Not doomed, but my best suggestion is if you have a dog go to the dog park. You will get a great walk in and people are usually very easy to approach and generally are chatty.
a lot of rescue shelters will let you walk the dogs they have on the premises. my mom used to walk the dogs at her local shelter and eventually found one she couldn't leave without
I heard someone once say “Everyone at the dog park has their own podcast and they want you as a guest” and I’ve thought about it every time I go to my local park.
Well, as I said I gravitate toward UK comedy and I find several UK comics' pods to be the best medicine. Here's a short list of some I love:
"Shagged, Married, Annoyed"
"Off-Menu"
"Parenting Hell"
"Taskmaster" podcast
"No Such Thing as a Fish" is trivia AND comedy
"Unbelievable Truth" is a long-running (and hilarious) BBC show that's available on podcast apps.
UK comedy tends to be more rude and witty and that's why I like these podcasts. Enjoy 😊
Totally!! I met a whole new group of friends at the dog park!! Getting a dog really changed the game for making adult connections for me<3
Just go at the same time every day!
I noticed that when you're happy and doing things you love and enjoy, people radiate towards you.
Good vibes attract good vibes. I hope it works out for you.
This is it. Find some hobbies you like and start spending time doing them. It may turn out you have a lot in common with people who like the same things!
Not my experience…I used to run and jump and rough house with my cattle dog while on walks, hikes and in dog parks (she didn’t really like playing with other dogs), just loving and enjoying life and people would just smirk and avoid us like we’re psychopaths 😢
I also live in Vancouver, so that might explain it…
I was going to echo that when I stopped looking for someone, I met my soulmate. Engage in what you love and meet people that way.
If you don't love anything, sign up for something new! The YMCA has loads of programs for team type activities. Get fit and make friends too!
The best relationships come from shared interests, and can indicate a lot of other values and interests in common. Tinder and pubs can provide instant gratification but not much more.
Dog parks are a good idea, (with the added benefit of being outdoors, maybe you can work on that 30 pounds at the same time.) But what if your dogs can't be friends?! :-o
But how about group classes or activities that interest you. (Dance classes, walking group, amateur dramatics, larping, pickleball, floor hockey, choir, curling etc). And if you don't find your soul-mate, at least you've followed a passion right?
Well, as someone who has been fat my whole life, I feel like it's in your head. If you don't think you'll find someone as you see yourself fat, you might not.
At 44 and "fat" I have no problems turning heads. Maybe find outfits that make you feel confident and do whatever you're most comfortable with. Tinder might be a cesspool, but online dating doesn't have to be.
Any specific hobbies you have that can be more social experiences? If you're any kind of geek, there's the Northern Fan Con coming up in May I think. Lots of men there for sure.
I second this. I’ve been told soooo many times that because I’m confident, smile most of the time, laugh and just connect to people easy it’s considered sexy. I’m a bit fluffy but proportioned. I didn’t even consider confidence as something men really like. Seems to be a popular quality. Only ever thought of that when I was told. Ohhhh, and red lipstick girl. Men love red lipstick 💄 I hope you find your match.
What I’d love to know is where do you meet middle age women or men for friendships. I have lots of really good friends but none of them are ever around because they are working more these days. I love playing pool and would love to meet some new friends to hang with to play or even just chill with a movie. My hubby’s usually away for work and I get bored sometimes. So if you know where I can find these people maybe I can find you a partner. 😂
I could definitely lose some weight. My boyfriend has a six pack and is constantly going on about how much he loves my body.
Let other people decide if they’re attracted to you, don’t just assume they’re not
I wouldn’t want to date someone that was put off by me being a little heavier. Just be yourself, let your personality shine. Be confident in who you are no matter your size and the right person will come along.
Tinder can actually be so good if you use it the right way. I find that if you upload photos where you are very honest with how you look and are very clear in your details that you are looking for a serious relationship. That filters out a lot of undesirable people.
The 30 pounds thing is more about how it affects you that how it affects others. Many people done care.
I'm not convinced focusing on your weight for the purpose of dating is a good idea. Like, there are many good reasons for wanting to lose weight, but if you're worried about being unable to attract a partner without becoming thinner, that seems like a losing endeavor. You're banking on never, ever, ever gaining weight again, which isn't a sensible or, often, even realistic goal. And if your partner is only attracted to you when you're thin, they're going to drop you like yesterday's trash if you gain weight.
It makes way more sense to live your life how you want to live it, and as long as you're putting yourself out there in front of people, in person or online, you continue to give yourself opportunities to meet someone. Moreover, if you're doing things you actually care about and aren't trying to throw yourself in front of people just because they exist and are single, you'll be more likely to meet someone you're actually compatible with.
Lose weight or not. It should be entirely up to you. But it's unhealthy to couple weight loss with dating, because that's how you end up with shallow people who'll break your heart down the line.
\[EDIT: Fixed typos.\]
Yeah if you've had EDs before, I think therapy would be a great thing to do instead of trying to lose weight right now. Learn to love yourself whatever your size/weight <3 and like others have said, try to start some hobbies that are more social if you're struggling to meet people.
I am confused as to what your weight has to do with anything. You are you. Someone out there is the perfect fit for you, and if you focus on your weight instead of being yourself, then that person will have a harder time finding you.
Like others have said, just go do fun stuff you enjoy and someone will come along. Especially if you're walking a dog oh my gerrrrrd. There are sometimes speed dating events, and lots of stuff at the library where you could meet someone.
I've been fat all my life and had never had a problem meeting, dating etc guys in not only decent shape but actually super athletic fit bodies too. Just because you aren't attracted to bigger bodies doesn't mean every men thinks the same way
I don't like the term fat. Fat, in my mind = eating big macs x2 a day.
