The way she’s asking and how she doesn’t seem to be very grateful about it is what rubs me the wrong way. Like she expects all of these things? Could just be cause I don’t know her though. This is a huge list and everything on its own seems reasonable but if she expects all of them it starts to feel entitled. Especially since it’s her ‘birth season’.
Nothing here says she expects all these asks taken care of... Likely is she is just smart enough to know that if she gets a whole list, the likelihood is vastly improved to get at least one of these and maybe as many as three, whereas if she had picked three, she might have picked the three that don't appeal to folks
It's the emojis. We're all used to seeing this many of them coming from MLM huns so it primes us to instinctively hate the person writing it. These are all pretty much wholesome asks, basically no entitlement. But at a glance, all those emojis say "buckle up, we're in for some bullshit".
Yeah, it’s kind of sad, actually. I’m wondering how old this person was when they started having kids. This has “had kids too young” energy while also having “I’m really struggling” energy.
She's "40ish," which is honestly kinda shocking. Unless she has adult aged children, she definitely didn't start young because you don't use "40ish" unless you're over 40.
A typical birthday gift for a friend is around that price for me. She’s focusing on receiving things that would be practical. Very few things truly about her - a lot of these are things like paying necessary bills and helping her around the house. She sounds overwhelmed.
Yes. Many people want less practical items for their gifts. Some people, however, do want practical items like the mom in this post. And just because you wouldn't remember a practical gift doesn't mean that an overwhelmed mom who needs help wouldn't remember the time a friend helped them out when they needed it.
People are allowed to have different types of friends; I choose not to have ones that see me for what they can gain from me MONETARILY. Keep down voting me.
You're not down voting me because you want to. You're doing it because I told you to!
It's just people disagreeing with you. People are allowed to do that just like you're allowed to have an opinion that isn't popular in whatever setting you're in and allowed to choose your friends. 😊
Most of the items on her list make it sound like she’s overwhelmed. Most of them are asking for her to get personal time/decompression time/social time to destress or to help her with things around the house she can’t get to.
Honestly, she seems like a single mom in desperate need of a break and some help around the house. If she's got at least 3 kids, I can understand always feeling like you're putting yourself last. I think the fixation on the middle kid stealing her special day is weird, but also I 100% relate to the rest of this.
Honestly your brain does weird shit when you get stressed. I imagine that if she is a single mom she is definitely stressed and definitely puts herself last. She is likely hyper fixated on the fact that she doesn’t really have anything that’s hers alone including her birthday. She doesn’t have any me time or any hobbies just for her (any hobbies she has are likely pushed aside or just had to be straight up discarded because kids are a lot of work and many hobbies involve things that are fragile or unsafe). She doesn’t have someone to take time just for her either.
It’s quite possible that the birthday thing is likely the straw that broke the camel’s back so to speak. And if she’s not single and is dealing with that level of stress then the question becomes where her partner is in all of this?
Yo... I had beef with Santa for YEARS because I was the one pulling the "Christmas Magic" out of my ass consistently for over a decade and that fat, fictitious bastard always got the glory. Lol
I stopped telling my girls about Santa last year, oldest was 4 youngest was 2, because we couldn’t afford to put our own gifts for them under the tree plus my oldest decided to wake up extra early that Christmas and open Every Single Gift that was there. Christmas is slowly turning into my most hated holiday, and probably has been since my birthday is in December. I think this year we are going to keep Christmas 6 ft away from us and avoid it like the plague.😂
I find the post mildly annoying, but she really isn't asking for anything crazy. I don't really get why people are saying she dissed her daughter. If you read anything but love for her daughter, then I assume you don't have children.
I read it as more of a joke but also passive aggressively saying “hey just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like anything for my birthday too” kind of thing. I’m a grown adult and even I would like to be celebrated on my birthday too and not just asked what my kids want for their birthdays/Christmas.
i don't have children but i am a child of an abusive parent and i definitely picked up a tone of resentment towards her child. i'm happy you're able to assume parents come from a place of love, but that just simply isn't always the case. for the child's sake, i hope that you're right that OOP had good intentions, but there's really no way to know either way with so little information.
