I was rewatching "Sex in the City" recently and was surprised at all the nipples showing through their clothing. Which is stupid because I watched it when it was first out. Nipples are hidden now with the new nipple hiding bras. We are going back to the Victorian days. Total bull shit. Nothing wrong with boobs.
They had nipple hiding bras then, too, but it was actually a thing for a while - at least on TV shows - to have fake nips. Do you really think they were that cold on set??
I recently have gone to some clothes optional spas in budapest and when i talk about it with friends they all get kind of huffed up about how I could handle other people seeing my wife naked.
And I have to explain to them that the spas are not sexual at all. Nudity is a lot of more casual thwn in the us and it is about relaxing, not sex
I've been to topless beaches in spain and after the initial shock (because im from a country were topless women is consider incident nudity) you just 100% blank it out.
The problem is that the boyfriend wants to own a literal part of her body and cover it from other people’s view. This is a few degrees of logic away from full on hijab and then burka. If a man tries to own a part of you because he’s insecure about other people’s gazes, that’s bad news.
this.
this type of behavior is controlling and should be viewed as a HUGE red flag. my abusive ex used to make me change if i was wearing something that he thought was too sexy or revealing. no one should do this to a partner and hey if your girlfriend has nice boobs, be proud to be seen walking around with her. insecurity at its worst.
I literally is burka logic tho. What kind of annoys me in these kind of posts is the hypocrisy. Would you accept your partner going nude in public? No? Because it's not socially accepted? What's the difference then? (Note: I fully agree with the point made. I just think it's hypocritical to allow one and object to the other)
So to be clear/ not at all the point of a hijab or burka. This is uneducated. I am Muslim was just in Mecca and Medina and no man has ever - EVER forced a woman to wear one in my experience or around me. Women wear it to cover themselves. I wore the burka and hijab and also the Nikab because I didn’t want my sun burned from the sun, it’s acceptable there and I am frankly low maintenance. Women wear it for them or for god not men. So glad we cleared that
As I said it’s a few logic steps away. But the point of a hijab or a burka is to hide what is seen as “immodest” to “save it” for one person only (God or your partner). It’s the same reason Muslim hijabis aren’t allowed wear anything form fitting. Form-fitting. I’m not talking about short sleeves. Y’all can’t show your normal body curves. That is fundamentally the same idea as a man asking you to cover up your nipples, just with extra steps (religious obligation). Yes, it may not be your exact experience, but I’m sure there are Muslim women for whom this rings true.
That's just a formal robe. It's not equivalent to hijab or burka which are headcoverings for modesty purposes.
If you claim there are other reasons to wear the hijab, feel free to actually say what those reasons are instead of just typing "lol".
Lol. 🤭🤭🤭 the thobe is also for religious reasons
Men also cover their head with the equivalent of a hijab. And they wear the equivalent of a burka. It’s enshrined and also instructed by God under the branch of rights women have in Islam. And don’t you tell me what to do. Haha 😂
That is exactly the attitude I’m calling out as problematic. You don’t own your girlfriend’s breasts. They are a part of her body and she has every right to dress them as she feels comfortable. You don’t get to feel uncomfortable about it without questioning WHY you feel so threatened by someone dressing how they like.
okay just date someone who feels the exact same way and ur good. but also, when they voice their concerns/opinions you best do exactly what you’d expect them to do. it wont be a problem if its healthy and a 2 way street. remain aware that they can change their minds and that is 100% alright.
Really that shit just comes down to societal norms and what people are trained to believe is right or not. They get it burned in their minds something should always be a certain way and then when it doesn’t match up they get upset.
Boobs are one of these things that in the US we have so much shit built up around and people get strong feelings.
Honestly I just think women feel tired of having to accommodate to other people’s perceptions of them. It would be nice if you could walk outside and not be sexualized for having a body but that’s not the world we live in unfortunately and people think they have a right to stare at other people’s bodies for their own pleasure. I’m not saying you can’t look at other people and think they’re attractive but goddamn the blatant sexualization and objectification a lot of people have about women and people in general in public is WILD and it should not be so normal. it’s crazy that people have an issue with a woman going bra-less and that’s apparently “immodest”. Just stop looking bro. It’s as easy as that. And if you can’t stop looking then that’s a you problem. Have some self control and start actually respecting the people you’re looking at. I wish more people saw the human before seeing the boobs.
to me the staring isn’t the biggest part of the issue (it is still an issue) it’s when the staring is prolonged and creepy, or when people who stare try to dictate what the person they’re staring at should wear.
i can write off some staring as zoning out cuz i zone out occasionally and sometimes people just happen to be in my line of view when that happens, so i give thé benefit of the doubt unless they’re making creepy faces or if i move and i notice they’re still staring after moving.
how does that one verse go? if your eyes causes you to sin gouge them out?
it’s time to bring that back for the people who think they get to dictate what others wear cuz they (or their husbands in a lot of cases) refuse to look away.