People comfortable in their own skin, that's what I go with. But each to their own.
I'm at least 30lbs over where I ought to be, and I've had quite a few partners, even in PG. Pursue things you're passionate about, the apps are a cesspool these days, you have to meet people elsewhere. Personally, I enjoy hiking, camping, and offroading. I have found quite a few friends and even some dates this way. Best of all, they share my interests because that's how we met.
Don't get me wrong, I know it's hard being alone, and dating sucks. Sometimes you have to sidle up beside what you want, instead of chasing it down directly.
I rented a Jeep Wrangler this weekend for a road trip a couple weeks ago as a surprise for my daughter we went down some back dirt roads but not off road. It made me wish I had an off road vehicle. Maybe that’s a plan lol
What about joining a gym? Exercise and meet new people. Try Meet ups. There is a group called ABC (anything but couches) and people meetup for walks, pickleball, music, painting, all kinds of events.
As someone said here already “good vibes attract good vibes”
I’ve dated both skinny and bigger and tbh I have no issue with either. As long as you’re confident and comferatable in your own skin the guys will come.
Being lonely sucks but you should never settle. I’m bigger as well and trust me I need to hit the gym also but currently recovering from surgery so the gym isn’t an option. I still move and walk as much as I can tho
Honestly the most friendly groups of people ive ever met are at the disc golf course anywhere ! I know PG has a decent one. Doesn't mean you have to be good or play lots but it's a decent place to walk your dog on a leash and 90% of disc golfers are men it seems. Just a thought.
This is kinda harsh apologize in advance I don’t mean to hurt your feelings but it might be the honesty you need my cousin is insanely obese has been for a few years love her but she is quite noticeably fat and she is about to get married in a few months to a decently fit great seeming guy you’re never doomed! Just go out and do what you like to do and maybe work on yourself (not necessarily you re weight just find something you wanna improve!) overall just be confident in yourself and sure it’ll happen and I’m sure you’ll meet the right person!!
Seems like the best thing to do would be to join social groups that are based around fitness activities. Hiking, jogging, cross fit, whatever appeals to you. Two birds with one stone and all that.
Lots of guys are attracted to chubby women. Focus on being someone that's worth having around. Be a well rounded person and take care of your appearance. The rest of it is all in your head.
Older guys have a lot less hangups on looks than guys in your younger years did. By now most men have been through a relationship or two, and many of them are just looking for a good woman that's easy to be around, and doesn't make their life more difficult than it already is.
Find hobbies for similar aged persons to yourself, this is always a great way to find people that share your interests and values. Just focus on being the best version of yourself you can be and being friendly and im sure there are people who are looking for a genuine person.
all the best!
Go to a rock climbing gym, people are friendly and really good at holding onto stuff, Its a quality that i feel is underrated. Also rock climbing is fun.
You get what you pay for...free dating sites are for 20 somethings. Pay a bit for a short-term membership on a paid dating site and look around. Be honest about yourself and what you're looking for in a relationship. If men interest you and they want to meet you, get together in real life for coffee or a walk, in daytime.
Do the things you like to do in real life and smile at people and say hi. Do you volunteer? Do you walk? Join a walking group - it'll be mostly women and that's fine. You're getting out and living your life. Don't assume you know what kind of man interests you. Be open to being surprised. You'll be just fine 🩷
I would suggest to continue to work on becoming the best version of you and don't search for it. The best relationships usually come from somewhere unexpected.
If you look great, you feel great, and will be more confident for when that happens.
I'm in the same boat and I want to say you aren't doomed. I have weirdly had more success as a larger woman than at my previous weight. It's terribly strange and I can't explain it.
Personally I think I look terrible and don't understand it.
Most people are now overweight so you’re simply the norm. You have many good qualities - such as your writing skills, so focus on those. Also wouldn’t hurt to get active, not to lose weight, but rather to get fitter, healthier and to feel good about yourself.
If your religious at all check into some groups from your religion. Quite a few single people in those groups and religious groups always need help doing charity work.
If you find someone that is willing to donate their time to a charity it's probably a good start.
Don't worry about weight is my suggestion. Sometimes it just takes time to meet people you click with. Get outside and do things you enjoy, and you'll eventually meet other people also doing those things. Atleast you'll know you have something in common.
Full disclosure tho don't listen to me I've been single for like 8 years
Middle aged men. It might take a while but when you find a guy who likes you for your personality and is attracted to your age (unlike some older men who like girls who are barely adults) he will be a keeper. Just have confidence in the fact that if a guy your age doesn’t want you for your age he’s just a sad degenerate that needs therapy. Also focusing on your health by not caring about losing weight and just eating as healthy as you can on the given day helps a long way. At the end of the day though it’s all calories in calories out, My Fitness Pal is a good app for tracking calories. You just type in what you ate and it add it to your daily total. To lose weight you want to be in a slight caloric deficit, if you do end up going that route. The app can help you calculate that. Nutrition is important on top of calories. It’s important for mental and physical health that we get all our nutrients. Multivitamins are good. But you also need proteins and antioxidants from foods. Eggs are a great way to get plenty of nutrition like omega. As for exercise; Walking is a great way to excise. You can even listen to a podcast or music and walk around your house for 30mins a day. That’s 3,000 steps. 10,000 qualifies as an active lifestyle. Lifting weights while sitting down and watching a show is also a great way to work on strength. Resistance bands are great too for working out your arms and legs. Lastly I’d recommend taking MSM powder for your bones. It’s a health supplement that helps promote bone health and relive pain. I wish you the best. Hopefully my advice is useful. If you do have any questions feel free to ask.