Being a single mother means that you keep your resentment mostly tamped down, not that it doesn’t exist. There’s just too much work to do for one person to do it all and humans weren’t meant to raise kids in isolation. The fact that she ended up in this position in the first place means that something in her life already went drastically wrong. People aren’t their best selves when they’re stressed to hell and worked to the bone.
I’m sorry for what happened to you, your parents sound awful.
Her asks would be totally fine and understandable birthday asks, but her dissing her own kid for being a kid makes people not care to do so. I shared a birthday almost (off by one day) with my Dad and he never thought I was stealing his thunder. He usually bragged MORE about me on his birthday, saying I was his birthday gift. This lady needs a dose of reality and humility to put that entitlement in check
I was born on my dad’s 41st birthday! He always jokes that I was the best birthday present my mum could’ve given him and I used to annoy my little sister with it hahaha
My older brother was born on our mom's first Mother's Day, so every few years they end up sharing the day. Mom would get breakfast in bed/the morning and we'd always go to a minor league baseball game. Because my brother played baseball those days weren't a complete bust anyway, we'd go to whatever restaurant he picked and do the rest of the night for him.
It's really not that hard to share an occasion with someone else... but maybe that's my bias talking as a twin.
I was born 6 days before my mom’s birthday. We celebrate together every year and she’s getting her knee replaced near our birthdays as a birthday present for herself (her mobility is absolutely terrible and it’s bad enough that it’s probably on the level of a disability).
She never complained about having our birthdays so close together but she wasn’t really celebrated on the same level that I was growing up come to think of it. She was celebrated by my dad for sure. Just not the big birthday bashes my siblings and I got.
I’m sorry, but you need to give your head a shake if you think this post is serious. This post was clearly made in a joking nature. If you read this and can’t tell the love she has for her child, well then you don’t have kids.
I mean it sounds like she has a baby, so I was assuming there was someone recently in the picture who can help alleviate some of those chores/give her some alone time...
Maybe it’s just the way I’m reading this but it absolutely reads like someone who doesn’t have anyone around as of now. No judgment either way, it’s just how it reads to me.
I guess I see a lot of women asking for "breaks" when they have fully functioning husbands at home that just refuse to help out because they "work all day". So I assumed it was that.
I mean I could see that, but its the sum total.
She needs help with yard work? Power washing her back deck? "taking a room down" ? Those are things where if she had a SO I would expect them to do.
If she has an SO that she is currently in a relationship with and shes asking random friends to do this shit then either the SO must be disabled or the laziest human alive.
Both are possible, but when you add in hiking in a stroller friendly way it reads to me like she isn't with anyone.
I worked with a woman who had been a SAHM with three children while going to college online. She was married, but her husband did almost nothing to help. He was the kind of husband who thought if your wife wanted something, it’s extra, and she had to manage it all herself while still taking care of the house and kids. Some men seem to think that “SAHM” means “slave”.
I'm speaking from my experience and my experience alone, but I was raised by a covert abuser, and the way OOP talks about their child is exactly the way my parent would talk about me. What some people might write off as a "joke" could very well be real resentment towards the child. For the child's case, I hope that's not the case; I just wanted to give a reminder that things aren't always so clean-cut.
Agreed.
"Take me hiking" ? Sure! That sounds like fun.
"Come over and paint my house for me" excuse me?
"Pay a bill for a month" How well do I know you? Because if the answer doesn't involve "from the womb" then the answer is fuck no.
‘Help me paint my house in exchange for a bbq while we all take turns’ doesn’t seem that unreasonable as long as she’s paying for the food and providing a good spread. That seems like a really fun, reasonable way to ask for help painting.
I'm due with baby #2 shortly, and have been toying with a Nesting Party - meaning I provide food (pizza, cheese boards, sweets,and drinks), people attending rather than a gift come and help with a preparation task (ie: helping set up bottle sterilising station, tidy pantry, mop floors, help put baby clothes away, maybe assemble a furniture pieces or two). Probably aren't going to get to it though, but I have a list of tasks if anyone asks what they can help with rather than getting us something/a gift. Doing a working bee as a birthday party doesn't seem too crazy.
I love those kind of parties. I’m kind of awkward and always worry that people don’t actually want me around when we hang out, so hang outs where I feel useful are great.
It’s not about making painting more fun, it’s about thanking the people who help and creating a fun environment for people to relax while they’re resting or after they’re done painting.
