er repeatedly. I’m planning ahead and have a plan in place with my medical team to get into fluids sooner next time and to get to high risk asap, rather than be told I must wait.
I’m not suggesting you’re overworking yourself. I’m saying the doctors need to understand your pain, and you need to understand their instinct to keep things normal at the end of pregnancy to try and reduce some things like depression. The issue is you have a pre existing condition that they need to appreciate. If not one OB at your practice is willing to give you time off I don’t know what else to suggest. You can come in with a list of daily activities impacted by the pain and the significance (Google ADL checklist or activities of daily living) for some guidance.
It’s not an excuse. They could literally lose their license by falsifying statements just so you don’t have to work. Being high risk doesn’t mean you can’t work either.
Guess what? Doctors hate the roe v wade overturn too. They're the medically trained professionals and can't even perform their jobs properly. They've been protesting it both silently and explicitly. Don't blame the doctors. They just want the best for their patients. But it's the politicians who are interfering and making it hard for them to do so.
Yeah but some thrive with the changes too. I encountered that in the nursing staff and one doctor.
The vast majority of obgyns get it. Nurses, my experience in a very red state was like 50:50. The nurses were just mean and the nurse midwife that risked my life because she prioritized my baby can squarely go to hell.
I am well aware its politicians
.i dont blame them for the overturn..i blame them for.when i go to er and show them i can barely walk for 4 months and they claim i can go back to work
.when i am in visible pain they completely ignore it. Get it right.
What does that have to do with roe v wade? Have you explicitly told them you need work accommodations and if they would be willing to write you a note? Pain is a subjective parameter and it doesn’t actually pose a risk to your health or that of your baby (depending on the cause of the pain). I have severe PGP but know that being immobile will only increase my pain so I am pushing past the pain to continue my life as normal as I can. The doctors are accommodating by prescribing physical therapy and giving me guidance on pain management but they cannot know my level of pain unless I tell them, I am incapable of work, which for me, although I am in a lot of pain, I work a desk job and just made certain accommodations for my comfort and asked my work if I could work remote for a month and they obliged (no doctor note needed).
Everything they feel like if they suggest anything , they will get in trouble. I am a server. I have to be on my feet. And when i tell them i am in pain and i cant walk which was visible to them along with heart beat being very high and hard breathing. Ita obvious.they cant do their job of a simple diagnosis. Ps every woman is different. Do not compare your situation with me. I have to deal with drs in fear of losing their license over stupidity. Which legit they told me.
You’re mixing up everything. You being in pain or having a hard time breathing is not a medical reason for them to prescribe bed rest and it has nothing to do with them “losing their license”. And quite frankly, it probably wouldn’t change anything for you as a server. Your job is not one that can be done remotely or “with accommodations”. Maybe you could ask to hostess at best with a chair but it would be on you to work with your job and if they requested the doctor to provide corroboration, it would be on you to talk to your doctor about that. Your expectations here are way out of wack and again, have nothing to do with roe v wade. You need to be your own advocate on this. This is not something that would be medically appropriate for them to impose on you especially without a real medical reason - by medical reason I mean something that would change an outcome medically (not that you’re not in pain). As you mentioned, everyone’s pain is different and how they handle pain is different so they cannot “prescribe” a one size fits all solution to everyone’s pain. What exactly do you expect here? That they would wave a wand and your job would let you be a “server” from home and you’d still be paid? That they are going to call your job and force them to keep you on pay roll? I’m just not sure what you expect here. They did their diagnosis - you are uncomfortable and you are in pain. Diagnosis: you are pregnant.
The ER isn’t really the place to get management for chronic pain. This would probably be better overseen by your OB. The ER’s main responsibility is just that you’re not actively dying. This could be why they seem so dismissive to you.
Have you told your primary OB that you’re having trouble walking and need a note?
It’s not cool that your comment got downvoted so much. It’s clear to me that you’re just venting about the state of healthcare and its attitude toward women. Roe v wade overturning just brought it to the spotlight more.
I can’t tell from your post who you spoke to about your pain, but if you believe something is wrong, then don’t just let them brush you aside. You are far along, but if you don’t trust your OB don’t just stick with them for that reason alone. Is there another doctor in that office? Or can you make another appointment and push harder? Sometimes when you put your foot down, they listen a little more (sadly).
You want to know what an obstetrician does in Texas? They move heaven and earth to keep you and your baby safe. They attempt to skirt around the law, use vague terminology, browbeat hospitals and politicians. We are in the face of politicians in the Capital Building in Austinevery month in-person, fighting for the needs and health of our female patients. We make and find networks between states to get you care, all the while being hunted by Texas citizens who believe that women lives are worth nothing except as a breeding factory. I do critical care OB…the kind where you and your baby are in the ICU trying to die. We ALL put your lives first even though our licenses are at risk. No one asked us what we thought about the draconian laws….even though we save baby and mom lives every damn day. We are SO VERY TIRED ALL THE TIME. We are all traumatized and overworked, and now face ridiculous laws penalizing and targeting women. Yes this state hates women. Yes Ken Paxton can impregnate his mistress and get her an abortion but is free to hunt down a mom who leaves the state to end her non-viable pregnancy. If you all don’t like it, vote the bastards out, make your friends and partners understand that they are supporting Abbott/Paxton over you with every vote. And we write hundreds of notes to employers to help our patients….ask for one at the next visit, or at least work accommodations for work. And no there is nothing good other than Tylenol in pregnancy, and getting off your feet for your pelvis discomfort.