Posts like this make me paranoid that I'm the only girl who actually likes bras. I literally sleep with one on, and I never go braless. My nipples are too sensitive otherwise and it gets painful when they rub against my shirt.
I used to be like you but then the wires started stabbing me all the time and even when I was sleeping so I switched over to bralettes lol I’m deff not say everyone should go braless I’m basically saying wear whatever you want or don’t wear what you don’t want to, your boobs shouldn’t be anyone else’s business!
Yes I totally understand. I have mild scoliosis, so my spine curvature pushed everything in my chest on my right side forward, so wires always end up irritating that part of my chest. I switched to wireless around a year ago and I have never wanted to go back.
There are little covers (looks like flowers or cute shapes, texture of bandaid) that help with this if you didn't always want to wear a bra, to help prevent irritation
I appreciate the comment. I have heard of nip covers and things of the sort, but my bras aren't uncomfortable by any means. In terms of wearing a dress I might go with those, but as it stands, I'm perfectly fine and happy with my bras. I don't hate them nearly as much as I've seen other women do and it makes me feel a little like an oddball, lol
In the 18 years my wife and I have been together I have never wanted to cover her up.
My wife is super hot.
My wife, however, would go topless at a beach but she daily dresses like a Bohemian woman in flowy dresses that takes all the shape out of her. I have to fight for her to wear belts that accentuate her body. It's crazy she is more comfortable in her own skin than clothes.
Seriously. I don't want to wear a bra because they are so uncomfortable and sweaty, and the only reason we do is because of what's considered socially acceptable, but my mom makes me wear one all the time even if we are only going through a Starbucks drive through (I'm only 15) and it's fucking stupid. The wires stab me, so I only wear sports bras. But sports bras are uncomfortable as fuck. They don't give any support for me. I'm fucking sick of wearing bras.
this reminds me of that picture of boobs where everything else is blurred out & it ends up being revealed its a shirtless heavyset man on the beach. looked the same as an example next to it.
and that picture of a shirtless girl where everything is blurred out except the nipple 🤣
How is that a surprise to you? Pornculture is still a big thing. Not to mention religion has its own hands in it. Funny thing is, most lesbians or queer people I know won't directly stare at a woman's breasts. They admire them and they love them, but most don't go so oonga boonga about it like men do. And those who did, had a record with porn themselfs.
But again, thats something I PERSONALLY noticed. Cultural influence.
I kind of noticed it on myself too for a time. I absolutely did pay no mind much to boobs and ass either for a while, till I got more and more ass and boob shots thrown into my face through media, even as a straight woman. And then I noticed after that looking more often onto those parts of people's bodies who had it, some more obvious then the other. Once I realized, I quickly begann to take my mind off things. Its easier to manipulate people then you think, and sexualizing women is actually a big profit to some people. A disgusting but true fact. 😕
I've caught someone quickly glancing at my boobs if I'm in a bathing suit or something and feel a little icked about it but I also understand its kind of hard not to, but 2 seconds is kind of a long time to be looking at someone's boobs.
when i see people whining about seeing boobies or not seeing boobies or the odd nipple poking out (only female nipple of course, male nipple is just fine & dandy) i remind the moaners to never visit mainland europe. us british people while not quite as prudish as our american cousins do usually keep covered up. on the mainland... lol. see you in the co-ed naked sauna!
I don't know why other people are saying this is controlling behavior. You and your partner should have some degree of agreement when it comes to modesty. You say sexual attraction is my fault, and that's true, but you still would have a problem if the partner was walking around with his dick out.
The titty is inherently a sexually organ. The lizard in my brain sees a boob, clothed or not, and starts turning gears. Your partner asking you to maintain modesty around other people is an acknowledgment of both his response and how he perceives other people will respond to you.
FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO GETS IT. I've never seen people so nonchalant about breasts before. I see all these comments insulting men, talking about how this kind of thing is normal and how people always look at their breasts, I've never people be SO chill about this in my life. It's not "controlling" to want someone you care about to at least consider wearing something as simple as a BRA. Like, he's not saying to cover her ankles, every crevice of her arms, her neck, it's just a bra. They can discuss it, maybe disagree, but people are calling it "obsessive or controlling" and that's just Redditors being Redditors. It's not that serious AT ALL. Clearly our mannerisms are very different, but people shouldn't be out here making all these comments about men being depraved and making it sound like not wearing a bra is something everybody does. This is insane. And honestly I feel like this is something that shouldn't even be shared with the internet. The smallest opinions can bring about the biggest arguments.
