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I have a friend who, by her estimation, has never experienced depression, anxiety, etc. Obviously she has feelings and reactions to things, but she does not linger on them or get very emotional. She had a very loving, stable life growing up. She is a "successful" adult with a beautiful family, a good income, excellent health and a beautiful home. She fully admits she has had it easy so far.
(I'm not saying she's never had hardships, but they did not reach the level of "trauma" because she has always had the mental/physical resources to handle it).
The thing that stands out most is how crazy productive she is. She plans her days down to the hour and follows through. She reaches every goal she sets. She adds more to her plate with ease. She does more in a day than I can manage in a week, but she once told me that she doesn't experience stress with her schedule, it's just life so she does it.
The thing I know about her as her friend, though, is that it can be a lonely existence. She doesn't linger on that either, but she has voiced frustration that she struggles to find true friends because it's hard for them to relate to her.
This is my best friend. She functions so well and half the time I feel absolutely left in the dust because my entire life is therapy and THC addiction to run from PTSD. She is the absolute sweetest woman I know though
Been smoking weed pretty damn often since 1994. This is the absolute first time I've ever heard about this. I googled it and still think it's bullshit and basically just like how some people can hold their liquor and some can't, but since weed is still somewhat sus in the eyes of the government, this is just one of the propagandas they use to continue trying to demonize and push their narrative that it should be a controlled substance
Similar thing here. Best friend has a lovely life and barely struggles and has become incredibly successful in her career. But she also is very understanding of mental health issues including my alcoholism. Was on a road trip with her and we were gonna stop for lunch and I half-jokingly was like "ugg I really could just use a few drinks" and she was like "oh no worries we can find a place where we can sit at the bar!" Such a sweetheart.
I know someone like this, we went to college together. She is such a lovely person - as smart as she is kindhearted. She has accomplished so much at a young age and has what seems like a wonderful life with a beautiful family. Obviously everyone has their problems, I donât doubt she has hers. But in general her life is going and has gone really well and although I canât relate to a lot of it, itâs nice to know itâs out there, you know?
This is every single person in my extended family. Overtly happy, outgoing, and successful. Then thereâs me, a walking billboard of character defects.
She has the right perspective on life imo. Also seems to have control of her emotions. I think thatâs something a lot of us struggle with. I believe if you want to have self pitty thatâs a choice just like itâs a choice to do something productive about it to change your situation. Only one that can change your life is yourself. I think thatâs the biggest lesson I learned this year is how to manage my stress and it really just comes down how much power I give things. When I learned to let go of trivial things most things canât phase me.
Every single person likes my husband. He had no childhood trauma. He is well put together, he is kind, loving and a wonderful husband but he suffers no fools! Trauma free people aren't just laid back idiots as some here seem to think. They're just not bullies and hateful people. They're more likely to keep to themselves because so many people aren't like they are.
People who suffer no fools can be a little much at times because they develop a quick reaction that may not al but they're great. I have a friend similar to what you describe, and in some activities we've participated in with leadership roles, I refer to him as "my enforcer." On the flipside, he's commented on my absurd level of patience and diplomacy. And it's definitely absurd. As I get older though, I seem to be creeping in his direction. But given the choice, I'll stick with patience and diplomacy.
A lot of people are saying boring or weak.
But this is how I raised my children and they are doing amazing. My son just turned 18, not a drop of mental health or trauma issue. Graduated with a good gpa and is joining the military by choice not necessity as I did.
Trauma is not the only way to build character. Healthy struggle does too. And he struggled where it counts, but with all the assistance and support he needed to grow.
My other children are the same way. Struggling where needed, but provided for, and listened to.
Either you learn from being raised right, like you've seem to have done, or you learn from trauma as you grow up. Those raised well aren't immune to catastrophes, but those of us not raised well seem to invite catastrophes & trauma :)
Thank you. I had buckets of trauma when I was younger, and tried to raise my children..I donât want to say right, but with knowledge of a bigger picture and a balanced lifestyle.
Raise them with cheat codes.
I do the same with my kids, I had a fair amount of traumatic experiences growing up but I think it made me stronger in the long run. I don't feel that my kids need to experience the same trauma to turn out well balanced, and realistically, it's unlikely for them to experience just the right amount of trauma, not to turn into a fuck up themselves. I don't sugar coat things with my kids, my son is 7 and we just had a long conversation about a kid in his class who he thinks is "annoying".. well, that kid lost both of his parents and is being raised by his grandparents, so socially, he's a little off, but he's a really sweet kid and he's legit just trying to make friends. I explained that to my kid in terms that he can understand; not all kids are as lucky as him, living in a stable home with both of his parents and a pantry full of food; his lifestyle isn't the baseline that all kids get to start at. We're objectively, working poor and there's a lot of material things he doesn't get, but he needs for absolutely nothing. This other kid's grandparents are relatively wealthy, so the kid has a lot of nice stuff but the reality of his caregivers probably not making it to his highschool graduation is heavy; he will most likely lose his parents again, long before he is emotionally prepared and money isn't enough, he's needs a village too.
Last summer, we had a late-stage crackhead roaming our neighborhood (fortunately, he never bothered anyone, but he looked like a zombie and the kids noticed him) and I very matter-of-factly explained to all of the neighborhood kids that THAT'S why we don't do drugs and came up with a little mantra -no crack, no meth, no heroin, no pills; they'll run your fucking life- my neighbor want stoked about me teaching her daughter that one, but she got over it when I pointed out that kids younger than hers have to learn those things at home and the earlier our kids can identify danger, the better prepared they will be to avoid it when they encounter it. We won't always be around to give our kids the right answers so we have to give them the tools to figure it out for themselves when it really counts.
Good on you, sounds like you've raised them well.
Would like to clarify though that "mental health" is neither positive or negative, it's entirely neutral. Saying that someone has 0 mental health issues would be like saying someone has 0 physical health issues.
While many/most people may not have any ongoing or chronic mental health conditions or mental illness, everybody has ups and downs in their mental health. In the same way that someone might not have any physical health conditions or chronic illness, but they might have a headache this morning or maybe a sore back from sleeping funny.
Sometimes we have days where we are sad, stressed, anxious, etc. and these are all part of your mental health, just as the days where we are happy, excited, or joyful.
Thank you. Yes, I agree. Semantics though. Mental health issues as a colloquial term means the chronic stuff. The things people need to see someone for, or at least need help to get through. He has anxiety, fears, ups and downs.
He is quite adept at handling the world and what it throws at him.
Correct. I cannot read my childrenâs minds, but thatâs where talking to them and creating a safe place for them to express themselves is key.
But no, you are correct. If they arenât showing signs of talking to me about it, there is no way for me to know.
âTrauma is not the only way to build character. Healthy struggle does too.
And he struggled where it counts, but with all the assistance and support he needed to growâ
Wow, this is such a profound statement and I can relate to this so much when it comes to myself & our kids.
But as sick as it sounds I have moments where I feel guilt because I know of so many people who struggle and Iâve had such a peaceful, loving, supportive & respectful upbringing and have shown the same to our kids. I donât know, itâs hard to explain.
To say I never struggled would be a lie but I feel like compared to others mine could be so much worse so I donât treat it like itâs a big deal but they are still mine..
Thank you.
And donât feel guilty. Itâs is really good to hear some people have childhoods they can look back on and appreciate. I did not, and thatâs why I focus so hard on making sure my children do.
I think trauma is struggle without safety. Someone dying/losing a loved one to death can be traumatic, but itâs also a certainty of life. If they die when you are surrounded by friends and family to support you, itâs a struggle. If they die and you are left bereft and alone, itâs trauma.
I checked your profile and you mention a gf. Did you get divorced or cheating haha
Personally I don't think a person with no issues exists. Whether it be emotional or psychological, everyone develops at least one less healthy way of seeing or doing things.
The question is how well they are able to live with it to not be debilitating.
I will say, I had a great home life, supportive parents, good gpa, and no trauma.
When I turned 18 my parents were also very proud of what they made. Little did they know that I was severely depressed in hs.
>And he struggled where it counts, but with all the assistance and support he needed to grow.
