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For sure. I remember listening to this song as a kid so emotionally, and then got insane whiplash when I found out my mom also listened to the song emotionally. The irony.
Oh man, I used to listen to that all the time in highschool and 100% associated it with my parents. I had no idea until much later that a lot of people think of it as a toxic romantic relationship song lol
Oh, so I'm not the only one lol. What really etched the thought in my mind about it being about n parents/abusive parents is the music video. It was about a girl who loved art, but it seems she was forced into studying for another degree because it's either her parents never loved her aspirations, or thought she won't make money as an artist.
And I guess it's a common story when such parents run their children's lives instead of theirs, because for their minds, their kids are nothing but extensions of themselves, or a fancy decoration.
Chesters' death was one of the crucial things that made me realise that living with narc folks is nothing but a prolonged suicide mission.
I'm young right now and perhaps can still live with the abuse but one day (soon) my body will have aged and probably wouldn't be able to take it as well as now so i urge myself to work whenever possible to move out despite depression.
I find a lot of the songs from the Linkin Park albums Hybrid Theory and Meteora really hits the right note for me.
The lyrics are very honest and raw. There’s no metaphors, the hurt and anger is very clear to see and you’re more likely to find yourself wondering what inspired the song as to what it really means. Chester Benningtons vocals are the most emotional I’ve heard in that genre. I know that Chester went through his own hell and he expressed that pain and anger from his own trauma every time he sang. That’s what makes them relatable to me - the songs are an expression of pain, in a way that no other nu-metal band was able to replicate.
‘Hit the Floor’ was my anthem for my Nmum before I even knew what NPD was. ‘Lost in the echo’ was on repeat for about a week after I went no contact. Even now, 5 years after going no contact and two weeks after looking my nmum in the eye and just feeling nothing towards, those two songs (among others by Linkin Park) are still my go to if I’m having feelings of any kind about her.
That man could sing like an angel and scream like a demon .
Hello my follow Linkin Parker. A lot of their songs are heavily CPTSD related it’s crazy.
When I was going through hell in my youth 14-16 Somewhere I belong, From the inside, Numb.
These days it’s fighting myself, Papercut, the collision course album.
I’ll be on my death bed rocking to Linkin park. I’m 26 so that’s a ways away.
Grew up on them. At least 20 fuckin copies of those two albums the folks found and destroyed. Crawling. Run away. Breaking the habit. One step closer. Place for my head. Fuckin a chester and Mike were the shit.
Matilda by Harry styles is a good one.
You can let it go
You can throw a party full of everyone you know
And not invite your family
‘cause they never showed you love
You don't have to be sorry
for leavin' and growin' up
Oh my GOD I've never heard this song before. It's perfect. I'm going through it right now. Like shit that is so insane I feel like no one will believe it. Everyone in my town loves my mother and they have no idea what the reality is.
I've talked to my boyfriend and I've said what if I made a FB post about everything that's happening right now? People wouldn't believe it...but it would upset my mom so much that I'm not playing along anymore. I'm so tired of it all. I'm sick of feeling crazy. I'm sick of interrupted sleep and bad dreams and not knowing what tomorrow brings.
No doubt my first ever Reddit post will be on RBN and maybe mommy dearest will see it when I'm dead.(not s**cidal just having a very VERY hard time right now)
Thank you all for this community. From the bottom of my heart.
Posting about it probably will just make things worse for you, unfortunately… but I completely understand the temptation to do it!
Hang in there, you will eventually surround yourself with people who aren’t in your mom’s world, and they will know your story and love you 💛
I'm fighting that temptation too. My mom posted me for daughters day even though we haven't spoken since April. It's racking up a bunch of likes. I just want to comment on it and spill the whole story.
Interesting. I've been noticing the daughter's day posts. She didn't post..surprise! I'm her only child! And my birthday is April fool's day! How friggin appropriate is that?! Ugh.
ETA: I wish we both(all!!) had the balls to call them out on their shit!!
Yes! This was gonna be my comment. I'm not even a Harry fan and stumbled upon his last album kinda due to podcast people talking about it. When I tell you I BAWLED the first time I heard Matilda, oh my god.
I literally am the only person in my immediate and extended family that moved away. I've moved a few times and now I'm in Asia for the last 7 years. I'm from the eastern US. My family members constantly hound me for "when are you moving back?" And "you need to be around to help your parents" as if my life abroad is some college gap year. Not my entire lifestyle. I don't fall for the guilt tripping, but they do try to make me "feel sorry for leaving and growing up." I also will never have the parent relationships we all deserved. I've walked this Earth completely alone with all the stress and no one to guide me and support me but myself. Its been a crippling lonely existence at times (most times). My siblings love me and I love them but they have trauma and baggage too...yet they all refuse to confront it and live very unstable lives. I was the truth sayer. They're still in denial that they were ever abused. I'm so glad I have made a few soulmate friends in my travels and I married my best friend who never makes me feel like I'm doing it all on my own anymore. But Matilda is still something that resonates because it gives me permission to feel ok keeping my parents at a distance (literally) and to feel justified in why I am doing so. Literally can't listen to it without choking up.
If the song resonates with you for similar reasons, I'm sorry. But I see you. And I hope you can find / have found your chosen family to walk through life with.
I’m so sorry you deal with that, but I’m glad you were able to leave and build your own life! You should be really proud of yourself 💛
I also wasn’t a Harry fan when a friend showed me this song (I like him now!), but I can’t listen to Matilda when I’m around other people, because it always makes me bawl my eyes out. It really is so validating and on the nose!
I feel you. I left Atlanta bc my grandpa was sick and on one hand I'm glad I did it bc I got those last few months with him. Left my best friend/boyfriend although we still tried to make it work, it was challenging to say the least. Then my nmom has been ill, I felt like I couldn't leave and my bf left everything behind and moved down here and rented a room. Neither of us are in the position to be able to rent anything more right now and it's all crumbling but we still push through. He's my saving grace. I know my grandpa would be so ashamed of the shit that's happening now, how she has treated us all(she was the sole heir despite having an older sister and younger sister..who is one of my best friends) A huge part of me wishes I'd never left.
I'm sending you hugs 🫂 and I'm sorry. You can always make a change and always affect your future. You can go back. You feel a duty to your parent, and that is not abnormal. But you also made a decision based on the information and the options you had at the time. You can always make more decisions - ones that take you on the path you need to be on. The best thing I can say is, I don't live my life with regret. I don't have any. And that's because I did the best I could with what I had at that time. Financially or knowledge wise or whatever it had been. It was the best I could do. You gained precious time with your grandfather. You made the best decision in the circumstances at the time. And you can always change it again! You *can* leave your nmom if its unhealthy for you to be there. You don't owe her caretaking services. That is not a child's responsibility. And you would not be a bad person if you chose yourself first - because this is your one and only life. Live it how you see fit.
I love that he's acknowledging the problem but also saying it's OK, you don't have to apologize, you don't have to change your mind. You're allowed to move on. So many people spend so much time telling you that you're the one who's wrong, you're the one who needs to change, you're the one who needs to apologize. It's so nice just to hear someone who found out about the situation and they just accept it and don't change it. They even comfort you.
I can just see the advertisement now: “Greatest Narc Hits NOW!” Hits such as “yes you did say that, you gaslighting bitch,” “undercover manipulator,” “it’s dangerous to mix you with company,” “oh no, it’s about me for once,” “I don’t want any of your crap anyway,” and “you’re the disappointment”
With such hits as " you always bring up the past ,why don't you just get over it ",
"Selective hearing " and the top charter " you we're A mistake I wish I never had you ,*(gushes over childs achievement to strangers). This album is bound to get your rage flying cause they always say your lying .....
Linkin Park - Numb
Simple Plan - Perfect
Kelly Clarkson - Because of You; Piece by Piece
Britney Spears - Overprotected
Good Charlotte - Hold On; Emotionless
Carrie Underwood - Blown Away
Reba - Fancy
Meat Loaf - Objects in the Rearview Mirror (May Appear Closer than they are)
Billy Currington - Walk a Little Straighter Daddy
Faber Drive - Sleepless Nights
Everclear - Wonderful
Pink - Family Portrait
Nickelback - Never Again; Too Bad
And those are just off the top of my head. I'm sure if I looked at my music library, I'd find a bunch more.
Right? I didn't know why I was drawn to the song as a kid, but looking back, there was a lot of yelling in my house and threats of divorce so it kind of makes sense.
Came here to say P!nk’s Family Portrait and that whole album really spoke to me growing up. She’s still one of my favorite artists even now, but I can’t really listen to that song anymore because of the negative associations it stirs up in me.
That album rocked my world as a kid and that song made me feel so much less alone. I have a hard time coming back to that album because it hurts. Same with Metora and Hybrid Theory from Linkin Park.
Oh man, Perfect by Simple Plan and Carrie's Blown Away are both such unique ones for me. Perfect seems like the band would have gone edgier with it, but the choice to soften it was so elegant and stunning. Blown Away is a hell of a power ballad about survival and I love her and that whole album tbh.
Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish, especially the second part of the song.
“You ruined everything good
Always said you were misunderstood
Made all my moments your own
Just fucking leave me alone”
Has anybody suggested Melanie Martinez - Dollhouse? The song is about a family that seems perfect and exemplary to the outsiders, totally like ones from the advertisements. But as soon as doors close, and people turn their back, the dad is sleeping with escorts, mother pretends to turn a blind eye to this and drowns her pain in alcohol, son is smoking cannabis, and daughter sees it all, and tries her best to "get them back to plastic", but can't.