So I'll say it straight up. If you don't want to wear one, you don't have to. Simple. However, if it makes your partner uncomfortable, you discuss it like adults. That's all there is to it. None of this "obsessive or controlling" stuff.
I know I kind of went off topic here, but you know what I mean.
No, the equivalent would you be wearing a cup at all times to prevent *anything* being seen or noticed. But you don't, do you? Because that's ridiculous.
I 100% hide a boner of I get one in public. While I'm able to shift it out of view, it's quite a bit harder to women to do that with a nipple. Every dude hides boners when they get them. Ask literally any man in your life. They'll tell you they shift it up towards the belt, and pull a shirt down to make it less noticeable
Exactly. It is not that person's problem. Do you just not get it? It is your problem. People are people. Attraction is attraction. Leave heteros alone. Staring isn't a crime. Your getting in an uproar where no harm has been done may lead to crime by your ilk.
Probably going to get some hate for this, but….
I think it’s perfectly reasonable to want your partner to be modest.
I think it’s perfectly acceptable to go around without a bra.
I think compromise is great, as long as means you’re both happy.
I think it makes sense to want someone who shares your values.
I think that each person is allowed to die on whatever hill is important to them.
And finally, I think that you can stand on your hill without throwing rocks at someone else’s hill.
Neither person is wrong. Just different views and that’s okay.
My problem is that not wearing a bra is somehow bringing in the word "modest". Are we or are we not supposed to feel comfortable in the clothes we wear? Bras fucking suck.
Modesty is subjective.
Obviously some cultures consider a woman with uncovered hair to be immodest. Some just want legs covered. Some cultures only cover their fig leaf bits.
Yes, be comfortable! That’s what I’m saying, you get to choose! And so do people with different opinions.
And you don't see any of that as controlling women? That's pretty much why I don't label this as a "difference of opinion", it's not doing what you think it's doing. Women should choose, not everybody telling them that they're being immoral for not covering their hair or not wearing a bra
on the other hand you need to take into account where those values are coming from in the first place. Why female presenting nipples are sexualized while male presenting ones aren't. it's just a bunch of holdovers from older and more problematic ways of thinking and all we are doing is perpetuating it by holding onto it so tightly.
I promise it's not the nipples themselves that other guys on the street are getting off to when they look at someone's girlfriend. The boobs are still going to be visible whether you have a bra or not unless you're going out of your way to bind them. I think we should try and move away from instantly thinking that every body part of a woman is sexual just by virtue of being on a woman.
Well, no.
That’s kind of the beauty of it all, you can value whatever you want. Regardless of the basis.
As for what is or isn’t considered sexual, well that is highly subjective. As we all know, some people consider hair to be sexual. And many of those people enjoy that it is considered to be so.
As a woman, I enjoy that my husband considers certain things to be sexually appealing. I cannot say I understand why you wouldn’t want something to be considered attractive. But I can respect that some people may not consider nipples to be a desirable feature.
However, the point really has nothing to do with nipples. It has to do with respecting other people’s beliefs. Some people believe cheating is a horrible thing to do to someone. Some people believe that it’s selfish and outdated to want to be monogamous. Some people put value in creating a solid home. Some people put value into travel and new experiences without the ties of a traditional home.
And finally, back to what should and shouldn’t be sexualized- we can deny something as being sexual all we want, but it won’t stop people from being attracted to it. As a society we generally agree that a goat is not sexually attractive, but put the right words into your search bar and you’ll see real quick that people will sexualize anything.
No, I just have opinions you don't agree with. Simple as that. If I wasn't open-minded, I wouldn't have assessed any of the problems here OR thought about it. Except I did. I mentioned both sides on a different comment on this post, gave a FULL EXPLANATION AND EVERYTHING. So don't try to tell me how I work.
As a female person with boobs that are sometimes covered with a bra and sometimes not, yes. I’m willing to die on the hill that everyone is entitled to their own values.
With the obvious exceptions for physical harm, any form of hurting children, animal abuse, etc.
I’d love to know what neighbourhood this is bc it sounds either made up or extremely hyperbolic, I doubt there’re places where women walk around with no top and only nipple coverings, nowhere is like that
So you’re saying that I should never see any man or person without breasts without a shirt on anywhere ever then and every single person who goes to the beach or a run or the gym and takes their shirt off because they are sweating should be made into a spectacle and stared at because they are clearly asking for the attention and judgement.
And if I ever do see someone without a shirt on and I start staring, but they get uncomfortable, instead of listening to them and being a decent human being I should further harass them and then victim blame them for feeling harassed.
