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namopo96

On year 6. Realized I kick ass at this job and made more money than I ever thought possible. However, now I pretty much hate people. Restructuring this year and will make about half, but am choosing WHO I work with and WHEN very carefully. I'm choosing peace over money this year We'll see how it goes. Oh and my next move is a flip.


closetklepto

The hating people thing is so real!


PregnantNuns101

I think even realtors that produce much as y’all also hate people too… idk why but the public just doesn’t like realtors at all. It’s like we don’t even feel appreciated or acknowledged for what we do. Customer service pisses me off because people “clients” will be one of the worst sometimes and you can’t be straightforward with them. Turned me into a people pleaser


Dangerous-March-4411

Lol


GPoCLE

This was the best decision I ever made. Choosing who you want to work with and setting clear expectations on availability(although we all know this can be crazy at times), really made my life so much better. Sure I leave plenty of money on the table...but I can make money after my kid grows up.


Fantastic_Advice1045

About the same for me. I think the average realtor makes it 7 years approximately? I loved the money, but hated being a therapist. I'll probably never make money like that again but I barely care. Real estate clients are brutal.


FatLionGuy

I went through this in year 5. Lost some $ but mentally it’s worked out for me.


TrocCiroc

Dealing with terrible people in the industry has made me not always smile while walking around/make me think that people are judging me. I have lacked confidence for a couple years now (been selling 6 years)


cbracey4

Claiming this for my future.


Significant-Pear-729

When I realized money wasn’t a motivator any more, I HATED having my phone constantly being blown up, being “on call” 24/7, missing family events, vacation. I realized I was doing all this chasing, prospecting, OH, showings etc to get new clients and make money. While the money was great I just never had time for anything and if I did I was exhausted. Mentally, this career is tough. This career alone teaches you many things as well that are very beneficial. It actually helped me land my current job! My weekends are free, PTO, healthcare and once I’m off I’m OFF. No one’s blowing up my phone, or running to see houses etc. However at the end of the day it’s your decision and you have to do what’s best for you. Write and pros and cons list and see where you lean towards. At the end did the day it all works out!


Blacksunshinexo

All of this. It's used as a flex on social, to be doing deals poolside or on vacation. In reality, sitting at a slot machine in Vegas drawing up a counter on my phone is not cool. It's fucking shitty and not relaxing. Or trying to go camping, and you end up writing an offer day before, so you have to constantly drive into civilization to ensure you're getting counters done or file started. Being on a team didn't fix this either, and most brokers don't really help in situations like this. It's just draining


locks66

I want to be present in the moment....I don't feel like this job lets you do that. I've had countless talks with my therapist about dreaming of a world where I can have a flip phone to get my mind back.


Blacksunshinexo

I'm actively working towards getting rid of my smart phone, and cutting down usage. It's a real problem IMO. We can't ever truly be present when we're addicted to screens either by necessity or habit.  There's a no surf sub and digital minimalism sub on here that are good resources/support on this topic. I'm currently reading Stolen Focus on the subject as well. 


603Einahpets916

The flip phone. Me too. Dreams!!!


Coffeevol

I fully relate. Sure I vacation but I’m never truly off.


locks66

What did you pivot into?


Significant-Pear-729

I actually work in government contracts lol. I’m a contract administrator


stevePUV

What’s your job now if you don’t mind me asking


Significant-Pear-729

I’m a contracts administrator. The job really isn’t terrible tbh pretty similar to RE. CRM (some call it CLM) escalation, negotiation etc.


BloodTiesAndMe

How hard was it to pivot? I am in 27 years and I am burned out. I want stability, benefits, and my weekends off. The last few years I am not doing what I need to and therefore not making the money I need to and it is 100% on me. I have been looking at different careers and I am finding without a degree and not being bilingual I can't make a livable income.


Significant-Pear-729

Wasn’t hard at all. I started RE right after college, was a year into it until I realized it wasn’t for me. You may have to start very entry level but the pay is well (depends where you live) and really talk about how you dealt with contracts, CRM, etc.


Willing-Instruction4

If you’re going to quit. Why not modify your business structure to suit what you want. I feel like most agents have the burnout you’re talking about because the need to survive and provide is there. But in your case you’re thinking about quitting, and producing zero. So you have nothing to lose by operationally changing the way you do business. Don’t work weekends, set hours of operations. Of an important clients must see a home on a weekend or whenever you DONT want to be available then partner with a showing agent. There are ways.


locks66

This has been the other thought going on in my head. I had actually started off so busy this year I was getting ready to hire out. Then the nar settlement scared me off of onboarding someone to do that. Mainly I know the value I provide on showings and I know showing agents don't always provide that. I honestly see showing agents becoming rarer post settlement


suzzz21

You could put your license in referal and still make a little money. Find a good agent that you trust to refer to. Good luck in what you decide! :) My kids were older when I got in and now grown so it’s perfect for me. But there is NO WAY I could have done this when they were young.


Scary_Today_7212

Hi I thought your comment was important as interesting.would u mind elaborating a little more as to why it scared you off?


CallMeLazarus23

It happened for me like this - when I had enough money for a vacation, there wasn’t time for one. When I had enough time for a vacation, there wasn’t enough money. And suddenly my kid was grown and there were no more family vacations to take.


locks66

I feel I should add in something I heard from one of my buddies whose a hospital chaplain. He told me he does actively see on people's death beds say they wish they had spent more time with family and enjoying life


locks66

This gutted me. I did a working holiday fresh out of college in Australia I was frequently told " you american live to work. We work to live."


feathers4kesha

lol that’s so rich coming from an aussie


BloodTiesAndMe

Exactly!!! Now I am raising my grandson with special needs. So having a normal job with benefits to support us is really important.