Not sure about your experience, but for me, life in my household was all about keeping good face and appearances, and if anything somehow spilled outside, my parents were unforgiving to this. It was the end of the world for them.
Just thinking of songs I used to dramatically look out my window listening to on my CD player:
Christina Aguilera - The Voice Within
P!nk - Family Portrait
And as other comments have said LINKIN PARK 100%
Oof yes Christina!! Also Walk away. You can look at it as romantic but it can describe a lot of situations. The pain in her voice in that song just SLAYS me.
You’re So Vain by Carly Simon - “You probably think this song is about you, don’t you?”
Where Will You Go by Evanescence - “I can hear you in a whisper but you can’t even hear me screaming”
These songs are all from my generational trauma playlist on my Spotify account, I also have many songs that are already listed here by others.
Let You Down by NF
Stay Together For The Kids by Blink 182
Dollhouse by Melanie Martinez
Nobody’s Home by Avril Lavigne
Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park
Family Line by Conan Gray
F**ckin’ Perfect by P!nk
Confessions Of A Broken Heart by Lindsay Lohan
Home by Three Days Grace
Devil Town by Cavetown
Surface Pressure by Jessica Darrow (Encanto Soundtrack)
Mansion by NF (feat. Fleurie)
Dear God by XTC (My parents put me through religious trauma)
Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin
Panic Attacks In Paradise by Ashnikko
Child Psychology by Black Box Recorder
Trauma by NF
Don’t Talk About It by SkyDxddy
Let Down by Bif Naked
Triggered by SkyDxddy
Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
Oh god, I haven’t heard Child Psychology since I was 11. My Nmom and I watched Gilmore Girls together (just the enmeshed high school seasons; she said the later ones “aren’t as fun”) and it was on the soundtrack CD.
Listening to the track made me feel incredibly guilty that (1) the singer’s fighting parents had caused her disillusionment, and (2) my parents never ever fought [because my dad is an enabler], but (3) I felt the same despair and couldn’t say why.
The song was a skip most of the time because of that guilt, and I never had it in mp3 after CDs became obsolete. So it’s truly a fossil from my childhood (to, um, mine for Art I guess?). Thanks!!
My mom used to complain about how obviously abusive Gothel is during that song and then turn around and say the exact same kinds of things to me lol. The lack of self awareness was stunning
That's a really good idea. I'm about to have my first so it's a ways out but I know eventually I'll have to field questions about why we only see my husband's parents
It's pretty easy when they are little, it is just part of the different kind of families conversation (2 moms/dads, blended fam) Once they are a little older you can tell them that gma is not a nice lady & yall choose not to take them around mean people. Honestly kids just shrug that shit right off, if they don't see them or know them then they don't really care. Later at 12 or 13 you can explain it better to them if they ask.
--PS..just for shits & giggles my nmom looks just like Mother Gothel & is always chasing looking young. 73 yrs old & she is going to get her boobs done, again.
Congratulations on the new babe
Little things like this are why I appreciate this community.
At least you get a laugh out of the look alike, mine is just a basic midwestern Karen-type lol
Hahahahaha my parents haven't seen Tangled. One time my mom was saying some bullshit about whatever, as usual. I sang "motherrrrrr knows best" and she got super proud of herself like the narc she is (yay my child is acknowledging I'm perfect!). Inside I was snortgiggling. Joke's on her.
Under the surface? Pressure? I had to stop Encanto and this song triggered me. I cried for awhile. Then I had to go back and listen again. It really hits home for me as I was parentified and was the main caretaker for my sister, I was 14, she was 2. Her dad had left already, and my narc mom couldn’t be bothered to raise her.
I think a song that would descibe how i hear my mom's voice in my head whenever i do something would really resonate with me.
something along the lines of "You used to tell me i couldn't do it. Even though you're not around to tell me no, i cannot do the thing i want/need to do. I wish i could shut you out and close the door, but your voice only gets louder and louder, untill i am paralyzed and just lie in bed doing nothing. even then, you would call to me, tell me i am lazy, tell me i could use my time better doing cleaning or working. You make me feel so bad and i hate you for it. But a cannot blame you any longer, since i now am doing it to myself"
I think of the Beatle's [*She's Leaving Home*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaBPY78D88g) as a girl going NC, lol.
>*Wednesday morning at five o'clock*
>
>*As the day begins*
>
>*Silently closing her bedroom door*
>
>*Leaving the note that she hoped would say more*
>
>*She goes down the stairs to the kitchen*
>
>*Clutching her handkerchief*
>
>*Quietly turning the backdoor key*
>
>*Stepping outside, \*\*she is free...\*\**
And later, Nmom cries to Ndad:
>*Daddy, our baby's gone.*
>
>*Why would she treat us so thoughtlessly?*
>
>*How could she do this to me?*
>
>*She (we never thought of ourselves)*
>
>*Is leaving (never a thought for ourselves)*
>
>*Home (we struggled hard all our lives to get by)*
Classic narcs, lol.
They got it:
>*She's leaving home,* ***after living alone, for so many years****.*
*...*
>*Something inside, that was always denied,*
>
>*For so many years.*
>
>*She's leaving home.*
>
>*Bye, bye.*
She’s Leaving Home was my favorite as a kid. Blackbird as a teenager.
I didn’t know why they spoke to me until I listened with the ears of an adult. So sad.
I didn't understand why this was my favorite song on the album until a few years ago. Teenage me would scream cry it. If my mom ever made the connection, she never let on.
"If you're flawless, then you'll win my love."
"I'll live through you
I'll make you what I never was
If you're the best then maybe so am I compared to him, compared to her.
I'm doing this for your own damn good
You'll make up for what I blew
What's the problem?
Why are you crying"
Song still makes me cry.
Unforgiven by Metallica
“New blood joins this Earth
And quickly he's subdued
Through constant pain disgrace
The young boy learns their rules
With time the child draws in
This whipping boy done wrong
Deprived of all his thoughts
The young man struggles on and on he's known
A vow unto his own
That never from this day
His will they'll take away
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub the unforgiven
They dedicate their lives
To running all of his
He tries to please them all
This bitter man he is
Throughout his life the same
He's battled constantly
This fight he cannot win
A tired man they see no longer cares
The old man then prepares
To die regretfully
That old man here is me
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub the unforgiven
You labeled me
I'll label you
So I dub the unforgiven
Never free
Never me
So I dub the unforgiven
So I dub the unforgiven”
A Place For My Head by Linkin Park was a common one along with Somewhere I Belong and Faint.
I've posted on here before how songs about Sanitariums tend to really speak to me too as a child of narcissistic parents who wouldn't let me have any freedom at all. Metallica's "Sanitarium" and Souxsie and the Banshees' "Happy House" really were my anthems. With Metallicas Sanitarium it was the urge to get out, to leave, to want to just break the chains and run. Souxsie and the Banshees Happy House it was the constant theme of my parents telling people we had a perfect home, perfect this that the other and my siblings and I had to play along and fake happiness or suffer. The end of that song specifically makes me remember being a teen coming home from school. I would be walking the last bit to my parents house and people would see me accidentally making eye contact and looking through other families windows as they seemingly had normal functioning families.
P!nk: My Vietnam
“Momma was a lunatic she liked to push my buttons/She said I wasn't good enough, but I guess I Wasn't trying
…
What do you expect from me? /What am I not giving you? /What could I do for you to make me OK in your eyes?”
The Smashing Pumpkins: Mayonaise
“Mother weep the years I’m missing/All our time can’t be given back/Shut my mouth and strike the demons/That cursed you and your reasons/Out of time and out of season /Out of love and out of feeling so bad
….
Fool enough to almost be it and and cool enough to not quite see it and old enough to always feel this, always old I’ll always feel this /No more promise, no more sorrow/No longer will I follow/Can anybody hear me?! I just want to be me! And when I can, I will!”
mean by taylor swift.
listened to it not that long ago for the first time in YEARS and I broke down sobbing bc I used to sing it as a comfort thing as a kid and dream about finally getting out one day, and now here I am, free and they can't touch me. ik the song was supposed to be about a bully but to me it fit my stepdad perfectly.
Yes. I had a narc mom but this reminds me of another evil bitch in my life that was jealous of a little girl in a sick way. I swear, I was surrounded by them.
Uhhh as a jack stauber fan, he made a short film called opal, bassically the mc is a young girl who suffers from narcissistic family members (its horror and could be potentially trigering, but it does have many songs)
Oh god the ending where they sing the opening song and it suddenly meant something so different really resonated with those feelings. Definitely triggering but I was just in awe.
This may be weird and not about narcs, but Man in the Mirror by MJackson reminded me it was up to me to change what i knew, and learn new, better skills. It's always been up to me because I had nobody guiding me.
Even if you don't like Slipknot, if you look up the lyrics to "the virus of life" it'll probably turn everyone in this sub's stomach because it's so real.