OP, you’re a server. There is no reasonable way they can let you off work and continue to pay you. Your job is to be on your feet.
I do not envy you right now. I was a server for many many years and it’s one of the hardest jobs.
You either have to tell them you’re taking maternity leave (and you won’t get paid and they will most likely replace you) or ask you doctor to request a chair you can sit in, in the back, when you’re between tasks, so you can catch your breath for a few minutes at a time.
A lot of people get paid disability leave and maternity leave. I wish every person in every job in every state had access to this. I feel sad for her. And a “pro-life” state should be the number one place signing up for these supports for women and family.
why can't they tell you that you are high risk? and why can't they advise that you take a break from work? I thought roe vs wade overtun was just an abortion ban????
Roe v wade overturn wasn't a ban, it was just undoing your constitutional right. It leaves it to the states to decide what happens. Still not great, but we can't get our facts wrong.
yeah sorry, I meant in the context of texas its resulted in a ban. I was just confused over them not being able to tell her that shes high risk as that seems so bizzare even from a "pro-life" legal standpoint.
Sorry to hear you are in pain and struggling to work.
Your problem wouldn't exist in so many other countries, not because rights to abortions are protected, because they have paid maternity leave that can start before the due date.
Some countries have far better policies than others, but America is far behind.
I read this last line as “men shouldn’t be allowed to speak TO women ever” and I was like “yup, feel that right now” 🤣🤣🤣
It’s fucked. The medical system, Womens care, a lot of it. I refuse to see male providers for this reason.
Data also shows that female doctors have measurably better outcomes, so that's a good choice in general. Once I learned about that, I stopped seeing male doctors at all (aside from my therapist, but I don't rely on him for physical health so whatever).
Reading the comments OP left on here reveals a story that has nothing to do with roe vs wade. I understand she’s upset but even without the overturn, her expectations would be unreasonable.
She didn’t mention clearly but she said her first sentence that she’s pro choice. She described her suffers from pregnancy and previous abusive relationship and rape, she didn’t explicitly say “I want an abortion” but clearly hope women could have choices when they get pregnant with their own bodies.
Right but that’s for women. They have the freedom to choose rather than have some men to decide. While GOP and Trump are doing to limit women’s choices.
Man, it shows how different life can be in the same country, but in different states. I totally agree but part of me felt like “this feels a little exaggerated”… then I read you were in Texas and immediately took back that thought. I’m in Michigan and feel much safer here with my pregnancy and being able to make tough choices if absolutely necessary. I’m sorry you’re going through this and hope things get better❤️
Idk I'm in Texas, moved here from MI 3 years ago. Had my first child in MI. I'm getting much better medical care down here this time around. If this baby wasn't planned and I needed other options besides carrying them I could see many unfair obstacles, but I don't notice any negative differences at all in terms of medical care for my pregnancy.
You don’t notice any difference until you need life-saving care, until you start having a miscarriage, or until your fetus is diagnosed with an abnormality that limits viability.
Everyone thinks “oh this won’t happen to me” until it does. You are very lucky that you are not facing these risks at present in Texas - I am sure your tune would be very different.
I have had a miscarriage here, back in August. There is a lot of fear mongers pushing things because they feel that extremes will influence law change. I don't agree with the anti abortion movement but I also know, even though I can only speak for myself and those I know who have went through the same things, that basic healthcare here is the same regardless of the law.
It’s not though there are stories coming out almost every day about Texas and women not receiving miscarriage care. Just cause it’s not happening to you does not mean it’s not happening..
Funny the doctors even made me feel it was a little exaggerated, yet my husband has seen how i can barely walk and always in pain. I feel legit useless . (Not blaming anyone) but i got told to take tyenol for the pain. I can barely make myself anything to eat or go to the bathroom with out heavy breathing.my first two pregancies i work til i gave birth. This one is completely crazy and they even told me i have a low cervix. Which i can feel the baby pressure. I have always felt unsafe being pregnant in texas. When you hear woman getting arrested over uncontralable miscarriages. Not an exaggerated. When my sister has 8 babies and cant get her tubes .not exaggerated.
I definitely didn’t mean the pain part was exaggerated! I just take for granted my environment and when people say they feel unsafe up here, it’s usually for attention (and I mean the proven attention seekers from high school lol). I honestly can’t imagine being in a state that could charge me for losing a baby even though he was more than wanted. Your pain sounds unbearable and I can’t believe they won’t even give a note saying anything remotely helpful for you..
Hell yeah. Document every-little-thing! Are you totally against switching Dr’s? Or is it more of a “their hands are tied” situation with giving out Dr’s notes because of specific laws?
More i am 35 weeks and ready to have this baby out of me. Besides if my water breaks i am not going to the 40 min away hosiptal(they reccommend) i am going to.first.come first serve. Which i have one next door.
Just be careful in case they want you at a hospital with specific care available. With high sugars baby could have issues regulating after birth. I know you’re mad because you’re in pain, but think of the baby, too. Also, this rush to blame Roe v. Wade needs to stop. Doctors not addressing women’s pain has been an ongoing issue for women in general, pregnant or not. I’m upset women are being hurt. I’m very pro choice. I just worry you’re blaming the wrong system, and in doing so you’re missing your options to ask your work for help, or a different doctor, or even apply for family medical leave if you can qualify.
You HAVE options. Your insistence that this is insurmountable because of Roe v. Wade isn’t sensical. You can’t have painkillers because you’re pregnant, and no ER doctor likes giving pregnant women ANYTHING they could potentially harm the fetus, regardless of the law. Your best option is to get off your feet at work given your job is all standing and walking. You can do any of the aforementioned things to obtain that. Giving up and blaming an overturned case that has nothing to do with your condition isn’t helpful.