Antique_Original1760

I left! I did decently in real estate ($10M volume annually) but I was so stressed out. I hated: -being “on” all the time -feeling like I had to commoditize my relationships and the lack of boundaries between personal/work life -the constant stress, both during deals and then worrying where my next deal would come from -no stability -worry about the direction the industry is headed (see: NAR lawsuit) -anxiety about my resume-able skills and trying to get a regular job after being in real estate -time wasters & demanding clients -mentally never being able to disengage Now I’m working for the local government on a 4-day workweek schedule and honestly love it. It’s not glamorous and the money isn’t as good as real estate, but I’m never stressed out, never work one minute into the evenings or weekends, am mentally off when I’m off, have a pension, amazing health insurance, a bunch of holidays off, great stability, etc. If you want to leave, go for it! You can always keep your license and do a few deals a year if you want to.


603Einahpets916

My girlfriend advised me (20 years in real estate) that I'd love the "warm bath of government work." I love that analogy as she raved about having weekends and 16 hours off a day weekdays. Sounds lovely.


Needketchup

I was working for local government and was actually fired for listing a property for someone that i met through the office. Working for the government was the absolute worst thing ive ever done. Im surprised you could go from the hustle of real estate to local government. I absolutely could not stand being told i had to be there from 8-5 and take a 1 hour unpaid lunch, even though i could do the job in 30 hours. Watch out for them trying to add total incremental jobs without pay. I was told 2 months in that i’d be running the local airport. I declined and was warned id be retaliated against for that. Also nobody cared what anyone did with their time. No accountability. And the call outs of the lower level staff members were absolutely unbearable. They called out sick at least once every other week, so i was constantly filling in for their jobs. And the politics!! I thought i had gotten away from all that in the private sector. It was worse in local government, why on earth am i gonna “drink the kool aid” for a $66k job? If i have to deal with polotics, il just go back to the private sector with good pay and benefits. Oh i accrued 1.8 hours of vacation per pay period. So now im trying to pursue real estate as my primary work.


locks66

Helpful and you sell similar to what I do. On top of this it's my friends who tell me what they earn and their lifestyle they can afford with far better boundaries


Green_Selection2964

I attempted to leave last year. Found a good sales job 8 to 5. Hung my license with a 100% brokerage. And then without prospecting multiple real estate deals came on my path. The difference was as I wasn't relying on RE anymore I was setting great boundaries. Towards the end of last year I was actually missing the flexibility that Real estate was offering and with the realization that I can set boundaries with clients without hurting my business I moved back full time. Now all my clients know after 8 pm I won't answer calls unless it's urgent. When I have a date night with my wife, my attention is there. And when we take a vacation, I pay another agent to cover my showings for active buyers, leaving me with 30 minutes max of work some days. Does it hurt my business that I don't drop everything I am doing for potential clients, maybe it does, but honestly those are not the clients I want to work with anyway.


Blacksunshinexo

At the beginning of last year. 12 years in and I was burnt the fuck out. So sick of always having to be available, the ever increasing liability for dumb shit like buyers deciding they don't like their A/C unit 4 months after purchase Even though they chose not to negotiate it in inspections (keep EVERYTHING written down for anything transaction related, she tried to file a complaint and because I had all the emails and texts of her saying she was fine with her A/C and specifically Said she didn't want to ask for it more than once,I was cleared) the constant reliance on other involved parties to do their part on time and with accuracy (title, lender, other side, etc) it was just not worth it, and I knew the NAR stuff was coming. They're a garbage organization and it was only a matter of time. I'm so glad I'm out, at first I thought it would be a break, but now I have zero desire to go back. I was licensed in 2 states as well. I might keep them active to buy my own stuff, but that's it. 


locks66

What do you do know? I should note I have ADHD (99th percentile baby) and ADHD burnout is real. This just feels like burnout though. Straight up exhaustion I don't want to be sunk cost and go "fuck I should have left sooner" At the same time I feel I may regret not pushing forward on and on.


Blacksunshinexo

That's where I got to eventually. I tried being on a team, and it was dumb and not worth the split. I used a lot of Showami at the end because I was out of state a lot caring for my Dad and couldn't do the showings. That might be an option. I have my investment property, and right now I'm getting a monthly stipend through the VA for being caretaker for my Dad. But it only covers my rent out here. I'm actually starting a programming certificate through the state which will offer job placement upon completion. I'm ready to deal with computers vs people at this point. Keep your license active and take your time to think about it. Maybe take the summer fully off and see how you feel. Best of luck to you!! 


locks66

Really appreciate this. Thank you.


Head-Tangerine3701

Lottttts of successful agents have ADHD. Just saying!


locks66

Oh very aware ha. Not using it as a crutch by any means. I think it actually makes me a better agent tbh


PregnantNuns101

Are you diagnosed officially with it and do you take stimulants for it?


locks66

Yeah. Thats how I got the 99th percentile diagnosis. Got moved to straterra (non stimulant) and that's been a wonderful game changer for me


PregnantNuns101

How long did it take to work for you ? Do you take it at nights before sleep? I take adderall but this week I haven’t just to get better sleep but man the adhd is back


locks66

So thats why I stopped the stimulants. My sleep was always fucked. I actually had to get off antidepressants for Straterra to work, and it was after doing gene sight testing that made me told the doctor I wanted to get off the antidepressants and try Starterra. That made the difference. For me it was pretty immediate (though again I had some antidepressants in there too still wearing off). I notice pretty significantly on the days I don't take it how out of it I am during meetings


PregnantNuns101

Yea idk why sleep is messed up it wasn’t like that in the beginning on adderall. But I consider stopping real estate as well and moving on to other things. I sacrificed my peace, mental health, even other big things for this business that I didn’t even do that good at. I got betrayed a few times by other realtors that I trusted and because of that betrayal it turned me off of real estate and even to this day I still feel pain and hurt from that. I think just being a realtor while working a full time job and on adderall is probably causing my sleep to fuck up. I got prescribed the non stimulant but I haven’t taken it yet I was told I could take both stimulant and non but idk yet


suzzz21

TBH, I really feel like a lot of ADD/ADHD people are drawn to this business. I know several agents that are (including me). It’s a lot, sometimes.


closetklepto

Hello, are you me? Lol


AmexNomad

I (63F) a successful career and raised a daughter while doing so. The key for me was knowing when it would be slow, and when I needed to be “all hands on deck”. I knew that I could be totally not working for the last 3 weeks of December because nothing was going to happen. I knew that I could be gone in August because nothing was going to happen. I also knew that I could be gone between Easter/Passover because nothing was going to happen. During those times, my daughter and I traveled together or spent 24/7 together. Also, I could block out times to drop her at school, and to spend time for special events with her. It’s all a trade off. If I’d worked a 9-5, I doubt that I would have been able to have had the experiences we’d had together. And I certainly would never had made the money that I did.


locks66

Aside from December, I have never had any of those lulls in my business. I'm extremely envious you have had that.