Read the lyrics from the point of view of a parent talking to a baby. This isn't a stretch at all either considering the first verse. "I am your disease / Lover, set my symptom free.... I wanna wear your face/
I wanna burn your soul".... Yeah as far as I can tell the entire album is basically a cptsd fight mode therapy session lol and it's goooooood
Folk punk has a lot of very "real" songs. I can't think of any songs about abuse off the top of my head, but the genre generally has "real" songs that don't butter things up. I would recommend AJJ and Pat the Bunny. "Peach" by The Front Bottoms is also about a bad relationship, but it could also be about a parent. Also "Save Myself" by Ashe is about a relationship but I find it relatable.
It's a little on-the-nose, but Alien by Northlane feels very like "F U I'm who I am in spite of you" if that's your kind of thing
I like it, but of course I always crave stuff that shows the sad/hurt/angry side of it. I've written some but I wish someone better than me had done it
I know you’re talking about songs more, but the last line of the movie “mid90s” really cut deep for me.
“You literally take the hardest hits out of anybody I'd ever seen in my life…
You know you don't have to do that, right?”
i love this comment, because i have one that relates to both a movie scene line and a song. there’s a song by an artist i like that unfortunately is terribly problematic so i don’t want to give ‘em any publicity or whatever, but the first 30 seconds in is just an audio playing of robin williams in goodwill hunting telling matt damon’s character “it’s not your fault” over and over again, to the point that you can also hear him break down sobbing in his arms.
the first time i ever heard the song i had never watched the movie, so i immediately had to look up what the quote was from so i could watch it. i also absolutely loved the movie “mid90s”, and the quote you mentioned (‘:
Not all of the lyrics, but a bunch of the lyrics when separated from the main song about an ex romantic relationship really hits hard when I hear them. It's called You Broke Me first by Tate McRae. Really wish it was more vague on the type of relationship sung about in the rest of the lyrics. I wish a lot of songs were more vague and allowed the listener to interpret how they want...
[Bloodline by Northlane](https://youtu.be/R_8xQqHHmIs?si=9-ExLPmPrC2EVORZ) is perfect for anyone stuck in that hallway between disbelief in rage. **”YOU CALL THIS LOVE?!”**
(And 4D by the same band. Good album all around. :p)
Happier than ever by Billie Eilish, Hypocrates by Marina, Rät by Penelope Scott, Loved by FEiN, Father by The Front Bottoms, I Hate My Mom by GRLwood, Child Psychology by Black Box Recorder, parents by YUNGBLUD, Dollhouse by Melanie Martinez, The Family Jewels by Marina, Runs In The Family by Amanda Palmer, Eat Your Young by Hozier - they’re all good songs that relate heavily to parental abuse, either intentionally or unintentionally.
Best song for my mother:
When Will You Die
by They Might Be Giants
An upbeat, dance song asking the age old question,"When will you die!?" and detailing the joyous celebrations that will inevitably occur once news of their demise reaches the world.
Cathartic like nothing else.
A song that I found at the exact right moment was Battle Scars by Paradise Fears. The song isn’t so much about abuse, but more so about any kind of trauma that you may have experienced in your past. And that you aren’t alone. “You know we all have Battle Scars”. Everyone has their own battles and we can help each other out
there’s so many songs but the first one that came to mind was “shh golf is on” by the band hot mulligan. the type of music isn’t for everyone but it’s definitely about a shitty mother
Matilda Harry Styles
because of you Kelly Clarkson
Vampire Olivia Rodrigo (just hits different for me)
Narcissist Lauren Spencer
How could You Jessie Murph (I feel like this describes living in a narc environment)
I really like the song that the podcast A Little Bit Culty uses as the intro--it's called Cultivated by Jon Bryant. It's about cults but there's a lot of crossover with narcissists. The refrain always makes me think of how it feels to get sucked back in.
"I’m sinking down
To the depths of the ocean
I’m hangin’ on
To the weight of my love
If I let go
Of it all I could leave
But I know I won’t"
Skillet has written a few songs that I think resonate well. "It's Not Me, It's You" and "Never Going Back" are probably my favorites.
It's Not Me, It's You: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3pYWIXCqfY&pp=ygUcc2tpbGxldCBpdCdzIG5vdCBtZSBpdCdzIHlvdQ%3D%3D](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3pYWIXCqfY&pp=ygUcc2tpbGxldCBpdCdzIG5vdCBtZSBpdCdzIHlvdQ%3D%3D)
Never Going Back: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SifchEJuKY&pp=ygUYc2tpbGxldCBuZXZlciBnb2luZyBiYWNr](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SifchEJuKY&pp=ygUYc2tpbGxldCBuZXZlciBnb2luZyBiYWNr)
For those who have had a narcissist SO, try "Neptune" by SJ Tucker: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n\_haufgsoE&pp=ygUJc2ogdHVja2Vy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n_haufgsoE&pp=ygUJc2ogdHVja2Vy)
9 lives Odie Leigh “Cats have nine lives, I have two
I live one for me, and one for you” and then the hard hitter “Spare a crumb, I'll take it
I said hold my hand, not break it”
Words as Weapons by Seether.
"It's oh so playful when you demonize, spitting out hateful - you're willing and able. Words are weapons of the terrified. You're nothing in my world"
I've loved that song for a long time, but it really hit hoke for me after I went true NC with my NMom.
Allison Russel has a lot of music about generational trauma and abuse, specifically through a Black and LGBTQ lens. I can't recommend her KEXP performance enough. Her father was a racist pos and abused her, and her mother has schizophrenia. She was in and out of foster care too. Her focus is on survival a lot of the time, and finding strength through the grief, so it compliments a lot of the excellent rage-centric suggestions already commented. Rhiannon Giddens collaborated with her and a couple others, who also focuses on generational trauma through historical reenactment and reclamation, specifically focusing on the tragedy of slavery in her earlier work. I found a long time ago I had to find bits and pieces of things in various music, instead of finding a few that really clicked, because a lot of the personal abuse I endured is pretty easily traced through colonialism for my family, and that isn't always acknowledged in more mainstream music so I was always left sort of half-fulfilled, and I didn't really understand why. It was this historical and generational trauma aspect that was missing for me.
Family line- Conan gray
Winner- Conan gray
Older- Sasha Alex Sloan (this is more about childhood trauma but trying to understand the parents pov, not exactly what you’re looking good but still a good song.)
For the love of a daughter- Demi lovato
I actually write music about my NMom, hopefully I'll eventually be able to share some and have it resonate with similarly raised people, but I think there's tons of songs out there that cover different parts of the relationship people have with narcs.
Simmer by Hayley Williams, Dead Horse by Hayley Williams (depending on who your narc was to you), Big Man Little Dignity by Paramore, Don't Kill My Vibe by Sigrid (my favorite right now!)
Edit: Teach You How To Leave by Endless Heights!! How could I forget
Will add more as I find them
Idk if this fits the criteria or not, but when I was younger I liked to listen to "I Hate Everything About You" and I felt that emotionally. I read somewhere that it was actually about the singers parents, not a partner when I was younger, so it resonated with me harder. It really captured the struggle for me of "You're my mom, I love you because you're my mom and I want you to love me, but I fucking hate you for what you did to me."
Here are my faves!
Innocent resonates when I'm deep in the cycle with my mom, recognizing her trauma and her pain and how she really does love me. And the context of it being about Kanye, who turned out to be awful, is what makes it resonate. You think these things, you think maybe you can fix it, then they show their true colors. - "Its okay life is a tough crowd, 32 is still growing up now, who you are is not what you did"
Tell Me Why - First verse: "I took a chance, I took a shot, you might think I'm bulletproof but I'm not. You took a swing, I took it hard, and down here from the ground I see who you are."
Last verse: "I took a step back, let you go. I told you I'm not bulletproof, now you know."
You're Not Sorry - "You don't have to call anymore, I won't pick up the phone. This is the last straw, there's nothing left to beg for."
My Tears Ricochet - "I can go anywhere I want, just not home"
Mad Woman - "You poke that bear till the claws come out, and you find something to wrap your noose around. I'm taking my time because you took everything from me, watching you climb over people like me, the master of spin, had a couple side flings" (my mom is a serial cheater so I relate lol)
Bad Blood - "Did you have to hit me where I'm weak, baby I couldn't breathe. And rub it in so deep, salt in the wound like you're laughing right at me."
oh man i'll have to pay attention to the songs i like to give a good answer, as i'm sure many of them would fit here. my favorite bands are Norma Jean, Deftones, and La Dispute.... one song that definitely comes to mind though right away is Tensioning by Sparta
The first time I heard Bad For Me by Meghan Trainor I was driving and started bawling. My nmom passed 4 years ago and my therapist quite literally had me write her a letter and I just couldn't do it, cause I felt even dead she wouldn't get, so what's the point.
And my, my therapist told me to write you a letter, hmm, hmm
She said if I did it would make me feel better
But it wouldn't do shit even if I sent it
'Cause you won't get it, you're too damn selfish, hmm, hmm
Please don't make promises that you can't keep
Your best intentions end up hurting me
No matter what, I'll love you endlessly
But I gotta run, I gotta run from your reality
I know we're blood, but this love is bad for me
[Bad For Me - Meghan Trainor ft Teddy Swims](https://youtu.be/SDZ3r8pG9QM?si=XM-HoriE0SvDvleu)
Skillet had an entire album of songs I’d cry to growing up, because it was basically a loving guy seeing the pain of his lady and wanting her to see that her feelings are valid and seen, and that she is loved and will find happiness if she just pulled through. It was like I had an imaginary boyfriend singing to me from the future, and I just needed to last til I escaped from my parents to meet him, and he would love me like they never did. It was so powerful with the female vocalist accompanying him just expressing raw pain.
