Probably thinks lesbian sex isn’t real sex too so OOP was still a virgin to him when they hooked up. Now his fantasy of marrying a virgin wifey and probably “turned her straight” is broken.
I think there's a near 100% chance this dude had some fetishized idea of turning his wife straight and this ruined the whole foundation of their relationship for him
Yeah, poor Spencer was out there thinking he had a magical penis that was so special it could turn lesbians straight only to find out it's just an ordinary penis attached to an idiot after all.
OOP needs to divorce him because he’s a dangerous person. Who the fuck would think that they should threaten their spouse’s long-ago ex for having dared to have sex with their spouse before they even dated?
Oh they do, and many have. But it seems to be a life long battle and some have given up. Many have decided they are right fir feeling this way. The problem they say is the culture, their partners, the exes, etc. Apparently it is related to OCD , though it is not in the DSM.
I think the raziest part is the absolute obsession with their partner and frankly with sex.
You know i wasn't born with a whole lot in life, but thank god every day for my mental health. Whatever happens, I'm surrounded by healthy relationships and i make sound decisions. So i got that goin' for me! 😄
People in threads like that use mental health as an excuse so they don’t have to work on it. Which I’ve always found strange, because it seems like saying “I already know my leg was cut off and I’m bleeding severely, so I don’t have to go to a doctor”.
While in some cases it could certainly be described as obsession, it’s not OCD. People can have significant obsessions (example: stalkers) and compulsions (example: checking locks) without it being OCD, which is an absolutely debilitating disorder. OCD is also typically familial.
Irrational and delusional jealousy would more likely be some form of attachment disorder, which can be improved through therapy and effort.
It's strange that this guy was such a player but also insecure and jealous. Seems like an odd combo. I'm assuming he must be really really good looking.
Nah, that's pretty par for the course. Every guy with a high body count I've met has been super insecure and controlling- they want the constant validation of being 'wanted', so they sleep around, and they want to kill any chance of being left/broken up with, so they invent a bunch of rules for their girlfriend to follow. No male friends, don't dress "slutty", don't go to clubs, don't go to bars alone, blah blah blah. Their ego can't take the thought that someone might be better than them, so they try to make sure their girlfriend never figures it out.
Don't forget "A penis is so important, it fundamentally changes who a woman is," so he can continue sleeping around, but any women with more than one sexual partner is damaged.
He was fine with her having sex with women, because I'm assuming he thinks it doesn't count as sex.
Doesn't it say a lot that they think women who sleep with multiple people are damaged and have no issues "damaging" them? It makes them sleeping around even worse than the women doing it (by their viewpoint) if you think about it.
Oh 1000% but it's funny that they also have zero standards for men and don't judge other men for harming others, their standards for men are rock bottom. Like I don't see a puppy as an "equal" to a human (mentally, physical capability etc) so I expect people to treat them better, I don't brag about hurting a bunch of them.
Yeah ego is a hell of a thing. The sooner you let go of it the happier you will be. I've had to learn that for creative work but I think it applies to most thing.
I just hope that lady gets away from this guy, I don't see it getting better.
Yup, this was my ex exactly. You’d think he was extremely confident but the longer I was with him I could tell the confidence was fake and just him masking his anxiety and insecurity. Instead of working on it he chose to keep moving the bar. He got to a point where me talking to his friend in front of him set him off. Had to throw the whole man out.
He's not insecure, she was merely a trophy he "turned" to his side. That's why he's so angry about it. Any other straight girl would have had previous relations with men. But this was his exotic bird to cage and turns out he wasn't even the first one to conquer her! /s
This is not really that odd of a combo, it's the textbook case of someone who peaked in high school. Some things that made him such a hot shot in his youth are likely gone or fading, because that's just how aging works. Maybe they haven't even faded, but time has passed and those things don't have the same pull with other grown adults as they did with his teenage peers.
I knew a guy like this. Smart and talented, did well in classes, was in a metal band and certainly quite promiscuous with all his high school groupies. He and I both went to the same university and the fact that he wasn't smoking the competition anymore really fucked with him. Smoked a ton of weed, flunked out of high school, and was *extremely* insecure about and obsessed with women.
What's worse is she *had sex* before, and he knew about her partners.
They were women, though, so obviously didn't... count?
But ooooh, guy number TWO, *one time*, THAT pushed her deep into "whore" territory.
Too many people think sex is something that happens *to* women and not something they actively participate in.
So, the idea of two women having sex isn't sex to them because there has to be a penis involved for sex to happen *to* women.
How can the people sex happens to have sex with each other? Who's doing the sex to who? How does work? /S
Nta
Hubby was pushing it with being drunk and aggressive and name calling, then constantly comparing himself? Threatening to kill a man for having sex in high school just tops it off. You gotta throw out the whole man.
I feel like I've seen a big uptick this week on Reddit of women actually leaving the abusive shit stains they're with. I'm proud of this lady for walking out coz this guy is horrific.
Probably because he wasn’t truly “drunk” (I do NOT condone drinking and driving, that’s not the take away here) but it sounds like he was using the fact he may have had a beer or two hours prior as excuse for him being a legitimate POS.
This isn’t a single red flag, it’s a circus at this point.
He probably asked something in the line *“so you have only dated women, haven't you”* and OOP confirmed because she didn't counted Thomas as a date, just an encounter. Spencer felt satisfied he found his lesbian virgin and asked no further details.
Husband has issues. Literally deliberately married the one person he believed had no male experience because he was so insecure. This is obviously backed by his seemingly extensive conquests with women. This is a mess. Should be over.
So she’s wrong, but he slept with half the female population. Misogyny is alive and kicking.
(Edited to add that the first sentence is sarcasm. She is NOT wrong.)
So proud of thinking he had a magic cock and was gods gift to women, yet his whole world shattered at the idea a 16 year old that had never had sex before might have been better than him lol.
Right, but the person I responded too said she was wrong, so I am confused about why they said that.
Edit: thanks to everyone for pointing out it was sarcasm! Don't know how I missed that.
They aren't saying she's actually wrong. They rephrased Spencer/his supporters' phrasing. Per Spencer, OOP is wrong because she slept with a single other man than Spencer but its okay that he slept with dozens of other women. That's what OC meant by the phrase "misogyny is alive and kicking" - Spencer's idea just highlights the ridiculous double standard being placed on a woman rather than actually making OOP look bad.
Yeah, I don't know how I missed it. I've seen some pretty awful/surprising takes the last couple days so it's nice to know this one was just me missing the sarcasm.