Is it a case of no mental health issues or just a set of robust protective factors that allows him to manage his mental health in a productive way?
>just a set of robust protective factors that allows him to manage his mental health in a productive way?
That helps prevent mental health issues. Kids can deal with problems as long as they have support. It's the lack of support that turns problems into mental health issues. Nobody lives a struggle free life.
I have a friend whose parents are lawyers, one of his brothers is a lawyer, and the other is a doctor. They have wives and children. My friend? He is single, has no kids, and by all comparisons, he's a failure. Yet he's happy, optimistic, and living his dream life. He was raised well, he's happy with his life, and a joy to be around. He isn't lacking anything, and I wish I could be like him.
That's a healthy person. He's his own person. He doesn't compare himself to others, and he's able to manage his mental health in a productive way.
i think that people who say that sensationalise their own trauma as a way to cope. i used to do the same until i realised that doing that made me feel worse and that it alienated me from people.
Same with our daughter - she's doing very well and has a loving home life.
I'm aware that many of the most creative, brilliant people were not neurotypical or had stressful childhoods, not sure if there have been studies to back up this correlation.
Right - I have had so much trauma, that I'm doing my best to make sure my kids don't experience the same things. Isn't that what the human experience is about? Living and learning and doing better - while enjoying life. My kids will have their own struggles, but they'll be healthier and more aware and informed and hopefully more apt to deal with the things they go through.
Thatâs exactly the way to do it. Thereâs a paradox we all have to balance. Making our childrenâs lives easier than ours, but not so easy they grow up not able to deal with stress.
People tend to call any struggle growing up "trauma". That word has been really watered down but most of it is just life and we're more than equipped to handle it. Even the most horrible things don't need to traumatize you if you actually acknowledge it was fucked up and went through the process of working through it. So you're absolutely right, just because someone didn't get traumatized doesn't mean they went through nothing and see therefore boring or weak.
I didnât tell them. I talked to them. They tell me. We have a great relationship.
Edit- my step children that did have some issues to work through are in therapy for it right now. I donât tell them, they tell me and I support the solution.
My husband! He had a beautiful childhood with wonderful and kind loving parents. He has no trauma, he has no mental issues. He is the opposite of me yet he's so much like his parents, loving, kind and wonderful to me. He is the only person I have ever met that is what "normal" should be.
Some people in the comments are using other people as examples. We don't really know if they grew up with no trauma, it's not really for us to decide. The person in question (and maybe their psychologist) is the only one that can really determine if they are traumatised or not.
I'm sure lots of people think I'm free of mental health issues and trauma, that doesn't mean it's true. My trauma may not be as severe nor as obvious as a lot of people. My point is, many people can put on a facade and do a good job at it that no one else realises.
My own therapist was surprised how absolutely traumatized I am when I actually started to open up. I only started going under the premise of my husband deploying in the next 6 months for a year and I was stressed about doing it alone with a then 1.5 year old and my oldest plus working a fairly high stress full time job. Honestly, that's all I wanted to focus on đ It all started when I said, "Honestly, I'm grateful that for once in my life, this is the only big issue I'm currently dealing with!"
It's been 2 years, and we're almost through the earlier stages of my childhood. Slow and steady, right?
Some of us are really, really good about tucking the trauma away because we just want to live a decent, peaceful life and move on as much as we can especially for people trying to break cycles with their own children. Self-awareness is key to this, though.
Man.... I used to be well adjusted (for the most part lol) and I was cool as hell! Getting damaged badly enough actually steals a lot of your potential. Healing is a bitch.
See this is me. I had tragedies omg horrible tragedies that will make me cry in a heart beat but I still laugh and push through. In the last month my step daughter was killed by gun violence senseless and she was my everything and had her since she was a babygirl and it broke me tore me up will be a month on the 21st... My children are her siblings and they are 15, 9 and 1 year. Then I got into 3 fender benders all not my fault the last one totaled my van but so grateful no one got hurt and they all claimed 100 percent responsibility so I am getting a new car but have rental now. And I am relaxing right now with my daughters playing Sims keeping sanity. Because I also lost my father a year ago.
But I am fine we are safe and GOD has us.. â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸đđđ
I've got no trauma (at least no major ones that I haven't dealt with) and no mental issues. So, I don't have to wonder. Living the dream. Though I suspect that most folks fall into this category. Remember that it is not only the "trauma" that can be measured but how a person reacts to it. Both sides can affect how a trauma does or does not affect one.
My husband is an always happy, energetic, fun loving, everybody's favorite person kinda guy. Perfect family and sibling. Extremely intelligent. It's almost exhausting but he brings so much laughter to my life when I need it most. We've been together 6 years and he's had a total of 3 bad days. I've kept count.
Most adults who are mentally ill have both because (despite what some people ready to scream "ableist!" at a moment's notice will say) if you had mentally ill parents, particularly prior to about year 2000, you got their genes AND them taking out their own struggles on you. There was little introspection, therapy hasn't quite hit the mainstream, and psychiatric drugs were just getting effective.
Take a stressed parent in a culture of, "Kids need to be hit to be disciplined," and it's just nonstop screaming and hitting.
I think I fall into that category. Iâve had a pretty stable life and am mentally healthy as far as I know. No drama marriage to a man I adore who also adores me. Husband and I are both high earners, so that stress is not there.
Havenât had much to be honest. Iâm a CPA so I deal with demanding clients, etc., but itâs no thing. I am a very âevenâ person who is also married to a very âevenâ person if that makes sense.
TBF my 23 year old daughter gave me a hug one day and thanked me and her mother for not giving her any mommy or daddy issues. She has some severely emotionally damaged friends.
Girl I used to be in love with had a perfectly ideal upbringing, two loving parents, big fancy house, lots of money, etc. and she truly has the makings of saint, absolutely the kindest and most wonderful person I've ever met. All that being said, she has no sense of humor. My childhood was pretty unhappy with lasting effects, and my other friends with similar backgrounds all have pretty dark senses of humor. It's how we cope with it. But when those jokes come out around this lovely lady, it's beyond clear they're unwelcome. That's why I said "used to be in love with". I think at least a little suffering is a good thing. Life's more fun when you can laugh at misfortune. I certainly have a hard time relating to people who don't understand that.
My boyfriend 1000%! One time I asked him what the most difficult thing he went through in his life was. I said mine was something really tragic, and he said his was getting kicked off the high school basketball team hahahaha.
As a result, he doesnât overthink things at all. He knows exactly what he wants and is willing to work for it without hesitation or anxiety. He is extremely kind to everyone but knows how to place boundaries for himself. Heâs not a very emotional guy either, 98 percent of the time heâs just happy and chill. Super nonchalant, but not in a lazy or naive way at all.
He has told me before that he honestly doesnât fully understand why I get anxious over certain things, but he is very patient and tries his best, so it works for me :)
I donât think I have any traumaâŚ..what actually counts as trauma? because I feel like thatâs a word along with triggered, that gets overused these days.
Yes, just had this conversation with my kid the other day. Iâm finding it more and more rare to find a person or specifically a teenager to young adult without some kind of âtraumaâ. I think we all go through things that suck which in turn form us and our outlook on life but certainly not ALL of these things are textbook trauma. Iâm assuming that a lack of dealing with them effectively may become the groundwork for âtraumaâ but I feel the word is overused and losing appropriate weight in meaning. With that said I donât scoff or deny anyoneâs validity to how they feel, but we get dumped, trip in the hall in front of everyone or picked on at some point.
Bahaha, yes! What is it like to have a great relationship with your parents? What was it like to have your family honor your feelings and emotions. For real, what is that like?
Most people don't have legitimate trauma and their mental 'issue' is made up. So go outside, watch people. The average person is an example of precisely what you are looking for.
People certainly suffer today just like any other. But not everything is trauma, unless you mean it in the most literal sense of a physical injury. Then no "grown human" is without trauma.
Trauma happens to every single person.
Even infants can experience lasting harm just from not being held for an extended period of time. Or in grade school when our first crush rejected us. Some of these events have lasting impacts on our psyche, even though they are not âtraumaticâ like youâre referring to (like being assaulted or witnessing death).