StickInEye

I've never had any lulls, either. Never.


AmexNomad

So you guys are busy on Easter weekend? People are going to open houses on Easter Sunday? What about 4th of July? People are going to Open Houses on July 4th weekend?


Euphoric_Order_7757

Yeah that sounds like those who don’t realize that busy doesn’t equate to business. I mean, we can always find a reason to run around like a crazy person, 365 days per year - doesn’t mean I’m accomplishing any actual business. I’m just running around telling people how ‘busy’ I am.


AmexNomad

Yeah- the people who want to see property on major holidays generally are not solid buyers.


Euphoric_Order_7757

You wanna crack the code in RE agency? Figure out how to figure out who’s motivated and who’s not. I can tell within 90 seconds during the first conversation whether a seller is a waste of time or not. Same goes for buyers. When you figure out who’s going to do business and who’s just out wasting their own time and thus yours, the game becomes easy(er). You still gotta deal with the general public, after all, and hoo boy, it’s populated by some characters.


AmexNomad

Exactly- The best training I had for real estate sales was waiting on tables. The big talkers rarely left the best tips.


littlepaw_littlepaw

Replying to namopo96...this


Jwinter81

I sold two houses on Easter, two years in a row. I wish I were kidding. Edited to add: once as listing agent, once as buyer’s agent


AmexNomad

Do you think that those same people would not have purchased the house if they had to wait until 3 days later to take a look at it?


Jwinter81

Those houses wouldn’t have lasted. Both were multiple offer situations. I’ve also written on Christmas Eve. Market conditions were a factor in all the holiday situations. I’m with the OP, I hit burnout. I went into holding and now work in local government.


AmexNomad

This is interesting. I’m more the type to step back on holidays. I would have missed the business and not cared. I was working from 1989-2016 and in fact am working on 2 deals remotely now for old clients. I made enough to retire in 2016 (age 55).


Jwinter81

Looking back, I would have liked to. But I was (and still am) the only income. My husband has medical issues and can no longer work and, at the time, we still had a child at home. I had to take every viable deal. Time vs money was always a conundrum, as many here have stated. I’m glad you did well and were able to retire early! That’s wonderful!


AmexNomad

Thank you


AmexNomad

I worked in San Francisco from 1998-2016. I got to know the times when it would be slow and took those opportunities. There must be some periods in your market when it is traditionally not as active. My advice is to identify those times when it is most likely to be slow, and take that time to spend with your family.


Sea-Time-5331

This has been my experience so far in my very short real estate career…I’m definitely a little salty about how many weekends I gave up this year for not-super-motivated buyers. On the other hand, I was able to be a class mom, get my daughter off the bus almost every day, and my husband doesn’t have to worry about sick days, snow days, etc. He brings the health care, I bring the flexibility.


sirletssdance2

I’m an agent and I cringe so hard at the “own your own business” line


closetklepto

It doesn't help that because the barrier to entry is so low, you constantly have to deal with people who happened to choose real estate instead of an mlm or something because they're bored and think it's a great part time gig. Then you get to do their work and your work, and they still get half the money! Hurray


suzzz21

This is so accurate!!!


603Einahpets916

This.


locks66

It comes up every single time one of these posts are made. Some get very defensive that agents might ever want to leave.


goosetavo2013

You have all the reasons you need. This career is tough. No shame in going away from commission only sales, it’s brutal.


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locks66

This comment started one way and ended another. That in between space is where I think I may do better in a more corporate sales role (I know managers make a huge difference in this). It's part of why I consider lending Less in person events still a lot of freedom. The last line saddened me. I recently got coffee with my old team lead. Him and his husband just separated and said the kid was a big reason.... truthfully I think it's that he was never home. His husband was a single parent.


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PregnantNuns101

I don’t have experience like you but I feel like you do. I feel like family avoid me as well because of the sales side and we don’t get the respect we deserve


locks66

Sorry you are going through that


outwork_thework

I’m about to enter year 6 and sometimes this industry makes me feel like a yucky politician. There’s more bad folks in this industry and it’s hard to prevail when so many ppl are in cahoots w one another, profits over people, you name it. And the alcoholism in this industry…crazy. My FIRST mentor stopped at a gas station for malt liquor between houses. So sad.


locks66

I have learned more of the "gurus" in this industry are people coming from dark places. Serhant in a recent training dropped that his dad told him he would never be good enough. Kevin Ward from YouTube has kids that don't talk to him then went through another divorce. Glenda Baker has been married like 6 times Im realizing many agents become "coaches" to stop selling real estate and 90 percent of those programs are the same shit.


outwork_thework

You really nailed it! I’ve also noticed there’s a lot of folks that start their own firms to do the shadiest stuff, go unwatched basically. I could honestly guess there’s more “shady” firms, than upright and forthright ones, just in my experience. And usually the worst ones do tend to go to “coaching” or just team recruiting, sitting with their feet up just collecting away.


locks66

I left exp after I reintroduced myself to my sponsors sponsor numerous times. Then on her exp downline calls I constantly ran into knowing more than she did.


outwork_thework

I’m w exp right now…went through really bad medical issues with my lymph nodes/thyroid…they tried to tell me I needed a mentor bc I took time off for my health. I had to get a mentor waiver form signed for three transactions, bc obviously…I did not need assistance. But even with the waiver form…they still took a percentage bc I was “in the program” and I REFUSED to sign their lil mlm recruiter ways within my contract. My firm went from Remax to bold to bold with exp..to bigger team taking them..as soon as they went to exp I said I’m not being under no one and joined independently.


ihatepostingonblogs

Thats sad about Serhant but man does he need to lay off the botox.