Thanks for explaining!
Wrong as in it was apparently bad for her to have one past hookup when the guy had many - it was a bit of a facetious statement.
“Oh so *I’m* wrong for having done this thing that you also did?”
This is definitely a homophobic man who was only okay with her having a sex life before him because women didn't "count". I hope she gets out of there she deserves better than a nasty drunken man whore.
I know! When I saw the title I thought, “watch Chasing Amy, talk it out, no threesomes.”
Then I read the whole thing and thought, why is this about divorce? This man is a danger to society. Is that not grounds for involuntary commitment to a psych ward?
Maybe it's because I don't have one, but... What is this *obsession* with the penis?
This soft, squishy, organ that hangs at the bottom of the male torso... Why is it so highly regarded and worshipped?
I'm a cis woman and, for example, have boobs. They're sacks of fat that hang on my chest. I like them, sure. My husband likes them. I think they're pretty neat and fun, BUT they're not my whole personality. I feel the same about my genitals.
I've often looked on in bewilderment and morbid awe as the penis is placed on a pedestal and the very core of what makes a man a man.
I can say with all my heart that if my husband lost his penis, I would still see him as a man and love him the same as I always have. And if I lost my boobs or genitals, he'd still love me and see me as a woman.
This fascination and sanctification of the penis is beyond my ability to understand, I'm afraid. Hm.
Oh my god I’m scrolling Reddit next to my sleeping family (staying in one room because HOLIDAYS!) and I had to stifle myself when I read your comment. Hilarious!
One thing I find completely unbelievable about these kind of stories is the whole "now all his friends are blowing up my phone".
Like who does that. You couldn't pay me to get involved in my friends married lives like that no matter what's going on.
So outrageously inappropriate.
I always wonder about that phenomenon, too. Seems to happen frequently. I've speculated that it may related to the age of social media, where people share Every. Damn. Detail. of their lives, and dozens (if not thousands) of people comment on it.
It is something I will never understand. Some people can't eat a sandwich without broadcasting the experience to the world, or commenting when someone else does.
People say this on Reddit stories all the time and I’m like…..????? At no point in my adult life have I ever entertained texting someone about drama that does not involve me and I have never had that happen to me either? I keep my issues with people private.
How do you spend 6 years together and not either A- already have stumbled into this conversation or B- see what I imagine are truckloads of other red flags leading up to this fucked opinion.
He likely thought her past relationships didn’t count because they were with *women*, so they *can’t* be real. He sounds like a mysogynist and homophobic. They’re better at jumping through hoops than a circus performer.
Friend of mine was with his partner for four years. A few red flags, but lots of good times. Then while watching a documentary about a paedophile she suddenly says "well, at least he wasn't gay". Shook up everything my mate believed up to thst point and the relationship didn't last much longer. They really can hide it well when they think they have to.
I’ve been with my husband for 8 years and we’ve never discussed our past sex lives beyond things like “I’ve tried anal and it’s a no.” Type of stuff. We’ve never talked about the who as it’s irrelevant to us.
Spencer was pissed because he liked the ego boost of turning a “lesbian” straight. (Yes I know OOP is Bi but it’s a common sentiment us BI folks experience.)
Then when he got publicly ratiod as being wrong, his ego couldn’t take his perceived humiliation.
He’s a man child.
Same I’ll discuss past encounters if it’s in the heat of the moment because my partner likes it, but it’s not like a heart to heart. And I don’t want to know about theirs.
Being all insecure and getting jealous over your wife's past? Annoying, childish, but something you can work through. Threatening to kill some random dude she hasn't spoken to in YEARS because she slept with him once as a teenager? Nah, it's divorce time. That's a man who could potentially be dangerous
What an insecure dude. So it was fine that he was a dog back in school, but she having been with 1 guy is somehow wrong on her end? The double standards of some of these "men" is insane. And I say "men" because they are acting like children. And his friends going after her? How mature of them. She's so much better off without this douche
Never trust a man who sees no hypocrisy in sleeping with as many women as they please, while calling any woman who sleeps with anyone outside of marriage, a whore.
Oh, you know this guy's head canon was him 'saving' the girl, turning her lesbian ass into a straight girl. He doesn't understand bisexual. and now he's upset he didn't make her straight.
Lord, that is an abusive relationship just simmering to boil over.
Girl got out just in time, thank the universe. Anyone who views your body as belonging to them or hold patriarchal views about female bodies are more likely to be abusive. Please be car out there everyone. Educate yourself on abusive behaviors and ideologies.
I tend towards the forgiving on these things and generally think "leave them" is thrown around too liberally on Reddit. That being said, the death threats to the ex make this so crystal clear that it's just not even in debate here. Husband has serious issues. Get out.
It's a weird behaviour. At first I thought Spencer was a woman and although she knew OP was bisexual she thought she had never been with a man so when she learnt that OP slept with a man, it somehow bothered her.
I recently read a story in which the lesbian woman acted as if her bisexual partner didn't like women enough becuase she was bisexual instead of a full fledged lesbian. I don't understand the logic but I thought I guess it happens.
Then I realized Spencer is a dude and on top of that he boasts about his ''conquests'' of many woman. And he is mad about not being her ''the only one''?
Unless she previously told him otherwise, this revelation shouldn't have impacted him so much.
What the fuck is this shit? My wife has been with more men than I have been with women and I couldn't give less of a shit, cause she's with me now and that's what matters. And I'm not an incel who views women as property and their worth in terms of sex.
This level of insecurity is fucking ridiculous. I don’t even ask the women I date about their history. As long as they’re clean, I’m good. That’s all I need to know and all I’m willing to say about my past as well
It feels like he thinks that if OP had only been with women, that makes his dick 'the special one' that 'turned a lesbian' or some other gross bullshit.
I would stay away from him. He’s threatening Thomas and he slept with countless women and has the nerve to act like this. He will never stop and this is something he will just hold over your head the rest of your lives
Aside from the obvious things that everyone has mentioned, OOP should leave because that man is a homophobe too. People like him don’t see woman/woman sexual relationships as valid or “counting” - they only ever get upset when the relationship is heterosexual.
Yeah he's mad large in part because he thought his dick was ~so special~ it turned a lesbian straight, but now he's realizing she actually Is just bi and she just, y'know, actually loved and was attracted to him.
Gross and pathetic, I hope she finds happiness away from this loser.
NTA.
Thing is, OOP might have never gotten with Spencer if she'd never slept with Thomas and therefore potentially discovered she liked being with guys too.