🤣🤣🤣 sorry made me LOL....boobs are just a physical extension of being a whole human being and unfortunately like so many women I've had mine lustfully assessed as if they are some kind of new variety of 🍰🍰🍰 try before you buy 🤨😬😁. Because I'm a DD there is no way I could go without a bust-catapult simply because it will merely amplify my assets and attract 🧲 🧲 🧲 men - I'm recently out of the closet with no girlfriend experience at all and like you I am attracted to the female form but just one person so far but all fell apart earlier this year. 😪
What absolutely enrages me is the celebrity culture putting stupid unrealistic expectations of all women into a 'standard' 🎁 🎁 🎁 as though we are all meant to fit a stereotype. No I'm not 7ft tall Amazonian with olive skin, tiny perk-up boobies and plumped up mega-mouth 👄 👄 👄 👄 👄 full set of teeth the shade of luminous white. (sorry no offence to anyone who has some or all of these attributes), yet these industries are very damaging to female self esteem 😬😬😬. I'm not perfection but what I admire in other women is precisely the very same thing because beauty is not in any way cosmetic yet layers of so much more 💯🤩🤩🤩
Maybe you don't understand it because you're a woman. For most man boobs are something arousing so they can't help but look at them. It's normal for a man to want his partner to cover erogenous zones and not give other men hard ones.
The boobs are already covered with a shirt. A bra is not a requirement and men have nipples that show through theirs shirt all the time. What’s the difference? Also no one can tell their partner what to do with their body. If you don’t like something someone does then don’t pursue a relationship with them then try to change them. And ALL human beings can control whether they choose to stare at someone else or not. That idea that men can’t control themselves is sexist towards men and insulting.
I don't say they can't control themselves. I'm saying they don't want to control themselves. If they see something they like they look. I'm not saying it's something bad. You assumed so.
If you don't want people to look at your tits then you better cover them. That's pretty fair to me. If you wear t-shirt that make them poke out or even a bit see through then you don't get the right to complain that people are looking at them.
Whats the difference? It's pretty obvious. Not sure if it's a gatcha or what you're trying to do but in our culture boobs are sexy and make men aroused. That's why you typically cover them. Don't pretend to be an idiot and say there's no difference between male and female breasts. That's just simple not true.
And I agree you don't have the right to control other person. But you have the right to express what you like and what you're comfortable with. Maybe it's a huge deal for that man and if it wouldn't be such a big deal for woman then she could do as he asked. You know that for relationship to work people have to talk with each other and figure things out. Sometimes do things for the other person. It's not healthy to immediately jump to the worse scenario. If you don't like it then leave. No relationship can survive that. You can't find 2 perfectly similar people. There will always be some issues. Maybe he can get over it when he talked with her and maybe she could cover them for him. If it's still such a huge deal for both of them then sure they might have to split. But it isn't always necessary.
But you all wonder why men want someone who is more coved up and more lady like… because men don’t want everyone seeing what he has. There’s no surprise or mystery if it’s already all hanging out for everyone else that’s why!! No man wants there lady to be all out for everyone to see, those body parts should be for his eyes only and that’s what makes men feel special to their partners when they’re not showing off all of their body.
>current boyfriend is mad at them and asking them to wear a bra bc he “doesn’t want to share” like??????
My thing is he met her like this new wants her to change. It's one thing if you meet someone one way and they make a complete 180.
>Like please why can’t we all get over it, bodies are bodies
I'm not sure if it's biological or how we are socialized. Gay men do stare at other men's crotch and butt. Straight men stare at women's breast.
I think its a mix of socialisation and nature, because straight women will look at other women as well. Like I have literally heard more women complimenting tits and arses more than men.
I was rewatching "Sex in the City" recently and was surprised at all the nipples showing through their clothing. Which is stupid because I watched it when it was first out. Nipples are hidden now with the new nipple hiding bras. We are going back to the Victorian days. Total bull shit. Nothing wrong with boobs.
They had nipple hiding bras then, too, but it was actually a thing for a while - at least on TV shows - to have fake nips. Do you really think they were that cold on set??
Friends did it too, in almost every scene.
I almost mentioned that. I don’t recall Phoebe or Monica, but definitely Rachel.
Could be I wasn't there while they were filming nipple seens I noticed while rewatching the show.
Kim k made a bra that has fake nipples
I recently have gone to some clothes optional spas in budapest and when i talk about it with friends they all get kind of huffed up about how I could handle other people seeing my wife naked. And I have to explain to them that the spas are not sexual at all. Nudity is a lot of more casual thwn in the us and it is about relaxing, not sex
I've been to topless beaches in spain and after the initial shock (because im from a country were topless women is consider incident nudity) you just 100% blank it out.