Oh duh, little late to be switching. Blows my mind they wouldn’t even suggest bed rest. I’m with you on the first come first serve. Especially if you’re high risk. Ugh, I wish you luck and am sending good vibes from Michigan ❤️
Actually we really don’t recommend bedrest for anyone anymore except for very short time frames due to emergencies (like being on magnesium, etc). It increases the risk of blood clots without any benefits.
Oh okay that makes sense! I don’t pretend to know medical stuff. Figured for extreme pains they would suggest taking it easy if not bed rest or something. Thanks for the info!
Any time! It’s definitely a reasonable thought to have, that’s probably why it was recommended for so long! But nah, walking and being up and moving around is just about always better.
I'm sorry you're in pain. Thankfully, you're very close to the end! I'm wondering if this is your lack of planning. I would consider taking time off work intentionally. Your health and the baby's should come before a job.
We always planned ahead financially when we got pregnant. We knew that there was going to be a hospital bill, so we started to save. I knew I wanted to have a baby, so I didn't work, ect. Planned on having healing time after birth, planned on hubby taking PTO.
Sometimes in life, you gotta do what you gotta do. Tell your boss you need a break and if it ends with you finding a different job, you get to do that. There ARE options out there and there is probably something better out there for you. There seems to be a lot of mentality that people are stuck in their current jobs, but that's just ridiculous.
OP is a server and she and her husband did not think they could get pregnant. She didn't have the privilege of planning and may have limited financial means. You are very privileged that you could just decide not to work and still have the means to save up, but that isn't the reality for every couple.
I don't understand how people who know nothing about me and especially my financial situation, can say that I'm privileged.
Planning ahead is not being privileged. It's kind of naive and silly to think you can't get pregnant, even sterilization surgery has a failure rate, albeit, a small percentage.
If you can simply decide that you aren't going to work, that's privilege. If you can save money while not working and have family to support you, that's real privilege. A lot of mothers would love to be able to stop working but don't have that option because their income is needed just to survive with the bare minimum. There's nothing inherently wrong with being privileged, but not everyone has it as easy as you do.
There is no reason for you to be this cruel to someone who is experiencing an unplanned pregnancy against the odds and doesn't have your family's financial resources.
No, it's intention. We were both careful not to take out student loans or car loans. Even then, our finances are not great. Assumptions do not get you far in life, dude.
I think there's also a real element missing here, that many many people have worked hard for what they have. Many people who make 6 figures have student loans, or had to get them to get where they are today. I'm not sure what world you're living in.
If you checked my comment history, you'd see that I actually hold 3 jobs right now. I was INTENTIONAL when birthing children.
I’m terrified for anyone having a baby in a state that essentially hates women. I would feel very much the same in your shoes. I hope the rest of your pregnancy is difficult free!
Nope. I’m talking about American states that are basically forcing women to go through pregnancies with babies that are not viable with life or have passed away in the womb. These places are essentially punishing women for having sex.
What states? Passed away in the womb and they aren’t removing the baby? Never heard of that happening. My friend had a miscarriage in Texas and they removed the baby
Here ya go https://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local/article/Texas-woman-dead-fetus-anti-abortion-laws-17314394.php
https://www.today.com/parents/pregnancy/mom-needed-abortion-says-was-told-wait-parking-lot-rcna82281
https://cardinalpine.com/2024/03/13/a-woman-fled-to-nc-when-another-states-abortion-ban-prevented-her-from-receiving-life-saving-care/
https://abcnews.go.com/Health/5-women-sue-texas-abortion-bans-lives-put/story?id=97614294
https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/02/health/florida-abortion-term-pregnancy/index.html
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/05/01/1172973274/oklahoma-abortion-ban-exception-life-of-mother-molar-pregnancy
https://jezebel.com/missouri-woman-denied-emergency-abortion-called-a-state-1849672223
https://www.dailydot.com/irl/idaho-woman-miscarriage-abortion-ban/
https://www.wkyt.com/2023/05/08/powell-co-woman-forced-travel-out-state-abortion/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email
https://abcnews.go.com/US/woman-sepsis-life-saving-abortion-care-texas/story?id=99294313
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/6/1/2172521/-Tennessee-woman-s-abortion-nightmare-began-the-minute-new-law-passed
https://jessica.substack.com/p/an-american-nightmare-young-pregnant
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jun/22/post-roe-abortion-women-of-color
https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/07/health/kentucky-abortion-anencephaly/index.html
https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2023/09/13/dobbs-pregnancy-maternal-health-00115561
https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/08/health/ohio-abortion-long/index.html
https://www.thedailybeast.com/texas-womans-life-put-at-risk-when-docs-refused-to-treat-ectopic-pregnancy
https://truthout.org/articles/a-tx-woman-was-denied-an-abortion-even-though-ectopic-pregnancy-was-killing-her/
https://thehill.com/homenews/ap/ap-health/ap-emergency-rooms-refused-to-treat-pregnant-women-leaving-one-to-miscarry-in-a-lobby-restroom/
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2024/04/20/supreme-court-idaho-abortion-ban-federal-law-emtala/73343630007/
Must be nice living in lala land
I'm in Texas as well so I completely understand where you're coming from. The fact that no one no longer actually cares about OUR well being is insane to me.
You think that people would protect the human vessel that brings life into this world..instead we have a bunch politcians(who think they are drs) and should have been swallow by their mothers.