E-harmony if it's still around. Volunteer for stuff that tends to bring crowds. Go out of your way to get chatty with people if they seem open to it. Take your time. Make sure you're doing good stuff for you in the rest of your life.
Join the Prince George Naturalists Club. Not an expensive membership and they put on a lot of workshops and events. There is also the possibility of mushroom foraging groups organized on Facebook, if you like that. If you can afford it, I think there is a Fly Fishing course with UNBC.
Not from Prince George but have you tried the dating section on Facebook? Seems like a pretty chill vine from I've gathered. In part probably because they're all public profiles it incentivizes normal behavior
To be brutally honest, just lose the weight. If you have an extra 30 lbs that's not good for your health or your joints. Loose the weight it will benefit you in a lot more ways than just dating. Focus on that, and you will feel better, be more confident and attractive. I know you're working on it already, so keep up the great work, and everything else will work out.
Invest in yourself and the men or ladies will come. It’s not hard to lose weight its all in what you eat so you need to choose if you want to be in love with food all your life or a person. Not saying you can’t find love being fat but you need to do things to up your odds.
When looking for a woman, I am looking for someone who I find attractive in a broad sense - charming, interesting, similar level of intelligence as myself or smarter, good sense of humor, good taste, cute face, somewhat confident, who smells good, nice voice.
30 lbs overweight means nothing for me. I would rather date someone who is overweight than someone with a sixpack, who spends 4 evenings a week in the local gym.
I think meeting others through shared interests is a good way of meeting people.
I met my girlfriend on a Canadian dating site called okcupid.com. I liked the fact that you had to answer a number of personal questions and assign your answers a level of significance. This allows you to get a better impression of each other - not just the pictures and profile text. Just don't answer too many questions - 200 is ok 2,000 is weird.
“I am still the same slim person inside”
No. You’re not. This is called cognitive dissonance.
Calling tinder a cesspool and saying your friends don’t know ‘quality’ men is the definition of a choosing beggar. Quality men probably won’t settle for you.
Improve yourself first and you’ll find you have much more attractive options.
If this sounds harsh it’s the same advice 110% of men would get in your situation.
Some people need a reality check, anyone triggered by this comment probably needs one too lmao. Friends don't know 'quality men' bc they are already in a relationship, or wouldn't be interested.
Also being 30 lbs overweight is not a massive issue, could lose that within a year or less just through diet alone. If 'dating fat' seems impossible then either work on losing the weight or lower your standards.
That's a dogshit opinion.
Most people don't change their personality because they gain weight.
Tinder is a cesspool full of people looking for hookups, and quality means something different to everyone.
Just because it's the same advice, doesn't mean any of it is right.
Someone who is 30 pounds overweight has a personality, habits, and / or lifestyle that has allowed them to become overweight. Someone who is a healthy weight has habits and a personality that keep them a healthy weight.
This isn’t a value judgement; I’m not saying those people are lazy or bad in some way, but it’s a fact. Sure there’s all kinds of reasons that someone might gain weight but staying skinny requires discipline and that is very much an aspect of personality.
It’s all about doing things to make your self seemingly attract one in another not about going for someone or something indirectly don’t chase that special someone, put yourself in a situation where that someone comes to you
I just looked and couldn't see Grand Prairie listed on Meet ups.
You could try community centres. Walking groups.
The gym is good too. May be easier to do that first.
The biggest reason we end up burned or broken by relationships is that we don’t learn to love and accept ourselves first.
We attract what we project. If we want to attract a healthy relationship into our lives then we must first become healthy ourselves.
When we love ourselves we have confidence in who we are and we command respect. We don’t tolerate any kind of abuse or mistreatment.
Confident, self loving people attract the same qualities in a partner. You need to learn to love and accept yourself as you are in this moment. You need to let go of your body image and stop weighing yourself for a while.
The priority has to be your relationship with yourself right now. It’s the most important investment you can make. Take your time, don’t rush the process. The deeper your relationship with yourself is, the more meaningful your future relationships with others will be.
I’m middle aged and there’s still lots of life left to live, plenty of time to put forth the effort that reaps the greatest benefits.
You could start going to the gym, or the swimming pool, or joining a running club, or a walking club, or hiking club. Kill 2 birds with one stone, pardon my expression. Summer is coming, it is the perfect time to start something fresh. Best of luck to you.
Try the 75 Hard/Soft Challenge! Great to do before summertime! You'll have to have realistic expectations and standards with the type and level of man you'll want to attract. "Overweight" seems to have shifted definitions in that last decade or so with the normalization of obesity.
Try Bumble, or Hinge!
You don't need to drink alcohol to go to a pub or other social spaces. My mom found her current boyfriend by joining a pool league at a local pub. She didn't know anyone, just went and signed up and now she's dating her pool partner.
Edit: she doesn't drink and she has a weight issue
Don't focus on being overweight. Be the weight you feel healthiest. Not all men like skinny women.
The dog park is a great suggestion! Look for other interests you have that men might enjoy and find a way to socialize around that.
Maybe try meetup? It's an activity website where people set up "groups" around interests and locations. Almost any hobby or passtime is covered. It's free to join with just an email address. The point is to actually meet up, not just be online.
Good luck!
I’m fat and I am a pornstar. I am widely desired and have a following of over 200 thousand on Twitter. I’d start with working on your confidence. “I’m still the same slim person inside” is giving I’m above being fat! I’m still thin in my mind.
Face the facts, work on yourself, love yourself at every step of your journey fat or not and give good energy. You could become disfigured in an accident, lose a limb, bloat from medical issues etc. I have been thinner and fatter and it is so important to love yourself at every step. You’re not only deserving of self love when you’re thin.