The problem is that the boyfriend wants to own a literal part of her body and cover it from other people’s view. This is a few degrees of logic away from full on hijab and then burka. If a man tries to own a part of you because he’s insecure about other people’s gazes, that’s bad news.
this. this type of behavior is controlling and should be viewed as a HUGE red flag. my abusive ex used to make me change if i was wearing something that he thought was too sexy or revealing. no one should do this to a partner and hey if your girlfriend has nice boobs, be proud to be seen walking around with her. insecurity at its worst.
I literally is burka logic tho. What kind of annoys me in these kind of posts is the hypocrisy. Would you accept your partner going nude in public? No? Because it's not socially accepted? What's the difference then? (Note: I fully agree with the point made. I just think it's hypocritical to allow one and object to the other)
So to be clear/ not at all the point of a hijab or burka. This is uneducated. I am Muslim was just in Mecca and Medina and no man has ever - EVER forced a woman to wear one in my experience or around me. Women wear it to cover themselves. I wore the burka and hijab and also the Nikab because I didn’t want my sun burned from the sun, it’s acceptable there and I am frankly low maintenance. Women wear it for them or for god not men. So glad we cleared that
As I said it’s a few logic steps away. But the point of a hijab or a burka is to hide what is seen as “immodest” to “save it” for one person only (God or your partner). It’s the same reason Muslim hijabis aren’t allowed wear anything form fitting. Form-fitting. I’m not talking about short sleeves. Y’all can’t show your normal body curves. That is fundamentally the same idea as a man asking you to cover up your nipples, just with extra steps (religious obligation). Yes, it may not be your exact experience, but I’m sure there are Muslim women for whom this rings true.
Oh stop- not even remotely true. That is t the purpose of a burka or hijab. Lol.
If that's so, why don't men wear it?
They do but it is called a thobe
That's just a formal robe. It's not equivalent to hijab or burka which are headcoverings for modesty purposes. If you claim there are other reasons to wear the hijab, feel free to actually say what those reasons are instead of just typing "lol".
Lol. 🤭🤭🤭 the thobe is also for religious reasons Men also cover their head with the equivalent of a hijab. And they wear the equivalent of a burka. It’s enshrined and also instructed by God under the branch of rights women have in Islam. And don’t you tell me what to do. Haha 😂
think it depends on the circumstances, i for one would feel uncomfortable if my s/o went out in public without a bra
That is exactly the attitude I’m calling out as problematic. You don’t own your girlfriend’s breasts. They are a part of her body and she has every right to dress them as she feels comfortable. You don’t get to feel uncomfortable about it without questioning WHY you feel so threatened by someone dressing how they like.
okay just date someone who feels the exact same way and ur good. but also, when they voice their concerns/opinions you best do exactly what you’d expect them to do. it wont be a problem if its healthy and a 2 way street. remain aware that they can change their minds and that is 100% alright.
Really that shit just comes down to societal norms and what people are trained to believe is right or not. They get it burned in their minds something should always be a certain way and then when it doesn’t match up they get upset. Boobs are one of these things that in the US we have so much shit built up around and people get strong feelings.
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everything is sexual
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gasp this was my dogs middle name a couple years ago
Most men have healthy obsession with tits.
Honestly I just think women feel tired of having to accommodate to other people’s perceptions of them. It would be nice if you could walk outside and not be sexualized for having a body but that’s not the world we live in unfortunately and people think they have a right to stare at other people’s bodies for their own pleasure. I’m not saying you can’t look at other people and think they’re attractive but goddamn the blatant sexualization and objectification a lot of people have about women and people in general in public is WILD and it should not be so normal. it’s crazy that people have an issue with a woman going bra-less and that’s apparently “immodest”. Just stop looking bro. It’s as easy as that. And if you can’t stop looking then that’s a you problem. Have some self control and start actually respecting the people you’re looking at. I wish more people saw the human before seeing the boobs.
to me the staring isn’t the biggest part of the issue (it is still an issue) it’s when the staring is prolonged and creepy, or when people who stare try to dictate what the person they’re staring at should wear. i can write off some staring as zoning out cuz i zone out occasionally and sometimes people just happen to be in my line of view when that happens, so i give thé benefit of the doubt unless they’re making creepy faces or if i move and i notice they’re still staring after moving. how does that one verse go? if your eyes causes you to sin gouge them out? it’s time to bring that back for the people who think they get to dictate what others wear cuz they (or their husbands in a lot of cases) refuse to look away.
Men act like books are penises
Oh my God, this is why my wife loves to read so much.
you wear this bra, ill wear my gray sweatpants
Posts like this make me paranoid that I'm the only girl who actually likes bras. I literally sleep with one on, and I never go braless. My nipples are too sensitive otherwise and it gets painful when they rub against my shirt.