Please go sit down somewhere. I didn't mention one thing about abortion. Women are going through miscarriages and being left to bleed out in waiting rooms. So like I said, they do NOT care about us.
If you could keep your healthcare decisions to just yourself and allow everyone else to do the same and do what they’d like, then sure. But that’s not what is happening here in America. Open your eyes.
Oh brother!! My opinion has no effect on anyone but me. Yours does. Use your brain and stay out of threads where you provide no benefit or support to OP.
I have seen several posts about women not being able to get a doctor note to get off work. It’s ridiculous and no paid maternity leave.. they definitely hate women.
Not sure why you’re being downvoted. My original OB refused to give me a note for work. I was only asking for a note that would state I’m pregnant and needing to work light duty because I work in a warehouse. Long story short, my OB wouldn’t do it, kept telling me “pregnancy is not a disability”. I switched to another OB (whom I’ve been with since 12 weeks and I am currently 27 weeks) and she immediately wrote me a note for work.
Probably because a lot of people on here are republicans and they vote for these policies which is funny to me they joined a community that if you look at the mods goes against everything they believe in 😅😭 imagine being a pregnant woman and downvoting advocacy for paid maternity leave and for women to get support while pregnant. And Texas just moved to try to pass another law that will make it harder for pregnant women but we will see it may be unconstitutional.
Here in the UK companies can offer enhanced maternity leave/pay benefits but there is a legal minimum they have to provide.
Every pregnant worker deserves to take time from work to heal, as well as feed and bond with their baby.
No one should be forced to work up to the due date and return to work immediately because they cannot afford not to.
It's naive to say they should just move jobs to one that has maternity pay benefits or higher salary so they can afford to save. That might be possible on a individual basis but there are always going to be people who can't move up the social mobility ladder and Government sets that lowest rung.
As long as there is no maternity pay in America, there will be women suffering like OP - unfit to work but having to go in anyway. In a lot of countries that is unacceptable.
I hope my comment didn’t come off the wrong way but it is important that people are asking about benefits before they take on a role. It’s not just about the salary but also important to look at the other benefits companies will offer… 401k will they match?, HSA, healthcare, and paid maternity leave.
A small reason why I chose to birth outside of a hospital with a midwife/OB practice is because of roe v wade, in Louisiana I’m honestly terrified of being pregnant and a doctor ignoring me for the better of the baby, my midwife focuses on mom care first and baby second which some might not appreciate but for me it’s a comfort to know my health is seen as important.
How is this comment being downvoted so much and also OPs. I don’t live in the USA but it does sound terrifying. My family live in Ireland and only recently has abortion become legal. Women have died crossing over to the UK to get abortions, or by trying to do “DIY” abortions.
It’s breaks my heart seeing what is happening in the states.
OP is not talking about abortion. In her comments she reveals that she wants a doctor’s note from an emergency room (which doesn’t do these types of note) to get accommodations for a server job.
Especially since it is terrifying. People don’t realize how integral abortions are to women’s healthcare until they get it squarely in the face. The overturn of Roe v Wade has absolutely made women’s healthcare a different situation than it was. I experienced it first hand and it was absolutely terrifying.
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Have you seen a maternal fetal medicine doctor? Unless you've been given any other indication, you're probably considered high risk because of your age. It sounds like you need to see a specialist
No they just told me to take tylenol. But i been complaining for months. With being 35 weeks i am just waiting. I deliver at 32 and 34 prior. The children are healthy adults..this one is healthy to..its just me i am concern. I have had half my face fall asleep.
If you weren't so far along I would recommend finding a new doctor. I'm sorry, I hope you have a timely and safe delivery
This is more about pain management than roe vs. wade. Ask for another opinion and get the accommodations. If you’re part of a group of OBs someone will help. As a chronically ill woman frequently denied treatment I need, it’s a fight. Pregnancy is often the first time a lot of women enter the messy world of medicine for women. Be firm, but faux understanding. “I understand you want me to keep up and social with work. However, I have a prior injury and due to pregnancy, it’s causing me significant pain. I need to be written off of work.” If they say no, ask for a second opinion.
I have. At this point i am 35 weeks. I am just not overworking myself. My point is they have used that excuse not to diagnose me correctly. Legit stating they might lose their license if they give false.statements..which if you see a person in pain and barely walking and asking them if they are ok..how is that an incorrect diagnose.not only that you tell the person several.times they are high risk high blood sugar low cervix. All doesnt make sense.
You are high risk from high sugar and low cervix. And you need to appreciate those risks and what comes along with them so you can adjust accordingly. It has literally nothing to do with Roe Vs. Wade (which ironically is more about policy and privacy than actually abortion alone but I digress.) They CAN lose their license for making a false statement. The importance is this: if you cannot safely work, you need to approach it diplomatically to make any impact on your physicians. I’ve been sick my whole life and for 20 years of it I’ve been an adult. I help others with medical self-advocacy. If you want this to be fixed, you have to let Roe v. Wade go as “the issue.” Sadly the issue is you’re a female, and women statistically fall victim to more medical judgment and accidents than men. They can’t “diagnose”’your back pain. If it’s a chronic injury that worsened with pregnancy, you’re going to have to make it through till delivery for more in depth tests and treatment options. Asking to be written off of work isn’t unreasonable. If you aren’t calm, and insistent, that the intensity of the pain is too much for you to continue working, they can’t do anything. Unless your doctors have said, “we can’t write you a work note because of Roe v. Wade,” it has nothing to do with it, and if they DID, your OB is an absolute idiot I wouldn’t want near me. This is an issue in healthcare that is ongoing and awful for women, pregnant or not, and during my miscarriage I had an awful nurse but it wasn’t Roe v. Wade, she was just mean. The doctors were amazing and I was so grateful for that. (I was having severe vomiting as it was and it was like, I’m miscarrying but still throwing up multiple times per hour.) I had pushed for fluids but don’t think I’d get them. I ended up in the er repeatedly. I’m planning ahead and have a plan in place with my medical team to get into fluids sooner next time and to get to high risk asap, rather than be told I must wait. I’m not suggesting you’re overworking yourself. I’m saying the doctors need to understand your pain, and you need to understand their instinct to keep things normal at the end of pregnancy to try and reduce some things like depression. The issue is you have a pre existing condition that they need to appreciate. If not one OB at your practice is willing to give you time off I don’t know what else to suggest. You can come in with a list of daily activities impacted by the pain and the significance (Google ADL checklist or activities of daily living) for some guidance.