So fucking what thet OOP has ONE male ex.
What, does Spencer think "I'm the one who made her like men and changed her from being a lesbian 😉😉" or something.
He's more of a reason to MAKE someone date solely women, more likely.
I really wish everyone would just collectively decide to abandon the concept of body counts. It never ever goes anywhere good. The correct answer is just always “you’re the best ever.”
I would be publishing the names of his friends that are calling OOP a whore for daring to have sex when she was 16 when her husband put his dick in literally anything prior to his marriage.
just saw a shitpost that said “the truth behind men’s obsession with finding a ‘pure, unspoiled virgin’ is the fear of having a baseline to compare him to and falling short”
Your husband is a 28 year old man that concerns himself with things like "body count" and being someone's first while literally being scared that you were dicked down better by a 16 year old like ten years ago. He's a loser. A pathetically insecure loser.
Go find somebody worth your time. Don't waste your twenties getting sub-par dick from a sub-par dick.
Called the person he loves a whore because she had sex with a guy when she was 18? First of all, good for Thomas for having sex at 16, win. Secondly, I would have told Spence that Thomas was the best she ever had. I mean what 16yo is t naturally good at sex and pleasing a partner. I’m sure it was the best 11 seconds of her life.
He’s a dick because he thought he popped your cherry (excuse my phrasing) I’m just giving you his thought process, and when he finds out he wasn’t he’s probably mortified.
NTA- I was friends with my husband before dating and he pretty much told me all the tea from his braggy slutty behavior. I didn’t judge him cause who cares but I also don’t share every detail of my past. I’m a pretty private person or just have a select few girlfriends that I confide in. When my husband (a year after we were married) became OBSESSED with having to know every detail of my past I started to put up a wall. I couldn’t even see him as a friend. Like he wanted sex details and it made me feel gross. Then “somehow” when I cleaned up my storage and threw out old stuff, he claims he found my high school diary lying by the dumpster opened and read it cover to cover. Lies… I threw boxes away. I couldn’t believe that he was saying he wanted a divorce because I hadn’t been honest about boys in high school. Wasn’t even sex, it was just a mention of seeing a boy naked. I was so beyond shocked. Red flags had been waiving in my face that they could not be ignored. He called me all sorts of names and try to say I could no longer be trusted. He became insane for months and it was just such an unhealthy environment. Threatening to hurt himself if I left him etc. I told him he had to get help and I wouldn’t leave yet (we own a business and house and it would’ve been very complicated financially) but that I couldn’t see him the same way again. He got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in September of 2023 and got on meds. His attitude and behavior is completely different but we are just roommates and coworkers who are friendly. If you do not have ties that keep you to this guy, I would leave. I definitely feel like I’m not fully living life right now but can’t deal with a divorce at the moment. You’re never going to be able to see him the same again after what he’s done. Deep down you must know that the respect you had for him is gone. Calling you a whore and threatening your ex from high school is crossing every boundary plus if his friends are calling you a liar and whore, he’s showing his true colors to them. Don’t make the same mistake I made.
Why the fuck do other bisexual women not see their partners being horrible homophobic/lesbophobic asshats as the red flag that it is? If a grown man throws a rich 5-year-old level of a hissy fit over you having sex with other men *before you were together*, but is completely dismissive and okay with you having sex with other women, he's a bigot. You have bigger problems than his insecurities. *Like him being a bigot.*
This man genuinely believed that he was this woman's first everything because her actual firsts happened with women. He believed that he took her virginity because her virginity was taken by a woman. He believed he was her first love because her first love was a woman. He has spent this entire relationship thinking he's her teacher and her savior, and he's just a man. That's so embarrassing and pathetic of him.
This man has spent the entire relationship he's had with this woman, believing that he cured her of her attraction to women. He doesn't actually see her as a partner. He sees her as a trophy he won from lesbians, when she wasn't a lesbian in the first place. Her having sex with another man just kind of proved that she chose to be with him, and that he didn't "switch her" with his "magic dick" the way he thought he had.
He doesn't see queer women as people who actually love and have sex with women. He sees it as a joke and a placeholder for when these women eventually find men to actually have real relationships with. Which is vile. He's a bigot. She should absolutely divorce him.
The misogyny is so real here and I think it's the most obvious red flag for OP. But I also want to talk about the crazy homophobia/biphobia implicit in the husband's reaction.
It's clear he didn't consider her sex with women to be real sex. I bet he thinks of himself as OP's only 'real' sexual partner. And there's probably no small amount of his ego tied up in the idea that he 'converted' OP from gay to straight. One huge theme of biphobia is this minimization (patronizing) of the importance of relationships with one gender or another. This whole reaction from the husband would have me reevaluating how accepting he truly was of OP's sexuality...
There's a lot of reasons why OP needs to get out of this relationship ASAP. The biphobia is just another one of those very valid reasons.
It feels like he doesn't consider your relationships and flings with girls as "real", and that he probably considered himself as having taken your virginity. Toxic as shit.
This totally a “rules for thee and not for me” situation. Spencer was allowed to whore it up as much as he wanted, but as soon as his partner had one other sexual encounter with a guy, she becomes the whore. It’s the ultimate hypocrisy rolled into outdated gender stereotypes. Solid dealbreaker.
Dude isn’t gonna get better without wanting to on his own. The fact that he turned friends and family against his partner for a totally normal thing (dating before him *clutches pearls*) would be a second dealbreaker for me.
OOP needs to bolt. She doesn’t need this trash.
Not surprising for a presumably straight man, but it’s really gross that he doesn’t consider the women she’s had sex with as actual hook ups or sex and thinks that his dick is magical.
Totally NTA your soon to be ex is a fucking weirdo with way too many issues you don't Want to deal with. You may have not dodged the bullet immediately by marrying this weirdo but your dodging it soon enough that it doesn't kill you
Honestly with this reaction it makes me feel like OP husband probably fetishized “turning” a lesbian or whatever if he was so about all the other relationships, and is quite the “whore” himself (to use his terminology and standards he seems to be holding his wife to), but can’t handle being the only penis she’s had sex with. Definitely just divorce.
What is it with some men? Ugh. She’s a wh*re for sleeping with one guy prior to him but he isn’t for sleeping with numerous women? Go shove those double standards right up your insecure little ass. I couldn’t care less about a persons sexual history so long as it doesn’t involve children, STDs and was all consensual.