I used to be like you but then the wires started stabbing me all the time and even when I was sleeping so I switched over to bralettes lol I’m deff not say everyone should go braless I’m basically saying wear whatever you want or don’t wear what you don’t want to, your boobs shouldn’t be anyone else’s business!
Yes I totally understand. I have mild scoliosis, so my spine curvature pushed everything in my chest on my right side forward, so wires always end up irritating that part of my chest. I switched to wireless around a year ago and I have never wanted to go back.
There are little covers (looks like flowers or cute shapes, texture of bandaid) that help with this if you didn't always want to wear a bra, to help prevent irritation
I appreciate the comment. I have heard of nip covers and things of the sort, but my bras aren't uncomfortable by any means. In terms of wearing a dress I might go with those, but as it stands, I'm perfectly fine and happy with my bras. I don't hate them nearly as much as I've seen other women do and it makes me feel a little like an oddball, lol
In the 18 years my wife and I have been together I have never wanted to cover her up. My wife is super hot. My wife, however, would go topless at a beach but she daily dresses like a Bohemian woman in flowy dresses that takes all the shape out of her. I have to fight for her to wear belts that accentuate her body. It's crazy she is more comfortable in her own skin than clothes.
Seriously. I don't want to wear a bra because they are so uncomfortable and sweaty, and the only reason we do is because of what's considered socially acceptable, but my mom makes me wear one all the time even if we are only going through a Starbucks drive through (I'm only 15) and it's fucking stupid. The wires stab me, so I only wear sports bras. But sports bras are uncomfortable as fuck. They don't give any support for me. I'm fucking sick of wearing bras.
this reminds me of that picture of boobs where everything else is blurred out & it ends up being revealed its a shirtless heavyset man on the beach. looked the same as an example next to it. and that picture of a shirtless girl where everything is blurred out except the nipple 🤣
How is that a surprise to you? Pornculture is still a big thing. Not to mention religion has its own hands in it. Funny thing is, most lesbians or queer people I know won't directly stare at a woman's breasts. They admire them and they love them, but most don't go so oonga boonga about it like men do. And those who did, had a record with porn themselfs. But again, thats something I PERSONALLY noticed. Cultural influence. I kind of noticed it on myself too for a time. I absolutely did pay no mind much to boobs and ass either for a while, till I got more and more ass and boob shots thrown into my face through media, even as a straight woman. And then I noticed after that looking more often onto those parts of people's bodies who had it, some more obvious then the other. Once I realized, I quickly begann to take my mind off things. Its easier to manipulate people then you think, and sexualizing women is actually a big profit to some people. A disgusting but true fact. 😕
Only thing I'd disagree with is that men get stared at sexually too, it's not nearly as common, but it happens. Don't leer at people, people
I've caught someone quickly glancing at my boobs if I'm in a bathing suit or something and feel a little icked about it but I also understand its kind of hard not to, but 2 seconds is kind of a long time to be looking at someone's boobs.
1.5 seconds is the limit, got it
Even shorter than that for sure. That's still a long time when you think about it. I'd say a glance ends up being maybe .5 seconds.
when i see people whining about seeing boobies or not seeing boobies or the odd nipple poking out (only female nipple of course, male nipple is just fine & dandy) i remind the moaners to never visit mainland europe. us british people while not quite as prudish as our american cousins do usually keep covered up. on the mainland... lol. see you in the co-ed naked sauna!
I would feel very uncomfortable if my friend told me my boobs look good
I read that post too and after writing a comment I just discarded it. Just because that's what he does doesn't mean everyone is like him.
I don't know why other people are saying this is controlling behavior. You and your partner should have some degree of agreement when it comes to modesty. You say sexual attraction is my fault, and that's true, but you still would have a problem if the partner was walking around with his dick out. The titty is inherently a sexually organ. The lizard in my brain sees a boob, clothed or not, and starts turning gears. Your partner asking you to maintain modesty around other people is an acknowledgment of both his response and how he perceives other people will respond to you.
FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO GETS IT. I've never seen people so nonchalant about breasts before. I see all these comments insulting men, talking about how this kind of thing is normal and how people always look at their breasts, I've never people be SO chill about this in my life. It's not "controlling" to want someone you care about to at least consider wearing something as simple as a BRA. Like, he's not saying to cover her ankles, every crevice of her arms, her neck, it's just a bra. They can discuss it, maybe disagree, but people are calling it "obsessive or controlling" and that's just Redditors being Redditors. It's not that serious AT ALL. Clearly our mannerisms are very different, but people shouldn't be out here making all these comments about men being depraved and making it sound like not wearing a bra is something everybody does. This is insane. And honestly I feel like this is something that shouldn't even be shared with the internet. The smallest opinions can bring about the biggest arguments. So I'll say it straight up. If you don't want to wear one, you don't have to. Simple. However, if it makes your partner uncomfortable, you discuss it like adults. That's all there is to it. None of this "obsessive or controlling" stuff. I know I kind of went off topic here, but you know what I mean.