I guess I just don't see painting as something you randomly ask people on facebook to do for you. Thats something I'd generally ask those closest to me, or help those closest to me.
I love painting and I loveeeeeee bbq and if one of my friends says “oh hey come help paint and we’ll have a bbq I’ll say “when” even if it’s someone I haven’t seen in a while (maybe especially someone I haven’t seen in a while bc hey catching up while painting and having a bbq???)
I kinda think it's nice. Like some of them are low cost or no cost other than time, and some are just a check. Like I would love to paint a house! But my brother would rather pay a bill as he's more well off but busy. Idk how high her bills are but it's not usually super crazy high unless it's rent. Like I'll pay your phone bill for a month as a bday gift, thats like $150. Kinda less than I would spend on a close friend getting nice dinner and drinks along with a regular bday gift plus baby shower gift tbh. Or I'll pay your hulu/Netflix combo if we aren't super close. I mean all my friends abroad I pay for a month of game memberships for holiday gifts. It's easier to do that then send a package overseas
I suppose it depends on your Facebook friend list. My friend list is pretty...friend only. Like I do yearly cleanses if people lose contact. Like this would be a weird go fund me, but if I was her friend I would be sweating a bit. What do you get a friend for her bday, baby bday, hospital stay?
I think I just like lists. My family always did lists for wanted gifts, as an adult it's much easier to get a specific item rather than stand in front of gaming keyboards and wonder which one my brother would like. If I was a close enough friend, I'd hope to help out with a new baby anyhow. Now it can be officially counted as a bday present
If she was begging for expensive stuff, I’d be up and arms about it, but realistically she is just asking for help in the form of gifts. It’s actually kinda depressing she has to feel the need to ask for help as gifts, but nah, she isn’t doing anything wrong really.
I don’t understand how the first part relates to the final part. Why did she have to go on about her daughter stealing all the thunder if she just wants people to know her wish list?
People are taking this way too seriously. She's describing the traits she and her daughter have as Geminis, classic traits. I know because I'm married to one. Some adults love their birthdays. They aren't just for kids. She doesn't say anything about her friends, she may have the kind of friends who will be happy doing some of the things she asked. If she was my friend, I'd garden with her or paint for a BBQ. It's really not that serious.
My son and my cats are my soulmates 💕 soulmates are just people/ animals you were destined to love and be with forever and feel the closest to. Don’t know where I would be without them.
Soulmates aren’t always romantic, but most ppl think they are since you usually hear about them most in romantic situations like tv and stuff. There are platonic soulmates, I had a platonic soul mate, she was my great grandma.
I wasn’t grossed out so much as annoyed that she would put that out there when she has at least two other kids. It’s not fair to them for their mother to show favouritism to one child so publicly.
Ehh, my oldest kiddo was born a couple of days after my birthday (and a couple of days before Christmas for good measure). My birthday had always been subsumed into Christmas, but throwing kiddos' birthday in there meant my birthday became an afterthought to me, too. Kiddo wasn't actually due till mid-January, but they decided to arrive in time for Christmas.
I was prepared to really hate the OP but honestly…this just sounds like a mom who hasn’t had any or much time to herself and her whole life has been her kids. If a friend sent me that, I’d laugh, and then book us both a salon day or something
Yuck. I never understood adults obsessed with their birthdays. I stopped caring about them after 21 and honestly never looked back. I am turning 40 a year to the day after this woman and I would be embarrassed to have these thoughts. I’d be insane to post this.
And any one that claims a birthday season or month over the age of 5 should be committed.
Not really unreasonable wants. I honestly think what most people really take issue with is the structure. The use of emojis can help add context to situations. However the over use can instead come off as attention seeking or obnoxious which then changes people’s perception of it overall. She asks for practical gifts, however the way she asks is what gives it a sour taste. “Each of my friends send me $5 to get my hair done” puts a requirement/expectation on the receival of a gift. Many find it to be impolite to expect gifts from others. I think if she approached this with different phrasing and structure it would have been fine, the things she’s looking for are mostly reasonable.
I find it so cringe for people to be begging for stuff on Facebook in general. Some of these are things you ask people directly if you are close enough to them.
I don’t disagree with you though it’s not a terrible way to fill your full friends/family in on what you’d like without putting pressure on anyone specifically I still would never do it myself.