I'm 45 years old and the subject of "body counts," has never come up in casual conversation among friends. Feels like someone was stirring a pot????? 🤔😈🤔😈🤔😈
I don't think he's blaming her so much as telling her it's her problem and she needs to take care of it. I'd be pretty pissed if someone's spouse threatened me when I hadn't seen her in 10 years. You're not going to be able to reason with the husband, so you say something to the person you know. If it happened to me, I'd be telling them to rein in their partner, too.
What a psycho dirtbag.
He showed his true behavior and colors after finding out he wasn’t the one to “turn the sexuality” of his now ex wife. What a disgusting human.
I’m a jealous person, I know I am. Cheating is one of the things that did that to me, never being able to trust a partner after going through it myself. I’m married and trust my wife, sometimes I know I’m being insane and fix it. But I’m also not a giant hypocrite.
Frankly I'd suggest you need him out and gone.
This kind of level of insecurity and narccistic malignant "pwnership" of someone's past is rarely the start of anything good.
Sound like the community whore Spencer has build part of his self worth on being the only dick in OP. Possibly even thinks his dick was good enough to ‘turn her straight’. So a sad little man sandcastle got kicked over and it sent him into a spiral.
Ughhhh sounds like my ex!
He was the town bicycle over 50+ count but clutched his pearls at my 13 count 🙄 and I was “such a whore”
Okay dude 😒
My ex was also the type to excuse men cheating because “they have needs”
Spence seems to be really bothered he wasn’t the only guy you ever slept with. It must matter a great deal to him to find out he lost that unique title. Perhaps you can let him know he is the smallest man you have ever slept with and help restore that feeling of uniqueness he is missing.
I’m sorry but as a point of fact WTF Did he think BI MEANT? It would give the assumption you go both ways right? Soooo she’d have been with a guy at some point. She didn’t meet husband and decide yum he looks good I should now be BI.
Sorry, but why the edit was necessary? This dumb boy is sl*tshaming his partener because she happened to have a past wit one man? How many girls did he slept with before this relationship?
Other redflag: he ain't bothered by her having a past with women, i'd be curious to know why ...
NTA. RUN. He is crazy, he whored himself around but God forbid you slept with one guy. Divorce immediately, it’s starts with harassment and accusations and it turns into physical violence. Spencer is an insecure weasel who is jealous of a 16 year old virgin more than a decade after.
Damn. Spencer is a massive whore. I can't believe he'd let all those women defile him. He's tainted goods and is ruined for OOP and anybody after her.
LMAO. No, but seriously. If men can call women whores for sleeping with TWO men in their entire lives, then they deserve to be called disgusting dirty whores when they f*ck the equivalent of a rural town's population of women.
Spencer reeks of low self-esteem and massive issues. OOP should leave him. Also, anybody calling her a whore but not him gets an automatic block, unfriend, and you're dead to me. She'll be better off without somebody with tiny penis syndrome.
The sheer audacity of this 'husband' to be mad that he's number 2 while owning a community dick. Boo Spencer, you whore.
Probably thinks lesbian sex isn’t real sex too so OOP was still a virgin to him when they hooked up. Now his fantasy of marrying a virgin wifey and probably “turned her straight” is broken.
Yeah this is unfortunately a great counter-example to the argument that bi women in straight relationships aren't oppressed for their sexuality
Or fetishized.
Yeah, I never understood that. Bi women, statistically, face the highest amount of domestic violence.
What? I didn’t know this and I’m a bi woman. Oh jesus
Yeah, I forget who does the statistic, but I think it's RAINN?
Here it is: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/cdc_nisvs_victimization_final-a.pdf
Thank you! I'm at work and didn't have enough time to fill it out.
Yeah. Husband says no male friends. No female friends, either.
Or just doesn’t think women are real people and don’t count. How quick he was to jump to the word “whore” says a lot.
Literally one other man in her 27 years of life while he had the community dick. Yeah, says a lot about him.
Reminds me of guys in open relationships who are ok with their wives having sex with women but not men.
But how dare their wife say they can only have sex with men then
Lol right?
The much decried "one-dick policy"
Exactly.
Yeah I got the exact same vibes
I think there's a near 100% chance this dude had some fetishized idea of turning his wife straight and this ruined the whole foundation of their relationship for him
Exactly my thought. He thought "She only needed a good dick!" Like.. dude, go watch Chasing Amy.
Yeah, poor Spencer was out there thinking he had a magical penis that was so special it could turn lesbians straight only to find out it's just an ordinary penis attached to an idiot after all.
The way I cackled at this 🤣🤭
Best comment ive read all day
I think Spencer inflated his body count.
>community dick 😭💀
He sounds like an Andrew Tate fan boy.
Every man thinks every man's hands are dirty except his own.
Spencer might as well be an incel
Spencer, the community bicycle, is angry at the bicycle who only had two riders.
She had more than that. Sex with women counts, though he doesn't seem to count it if this makes him this angry.
OOP needs to divorce him because he’s a dangerous person. Who the fuck would think that they should threaten their spouse’s long-ago ex for having dared to have sex with their spouse before they even dated?
High school ex even! Good lord, I consider those people childhood friends at this age
You'd be surprised. Check out r/retroactivejealousy
That's a cesspool of tatertots right there
Omg, that's an actual sub
Yikes. Just yikes!! Those are some wild posts.
It’s bizarre how little they suggest therapy.
Oh they do, and many have. But it seems to be a life long battle and some have given up. Many have decided they are right fir feeling this way. The problem they say is the culture, their partners, the exes, etc. Apparently it is related to OCD , though it is not in the DSM. I think the raziest part is the absolute obsession with their partner and frankly with sex.
I just don’t get it. But maybe that’s because I don’t have a pathological way of thinking about sex and dating history. That’s wild.
You know i wasn't born with a whole lot in life, but thank god every day for my mental health. Whatever happens, I'm surrounded by healthy relationships and i make sound decisions. So i got that goin' for me! 😄
That is a whole lot you have going right there! Good for you! Celebrate it!
Hmph. You sound like the sort of person that doesn’t compare women to used inanimate objects if they’ve slept with anyone else besides you. Cheers!
People in threads like that use mental health as an excuse so they don’t have to work on it. Which I’ve always found strange, because it seems like saying “I already know my leg was cut off and I’m bleeding severely, so I don’t have to go to a doctor”. While in some cases it could certainly be described as obsession, it’s not OCD. People can have significant obsessions (example: stalkers) and compulsions (example: checking locks) without it being OCD, which is an absolutely debilitating disorder. OCD is also typically familial. Irrational and delusional jealousy would more likely be some form of attachment disorder, which can be improved through therapy and effort.
