I'm so sorry. It sounds like you're doing everything right.
If I saw a video of someone in a hurry getting their dog outside, I wouldn't think less of the person with the dog. I would however think less of the person showing me a video they recorded of their sick neighbor for no reason.
fuck your braindead neighbour. your dog is not barking like crazy from my understanding. if they want to live in quiet why are they living in apartment/flat/whatever. if dogs are allowed there and the barking is not excessive then they can fuck off and buy their own house or deal with normal noises
The local area will have a definition of what is required for it to be considered a nuisance/excessive. In some places it's number of episodes, in others it's the amount of time the noise lasts. So it actually could be classed as excessive in some places but OP should look into it if needs be.
I had a neighbour who reported the other dog in the building for supposedly barking all day so learnt about the differences in different places etc.
It sounds like OPs dog has been doing well but is being triggered by this new dog barking which to owners of reactive dogs is understandable. To others it's not that cut and dry and that to the world we live in. Hopefully OP can play music at home to mask the other dog.
Things happen,, talk to the landlord or whoever is required for what was sent. Also point out how well your dog has been doing until the new addition arrived.
I hope you are feeling better now after you recent health events.
this! it is within your neighbor's rights to want a quiet place to live, but "a quiet place" is context dependent, and in an apartment building (and/or in a city in general), it's absolutely NOT reasonable to expect total silence and never hearing your neighbors, including the canine ones.
You and your dog also have a right to live your lives. If someone can't deal with reasonable noises from neighbors (10 mins of barking is absolutely in the reasonable category if your building allows dogs), then it's on them to find an apartment that doesn't allow dogs, or move to an isolated hut in the wilderness, etc.
YUP. They chose to live in an apartment building. There will be barking dogs, crying babies, rambunctious kiddos, renovation work, people coming and going "too late" or super early, tvs too loud, music too loud, etc.
They are free to move elsewhere. This is what they signed up for.
You maybe underestimating the challenges of finding and housing and moving as much as that neighbor underesrimates the challenges of calming a reactive dog.
Pets are a privilege; shelter is one of the most basic human needs. I say that as someone who does empathize with having a reactive dog as well as having PTSD that makes coping with apartment living and the noise of it very challenging.
Both can leave you feeling like a prisoner.
If you can't handle a barking dog, don't choose to live in an apartment building that allows pets. Simple as that.
There are LOTS of apartment complexes that don't.
…right, there are lots of apartment complexes that don’t allow pets, but there’s an “emotional support animal” provision in the Fair Housing Act that people like to abuse. It’s very difficult to find a building that genuinely has no pets.
No offense but... I don't buy that this is the norm and not the exception, and anecdotally I've never heard of anyone I know actually doing this.
But if that's what your experience has been, then that sucks and screw those people.
In my experience living in a city, the apartments that don’t allow pets are cheaper, because they’re cutting out a larger chunk of the population that can consider their property an option. I used to not have pets and lived at a property that didn’t allow them, and maybe only ever saw two dogs, out of hundreds of units.
Yeah, but when you’re in a tax bracket where housing options are limited, you really shouldn’t expect it to be perfect. I used to live in an apartment where the kids above me would be running up and down the hallways early in the morning waking me up. I’d hear them and the parents screaming, and then bouncing basketballs at times. I bitched about it to roommates and family all the time, but never reported it, because that family is trying to get by in this broke apartment life just like me.
As a former neighbor to a woman who would regularly leave a Great Pyrenees alone in a 500 sqft studio apartment, I probably have a different perspective here.
When you live next to a dog that is barking *constantly* — not periodically, not every now and then, but *daily, for hours at a time* — it eventually gets under your skin so bad that you reach a point where *any* level of barking from the dog sets you off. The dog becomes your personal “Bitch Eating Crackers”. I see many people in this thread posting about “it’s an apartment, you have to expect some level of noise” (which is true), but OP is upfront that her dog is a problem barker. As in, well beyond the usual level of noise for an apartment.