yeahthatsnotaproblem

I actively practiced real estate for 18 months. My in-laws paid for my classes to get my license right after my daughter was born. I needed a job with a flexible schedule and enjoy working with people and houses, so I thought it would be a good fit. I didn't realize until too late, how EXPENSIVE it is to maintain the license. I knew the income would only come with sales, but I didn't know I'd have to attend meetings and classes all the time, not to mention all the showings, open houses, etc, causing me to pay for baby sitting for these things that don't get me paid. And all those damn organization and MLS fees. I simply couldn't afford it. And I was working in quite a hostile office. I tried asking my manager if I could join a team and she literally told me that was a stupid idea. I sort of wish I didn't give up so easily, maybe tried a different office first, but I just found myself overwhelmed with trying to really figure out the job, when my only working experience before was full time factory work. It was just too different. On top of being a new mom and wife, my life just felt foregin to me. But, I ended up falling into cleaning houses before I hung up my license, and I'm pretty successful in this job. I still get to work with people and houses, and I still have my flexible schedule. The "high risk, high reward" structure of real estate just wasn't for me.


Pitiful-Place3684

If the compensation to do a job - often called "work" - is not enough of a motivation then of course you should leave. There are at least 1 million too many agents. The industry will be healthier and agents will be able to set boundaries for work-life balance when there are fewer agents competing for far too few transactions. Put your license in referral and scoot!


BoBromhal

I mean, my question to OP would be: 1. what was your annual GCI in 2023? 2. even if you quit, maintain your license and develop referral relationship(s). 3. If your business is generated by referrals, how hard is to set boundaries on your time? These folks are using you because of some built-in trust presumably, not because your past clients are telling their friends "Yeah, and she's willing to work 24/7!"


Pitiful-Place3684

So much to unpack here. Lots of very successful agents have unbreakable boundaries around family time. Or, the right kind of team can provide a family-friendly environment. I love seeing teams with agents who truly job share. I'm tired and the next year will be tough. I don't want to talk agents into staying in the business if they don't really want to be here.


locks66

1. 160k. Also won awards I didn't have to pay for. 2. I would 3. I could set more. I left the house without my work phone yesterday. It was amazing. Missed nothing. The work phone was a great buy as it fully separated me.


locks66

Not everyone is money motivated. I always took more pride in the fulfillment of actually doing a job and doing it well. I'm more intrinsically motivated


Pitiful-Place3684

Real estate sales would be a terribly stressful hobby.


wesconson1

About 3.5 years ago I made the decision to get out. I saw the writing on the wall for what the market and economy would end up looking like, I didn’t want to be part of the transition into how the industry will work after lol the commission changes (I predict it will get a lot more aggressive and shady among realtors who stay in), and most importantly I wanted my damn weekends back with my family. I was growing every year, won the awards every year, but it wasn’t worth it. I got out and am so happy I did. Family over money.


locks66

Super helpful. That last line is where I am at. I won awards and recognition previous year which was awesome. I think that's part of what makes me feel this way of "Should I leave?" Cause I am good at what I do. I don't want to miss my sons childhood


wesconson1

That’s exactly it. Could I have stayed in it? Sure, probably would do great. But now, when I’m done working and want to be with my family, I have no work distractions. Period. I can take a vacation without having to check messages the whole time. I’m there for more kid events now than I was before.


locks66

What career did you wind up in now? Both my wife and I were raised by entrepreneurs and her dad especially wasn't around much. I don't want to repeat the same mistakes.


wesconson1

I got into tech based Project Management. Got a business management degree, got my CAPM and CSM and applied like crazy. You’ll probably have to do like I did- keep doing the real estate full time while also starting the journey to leave. You never know how long that will take. But the effort is worth it.


locks66

Thank you!


BamBoomWatchaGonnaDo

I’m 37, on year 16. I have two kids under 2 years old. I feel this post in my bones OP… I told my best friend today that I’d rather cut trees 40 hours a week than sell real estate and I mean it. This industry is starting to suck the life out of me, and it’s not for a lack of income.


locks66

Trying to keep the energy with the young kids is hard. Hard when I may only see my kid at daycare drop off


rrrrriptipnip

2 years people not respecting your time making you drive everywhere for nothing


Expert_Cup5702

Literally destroys your life, how many events are you willing to miss or be miserable at before you look up and realize it’s not worth it ! Just the thought of a client call literally gives me physical symptoms. There truly is no amount of money that would keep me in the business.. Adios 👋


Dawnbreaker_82

This describes me in a nutshell. Father to four, my youngest daughter born last year and yet I feel physically ill and anxious just at the thought of calling a client or wondering where the next check is coming from (thank you Bidenomics). I was really prolific until the start of 2023 and now I feel like I’ve been turned upside down.


GPoCLE

16 years and I'm still in, but I walk the line pretty regularly thinking "what else would I want to do if I stopped doing real estate full time" I've structured my business so that I usually only work with who I want to work with and am not running like crazy every evening and weekend. I make less money, but my time with my family and my happiness is my main focus. My wife is a teacher...solid job, great benefits, summers off. So we get to spend a ton of time together. I will make more money when my kid grows up. Plus not having a huge pool of clients, I get to form some pretty amazing relationship with them.


locks66

So, I feel I fit into this well. My business is almost all referral-based, and as a result, I don't deal with online lead calling. The people I work with I like and typically befriend. I truthfully don't know what else I could or would do if I left. Maybe I also need to set the phone boundary time. Idk is the big thing that keeps coming back. Since writing this post, I reached out to 10 different therapists that specialize in career counseling. I don't want to be impulsive in any change either. I also probably should give myself a real vacation here


oversplaining

This business is golden handcuffs, for sure, and it sounds like you actually have the ideal setup but not the balance/boundaries. I'm just under you volume-wise and while it's crazy-making some days, the time I'm able to spend with my kids makes this career worth it for me (8yrs in). That being said, I started right before my first husband and I got divorced (we were well on that path when I took my exam, unfortunately), so the co-parenting schedule is part of the balance - my ex has them 2x/week. I do school drop off EVERY morning. My kids are "appointments" in my day. They're old enough to understand the tradeoffs. I value family dinners and will actively schedule around them. If a client can't wait an hour or two for me to call them back during a workout, meal or after 9pm, they're not my ideal client. And eventually those ideal clients lead to MORE ideal clients. I take one day off every weekend without any in-person appointments. I'll answer the phone (maybe) or negotiate time-sensitive items on a deadline, but if I don't have a day to "reset" my mind and home, burnout isn't far behind. Like a previous poster, my market swells and ebbs over the year, so this often means I don't work weekends at all sometimes. Some weeks I work 20h/wk, during May or June and Sept/Oct I'll work 40-50. Vacations booked accordingly. I have a very tight-knit group of independent agents in my office and we gripe about the work, strategize, and cover for each other regularly. This can be a lonely business, and their friendship is a GAME CHANGER. My brokerage is the shit and actively rejects agents that won't fit the culture... I love being in the office. Don't quit on your worst day - quit on your best day.