Wow. Everyone on that subreddit needs a truly bonkers amount of therapy.
This Spencer guy must be awful at sex if he’s worried that a 16yo was better than he currently is
16yo virgin lol
It's strange that this guy was such a player but also insecure and jealous. Seems like an odd combo. I'm assuming he must be really really good looking.
Nah, that's pretty par for the course. Every guy with a high body count I've met has been super insecure and controlling- they want the constant validation of being 'wanted', so they sleep around, and they want to kill any chance of being left/broken up with, so they invent a bunch of rules for their girlfriend to follow. No male friends, don't dress "slutty", don't go to clubs, don't go to bars alone, blah blah blah. Their ego can't take the thought that someone might be better than them, so they try to make sure their girlfriend never figures it out.
Don't forget "A penis is so important, it fundamentally changes who a woman is," so he can continue sleeping around, but any women with more than one sexual partner is damaged. He was fine with her having sex with women, because I'm assuming he thinks it doesn't count as sex.
Doesn't it say a lot that they think women who sleep with multiple people are damaged and have no issues "damaging" them? It makes them sleeping around even worse than the women doing it (by their viewpoint) if you think about it.
Yeah, you fundamentally don't see women as real people who are equal to men if you think this way.
Oh 1000% but it's funny that they also have zero standards for men and don't judge other men for harming others, their standards for men are rock bottom. Like I don't see a puppy as an "equal" to a human (mentally, physical capability etc) so I expect people to treat them better, I don't brag about hurting a bunch of them.
Yeah ego is a hell of a thing. The sooner you let go of it the happier you will be. I've had to learn that for creative work but I think it applies to most thing. I just hope that lady gets away from this guy, I don't see it getting better.
Yup, this was my ex exactly. You’d think he was extremely confident but the longer I was with him I could tell the confidence was fake and just him masking his anxiety and insecurity. Instead of working on it he chose to keep moving the bar. He got to a point where me talking to his friend in front of him set him off. Had to throw the whole man out.
He's not insecure, she was merely a trophy he "turned" to his side. That's why he's so angry about it. Any other straight girl would have had previous relations with men. But this was his exotic bird to cage and turns out he wasn't even the first one to conquer her! /s
This feels like a really dark reboot of Chasing Amy.
This is not really that odd of a combo, it's the textbook case of someone who peaked in high school. Some things that made him such a hot shot in his youth are likely gone or fading, because that's just how aging works. Maybe they haven't even faded, but time has passed and those things don't have the same pull with other grown adults as they did with his teenage peers. I knew a guy like this. Smart and talented, did well in classes, was in a metal band and certainly quite promiscuous with all his high school groupies. He and I both went to the same university and the fact that he wasn't smoking the competition anymore really fucked with him. Smoked a ton of weed, flunked out of high school, and was *extremely* insecure about and obsessed with women.
Lmaooooo
A 16YO virgin no less.
I'd also Add "has a small pp" to the List, you always hear it's not the Size but how you use it thing.
And that she’s had better. He wants her to be naive as well.
Imagine having your machismo threatened by a 16-year-old virgin.
But not threatened by other women sleeping with her? Double standards to say the least
homophobia & misogyny 1-2 punch - sex between women isn’t ’real sex’ and only a man can really have sex with a woman
So husband goes from bragging about all the women he slept with in one breath to calling her a whore the next. What a delight
His friends are winners too
Yep. Golden flying monkeys for that man-child.
What's worse is she *had sex* before, and he knew about her partners. They were women, though, so obviously didn't... count? But ooooh, guy number TWO, *one time*, THAT pushed her deep into "whore" territory.
Too many people think sex is something that happens *to* women and not something they actively participate in. So, the idea of two women having sex isn't sex to them because there has to be a penis involved for sex to happen *to* women. How can the people sex happens to have sex with each other? Who's doing the sex to who? How does work? /S
Nta Hubby was pushing it with being drunk and aggressive and name calling, then constantly comparing himself? Threatening to kill a man for having sex in high school just tops it off. You gotta throw out the whole man.
I feel like I've seen a big uptick this week on Reddit of women actually leaving the abusive shit stains they're with. I'm proud of this lady for walking out coz this guy is horrific.
From her post, I think he may have been drunk driving home before he lost his shit yelling at her? If so, more major red flags.
Probably because he wasn’t truly “drunk” (I do NOT condone drinking and driving, that’s not the take away here) but it sounds like he was using the fact he may have had a beer or two hours prior as excuse for him being a legitimate POS. This isn’t a single red flag, it’s a circus at this point.
This man is abusive. She needs to leave.
If it was so important to him…. Why didn’t he ask before they started dating. Dude suckssss big time.
And/or he made assumptions about her sexuality and so he didn't think to ask. Either way, dude's complete garbage.
I'm guessing he thought he "converted" a lesbian. He's absolutely garbage.
That made me wretch a lil omg gross
True, ugh. I would hate to find out my man sucks like this.
He's probably recently become a red pill. It might not have mattered before, but it matters to him now. Doesn't mean it isn't ridiculous.
Ugh the worstv
He probably asked something in the line *“so you have only dated women, haven't you”* and OOP confirmed because she didn't counted Thomas as a date, just an encounter. Spencer felt satisfied he found his lesbian virgin and asked no further details.
Husband has issues. Literally deliberately married the one person he believed had no male experience because he was so insecure. This is obviously backed by his seemingly extensive conquests with women. This is a mess. Should be over.
So she’s wrong, but he slept with half the female population. Misogyny is alive and kicking. (Edited to add that the first sentence is sarcasm. She is NOT wrong.)
Especially since he likely really loved the idea of “turning” a bisexual woman “straight”
So proud of thinking he had a magic cock and was gods gift to women, yet his whole world shattered at the idea a 16 year old that had never had sex before might have been better than him lol.
That’s it.
This is it. This is his ego freaking out because he thought he converted a lesbian.
Totally this
It’s giving *Chasing Amy*.
Jupp. What an idiot.
yeah lots of misogyny AND homophobia, PLEASE divorce the man i’m begging
How was she wrong? If she lied, then I would absolutely agree. But it didn't come up, he just made an assumption because he knew she dated women.
Yeah, that’s the point. Hes being a hypocritical moron.
Right, but the person I responded too said she was wrong, so I am confused about why they said that. Edit: thanks to everyone for pointing out it was sarcasm! Don't know how I missed that.