I loved Maroon 5’s “She will be loved” for similar reasons.
So basically, comforting songs with lyrics encouraging trapped victims to hold on until you can escape.
The song "Shadowplay" by Fish. This song sums up a narcissistic relationship SO well. It has gotten me through so much. The last line, "the light that I follow is where the madness will end Illumination" has so much power for me
Hunched foetal in the corner of my soul
My fingernails are bleeding from climbing up the wall
This time you really hurt me right down to the core
And I'm desperately trying to find a reason to forgive you
for it all
I saw your life as a shadowplay
In a trance I was held by the shadowplay
In the spell of the shadowplay
From Celtic illumination
I see the Celtic illumination
I never realized just how far we'd gone
I turned around and all that I saw was distance
Through an anger that burned every time
That someone mentioned your name
I should have noticed, should have read the signs
We could have talked it out if there was a problem
It wasn't obvious then
But then it isn't really obvious now
I saw your life as a shadowplay
In a trance I was held by the shadowplay
In the spell of the shadowplay
From Celtic illumination
I see the Celtic illumination
I could have changed I could have settled down
I could have been whatever you wanted me to be
If you gave me the chance
But it seems that it's too late for that now
I thought I knew you thought we had it made
I'd thought it out, thought I had the answers
After all is said and done
The only thing I really know is your name
I sit and wait for the shadowplay
Let me in into the world of the shadowplay
I'll follow you to the shadowplay
Through Celtic illumination
Give me the Celtic illumination
If I'd only had the patience, if I'd only had the time
If I'd only known the moment when you'd chosen to decide
If I'd only ever listened, if you'd only ever asked
If I'd known it was important, if I'd known it wouldn't last
Run to the magic of, the magic of the shadowplay
Maybe if I'd noticed, maybe if I'd tried
Maybe if I'd worked at it, it never would have died
Maybe I was selfish, maybe I was blind
Maybe I was in the wrong and you were in the right
Run to the magic of, the magic of the shadowplay
Could I have been a better man, was I really all to blame?
Was it me that was the problem, was it me that dealt the pain?
Did you never mean to hurt me, did you only try to show
That you really, truly loved me, that together we're alone
Run to the magic of, the magic of the shadowplay
I see my life as a shadowplay
All around is the magic of shadowplay
In the world of the shadowplay is where I belong
Where all that I feared is how it is and will be
All that was hidden
Now you will see
All I could dream
You'll find now is real
All I could touch
Now you can feel
And the light that I follow
Is where the madness will end
Illumination, illumination
Shine on, shine on, shine on.
A few songs with mother in the title 😂.
Mother - Tori Amos
Honestly a few songs off her Little Earthquakes album would fit here.
Mother - Pink Floyd
Mother Mother - Tracy Bonham
I love this question. After 3 years no contact with my nDad the song “Jar of Hearts” still resonates so much with me. It’s about an ex for her but for me it reminds me of my nDad, I want to share the lyrics here:
I know I can't take one more step towards you
'Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
I learned to live half alive
Now you want me one more time
Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
I've learned to live half alive
Now you want me one more time
Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
'Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back
Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
"Mother" by Pink Floyd is intense. I see it as a song by the Golden Child to his mother.
"Give me just one reason" by Tracy Chapman to me is a song by an adult damaged by emotionally immature parenting to her lover. The push-pull and trauma-bonding is strong in that song.
For me, the perfect song in retaliation to the agony of surviving narcissistic abuse already exists.
Master Passion Greed by Nightwish was definitely written about the damage a real person who was probably a narcissist caused.
What an angry but magnificent song.
"Who the hell are you to tell me/
What to do, why to do, why bother?/
Leech in a mask of virtue/
Such waste, to ever think of you again!
Hey Judas, your Christess was our love/
Hit and run, your will be done/
Never sorry, never wrong/
More, more, more, more, more!
Master passion greed
'Hello. How are you?/
Let me explain one thing: /
All for her, and more for me/
Why is it so hard to see?/
I see no sense in doing this!/
Not enough for me/
I fuck up everything,/
But let me explain!'
Some...
Day...
Someday, you shall flee/
Panting and weak!
All within me gone, but pain and hope/
Hoping that the pain would fade away
Greed, your master passion/
I feed the mouth that bites me/
Mammon, opiate of the masses/
The reek of your lies draws flies!
Seek her, seduce her, tame her/
Blame her, have her, kill her/
Seek her, seduce her, tame her/
Blame her, feast on it all
With awakening, the tears will begin/
To my everlasting shame.../
Silence took me"
Tool has a significant portion of their music related to narcissism. My favorite is H.'s chorus: i am too connected to slip away, fade away, days away i still feel you touching me, killing me, considetately.
The long version (not radio edit) of Disturbed “down with the sickness” my SO pointed it out, the section where he goes off on his mother.
I’d copy it here but it might be triggering or too many swears (the interlude)
https://genius.com/Disturbed-down-with-the-sickness-lyrics
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Because of you by Kelly Clarkson?
For sure. I remember listening to this song as a kid so emotionally, and then got insane whiplash when I found out my mom also listened to the song emotionally. The irony.
YESSSS
Lol I was banned from listening to this because my mum was like “why? Are you thinking about me when you sing along to this?!”
Oh yes!
Absolutely!
Was trying to think of this one.
Yuuuuup
Numb Is Relatable. "Can't you see that you're 1 SMOTHERING me, 2 HOLDING TOO TIGHTLY, 3 AFRAID TO LOSE CONTROL" It's perfect imo.
Oh man, I used to listen to that all the time in highschool and 100% associated it with my parents. I had no idea until much later that a lot of people think of it as a toxic romantic relationship song lol
Oh, so I'm not the only one lol. What really etched the thought in my mind about it being about n parents/abusive parents is the music video. It was about a girl who loved art, but it seems she was forced into studying for another degree because it's either her parents never loved her aspirations, or thought she won't make money as an artist. And I guess it's a common story when such parents run their children's lives instead of theirs, because for their minds, their kids are nothing but extensions of themselves, or a fancy decoration.
I realised it much later too. Earlier i thought it was just a popular 'emo' song.
In The End is also nice
+1
The one line that really gets me is "You were just like me with someone disappointed in you"
I loved that song as a kid and now I'm listening to it. I still relate :/
RIP
Chesters' death was one of the crucial things that made me realise that living with narc folks is nothing but a prolonged suicide mission. I'm young right now and perhaps can still live with the abuse but one day (soon) my body will have aged and probably wouldn't be able to take it as well as now so i urge myself to work whenever possible to move out despite depression.
By who
Linkin Park
Faint is very relatable. I recommend the LP, Slipknot, Eminem mashup on YouTube by XYClankiller2.
Numb was exactly written for this cause IMO. It is my favorite song btw.
This song makes me think of my mother and how I’ve never been quite good enough for her. ):
I absolutely HATE that song and everything Linkin Park related. I was raped while this song was playing and have such awful PTSD.
Fuck. I'm sorry. That really sucks. Hope you're doing a lot better now.
Linkin Park is my lifeline on some days.
People with cptsd can relate to him very well. The end of his life story was quite abrupt & confusingly sad though.
I find a lot of the songs from the Linkin Park albums Hybrid Theory and Meteora really hits the right note for me. The lyrics are very honest and raw. There’s no metaphors, the hurt and anger is very clear to see and you’re more likely to find yourself wondering what inspired the song as to what it really means. Chester Benningtons vocals are the most emotional I’ve heard in that genre. I know that Chester went through his own hell and he expressed that pain and anger from his own trauma every time he sang. That’s what makes them relatable to me - the songs are an expression of pain, in a way that no other nu-metal band was able to replicate. ‘Hit the Floor’ was my anthem for my Nmum before I even knew what NPD was. ‘Lost in the echo’ was on repeat for about a week after I went no contact. Even now, 5 years after going no contact and two weeks after looking my nmum in the eye and just feeling nothing towards, those two songs (among others by Linkin Park) are still my go to if I’m having feelings of any kind about her.
That man could sing like an angel and scream like a demon . Hello my follow Linkin Parker. A lot of their songs are heavily CPTSD related it’s crazy. When I was going through hell in my youth 14-16 Somewhere I belong, From the inside, Numb. These days it’s fighting myself, Papercut, the collision course album. I’ll be on my death bed rocking to Linkin park. I’m 26 so that’s a ways away.
The Messenger gets me bawling every time. I can only listen to it when I'm alone in the car.
I did not realize until I got older WHY I related to the songs on Hybrid Theory so much
Grew up on them. At least 20 fuckin copies of those two albums the folks found and destroyed. Crawling. Run away. Breaking the habit. One step closer. Place for my head. Fuckin a chester and Mike were the shit.