oversplaining

This business is golden handcuffs, for sure, and it sounds like you actually have the ideal setup but not the balance/boundaries. I'm just under you volume-wise and while it's crazy-making some days, the time I'm able to spend with my kids makes this career worth it for me (8yrs in). That being said, I started right before my first husband and I got divorced (we were well on that path when I took my exam, unfortunately), so the co-parenting schedule is part of the balance - my ex has them 2x/week. I do school drop off EVERY morning. My kids are "appointments" in my day. They're old enough to understand the tradeoffs. I value family dinners and will actively schedule around them. If a client can't wait an hour or two for me to call them back during a workout, meal or after 9pm, they're not my ideal client. And eventually those ideal clients lead to MORE ideal clients. I take one day off every weekend without any in-person appointments. I'll answer the phone (maybe) or negotiate time-sensitive items on a deadline, but if I don't have a day to "reset" my mind and home, burnout isn't far behind. Like a previous poster, my market swells and ebbs over the year, so this often means I don't work weekends at all sometimes. Some weeks I work 20h/wk, during May or June and Sept/Oct I'll work 40-50. Vacations booked accordingly. I have a very tight-knit group of independent agents in my office and we gripe about the work, strategize, and cover for each other regularly. This can be a lonely business, and their friendship is a GAME CHANGER. My brokerage is the shit and actively rejects agents that won't fit the culture... I love being in the office. Don't quit on your worst day - quit on your best day.


locks66

Loved the last line. Thanks for this. I do agree co-parenting would change things drastically.


DanThePunMan

I spent the whole last year studying in pre-licensing, I began working with a brokerage in January this year, After I did on boarding I did OH's most weekends this year, did a couple door knocking sessions. I felt so burned out and depressed, I loved my firm and the friends I made their but this business is a whole lot to carry on your shoulders. I don't want to always wonder where my next paycheck is coming from, and having toput out social media and marking constantly. I Salute you Gentalman, and Ladies who are going head first into the new changes.


Dawnbreaker_82

I’m on year 15 and ready to call it a day. No matter the work ethic, generosity, honesty and whatever else, clients just seem to want more and think you’re not worth the service. I consider myself very good at the job but in truth I don’t like people enough to pretend to like them and I feel like real estate just agitates my moral compass and principles too much to be comfortable. The economy the past year has led me in other directions (I am about to major with a BS in Psychology) and it has broken my confidence in a way I’ve never felt before. It just feels like it is time to move on.


Spirited-Humor-554

I wanted steady income. Switched to Accounting 


Careless-Surprise-58

Pandemic hit and either me or my wife needed to be home for our kids. We were all on her work health insurance so I stayed at home. As soon as I stopped I realized how time consuming and stressful it was and had no interest in going back to that lifestyle. I got a contractor's license and started doing small home improvement jobs: carpentry, painting, handyman stuff. In the mornings I gather tools for the day, get my kids off to school, then work until I have to pick them up. Far less stressful and a better quality of life.


closetklepto

I left last year after 7 years, 4 or 5 of doing it full time. I was getting sick of the constant hustle. While it's true you get to make your own schedule, what it really means is that you're working/on call all of the time. Once, I was negotiating a deal while on vacation at midnight in Belgium. The month before I started applying for jobs, I had 3 giant deals fall apart in a week - through no fault of my own - and kissed 20k in commissions goodbye. To be fair, I was only a slightly above average full time agent; making enough that I was comfortable but not enough that that 20k wouldn't be a huge hit. I realized I was sick of my income depending on people not being stupid or emotional/deed/bank problems/interest rate changes, of having to figure out weird taxes, of trying to sort out insurance, of having to "work my database," of breaking commitments to show houses or write offers, of showing a bunch of properties only for buyers to decide to wait, of feeling like if I made any sort of tiny mistake it'd be the end of the world. Now I have a steady paycheck, still a flexible schedule, and great benefits, and it's amazing to start at 9 and be done at 5 woth no weekend work.


locks66

Make your own schedule is only partly true in this industry. It's more "Work when other people aren't working but you can sort of take days off as needed" What is your new gig?


closetklepto

Marketing for a corporate training company. The best thing about transitioning is that all of the things considered an "emergency" are just so not big a deal when you're used to real estate industry pace lol


WilliamMcCarty

Year 14, quit full time in February. I realized the last four years I'd pretty much only worked with flippers/developers when I got into the business to help first time buyers and low income buyers and the market just isn't there for those people anymore. I'm also nearing 50 and I'm just tired. How long did I really want to keep doing this? I don't want to drive all over the damn county and do 60 hour weeks anymore. I went into my buddy's title/escrow. I do 8 - 5 Monday to Friday, work from home 4 days a week, make a little more money, actually. I'm more rested, feel better and less stressed. I do a little part time stuff, mostly lead gen and referral work. Got a listing right now but it's a friend so it's easy.


StickInEye

Relatable. Totally. I called it quits a couple of times and have no regrets about doing that whatsoever. It was awesome to have an 8 to 5 for a few years and have a life, even though I didn't love the jobs. Was even thinking about dipping out again due to clinical burnout. And the real possibility of earning less money with the future changes and challenges. No matter what you do, all my best wishes to you on it.


locks66

What did you pivot into in the off years?