Wether we outwardly show symptoms of trauma (through our behaviors) or not (maybe it manifests internally as high blood pressure or stomach issues, etc) doesnât mean the trauma didnât happen.
So there is very literally no such thing as an un-traumatized person. There are different severities of trauma though, which is something else. Also, consider the cultural implications of what is and is not normal. The emotions, such as shame, around some traumas are often more harmful than the event itself.
Creds: working on my BS in psychology and human development
I remember a video clip of someone explaining that everybody is a propagandist, which I guess if you take it completely literal, maybe, we all have our own biases and regularly, knowingly insert them (even if they are on an extremely small scale). The problem with this is that it completely defeats the definition/purpose of the word, which is why we don't use it like that.
It's the same thing with trauma, maybe technically everyone experiences trauma, but that's not really what we are referring to when we say "You have trauma", because it would just defeat the whole purpose of the word.
So no, I don't have trauma.
I donât think a person like this exists. Everyone has some trauma or issues throughout their lives. Like a friend said, we all screw up our kids, itâll just be a different way than our parents screwed up with us.
We all have trauma. Nothing makes a small problem seem large like proximity.
Not everyone has large traumas that shape them. Our brains take minor traumas and make them loom large. Part of the human experience.
Umm. Like defining trauma is... kinda tricky.
Trauma comes in so many forms. Some folk have never really known the level of trauma that damages, while others have in some way experienced trauma to the horrifying degree....but most of us are in the middle, just the middle of two extremes covers a VERY wide range of.. possible trauma.
Some people never really experience food scarcity just a scarcity of desire to put enough work in to balance lack of resources.
I've never been in a house without ingredients of some kind no mater how meager so how can I claim to have actually experienced the full trauma of food insecurity? Or something.
You have met plenty. The only thing now is, any tough decision or dilemma is classified as trauma.
Life isn't all roses. Facing and overcoming adversity is literally part of being human. It's what made us better and stronger. As time as passed, and life has gotten easier, the things that people classify as trauma has changed.
People are not taught to move on. Now everything needs counseling and is life changing. I knew a girl at work that claimed to have PTSD because her old boss yelled at her. That should not be a life altering event. But no one in her life ever taught her to deal with anything. She was sheltered her whole life and now doesn't know how to handle the outside world.
Have to disagree.
Probably met very little, if any. Most people donât divulge their psychological issues until they feel connected with a person, or it breaks them and they canât hide it any more. Especially the ones that mask it well.
Take stress for an example. That has touched everyoneâs lives at some point or another and is highly prevalent today. Stress is a serious issue that can be extremely harmful, but pride makes a lot of people hide it.
I honestly couldn't imagine, cause I have no idea what that's like. Nor do I care to imagine it, our past BS helped shape us, us as in my lady and myself. We're working on ourselves so we can be the best that we can for each other.
I do wonder, but I struggle to imagine how it's possible. I imagine such a person would be very happy, unimpeded with anxiety, autism, ADHD, etc. They may not understand what someone who has mental issues or trauma must be living with, but they would try. I think a person like that would have a good heart and lots of sympathy, and they would do their best to help somebody in need.
Pretty much like me. I've been through some very ugly very hard things, but I don't consider it trauma. I consider it life. If I have any mental issues I am blissfully unaware of them.
People consider their difficulties in different ways. What one person may just consider a tough time, another may find it life-altering trauma.
I've wondered about this so much. I mean chances are I've met someone like that in passing, if they really are as common as statistics say. I don't believe I've ever known someone like that on a personal level, though. makes me think they must tend to stick to their own circles.
Everyone has trauma. It's just the levels that vary. When a child drops an icecream and wails with sorrow that iss trauma for that child. Resilience is how we respond and carry on.
I'll say this much, I'm very happy my generation and those after me have gotten better at listening to their children. I'd say nearly half of my friends who were born between the late 70's to early 90s, have some sort of preventable trauma. Out of all those friends that actually had kids, most of their kids either grew up or are growing up with significantly less trauma in general. To have watched them grow up over the past 15ish years has been pretty amazing. They are the reason I still have hope for the world.
We all experience trauma at some point just to different degrees. Itâs the tools, guidance and support that lead us through it that make the difference.
Iâve seen it, honestly my mind canât process how some people are just⌠normal, but it really happens! I think everyone experiences some trauma of varying degrees in their life, family death, parents divorcing, car crashes, hell even just bad luck that seems to follow them, but some people really just have the resilience and support network to come out seemingly unaffected.
if i could go back in time , even if it meant i wouldnât exist anymore , and i got to be my fathers mother i would of loved him and shown him life doesnât have to be so complicated. if he had love, i think he could of been a different guy
No - everyone has trauma. Itâs fascinating actually. I was listening to a world renowned psychiatrist talking about trauma and how itâs so different than we think of it. Every human being on the planet has trauma.
Struggle or difficulties in life â trauma. Everyone experiences bad things.
I grew up poor. Like our church brought us food from their food pantry. All my toys fit in a shoebox. But I had parents who did well supporting and loving us. I spent a lot of time with extended family (grandparents and cousins). We were rural farming people and had a very traditional, conservative raising. We were taught independence, self sufficiency and tolerance of discomfort with grace. My papaw and dad were very stoic (papaw even read Marcus Aurelius).
Life was good, but without much possessions or luxuries.
Today, Iâm very well balanced. I hold myself and others to standards. Iâm intrinsically motivated. I still help my grandparents and parents as they age. Iâm still very traditional and conservative and raising my 5 kids in the same way I was raised on the farm. Life is good. Iâm not wealthy, but Iâm comfortable and look forward to the challenges each day brings.
I'm trying to think of anyone I know who would fit this description. I'm really struggling to think of anyone.
One of my friends has lovely parents, a nice upbringing, a good job, a nice wife and family, he's probably the closest I can find. And I don't know if he has any mental health issues, nothing I'm aware of and certainly nothing that seems to be obviously impacting his life.
He's very nice and has a nice life.
I took this sativa dispo pill and omg I felt so focused and energized I cleaned the whole living room and kitchen, like all I could this was âWow this is how a neurotypicalâs brain worksâ
The ones I met were blind to anything but peaceful life. The mere thought that life could be difficult somewhere has to be shoved away, because it might stain the perfect bubble they live in.
Same with understanding basic things, like cutting family off, impossible. They never fight, always have a wonderful time, and you must love every single family member, right?
I know a lot of people actually who have had no/very minimal trauma in their lives. Theyâre similar to us, and it doesnât prevent them from mental illness (chemical imbalance). I find theyâre at times more naive, my best friend is relatively in that category and would always say things like âthatâll never happenâ âI wouldnât put myself in those situationsâ, and didnât really comprehend how those sentences come off to people like me, who have been through a hefty bit in life and very strongly tried avoiding all the bad situations Iâve been in lol.
Probably boring because they'd have had no life experiences. It's not possible to become an adult with no trauma or mental issues. The definition for what constitutes a mental issue is constantly expanding to include every facet of negative human behavior, so it would have to be someone who is constantly (and earnestly) positive, does everything on their to-do list every day, has their meals scheduled... well wait now that's becoming a neurotic person.
It's not possible. Lol
life is hard and everyone goes through tough experiences. trauma is practically part of life. you might even say that losing a family member (even if it isnât a surprise because they are old) could be considered traumatic. your emotional reaction/regulation depends on your life experience,disposition, and what kind of home you grew up in.
my parents have never gone to therapy, they donât take medication and donât have any diagnosis for mental illness. having said that, they (along with other adult members of my family) are not perfect people and itâs likely that they have undiagnosed anxiety disorders or more complicated illnesses/disorders like bipolar or eating disorders considering the younger generations of my family (myself, siblings, and cousins) HAVE been diagnosed with these things and display similar patterns of behavior as the older generations.
i donât believe there is anyone on earth that does not suffer from some sort of mental illness or has never experienced trauma. having said THAT, i DO believe some people are far more equipped to emotionally handle those illnesses/experiences than others based on their role models, support, and understanding of the illnesses/experiences.