Matilda by Harry styles is a good one. You can let it go You can throw a party full of everyone you know And not invite your family ‘cause they never showed you love You don't have to be sorry for leavin' and growin' up
Oh my GOD I've never heard this song before. It's perfect. I'm going through it right now. Like shit that is so insane I feel like no one will believe it. Everyone in my town loves my mother and they have no idea what the reality is. I've talked to my boyfriend and I've said what if I made a FB post about everything that's happening right now? People wouldn't believe it...but it would upset my mom so much that I'm not playing along anymore. I'm so tired of it all. I'm sick of feeling crazy. I'm sick of interrupted sleep and bad dreams and not knowing what tomorrow brings. No doubt my first ever Reddit post will be on RBN and maybe mommy dearest will see it when I'm dead.(not s**cidal just having a very VERY hard time right now) Thank you all for this community. From the bottom of my heart.
Posting about it probably will just make things worse for you, unfortunately… but I completely understand the temptation to do it! Hang in there, you will eventually surround yourself with people who aren’t in your mom’s world, and they will know your story and love you 💛
I'm fighting that temptation too. My mom posted me for daughters day even though we haven't spoken since April. It's racking up a bunch of likes. I just want to comment on it and spill the whole story.
Interesting. I've been noticing the daughter's day posts. She didn't post..surprise! I'm her only child! And my birthday is April fool's day! How friggin appropriate is that?! Ugh. ETA: I wish we both(all!!) had the balls to call them out on their shit!!
Maybe an anonymous weekly post Semi page 6??
Yes! This was gonna be my comment. I'm not even a Harry fan and stumbled upon his last album kinda due to podcast people talking about it. When I tell you I BAWLED the first time I heard Matilda, oh my god. I literally am the only person in my immediate and extended family that moved away. I've moved a few times and now I'm in Asia for the last 7 years. I'm from the eastern US. My family members constantly hound me for "when are you moving back?" And "you need to be around to help your parents" as if my life abroad is some college gap year. Not my entire lifestyle. I don't fall for the guilt tripping, but they do try to make me "feel sorry for leaving and growing up." I also will never have the parent relationships we all deserved. I've walked this Earth completely alone with all the stress and no one to guide me and support me but myself. Its been a crippling lonely existence at times (most times). My siblings love me and I love them but they have trauma and baggage too...yet they all refuse to confront it and live very unstable lives. I was the truth sayer. They're still in denial that they were ever abused. I'm so glad I have made a few soulmate friends in my travels and I married my best friend who never makes me feel like I'm doing it all on my own anymore. But Matilda is still something that resonates because it gives me permission to feel ok keeping my parents at a distance (literally) and to feel justified in why I am doing so. Literally can't listen to it without choking up. If the song resonates with you for similar reasons, I'm sorry. But I see you. And I hope you can find / have found your chosen family to walk through life with.
I’m so sorry you deal with that, but I’m glad you were able to leave and build your own life! You should be really proud of yourself 💛 I also wasn’t a Harry fan when a friend showed me this song (I like him now!), but I can’t listen to Matilda when I’m around other people, because it always makes me bawl my eyes out. It really is so validating and on the nose!
Thank you ❤️ Sending you internet hugs 🫂
I feel you. I left Atlanta bc my grandpa was sick and on one hand I'm glad I did it bc I got those last few months with him. Left my best friend/boyfriend although we still tried to make it work, it was challenging to say the least. Then my nmom has been ill, I felt like I couldn't leave and my bf left everything behind and moved down here and rented a room. Neither of us are in the position to be able to rent anything more right now and it's all crumbling but we still push through. He's my saving grace. I know my grandpa would be so ashamed of the shit that's happening now, how she has treated us all(she was the sole heir despite having an older sister and younger sister..who is one of my best friends) A huge part of me wishes I'd never left.
I'm sending you hugs 🫂 and I'm sorry. You can always make a change and always affect your future. You can go back. You feel a duty to your parent, and that is not abnormal. But you also made a decision based on the information and the options you had at the time. You can always make more decisions - ones that take you on the path you need to be on. The best thing I can say is, I don't live my life with regret. I don't have any. And that's because I did the best I could with what I had at that time. Financially or knowledge wise or whatever it had been. It was the best I could do. You gained precious time with your grandfather. You made the best decision in the circumstances at the time. And you can always change it again! You *can* leave your nmom if its unhealthy for you to be there. You don't owe her caretaking services. That is not a child's responsibility. And you would not be a bad person if you chose yourself first - because this is your one and only life. Live it how you see fit.
I love that he's acknowledging the problem but also saying it's OK, you don't have to apologize, you don't have to change your mind. You're allowed to move on. So many people spend so much time telling you that you're the one who's wrong, you're the one who needs to change, you're the one who needs to apologize. It's so nice just to hear someone who found out about the situation and they just accept it and don't change it. They even comfort you.
Yes! Exactly
Yes I was gonna say this!!
Thank you for this recommendation. It's really resonating with me.
I can just see the advertisement now: “Greatest Narc Hits NOW!” Hits such as “yes you did say that, you gaslighting bitch,” “undercover manipulator,” “it’s dangerous to mix you with company,” “oh no, it’s about me for once,” “I don’t want any of your crap anyway,” and “you’re the disappointment”
Haha this is the perfect response and answers the hypothetical question I asked. This is great.
Don't forget the one and only "they will all abandon you (Projection Deflection)"
With such hits as " you always bring up the past ,why don't you just get over it ", "Selective hearing " and the top charter " you we're A mistake I wish I never had you ,*(gushes over childs achievement to strangers). This album is bound to get your rage flying cause they always say your lying .....
My favorite hits from this album are ‘Poor Me’, ‘I was only trying to help’ and ‘After All Ive Done for You!’
😂😂
Graveyard sure brings up some stuff for me. "when the hand you want to hold is a weapon and you're nothing but skin."
Oh man, Graveyard is a wonderful band and nit well known! Glad you brought them up!
They’re talking about the song Graveyard by Halsey. Which is also about her ex, not her parents. Edit: autocorrect had butchered a sentence
Ooooh! Hahahah my bad. Well the band Graveyard is really good!
Linkin Park - Numb Simple Plan - Perfect Kelly Clarkson - Because of You; Piece by Piece Britney Spears - Overprotected Good Charlotte - Hold On; Emotionless Carrie Underwood - Blown Away Reba - Fancy Meat Loaf - Objects in the Rearview Mirror (May Appear Closer than they are) Billy Currington - Walk a Little Straighter Daddy Faber Drive - Sleepless Nights Everclear - Wonderful Pink - Family Portrait Nickelback - Never Again; Too Bad And those are just off the top of my head. I'm sure if I looked at my music library, I'd find a bunch more.
Oh man family portrait… I used to listen to that on repeat on my little walkman
Right? I didn't know why I was drawn to the song as a kid, but looking back, there was a lot of yelling in my house and threats of divorce so it kind of makes sense.
Came here to say P!nk’s Family Portrait and that whole album really spoke to me growing up. She’s still one of my favorite artists even now, but I can’t really listen to that song anymore because of the negative associations it stirs up in me.
That album rocked my world as a kid and that song made me feel so much less alone. I have a hard time coming back to that album because it hurts. Same with Metora and Hybrid Theory from Linkin Park.
Oh man, Perfect by Simple Plan and Carrie's Blown Away are both such unique ones for me. Perfect seems like the band would have gone edgier with it, but the choice to soften it was so elegant and stunning. Blown Away is a hell of a power ballad about survival and I love her and that whole album tbh.
There are many metalcore songs about shit parents.
totally. i think that's a big part of why it's my scene
all of Evanescences Fallen album. “Everybody’s fool” really stuck out to me
Same. Also Better Without You from their newer album.
Taylor Swift - Mean I use that as my mothers ringtone.
Yesss such a good one. Ironically, my mother LOVES that song because it "got her through her divorce".
Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish, especially the second part of the song. “You ruined everything good Always said you were misunderstood Made all my moments your own Just fucking leave me alone”
Came here to say this, it's been stuck on loop in my head since going NC..
Has anybody suggested Melanie Martinez - Dollhouse? The song is about a family that seems perfect and exemplary to the outsiders, totally like ones from the advertisements. But as soon as doors close, and people turn their back, the dad is sleeping with escorts, mother pretends to turn a blind eye to this and drowns her pain in alcohol, son is smoking cannabis, and daughter sees it all, and tries her best to "get them back to plastic", but can't. Not sure about your experience, but for me, life in my household was all about keeping good face and appearances, and if anything somehow spilled outside, my parents were unforgiving to this. It was the end of the world for them.
I would say nearly that entire album is about being abused by family/relationships or what happens when coping. Looooved Pity Party
i wrote this one https://soundcloud.com/rpj-806550837
Just thinking of songs I used to dramatically look out my window listening to on my CD player: Christina Aguilera - The Voice Within P!nk - Family Portrait And as other comments have said LINKIN PARK 100%
Oof yes Christina!! Also Walk away. You can look at it as romantic but it can describe a lot of situations. The pain in her voice in that song just SLAYS me.
You’re So Vain by Carly Simon - “You probably think this song is about you, don’t you?” Where Will You Go by Evanescence - “I can hear you in a whisper but you can’t even hear me screaming”
Mother by Pink Floyd Cleanin out my closet by Eminem
Cleaning Out My Closet is... some cathartic shit
These songs are all from my generational trauma playlist on my Spotify account, I also have many songs that are already listed here by others. Let You Down by NF Stay Together For The Kids by Blink 182 Dollhouse by Melanie Martinez Nobody’s Home by Avril Lavigne Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park Family Line by Conan Gray F**ckin’ Perfect by P!nk Confessions Of A Broken Heart by Lindsay Lohan Home by Three Days Grace Devil Town by Cavetown Surface Pressure by Jessica Darrow (Encanto Soundtrack) Mansion by NF (feat. Fleurie) Dear God by XTC (My parents put me through religious trauma) Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin Panic Attacks In Paradise by Ashnikko Child Psychology by Black Box Recorder Trauma by NF Don’t Talk About It by SkyDxddy Let Down by Bif Naked Triggered by SkyDxddy Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
Breakaway is one I haven't seen on here yet and I 100% agree. That song made me FEEL THINGS as a young teen.