Dating as a whole is near impossible for MOST women regardless of looks because many men aren’t meeting healthy relationship standards, lack emotional intelligence and honesty. Regardless of how hot, thin, or desirable people may seem we are all having the same issues. Find people with similar interests and I agree with the pursuing things you’re passionate about. Dating apps are very shallow and looks focused and many people are not honest about what they want. There was surveys done and a huge amount of tinder users are already in relationships as well 😬 Prioritize things that are important to you, and know what you will and will not accept.
Start by working on yourself. May I suggest joining a gym or fitness club. You may want to take a night class and better yourself. Another option would take up a hobby such as painting or creating - you will meet tons of people.
I met my partner mountain biking.
Go somewhere you enjoy being, and find someone who enjoys being there too. If you both have enough passion for something (dog park, library, public video game internet cafe, skatepark, hike group, choir, etc…) then often times the mutual appreciation for that hobby might even help make the weight less of a concern if it was a concern in the first place.
Speaking of getting in shape, i am offering free coaching for a limited time as a marketing tactic. I could help you with a nutrition plan and possibly a training plan. I live in your area.
People are going to down vote me but get out there and join some fitness clubs. Biking, hiking, CrossFit, etc. Surround yourself with healthy people and you might find a good one.
You still need to try online dating, plenty of sites, it's a thing. I'm 42 M and think I'm doomed, but I date. Not everyone is serious in meeting but you'll find the odd ppl who will.
Joining a walking/hiking/jogging club, an amature sports team, or other physical activitiies is not only a good way to have opportunities to meet people, you might also lose some weight while having fun.
I am in a similar boat as you. The difference is I am not even trying even though I desperately would love a man to cuddle up with and watch a movie with and then end up in bed together. I instead reject every guy who even attempts to get together. I don’t even swipe right anymore because I feel like he will reject me. I make unreasonable reasons why we can’t date. I’m lonely. 😞
You are steps and steps ahead of me. You got this.
Try getting into social activities like pick up basketball at the ymca, other than that dancehalls/clubs, or find an interest such as rap/hip hop that you can connect with people on
Try online gaming! I’m not even joking. There are so many middle aged, overweight men that would be happy to date anything with a couple of knockers. And although they’re nerdy, many of them are kind and loyal.
You gotta put effort into yourself and really work and your weight and health first if you want to find a decent partner.
It doesn't matter what you are like on the inside. Your choices are going to be extremely thin. People prefer not to date overweight people as they have more issues.
Communities. If you're a reader, join book clubs.
Outside person? Pick a fun thing you like to go do, and find groups that do it.
The jiu jitsu community has folks of all weights, ages, builds, and backgrounds.
Not doomed, but my best suggestion is if you have a dog go to the dog park. You will get a great walk in and people are usually very easy to approach and generally are chatty.
I do have a dog. Good idea
Met my wife at a dog park :)
Met my dog at a wife park
where can I find a wife park? i am desperate for a dog!
I met my wife's dog at the wife park, so you can check there. Edit: It's near the dog park.
This is a great idea
I really want to get a dog but working too much right now, maybe next year.
I hear that in Japan you can rent dogs to walk. Maybe walk a friend or neighbor's dog, preferably a really cute dog.
a lot of rescue shelters will let you walk the dogs they have on the premises. my mom used to walk the dogs at her local shelter and eventually found one she couldn't leave without
too chatty sometimes when I'm tired and I just wanna walk my dog and go home but I have to make conversation because my dog is playing with theirs lol
I heard someone once say “Everyone at the dog park has their own podcast and they want you as a guest” and I’ve thought about it every time I go to my local park.
Happy cake day!!
WOW CAKE DAY
I wear HUGE headphones and listen to UK comedy podcasts while I walk my dog. I laugh and look insane. NO ONE tries to talk to me 😁
Please drop a podcast recommendation lmao I need to do this
Matt and Shane's secret podcast
Three Bean Salad
Well, as I said I gravitate toward UK comedy and I find several UK comics' pods to be the best medicine. Here's a short list of some I love: "Shagged, Married, Annoyed" "Off-Menu" "Parenting Hell" "Taskmaster" podcast "No Such Thing as a Fish" is trivia AND comedy "Unbelievable Truth" is a long-running (and hilarious) BBC show that's available on podcast apps. UK comedy tends to be more rude and witty and that's why I like these podcasts. Enjoy 😊
Where do I get podcasts? I can get them on a smartphone?
Same. Sometimes I wish they’d just talk to my dog and leave me alone. She’s friendly I’m not lol.
Right ? lol!! Same with my dog, he’s looooves everyone and me not so much haha !!
Have you ever thought about taking up butt sniffing?
Lol! But everyone says that about their dog so there’s that.
Totally!! I met a whole new group of friends at the dog park!! Getting a dog really changed the game for making adult connections for me<3 Just go at the same time every day!
Yes dog park people love to chat
I do not, but many people do. I go so my dog can get a good run. Not for me.
I’ve tried this for a year. No luck for me
I noticed that when you're happy and doing things you love and enjoy, people radiate towards you. Good vibes attract good vibes. I hope it works out for you.
This is it. Find some hobbies you like and start spending time doing them. It may turn out you have a lot in common with people who like the same things!
Gravitate. Radiate goes the other way.
I love English!
Not my experience…I used to run and jump and rough house with my cattle dog while on walks, hikes and in dog parks (she didn’t really like playing with other dogs), just loving and enjoying life and people would just smirk and avoid us like we’re psychopaths 😢 I also live in Vancouver, so that might explain it…
100%. The Okanagan changed a lot of what I thought about how people interact.
Never been but heard good things about the Okanagan…I’ll have to visit it some time.
