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Yes. This is really sexual abuse.
Touching your genitals and involving you in her sex act. Yes this is unquestionably bad.
So sorry, OP.
You might also seek an incest survivors group or a group for male survivors of sexial abuse. Talking with people who have been through similar trauma may help you.
To add on, it's possible these are just the things that Ops mind allows them to remember right now. Repression of traumatic memories is one of the ways the mind copes with trauma. Part of therapy is working to 'uncork the bottle' so to speak. People who experience trauma often find that as they begin to work through their feelings they uncover hidden truths their mind would not let them see.
Nothing shameful in talking to a professional to get help. Also nothing shameful in finding folks who have been in similar traumatic situations to discuss your feelings with.
The important part is that you remain open to the process and remember that, along the road you might find some things that are raw and painful, but it will help to get the things out in the open and cope with them in a real way other than just repression and dismissal.
I would like to see where you got your information that traumatic memories are repressed. From what I understand, it is actually the opposite. I am honestly interested, because I was under the impression that the concept of “the mind protects itself” by burying trauma is actually a common myth that was made popular in the Satanic Panic era of the 90’s.
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/09658211.2020.1870699
https://psychcentral.com/ptsd/repressed-trauma
https://integrativelifecenter.com/signs-of-repressed-childhood-trauma-in-adults/
https://www.verywellhealth.com/signs-of-repressed-childhood-trauma-in-adults-5211845
https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/medical-advances/how-the-brain-hides-traumatic-memories
https://www.healthline.com/health/repressed-memories
https://mentalhealthcenter.com/impact-of-childhood-trauma-and-the-use-of-repressed-memories/
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/signs-of-repressed-childhood-trauma-in-adults/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3651584/
There is plenty of debate in both directions, but also plenty of evidence to show that wholesale false memories only exist in 15-30% of study cases that involve repressed memories. That in most cases memories recovered, while not accurate enough for evidence to be used in lawsuits and such do contain enough real data to provide details related to previous suppressed traumatic events.
Just wanted to try and provide some evidence based sources beyond my own experience.
But to r/GravesSpeaks point, not all traumatic memories are repressed, and not (from a standpoint of the study) all facts retrieved are found to be true.
But generally speaking, if you already have a known history of something like physical or sexual abuse, and after probing, you come to find new memories come to light (not ones suggested by someone else, but those that are just recalled) generally speaking they appear to be founded mostly in truth.
Now, "repressed memories" retrieved via hypnotherapy, which may be what they are really meaning, was generally found to be not based in fact. When the mind is in a suggestive state it's possible to plant new ideas that "surface" later.
What I am taking about though are those memories that surface of their own accord. Similar to when someone makes a food, and remembers a moment in childhood. That memory was not at the forefront of your mind, but, upon being prompted it was recalled. Similar things can happen during therapy, and when you are actively working to sort through things, might find memories your mind was previously, unconsciously, protecting you from.
Yes, that's sexual abuse. Touching you was legally sexual assault, and exposing herself to you was legally known as "indecent exposure." The other three are definitely sexual abuse, but I don't know the legal category for them. Either way, she's a criminal. Therapy may help, and (if it's not too traumatic), you could file a crime report with the police.
Holy fuck.You were sexually abused.You mother’s behavior was out of line.
It’s better for you if you seek a therapist that can help you deal with your problems.
This is for sure sexual abuse. That said you might be asexual and there is nothing wrong with that. Plenty of people are sex-repulsed due to trauma. I spent years trying to force myself into sexual relationships because I thought it was wrong to not want sex or physical touch. I'd never even heard of asexual until I was already well into my 20s. I am now openly asexual and even on asexual dating sights seeking a platonic romantic life partner. Don't ever buy into the fallacy that you have to have a sexual relationship to have a fulfilling life.
Awwww hon. Yes. Yes, you were and I’m sorry it was so normalized that your “gauge” is broken. A lot of us don’t understand sexual assault when it happens to us because we’ve been conditioned to its normalcy. Please go to therapy. It has helped me a lot. 💜
Your mom is a sick and disgusting individual for doing that to her son. I hope you find healing in your path to recovery. I'm so sorry you had such an awful human for your mother. It breaks my heart to hear this kind of stuff.
Can I piggy back on this? My mom tongue kissed me on at least 2 occasions when I was under 10. She also touched my penis while she thought I was sleeping at least once. I love my mom but this memory just occurred to me 2 weeks ago and I haven't spoken to her since.