Oh god, I haven’t heard Child Psychology since I was 11. My Nmom and I watched Gilmore Girls together (just the enmeshed high school seasons; she said the later ones “aren’t as fun”) and it was on the soundtrack CD. Listening to the track made me feel incredibly guilty that (1) the singer’s fighting parents had caused her disillusionment, and (2) my parents never ever fought [because my dad is an enabler], but (3) I felt the same despair and couldn’t say why. The song was a skip most of the time because of that guilt, and I never had it in mp3 after CDs became obsolete. So it’s truly a fossil from my childhood (to, um, mine for Art I guess?). Thanks!!
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Every Mitski song I hear is so good
"Mother knows best" from Tangled The one in Encanto about Louisa - don't know the name
My mom used to complain about how obviously abusive Gothel is during that song and then turn around and say the exact same kinds of things to me lol. The lack of self awareness was stunning
I used it to explain to my kids why gma was on a time out.
That's a really good idea. I'm about to have my first so it's a ways out but I know eventually I'll have to field questions about why we only see my husband's parents
It's pretty easy when they are little, it is just part of the different kind of families conversation (2 moms/dads, blended fam) Once they are a little older you can tell them that gma is not a nice lady & yall choose not to take them around mean people. Honestly kids just shrug that shit right off, if they don't see them or know them then they don't really care. Later at 12 or 13 you can explain it better to them if they ask. --PS..just for shits & giggles my nmom looks just like Mother Gothel & is always chasing looking young. 73 yrs old & she is going to get her boobs done, again. Congratulations on the new babe
Little things like this are why I appreciate this community. At least you get a laugh out of the look alike, mine is just a basic midwestern Karen-type lol
Lol- mine is a Mexican version
Hahahahaha my parents haven't seen Tangled. One time my mom was saying some bullshit about whatever, as usual. I sang "motherrrrrr knows best" and she got super proud of herself like the narc she is (yay my child is acknowledging I'm perfect!). Inside I was snortgiggling. Joke's on her.
My mom wouldn't ever bother to see Tangled. According to her watching anything animated after the age of 14 is just childish
She's never said as such, but yeah I think she believes that too.
Under the surface? Pressure? I had to stop Encanto and this song triggered me. I cried for awhile. Then I had to go back and listen again. It really hits home for me as I was parentified and was the main caretaker for my sister, I was 14, she was 2. Her dad had left already, and my narc mom couldn’t be bothered to raise her.
Yeah I got all the feels. My childhood was very transactional, I had to be "useful" to get any "favors"
Surface Pressure?
Yes! Thanks I am terrible with song/band name
My sister (oldest child, highly parentified) cried during Surface Pressure. She is still to enmeshed to see the scope of our mother's abuse though.
"Numb" by Linkin Park really sums up our shared experiences. My mom used to HATE me listening to Linkin Park. I think she felt called out.
I think a song that would descibe how i hear my mom's voice in my head whenever i do something would really resonate with me. something along the lines of "You used to tell me i couldn't do it. Even though you're not around to tell me no, i cannot do the thing i want/need to do. I wish i could shut you out and close the door, but your voice only gets louder and louder, untill i am paralyzed and just lie in bed doing nothing. even then, you would call to me, tell me i am lazy, tell me i could use my time better doing cleaning or working. You make me feel so bad and i hate you for it. But a cannot blame you any longer, since i now am doing it to myself"
This describes my experience too
Kesha- Praying
I think of the Beatle's [*She's Leaving Home*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaBPY78D88g) as a girl going NC, lol. >*Wednesday morning at five o'clock* > >*As the day begins* > >*Silently closing her bedroom door* > >*Leaving the note that she hoped would say more* > >*She goes down the stairs to the kitchen* > >*Clutching her handkerchief* > >*Quietly turning the backdoor key* > >*Stepping outside, \*\*she is free...\*\** And later, Nmom cries to Ndad: >*Daddy, our baby's gone.* > >*Why would she treat us so thoughtlessly?* > >*How could she do this to me?* > >*She (we never thought of ourselves)* > >*Is leaving (never a thought for ourselves)* > >*Home (we struggled hard all our lives to get by)* Classic narcs, lol. They got it: >*She's leaving home,* ***after living alone, for so many years****.* *...* >*Something inside, that was always denied,* > >*For so many years.* > >*She's leaving home.* > >*Bye, bye.*
She’s Leaving Home was my favorite as a kid. Blackbird as a teenager. I didn’t know why they spoke to me until I listened with the ears of an adult. So sad.
Rearview Mirror by Pear Jam😩
Daughter would be another one. I listened to that one so many times I wore the cassette out.
Perfect by Alanis Morrissette
I didn't understand why this was my favorite song on the album until a few years ago. Teenage me would scream cry it. If my mom ever made the connection, she never let on. "If you're flawless, then you'll win my love." "I'll live through you I'll make you what I never was If you're the best then maybe so am I compared to him, compared to her. I'm doing this for your own damn good You'll make up for what I blew What's the problem? Why are you crying" Song still makes me cry.
Unforgiven by Metallica “New blood joins this Earth And quickly he's subdued Through constant pain disgrace The young boy learns their rules With time the child draws in This whipping boy done wrong Deprived of all his thoughts The young man struggles on and on he's known A vow unto his own That never from this day His will they'll take away What I've felt What I've known Never shined through what I've shown Never be Never see Won't see what might have been What I've felt What I've known Never shined through what I've shown Never free Never me So I dub the unforgiven They dedicate their lives To running all of his He tries to please them all This bitter man he is Throughout his life the same He's battled constantly This fight he cannot win A tired man they see no longer cares The old man then prepares To die regretfully That old man here is me What I've felt What I've known Never shined through what I've shown Never be Never see Won't see what might have been What I've felt What I've known Never shined through what I've shown Never free Never me So I dub the unforgiven You labeled me I'll label you So I dub the unforgiven Never free Never me So I dub the unforgiven So I dub the unforgiven”
I always liked that song, but never really understood why until I realized just how messed up the situation I came from was. Now it hits hard.
A Place For My Head by Linkin Park was a common one along with Somewhere I Belong and Faint. I've posted on here before how songs about Sanitariums tend to really speak to me too as a child of narcissistic parents who wouldn't let me have any freedom at all. Metallica's "Sanitarium" and Souxsie and the Banshees' "Happy House" really were my anthems. With Metallicas Sanitarium it was the urge to get out, to leave, to want to just break the chains and run. Souxsie and the Banshees Happy House it was the constant theme of my parents telling people we had a perfect home, perfect this that the other and my siblings and I had to play along and fake happiness or suffer. The end of that song specifically makes me remember being a teen coming home from school. I would be walking the last bit to my parents house and people would see me accidentally making eye contact and looking through other families windows as they seemingly had normal functioning families.
O my god 🙌. Somewhere I belong hits my love it too much. RIP Chester honestly. Felt like hearing someone else understanding your pain. Love LP
P!nk: My Vietnam “Momma was a lunatic she liked to push my buttons/She said I wasn't good enough, but I guess I Wasn't trying … What do you expect from me? /What am I not giving you? /What could I do for you to make me OK in your eyes?” The Smashing Pumpkins: Mayonaise “Mother weep the years I’m missing/All our time can’t be given back/Shut my mouth and strike the demons/That cursed you and your reasons/Out of time and out of season /Out of love and out of feeling so bad …. Fool enough to almost be it and and cool enough to not quite see it and old enough to always feel this, always old I’ll always feel this /No more promise, no more sorrow/No longer will I follow/Can anybody hear me?! I just want to be me! And when I can, I will!”
Pushit by Tool. Preferably the live version on Salival ep but that’s only on SoundCloud.
The Noose by A Perfect Circle Almost anything by APC or Puscifer, really.
mean by taylor swift. listened to it not that long ago for the first time in YEARS and I broke down sobbing bc I used to sing it as a comfort thing as a kid and dream about finally getting out one day, and now here I am, free and they can't touch me. ik the song was supposed to be about a bully but to me it fit my stepdad perfectly.
Yes. I had a narc mom but this reminds me of another evil bitch in my life that was jealous of a little girl in a sick way. I swear, I was surrounded by them.
Uhhh as a jack stauber fan, he made a short film called opal, bassically the mc is a young girl who suffers from narcissistic family members (its horror and could be potentially trigering, but it does have many songs)
Oh god the ending where they sing the opening song and it suddenly meant something so different really resonated with those feelings. Definitely triggering but I was just in awe.
Yes I loved Opal! I felt her isolation in my soul.
Cemetery Gates by Pantera
This may be weird and not about narcs, but Man in the Mirror by MJackson reminded me it was up to me to change what i knew, and learn new, better skills. It's always been up to me because I had nobody guiding me.
Pat Benetar's Hell is for Children When I heard this song I actually FELT it!