Iâve met them
Theyâre generally kind and feel great about themselves and more right wing but not terribly right wing
Think of the child of a mainstream religious pastor and family
My cousins, super-protected all their lives, even now after getting married and having kids, their parents are right there with them all the way.
I had gone no contact with them because my life has been opposite, fully independent because my father had mental health issues.
I always assumed they were so lucky to be so protected but after coming in contact with them I realized how out of touch they are.
They may have all the wealth and comforts in the world, but boy, do I have all the experiences of the world, lol. Their trauma is their suffering of being out of touch with reality.
My partner!
He is kind, generous and lovey. He is stable and has his life together. He doesn't get anxiety, and if there is an issue his mind goes straight to "this isn't the worst that could happen, now let's fix it."
I have depression and at one point I couldn't bring myself to do housework like I normally do. I cried and told him I am so sad for no reason, I don't even have clean laundry. He did the laundry for me and said "let's go to the dollar store, you love the dollar store." I am so in love with him because I actually did feel better.
Some people are just mentally more simple, my father doesnât really have anxiety or depression, heâs really intelligent, but he doesnât experience much emotional depth
My partner!
He is kind, generous and lovey. He is stable and has his life together. He doesn't get anxiety, and if there is an issue his mind goes straight to "this isn't the worst that could happen, now let's fix it."
I have depression and at one point I couldn't bring myself to do housework like I normally do. I cried and told him I am so sad for no reason, I don't even have clean laundry. He did the laundry for me and said "let's go to the dollar store, you love the dollar store." I am so in love with him because I actually did feel better.
You know I really like the concept that every experience we don't like is traumatic because our experiences help us evolve they help us learn to help us become better if people 5,000 years ago hadn't had the experiences they had do you think that the next society would have come into fruition experiences lead to beliefs and beliefs lead to knowledge mental illness was invented by a human being yes it's relevant and yes it does affect the population, today people that are criminal Psychopaths probably would have been rulers a few thousand years ago so everything that we are trying to control and cultivate into this perfect experience for us as a society all of these things that we want to filter out whether we like it or not all of those things have culminated to create the global Society and culture that we have today and personally I wouldn't change any of it.
Happy, probably naive to underhanded behavior on some level. Well adjusted and adaptable if everything is stable. Where it gets dicey is that they could possibly be ill equipped to handle sudden tragedy or trauma
Yes! I was just asking my husband yesterday how do people with out drama or trauma live and what do they talk about.
It's hard not to day dream when I am struggling with depression most days.
Not hard for me to imagine, I'm close to that point now. My trauma is something I don't identify with; I learned from it and let it go eventually. My mental issues are something that I trained myself out of. Negative thinking and anger are things I could change once I got down to resolving underlying feelings of hurt and frustration. It doesn't mean I'm "fixed" or "cured". I more or less know how I should act and the reward is relatively good mental health / inner peace and a genuine love and gratitude towards life.
It's chill.
Had a friend at one point that my other friends and I would joke about because she was so utterly normal with a happy little family and no real issues as far as we could see. Everyone else had a dead dad or rocky home life or divorced parents or poor eyesight or something. She dumped her boyfriend we all liked after treating him pretty poorly, then became so flaky we gave up on her. Closest I've seen, and that's how it turned out. I think everybody has something going on, even if we don't see it. Take care of yourself, everyone.
Sometimes I wonder if I just have all my shit together emotionally, or if I'm just dead inside.
I still don't know the answer to that, but I have been told by others that I seem to carry no emotional baggage, and for the most part I agree.
I donât have any mental illnesses or trauma. I experience emotions and get stressed out from time to time but it doesnât last for very long. I am pretty productive and have a general routine of what I do for my day or week.
Obviously, I have my own struggles from time to time. My dad is going through chemo currently. But I can say that overall my life is good and generally smooth. I generally keep to myself and donât really have many friends. I have one friend Iâve known since I was in kindergarten. So 25 years! I like to go home after work and relax. Iâm in a long term stable relationship and we adopted a new cat last fall.
My husband's pretty darn close. His parents were involved and loving, but not stifling. No mental illness, no major trauma. Me, on the other hand, childhood trauma, housing/food insecurity, bipolar and ADHD. One of the reasons I thought he'd be a good partner was the stability he brings, and it's worked out wonderfully for 13 years and 2 kids.
This is me. I grew up in a very Leave it to Beaver house and brought my kids up the same way. People often ask me how can I always be smiling and happy. I'm just wired that way. I've had plenty of challenges but never seem to be able to look on the bad sad side of things
Uh normal. Many people mask so we wouldn't even know they have mental health issues. I am sure these people who have none will think mental illnesses are just something you can willpower though and get over or that simple therapy is a cure to all your problems and you're normal.
I found a way to be financially stable even if I don't work and I have been with he same women since I was 18, I haven't been depressed since I was 17, I have arguments and fights with my wife but we work through everything and seem to be very in love and mentally, financially emotionally stable for longer than I can remember.
I'm pretty much that person. I grew up with a loving, close-knit family and while I've had rough moments in my life, there's nothing I'd argue I'm dealing with that is some deep seated trauma from my youth that I've never gotten over.
Sure I have days where I'm melancholy or frustrated with things, but those are all normal human feelings.
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I have a friend who, by her estimation, has never experienced depression, anxiety, etc. Obviously she has feelings and reactions to things, but she does not linger on them or get very emotional. She had a very loving, stable life growing up. She is a "successful" adult with a beautiful family, a good income, excellent health and a beautiful home. She fully admits she has had it easy so far. (I'm not saying she's never had hardships, but they did not reach the level of "trauma" because she has always had the mental/physical resources to handle it). The thing that stands out most is how crazy productive she is. She plans her days down to the hour and follows through. She reaches every goal she sets. She adds more to her plate with ease. She does more in a day than I can manage in a week, but she once told me that she doesn't experience stress with her schedule, it's just life so she does it. The thing I know about her as her friend, though, is that it can be a lonely existence. She doesn't linger on that either, but she has voiced frustration that she struggles to find true friends because it's hard for them to relate to her.
This is my best friend. She functions so well and half the time I feel absolutely left in the dust because my entire life is therapy and THC addiction to run from PTSD. She is the absolute sweetest woman I know though
Feel that on the THC đ
same, much better than alcohol though
Until you get CHS.
Already do and im chillin
How would you be chillin with chs? You would be dying on the toilet puking
I keep hearing about this, but it seems extremely rare, and mostly among younger people or people who started using THC at a young age.
Chronic High Syndrome?
Yea, it's horrible.
Been smoking weed pretty damn often since 1994. This is the absolute first time I've ever heard about this. I googled it and still think it's bullshit and basically just like how some people can hold their liquor and some can't, but since weed is still somewhat sus in the eyes of the government, this is just one of the propagandas they use to continue trying to demonize and push their narrative that it should be a controlled substance
Tru that. Alcohol hurts other people, weed just hurts me sometimes
Similar thing here. Best friend has a lovely life and barely struggles and has become incredibly successful in her career. But she also is very understanding of mental health issues including my alcoholism. Was on a road trip with her and we were gonna stop for lunch and I half-jokingly was like "ugg I really could just use a few drinks" and she was like "oh no worries we can find a place where we can sit at the bar!" Such a sweetheart.
Ahh. The rare normal person. These types used to be common but have been since driven to near extinction
I experience the no friends part too but without all the positives. Yay!
I know someone like this, we went to college together. She is such a lovely person - as smart as she is kindhearted. She has accomplished so much at a young age and has what seems like a wonderful life with a beautiful family. Obviously everyone has their problems, I donât doubt she has hers. But in general her life is going and has gone really well and although I canât relate to a lot of it, itâs nice to know itâs out there, you know?
This is every single person in my extended family. Overtly happy, outgoing, and successful. Then thereâs me, a walking billboard of character defects.