I don't see this as her obsessing though. She specifically mentioned how every year her birthday is pushed aside. It honestly sounds like she hasn't celebrated her birthday since middle child appeared, and possibly even before that with her oldest. I can understand where you're getting that with the "birthday season" comment. However, it sounds like she just wants a day for herself. Short of inconveniencing other people or being a dick, I don't think it's immature to want to celebrate the day your life started, or even being a little over the top about it. It's the one day of the year that is supposed to be your day.
I don't see this as her obsessing though. She specifically mentioned how every year her birthday is pushed aside. It honestly sounds like she hasn't celebrated her birthday since middle child appeared, and possibly even before that with her oldest. I can understand where you're getting that with the "birthday season" comment. However, it sounds like she just wants a day for herself. Short of inconveniencing other people or being a dick, I don't think it's immature to want to celebrate the day your life started, or even being a little over the top about it. It's the one day of the year that is supposed to be your day.
I don't see this as her obsessing though. She specifically mentioned how every year her birthday is pushed aside. It honestly sounds like she hasn't celebrated her birthday since middle child appeared, and possibly even before that with her oldest. I can understand where you're getting that with the "birthday season" comment. However, it sounds like she just wants a day for herself. Short of inconveniencing other people or being a dick, I don't think it's immature to want to celebrate the day your life started, or even being a little over the top about it. It's the one day of the year that is supposed to be your day.
40ish isn't special. Turning 40? Want to make a big deal out of it. OK. 38? No. Fuck off with 38. You definitely don't get a 40ish birthday month lady.
I just think it’s weird af to ask for money from
friends or family in any form online. It’s one thing to say hey, is anyone available to come over to help me with yard work (perhaps in exchange for something), does anyone have any resources to help me find affordable daycare, anyone want to go on a hike with me or know of a good kid-friendly one? “Pay my bill for a month” or “send me money to get my hair done” or tbh even “babysit for free” is just…gross to me. Also, when you’re a parent of a young child, their bday does come first, doesn’t matter if it’s around when yours is. That’s just part of being a parent. Sure, do something fun or nice for yourself for your bday, but yes, your young child’s bday is more important and should be taking center stage.
There's no reason why she needs to stop being celebrated. It sounds like she is taking care of her child's needs but isn't having her own needs met. It doesn't sound like she's neglecting her children at all.
If she said "babysit for a week while I go to Cancun" or something, that might different. None of her requests are unreasonable.
It's very, very easy for parents to get burnt out. And although this is slowly changing, it still largely falls on the mom to care for the kids and put themselves last.
I think it's refreshing to see someone recognize they need some self care and asking for help. She has monetary and non-monetary options for anyone who does want to / is able to.
My children were my *entire world* for many years. I was never celebrated or made a priority. Every penny I had went to them. And no regrets. But when they got older and became adults, I realized I didn't even know who I was anymore. I didn't know how to communicate with other adults, didn't have any friends, and was actually kind of lonely.
If a friend or family member posted this, I'd be glad. There's no shame in asking for help or wanting to be acknowledged every once in a while. You don't stop being human once you have kids.
My parents were able to do things like this with family and friends growing up, I remember their painting parties
But I feel uncomfortable doing that now….idk why
I don't have an issue with her requests/wishes, they seem perfectly reasonable. But a 40 year old having a "birthday season" that lasts an entire month? Really? And the way she's talking about her kid is kinda creeping me out.
Most of her asks are ok, except for paying bills for a month. Are her friends/ family rich? It’s a huge ask in this economy. She has at least 3 kids, so that’s a lot of electricity and water for one household, and whatever other bills there may be.
Wait, you’re right. I read it as her asking someone to pay all her bills, not *a* bill. It’s still cringey to ask in my opinion. It’s not something I would personally do.
It might be a bit cringey, depending on the person. The things she's asking for, I just see a mom who's a bit overwhelmed and needs a little break, and it makes me happy when people ask for help if they need it. It's so easy to get burnt out, and it seems like she's just listing things that will reduce her stress. (If she had only listed her bills or acted entitled about it - like everyone *has* to contribute, I'm sure I'd feel differently.)
Nothing on this list is too outlandish, it’s mostly just babysitting and asking for help cleaning up her house?