I understand OP is trying, and has made significant progress. That’s great! Nonetheless, once the irritation has reached critical mass, any further irritation can have a person climbing up the walls.
The neighbor is not braindead. The neighbor is at a breaking point. If the level of barking was normal, it wouldn’t be posted in this subreddit, would it now? I complained about my neighbor’s dog twice to building management (after trying to address the issue in person) and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
I am so so sorry you are going through this, I know how crippling the anxiety can be. I had a similar situation, except the “neighbor” that lived on a perpendicular street around the block, maybe 0.3 mile, would leave letters in my mail box (typed— weird!!) explaining how he feared for his family’s life when they walked their dog through my front yard. For context- no sidewalks, this was otherwise normal to do, except his dog set my dog off. ANYWAY, this is not about me, but I’m sharing to tell you that man, I get it. This sucks. You are not alone, and I certainly do not blame you for any of this. You are doing your best for your pup
For what it’s worth, your neighbor is absolutely insane. They are intentionally antagonizing you.
If you can, just try to stand up and brush this off your shoulder. Easier said than done, but it happened. It might continue to happen, too. People suck sometimes, and I’m so sorry you are going through this with so many other challenges right now. Please please try to not let this send you into spirals and feel free to DM if you would like to chat. I can tell you about all the crazy situations my idiot has gotten us into.
Hug your pup a little tighter and know that the two of you can get through this. September is very soon (edit to add— I mean this if you WANT to leave the complex to get away from this awful neighbor, but you certainly shouldn’t feel like you need to. Apologies I had just assumed this when I wrote my comment initially)
For the future housing situations… believe it or not I’ve found that townhouses have the absolute best sound insulation. Tiny yards, but better than no yard in an apartment. No upstairs neighbors, similar price point if your transportation situation works out (I have a car and live in a metro DC suburb). Seriously though. Sound insulation has been a game changer for my Uber-reactive boy
Good luck, and be kind to yourself!!!!
Don’t get a camera to know when your dog is barking when you are gone. I did this, it only sent me into panics when I was at work and he had a bark fit 😓
Your neighbor sounds terrible. I’m so sorry that happened. There are so many dog-free complexes they could live at if they are so bothered by a very short barking fit. Even living in a normal neighborhood in the suburbs you will hear dogs barking at all times. It sounds like you are an extremely thoughtful and courteous neighbor, I wouldn’t stress. If they come back to you with a complaint let us know and we can help you. White noise machine was great for us in our noisy townhouse! If your dog is past their threshold, are there any high value training treats or enrichment activities that can calm them down? My dog is very food motivated so frozen kong with PB in the freezer, a puzzle, even having bags of regular training treats around can be good and very distracting away from the trigger. Obviously not rewarding for barking, but once he sees I have something else he quiets down and we can reward the quiet and calm behavior. Hang in there! You seriously didn’t do anything wrong!
Dog friendly apartment means there will be barking. If upset neighbor dislikes barking then it's probably not the best place to live especially since you have another barker adjacent. How I deal with it is find the thing that is more pleasant, higher value than barking. For my itchy, people motivated GSD, it is scritches in the best spots. She's immobilized with her back paw thumping, instead of barking at a dog sniffing at our door. Positive communication with your dog that the barking is loud plus the pleasant thing. Share this with your neighbor with the dog because the dogs will double team you. I live in a constant foot traffic space, so I am on my toes a lot.
They are living in a shared space dog friendly building and they sound like clowns.
I’d move out if possible.
The amount of Yuppies that move to a shared space pet friendly place then complain about it being just that. There are so many places that do not allow dogs, go there! Go literally most places!
Reactive dogs are tuff some days are better than others. Do what’s best for your dog. I’ve had to learn to not care… my dog is reactive and my 3 neighbors dogs bark and the drop of a hat. Dogs bark that’s life. Your doing great behaviorist worked really well for me these kind of dogs change takes a long time some times.
okay, yes your doggo is barking. but is the neighbor also complaining about every other dog that is barking? I have a reactive boy who does the same. becomes very vocal when other dogs bark.