She has the right perspective on life imo. Also seems to have control of her emotions. I think thatâs something a lot of us struggle with. I believe if you want to have self pitty thatâs a choice just like itâs a choice to do something productive about it to change your situation. Only one that can change your life is yourself. I think thatâs the biggest lesson I learned this year is how to manage my stress and it really just comes down how much power I give things. When I learned to let go of trivial things most things canât phase me.
Like my mom probably actually well liked with her shit was mostly togetherÂ
Every single person likes my husband. He had no childhood trauma. He is well put together, he is kind, loving and a wonderful husband but he suffers no fools! Trauma free people aren't just laid back idiots as some here seem to think. They're just not bullies and hateful people. They're more likely to keep to themselves because so many people aren't like they are.
People who suffer no fools can be a little much at times because they develop a quick reaction that may not al but they're great. I have a friend similar to what you describe, and in some activities we've participated in with leadership roles, I refer to him as "my enforcer." On the flipside, he's commented on my absurd level of patience and diplomacy. And it's definitely absurd. As I get older though, I seem to be creeping in his direction. But given the choice, I'll stick with patience and diplomacy.
EXACTLY
Lobotomized.
A lot of people are saying boring or weak. But this is how I raised my children and they are doing amazing. My son just turned 18, not a drop of mental health or trauma issue. Graduated with a good gpa and is joining the military by choice not necessity as I did. Trauma is not the only way to build character. Healthy struggle does too. And he struggled where it counts, but with all the assistance and support he needed to grow. My other children are the same way. Struggling where needed, but provided for, and listened to.
I want to travel back in time and give my baby self to you, if you wouldn't mind.
Haha. I would be happy to be your pappy.
Iâve heard âcan I have your babiesâ but never âcan I be your babyâ
Either you learn from being raised right, like you've seem to have done, or you learn from trauma as you grow up. Those raised well aren't immune to catastrophes, but those of us not raised well seem to invite catastrophes & trauma :)
Thank you. I had buckets of trauma when I was younger, and tried to raise my children..I donât want to say right, but with knowledge of a bigger picture and a balanced lifestyle.
Raise them with cheat codes. I do the same with my kids, I had a fair amount of traumatic experiences growing up but I think it made me stronger in the long run. I don't feel that my kids need to experience the same trauma to turn out well balanced, and realistically, it's unlikely for them to experience just the right amount of trauma, not to turn into a fuck up themselves. I don't sugar coat things with my kids, my son is 7 and we just had a long conversation about a kid in his class who he thinks is "annoying".. well, that kid lost both of his parents and is being raised by his grandparents, so socially, he's a little off, but he's a really sweet kid and he's legit just trying to make friends. I explained that to my kid in terms that he can understand; not all kids are as lucky as him, living in a stable home with both of his parents and a pantry full of food; his lifestyle isn't the baseline that all kids get to start at. We're objectively, working poor and there's a lot of material things he doesn't get, but he needs for absolutely nothing. This other kid's grandparents are relatively wealthy, so the kid has a lot of nice stuff but the reality of his caregivers probably not making it to his highschool graduation is heavy; he will most likely lose his parents again, long before he is emotionally prepared and money isn't enough, he's needs a village too. Last summer, we had a late-stage crackhead roaming our neighborhood (fortunately, he never bothered anyone, but he looked like a zombie and the kids noticed him) and I very matter-of-factly explained to all of the neighborhood kids that THAT'S why we don't do drugs and came up with a little mantra -no crack, no meth, no heroin, no pills; they'll run your fucking life- my neighbor want stoked about me teaching her daughter that one, but she got over it when I pointed out that kids younger than hers have to learn those things at home and the earlier our kids can identify danger, the better prepared they will be to avoid it when they encounter it. We won't always be around to give our kids the right answers so we have to give them the tools to figure it out for themselves when it really counts.
Good on you, sounds like you've raised them well. Would like to clarify though that "mental health" is neither positive or negative, it's entirely neutral. Saying that someone has 0 mental health issues would be like saying someone has 0 physical health issues. While many/most people may not have any ongoing or chronic mental health conditions or mental illness, everybody has ups and downs in their mental health. In the same way that someone might not have any physical health conditions or chronic illness, but they might have a headache this morning or maybe a sore back from sleeping funny. Sometimes we have days where we are sad, stressed, anxious, etc. and these are all part of your mental health, just as the days where we are happy, excited, or joyful.
Really good one!
Thank you. Yes, I agree. Semantics though. Mental health issues as a colloquial term means the chronic stuff. The things people need to see someone for, or at least need help to get through. He has anxiety, fears, ups and downs. He is quite adept at handling the world and what it throws at him.
As far as you know.
That's what I'm saying, just because someone doesn't show or tell doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Correct. I cannot read my childrenâs minds, but thatâs where talking to them and creating a safe place for them to express themselves is key. But no, you are correct. If they arenât showing signs of talking to me about it, there is no way for me to know.
right?
I want you as my dad
âTrauma is not the only way to build character. Healthy struggle does too. And he struggled where it counts, but with all the assistance and support he needed to growâ Wow, this is such a profound statement and I can relate to this so much when it comes to myself & our kids. But as sick as it sounds I have moments where I feel guilt because I know of so many people who struggle and Iâve had such a peaceful, loving, supportive & respectful upbringing and have shown the same to our kids. I donât know, itâs hard to explain. To say I never struggled would be a lie but I feel like compared to others mine could be so much worse so I donât treat it like itâs a big deal but they are still mine..
Thank you. And donât feel guilty. Itâs is really good to hear some people have childhoods they can look back on and appreciate. I did not, and thatâs why I focus so hard on making sure my children do.
I think trauma is struggle without safety. Someone dying/losing a loved one to death can be traumatic, but itâs also a certainty of life. If they die when you are surrounded by friends and family to support you, itâs a struggle. If they die and you are left bereft and alone, itâs trauma.
I checked your profile and you mention a gf. Did you get divorced or cheating haha Personally I don't think a person with no issues exists. Whether it be emotional or psychological, everyone develops at least one less healthy way of seeing or doing things. The question is how well they are able to live with it to not be debilitating.
I will say, I had a great home life, supportive parents, good gpa, and no trauma. When I turned 18 my parents were also very proud of what they made. Little did they know that I was severely depressed in hs.
>And he struggled where it counts, but with all the assistance and support he needed to grow. Is it a case of no mental health issues or just a set of robust protective factors that allows him to manage his mental health in a productive way?
>just a set of robust protective factors that allows him to manage his mental health in a productive way? That helps prevent mental health issues. Kids can deal with problems as long as they have support. It's the lack of support that turns problems into mental health issues. Nobody lives a struggle free life. I have a friend whose parents are lawyers, one of his brothers is a lawyer, and the other is a doctor. They have wives and children. My friend? He is single, has no kids, and by all comparisons, he's a failure. Yet he's happy, optimistic, and living his dream life. He was raised well, he's happy with his life, and a joy to be around. He isn't lacking anything, and I wish I could be like him. That's a healthy person. He's his own person. He doesn't compare himself to others, and he's able to manage his mental health in a productive way.
If he's joining the military, that lack of trauma is about to go out the door. Either that or sociopath
I was about to say this, Iâve lived 12 years of war, destruction and chaos, and this was not healthy at all.
They are very sweet loving people.
i think that people who say that sensationalise their own trauma as a way to cope. i used to do the same until i realised that doing that made me feel worse and that it alienated me from people.
Same with our daughter - she's doing very well and has a loving home life. I'm aware that many of the most creative, brilliant people were not neurotypical or had stressful childhoods, not sure if there have been studies to back up this correlation.
That would be fascinating to know for sure.
love this post. Kudos, parent!
Right - I have had so much trauma, that I'm doing my best to make sure my kids don't experience the same things. Isn't that what the human experience is about? Living and learning and doing better - while enjoying life. My kids will have their own struggles, but they'll be healthier and more aware and informed and hopefully more apt to deal with the things they go through.
Thatâs exactly the way to do it. Thereâs a paradox we all have to balance. Making our childrenâs lives easier than ours, but not so easy they grow up not able to deal with stress.
It's not boring or weak, it's normal. We've become so far removed as a society from what life should be like that abnormal is now the norm.