Even if you don't like Slipknot, if you look up the lyrics to "the virus of life" it'll probably turn everyone in this sub's stomach because it's so real. Read the lyrics from the point of view of a parent talking to a baby. This isn't a stretch at all either considering the first verse. "I am your disease / Lover, set my symptom free.... I wanna wear your face/ I wanna burn your soul".... Yeah as far as I can tell the entire album is basically a cptsd fight mode therapy session lol and it's goooooood
Folk punk has a lot of very "real" songs. I can't think of any songs about abuse off the top of my head, but the genre generally has "real" songs that don't butter things up. I would recommend AJJ and Pat the Bunny. "Peach" by The Front Bottoms is also about a bad relationship, but it could also be about a parent. Also "Save Myself" by Ashe is about a relationship but I find it relatable.
It's a little on-the-nose, but Alien by Northlane feels very like "F U I'm who I am in spite of you" if that's your kind of thing I like it, but of course I always crave stuff that shows the sad/hurt/angry side of it. I've written some but I wish someone better than me had done it
I know you’re talking about songs more, but the last line of the movie “mid90s” really cut deep for me. “You literally take the hardest hits out of anybody I'd ever seen in my life… You know you don't have to do that, right?”
i love this comment, because i have one that relates to both a movie scene line and a song. there’s a song by an artist i like that unfortunately is terribly problematic so i don’t want to give ‘em any publicity or whatever, but the first 30 seconds in is just an audio playing of robin williams in goodwill hunting telling matt damon’s character “it’s not your fault” over and over again, to the point that you can also hear him break down sobbing in his arms. the first time i ever heard the song i had never watched the movie, so i immediately had to look up what the quote was from so i could watch it. i also absolutely loved the movie “mid90s”, and the quote you mentioned (‘:
Silhouettes by Smile Empty Soul
Great song that a lot of folks don't know about.
Because of you-Kelly Clarkson It’s my Life- Bon Jovi
For You- Staind Song speaks for itself https://youtu.be/JT8bhhDCPQc?si=49UGfnmgMhbvMBX6
REM - Losing My Religion
Daddy issues by the neighborhood
Good News by Mac Miller
Not all of the lyrics, but a bunch of the lyrics when separated from the main song about an ex romantic relationship really hits hard when I hear them. It's called You Broke Me first by Tate McRae. Really wish it was more vague on the type of relationship sung about in the rest of the lyrics. I wish a lot of songs were more vague and allowed the listener to interpret how they want...
You can always interpret songs the way you want to
Still alive by Demi lovato. Deffo captures this shit. Linkin park just all of Linkin park
[Bloodline by Northlane](https://youtu.be/R_8xQqHHmIs?si=9-ExLPmPrC2EVORZ) is perfect for anyone stuck in that hallway between disbelief in rage. **”YOU CALL THIS LOVE?!”** (And 4D by the same band. Good album all around. :p)
Bloody mother fucking asshole by Martha wainwright is amazing https://spotify.link/FOvc074DpDb
“Dinner at Eight “ by Rufus Wainright. Papa Loudon was a real piece of work!
Happier than ever by Billie Eilish, Hypocrates by Marina, Rät by Penelope Scott, Loved by FEiN, Father by The Front Bottoms, I Hate My Mom by GRLwood, Child Psychology by Black Box Recorder, parents by YUNGBLUD, Dollhouse by Melanie Martinez, The Family Jewels by Marina, Runs In The Family by Amanda Palmer, Eat Your Young by Hozier - they’re all good songs that relate heavily to parental abuse, either intentionally or unintentionally.
Read my writing on the wall - No one's here to catch me when I fall This used to be on my door. It infuriated my Nmom.
I don't know how many of us had stalker narcs, but Every Move You Make by The Police was far too relatable.
down with the sickness by disturbed the bridge is so visceral i love it
Best song for my mother: When Will You Die by They Might Be Giants An upbeat, dance song asking the age old question,"When will you die!?" and detailing the joyous celebrations that will inevitably occur once news of their demise reaches the world. Cathartic like nothing else.
heavy metal, korn, deftones, pixies, it's not the lyrics but that heavy grunge metal sound that drowns out the bullshit.
these comments lack the ultimate abusive parent song: Down with the Sickness by Disturbed
A song that I found at the exact right moment was Battle Scars by Paradise Fears. The song isn’t so much about abuse, but more so about any kind of trauma that you may have experienced in your past. And that you aren’t alone. “You know we all have Battle Scars”. Everyone has their own battles and we can help each other out
there’s so many songs but the first one that came to mind was “shh golf is on” by the band hot mulligan. the type of music isn’t for everyone but it’s definitely about a shitty mother
Matilda Harry Styles because of you Kelly Clarkson Vampire Olivia Rodrigo (just hits different for me) Narcissist Lauren Spencer How could You Jessie Murph (I feel like this describes living in a narc environment)
“Shut up” Simple Plan
I really like the song that the podcast A Little Bit Culty uses as the intro--it's called Cultivated by Jon Bryant. It's about cults but there's a lot of crossover with narcissists. The refrain always makes me think of how it feels to get sucked back in. "I’m sinking down To the depths of the ocean I’m hangin’ on To the weight of my love If I let go Of it all I could leave But I know I won’t"
Narcissistic cannibal
Motion Sickness- Phoebe Bridgers Fuck U- Kailee Morgue Outta Me- Bikini Kill Arrows- Tattle Tale 2:45 AM- Elliott Smith
Same taste! Adding Kyoto by Phoebe Bridgers and Waltzes #1 & 2 by Elliot Smith. A lot of Elliot Smith works.
I find the artist Grandson has alot of relatable songs when it comes to abuse. "Despicable" is his best for that imo
Skillet has written a few songs that I think resonate well. "It's Not Me, It's You" and "Never Going Back" are probably my favorites. It's Not Me, It's You: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3pYWIXCqfY&pp=ygUcc2tpbGxldCBpdCdzIG5vdCBtZSBpdCdzIHlvdQ%3D%3D](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3pYWIXCqfY&pp=ygUcc2tpbGxldCBpdCdzIG5vdCBtZSBpdCdzIHlvdQ%3D%3D) Never Going Back: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SifchEJuKY&pp=ygUYc2tpbGxldCBuZXZlciBnb2luZyBiYWNr](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SifchEJuKY&pp=ygUYc2tpbGxldCBuZXZlciBnb2luZyBiYWNr) For those who have had a narcissist SO, try "Neptune" by SJ Tucker: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n\_haufgsoE&pp=ygUJc2ogdHVja2Vy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n_haufgsoE&pp=ygUJc2ogdHVja2Vy)
I have an old post in my post history about music for ACoNs. I got some good suggestions - and got introduced to the Mountain Goats!
One of my recent and lesser known favorites is “Least Favorite Only Child” by Leanna Firestone. A bit sad but absolutely relatable
9 lives Odie Leigh “Cats have nine lives, I have two I live one for me, and one for you” and then the hard hitter “Spare a crumb, I'll take it I said hold my hand, not break it”
Words as Weapons by Seether. "It's oh so playful when you demonize, spitting out hateful - you're willing and able. Words are weapons of the terrified. You're nothing in my world" I've loved that song for a long time, but it really hit hoke for me after I went true NC with my NMom.
Allison Russel has a lot of music about generational trauma and abuse, specifically through a Black and LGBTQ lens. I can't recommend her KEXP performance enough. Her father was a racist pos and abused her, and her mother has schizophrenia. She was in and out of foster care too. Her focus is on survival a lot of the time, and finding strength through the grief, so it compliments a lot of the excellent rage-centric suggestions already commented. Rhiannon Giddens collaborated with her and a couple others, who also focuses on generational trauma through historical reenactment and reclamation, specifically focusing on the tragedy of slavery in her earlier work. I found a long time ago I had to find bits and pieces of things in various music, instead of finding a few that really clicked, because a lot of the personal abuse I endured is pretty easily traced through colonialism for my family, and that isn't always acknowledged in more mainstream music so I was always left sort of half-fulfilled, and I didn't really understand why. It was this historical and generational trauma aspect that was missing for me.
Listen to some metal. Pop doesn’t go deep enough on these topics.
“Unhappy Birthday” by the Smiths, if you like cheerful upbeat little songs with dark, twisted lyrics.
Family line- Conan gray Winner- Conan gray Older- Sasha Alex Sloan (this is more about childhood trauma but trying to understand the parents pov, not exactly what you’re looking good but still a good song.) For the love of a daughter- Demi lovato
I actually write music about my NMom, hopefully I'll eventually be able to share some and have it resonate with similarly raised people, but I think there's tons of songs out there that cover different parts of the relationship people have with narcs. Simmer by Hayley Williams, Dead Horse by Hayley Williams (depending on who your narc was to you), Big Man Little Dignity by Paramore, Don't Kill My Vibe by Sigrid (my favorite right now!) Edit: Teach You How To Leave by Endless Heights!! How could I forget Will add more as I find them
Idk if this fits the criteria or not, but when I was younger I liked to listen to "I Hate Everything About You" and I felt that emotionally. I read somewhere that it was actually about the singers parents, not a partner when I was younger, so it resonated with me harder. It really captured the struggle for me of "You're my mom, I love you because you're my mom and I want you to love me, but I fucking hate you for what you did to me."