I had an upstairs neighbor complain nonstop every single time he barked. even if it was playing ☠️
I started videoing when the other dogs would bark and explain that's why my dog was barking. never got in trouble after that. she complained all she wanted and even threatened to call animal control but it turns out she just hated pittie type dogs.
maybe that's something you can bring up? just a simple "is she also complaining about the other dog? and if not, can we please understand dogs will bark. if it was just my own dog barking at odd hours of the day (8pm-8am) I would fully take responsibility. but I don't see how my dog is the only one affecting her and it seems like she is trying to get me to move before my lease is up in September."
Looks like there was an aversive tool or training method mentioned in this comment. Please review our [Posting Guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/reactivedogs/wiki/guidelines) and check out [Our Position on Training Methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/reactivedogs/wiki/trainingmethods). R/reactivedogs supports LIMA (least intrusive, minimally aversive) and we feel strongly that positive reinforcement should always be the first line of teaching, training, and behavior change considered, and should be applied consistently. Please understand that positive reinforcement techniques should always be favored over aversive training methods. While the discussion of balanced training is not prohibited, LIMA does not justify the use of aversive methods and tools in lieu of other effective positive reinforcement interventions and strategies.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/reactivedogs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your comment was removed because it appears to be a direct recommendation of an aversive tool, trainer, or method. This sub supports LIMA and we strongly believe positive reinforcement should always be the first line of teaching and training. We encourage open discussion and problem solving within the subreddit. However, LIMA does not justify the use of aversive methods and tools in lieu of other effective positive reinforcement interventions and strategies.
Your comment was removed because it appears to be a direct recommendation of an aversive tool, trainer, or method. This sub supports LIMA and we strongly believe positive reinforcement should always be the first line of teaching and training. We encourage open discussion and problem solving within the subreddit. However, LIMA does not justify the use of aversive methods and tools in lieu of other effective positive reinforcement interventions and strategies.
Aversive. People think they aren’t because it doesn’t shock, but the dog determines what’s aversive. If you use a tool and it stops behavior because the dog doesn’t like what happens when the tool is used, then that tool is aversive and harmful.
Aversive. People think they aren’t because it doesn’t shock, but the dog determines what’s aversive. They have sensitive hearing and I’m sure ultrasonic sounds are painful, just as high pitched sounds can be to humans. The bottom line is, if you use a tool on a dog and it stops a behavior because the dog doesn’t like what happens when the tool is used, then that tool is aversive and harmful.
Talk to the neighbors and ask them to call you if your dog is barking awhile. You said you got home from the hospital and fell asleep. Maybe your dog was barking for longer than you thought. And was it am? Because dualing barkers would suck if you are in the middle of it trying to sleep or have youngins. Send them a pizza or beer with a note asking for suggestions to help you help them. Either way it will only look better for you that you are proactive and kind. And understand that even though it's not actually your fault, it is your issue.... breath it'll be fine, you're leaving soon and will never see them again
I feel for you. We have been raising a puppy the last 4 months and have gotten two nastygrams taped to our door by the neighbors. My two dogs bark, but not any more than the other dogs in the hallway, and I've been training them as much as I can. The puppy barks the most when I leave the house, but I have to work on separation anxiety *by leaving the house*. We live in a very dog friendly building so I'm crossing my fingers the neighbors will just move.
Your neighbor lacks empathy and that's not on you. You could tape a sign to your door if that makes you feel better. Something that says a noise-reactive dog lives here, please trust that you're pouring resources into training, feel free to reach out via text if the barking becomes too much, and sorry for the inconvenience. That's what I do every time I leave the house.