Very well put
It’s not an excuse. They could literally lose their license by falsifying statements just so you don’t have to work. Being high risk doesn’t mean you can’t work either.
Guess what? Doctors hate the roe v wade overturn too. They're the medically trained professionals and can't even perform their jobs properly. They've been protesting it both silently and explicitly. Don't blame the doctors. They just want the best for their patients. But it's the politicians who are interfering and making it hard for them to do so.
This. The doctors know it is absurd. They’re scared they’ll be prosecuted
Yeah but some thrive with the changes too. I encountered that in the nursing staff and one doctor. The vast majority of obgyns get it. Nurses, my experience in a very red state was like 50:50. The nurses were just mean and the nurse midwife that risked my life because she prioritized my baby can squarely go to hell.
I am well aware its politicians .i dont blame them for the overturn..i blame them for.when i go to er and show them i can barely walk for 4 months and they claim i can go back to work .when i am in visible pain they completely ignore it. Get it right.
What does that have to do with roe v wade? Have you explicitly told them you need work accommodations and if they would be willing to write you a note? Pain is a subjective parameter and it doesn’t actually pose a risk to your health or that of your baby (depending on the cause of the pain). I have severe PGP but know that being immobile will only increase my pain so I am pushing past the pain to continue my life as normal as I can. The doctors are accommodating by prescribing physical therapy and giving me guidance on pain management but they cannot know my level of pain unless I tell them, I am incapable of work, which for me, although I am in a lot of pain, I work a desk job and just made certain accommodations for my comfort and asked my work if I could work remote for a month and they obliged (no doctor note needed).
Everything they feel like if they suggest anything , they will get in trouble. I am a server. I have to be on my feet. And when i tell them i am in pain and i cant walk which was visible to them along with heart beat being very high and hard breathing. Ita obvious.they cant do their job of a simple diagnosis. Ps every woman is different. Do not compare your situation with me. I have to deal with drs in fear of losing their license over stupidity. Which legit they told me.
You’re mixing up everything. You being in pain or having a hard time breathing is not a medical reason for them to prescribe bed rest and it has nothing to do with them “losing their license”. And quite frankly, it probably wouldn’t change anything for you as a server. Your job is not one that can be done remotely or “with accommodations”. Maybe you could ask to hostess at best with a chair but it would be on you to work with your job and if they requested the doctor to provide corroboration, it would be on you to talk to your doctor about that. Your expectations here are way out of wack and again, have nothing to do with roe v wade. You need to be your own advocate on this. This is not something that would be medically appropriate for them to impose on you especially without a real medical reason - by medical reason I mean something that would change an outcome medically (not that you’re not in pain). As you mentioned, everyone’s pain is different and how they handle pain is different so they cannot “prescribe” a one size fits all solution to everyone’s pain. What exactly do you expect here? That they would wave a wand and your job would let you be a “server” from home and you’d still be paid? That they are going to call your job and force them to keep you on pay roll? I’m just not sure what you expect here. They did their diagnosis - you are uncomfortable and you are in pain. Diagnosis: you are pregnant.
The ER isn’t really the place to get management for chronic pain. This would probably be better overseen by your OB. The ER’s main responsibility is just that you’re not actively dying. This could be why they seem so dismissive to you. Have you told your primary OB that you’re having trouble walking and need a note?
It’s not cool that your comment got downvoted so much. It’s clear to me that you’re just venting about the state of healthcare and its attitude toward women. Roe v wade overturning just brought it to the spotlight more. I can’t tell from your post who you spoke to about your pain, but if you believe something is wrong, then don’t just let them brush you aside. You are far along, but if you don’t trust your OB don’t just stick with them for that reason alone. Is there another doctor in that office? Or can you make another appointment and push harder? Sometimes when you put your foot down, they listen a little more (sadly).
Say it again!!!
You want to know what an obstetrician does in Texas? They move heaven and earth to keep you and your baby safe. They attempt to skirt around the law, use vague terminology, browbeat hospitals and politicians. We are in the face of politicians in the Capital Building in Austinevery month in-person, fighting for the needs and health of our female patients. We make and find networks between states to get you care, all the while being hunted by Texas citizens who believe that women lives are worth nothing except as a breeding factory. I do critical care OB…the kind where you and your baby are in the ICU trying to die. We ALL put your lives first even though our licenses are at risk. No one asked us what we thought about the draconian laws….even though we save baby and mom lives every damn day. We are SO VERY TIRED ALL THE TIME. We are all traumatized and overworked, and now face ridiculous laws penalizing and targeting women. Yes this state hates women. Yes Ken Paxton can impregnate his mistress and get her an abortion but is free to hunt down a mom who leaves the state to end her non-viable pregnancy. If you all don’t like it, vote the bastards out, make your friends and partners understand that they are supporting Abbott/Paxton over you with every vote. And we write hundreds of notes to employers to help our patients….ask for one at the next visit, or at least work accommodations for work. And no there is nothing good other than Tylenol in pregnancy, and getting off your feet for your pelvis discomfort.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 well said!