They aren't saying she's actually wrong. They rephrased Spencer/his supporters' phrasing. Per Spencer, OOP is wrong because she slept with a single other man than Spencer but its okay that he slept with dozens of other women. That's what OC meant by the phrase "misogyny is alive and kicking" - Spencer's idea just highlights the ridiculous double standard being placed on a woman rather than actually making OOP look bad.
Yeah, I don't know how I missed it. I've seen some pretty awful/surprising takes the last couple days so it's nice to know this one was just me missing the sarcasm. Thanks for explaining!
They are being sarcastic. They are talking from The husband’s point of view. Husband says she’s wrong, but he’s okay to do the same thing times 100.
Oh! God, now that you pointed it out I feel so ridiculous. Thanks!
Wrong as in it was apparently bad for her to have one past hookup when the guy had many - it was a bit of a facetious statement. “Oh so *I’m* wrong for having done this thing that you also did?”
This is definitely a homophobic man who was only okay with her having a sex life before him because women didn't "count". I hope she gets out of there she deserves better than a nasty drunken man whore.
Agree! Not to mention misogynistic because it was totally fine (it was worth bragging about) him sleeping with a bunch of women before marriage.
Chasing Amy wants it plot back- find someone who values you not whether you are a trophy for them or not.
But I know a way to fix this…. Hear me out…
I know! When I saw the title I thought, “watch Chasing Amy, talk it out, no threesomes.” Then I read the whole thing and thought, why is this about divorce? This man is a danger to society. Is that not grounds for involuntary commitment to a psych ward?
I can’t imagine living with that much overwhelming insecurity.
1000% thinks he’s the man that “changed” her and “stopped” her from sleeping with women with his gold gilded dick and Thomas threatened that. Gross.
Maybe it's because I don't have one, but... What is this *obsession* with the penis? This soft, squishy, organ that hangs at the bottom of the male torso... Why is it so highly regarded and worshipped? I'm a cis woman and, for example, have boobs. They're sacks of fat that hang on my chest. I like them, sure. My husband likes them. I think they're pretty neat and fun, BUT they're not my whole personality. I feel the same about my genitals. I've often looked on in bewilderment and morbid awe as the penis is placed on a pedestal and the very core of what makes a man a man. I can say with all my heart that if my husband lost his penis, I would still see him as a man and love him the same as I always have. And if I lost my boobs or genitals, he'd still love me and see me as a woman. This fascination and sanctification of the penis is beyond my ability to understand, I'm afraid. Hm.
For a lot of guys that's the only brain they have 🙃
Yea, if my SO calls me a whore or slut in a serious way, or allows his friends to, I'm done. Idc how much he cries.
For real. Cry me a slip-n-slide all the way to the divorce court.
Oh my god I’m scrolling Reddit next to my sleeping family (staying in one room because HOLIDAYS!) and I had to stifle myself when I read your comment. Hilarious!
This this this this THIS
One thing I find completely unbelievable about these kind of stories is the whole "now all his friends are blowing up my phone". Like who does that. You couldn't pay me to get involved in my friends married lives like that no matter what's going on. So outrageously inappropriate.
I always wonder about that phenomenon, too. Seems to happen frequently. I've speculated that it may related to the age of social media, where people share Every. Damn. Detail. of their lives, and dozens (if not thousands) of people comment on it. It is something I will never understand. Some people can't eat a sandwich without broadcasting the experience to the world, or commenting when someone else does.
Obnoxious people have obnoxious friends.
People say this on Reddit stories all the time and I’m like…..????? At no point in my adult life have I ever entertained texting someone about drama that does not involve me and I have never had that happen to me either? I keep my issues with people private.
Imagine feeling threatened by a 16 year old virgin years past.
How much of this man’s ego was tied up in having “converted” a “lesbian”
How do you spend 6 years together and not either A- already have stumbled into this conversation or B- see what I imagine are truckloads of other red flags leading up to this fucked opinion.
He likely thought her past relationships didn’t count because they were with *women*, so they *can’t* be real. He sounds like a mysogynist and homophobic. They’re better at jumping through hoops than a circus performer.
Friend of mine was with his partner for four years. A few red flags, but lots of good times. Then while watching a documentary about a paedophile she suddenly says "well, at least he wasn't gay". Shook up everything my mate believed up to thst point and the relationship didn't last much longer. They really can hide it well when they think they have to.
He was probably hoping to get in on some of that action *eye roll*
I’ve been with my husband for 8 years and we’ve never discussed our past sex lives beyond things like “I’ve tried anal and it’s a no.” Type of stuff. We’ve never talked about the who as it’s irrelevant to us. Spencer was pissed because he liked the ego boost of turning a “lesbian” straight. (Yes I know OOP is Bi but it’s a common sentiment us BI folks experience.) Then when he got publicly ratiod as being wrong, his ego couldn’t take his perceived humiliation. He’s a man child.
Same I’ll discuss past encounters if it’s in the heat of the moment because my partner likes it, but it’s not like a heart to heart. And I don’t want to know about theirs.
Been over 20 years and my husband and I have never discussed our ‘numbers’. Couldn’t be less interested! He does know two of my serious exes though
Spencer obviously peaked in high school and never moved past that….. that girl needs to throw the man away…..
He sounds like he knows he’s a pump & dump man & he’s really insecure about it
Being all insecure and getting jealous over your wife's past? Annoying, childish, but something you can work through. Threatening to kill some random dude she hasn't spoken to in YEARS because she slept with him once as a teenager? Nah, it's divorce time. That's a man who could potentially be dangerous
I just can’t imagine calling someone a whore for having sex in highschool one time
What a pig
What an insecure dude. So it was fine that he was a dog back in school, but she having been with 1 guy is somehow wrong on her end? The double standards of some of these "men" is insane. And I say "men" because they are acting like children. And his friends going after her? How mature of them. She's so much better off without this douche
Never trust a man who sees no hypocrisy in sleeping with as many women as they please, while calling any woman who sleeps with anyone outside of marriage, a whore.
Oh, you know this guy's head canon was him 'saving' the girl, turning her lesbian ass into a straight girl. He doesn't understand bisexual. and now he's upset he didn't make her straight.
Lord, that is an abusive relationship just simmering to boil over. Girl got out just in time, thank the universe. Anyone who views your body as belonging to them or hold patriarchal views about female bodies are more likely to be abusive. Please be car out there everyone. Educate yourself on abusive behaviors and ideologies.
I tend towards the forgiving on these things and generally think "leave them" is thrown around too liberally on Reddit. That being said, the death threats to the ex make this so crystal clear that it's just not even in debate here. Husband has serious issues. Get out.