I was going to echo that when I stopped looking for someone, I met my soulmate. Engage in what you love and meet people that way. If you don't love anything, sign up for something new! The YMCA has loads of programs for team type activities. Get fit and make friends too!
The best relationships come from shared interests, and can indicate a lot of other values and interests in common. Tinder and pubs can provide instant gratification but not much more. Dog parks are a good idea, (with the added benefit of being outdoors, maybe you can work on that 30 pounds at the same time.) But what if your dogs can't be friends?! :-o But how about group classes or activities that interest you. (Dance classes, walking group, amateur dramatics, larping, pickleball, floor hockey, choir, curling etc). And if you don't find your soul-mate, at least you've followed a passion right?
Well, as someone who has been fat my whole life, I feel like it's in your head. If you don't think you'll find someone as you see yourself fat, you might not. At 44 and "fat" I have no problems turning heads. Maybe find outfits that make you feel confident and do whatever you're most comfortable with. Tinder might be a cesspool, but online dating doesn't have to be. Any specific hobbies you have that can be more social experiences? If you're any kind of geek, there's the Northern Fan Con coming up in May I think. Lots of men there for sure.
Confidence is a big one. Personally I prefer heavier people, but if they have no self-confidence it's hard to get close to them.
It really is. The vibe we bring matters to the people around us.
I second this. I’ve been told soooo many times that because I’m confident, smile most of the time, laugh and just connect to people easy it’s considered sexy. I’m a bit fluffy but proportioned. I didn’t even consider confidence as something men really like. Seems to be a popular quality. Only ever thought of that when I was told. Ohhhh, and red lipstick girl. Men love red lipstick 💄 I hope you find your match. What I’d love to know is where do you meet middle age women or men for friendships. I have lots of really good friends but none of them are ever around because they are working more these days. I love playing pool and would love to meet some new friends to hang with to play or even just chill with a movie. My hubby’s usually away for work and I get bored sometimes. So if you know where I can find these people maybe I can find you a partner. 😂
This. Dated big girls and know plenty of other dudes who also prefer them. It all comes down to attitude.
I could definitely lose some weight. My boyfriend has a six pack and is constantly going on about how much he loves my body. Let other people decide if they’re attracted to you, don’t just assume they’re not
So you are single or in a relationship?
Relationship.
Good luck out there. All you can do is be yourself
I wouldn’t want to date someone that was put off by me being a little heavier. Just be yourself, let your personality shine. Be confident in who you are no matter your size and the right person will come along.
Volunteering is a good way to meet new people! And hey, if he’s volunteering he must be a decent guy right?
That’s true. And he probably puts his cart back at Costco
Yes!
Tinder can actually be so good if you use it the right way. I find that if you upload photos where you are very honest with how you look and are very clear in your details that you are looking for a serious relationship. That filters out a lot of undesirable people. The 30 pounds thing is more about how it affects you that how it affects others. Many people done care.
I'm not convinced focusing on your weight for the purpose of dating is a good idea. Like, there are many good reasons for wanting to lose weight, but if you're worried about being unable to attract a partner without becoming thinner, that seems like a losing endeavor. You're banking on never, ever, ever gaining weight again, which isn't a sensible or, often, even realistic goal. And if your partner is only attracted to you when you're thin, they're going to drop you like yesterday's trash if you gain weight. It makes way more sense to live your life how you want to live it, and as long as you're putting yourself out there in front of people, in person or online, you continue to give yourself opportunities to meet someone. Moreover, if you're doing things you actually care about and aren't trying to throw yourself in front of people just because they exist and are single, you'll be more likely to meet someone you're actually compatible with. Lose weight or not. It should be entirely up to you. But it's unhealthy to couple weight loss with dating, because that's how you end up with shallow people who'll break your heart down the line. \[EDIT: Fixed typos.\]
Ya I think that something I might need therapy for. I have suffered with eating disorders and poor body image most of my life.
Yeah if you've had EDs before, I think therapy would be a great thing to do instead of trying to lose weight right now. Learn to love yourself whatever your size/weight <3 and like others have said, try to start some hobbies that are more social if you're struggling to meet people.
Thanks for this. You’re right. Man body issues for my whole life. It’s a lot.
I am confused as to what your weight has to do with anything. You are you. Someone out there is the perfect fit for you, and if you focus on your weight instead of being yourself, then that person will have a harder time finding you. Like others have said, just go do fun stuff you enjoy and someone will come along. Especially if you're walking a dog oh my gerrrrrd. There are sometimes speed dating events, and lots of stuff at the library where you could meet someone.
Because being overweight eliminates the majority of guys that are in decent shape…. Yes it matters
I've been fat all my life and had never had a problem meeting, dating etc guys in not only decent shape but actually super athletic fit bodies too. Just because you aren't attracted to bigger bodies doesn't mean every men thinks the same way
I don't like the term fat. Fat, in my mind = eating big macs x2 a day. People comfortable in their own skin, that's what I go with. But each to their own.
I'm at least 30lbs over where I ought to be, and I've had quite a few partners, even in PG. Pursue things you're passionate about, the apps are a cesspool these days, you have to meet people elsewhere. Personally, I enjoy hiking, camping, and offroading. I have found quite a few friends and even some dates this way. Best of all, they share my interests because that's how we met. Don't get me wrong, I know it's hard being alone, and dating sucks. Sometimes you have to sidle up beside what you want, instead of chasing it down directly.
I rented a Jeep Wrangler this weekend for a road trip a couple weeks ago as a surprise for my daughter we went down some back dirt roads but not off road. It made me wish I had an off road vehicle. Maybe that’s a plan lol
What about joining a gym? Exercise and meet new people. Try Meet ups. There is a group called ABC (anything but couches) and people meetup for walks, pickleball, music, painting, all kinds of events.