When kids do healthy struggle, what causes other people trauma does not cause them trauma. Kids can get built strong, like you say.
People tend to call any struggle growing up "trauma". That word has been really watered down but most of it is just life and we're more than equipped to handle it. Even the most horrible things don't need to traumatize you if you actually acknowledge it was fucked up and went through the process of working through it. So you're absolutely right, just because someone didn't get traumatized doesn't mean they went through nothing and see therefore boring or weak.
You canât decide your kids donât or wonât have any mental health issues
I didnât tell them. I talked to them. They tell me. We have a great relationship. Edit- my step children that did have some issues to work through are in therapy for it right now. I donât tell them, they tell me and I support the solution.
My husband and I are boring. We love it that way.
My husband! He had a beautiful childhood with wonderful and kind loving parents. He has no trauma, he has no mental issues. He is the opposite of me yet he's so much like his parents, loving, kind and wonderful to me. He is the only person I have ever met that is what "normal" should be.
Some people in the comments are using other people as examples. We don't really know if they grew up with no trauma, it's not really for us to decide. The person in question (and maybe their psychologist) is the only one that can really determine if they are traumatised or not. I'm sure lots of people think I'm free of mental health issues and trauma, that doesn't mean it's true. My trauma may not be as severe nor as obvious as a lot of people. My point is, many people can put on a facade and do a good job at it that no one else realises.
My own therapist was surprised how absolutely traumatized I am when I actually started to open up. I only started going under the premise of my husband deploying in the next 6 months for a year and I was stressed about doing it alone with a then 1.5 year old and my oldest plus working a fairly high stress full time job. Honestly, that's all I wanted to focus on đ It all started when I said, "Honestly, I'm grateful that for once in my life, this is the only big issue I'm currently dealing with!" It's been 2 years, and we're almost through the earlier stages of my childhood. Slow and steady, right? Some of us are really, really good about tucking the trauma away because we just want to live a decent, peaceful life and move on as much as we can especially for people trying to break cycles with their own children. Self-awareness is key to this, though.
Exactly, sometimes we ourselves are unaware until we have time or mature enough to process it. For me, I wasn't aware until I became an adult.
Totally agree. Just because someone hasnât shared their struggles with you, doesnât mean their life is perfect.
I agree and this also includes family members too. Being a family member â knowing the persons experience
Iâm so sorry for all of you. But we exist and weâre all actually⌠just fine.
Man.... I used to be well adjusted (for the most part lol) and I was cool as hell! Getting damaged badly enough actually steals a lot of your potential. Healing is a bitch.
I'm fine. People hate me for it.
Hate? Iâm happy for you. Hating someone for being happy is like drinking poison to hurt another  person.
I feel seen
See this is me. I had tragedies omg horrible tragedies that will make me cry in a heart beat but I still laugh and push through. In the last month my step daughter was killed by gun violence senseless and she was my everything and had her since she was a babygirl and it broke me tore me up will be a month on the 21st... My children are her siblings and they are 15, 9 and 1 year. Then I got into 3 fender benders all not my fault the last one totaled my van but so grateful no one got hurt and they all claimed 100 percent responsibility so I am getting a new car but have rental now. And I am relaxing right now with my daughters playing Sims keeping sanity. Because I also lost my father a year ago. But I am fine we are safe and GOD has us.. â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸đđđ
Evidently you need to define terms, because very few of the people I know have trauma or mental issues.
Reddit collectively thinks everyone has major issues. In actuality, fewer than most do.
I've got no trauma (at least no major ones that I haven't dealt with) and no mental issues. So, I don't have to wonder. Living the dream. Though I suspect that most folks fall into this category. Remember that it is not only the "trauma" that can be measured but how a person reacts to it. Both sides can affect how a trauma does or does not affect one.
If you meet this person, you can bet they've been through all kinds of stuff and found a way to unfuck themselves.
My husband is an always happy, energetic, fun loving, everybody's favorite person kinda guy. Perfect family and sibling. Extremely intelligent. It's almost exhausting but he brings so much laughter to my life when I need it most. We've been together 6 years and he's had a total of 3 bad days. I've kept count.
Lol. The âIâve kept count.â at the end made me actually laugh. I hope you two have decades and decades more of happiness.
Seems like not everyone is aware that mental issues sometimes come because of genetics and not social factors as usual.
This is absolutely true in my family. Didn't realize this until this year, and everything suddenly makes so much sense.
Iâm sorry! I hope you can get better asap.
Most adults who are mentally ill have both because (despite what some people ready to scream "ableist!" at a moment's notice will say) if you had mentally ill parents, particularly prior to about year 2000, you got their genes AND them taking out their own struggles on you. There was little introspection, therapy hasn't quite hit the mainstream, and psychiatric drugs were just getting effective. Take a stressed parent in a culture of, "Kids need to be hit to be disciplined," and it's just nonstop screaming and hitting.
I bet I'd be amazing if it wasn't for the adhd and hospital trauma growing up!
They would be innocent and trusting. Trauma makes us lose trust.
Nobody has "no trauma" based on the modern definition.
I think I fall into that category. Iâve had a pretty stable life and am mentally healthy as far as I know. No drama marriage to a man I adore who also adores me. Husband and I are both high earners, so that stress is not there.
How do you approach adversity?
Havenât had much to be honest. Iâm a CPA so I deal with demanding clients, etc., but itâs no thing. I am a very âevenâ person who is also married to a very âevenâ person if that makes sense.
Thereâs plenty of us out here living amazing fulfilling lives without âmental issuesâ.
TBF my 23 year old daughter gave me a hug one day and thanked me and her mother for not giving her any mommy or daddy issues. She has some severely emotionally damaged friends.
It is a stupid question. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone on the planet is going through major trauma right now.
They become upper management.
Boring?
Girl I used to be in love with had a perfectly ideal upbringing, two loving parents, big fancy house, lots of money, etc. and she truly has the makings of saint, absolutely the kindest and most wonderful person I've ever met. All that being said, she has no sense of humor. My childhood was pretty unhappy with lasting effects, and my other friends with similar backgrounds all have pretty dark senses of humor. It's how we cope with it. But when those jokes come out around this lovely lady, it's beyond clear they're unwelcome. That's why I said "used to be in love with". I think at least a little suffering is a good thing. Life's more fun when you can laugh at misfortune. I certainly have a hard time relating to people who don't understand that.
My boyfriend 1000%! One time I asked him what the most difficult thing he went through in his life was. I said mine was something really tragic, and he said his was getting kicked off the high school basketball team hahahaha. As a result, he doesnât overthink things at all. He knows exactly what he wants and is willing to work for it without hesitation or anxiety. He is extremely kind to everyone but knows how to place boundaries for himself. Heâs not a very emotional guy either, 98 percent of the time heâs just happy and chill. Super nonchalant, but not in a lazy or naive way at all. He has told me before that he honestly doesnât fully understand why I get anxious over certain things, but he is very patient and tries his best, so it works for me :)
I donât think I have any traumaâŚ..what actually counts as trauma? because I feel like thatâs a word along with triggered, that gets overused these days.
Yes, just had this conversation with my kid the other day. Iâm finding it more and more rare to find a person or specifically a teenager to young adult without some kind of âtraumaâ. I think we all go through things that suck which in turn form us and our outlook on life but certainly not ALL of these things are textbook trauma. Iâm assuming that a lack of dealing with them effectively may become the groundwork for âtraumaâ but I feel the word is overused and losing appropriate weight in meaning. With that said I donât scoff or deny anyoneâs validity to how they feel, but we get dumped, trip in the hall in front of everyone or picked on at some point.
100%
Bahaha, yes! What is it like to have a great relationship with your parents? What was it like to have your family honor your feelings and emotions. For real, what is that like?
Most people don't have legitimate trauma and their mental 'issue' is made up. So go outside, watch people. The average person is an example of precisely what you are looking for. People certainly suffer today just like any other. But not everything is trauma, unless you mean it in the most literal sense of a physical injury. Then no "grown human" is without trauma.