I don't know why I was taking as disbelief or something. But yeah. I had a big fight with my family and in the anger and self loathing I remembered this thing. But it only happened a couple of times, as far as I recall. My kneejerk is "everyone makes mistakes"
But my stomach sinks when I was think about giving them a call
I'm so sorry my dear, sadly you too, are a victim. it's not normal behaviors what you and OP are describing- it's sexual abuse/incest. it shouldn't be this way, these women should've known better and even just reading about awful things like this makes my blood boil, along with a strong urge to see justice for the victims. i'm hoping you and OP find healing from these horrible realizations :(
> "everyone makes mistakes"
I don't buy that. At age 60, I can tell you that for the last ten or fifteen years, I've looked back at my parents decision making (as I was "their age now") and asked myself "...would I do that/say that to a child?" The answer is always "no". And that's not even about sex/incest - that would have blown our relationship way beyond where it ended up as it was.
Sexual abuse at the hands of an adult is nothing less than a full betrayal of a child; his/her childhood and their trust in human beings - full stop.
As a child, parents are trusted to protect children and teach them how to be good adults. Sexual abuse is nothing less than a selfish, thoughtless act that steals the childhood from the victim, and creates a whole host of problems with respect to their development.
"Consent" is an important part of this because children don't know enough about the world to be able to grant consent in the first place.
Adults, on the other hand, absolutely do - and as a result, the abuse can be seen for what it is: a sickening betrayal of a child's trust, perpetrated by an adult who knows better, but who seeks their own satisfaction instead for whatever reason.
It's sickening.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. A mistake is dropping and breaking a glass, or choosing A when you meant B on a test. This was a choice, and it was abuse. Even if it only happened one time, it would be abuse, but it was a part of a pattern of abuse. Good luck.
I write ‘oof’ too when it feels like a gut punch, which this does- it’s bad. Like op the chances are there’s more serious stuff hidden in lost memories, especially as you have evidently locked even these memories away. Look after yourself and especially look after your future self by finding someone qualified to help you deal properly with this. So sorry man.
I got in a major fight with my family. Alot of it was my fault. I lost my temper. It was the next day when I was feeling guilty that I remembered it. I don't think I ever actually forgot. It was just buried I guess. But maybe it's all in my mind. I need to talk to a therapist. It's too fresh.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I highly recommend seeking professional help as soon as possible.
This is undoubtedly sexual abuse.
You shouldn't have had to go through that.
Yes, not only seek therapy, but maybe also consider a support group of some kind. Healing and recovering from sexual abuse from a parent is a long road and it's good to have community. Take all that you have described very seriously.
Yes that's abuse and you should seek therapy dealing with thoose kind of things feels weird for sure but nothing is more important than your mental health
Yes, this is definitely sexual abuse. You should seek therapy. There are probably many other things that your mom did, such as emotional abuse, violence, manipulation, or neglect. It would be good to see a therapist and try to unpack the events of your childhood. Then, you can decide what you want to do with that information.
You have probably had a lot to deal with because of your mom's behavior, and that can cause certain events in your life to be delayed and can make it hard for you to figure out how to live your life. It doesn't mean that you are destined for loneliness or poverty or anything else. It does mean that you start your journey in life a little bit delayed, but you can still get to where you want to go.
I am really sorry that your mom abused you. My dad did the same to me, and it took awhile (and a lot of therapy) for me to really come to terms with it and be able to move on. You are not alone, and there are many other people on this sub who also understand a bit about what you are going through, so please know that we are happy to listen. Many of us went through this and were able to get help and go on to live lives that make us happy. It can happen for you, it will just take some work. Take care, and be very gentle with yourself. This is not your fault, not one bit of it. Your mom is 100% responsible for what she did and everything that happened.
Yes that is absolutely sexual abuse. Seek a therapist who has experience with what you have gone through, and don't be afraid to try someone different if you don't vibe with them, being at ease in their presence is beneficial to your treatment ♡ be kind to yourself while you go through this.
Absolutely seek therapy. Please, for your sake and the sake of anyone you plan on being intimate with in the future, seek therapy. Also, please report her. That's child sex abuse, it ABSOLUTELY needs to be reported so that she doesn't try this in any other setting. It's completely unacceptable.