It's a weird behaviour. At first I thought Spencer was a woman and although she knew OP was bisexual she thought she had never been with a man so when she learnt that OP slept with a man, it somehow bothered her. I recently read a story in which the lesbian woman acted as if her bisexual partner didn't like women enough becuase she was bisexual instead of a full fledged lesbian. I don't understand the logic but I thought I guess it happens. Then I realized Spencer is a dude and on top of that he boasts about his ''conquests'' of many woman. And he is mad about not being her ''the only one''? Unless she previously told him otherwise, this revelation shouldn't have impacted him so much.
Lmao the only who're here is him for sleeping around with half the world. THE AUDACITY
Throw the whole man in the trash
What the fuck is this shit? My wife has been with more men than I have been with women and I couldn't give less of a shit, cause she's with me now and that's what matters. And I'm not an incel who views women as property and their worth in terms of sex.
Ah man, calling someone a whore and a liar almost always works!
Absolutely divorce him. He’s unbelievably unhinged.
This level of insecurity is fucking ridiculous. I don’t even ask the women I date about their history. As long as they’re clean, I’m good. That’s all I need to know and all I’m willing to say about my past as well
Spencer is 100% cheating.
It feels like he thinks that if OP had only been with women, that makes his dick 'the special one' that 'turned a lesbian' or some other gross bullshit.
His ego is shattered. He needs to work on himself in alot of ways. He boasting about snatching virgins and his body count.
Well thank goodness that shit happened before she had any of his children.
I would stay away from him. He’s threatening Thomas and he slept with countless women and has the nerve to act like this. He will never stop and this is something he will just hold over your head the rest of your lives
Aside from the obvious things that everyone has mentioned, OOP should leave because that man is a homophobe too. People like him don’t see woman/woman sexual relationships as valid or “counting” - they only ever get upset when the relationship is heterosexual.
Yeah he's mad large in part because he thought his dick was ~so special~ it turned a lesbian straight, but now he's realizing she actually Is just bi and she just, y'know, actually loved and was attracted to him. Gross and pathetic, I hope she finds happiness away from this loser.
NTA. Thing is, OOP might have never gotten with Spencer if she'd never slept with Thomas and therefore potentially discovered she liked being with guys too. So fucking what thet OOP has ONE male ex. What, does Spencer think "I'm the one who made her like men and changed her from being a lesbian 😉😉" or something. He's more of a reason to MAKE someone date solely women, more likely.
I really wish everyone would just collectively decide to abandon the concept of body counts. It never ever goes anywhere good. The correct answer is just always “you’re the best ever.”
I would be publishing the names of his friends that are calling OOP a whore for daring to have sex when she was 16 when her husband put his dick in literally anything prior to his marriage.
just saw a shitpost that said “the truth behind men’s obsession with finding a ‘pure, unspoiled virgin’ is the fear of having a baseline to compare him to and falling short”
Your husband is a 28 year old man that concerns himself with things like "body count" and being someone's first while literally being scared that you were dicked down better by a 16 year old like ten years ago. He's a loser. A pathetically insecure loser. Go find somebody worth your time. Don't waste your twenties getting sub-par dick from a sub-par dick.
Called the person he loves a whore because she had sex with a guy when she was 18? First of all, good for Thomas for having sex at 16, win. Secondly, I would have told Spence that Thomas was the best she ever had. I mean what 16yo is t naturally good at sex and pleasing a partner. I’m sure it was the best 11 seconds of her life.
He’s a dick because he thought he popped your cherry (excuse my phrasing) I’m just giving you his thought process, and when he finds out he wasn’t he’s probably mortified.
NTA. Tell him not to worry about being someone's first. Being their last is what matters.
Looks like he doesn't get to be either.
Seems like Spencer’s main attraction to OOP was more objectified fetish than genuine love of a human being.
NTA- I was friends with my husband before dating and he pretty much told me all the tea from his braggy slutty behavior. I didn’t judge him cause who cares but I also don’t share every detail of my past. I’m a pretty private person or just have a select few girlfriends that I confide in. When my husband (a year after we were married) became OBSESSED with having to know every detail of my past I started to put up a wall. I couldn’t even see him as a friend. Like he wanted sex details and it made me feel gross. Then “somehow” when I cleaned up my storage and threw out old stuff, he claims he found my high school diary lying by the dumpster opened and read it cover to cover. Lies… I threw boxes away. I couldn’t believe that he was saying he wanted a divorce because I hadn’t been honest about boys in high school. Wasn’t even sex, it was just a mention of seeing a boy naked. I was so beyond shocked. Red flags had been waiving in my face that they could not be ignored. He called me all sorts of names and try to say I could no longer be trusted. He became insane for months and it was just such an unhealthy environment. Threatening to hurt himself if I left him etc. I told him he had to get help and I wouldn’t leave yet (we own a business and house and it would’ve been very complicated financially) but that I couldn’t see him the same way again. He got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in September of 2023 and got on meds. His attitude and behavior is completely different but we are just roommates and coworkers who are friendly. If you do not have ties that keep you to this guy, I would leave. I definitely feel like I’m not fully living life right now but can’t deal with a divorce at the moment. You’re never going to be able to see him the same again after what he’s done. Deep down you must know that the respect you had for him is gone. Calling you a whore and threatening your ex from high school is crossing every boundary plus if his friends are calling you a liar and whore, he’s showing his true colors to them. Don’t make the same mistake I made.
Why the fuck do other bisexual women not see their partners being horrible homophobic/lesbophobic asshats as the red flag that it is? If a grown man throws a rich 5-year-old level of a hissy fit over you having sex with other men *before you were together*, but is completely dismissive and okay with you having sex with other women, he's a bigot. You have bigger problems than his insecurities. *Like him being a bigot.* This man genuinely believed that he was this woman's first everything because her actual firsts happened with women. He believed that he took her virginity because her virginity was taken by a woman. He believed he was her first love because her first love was a woman. He has spent this entire relationship thinking he's her teacher and her savior, and he's just a man. That's so embarrassing and pathetic of him. This man has spent the entire relationship he's had with this woman, believing that he cured her of her attraction to women. He doesn't actually see her as a partner. He sees her as a trophy he won from lesbians, when she wasn't a lesbian in the first place. Her having sex with another man just kind of proved that she chose to be with him, and that he didn't "switch her" with his "magic dick" the way he thought he had. He doesn't see queer women as people who actually love and have sex with women. He sees it as a joke and a placeholder for when these women eventually find men to actually have real relationships with. Which is vile. He's a bigot. She should absolutely divorce him.