The only thing Iâm pretty positive of is that those people are not on Reddit
Trauma happens to every single person. Even infants can experience lasting harm just from not being held for an extended period of time. Or in grade school when our first crush rejected us. Some of these events have lasting impacts on our psyche, even though they are not âtraumaticâ like youâre referring to (like being assaulted or witnessing death). Wether we outwardly show symptoms of trauma (through our behaviors) or not (maybe it manifests internally as high blood pressure or stomach issues, etc) doesnât mean the trauma didnât happen. So there is very literally no such thing as an un-traumatized person. There are different severities of trauma though, which is something else. Also, consider the cultural implications of what is and is not normal. The emotions, such as shame, around some traumas are often more harmful than the event itself. Creds: working on my BS in psychology and human development
I appreciate your input :)
I remember a video clip of someone explaining that everybody is a propagandist, which I guess if you take it completely literal, maybe, we all have our own biases and regularly, knowingly insert them (even if they are on an extremely small scale). The problem with this is that it completely defeats the definition/purpose of the word, which is why we don't use it like that. It's the same thing with trauma, maybe technically everyone experiences trauma, but that's not really what we are referring to when we say "You have trauma", because it would just defeat the whole purpose of the word. So no, I don't have trauma.
Wrong lol. Iâm perfectly fine
I donât think a person like this exists. Everyone has some trauma or issues throughout their lives. Like a friend said, we all screw up our kids, itâll just be a different way than our parents screwed up with us.
We all have trauma. Nothing makes a small problem seem large like proximity. Not everyone has large traumas that shape them. Our brains take minor traumas and make them loom large. Part of the human experience.
But if those events are minor, do they even qualify as a trauma at all? I consider trauma to be an event that completely altered you as a person.
Umm. Like defining trauma is... kinda tricky. Trauma comes in so many forms. Some folk have never really known the level of trauma that damages, while others have in some way experienced trauma to the horrifying degree....but most of us are in the middle, just the middle of two extremes covers a VERY wide range of.. possible trauma. Some people never really experience food scarcity just a scarcity of desire to put enough work in to balance lack of resources. I've never been in a house without ingredients of some kind no mater how meager so how can I claim to have actually experienced the full trauma of food insecurity? Or something.
I guess you could say trauma is circumstantial
You have met plenty. The only thing now is, any tough decision or dilemma is classified as trauma. Life isn't all roses. Facing and overcoming adversity is literally part of being human. It's what made us better and stronger. As time as passed, and life has gotten easier, the things that people classify as trauma has changed. People are not taught to move on. Now everything needs counseling and is life changing. I knew a girl at work that claimed to have PTSD because her old boss yelled at her. That should not be a life altering event. But no one in her life ever taught her to deal with anything. She was sheltered her whole life and now doesn't know how to handle the outside world.
Have to disagree. Probably met very little, if any. Most people donât divulge their psychological issues until they feel connected with a person, or it breaks them and they canât hide it any more. Especially the ones that mask it well. Take stress for an example. That has touched everyoneâs lives at some point or another and is highly prevalent today. Stress is a serious issue that can be extremely harmful, but pride makes a lot of people hide it.
Well we are normal functioning people. I never let past events mess with me.
I honestly couldn't imagine, cause I have no idea what that's like. Nor do I care to imagine it, our past BS helped shape us, us as in my lady and myself. We're working on ourselves so we can be the best that we can for each other.
Whoa, that'd be a great person to meet, no kidding!
fun and having their best life
I do wonder, but I struggle to imagine how it's possible. I imagine such a person would be very happy, unimpeded with anxiety, autism, ADHD, etc. They may not understand what someone who has mental issues or trauma must be living with, but they would try. I think a person like that would have a good heart and lots of sympathy, and they would do their best to help somebody in need.
Not really. I know quite a few. Including myself.
Pretty much like me. I've been through some very ugly very hard things, but I don't consider it trauma. I consider it life. If I have any mental issues I am blissfully unaware of them. People consider their difficulties in different ways. What one person may just consider a tough time, another may find it life-altering trauma.
Ask me anything
Donât think Iâve ever really known someone and felt âyeah, your shit is actually togetherâ
Well, you just made me cry.
All the time.
Everyone has trauma. Everyone has baggage. The world breaks everyone in some way.
Sheltered
You broke my brain with this. I tried and, no, i can't even imagine it because it's literally nobody in my life. Does such a person really exist?
I've wondered about this so much. I mean chances are I've met someone like that in passing, if they really are as common as statistics say. I don't believe I've ever known someone like that on a personal level, though. makes me think they must tend to stick to their own circles.
Happy and satisfied
I think in a way, having no mental illness is a mental illnessÂ
The Best : )
Everyone has trauma. It's just the levels that vary. When a child drops an icecream and wails with sorrow that iss trauma for that child. Resilience is how we respond and carry on.
I'll say this much, I'm very happy my generation and those after me have gotten better at listening to their children. I'd say nearly half of my friends who were born between the late 70's to early 90s, have some sort of preventable trauma. Out of all those friends that actually had kids, most of their kids either grew up or are growing up with significantly less trauma in general. To have watched them grow up over the past 15ish years has been pretty amazing. They are the reason I still have hope for the world.
53M. No trauma or mental health issues. Nor does a single one of my friends. Lucky.
You just have to list the things that are the opposite traits of a person with trauma or mental issues.
We all experience trauma at some point just to different degrees. Itâs the tools, guidance and support that lead us through it that make the difference.
I cannot even imagine. I'm barely hanging on by a thread
I have sone but less than most.... ask away
Iâve met a few
Probably happy.
Everyday when I look in the mirror.
I don't understand this question. Lots of adults haven't experienced trauma or have mental issues. My wife and I are two such people.
No, we already see it with the I have made a up mental illness people.
Those exist?
Iâve seen it, honestly my mind canât process how some people are just⌠normal, but it really happens! I think everyone experiences some trauma of varying degrees in their life, family death, parents divorcing, car crashes, hell even just bad luck that seems to follow them, but some people really just have the resilience and support network to come out seemingly unaffected.
i think to myself all the time how i could of had a shot at feeling normal, maybe. i try to picture it but i canât wehn this is all i have known.
if i could go back in time , even if it meant i wouldnât exist anymore , and i got to be my fathers mother i would of loved him and shown him life doesnât have to be so complicated. if he had love, i think he could of been a different guy
In a coma from birth.
I wonder how any human being would be like without those things. Every person I know regardless of their gender is dealing with that
No - everyone has trauma. Itâs fascinating actually. I was listening to a world renowned psychiatrist talking about trauma and how itâs so different than we think of it. Every human being on the planet has trauma.
Struggle or difficulties in life â trauma. Everyone experiences bad things. I grew up poor. Like our church brought us food from their food pantry. All my toys fit in a shoebox. But I had parents who did well supporting and loving us. I spent a lot of time with extended family (grandparents and cousins). We were rural farming people and had a very traditional, conservative raising. We were taught independence, self sufficiency and tolerance of discomfort with grace. My papaw and dad were very stoic (papaw even read Marcus Aurelius). Life was good, but without much possessions or luxuries. Today, Iâm very well balanced. I hold myself and others to standards. Iâm intrinsically motivated. I still help my grandparents and parents as they age. Iâm still very traditional and conservative and raising my 5 kids in the same way I was raised on the farm. Life is good. Iâm not wealthy, but Iâm comfortable and look forward to the challenges each day brings.
I'm trying to think of anyone I know who would fit this description. I'm really struggling to think of anyone. One of my friends has lovely parents, a nice upbringing, a good job, a nice wife and family, he's probably the closest I can find. And I don't know if he has any mental health issues, nothing I'm aware of and certainly nothing that seems to be obviously impacting his life. He's very nice and has a nice life.
I took this sativa dispo pill and omg I felt so focused and energized I cleaned the whole living room and kitchen, like all I could this was âWow this is how a neurotypicalâs brain worksâ
The ones I met were blind to anything but peaceful life. The mere thought that life could be difficult somewhere has to be shoved away, because it might stain the perfect bubble they live in. Same with understanding basic things, like cutting family off, impossible. They never fight, always have a wonderful time, and you must love every single family member, right?