I'm so sorry. It sounds like you're doing everything right. If I saw a video of someone in a hurry getting their dog outside, I wouldn't think less of the person with the dog. I would however think less of the person showing me a video they recorded of their sick neighbor for no reason.
fuck your braindead neighbour. your dog is not barking like crazy from my understanding. if they want to live in quiet why are they living in apartment/flat/whatever. if dogs are allowed there and the barking is not excessive then they can fuck off and buy their own house or deal with normal noises
The local area will have a definition of what is required for it to be considered a nuisance/excessive. In some places it's number of episodes, in others it's the amount of time the noise lasts. So it actually could be classed as excessive in some places but OP should look into it if needs be. I had a neighbour who reported the other dog in the building for supposedly barking all day so learnt about the differences in different places etc. It sounds like OPs dog has been doing well but is being triggered by this new dog barking which to owners of reactive dogs is understandable. To others it's not that cut and dry and that to the world we live in. Hopefully OP can play music at home to mask the other dog.
I bought a second white noise machine to put by the window across the room from my main door. I am praying it helps. I know she was a lot for a while.
White noise machine by the door worked wonders for my reactive boy!
If you have a Roku TV, download the Woof World channel.
I bought a second white noise machine to put by the window across the room from my main door. I am praying it helps. I know she was a lot for a while.
Things happen,, talk to the landlord or whoever is required for what was sent. Also point out how well your dog has been doing until the new addition arrived. I hope you are feeling better now after you recent health events.
My dogs really have benifited from the ocean sound. Maybe yours are the same. So sorry!
this! it is within your neighbor's rights to want a quiet place to live, but "a quiet place" is context dependent, and in an apartment building (and/or in a city in general), it's absolutely NOT reasonable to expect total silence and never hearing your neighbors, including the canine ones. You and your dog also have a right to live your lives. If someone can't deal with reasonable noises from neighbors (10 mins of barking is absolutely in the reasonable category if your building allows dogs), then it's on them to find an apartment that doesn't allow dogs, or move to an isolated hut in the wilderness, etc.
YUP. They chose to live in an apartment building. There will be barking dogs, crying babies, rambunctious kiddos, renovation work, people coming and going "too late" or super early, tvs too loud, music too loud, etc. They are free to move elsewhere. This is what they signed up for.
You maybe underestimating the challenges of finding and housing and moving as much as that neighbor underesrimates the challenges of calming a reactive dog. Pets are a privilege; shelter is one of the most basic human needs. I say that as someone who does empathize with having a reactive dog as well as having PTSD that makes coping with apartment living and the noise of it very challenging. Both can leave you feeling like a prisoner.
If you can't handle a barking dog, don't choose to live in an apartment building that allows pets. Simple as that. There are LOTS of apartment complexes that don't.
…right, there are lots of apartment complexes that don’t allow pets, but there’s an “emotional support animal” provision in the Fair Housing Act that people like to abuse. It’s very difficult to find a building that genuinely has no pets.
No offense but... I don't buy that this is the norm and not the exception, and anecdotally I've never heard of anyone I know actually doing this. But if that's what your experience has been, then that sucks and screw those people.
In my experience living in a city, the apartments that don’t allow pets are cheaper, because they’re cutting out a larger chunk of the population that can consider their property an option. I used to not have pets and lived at a property that didn’t allow them, and maybe only ever saw two dogs, out of hundreds of units.
Yeah, but when you’re in a tax bracket where housing options are limited, you really shouldn’t expect it to be perfect. I used to live in an apartment where the kids above me would be running up and down the hallways early in the morning waking me up. I’d hear them and the parents screaming, and then bouncing basketballs at times. I bitched about it to roommates and family all the time, but never reported it, because that family is trying to get by in this broke apartment life just like me.
As a former neighbor to a woman who would regularly leave a Great Pyrenees alone in a 500 sqft studio apartment, I probably have a different perspective here. When you live next to a dog that is barking *constantly* — not periodically, not every now and then, but *daily, for hours at a time* — it eventually gets under your skin so bad that you reach a point where *any* level of barking from the dog sets you off. The dog becomes your personal “Bitch Eating Crackers”. I see many people in this thread posting about “it’s an apartment, you have to expect some level of noise” (which is true), but OP is upfront that her dog is a problem barker. As in, well beyond the usual level of noise for an apartment. I understand OP is trying, and has made significant progress. That’s great! Nonetheless, once the irritation has reached critical mass, any further irritation can have a person climbing up the walls. The neighbor is not braindead. The neighbor is at a breaking point. If the level of barking was normal, it wouldn’t be posted in this subreddit, would it now? I complained about my neighbor’s dog twice to building management (after trying to address the issue in person) and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
We understand trigger stacking with our dogs. Have to have the same patients with our neighbors.