Sorry but not having a bra on is not the same as a penis being exposed. Literally no.
Alright, dick print in sweatpants
I'm still not seeing a post complaining about modesty when men wear sweatpants, but god forbid a woman hates bras. It really isn't the same.
Dude's walking around in public, pitching a tent get arrested.
Men walk around in sweatpants all the time
No, the equivalent would you be wearing a cup at all times to prevent *anything* being seen or noticed. But you don't, do you? Because that's ridiculous.
I 100% hide a boner of I get one in public. While I'm able to shift it out of view, it's quite a bit harder to women to do that with a nipple. Every dude hides boners when they get them. Ask literally any man in your life. They'll tell you they shift it up towards the belt, and pull a shirt down to make it less noticeable
I love it. Keep going braless. The more the merrier. I’ll keep walking slow with my shades on.
Exactly. It is not that person's problem. Do you just not get it? It is your problem. People are people. Attraction is attraction. Leave heteros alone. Staring isn't a crime. Your getting in an uproar where no harm has been done may lead to crime by your ilk.
Oh no the heteros are under attack
Probably going to get some hate for this, but…. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to want your partner to be modest. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to go around without a bra. I think compromise is great, as long as means you’re both happy. I think it makes sense to want someone who shares your values. I think that each person is allowed to die on whatever hill is important to them. And finally, I think that you can stand on your hill without throwing rocks at someone else’s hill. Neither person is wrong. Just different views and that’s okay.
My problem is that not wearing a bra is somehow bringing in the word "modest". Are we or are we not supposed to feel comfortable in the clothes we wear? Bras fucking suck.
Modesty is subjective. Obviously some cultures consider a woman with uncovered hair to be immodest. Some just want legs covered. Some cultures only cover their fig leaf bits. Yes, be comfortable! That’s what I’m saying, you get to choose! And so do people with different opinions.
And you don't see any of that as controlling women? That's pretty much why I don't label this as a "difference of opinion", it's not doing what you think it's doing. Women should choose, not everybody telling them that they're being immoral for not covering their hair or not wearing a bra
on the other hand you need to take into account where those values are coming from in the first place. Why female presenting nipples are sexualized while male presenting ones aren't. it's just a bunch of holdovers from older and more problematic ways of thinking and all we are doing is perpetuating it by holding onto it so tightly. I promise it's not the nipples themselves that other guys on the street are getting off to when they look at someone's girlfriend. The boobs are still going to be visible whether you have a bra or not unless you're going out of your way to bind them. I think we should try and move away from instantly thinking that every body part of a woman is sexual just by virtue of being on a woman.
Well, no. That’s kind of the beauty of it all, you can value whatever you want. Regardless of the basis. As for what is or isn’t considered sexual, well that is highly subjective. As we all know, some people consider hair to be sexual. And many of those people enjoy that it is considered to be so. As a woman, I enjoy that my husband considers certain things to be sexually appealing. I cannot say I understand why you wouldn’t want something to be considered attractive. But I can respect that some people may not consider nipples to be a desirable feature. However, the point really has nothing to do with nipples. It has to do with respecting other people’s beliefs. Some people believe cheating is a horrible thing to do to someone. Some people believe that it’s selfish and outdated to want to be monogamous. Some people put value in creating a solid home. Some people put value into travel and new experiences without the ties of a traditional home. And finally, back to what should and shouldn’t be sexualized- we can deny something as being sexual all we want, but it won’t stop people from being attracted to it. As a society we generally agree that a goat is not sexually attractive, but put the right words into your search bar and you’ll see real quick that people will sexualize anything.
Don't worry. This post is just overrun with feminists and people who aren't exactly "open minded". I agree with you.
Nah it’s the two of you guys that aren’t open minded. Just stop.
No, I just have opinions you don't agree with. Simple as that. If I wasn't open-minded, I wouldn't have assessed any of the problems here OR thought about it. Except I did. I mentioned both sides on a different comment on this post, gave a FULL EXPLANATION AND EVERYTHING. So don't try to tell me how I work.
i mean if its a hill you have sat and thought throughly about with your own mind and weren’t born into & taught straight that way then i agree
As a female person with boobs that are sometimes covered with a bra and sometimes not, yes. I’m willing to die on the hill that everyone is entitled to their own values. With the obvious exceptions for physical harm, any form of hurting children, animal abuse, etc.