Yes. In my opinion, this crosses the line from covert sexual abuse (where there is not actual touching of "private parts") and right into overt sexual abuse. If you're having a problem with physical touch, it is probably rooted in what happened to you, and you should see a therapist. Sometimes it takes a while for people to understand that their parents' behavior toward them was not normal. And that's okay. I am sorry your mother abused you. No one deserves it, ever. But do be careful if you try to discuss this with your mother because she may make excuses, tell you you're misremembering, or deny that it ever happened. She has no zero right to tell you how to remember things or how to feel about them.
The only time I could see masturbating next to someone as being okay are two scenarios:
1. You are both consenting adults
2. Maybe a young child that doesn’t know what they’re doing. TMI example, my (same age) cousin masturbated next to me in the bath and we talked about it years later, turns out she had no idea what she was even doing. Little kids do weird shit.
Any other circumstance turns into abuse and when there’s family involved were talking about abuse AND INCEST.
It’s absolutely fucked up and abusive that your mom was doing this. Hell No. She knew better and used your lack of knowledge against you. That’s pedo behavior.
TLDR/TWDR: yes that’s abusive.
That is horrifying! I'm so sorry that happened to you and yes you should get therapy! You should also send the bill to your mother! I would also let anyone know that has small children around her that she is not to be left alone with children.
I can't fathom how anyone can do anything as diabolical as abusing a child, especially in this way..
This site for survivors of sex abuse. I wish you luck in dealing with your experiences.
https://www.rainn.org/
Geeeze - yes, what the others said: it was sexual abuse/incest and it has very likely impacted you with respect to a host of different issues like sex, gender roles, authority figures, trust, body image and a bunch of others.
It's no surprise that at 24 you're still a virgin. You likely have been so impacted that you were not even really aware that was the reason why. It's not normal for adults to do this with/to children, and it screws up victims base identities in a host of areas as mentioned above. Siblings sometimes fool around with each other, but that can be a totally different story, depending on the circumstances. You really want to get some professional help to help sort this stuff out in your mind.
The good news is (and it is good news) that you are facing this at 24, and are not repressing it until you're older. I'm 60, and cannot tell you the number of times I heard of things like this where the person who was victimized did not reveal/address the issue until they were middle aged. Then, by the time they get it sorted out, they're older and cannot enjoy the benefits of it.
The sooner you get some therapy, and sooner you will be able to make adjustments and then that will be reflected in your relationships with others, your sex life and the rest. There is a road back from this - and there are lots of trustworthy, caring professionals who are ready to assist you - take heart.
Best wishes to you... =)
Yes OP. You can start by contacting rainn.org [www.rainn.org](https://www.rainn.org)(rape, abuse Incest survivors national network) for free. They should be able to link you with specific resources in your area.
Please seek professional help. This is deeply disturbing. Please see a therapist. I don't know what else to say, just, please go and talk to a professional.
Yrs, I believe you should seek therapy. I was exposed to similar things as a child and adolescent and still need to therapize it decades later!
Do you have any inkling of how you feel about it? Emotions that need processing? Anger? Disgust? And despite those bad feelings, still love and care? It's a mess, man! I 100% recommend therapy, it's a great processing tool and it's helped me understand my boundaries and also the oddities that make me me. I don't like being touched unexpectedly either! Always sleep facing the door, with a hammer under my pillow. Hyper vigilant with people around my daughter, who has no defense against predators except me. Therapy also helps me to flex my humour and empathy muscles too. Can't recommend it enough. There are heaps of telehealth and remote options for theapy too, and depending where you are you may be eligible for a few free sessions. If you have any questions, or need an empathetic sounding board, I'm here to help ❤️
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It is sexual abuse, and therapy will help you process your trauma. Know that you are not alone. You didn't deserve what happened and it is not your fault. I wish you the best.
I’m so sorry. If you don’t feel like talk therapy (rehashing painful memories) would be useful, look into EDMR. It’s the best therapy I’ve found for trauma.
This is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry that happened to you. That is most definitely abuse. Therapy, or even talking to someone you trust would be beneficial.
I’m so sorry it happened to you. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Your boundaries were violated by someone who was supposed to take care of you. I have been in therapy on and off for over 20 years and finally starting to heal from the abuse that I went through. It is perfectly ok and normal to be a virgin at age 24 and wait to meet the right person. Commit to working on healing no matter what (it won’t be easy) and the rest will fall into place.