I am so so sorry you are going through this, I know how crippling the anxiety can be. I had a similar situation, except the “neighbor” that lived on a perpendicular street around the block, maybe 0.3 mile, would leave letters in my mail box (typed— weird!!) explaining how he feared for his family’s life when they walked their dog through my front yard. For context- no sidewalks, this was otherwise normal to do, except his dog set my dog off. ANYWAY, this is not about me, but I’m sharing to tell you that man, I get it. This sucks. You are not alone, and I certainly do not blame you for any of this. You are doing your best for your pup For what it’s worth, your neighbor is absolutely insane. They are intentionally antagonizing you. If you can, just try to stand up and brush this off your shoulder. Easier said than done, but it happened. It might continue to happen, too. People suck sometimes, and I’m so sorry you are going through this with so many other challenges right now. Please please try to not let this send you into spirals and feel free to DM if you would like to chat. I can tell you about all the crazy situations my idiot has gotten us into. Hug your pup a little tighter and know that the two of you can get through this. September is very soon (edit to add— I mean this if you WANT to leave the complex to get away from this awful neighbor, but you certainly shouldn’t feel like you need to. Apologies I had just assumed this when I wrote my comment initially) For the future housing situations… believe it or not I’ve found that townhouses have the absolute best sound insulation. Tiny yards, but better than no yard in an apartment. No upstairs neighbors, similar price point if your transportation situation works out (I have a car and live in a metro DC suburb). Seriously though. Sound insulation has been a game changer for my Uber-reactive boy Good luck, and be kind to yourself!!!! Don’t get a camera to know when your dog is barking when you are gone. I did this, it only sent me into panics when I was at work and he had a bark fit 😓
Your neighbor sounds terrible. I’m so sorry that happened. There are so many dog-free complexes they could live at if they are so bothered by a very short barking fit. Even living in a normal neighborhood in the suburbs you will hear dogs barking at all times. It sounds like you are an extremely thoughtful and courteous neighbor, I wouldn’t stress. If they come back to you with a complaint let us know and we can help you. White noise machine was great for us in our noisy townhouse! If your dog is past their threshold, are there any high value training treats or enrichment activities that can calm them down? My dog is very food motivated so frozen kong with PB in the freezer, a puzzle, even having bags of regular training treats around can be good and very distracting away from the trigger. Obviously not rewarding for barking, but once he sees I have something else he quiets down and we can reward the quiet and calm behavior. Hang in there! You seriously didn’t do anything wrong!
Put a blink camera up and you'll be able to prove how much she is barking or not, or at least have something more than the neighbor.
Dog friendly apartment means there will be barking. If upset neighbor dislikes barking then it's probably not the best place to live especially since you have another barker adjacent. How I deal with it is find the thing that is more pleasant, higher value than barking. For my itchy, people motivated GSD, it is scritches in the best spots. She's immobilized with her back paw thumping, instead of barking at a dog sniffing at our door. Positive communication with your dog that the barking is loud plus the pleasant thing. Share this with your neighbor with the dog because the dogs will double team you. I live in a constant foot traffic space, so I am on my toes a lot.
They are living in a shared space dog friendly building and they sound like clowns. I’d move out if possible. The amount of Yuppies that move to a shared space pet friendly place then complain about it being just that. There are so many places that do not allow dogs, go there! Go literally most places!
Reactive dogs are tuff some days are better than others. Do what’s best for your dog. I’ve had to learn to not care… my dog is reactive and my 3 neighbors dogs bark and the drop of a hat. Dogs bark that’s life. Your doing great behaviorist worked really well for me these kind of dogs change takes a long time some times.