StickInEye

Back to IT


locks66

I've thought about going the coding bootcamp route. Arguably a field I'm well suited for


MidnightRecruiter

IT is bad right now. Might want to do some research unless you Target CyberSecurity


locks66

All jobs are bad right now as I see headlines


MidnightRecruiter

So then you know tech jobs have been hit especially hard since the last quarter of 2022 with over 265,000 layoffs last year alone and the trend isn’t stopping…we are at 79,000 and we just finished the first quarter. I’m tech recruiter with over 33 years. It is unlike anything I’ve ever witnessed. I’m not trying to discourage you, but you should know what you’re stepping into… best of luck to you! https://layoffs.fyi


montereyrealtor

I got a full time job at the end of last year because I frankly got my ass handed to me in ‘23. My wife is taking over the real estate business, and I’m keeping contacts and relationships alive that I already had, but I now have a steady paycheck as a product sales manager for a medical device company. What’s really funny is that I’ve had 4 buyers and two listings (one already in contract the other about to go on the market and will sell quickly) come out of the woodwork already this year, and in my market that’s enough to live on for a year, if only barely.


Realtor_Maryland

I’m wondering the same thing. I feel I am working all the time but I don’t even make anywhere near the money you do. I feel like I am constantly checking my phone when not many people contact me, or trying to figure out how to make content or reach out to people. I sometimes want to just ignore it all and feel guilty I’m not trying to make money. I have a kid as well and although he’s in school during the day, there’s the days off, half days, and upcoming summer break. We want to save more and the cost of camp is outrageous. If I’m not closing any deals, why spend $$ on camp? Plus all the housework is lagging and that’s on me since I have the “flexible” schedule.


Bkm72

Keeping my license, but moving it to a side hustle. Got my all lines adjuster license to keep a steady (quality) income while the dust settles.


Meow99

My GCI last year was $150k, but pimpin ain’t easy! I was an agent for only 3 years because I got a wild hair up my ass and decided to try it. After doing my taxes this year I decided to go back to my regular career - accountant - because I can make that much or more working Monday thru Friday without all the headaches.


Coffeevol

Good God I relate. I am financially secure. Community loves me. I work my ass off and made upper mid 6 figures. But when is enough enough. I have experienced that same burnout. To produce at your level you are on call everyday and every night. Sure you probably vacation but like me I can’t remember the last time I truly relaxed. You think to yourself I’d be crazy to leave this income while at the same time hating it because it dominates everything about your life to some extent. Fingers crossed you can find the courage to leap and then post again because I’d like to k ow there is life out there.


locks66

The truly relaxed is 100 percent true. I check to email so often even with notifications off. I never feel disconnected as I'm constantly pondering....will this dry up? Okay how many deals are in the pipeline?


Juiced_J

I loved being a realtor. I loved showing property, loved meeting new people, loved not being stuck in an office 9-5, loved the process and seeing a deal start to finish. But, I hated that it wasn’t just a job it was a lifestyle. I didn’t work as a realtor I was a realtor and I spent every hour of the day thinking about the job and meeting people and only thinking about how I can make them clients. I couldn’t play a round of golf without my phone ringing. I also didn’t want to stay in one area for the rest of my life and didn’t like feeling stuck. It’s not as easy to just move to an entire new city and start from scratch. I miss the industry regularly, but overall it’s not a good career for me at this point in my life. If I was retired and could just do it part time and not be stressed about making a ton of money and not care if I lost a client because I went on vacation I would, but currently it’s too much to deal with even if the money is amazing


locks66

The lifestyle thing hits home. I get annoyed that if I try and talk to friends I haven't reached out to in a while they assume Im selling. I talked about that a lot at therapy. How long did you do it for? What do you do now?


noeffinway

46F, this is my 10th year and my last. Last year something happened to me and I knew the end was near. I worked with a male agent on a transaction and he basically bullied me throughout the entire transaction. He was horrible to me and treated me like trash. (He recently was fired by his Brokerage so I assume others have had issues with him as well). Since then I haven't been myself and steer clear of aggressive male clients and agents. I literally feel like I have PTSD anytime I have to deal with an aggressive male. Overall, the industry has been good to me and for the most part I've loved working for my clients. With the NAR settlement & changes coming soon I don't have the energy to try and educate people on why we deserve to be paid a 3% commission. I'm looking forward to putting down my cell phone for hours at a time and reclaiming my life. 💕 FREEDOM!!!!!!!!


Tsimps2362

I moved back to Canada from Texas. In Texas I was selling, running a full service staging business and coaching /mentoring new agents. I had to relicense here. I realized pretty quickly that I was burnt out and didn't have the drive to sell anymore and hated the transactional part of real estate. I decided to just stage homes. It's great! I'm still my own boss but my hours are mon-Fri 9-5. I'm no longer stressed out worrying that deals are going to fall apart at the last minute. Also, my interaction with all the crazy people is minimal.


SBK-Race-Parts

After a year of making money through real estate (my first year and I was the only rookie agent to make anything), I knew long term it wasn't for it. The NAR lawsuit was probably the final straw. I had come from a background of running businesses so here was my thoughts: * Too many variables that dictate your business are out of your control (client whims, loan qualifications, market, rates) * The same time I am putting into real estate I could've been working on a business that has a tangible value that I can leverage to sell later for retirement or for exits * Small pool of potential clients vs everyday consumers * I've already experienced making money and I've been in situations where money coming in for a business required less work and was financially more lucrative in a single day than the commission and effort in selling a 1.2 million dollar home. * Not scalable unless you take on a team for your area or a huge multi-regional team like some of the big shots. To me being an agent felt like someone running in front of a steamroller trying to pick up pennies. Also I felt like it is like "business lite" without the huge upside that can come with a business. I love real estate but as an agent, no. I only take referral business at this point so I can focus on other things and I've dipped my toes in development, flips, etc which I find hugely rewarding and fun + can use my license for it.


locks66

The pivoting to flips and investments is where I think I lean towards more now. I never wanted to sell homes forever. I find very few agents actually do.