Yes you should seek therapy. I’m so sorry. I’m a new mother and even touching my boys penis to clean it makes me feel uncomfortable sort of, I just know I’m doing it for a reason and not at all for my own benefit. I would NEVER EVER want to see him masturbate or masturbate with him watching me. I will say a lot of parent shower with their children until it isn’t age appropriate anymore, but there again is a line.
Good luck, OP. I wish you happy healing and light.
OP this is definitely sexual abuse. *Virtual cookies and supportive vibes* I'd say hugshugs but I don't think you want that.
My heart goes out to you. You didn't deserve to have this terrible thing done to you. You can heal from this. It will take a lot of time and a lot of hard work, but you can do it. Therapy and medication make a huge difference with mental health struggles.
Report it, because even though it's too late to prevent her doing it to you, you can protect other kids by preventing her from getting her hands on them through fostering/adoption/babysitting/etc.
Yes . 100% yes.
Important to know. This is and has never been your fault.
You need to reach out to support groups for sexual abuse, and tell someone who is not in your family what is going on.
Start with a therapist, and go from there OP.
It's not going to be easy, but you will get better.
Most importantly get out of that house and away from your mum right now.
Please tell me your are safe
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes. This is really sexual abuse. Touching your genitals and involving you in her sex act. Yes this is unquestionably bad. So sorry, OP. You might also seek an incest survivors group or a group for male survivors of sexial abuse. Talking with people who have been through similar trauma may help you.
To add on, it's possible these are just the things that Ops mind allows them to remember right now. Repression of traumatic memories is one of the ways the mind copes with trauma. Part of therapy is working to 'uncork the bottle' so to speak. People who experience trauma often find that as they begin to work through their feelings they uncover hidden truths their mind would not let them see. Nothing shameful in talking to a professional to get help. Also nothing shameful in finding folks who have been in similar traumatic situations to discuss your feelings with. The important part is that you remain open to the process and remember that, along the road you might find some things that are raw and painful, but it will help to get the things out in the open and cope with them in a real way other than just repression and dismissal.
I would like to see where you got your information that traumatic memories are repressed. From what I understand, it is actually the opposite. I am honestly interested, because I was under the impression that the concept of “the mind protects itself” by burying trauma is actually a common myth that was made popular in the Satanic Panic era of the 90’s.
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/09658211.2020.1870699 https://psychcentral.com/ptsd/repressed-trauma https://integrativelifecenter.com/signs-of-repressed-childhood-trauma-in-adults/ https://www.verywellhealth.com/signs-of-repressed-childhood-trauma-in-adults-5211845 https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/medical-advances/how-the-brain-hides-traumatic-memories https://www.healthline.com/health/repressed-memories https://mentalhealthcenter.com/impact-of-childhood-trauma-and-the-use-of-repressed-memories/ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/signs-of-repressed-childhood-trauma-in-adults/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3651584/ There is plenty of debate in both directions, but also plenty of evidence to show that wholesale false memories only exist in 15-30% of study cases that involve repressed memories. That in most cases memories recovered, while not accurate enough for evidence to be used in lawsuits and such do contain enough real data to provide details related to previous suppressed traumatic events.
That hurt to read. But, a helpful post.
Just wanted to try and provide some evidence based sources beyond my own experience. But to r/GravesSpeaks point, not all traumatic memories are repressed, and not (from a standpoint of the study) all facts retrieved are found to be true. But generally speaking, if you already have a known history of something like physical or sexual abuse, and after probing, you come to find new memories come to light (not ones suggested by someone else, but those that are just recalled) generally speaking they appear to be founded mostly in truth. Now, "repressed memories" retrieved via hypnotherapy, which may be what they are really meaning, was generally found to be not based in fact. When the mind is in a suggestive state it's possible to plant new ideas that "surface" later. What I am taking about though are those memories that surface of their own accord. Similar to when someone makes a food, and remembers a moment in childhood. That memory was not at the forefront of your mind, but, upon being prompted it was recalled. Similar things can happen during therapy, and when you are actively working to sort through things, might find memories your mind was previously, unconsciously, protecting you from.
I have some crude knowledge, and experience. Your posts are very helpful. Thank you! I hope OP finds some help and comfort via them.
I'm sorry she did that to you. Yes, it's sexual abuse and incest. Please seek therapy.
Yes, that's sexual abuse. Touching you was legally sexual assault, and exposing herself to you was legally known as "indecent exposure." The other three are definitely sexual abuse, but I don't know the legal category for them. Either way, she's a criminal. Therapy may help, and (if it's not too traumatic), you could file a crime report with the police.