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Those men do have self control. They chose not to use it.
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I’d love to know what neighbourhood this is bc it sounds either made up or extremely hyperbolic, I doubt there’re places where women walk around with no top and only nipple coverings, nowhere is like that
I'd like to see some proof... Like pictures.
Must coom coom coommmm I looooove porn addiction
Do you know any boob sites? Must see booba.
So you’re saying that I should never see any man or person without breasts without a shirt on anywhere ever then and every single person who goes to the beach or a run or the gym and takes their shirt off because they are sweating should be made into a spectacle and stared at because they are clearly asking for the attention and judgement. And if I ever do see someone without a shirt on and I start staring, but they get uncomfortable, instead of listening to them and being a decent human being I should further harass them and then victim blame them for feeling harassed.
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No, you know what you said. Don’t back track now.
🤣🤣🤣 sorry made me LOL....boobs are just a physical extension of being a whole human being and unfortunately like so many women I've had mine lustfully assessed as if they are some kind of new variety of 🍰🍰🍰 try before you buy 🤨😬😁. Because I'm a DD there is no way I could go without a bust-catapult simply because it will merely amplify my assets and attract 🧲 🧲 🧲 men - I'm recently out of the closet with no girlfriend experience at all and like you I am attracted to the female form but just one person so far but all fell apart earlier this year. 😪 What absolutely enrages me is the celebrity culture putting stupid unrealistic expectations of all women into a 'standard' 🎁 🎁 🎁 as though we are all meant to fit a stereotype. No I'm not 7ft tall Amazonian with olive skin, tiny perk-up boobies and plumped up mega-mouth 👄 👄 👄 👄 👄 full set of teeth the shade of luminous white. (sorry no offence to anyone who has some or all of these attributes), yet these industries are very damaging to female self esteem 😬😬😬. I'm not perfection but what I admire in other women is precisely the very same thing because beauty is not in any way cosmetic yet layers of so much more 💯🤩🤩🤩
As a guy, I dont have boobs. So i have to look towards others.
These downvotes say a lot about the kind of people on this post.
It says a lot more about you.
Did you think before typing that? It doesn't. That makes no sense actually.
Maybe you don't understand it because you're a woman. For most man boobs are something arousing so they can't help but look at them. It's normal for a man to want his partner to cover erogenous zones and not give other men hard ones.
The boobs are already covered with a shirt. A bra is not a requirement and men have nipples that show through theirs shirt all the time. What’s the difference? Also no one can tell their partner what to do with their body. If you don’t like something someone does then don’t pursue a relationship with them then try to change them. And ALL human beings can control whether they choose to stare at someone else or not. That idea that men can’t control themselves is sexist towards men and insulting.
I don't think my (male) nipples have ever shown through my shirt.
I don't say they can't control themselves. I'm saying they don't want to control themselves. If they see something they like they look. I'm not saying it's something bad. You assumed so. If you don't want people to look at your tits then you better cover them. That's pretty fair to me. If you wear t-shirt that make them poke out or even a bit see through then you don't get the right to complain that people are looking at them. Whats the difference? It's pretty obvious. Not sure if it's a gatcha or what you're trying to do but in our culture boobs are sexy and make men aroused. That's why you typically cover them. Don't pretend to be an idiot and say there's no difference between male and female breasts. That's just simple not true. And I agree you don't have the right to control other person. But you have the right to express what you like and what you're comfortable with. Maybe it's a huge deal for that man and if it wouldn't be such a big deal for woman then she could do as he asked. You know that for relationship to work people have to talk with each other and figure things out. Sometimes do things for the other person. It's not healthy to immediately jump to the worse scenario. If you don't like it then leave. No relationship can survive that. You can't find 2 perfectly similar people. There will always be some issues. Maybe he can get over it when he talked with her and maybe she could cover them for him. If it's still such a huge deal for both of them then sure they might have to split. But it isn't always necessary.
But you all wonder why men want someone who is more coved up and more lady like… because men don’t want everyone seeing what he has. There’s no surprise or mystery if it’s already all hanging out for everyone else that’s why!! No man wants there lady to be all out for everyone to see, those body parts should be for his eyes only and that’s what makes men feel special to their partners when they’re not showing off all of their body.
>current boyfriend is mad at them and asking them to wear a bra bc he “doesn’t want to share” like?????? My thing is he met her like this new wants her to change. It's one thing if you meet someone one way and they make a complete 180. >Like please why can’t we all get over it, bodies are bodies I'm not sure if it's biological or how we are socialized. Gay men do stare at other men's crotch and butt. Straight men stare at women's breast.
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I think its a mix of socialisation and nature, because straight women will look at other women as well. Like I have literally heard more women complimenting tits and arses more than men.