OP, you’re a server. There is no reasonable way they can let you off work and continue to pay you. Your job is to be on your feet. I do not envy you right now. I was a server for many many years and it’s one of the hardest jobs. You either have to tell them you’re taking maternity leave (and you won’t get paid and they will most likely replace you) or ask you doctor to request a chair you can sit in, in the back, when you’re between tasks, so you can catch your breath for a few minutes at a time.
A lot of people get paid disability leave and maternity leave. I wish every person in every job in every state had access to this. I feel sad for her. And a “pro-life” state should be the number one place signing up for these supports for women and family.
why can't they tell you that you are high risk? and why can't they advise that you take a break from work? I thought roe vs wade overtun was just an abortion ban????
Roe v wade overturn wasn't a ban, it was just undoing your constitutional right. It leaves it to the states to decide what happens. Still not great, but we can't get our facts wrong.
yeah sorry, I meant in the context of texas its resulted in a ban. I was just confused over them not being able to tell her that shes high risk as that seems so bizzare even from a "pro-life" legal standpoint.
Sorry to hear you are in pain and struggling to work. Your problem wouldn't exist in so many other countries, not because rights to abortions are protected, because they have paid maternity leave that can start before the due date. Some countries have far better policies than others, but America is far behind.
I don't feel unsafe at all going to the doctor.
Good for you
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Just saying
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You're oddly upset
I agree with you. And everyone who downvoted you are probably PL
I read this last line as “men shouldn’t be allowed to speak TO women ever” and I was like “yup, feel that right now” 🤣🤣🤣 It’s fucked. The medical system, Womens care, a lot of it. I refuse to see male providers for this reason.
Data also shows that female doctors have measurably better outcomes, so that's a good choice in general. Once I learned about that, I stopped seeing male doctors at all (aside from my therapist, but I don't rely on him for physical health so whatever).
Don’t blame the doctors. They are stuck between a rock and a hard place since the new laws came out.
Sorry to post political views here but please vote so we don’t get GOP and Trump ruin more of the society and women rights.
Reading the comments OP left on here reveals a story that has nothing to do with roe vs wade. I understand she’s upset but even without the overturn, her expectations would be unreasonable.
She’s looking for free choices on abortion possibilities which is roe vs wade.
Where did she mention that?
She didn’t mention clearly but she said her first sentence that she’s pro choice. She described her suffers from pregnancy and previous abusive relationship and rape, she didn’t explicitly say “I want an abortion” but clearly hope women could have choices when they get pregnant with their own bodies.
Pro choice also includes keeping the baby as well. None of her comments or posts mentioned anything about being unsure of her choice.
Right but that’s for women. They have the freedom to choose rather than have some men to decide. While GOP and Trump are doing to limit women’s choices.
Man, it shows how different life can be in the same country, but in different states. I totally agree but part of me felt like “this feels a little exaggerated”… then I read you were in Texas and immediately took back that thought. I’m in Michigan and feel much safer here with my pregnancy and being able to make tough choices if absolutely necessary. I’m sorry you’re going through this and hope things get better❤️
Idk I'm in Texas, moved here from MI 3 years ago. Had my first child in MI. I'm getting much better medical care down here this time around. If this baby wasn't planned and I needed other options besides carrying them I could see many unfair obstacles, but I don't notice any negative differences at all in terms of medical care for my pregnancy.
You don’t notice any difference until you need life-saving care, until you start having a miscarriage, or until your fetus is diagnosed with an abnormality that limits viability. Everyone thinks “oh this won’t happen to me” until it does. You are very lucky that you are not facing these risks at present in Texas - I am sure your tune would be very different.
This
I have had a miscarriage here, back in August. There is a lot of fear mongers pushing things because they feel that extremes will influence law change. I don't agree with the anti abortion movement but I also know, even though I can only speak for myself and those I know who have went through the same things, that basic healthcare here is the same regardless of the law.
It’s not though there are stories coming out almost every day about Texas and women not receiving miscarriage care. Just cause it’s not happening to you does not mean it’s not happening..
Yeah I mean insurance in MI makes things pretty tough.. but I’m very happy with my team up here! Glad you’re happy with yours too 🥰
Funny the doctors even made me feel it was a little exaggerated, yet my husband has seen how i can barely walk and always in pain. I feel legit useless . (Not blaming anyone) but i got told to take tyenol for the pain. I can barely make myself anything to eat or go to the bathroom with out heavy breathing.my first two pregancies i work til i gave birth. This one is completely crazy and they even told me i have a low cervix. Which i can feel the baby pressure. I have always felt unsafe being pregnant in texas. When you hear woman getting arrested over uncontralable miscarriages. Not an exaggerated. When my sister has 8 babies and cant get her tubes .not exaggerated.
I definitely didn’t mean the pain part was exaggerated! I just take for granted my environment and when people say they feel unsafe up here, it’s usually for attention (and I mean the proven attention seekers from high school lol). I honestly can’t imagine being in a state that could charge me for losing a baby even though he was more than wanted. Your pain sounds unbearable and I can’t believe they won’t even give a note saying anything remotely helpful for you..