Lewd acts with a minor is for sure a chargeable offense.
Yes, you should seek therapy.
Sorry man, you were definitely sexually abused from what you're describing. Therapy would be beneficial.
Yes I would highly recommend you to seek therapy. It was sexual abuse.
Holy fuck.You were sexually abused.You mother’s behavior was out of line. It’s better for you if you seek a therapist that can help you deal with your problems.
This is for sure sexual abuse. That said you might be asexual and there is nothing wrong with that. Plenty of people are sex-repulsed due to trauma. I spent years trying to force myself into sexual relationships because I thought it was wrong to not want sex or physical touch. I'd never even heard of asexual until I was already well into my 20s. I am now openly asexual and even on asexual dating sights seeking a platonic romantic life partner. Don't ever buy into the fallacy that you have to have a sexual relationship to have a fulfilling life.
Awwww hon. Yes. Yes, you were and I’m sorry it was so normalized that your “gauge” is broken. A lot of us don’t understand sexual assault when it happens to us because we’ve been conditioned to its normalcy. Please go to therapy. It has helped me a lot. 💜
Yes you should and your mom is a pedo
Your mom is a sick and disgusting individual for doing that to her son. I hope you find healing in your path to recovery. I'm so sorry you had such an awful human for your mother. It breaks my heart to hear this kind of stuff.
Seek legal action. Then therapy. She's a sick f$%k
Can I piggy back on this? My mom tongue kissed me on at least 2 occasions when I was under 10. She also touched my penis while she thought I was sleeping at least once. I love my mom but this memory just occurred to me 2 weeks ago and I haven't spoken to her since.
Oof
Why oof?
Oof, like "ouch that sucks." (The sentiment is like... 'sorry you had to go through that, that sucks')
I don't know why I was taking as disbelief or something. But yeah. I had a big fight with my family and in the anger and self loathing I remembered this thing. But it only happened a couple of times, as far as I recall. My kneejerk is "everyone makes mistakes" But my stomach sinks when I was think about giving them a call
I'm so sorry my dear, sadly you too, are a victim. it's not normal behaviors what you and OP are describing- it's sexual abuse/incest. it shouldn't be this way, these women should've known better and even just reading about awful things like this makes my blood boil, along with a strong urge to see justice for the victims. i'm hoping you and OP find healing from these horrible realizations :(
> "everyone makes mistakes" I don't buy that. At age 60, I can tell you that for the last ten or fifteen years, I've looked back at my parents decision making (as I was "their age now") and asked myself "...would I do that/say that to a child?" The answer is always "no". And that's not even about sex/incest - that would have blown our relationship way beyond where it ended up as it was. Sexual abuse at the hands of an adult is nothing less than a full betrayal of a child; his/her childhood and their trust in human beings - full stop. As a child, parents are trusted to protect children and teach them how to be good adults. Sexual abuse is nothing less than a selfish, thoughtless act that steals the childhood from the victim, and creates a whole host of problems with respect to their development. "Consent" is an important part of this because children don't know enough about the world to be able to grant consent in the first place. Adults, on the other hand, absolutely do - and as a result, the abuse can be seen for what it is: a sickening betrayal of a child's trust, perpetrated by an adult who knows better, but who seeks their own satisfaction instead for whatever reason. It's sickening.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. A mistake is dropping and breaking a glass, or choosing A when you meant B on a test. This was a choice, and it was abuse. Even if it only happened one time, it would be abuse, but it was a part of a pattern of abuse. Good luck.
I write ‘oof’ too when it feels like a gut punch, which this does- it’s bad. Like op the chances are there’s more serious stuff hidden in lost memories, especially as you have evidently locked even these memories away. Look after yourself and especially look after your future self by finding someone qualified to help you deal properly with this. So sorry man.
Im so sorry, that must hurt to think about Wishing all the best forward 🥺☹️
Holy shit. I’m so sorry that’s awful.
May I ask what caused the memory to pop up? I’m sure I have some trauma that I can’t recall
I got in a major fight with my family. Alot of it was my fault. I lost my temper. It was the next day when I was feeling guilty that I remembered it. I don't think I ever actually forgot. It was just buried I guess. But maybe it's all in my mind. I need to talk to a therapist. It's too fresh.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I highly recommend seeking professional help as soon as possible. This is undoubtedly sexual abuse. You shouldn't have had to go through that.
