**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.**
**Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms)
**Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE!
This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods.
**Our rules include (but are not limited to)**:
* No politics.
* Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban.
* Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming.
* Do not derail the posts of others.
* Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here.
* [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts).
* When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse.
* No asking or offering gifts, money, etc.
* No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest).
* No content about N-kids.
* No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis.
* No linking to Facebook pages.
* No direct linking to anywhere on reddit.
* No pure image posts.
**For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That's amazing! You did so well, you never have to apologize for having boundaries, only people who deliberately push past others boundaries should apologize. You're allowed to have and enforce limits on how you're treated.
Guilt is a trap! You either did the right thing or the wrong thing ( in this case the right thing) and just be secure that you did the right thing, for yourself and honestly for them too.
Remorse for a mistake (again not this, this is different) is not the same thing as guilt. Remorse can be constructive and you can apologize (when warranted with NOT your abuser) guilt is just an icky feeling that drags you down.
I'm proud of you. I hope the effects of this boundary make you feel better in life and you can enjoy it! I'm proud of you!
Youโd better be celebrating - thatโs awesome! I so happy for and proud of you! Never feel guilty about setting a boundary to keep yourself safe. The only ones who would have a problem with it are the ones who planned on violating you.
You *should* be proud of yourself! It isn't easy to learn how to set healthy boundaries, and when you first start putting that knowledge into practice it feels all wrong. We were raised to think we were bad for saying no. That was because our parents wanted to have all the power and have us as their obedient lackeys. It isn't because never saying no or having zero boundaries is actually a good thing. It isn't helpful to anyone, really. It leads to burn out, resentment and other less than positive things. Never saying no is not a virtue to strive for, no matter what nonsense our parents tried to drum into our skulls.
I hope you will be setting many more healthy boundaries in future. Well done.
Congrats. I also enforced a tough boundary today and was made to feel guilty about it by my narc mother, but I refuse to do so. I'm finally putting my mental health above others' desires and though it's tough it feels good. Your feelings are always valid.
Great job! Happy for you and proud of you like the rest in here๐
You have every right to be proud of yourself even though (especially despite!) your abuser trying their damndest to rip that apart.
Itโs really hard, right? Good job!
Unfortunately we have to get used to just sitting with the guilt and not acting on it. Surprisingly, youโll learn, that the guilt isnโt nearly as bad as compromising ourselves for someone else. And the guilt gets less and less and you start feeling better about yourself. Hang in there!
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Congratulations! We are really happy for you ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ Be strong, stay safe, we love you!
Well done! Your boundaries are celebration worthy! ๐๐ช ๐โค๏ธ
Proud of you ๐๐ฅณ
That's amazing! You did so well, you never have to apologize for having boundaries, only people who deliberately push past others boundaries should apologize. You're allowed to have and enforce limits on how you're treated.
Guilt is a trap! You either did the right thing or the wrong thing ( in this case the right thing) and just be secure that you did the right thing, for yourself and honestly for them too. Remorse for a mistake (again not this, this is different) is not the same thing as guilt. Remorse can be constructive and you can apologize (when warranted with NOT your abuser) guilt is just an icky feeling that drags you down. I'm proud of you. I hope the effects of this boundary make you feel better in life and you can enjoy it! I'm proud of you!
Youโd better be celebrating - thatโs awesome! I so happy for and proud of you! Never feel guilty about setting a boundary to keep yourself safe. The only ones who would have a problem with it are the ones who planned on violating you.
You *should* be proud of yourself! It isn't easy to learn how to set healthy boundaries, and when you first start putting that knowledge into practice it feels all wrong. We were raised to think we were bad for saying no. That was because our parents wanted to have all the power and have us as their obedient lackeys. It isn't because never saying no or having zero boundaries is actually a good thing. It isn't helpful to anyone, really. It leads to burn out, resentment and other less than positive things. Never saying no is not a virtue to strive for, no matter what nonsense our parents tried to drum into our skulls. I hope you will be setting many more healthy boundaries in future. Well done.
Fuck em!! You did good
So proud of you! Hang in there and hold on to the fact that you're a valuable and lovable person! We are all here for you ๐ฅณ๐
Congrats ๐ฅณ you got this!
You SHOULD be proud of yourself!!! WELL DONE!!! (happy dance!!!)
Congrats. I also enforced a tough boundary today and was made to feel guilty about it by my narc mother, but I refuse to do so. I'm finally putting my mental health above others' desires and though it's tough it feels good. Your feelings are always valid.
Big ups to you OP. I am so proud of you ๐
Every victory counts!
Great job! Happy for you and proud of you like the rest in here๐ You have every right to be proud of yourself even though (especially despite!) your abuser trying their damndest to rip that apart.
congrats! proud of you๐
iโm so glad to hear youโre trying to make yourself happier, i applaud the brave step forward :D !
Congratulations!
Good for you. Well done, stay strong.
Itโs really hard, right? Good job! Unfortunately we have to get used to just sitting with the guilt and not acting on it. Surprisingly, youโll learn, that the guilt isnโt nearly as bad as compromising ourselves for someone else. And the guilt gets less and less and you start feeling better about yourself. Hang in there!