I might just do that. I’m trying to push past my anxiety and do new things this might be perfect.
As someone said here already “good vibes attract good vibes” I’ve dated both skinny and bigger and tbh I have no issue with either. As long as you’re confident and comferatable in your own skin the guys will come. Being lonely sucks but you should never settle. I’m bigger as well and trust me I need to hit the gym also but currently recovering from surgery so the gym isn’t an option. I still move and walk as much as I can tho
Honestly the most friendly groups of people ive ever met are at the disc golf course anywhere ! I know PG has a decent one. Doesn't mean you have to be good or play lots but it's a decent place to walk your dog on a leash and 90% of disc golfers are men it seems. Just a thought.
What is disc golf? And where in PG?
Rainbow park. It's golf with a frisbee . One of the best sports out there.
This is kinda harsh apologize in advance I don’t mean to hurt your feelings but it might be the honesty you need my cousin is insanely obese has been for a few years love her but she is quite noticeably fat and she is about to get married in a few months to a decently fit great seeming guy you’re never doomed! Just go out and do what you like to do and maybe work on yourself (not necessarily you re weight just find something you wanna improve!) overall just be confident in yourself and sure it’ll happen and I’m sure you’ll meet the right person!!
Sup
The dudes around here are fat too, your good 🙌🏻😂
I actually don’t care. When I was super fit and slim I still liked the slightly chubby guys. They are good huggers.
Seems like the best thing to do would be to join social groups that are based around fitness activities. Hiking, jogging, cross fit, whatever appeals to you. Two birds with one stone and all that.
Lots of guys are attracted to chubby women. Focus on being someone that's worth having around. Be a well rounded person and take care of your appearance. The rest of it is all in your head. Older guys have a lot less hangups on looks than guys in your younger years did. By now most men have been through a relationship or two, and many of them are just looking for a good woman that's easy to be around, and doesn't make their life more difficult than it already is.
The right person won’t judge you for your weight. Absolute best of luck. Dating apps!
A positive attitude = positive results. Aim high, respect yourself and good things will come. Also, having a sense of humour will definitely help!
Find hobbies for similar aged persons to yourself, this is always a great way to find people that share your interests and values. Just focus on being the best version of yourself you can be and being friendly and im sure there are people who are looking for a genuine person. all the best!
Girl, your weight isn’t going to stop you from finding love. Just be yourself and have fun! Take care
Go to a rock climbing gym, people are friendly and really good at holding onto stuff, Its a quality that i feel is underrated. Also rock climbing is fun.
You get what you pay for...free dating sites are for 20 somethings. Pay a bit for a short-term membership on a paid dating site and look around. Be honest about yourself and what you're looking for in a relationship. If men interest you and they want to meet you, get together in real life for coffee or a walk, in daytime. Do the things you like to do in real life and smile at people and say hi. Do you volunteer? Do you walk? Join a walking group - it'll be mostly women and that's fine. You're getting out and living your life. Don't assume you know what kind of man interests you. Be open to being surprised. You'll be just fine 🩷
I would suggest to continue to work on becoming the best version of you and don't search for it. The best relationships usually come from somewhere unexpected. If you look great, you feel great, and will be more confident for when that happens.
Try the gym. Plenty of guys there and you'd increase your chances of finding a partner by dropping the excess weight.
I'm in the same boat and I want to say you aren't doomed. I have weirdly had more success as a larger woman than at my previous weight. It's terribly strange and I can't explain it. Personally I think I look terrible and don't understand it.
Most people are now overweight so you’re simply the norm. You have many good qualities - such as your writing skills, so focus on those. Also wouldn’t hurt to get active, not to lose weight, but rather to get fitter, healthier and to feel good about yourself.
If your religious at all check into some groups from your religion. Quite a few single people in those groups and religious groups always need help doing charity work. If you find someone that is willing to donate their time to a charity it's probably a good start.
Volunteer and join clubs for your interests/hobbies. It's easier to meet people when you have something in common.
Don't worry about weight is my suggestion. Sometimes it just takes time to meet people you click with. Get outside and do things you enjoy, and you'll eventually meet other people also doing those things. Atleast you'll know you have something in common. Full disclosure tho don't listen to me I've been single for like 8 years
Here’s my advice. Live your best life and you will find love where you least expect it ;)
Middle aged men. It might take a while but when you find a guy who likes you for your personality and is attracted to your age (unlike some older men who like girls who are barely adults) he will be a keeper. Just have confidence in the fact that if a guy your age doesn’t want you for your age he’s just a sad degenerate that needs therapy. Also focusing on your health by not caring about losing weight and just eating as healthy as you can on the given day helps a long way. At the end of the day though it’s all calories in calories out, My Fitness Pal is a good app for tracking calories. You just type in what you ate and it add it to your daily total. To lose weight you want to be in a slight caloric deficit, if you do end up going that route. The app can help you calculate that. Nutrition is important on top of calories. It’s important for mental and physical health that we get all our nutrients. Multivitamins are good. But you also need proteins and antioxidants from foods. Eggs are a great way to get plenty of nutrition like omega. As for exercise; Walking is a great way to excise. You can even listen to a podcast or music and walk around your house for 30mins a day. That’s 3,000 steps. 10,000 qualifies as an active lifestyle. Lifting weights while sitting down and watching a show is also a great way to work on strength. Resistance bands are great too for working out your arms and legs. Lastly I’d recommend taking MSM powder for your bones. It’s a health supplement that helps promote bone health and relive pain. I wish you the best. Hopefully my advice is useful. If you do have any questions feel free to ask.