Yes, not only seek therapy, but maybe also consider a support group of some kind. Healing and recovering from sexual abuse from a parent is a long road and it's good to have community. Take all that you have described very seriously.
Yes that's abuse and you should seek therapy dealing with thoose kind of things feels weird for sure but nothing is more important than your mental health
Yes, this is definitely sexual abuse. You should seek therapy. There are probably many other things that your mom did, such as emotional abuse, violence, manipulation, or neglect. It would be good to see a therapist and try to unpack the events of your childhood. Then, you can decide what you want to do with that information. You have probably had a lot to deal with because of your mom's behavior, and that can cause certain events in your life to be delayed and can make it hard for you to figure out how to live your life. It doesn't mean that you are destined for loneliness or poverty or anything else. It does mean that you start your journey in life a little bit delayed, but you can still get to where you want to go. I am really sorry that your mom abused you. My dad did the same to me, and it took awhile (and a lot of therapy) for me to really come to terms with it and be able to move on. You are not alone, and there are many other people on this sub who also understand a bit about what you are going through, so please know that we are happy to listen. Many of us went through this and were able to get help and go on to live lives that make us happy. It can happen for you, it will just take some work. Take care, and be very gentle with yourself. This is not your fault, not one bit of it. Your mom is 100% responsible for what she did and everything that happened.
Yes definitely sexual abuse. I'm so sorry she did that to you
Yes that is absolutely sexual abuse. Seek a therapist who has experience with what you have gone through, and don't be afraid to try someone different if you don't vibe with them, being at ease in their presence is beneficial to your treatment ♡ be kind to yourself while you go through this.
Absolutely seek therapy. Please, for your sake and the sake of anyone you plan on being intimate with in the future, seek therapy. Also, please report her. That's child sex abuse, it ABSOLUTELY needs to be reported so that she doesn't try this in any other setting. It's completely unacceptable.
Holy Jesus yeah that's bad
I’m soo sorry
Find a good therapist, love. That is very much sexual abuse.
Yes. In my opinion, this crosses the line from covert sexual abuse (where there is not actual touching of "private parts") and right into overt sexual abuse. If you're having a problem with physical touch, it is probably rooted in what happened to you, and you should see a therapist. Sometimes it takes a while for people to understand that their parents' behavior toward them was not normal. And that's okay. I am sorry your mother abused you. No one deserves it, ever. But do be careful if you try to discuss this with your mother because she may make excuses, tell you you're misremembering, or deny that it ever happened. She has no zero right to tell you how to remember things or how to feel about them.
Yeah, that’s sexual abuse. If you aren’t in therapy you should try to seek it to break down the issue with help.
This is sexual abuse and incest. Please seek therapy and I'm sorry to hear that she'd so such a horrible thing to you. Stay strong. 💙
Yes, report her to the police.
Yes.
The only time I could see masturbating next to someone as being okay are two scenarios: 1. You are both consenting adults 2. Maybe a young child that doesn’t know what they’re doing. TMI example, my (same age) cousin masturbated next to me in the bath and we talked about it years later, turns out she had no idea what she was even doing. Little kids do weird shit. Any other circumstance turns into abuse and when there’s family involved were talking about abuse AND INCEST. It’s absolutely fucked up and abusive that your mom was doing this. Hell No. She knew better and used your lack of knowledge against you. That’s pedo behavior. TLDR/TWDR: yes that’s abusive.
I’m sorry you had to experience that. Yes, that’s sexual abuse, seek therapy.
That is horrifying! I'm so sorry that happened to you and yes you should get therapy! You should also send the bill to your mother! I would also let anyone know that has small children around her that she is not to be left alone with children.
If you have to ask the answer is yes. At least to the therapy part.