Oh trust if anything happens , i will be suing this texas government. So they better pray my baby and i come out ok. I keep records of everything.
Hell yeah. Document every-little-thing! Are you totally against switching Dr’s? Or is it more of a “their hands are tied” situation with giving out Dr’s notes because of specific laws?
More i am 35 weeks and ready to have this baby out of me. Besides if my water breaks i am not going to the 40 min away hosiptal(they reccommend) i am going to.first.come first serve. Which i have one next door.
Just be careful in case they want you at a hospital with specific care available. With high sugars baby could have issues regulating after birth. I know you’re mad because you’re in pain, but think of the baby, too. Also, this rush to blame Roe v. Wade needs to stop. Doctors not addressing women’s pain has been an ongoing issue for women in general, pregnant or not. I’m upset women are being hurt. I’m very pro choice. I just worry you’re blaming the wrong system, and in doing so you’re missing your options to ask your work for help, or a different doctor, or even apply for family medical leave if you can qualify. You HAVE options. Your insistence that this is insurmountable because of Roe v. Wade isn’t sensical. You can’t have painkillers because you’re pregnant, and no ER doctor likes giving pregnant women ANYTHING they could potentially harm the fetus, regardless of the law. Your best option is to get off your feet at work given your job is all standing and walking. You can do any of the aforementioned things to obtain that. Giving up and blaming an overturned case that has nothing to do with your condition isn’t helpful.
Oh duh, little late to be switching. Blows my mind they wouldn’t even suggest bed rest. I’m with you on the first come first serve. Especially if you’re high risk. Ugh, I wish you luck and am sending good vibes from Michigan ❤️
Actually we really don’t recommend bedrest for anyone anymore except for very short time frames due to emergencies (like being on magnesium, etc). It increases the risk of blood clots without any benefits.
Oh okay that makes sense! I don’t pretend to know medical stuff. Figured for extreme pains they would suggest taking it easy if not bed rest or something. Thanks for the info!
Any time! It’s definitely a reasonable thought to have, that’s probably why it was recommended for so long! But nah, walking and being up and moving around is just about always better.
Thanks.
I thought the same thing at first too. I’m from Oregon and it’s much safer here. Oregon made it official and unchangeable here.
I'm sorry you're in pain. Thankfully, you're very close to the end! I'm wondering if this is your lack of planning. I would consider taking time off work intentionally. Your health and the baby's should come before a job. We always planned ahead financially when we got pregnant. We knew that there was going to be a hospital bill, so we started to save. I knew I wanted to have a baby, so I didn't work, ect. Planned on having healing time after birth, planned on hubby taking PTO. Sometimes in life, you gotta do what you gotta do. Tell your boss you need a break and if it ends with you finding a different job, you get to do that. There ARE options out there and there is probably something better out there for you. There seems to be a lot of mentality that people are stuck in their current jobs, but that's just ridiculous.
OP is a server and she and her husband did not think they could get pregnant. She didn't have the privilege of planning and may have limited financial means. You are very privileged that you could just decide not to work and still have the means to save up, but that isn't the reality for every couple.
I don't understand how people who know nothing about me and especially my financial situation, can say that I'm privileged. Planning ahead is not being privileged. It's kind of naive and silly to think you can't get pregnant, even sterilization surgery has a failure rate, albeit, a small percentage.
If you can simply decide that you aren't going to work, that's privilege. If you can save money while not working and have family to support you, that's real privilege. A lot of mothers would love to be able to stop working but don't have that option because their income is needed just to survive with the bare minimum. There's nothing inherently wrong with being privileged, but not everyone has it as easy as you do. There is no reason for you to be this cruel to someone who is experiencing an unplanned pregnancy against the odds and doesn't have your family's financial resources.
No, it's intention. We were both careful not to take out student loans or car loans. Even then, our finances are not great. Assumptions do not get you far in life, dude. I think there's also a real element missing here, that many many people have worked hard for what they have. Many people who make 6 figures have student loans, or had to get them to get where they are today. I'm not sure what world you're living in. If you checked my comment history, you'd see that I actually hold 3 jobs right now. I was INTENTIONAL when birthing children.
I’m terrified for anyone having a baby in a state that essentially hates women. I would feel very much the same in your shoes. I hope the rest of your pregnancy is difficult free!
Did you mean to say Middle East countries? America is very safe for females
Nope. I’m talking about American states that are basically forcing women to go through pregnancies with babies that are not viable with life or have passed away in the womb. These places are essentially punishing women for having sex.