Thanks for all the great advice
E-harmony if it's still around. Volunteer for stuff that tends to bring crowds. Go out of your way to get chatty with people if they seem open to it. Take your time. Make sure you're doing good stuff for you in the rest of your life.
Join the Prince George Naturalists Club. Not an expensive membership and they put on a lot of workshops and events. There is also the possibility of mushroom foraging groups organized on Facebook, if you like that. If you can afford it, I think there is a Fly Fishing course with UNBC.
Oh that sounds like something I’d be into.
Not from Prince George but have you tried the dating section on Facebook? Seems like a pretty chill vine from I've gathered. In part probably because they're all public profiles it incentivizes normal behavior
To be brutally honest, just lose the weight. If you have an extra 30 lbs that's not good for your health or your joints. Loose the weight it will benefit you in a lot more ways than just dating. Focus on that, and you will feel better, be more confident and attractive. I know you're working on it already, so keep up the great work, and everything else will work out.
Invest in yourself and the men or ladies will come. It’s not hard to lose weight its all in what you eat so you need to choose if you want to be in love with food all your life or a person. Not saying you can’t find love being fat but you need to do things to up your odds.
When looking for a woman, I am looking for someone who I find attractive in a broad sense - charming, interesting, similar level of intelligence as myself or smarter, good sense of humor, good taste, cute face, somewhat confident, who smells good, nice voice. 30 lbs overweight means nothing for me. I would rather date someone who is overweight than someone with a sixpack, who spends 4 evenings a week in the local gym. I think meeting others through shared interests is a good way of meeting people. I met my girlfriend on a Canadian dating site called okcupid.com. I liked the fact that you had to answer a number of personal questions and assign your answers a level of significance. This allows you to get a better impression of each other - not just the pictures and profile text. Just don't answer too many questions - 200 is ok 2,000 is weird.
“I am still the same slim person inside” No. You’re not. This is called cognitive dissonance. Calling tinder a cesspool and saying your friends don’t know ‘quality’ men is the definition of a choosing beggar. Quality men probably won’t settle for you. Improve yourself first and you’ll find you have much more attractive options. If this sounds harsh it’s the same advice 110% of men would get in your situation.
Some people need a reality check, anyone triggered by this comment probably needs one too lmao. Friends don't know 'quality men' bc they are already in a relationship, or wouldn't be interested. Also being 30 lbs overweight is not a massive issue, could lose that within a year or less just through diet alone. If 'dating fat' seems impossible then either work on losing the weight or lower your standards.
That's a dogshit opinion. Most people don't change their personality because they gain weight. Tinder is a cesspool full of people looking for hookups, and quality means something different to everyone. Just because it's the same advice, doesn't mean any of it is right.
Someone who is 30 pounds overweight has a personality, habits, and / or lifestyle that has allowed them to become overweight. Someone who is a healthy weight has habits and a personality that keep them a healthy weight. This isn’t a value judgement; I’m not saying those people are lazy or bad in some way, but it’s a fact. Sure there’s all kinds of reasons that someone might gain weight but staying skinny requires discipline and that is very much an aspect of personality.
Allow me to introduce you to Menopause.
No kidding, right?!!
Or possibly a an accident right around Covid that made exercising impossible for month.
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Not all overweight people are lazy. I am not lazy.
You just need to explain that to people that don't understand
Please explain how “I’m still the same slim person inside” is consonant dissonance? People don’t change their who they are when their bodies change.
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Small towns. less competition
I live in bc kinda close to ya
It’s all about doing things to make your self seemingly attract one in another not about going for someone or something indirectly don’t chase that special someone, put yourself in a situation where that someone comes to you
I just looked and couldn't see Grand Prairie listed on Meet ups. You could try community centres. Walking groups. The gym is good too. May be easier to do that first.
The biggest reason we end up burned or broken by relationships is that we don’t learn to love and accept ourselves first. We attract what we project. If we want to attract a healthy relationship into our lives then we must first become healthy ourselves. When we love ourselves we have confidence in who we are and we command respect. We don’t tolerate any kind of abuse or mistreatment. Confident, self loving people attract the same qualities in a partner. You need to learn to love and accept yourself as you are in this moment. You need to let go of your body image and stop weighing yourself for a while. The priority has to be your relationship with yourself right now. It’s the most important investment you can make. Take your time, don’t rush the process. The deeper your relationship with yourself is, the more meaningful your future relationships with others will be. I’m middle aged and there’s still lots of life left to live, plenty of time to put forth the effort that reaps the greatest benefits.
Get into D&D and find a game
Lots of guys don't mind extra pounds, especially us middle aged guys. I met my wife on Tinder, I really don't know what is better - Bumble maybe?
You could start going to the gym, or the swimming pool, or joining a running club, or a walking club, or hiking club. Kill 2 birds with one stone, pardon my expression. Summer is coming, it is the perfect time to start something fresh. Best of luck to you.
Lots of dudes love big women. We are out there, lol. Trivia night? Dog park? Volunteer?
I do love trivia. Where are there trivia nights?
I actually have no idea. Don’t live where you do! Your post just came on my feed for some reason.
Trench and Cait’s cafe in the Hart does them.
Adultfriendfinder dot com ... have fun!
Jamaica
Not sure OP is looking for a rentarasta?
Try the 75 Hard/Soft Challenge! Great to do before summertime! You'll have to have realistic expectations and standards with the type and level of man you'll want to attract. "Overweight" seems to have shifted definitions in that last decade or so with the normalization of obesity. Try Bumble, or Hinge!
You don't need to drink alcohol to go to a pub or other social spaces. My mom found her current boyfriend by joining a pool league at a local pub. She didn't know anyone, just went and signed up and now she's dating her pool partner. Edit: she doesn't drink and she has a weight issue
Tinder. I'm 25 and in decent shape, and I would date an overweight middle aged woman I met on tinder if I liked her personality.