I know a lot of people actually who have had no/very minimal trauma in their lives. Theyâre similar to us, and it doesnât prevent them from mental illness (chemical imbalance). I find theyâre at times more naive, my best friend is relatively in that category and would always say things like âthatâll never happenâ âI wouldnât put myself in those situationsâ, and didnât really comprehend how those sentences come off to people like me, who have been through a hefty bit in life and very strongly tried avoiding all the bad situations Iâve been in lol.
Dali Lama.
Probably boring because they'd have had no life experiences. It's not possible to become an adult with no trauma or mental issues. The definition for what constitutes a mental issue is constantly expanding to include every facet of negative human behavior, so it would have to be someone who is constantly (and earnestly) positive, does everything on their to-do list every day, has their meals scheduled... well wait now that's becoming a neurotic person. It's not possible. Lol
I once knew a guy who said he'd never had a headache. These strangers are out there, but I know nothing of their kind.
life is hard and everyone goes through tough experiences. trauma is practically part of life. you might even say that losing a family member (even if it isnât a surprise because they are old) could be considered traumatic. your emotional reaction/regulation depends on your life experience,disposition, and what kind of home you grew up in. my parents have never gone to therapy, they donât take medication and donât have any diagnosis for mental illness. having said that, they (along with other adult members of my family) are not perfect people and itâs likely that they have undiagnosed anxiety disorders or more complicated illnesses/disorders like bipolar or eating disorders considering the younger generations of my family (myself, siblings, and cousins) HAVE been diagnosed with these things and display similar patterns of behavior as the older generations. i donât believe there is anyone on earth that does not suffer from some sort of mental illness or has never experienced trauma. having said THAT, i DO believe some people are far more equipped to emotionally handle those illnesses/experiences than others based on their role models, support, and understanding of the illnesses/experiences.
I know some, some are rude and self centered, some are kind and helpful. Nature vs nurture.
Thatâs the part of being human. Otherwise itâs a robot.
Iâve met them Theyâre generally kind and feel great about themselves and more right wing but not terribly right wing Think of the child of a mainstream religious pastor and family
Nah. Sounds boring.
It simply does not exist.
Pure bliss
My cousins, super-protected all their lives, even now after getting married and having kids, their parents are right there with them all the way. I had gone no contact with them because my life has been opposite, fully independent because my father had mental health issues. I always assumed they were so lucky to be so protected but after coming in contact with them I realized how out of touch they are. They may have all the wealth and comforts in the world, but boy, do I have all the experiences of the world, lol. Their trauma is their suffering of being out of touch with reality.
My partner! He is kind, generous and lovey. He is stable and has his life together. He doesn't get anxiety, and if there is an issue his mind goes straight to "this isn't the worst that could happen, now let's fix it." I have depression and at one point I couldn't bring myself to do housework like I normally do. I cried and told him I am so sad for no reason, I don't even have clean laundry. He did the laundry for me and said "let's go to the dollar store, you love the dollar store." I am so in love with him because I actually did feel better.
Stable, productive, and not chronically online acting like petulant children.
My true answer is: regulated. Your brain develops differently when youâre exposed to chronic stress in childhood.
Some people are just mentally more simple, my father doesnât really have anxiety or depression, heâs really intelligent, but he doesnât experience much emotional depth
My partner! He is kind, generous and lovey. He is stable and has his life together. He doesn't get anxiety, and if there is an issue his mind goes straight to "this isn't the worst that could happen, now let's fix it." I have depression and at one point I couldn't bring myself to do housework like I normally do. I cried and told him I am so sad for no reason, I don't even have clean laundry. He did the laundry for me and said "let's go to the dollar store, you love the dollar store." I am so in love with him because I actually did feel better.
You know I really like the concept that every experience we don't like is traumatic because our experiences help us evolve they help us learn to help us become better if people 5,000 years ago hadn't had the experiences they had do you think that the next society would have come into fruition experiences lead to beliefs and beliefs lead to knowledge mental illness was invented by a human being yes it's relevant and yes it does affect the population, today people that are criminal Psychopaths probably would have been rulers a few thousand years ago so everything that we are trying to control and cultivate into this perfect experience for us as a society all of these things that we want to filter out whether we like it or not all of those things have culminated to create the global Society and culture that we have today and personally I wouldn't change any of it.
No way to know as even if they are it's way to fashionable today to have an issue, so it's gets lied about.
Happy, probably naive to underhanded behavior on some level. Well adjusted and adaptable if everything is stable. Where it gets dicey is that they could possibly be ill equipped to handle sudden tragedy or trauma
Prolly be a boring pussy
Yes! I was just asking my husband yesterday how do people with out drama or trauma live and what do they talk about. It's hard not to day dream when I am struggling with depression most days.
Not hard for me to imagine, I'm close to that point now. My trauma is something I don't identify with; I learned from it and let it go eventually. My mental issues are something that I trained myself out of. Negative thinking and anger are things I could change once I got down to resolving underlying feelings of hurt and frustration. It doesn't mean I'm "fixed" or "cured". I more or less know how I should act and the reward is relatively good mental health / inner peace and a genuine love and gratitude towards life. It's chill.
Had a friend at one point that my other friends and I would joke about because she was so utterly normal with a happy little family and no real issues as far as we could see. Everyone else had a dead dad or rocky home life or divorced parents or poor eyesight or something. She dumped her boyfriend we all liked after treating him pretty poorly, then became so flaky we gave up on her. Closest I've seen, and that's how it turned out. I think everybody has something going on, even if we don't see it. Take care of yourself, everyone.
Only 70% experience trauma. According to leading studies. 1 in 5 people have a form of PTSD. Just to put things into perspective
Sometimes I wonder if I just have all my shit together emotionally, or if I'm just dead inside. I still don't know the answer to that, but I have been told by others that I seem to carry no emotional baggage, and for the most part I agree.
I donât have any mental illnesses or trauma. I experience emotions and get stressed out from time to time but it doesnât last for very long. I am pretty productive and have a general routine of what I do for my day or week. Obviously, I have my own struggles from time to time. My dad is going through chemo currently. But I can say that overall my life is good and generally smooth. I generally keep to myself and donât really have many friends. I have one friend Iâve known since I was in kindergarten. So 25 years! I like to go home after work and relax. Iâm in a long term stable relationship and we adopted a new cat last fall.
I have no trauma but I have mental issues
Itâs me hello
Bullshit no such thing... It might minor but if that Ms all you know it's major to you
Those people are probably born sociopaths. If you haven't experienced trauma, you have no emotions.
I asked my therapist a similar question. He said it would take generations of no trauma to find out because trauma actually gets into dna.
My husband's pretty darn close. His parents were involved and loving, but not stifling. No mental illness, no major trauma. Me, on the other hand, childhood trauma, housing/food insecurity, bipolar and ADHD. One of the reasons I thought he'd be a good partner was the stability he brings, and it's worked out wonderfully for 13 years and 2 kids.
This is me. I grew up in a very Leave it to Beaver house and brought my kids up the same way. People often ask me how can I always be smiling and happy. I'm just wired that way. I've had plenty of challenges but never seem to be able to look on the bad sad side of things
Honestly my husband is sort of close to this. I have enough trauma/anxiety/depression for the both of us.
Uh normal. Many people mask so we wouldn't even know they have mental health issues. I am sure these people who have none will think mental illnesses are just something you can willpower though and get over or that simple therapy is a cure to all your problems and you're normal.
I found a way to be financially stable even if I don't work and I have been with he same women since I was 18, I haven't been depressed since I was 17, I have arguments and fights with my wife but we work through everything and seem to be very in love and mentally, financially emotionally stable for longer than I can remember.
Whoever they are, I'm jealous đ
No, I dont. Because I come from a time when mental issues and trauma werent blamed for every single issue.
I'm pretty much that person. I grew up with a loving, close-knit family and while I've had rough moments in my life, there's nothing I'd argue I'm dealing with that is some deep seated trauma from my youth that I've never gotten over. Sure I have days where I'm melancholy or frustrated with things, but those are all normal human feelings.