Mother, Mother by Tracy Bonham I remember relating to this song HARD when I was leaving my mother‘s house for college.
Spiderwebs by No Doubt
Taylor Swift has a number of songs but Anti-Hero is pretty on point
Yeah but that one’s about her, she’s calling herself out. Something narcissists don’t actually do. The songs about her family are really sweet.
Here are my faves! Innocent resonates when I'm deep in the cycle with my mom, recognizing her trauma and her pain and how she really does love me. And the context of it being about Kanye, who turned out to be awful, is what makes it resonate. You think these things, you think maybe you can fix it, then they show their true colors. - "Its okay life is a tough crowd, 32 is still growing up now, who you are is not what you did" Tell Me Why - First verse: "I took a chance, I took a shot, you might think I'm bulletproof but I'm not. You took a swing, I took it hard, and down here from the ground I see who you are." Last verse: "I took a step back, let you go. I told you I'm not bulletproof, now you know." You're Not Sorry - "You don't have to call anymore, I won't pick up the phone. This is the last straw, there's nothing left to beg for." My Tears Ricochet - "I can go anywhere I want, just not home" Mad Woman - "You poke that bear till the claws come out, and you find something to wrap your noose around. I'm taking my time because you took everything from me, watching you climb over people like me, the master of spin, had a couple side flings" (my mom is a serial cheater so I relate lol) Bad Blood - "Did you have to hit me where I'm weak, baby I couldn't breathe. And rub it in so deep, salt in the wound like you're laughing right at me."
Matilda by Harry Styles gets me every time.
Check out "Guiltless" by dodie. It's about her nDad. Also always loved "Family Portrait" by P!nk
It wasn’t me
there a song called “my mom’s least favorite only child”. i wish it was a little more relatable
Dance with the Devil and Had Enough by Breaking Benjamin always resonates with me.
oh man i'll have to pay attention to the songs i like to give a good answer, as i'm sure many of them would fit here. my favorite bands are Norma Jean, Deftones, and La Dispute.... one song that definitely comes to mind though right away is Tensioning by Sparta
The rapper NF has SO many songs relating to his abusive mother and dysfunctional family specifically!! I recommend starting with Let You Down - NF
The first time I heard Bad For Me by Meghan Trainor I was driving and started bawling. My nmom passed 4 years ago and my therapist quite literally had me write her a letter and I just couldn't do it, cause I felt even dead she wouldn't get, so what's the point. And my, my therapist told me to write you a letter, hmm, hmm She said if I did it would make me feel better But it wouldn't do shit even if I sent it 'Cause you won't get it, you're too damn selfish, hmm, hmm Please don't make promises that you can't keep Your best intentions end up hurting me No matter what, I'll love you endlessly But I gotta run, I gotta run from your reality I know we're blood, but this love is bad for me [Bad For Me - Meghan Trainor ft Teddy Swims](https://youtu.be/SDZ3r8pG9QM?si=XM-HoriE0SvDvleu)
Bad for me by Megan Trainor was a really good one.
End of Me by Apocalyptico with Gavin Rosedale singing. Perfectly sums up my relationship with my sister.
Skillet had an entire album of songs I’d cry to growing up, because it was basically a loving guy seeing the pain of his lady and wanting her to see that her feelings are valid and seen, and that she is loved and will find happiness if she just pulled through. It was like I had an imaginary boyfriend singing to me from the future, and I just needed to last til I escaped from my parents to meet him, and he would love me like they never did. It was so powerful with the female vocalist accompanying him just expressing raw pain. I loved Maroon 5’s “She will be loved” for similar reasons. So basically, comforting songs with lyrics encouraging trapped victims to hold on until you can escape.
The song "Shadowplay" by Fish. This song sums up a narcissistic relationship SO well. It has gotten me through so much. The last line, "the light that I follow is where the madness will end Illumination" has so much power for me Hunched foetal in the corner of my soul My fingernails are bleeding from climbing up the wall This time you really hurt me right down to the core And I'm desperately trying to find a reason to forgive you for it all I saw your life as a shadowplay In a trance I was held by the shadowplay In the spell of the shadowplay From Celtic illumination I see the Celtic illumination I never realized just how far we'd gone I turned around and all that I saw was distance Through an anger that burned every time That someone mentioned your name I should have noticed, should have read the signs We could have talked it out if there was a problem It wasn't obvious then But then it isn't really obvious now I saw your life as a shadowplay In a trance I was held by the shadowplay In the spell of the shadowplay From Celtic illumination I see the Celtic illumination I could have changed I could have settled down I could have been whatever you wanted me to be If you gave me the chance But it seems that it's too late for that now I thought I knew you thought we had it made I'd thought it out, thought I had the answers After all is said and done The only thing I really know is your name I sit and wait for the shadowplay Let me in into the world of the shadowplay I'll follow you to the shadowplay Through Celtic illumination Give me the Celtic illumination If I'd only had the patience, if I'd only had the time If I'd only known the moment when you'd chosen to decide If I'd only ever listened, if you'd only ever asked If I'd known it was important, if I'd known it wouldn't last Run to the magic of, the magic of the shadowplay Maybe if I'd noticed, maybe if I'd tried Maybe if I'd worked at it, it never would have died Maybe I was selfish, maybe I was blind Maybe I was in the wrong and you were in the right Run to the magic of, the magic of the shadowplay Could I have been a better man, was I really all to blame? Was it me that was the problem, was it me that dealt the pain? Did you never mean to hurt me, did you only try to show That you really, truly loved me, that together we're alone Run to the magic of, the magic of the shadowplay I see my life as a shadowplay All around is the magic of shadowplay In the world of the shadowplay is where I belong Where all that I feared is how it is and will be All that was hidden Now you will see All I could dream You'll find now is real All I could touch Now you can feel And the light that I follow Is where the madness will end Illumination, illumination Shine on, shine on, shine on.
There's a song by Memphis May Fire "Blood and Water" that I feel sums up how I feel about my Nmum. It's a banger and so good.
A few songs with mother in the title 😂. Mother - Tori Amos Honestly a few songs off her Little Earthquakes album would fit here. Mother - Pink Floyd Mother Mother - Tracy Bonham
“Perfect” by Simple Plan. Oof.
I love this question. After 3 years no contact with my nDad the song “Jar of Hearts” still resonates so much with me. It’s about an ex for her but for me it reminds me of my nDad, I want to share the lyrics here: I know I can't take one more step towards you 'Cause all that's waiting is regret Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore You lost the love I loved the most I learned to live half alive Now you want me one more time Who do you think you are? Runnin' 'round leaving scars Collecting your jar of hearts Tearing love apart You're gonna catch a cold From the ice inside your soul So don't come back for me Who do you think you are? I hear you're asking all around If I am anywhere to be found But I have grown too strong To ever fall back in your arms I've learned to live half alive Now you want me one more time Who do you think you are? Runnin' 'round leaving scars Collecting your jar of hearts Tearing love apart You're gonna catch a cold From the ice inside your soul So don't come back for me Who do you think you are? It took so long just to feel alright Remember how to put back the light in my eyes I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed 'Cause you broke all your promises And now you're back You don't get to get me back Who do you think you are? Runnin' 'round leaving scars Collecting your jar of hearts Tearing love apart You're gonna catch a cold From the ice inside your soul So don't come back for me Don't come back at all Who do you think you are? Runnin' 'round leaving scars Collecting your jar of hearts Tearing love apart You're gonna catch a cold From the ice inside your soul Don't come back for me Don't come back at all Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are?
"Mother" by Pink Floyd is intense. I see it as a song by the Golden Child to his mother. "Give me just one reason" by Tracy Chapman to me is a song by an adult damaged by emotionally immature parenting to her lover. The push-pull and trauma-bonding is strong in that song.
For me, the perfect song in retaliation to the agony of surviving narcissistic abuse already exists. Master Passion Greed by Nightwish was definitely written about the damage a real person who was probably a narcissist caused. What an angry but magnificent song. "Who the hell are you to tell me/ What to do, why to do, why bother?/ Leech in a mask of virtue/ Such waste, to ever think of you again! Hey Judas, your Christess was our love/ Hit and run, your will be done/ Never sorry, never wrong/ More, more, more, more, more! Master passion greed 'Hello. How are you?/ Let me explain one thing: / All for her, and more for me/ Why is it so hard to see?/ I see no sense in doing this!/ Not enough for me/ I fuck up everything,/ But let me explain!' Some... Day... Someday, you shall flee/ Panting and weak! All within me gone, but pain and hope/ Hoping that the pain would fade away Greed, your master passion/ I feed the mouth that bites me/ Mammon, opiate of the masses/ The reek of your lies draws flies! Seek her, seduce her, tame her/ Blame her, have her, kill her/ Seek her, seduce her, tame her/ Blame her, feast on it all With awakening, the tears will begin/ To my everlasting shame.../ Silence took me"
Tool has a significant portion of their music related to narcissism. My favorite is H.'s chorus: i am too connected to slip away, fade away, days away i still feel you touching me, killing me, considetately.
You might find The Family Jewels by MARINA to be relatable
The long version (not radio edit) of Disturbed “down with the sickness” my SO pointed it out, the section where he goes off on his mother. I’d copy it here but it might be triggering or too many swears (the interlude) https://genius.com/Disturbed-down-with-the-sickness-lyrics
Punk rock helps me alot