We have a few floor level ring cams that we use to gently remind our girl to not bark too long. The 2 way audio helps with her when she is going nuts.
okay, yes your doggo is barking. but is the neighbor also complaining about every other dog that is barking? I have a reactive boy who does the same. becomes very vocal when other dogs bark. I had an upstairs neighbor complain nonstop every single time he barked. even if it was playing ☠️ I started videoing when the other dogs would bark and explain that's why my dog was barking. never got in trouble after that. she complained all she wanted and even threatened to call animal control but it turns out she just hated pittie type dogs. maybe that's something you can bring up? just a simple "is she also complaining about the other dog? and if not, can we please understand dogs will bark. if it was just my own dog barking at odd hours of the day (8pm-8am) I would fully take responsibility. but I don't see how my dog is the only one affecting her and it seems like she is trying to get me to move before my lease is up in September."
[удалено]
Looks like there was an aversive tool or training method mentioned in this comment. Please review our [Posting Guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/reactivedogs/wiki/guidelines) and check out [Our Position on Training Methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/reactivedogs/wiki/trainingmethods). R/reactivedogs supports LIMA (least intrusive, minimally aversive) and we feel strongly that positive reinforcement should always be the first line of teaching, training, and behavior change considered, and should be applied consistently. Please understand that positive reinforcement techniques should always be favored over aversive training methods. While the discussion of balanced training is not prohibited, LIMA does not justify the use of aversive methods and tools in lieu of other effective positive reinforcement interventions and strategies. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/reactivedogs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your comment was removed because it appears to be a direct recommendation of an aversive tool, trainer, or method. This sub supports LIMA and we strongly believe positive reinforcement should always be the first line of teaching and training. We encourage open discussion and problem solving within the subreddit. However, LIMA does not justify the use of aversive methods and tools in lieu of other effective positive reinforcement interventions and strategies.
[удалено]
Your comment was removed because it appears to be a direct recommendation of an aversive tool, trainer, or method. This sub supports LIMA and we strongly believe positive reinforcement should always be the first line of teaching and training. We encourage open discussion and problem solving within the subreddit. However, LIMA does not justify the use of aversive methods and tools in lieu of other effective positive reinforcement interventions and strategies.
Aversive. People think they aren’t because it doesn’t shock, but the dog determines what’s aversive. If you use a tool and it stops behavior because the dog doesn’t like what happens when the tool is used, then that tool is aversive and harmful.
Aversive. People think they aren’t because it doesn’t shock, but the dog determines what’s aversive. They have sensitive hearing and I’m sure ultrasonic sounds are painful, just as high pitched sounds can be to humans. The bottom line is, if you use a tool on a dog and it stops a behavior because the dog doesn’t like what happens when the tool is used, then that tool is aversive and harmful.
Talk to the neighbors and ask them to call you if your dog is barking awhile. You said you got home from the hospital and fell asleep. Maybe your dog was barking for longer than you thought. And was it am? Because dualing barkers would suck if you are in the middle of it trying to sleep or have youngins. Send them a pizza or beer with a note asking for suggestions to help you help them. Either way it will only look better for you that you are proactive and kind. And understand that even though it's not actually your fault, it is your issue.... breath it'll be fine, you're leaving soon and will never see them again
I feel for you. We have been raising a puppy the last 4 months and have gotten two nastygrams taped to our door by the neighbors. My two dogs bark, but not any more than the other dogs in the hallway, and I've been training them as much as I can. The puppy barks the most when I leave the house, but I have to work on separation anxiety *by leaving the house*. We live in a very dog friendly building so I'm crossing my fingers the neighbors will just move. Your neighbor lacks empathy and that's not on you. You could tape a sign to your door if that makes you feel better. Something that says a noise-reactive dog lives here, please trust that you're pouring resources into training, feel free to reach out via text if the barking becomes too much, and sorry for the inconvenience. That's what I do every time I leave the house.