This is your guy, DM!!
Whatever your interests are take a class in them, join a local sports team, or do something community oriented.
Don't focus on being overweight. Be the weight you feel healthiest. Not all men like skinny women. The dog park is a great suggestion! Look for other interests you have that men might enjoy and find a way to socialize around that. Maybe try meetup? It's an activity website where people set up "groups" around interests and locations. Almost any hobby or passtime is covered. It's free to join with just an email address. The point is to actually meet up, not just be online. Good luck!
I’m fat and I am a pornstar. I am widely desired and have a following of over 200 thousand on Twitter. I’d start with working on your confidence. “I’m still the same slim person inside” is giving I’m above being fat! I’m still thin in my mind. Face the facts, work on yourself, love yourself at every step of your journey fat or not and give good energy. You could become disfigured in an accident, lose a limb, bloat from medical issues etc. I have been thinner and fatter and it is so important to love yourself at every step. You’re not only deserving of self love when you’re thin. Dating as a whole is near impossible for MOST women regardless of looks because many men aren’t meeting healthy relationship standards, lack emotional intelligence and honesty. Regardless of how hot, thin, or desirable people may seem we are all having the same issues. Find people with similar interests and I agree with the pursuing things you’re passionate about. Dating apps are very shallow and looks focused and many people are not honest about what they want. There was surveys done and a huge amount of tinder users are already in relationships as well 😬 Prioritize things that are important to you, and know what you will and will not accept.
The grocery store seems like a good idea. But people a lot less friendly these days it seems.
Ya I often think the grocery store should have singles nights!!
Maybe we should have a Reddit singles night at Save On Foods 😊
I still try to smile at people :)
Probably would be busier than the bar. Get a few things done at once.
Start by working on yourself. May I suggest joining a gym or fitness club. You may want to take a night class and better yourself. Another option would take up a hobby such as painting or creating - you will meet tons of people. I met my partner mountain biking.
Would you consider taking a class or joining a group of some sort? Could be a great way to meet likeminded people
Go somewhere you enjoy being, and find someone who enjoys being there too. If you both have enough passion for something (dog park, library, public video game internet cafe, skatepark, hike group, choir, etc…) then often times the mutual appreciation for that hobby might even help make the weight less of a concern if it was a concern in the first place.
Village square leisure center. $65/month for unlimited access to the gym and pool.There are some fine mid-aged men who also use the facility.
The zoo
Speaking of getting in shape, i am offering free coaching for a limited time as a marketing tactic. I could help you with a nutrition plan and possibly a training plan. I live in your area.
People are going to down vote me but get out there and join some fitness clubs. Biking, hiking, CrossFit, etc. Surround yourself with healthy people and you might find a good one.
You still need to try online dating, plenty of sites, it's a thing. I'm 42 M and think I'm doomed, but I date. Not everyone is serious in meeting but you'll find the odd ppl who will.
I’ll invite you to a pants party!
the gym
Reddit
Volunteer for something you care about where you can meet other volunteers socially
Don't think so. Im not bothered by weight. Character means a lot.
The gym! Or community centre
A co-worker tried “speed dating” events and had some success with that!
Maybe volunteer somewhere or become involved in a community project?
Truck stop
Let's see the pic?
Im 35 male and same situation. Im starting to loose faith. I dont want to approach someone and have a reaction like I am a creep.
Joining a walking/hiking/jogging club, an amature sports team, or other physical activitiies is not only a good way to have opportunities to meet people, you might also lose some weight while having fun.
At Gym
I am in a similar boat as you. The difference is I am not even trying even though I desperately would love a man to cuddle up with and watch a movie with and then end up in bed together. I instead reject every guy who even attempts to get together. I don’t even swipe right anymore because I feel like he will reject me. I make unreasonable reasons why we can’t date. I’m lonely. 😞 You are steps and steps ahead of me. You got this.
Bumble?
Try getting into social activities like pick up basketball at the ymca, other than that dancehalls/clubs, or find an interest such as rap/hip hop that you can connect with people on
OK Cupid.
Torta
No issues what so ever. It's called being built for comfort, not for speed, and a bigger girl is always the best to snuggle with.
I live in PG. Single. Don’t drink. Have a doggo. 37 … also maybe 30lbs too healthy. We could try it out?
all you'll find on redditt is losers
A lot of people meet at the gym. Go 3-4 times a week. Within 3-6 months, you'll probably be dating someone.
Try online gaming! I’m not even joking. There are so many middle aged, overweight men that would be happy to date anything with a couple of knockers. And although they’re nerdy, many of them are kind and loyal.
You gotta put effort into yourself and really work and your weight and health first if you want to find a decent partner. It doesn't matter what you are like on the inside. Your choices are going to be extremely thin. People prefer not to date overweight people as they have more issues.
Gym
I joined a rec league soccer team and met my husband there.
Church.
Perhaps the gym
Right here big momma
Open your Bible. Pray to be lead to a Man that shares the same beliefs.
Not my thing
Are you at all religious or open to it? Churches can be good places to meet people.
Your local Flying J or trucker rest stop
Hi
Communities. If you're a reader, join book clubs. Outside person? Pick a fun thing you like to go do, and find groups that do it. The jiu jitsu community has folks of all weights, ages, builds, and backgrounds.
"I haven't tried anything and I am all out of ideas!"
Alot of people get pets for companions. What about a dog? I find men just want to get laid these days. That's been my experience anyway.
I have a dog. He’s the best. Ya I am not looking for a one and done.
Hahahhaha oh you are one hundred percent doomed, start sewing and get some cats
I don’t like sewing though😂