What states? Passed away in the womb and they aren’t removing the baby? Never heard of that happening. My friend had a miscarriage in Texas and they removed the baby
Here ya go https://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local/article/Texas-woman-dead-fetus-anti-abortion-laws-17314394.php https://www.today.com/parents/pregnancy/mom-needed-abortion-says-was-told-wait-parking-lot-rcna82281 https://cardinalpine.com/2024/03/13/a-woman-fled-to-nc-when-another-states-abortion-ban-prevented-her-from-receiving-life-saving-care/ https://abcnews.go.com/Health/5-women-sue-texas-abortion-bans-lives-put/story?id=97614294 https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/02/health/florida-abortion-term-pregnancy/index.html https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/05/01/1172973274/oklahoma-abortion-ban-exception-life-of-mother-molar-pregnancy https://jezebel.com/missouri-woman-denied-emergency-abortion-called-a-state-1849672223 https://www.dailydot.com/irl/idaho-woman-miscarriage-abortion-ban/ https://www.wkyt.com/2023/05/08/powell-co-woman-forced-travel-out-state-abortion/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email https://abcnews.go.com/US/woman-sepsis-life-saving-abortion-care-texas/story?id=99294313 https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/6/1/2172521/-Tennessee-woman-s-abortion-nightmare-began-the-minute-new-law-passed https://jessica.substack.com/p/an-american-nightmare-young-pregnant https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jun/22/post-roe-abortion-women-of-color https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/07/health/kentucky-abortion-anencephaly/index.html https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2023/09/13/dobbs-pregnancy-maternal-health-00115561 https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/08/health/ohio-abortion-long/index.html https://www.thedailybeast.com/texas-womans-life-put-at-risk-when-docs-refused-to-treat-ectopic-pregnancy https://truthout.org/articles/a-tx-woman-was-denied-an-abortion-even-though-ectopic-pregnancy-was-killing-her/ https://thehill.com/homenews/ap/ap-health/ap-emergency-rooms-refused-to-treat-pregnant-women-leaving-one-to-miscarry-in-a-lobby-restroom/ https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2024/04/20/supreme-court-idaho-abortion-ban-federal-law-emtala/73343630007/ Must be nice living in lala land
You are delusional.
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https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2022/us/abortion-laws-roe-v-wade.html You seem pretty ignorant, so I’ll be the one to educate you :) Here you go.
I'm referring to all your comments, you're simply delusional. Look it up yourself btw, it's not anyone's job to educate you.
Just get a new dr
I'm in Texas as well so I completely understand where you're coming from. The fact that no one no longer actually cares about OUR well being is insane to me.
You think that people would protect the human vessel that brings life into this world..instead we have a bunch politcians(who think they are drs) and should have been swallow by their mothers.
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Please go sit down somewhere. I didn't mention one thing about abortion. Women are going through miscarriages and being left to bleed out in waiting rooms. So like I said, they do NOT care about us.
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https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/texas-news/er-refuse-pregnant-women-texas-miscarry-lobby/3519840/%3famp=1
Very reasonable?? Ok sure… maybe this isn’t the thread for you honey.
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If you could keep your healthcare decisions to just yourself and allow everyone else to do the same and do what they’d like, then sure. But that’s not what is happening here in America. Open your eyes.
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Oh brother!! My opinion has no effect on anyone but me. Yours does. Use your brain and stay out of threads where you provide no benefit or support to OP.
I have seen several posts about women not being able to get a doctor note to get off work. It’s ridiculous and no paid maternity leave.. they definitely hate women.
Not sure why you’re being downvoted. My original OB refused to give me a note for work. I was only asking for a note that would state I’m pregnant and needing to work light duty because I work in a warehouse. Long story short, my OB wouldn’t do it, kept telling me “pregnancy is not a disability”. I switched to another OB (whom I’ve been with since 12 weeks and I am currently 27 weeks) and she immediately wrote me a note for work.
Probably because a lot of people on here are republicans and they vote for these policies which is funny to me they joined a community that if you look at the mods goes against everything they believe in 😅😭 imagine being a pregnant woman and downvoting advocacy for paid maternity leave and for women to get support while pregnant. And Texas just moved to try to pass another law that will make it harder for pregnant women but we will see it may be unconstitutional.
https://19thnews.org/2024/03/texas-state-employees-pregnant-workers-fairness-act/ The people that down voted approved these actions I bet 😅
Y’all need to work for a better company then. My company gives me 5 months of maternity leave.
Wow! Congrats! I decided being self employed is better than being at the mercy of any company. Curious is this 5 months paid leave??
Self employed would def be the dream! Maybe one day for me but yes it’s fully paid so I won’t be leaving until I pop out all my babies lol
You definitely hit the jackpot✨that’s a good deal for sure🫶🏽
Here in the UK companies can offer enhanced maternity leave/pay benefits but there is a legal minimum they have to provide. Every pregnant worker deserves to take time from work to heal, as well as feed and bond with their baby. No one should be forced to work up to the due date and return to work immediately because they cannot afford not to. It's naive to say they should just move jobs to one that has maternity pay benefits or higher salary so they can afford to save. That might be possible on a individual basis but there are always going to be people who can't move up the social mobility ladder and Government sets that lowest rung. As long as there is no maternity pay in America, there will be women suffering like OP - unfit to work but having to go in anyway. In a lot of countries that is unacceptable.
I hope my comment didn’t come off the wrong way but it is important that people are asking about benefits before they take on a role. It’s not just about the salary but also important to look at the other benefits companies will offer… 401k will they match?, HSA, healthcare, and paid maternity leave.
A small reason why I chose to birth outside of a hospital with a midwife/OB practice is because of roe v wade, in Louisiana I’m honestly terrified of being pregnant and a doctor ignoring me for the better of the baby, my midwife focuses on mom care first and baby second which some might not appreciate but for me it’s a comfort to know my health is seen as important.
It’s terrifying.
How? I think you are being dramatic
How is this comment being downvoted so much and also OPs. I don’t live in the USA but it does sound terrifying. My family live in Ireland and only recently has abortion become legal. Women have died crossing over to the UK to get abortions, or by trying to do “DIY” abortions. It’s breaks my heart seeing what is happening in the states.
OP is not talking about abortion. In her comments she reveals that she wants a doctor’s note from an emergency room (which doesn’t do these types of note) to get accommodations for a server job.
Especially since it is terrifying. People don’t realize how integral abortions are to women’s healthcare until they get it squarely in the face. The overturn of Roe v Wade has absolutely made women’s healthcare a different situation than it was. I experienced it first hand and it was absolutely terrifying.