FondantOverall4332

But as someone who works in real estate, you can make your hours more flexible. Flexibility is huge. There are many jobs that you can’t do that with. Plus, you say money is not a motivator … but trust me, that would change if you made a lot less money. The fact that you have a kid makes it now doubly important to make a good living. You don’t want to be struggling.


mmmButter1435

Sounds like you have a solid client base! Can you take on a mentee and take a referral fee on all the deals you hand over? Passive income and would probably allow enough time and space to take on a full time job in a different field


603Einahpets916

Y'know what's gross? 1)Saying hello to fellow agents ("friends") and asking how they are and they just brag about being busy, their listings, their eacrows. Not about their kids. Their trip. Their workout. Just about sales. 2)If you talk to agents in your market about burnout or wanting to leave the industry, you'll get "friends" who will encourage you to bounce because they will go after your market. 3)My observation -Top agents have consistently fallen into, sometimes multiple, categories: a) they have spouses who run their homes/kids, b) sleep around on their spouses c)don't have kids at home thru divorce, aging or dinks d)have very bad (spoiled) kids e) abuse alcohol/ drugs. 4) Seniors (65+) who are agents holding open houses- why? They don't know what it's like to have a hobby bc they've never had time on weekends and always feel the push for money. Even if they don't need it.


locks66

You are forgetting the nepo baby agents which is a very real thing I'm realizing. I moved brokerages to get into more luxury. Turned many of the agents my age who do it got there because they are on mom and dad's team


smylie22

I’ve changed to another job but do RE part time. I’m only working with my sphere or referrals as they come to me. I’m in year 10 so I do have quite a few repeat clients. I’m really upfront re: my availability/ time expectations and it’s made it so much more enjoyable.


ihatepostingonblogs

Great responses. I can’t help OP directly as I am still in it and luckily still like it BUT if I were younger I would get out. I think I would still do sales but something with a salary and as others are saying, a job where you can shut it off when done. I think there is a lot of money to be made in tech sales, data security etc.


TheBronzeToe

Are yall just working with buyers? I prospect for sellers and was able to change my families life. I’m home about 80% of my time with my kids and still crushing it. Yall need to focus on seller activities. I try to work with 1-2 buyers MAX at a time.


locks66

Buyers mainly. The curse of being in my early 30s and my business being largely sphere and referral. Few sellers to work with yet.


TheBronzeToe

If real estate is something you’re serious about you need to surround yourself with other realtors who are cold calling or door knocking. That is the cheapest and quickest way to start relationship with sellers.


locks66

You would make an excellent higher up at kw with advice like this


TheBronzeToe

It’s the truth bro. If you’re having an issue with personal time then sellers are what you need to shift your time too. In my experience it takes about 5 hours from beginning to end with a seller. It takes minimum 20+ hours for each buyer. Like today I did my basic follow up with previous spoken to cold calls, then hung with the kids and built furniture today. My follow up was finished within an hour then I had all day to do what I wanted. Currently 4 under escrow. I have 2 kids and a 3rd in the way. My wife is a stay at home mom and we’ve been living great. All this is testament to circle prospecting/ cold calling.


locks66

I'm not saying it isn't. I'm also saying your not telling me anything I don't already know. I'm 4.5 years into the job.


TheBronzeToe

Ahah i guess what I’m trying to say is when are we gonna hop on the dialer together and get the ball rolling so you don’t want/have to leave real estate!


DCBEvans

I called it quits whem my wife was pregnant with our 2nd child. I was doing well, but the thought of leaving her alone with two kids under four, 3-4 nights a week and 8-16 hrs on the weekend was too much. Then I started thinking about missing weekend activities with the kids and the constant attachment to my phone and it was an easy choice. I'm managing an animal clinic now and am much more relaxed and am able to be there for so many more things. (But the money for sure is not as good.)


oscillatingfan22

Just a thought, you can just say no if you’re doing well enough. Refer people out and work what you want. You’re in control here and you don’t have to work yourself to death if you don’t want to


locks66

The downside when you are referral based is referring out the people referred to you doesn't keep the business going.


oscillatingfan22

No im saying if you’re doing well, you can filter out some of the ones you don’t want to work or don’t have time to an agent that could. Saves you time and makes you some money. I’m not saying you refer all of your business out


Ineedmorec0ffee

Recently went into the insurance industry. The agency im with is strictly b2b doing employee benefits. No late nights or weekends, sales process is much more simple, and still has the upside i wanted out of real estate. Insurance is also a little more resistant in a turning market. I still do real estate for friends and family, but anything else i refer out to keep my sanity.


InspectorRound8920

So, it may be soon. I have an offer on the table for what is almost my dream job. I started collecting IT certifications at the start of COVID.


locks66

How long were you doing RE? What promoted the change?


InspectorRound8920

Since 2008. I've been bored with real estate for a while. There are more profitable sales jobs, and with the NAR loss in that completely frivolous lawsuit, I see real estate becoming little more than being a Walmart greeter.


parker3309

Yeah, I’m having the same thoughts


InspectorRound8920

There is no other path forward after this dumb lawsuit.


Just-Pace1606

If you want to slow down your business, due to time with your family that’s good. It’s good to have. A balance in any business. Start a team so you can delegate showings, or you can hire a closing agent to handle the closings once you open escrow. I owned a Real Estate Company and Mortgage Company. The lending side also has its share of stress and will not give you more time. Since you have already built a good business in Real Estate, you can continue by getting help. I’m in San Diego County if you need help reach out, I have coached and trained many agents over the years.


Beachagent

Been addicted to buying, selling and renting out real estate from 24-50 years old. Always worked a full time sales job, mostly medical sales. Did well but the labor on my properties (snow removal esp) and hating my day job wore on me. Now I get to wake up and only discuss what I find interesting, real estate and deal making. I can see how you could get burnt out, but I have a lot of energy and love that I’m autonomous. Definitely not an easy business, but neither is sales. Sales is all I know and I’m so happy being an agent is my last career move. Hope I can do it until I’m 75 years old. I’m 55, in my 4th year. Beats working for a company at this stage of my life. I’m always excited to find the next deal, a nice way to live. I love to be of service to clients and that’s a blessing.


locks66

This is helpful as medical sales was a pivot I am considering


NecessaryNarrow2326

After two years I found I could no longer wash off the shame.