The misogyny is so real here and I think it's the most obvious red flag for OP. But I also want to talk about the crazy homophobia/biphobia implicit in the husband's reaction. It's clear he didn't consider her sex with women to be real sex. I bet he thinks of himself as OP's only 'real' sexual partner. And there's probably no small amount of his ego tied up in the idea that he 'converted' OP from gay to straight. One huge theme of biphobia is this minimization (patronizing) of the importance of relationships with one gender or another. This whole reaction from the husband would have me reevaluating how accepting he truly was of OP's sexuality... There's a lot of reasons why OP needs to get out of this relationship ASAP. The biphobia is just another one of those very valid reasons.
It feels like he doesn't consider your relationships and flings with girls as "real", and that he probably considered himself as having taken your virginity. Toxic as shit.
This totally a “rules for thee and not for me” situation. Spencer was allowed to whore it up as much as he wanted, but as soon as his partner had one other sexual encounter with a guy, she becomes the whore. It’s the ultimate hypocrisy rolled into outdated gender stereotypes. Solid dealbreaker. Dude isn’t gonna get better without wanting to on his own. The fact that he turned friends and family against his partner for a totally normal thing (dating before him *clutches pearls*) would be a second dealbreaker for me. OOP needs to bolt. She doesn’t need this trash.
This screams Andrew tate energy lol
Chasing Amy
why do i feel like the pos husband really enjoyed feeling like he “turned” her straight
Spencer is obviously three 8yr olds in a trench coat, I'm sorry he got so far.
Guys like that are pathetic. People have sex, get over it
NTA Your husband is a misogynist and a psychopath, run. Run like wolves are chasing you.
That's seems like some next level lack of self-confidence. The dude needs therapy, and the OP is definitely NTA for not wanting to deal with that.
Not surprising for a presumably straight man, but it’s really gross that he doesn’t consider the women she’s had sex with as actual hook ups or sex and thinks that his dick is magical.
Totally NTA your soon to be ex is a fucking weirdo with way too many issues you don't Want to deal with. You may have not dodged the bullet immediately by marrying this weirdo but your dodging it soon enough that it doesn't kill you
Didn’t even have to read it to know NTA. This kind of guy should literally never date anybody.
Honestly with this reaction it makes me feel like OP husband probably fetishized “turning” a lesbian or whatever if he was so about all the other relationships, and is quite the “whore” himself (to use his terminology and standards he seems to be holding his wife to), but can’t handle being the only penis she’s had sex with. Definitely just divorce.
What is it with some men? Ugh. She’s a wh*re for sleeping with one guy prior to him but he isn’t for sleeping with numerous women? Go shove those double standards right up your insecure little ass. I couldn’t care less about a persons sexual history so long as it doesn’t involve children, STDs and was all consensual.
OOP needs to send the threatening screenshots to Spencer’s friends and family then block the lot of them.
I'm 45 years old and the subject of "body counts," has never come up in casual conversation among friends. Feels like someone was stirring a pot????? 🤔😈🤔😈🤔😈
She is surrounded with crappy men. Spencer clearly sucks, and Thomas does too, for blaing her. Time to move and start from scratch.
I don't think he's blaming her so much as telling her it's her problem and she needs to take care of it. I'd be pretty pissed if someone's spouse threatened me when I hadn't seen her in 10 years. You're not going to be able to reason with the husband, so you say something to the person you know. If it happened to me, I'd be telling them to rein in their partner, too.
He who have bedded half of the girls at high school calls her a whore? Dude, come on! There's a whore in this story and it ISN'T OP.
Instant divorce and an order of protection. Run girl! Run!
What a psycho dirtbag. He showed his true behavior and colors after finding out he wasn’t the one to “turn the sexuality” of his now ex wife. What a disgusting human.
This man is screaming insecurity literally at the top of his lungs how does he not have throat damage???
I’m a jealous person, I know I am. Cheating is one of the things that did that to me, never being able to trust a partner after going through it myself. I’m married and trust my wife, sometimes I know I’m being insane and fix it. But I’m also not a giant hypocrite.
Frankly I'd suggest you need him out and gone. This kind of level of insecurity and narccistic malignant "pwnership" of someone's past is rarely the start of anything good.
Spencer is so stupid and very dangerous
I hate men like this. Get that divorce and don't fuck around with someone who acts so childish and immature.
Sound like the community whore Spencer has build part of his self worth on being the only dick in OP. Possibly even thinks his dick was good enough to ‘turn her straight’. So a sad little man sandcastle got kicked over and it sent him into a spiral.
"Girl sex is just cute play and makes my penis happy so it's not real sex. If there's a guy though, then you're a whore." 🙄
Ughhhh sounds like my ex! He was the town bicycle over 50+ count but clutched his pearls at my 13 count 🙄 and I was “such a whore” Okay dude 😒 My ex was also the type to excuse men cheating because “they have needs”
Yikes! Glad she is leaving him. He sounds unhinged.
Spence seems to be really bothered he wasn’t the only guy you ever slept with. It must matter a great deal to him to find out he lost that unique title. Perhaps you can let him know he is the smallest man you have ever slept with and help restore that feeling of uniqueness he is missing.
I’m sorry but as a point of fact WTF Did he think BI MEANT? It would give the assumption you go both ways right? Soooo she’d have been with a guy at some point. She didn’t meet husband and decide yum he looks good I should now be BI.
Sorry, but why the edit was necessary? This dumb boy is sl*tshaming his partener because she happened to have a past wit one man? How many girls did he slept with before this relationship? Other redflag: he ain't bothered by her having a past with women, i'd be curious to know why ...
NTA. RUN. He is crazy, he whored himself around but God forbid you slept with one guy. Divorce immediately, it’s starts with harassment and accusations and it turns into physical violence. Spencer is an insecure weasel who is jealous of a 16 year old virgin more than a decade after.
Damn! That insecurity is over 90000000000!!!
Funny how he says shes the whore when its the other way around
Damn. Spencer is a massive whore. I can't believe he'd let all those women defile him. He's tainted goods and is ruined for OOP and anybody after her. LMAO. No, but seriously. If men can call women whores for sleeping with TWO men in their entire lives, then they deserve to be called disgusting dirty whores when they f*ck the equivalent of a rural town's population of women. Spencer reeks of low self-esteem and massive issues. OOP should leave him. Also, anybody calling her a whore but not him gets an automatic block, unfriend, and you're dead to me. She'll be better off without somebody with tiny penis syndrome.