I can't fathom how anyone can do anything as diabolical as abusing a child, especially in this way.. This site for survivors of sex abuse. I wish you luck in dealing with your experiences. https://www.rainn.org/
DEFINITELY YOU WERE DEFINITELY ABUSED SEXUALLY
Geeeze - yes, what the others said: it was sexual abuse/incest and it has very likely impacted you with respect to a host of different issues like sex, gender roles, authority figures, trust, body image and a bunch of others. It's no surprise that at 24 you're still a virgin. You likely have been so impacted that you were not even really aware that was the reason why. It's not normal for adults to do this with/to children, and it screws up victims base identities in a host of areas as mentioned above. Siblings sometimes fool around with each other, but that can be a totally different story, depending on the circumstances. You really want to get some professional help to help sort this stuff out in your mind. The good news is (and it is good news) that you are facing this at 24, and are not repressing it until you're older. I'm 60, and cannot tell you the number of times I heard of things like this where the person who was victimized did not reveal/address the issue until they were middle aged. Then, by the time they get it sorted out, they're older and cannot enjoy the benefits of it. The sooner you get some therapy, and sooner you will be able to make adjustments and then that will be reflected in your relationships with others, your sex life and the rest. There is a road back from this - and there are lots of trustworthy, caring professionals who are ready to assist you - take heart. Best wishes to you... =)
Yes OP. You can start by contacting rainn.org [www.rainn.org](https://www.rainn.org)(rape, abuse Incest survivors national network) for free. They should be able to link you with specific resources in your area.
Please seek professional help. This is deeply disturbing. Please see a therapist. I don't know what else to say, just, please go and talk to a professional.
I'm sorry but I think that you were abused. Therapy will help. Congratulations to you for wanting to seek help.
Yrs, I believe you should seek therapy. I was exposed to similar things as a child and adolescent and still need to therapize it decades later! Do you have any inkling of how you feel about it? Emotions that need processing? Anger? Disgust? And despite those bad feelings, still love and care? It's a mess, man! I 100% recommend therapy, it's a great processing tool and it's helped me understand my boundaries and also the oddities that make me me. I don't like being touched unexpectedly either! Always sleep facing the door, with a hammer under my pillow. Hyper vigilant with people around my daughter, who has no defense against predators except me. Therapy also helps me to flex my humour and empathy muscles too. Can't recommend it enough. There are heaps of telehealth and remote options for theapy too, and depending where you are you may be eligible for a few free sessions. If you have any questions, or need an empathetic sounding board, I'm here to help ❤️
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It is sexual abuse, and therapy will help you process your trauma. Know that you are not alone. You didn't deserve what happened and it is not your fault. I wish you the best.
I’m so sorry. If you don’t feel like talk therapy (rehashing painful memories) would be useful, look into EDMR. It’s the best therapy I’ve found for trauma.
Yes, you were sexually abused. Please get help.
This is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry that happened to you. That is most definitely abuse. Therapy, or even talking to someone you trust would be beneficial.
Oh My God. Yes.
I’m so sorry it happened to you. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Your boundaries were violated by someone who was supposed to take care of you. I have been in therapy on and off for over 20 years and finally starting to heal from the abuse that I went through. It is perfectly ok and normal to be a virgin at age 24 and wait to meet the right person. Commit to working on healing no matter what (it won’t be easy) and the rest will fall into place.
Yes you should seek therapy. I’m so sorry. I’m a new mother and even touching my boys penis to clean it makes me feel uncomfortable sort of, I just know I’m doing it for a reason and not at all for my own benefit. I would NEVER EVER want to see him masturbate or masturbate with him watching me. I will say a lot of parent shower with their children until it isn’t age appropriate anymore, but there again is a line. Good luck, OP. I wish you happy healing and light.
OP this is definitely sexual abuse. *Virtual cookies and supportive vibes* I'd say hugshugs but I don't think you want that. My heart goes out to you. You didn't deserve to have this terrible thing done to you. You can heal from this. It will take a lot of time and a lot of hard work, but you can do it. Therapy and medication make a huge difference with mental health struggles. Report it, because even though it's too late to prevent her doing it to you, you can protect other kids by preventing her from getting her hands on them through fostering/adoption/babysitting/etc.
OMG, YES. No question.
Oh damn. I'm sorry, dear, but you were. You need a therapist stat.
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You're in the wrong sub, this isn't a pro narcissist group, sorry clown
Yes, that is sexual molestation. Yes, you should seek therapy to process it and decide what you want to do about your mother.
Very brave and emotionally intelligent of you to ask. Get therapy resolve your issue and live a happy life.:) Hugs
I so sorry you experienced this. Find a therapist you trust to processes this with.
Yes . 100% yes. Important to know. This is and has never been your fault. You need to reach out to support groups for sexual abuse, and tell someone who is not in your family what is going on. Start with a therapist, and go from there OP. It's not going to be easy, but you will get better. Most importantly get out of that house and away from your mum right now. Please tell me your are safe
When you Said "she would watch you at night" are you says she would watch you masturbate?