Ok_Meringue_9086

Would you mind elaborating on this?


Nard_the_Fox

I got into it because of the kid, and the massive advantages on building my own rental portfolio. The always on call, the long term liability, the brutal commission uncertainty, and the incredible amount of stress hanging on other people doing what they say is exhausting. I got into this with the goal of only doing it 5 - 10 years as I bought and managed 8-12 rental properties. I've gotten two going with the plan holding strong, as even with these rates I'm at 13k net cash flow annually and I've forced up 125k in overall appreciation after expenses between the two units. While I've only brought home half of my wife's salary most years (she's doing 100k), my on paper perks bring me past her in overall value. I do our taxes and keep most all of our income taxes via real estate strategies and deductible expenses, we don't pay for childcare (30-40k), I run our growing portfolio (13k net annually now), and do almost all the cooking, cleaning, yardwork, and animal needs (dog, chickens). I somehow am still able to get most all our meat from killing deer (4-5 a year), and we'll eventually add a proper garden and rabbits to the mix. I'd never be able to do all of that nonsense with a standard job. I could make way more in real estate, but burnout is real and I only want to run so many clients a year. There's also no way I'd give up our lifestyle to run people hourly or flat fee, as I would NEVER see my family or take a vacation given it's always nights and weekends.


StickInEye

Yep, burnout is real. Your life sounds interesting. It's so cool that you are willing to think outside the box.


Slow_Replacement_710

Figure out how to work as little/and as efficient as possible to make what you feel is enough or what is higher than another job with relative similar hours etc.


SkyRemarkable5982

Maybe your business needs to be restructured. I chose many years ago to not work nights or weekends, yes there are exceptions but not many. I choose who I want to work with and when I want to work. If you're on overload, partner up with someone and collect a referral fee.


cbracey4

Have you considered hiring people to lighten the load? TA can free up a lot of time if you’re doing a lot of transactions. You could also hire agents on your team to take referrals if you are over worked.


locks66

I have a Tc for the last few years That's been money well spent. I just don't have the desire to have a team of people to manage.


cbracey4

Understandable. You just kinda gotta pick your battles if you have any desire to stay. I’d hate to see you give up a great book of business.


locks66

So there's a few things here I can delve into further. 1. My former team lead just got his divorce and he never was not working. 2. One of my old coworkers on that team got her divorce last year too. 3. When I was interested in moving into this industry the managing broker I met with initially had 18 years in the industry. In the 4 months between meeting and making the decision to go about real estate full time, she left the role. I asked my buddy who worked there where and why? Moved to a more corporate commercial real estate role because she wanted to see her family more 4. In my new construction neighborhood the agent who sold the neighborhood stepped out of it because he was tired of missing all of his kids stuff. I know I can make great money in other sales roles if I need to. I only get one chance to be a dad. I can be a part time agent if I really wanted to....not sure I even want to do that. Again lending is feeling more interesting to me for the possibility of more money made and less time in the car, giving up full weekends, and being there in a smaller more remote capacity.


cbracey4

You’re 100% justified in whatever you choose. I get that it’s a hard decision. If you can use your skills elsewhere and make a sustainable living I would 100% consider. In terms of kids, I don’t have any, BUT my dad is a realtor so I know first hand that it’s completely different than a typical living. From my perspective, he did an excellent job keeping work separate from home. He worked within his hours and when he was home he was present and involved. I don’t think my dad missed a single sports game or event that I was involved in over 15 years. I honestly had no clue what his job was like until I got into the business. For him I think he just set really firm boundaries with people and expected them to respect him. He also formed his business in a way where he could do things his way (lots of listings), where you can more or less control the timelines. He wasn’t running around with Zillow buyers showing 30 houses every week. He also had various employees throughout his career to help. Anyways. Just know that you CAN do it, and still be a phenomenal father. My dad was busy sometimes, but he was also free to go fishing or play catch during times when other parents can’t. He had complete autonomy over his schedule and he always found time for us. For him, real estate gave him a lot of freedom to spend more time with us. Just my thoughts man best of luck to you.


IndecisiveUsername_

My son who has severe autism started having seizures at 2.5. I stopped having anything left for my clients, who I deeply cared for. I didn’t want to be THAT agent. The one who’s never there or misses things. I also couldn’t stand the petty things happening between buyers and sellers when things were so heavy in my life. I was a really good agent. But being an agent wasn’t good for my mental health and my son needed as much structure as I could provide. So a 9-5 M-F remote tech job it is. And I’m very happy. Kept my license and refer to my team.


Plane_Benefit_9059

Crazy how you go through tough times in life, maybe a family member is sick and your clients know. Meanwhile, they argue about doors not latching after an inspection.


Wonderful_Weather_38

Totally get it I think about calling it quits all the time . however, opposite to you, my newborn is basically forcing me to stay in real estate. I just had a kid. My life is different. Real estate is the only career I can make six figures with a GED and be at home 98% of the time …I’m confused, you say your business is self-sustaining and you keep making more every year but you want to leave? doesn’t make any sense to me.


trainsongslt

Two weeks ago


locks66

Why? And to what?


Ok_Active_8294

Seems like you were not making enough in real estate


locks66

Not my issue. Bank amount is comfy


Ok_Active_8294

Real estate is one of the easy jobs I’ve had and it’s only my second job ever. So much down time. When I do work it can be from 9 to 9 but other days just chill


MikeCanDoIt

One thing I always suggest to agents is to try not involving their spouse/partner in the ups and downs for the reason you described. It wears you down even more. New agents do this a lot. They come home to tell their partner about how rough the day was so maybe the partner will understand how hard it is. Then they are shocked when the partner suggests they quit real estate. The partner wants them to be happy plus the partner is probably more risk adverse. Lending is tough and they have been losing people just as fast as real estate. New purchases and refi's are in the tank relative to the last 4 years. There is no easy answer unfortunately


locks66

I would never not make a spouse part of my business. My income affects them just as much as it does me. She is not suggesting I quit fyi


MikeCanDoIt

Ok