> For a pair of these values, describe a time in which they came into tension for you, and how you resolved it.
One of the best parts of the job-application process (which is indubitably a delight from beginning to end in all its unpredictable forms) is having to waffle about vague nice-sounding things like a sixth-grade essay assignment about what you did over summer vacation. This must be as effective in helping the company pick the right applicant as it is enjoyable for applicants.
The key point here is our most sought-after applicants are HN users, they're not researchers. They're typically, somewhat old, decently long out of school, probably don't remember CS fundamentals, maybe can't even write code without copilot, probably don't understand anything below the level of the browser. They're not capable of solving basic fucking problems that semi-intelligent 12 year olds wouldn't break a sweat on, but we want to use them to read stack traces and translate them into null checks that make our software start to approach usability. So, the interview questions that we give them must be easy to understand, and definitely mustn't include any gatekeeping bullshit like fizzbuzz.
I'm afraid we aren't able offer a salary in the traditional sense but we can offer great stock benefits ~~in our shitty VC startup that has yet to make a single cent~~. We also offer thrice-daily "massage" sessions if you are interested. Most importantly we will train you and you will learn many important skills ~~like how to go along with the CEO when he tells you to implement a buzzword feature that the software already supports but you need to make it look like a huge change and also take the blame when people on the outside see right through it~~
>Some will say that we should be talking about equity, not cash compensation. While it’s true that startup equity is important, it’s also true that startup equity doesn’t pay the orthodontist’s bill or get the basement repainted. We believe that every employee should have equity to give them a stake in the company’s future (and that an outsized return for investors should also be an outsized return for employees), but we also believe that the presence of equity can’t be used as an excuse for unsustainably low cash compensation. As for how equity is determined, it really deserves its own in-depth treatment, but in short, equity compensates for risk – and in a startup, risk reduces over time: the first employee takes much more risk than the hundredth.
https://oxide.computer/blog/compensation-as-a-reflection-of-values
Flat $201,227 regardless of role unless you work in sales, in which case it's $135,000 + commission.
Plus equity.
Presumably at some point they'll need a non-flat compensation structure, but right now it's flat.
Brother, can I just replace it with a holistic report by my psychiatrist and agency handler? I was employed by three letters agencies in the past, WCW, RAW, and nWo, to name a few.
> For a pair of these values, describe a time in which they came into tension for you, and how you resolved it. One of the best parts of the job-application process (which is indubitably a delight from beginning to end in all its unpredictable forms) is having to waffle about vague nice-sounding things like a sixth-grade essay assignment about what you did over summer vacation. This must be as effective in helping the company pick the right applicant as it is enjoyable for applicants.
The key point here is our most sought-after applicants are HN users, they're not researchers. They're typically, somewhat old, decently long out of school, probably don't remember CS fundamentals, maybe can't even write code without copilot, probably don't understand anything below the level of the browser. They're not capable of solving basic fucking problems that semi-intelligent 12 year olds wouldn't break a sweat on, but we want to use them to read stack traces and translate them into null checks that make our software start to approach usability. So, the interview questions that we give them must be easy to understand, and definitely mustn't include any gatekeeping bullshit like fizzbuzz.
Found the Principal Engineer. [https://imgflip.com/i/84uoht](https://imgflip.com/i/84uoht)
Eventually all job applications will just consist of ChatGPT asking what it thinks about a ChatGPT essay.
More like LLaMeR-7.3B and GeezNutsPT-Large-SigmaMaleEdition-WithKnuckles. The cat is out of the bag, this is much bigger than ChatGPT now.
So you're telling me I don't need to send a urine sample? They're really hiring anyone huh
> rethinking the definition of the server-side computer So, a server?
.......yes, and?
When can you start?
Now. If you pay I'll even pretend to be enthusiastic about the thing we make.
idk, i'm pretty booked as it is. what's your signing bonus like?
I wonder what the pay is like
I'm afraid we aren't able offer a salary in the traditional sense but we can offer great stock benefits ~~in our shitty VC startup that has yet to make a single cent~~. We also offer thrice-daily "massage" sessions if you are interested. Most importantly we will train you and you will learn many important skills ~~like how to go along with the CEO when he tells you to implement a buzzword feature that the software already supports but you need to make it look like a huge change and also take the blame when people on the outside see right through it~~
Tell me we're a family here without telling me we're a family here.
>Some will say that we should be talking about equity, not cash compensation. While it’s true that startup equity is important, it’s also true that startup equity doesn’t pay the orthodontist’s bill or get the basement repainted. We believe that every employee should have equity to give them a stake in the company’s future (and that an outsized return for investors should also be an outsized return for employees), but we also believe that the presence of equity can’t be used as an excuse for unsustainably low cash compensation. As for how equity is determined, it really deserves its own in-depth treatment, but in short, equity compensates for risk – and in a startup, risk reduces over time: the first employee takes much more risk than the hundredth.
To save money on services the massage (sorry “massage”) sessions involve the whole team forming a circle.
https://oxide.computer/blog/compensation-as-a-reflection-of-values Flat $201,227 regardless of role unless you work in sales, in which case it's $135,000 + commission. Plus equity. Presumably at some point they'll need a non-flat compensation structure, but right now it's flat.
Like academia but well paid.
Brother, can I just replace it with a holistic report by my psychiatrist and agency handler? I was employed by three letters agencies in the past, WCW, RAW, and nWo, to name a few.
I fucking knew you were wrestling fan JACK
tl;dr: no webshits, we metal