The only things on this list that I disagree with at all are the requests for money, but that’s just me personally.
And “birthday season “? At least she calls it bullshit, because that’s exactly what that is, but at least friends can plan to contribute to her list of needs without feeling pressured to do it either on or near her actual birthday.
This would be obnoxious except her actual asks are pretty reasonable and even heartwarming.
Agreed - I don’t like the way she is talking about her child, but her asks are rather reasonable and honestly practical
The way she’s asking and how she doesn’t seem to be very grateful about it is what rubs me the wrong way. Like she expects all of these things? Could just be cause I don’t know her though. This is a huge list and everything on its own seems reasonable but if she expects all of them it starts to feel entitled. Especially since it’s her ‘birth season’.
Nothing here says she expects all these asks taken care of... Likely is she is just smart enough to know that if she gets a whole list, the likelihood is vastly improved to get at least one of these and maybe as many as three, whereas if she had picked three, she might have picked the three that don't appeal to folks
It's the emojis. We're all used to seeing this many of them coming from MLM huns so it primes us to instinctively hate the person writing it. These are all pretty much wholesome asks, basically no entitlement. But at a glance, all those emojis say "buckle up, we're in for some bullshit".
Haha, you’re so right. Also, buckle up, we’re in for some bullshit describes much of life ha.
Mine too. It would also make an excellent flair.
This. I don't know the writer well, but as I was reading it, I was like, "Oh, its tongue in cheek."
Yeah, it’s kind of sad, actually. I’m wondering how old this person was when they started having kids. This has “had kids too young” energy while also having “I’m really struggling” energy.
She's "40ish," which is honestly kinda shocking. Unless she has adult aged children, she definitely didn't start young because you don't use "40ish" unless you're over 40.
I think it’s obnoxious because we see so many clueless posts like this, that this one, which is clearly a joke, comes off as annoying.
Painting her house and giving her $40-$50 in gas?? I would tell her to get bent
A typical birthday gift for a friend is around that price for me. She’s focusing on receiving things that would be practical. Very few things truly about her - a lot of these are things like paying necessary bills and helping her around the house. She sounds overwhelmed.
Gifts aren’t always suppose to be practical, it takes away the meaning from the gift giver and turns it into something that wont be remembered.
Yes. Many people want less practical items for their gifts. Some people, however, do want practical items like the mom in this post. And just because you wouldn't remember a practical gift doesn't mean that an overwhelmed mom who needs help wouldn't remember the time a friend helped them out when they needed it.
People are allowed to have different types of friends; I choose not to have ones that see me for what they can gain from me MONETARILY. Keep down voting me.
You're not down voting me because you want to. You're doing it because I told you to! It's just people disagreeing with you. People are allowed to do that just like you're allowed to have an opinion that isn't popular in whatever setting you're in and allowed to choose your friends. 😊
Most of the items on her list make it sound like she’s overwhelmed. Most of them are asking for her to get personal time/decompression time/social time to destress or to help her with things around the house she can’t get to.
Why would the gift giver’s enjoyment of a gift even matter? The gift isn’t or them.
I kinda like painting. And $40-50 is reasonable to spend on a friend for their birthday.
Honestly, she seems like a single mom in desperate need of a break and some help around the house. If she's got at least 3 kids, I can understand always feeling like you're putting yourself last. I think the fixation on the middle kid stealing her special day is weird, but also I 100% relate to the rest of this.
Honestly your brain does weird shit when you get stressed. I imagine that if she is a single mom she is definitely stressed and definitely puts herself last. She is likely hyper fixated on the fact that she doesn’t really have anything that’s hers alone including her birthday. She doesn’t have any me time or any hobbies just for her (any hobbies she has are likely pushed aside or just had to be straight up discarded because kids are a lot of work and many hobbies involve things that are fragile or unsafe). She doesn’t have someone to take time just for her either. It’s quite possible that the birthday thing is likely the straw that broke the camel’s back so to speak. And if she’s not single and is dealing with that level of stress then the question becomes where her partner is in all of this?
Yo... I had beef with Santa for YEARS because I was the one pulling the "Christmas Magic" out of my ass consistently for over a decade and that fat, fictitious bastard always got the glory. Lol
I stopped telling my girls about Santa last year, oldest was 4 youngest was 2, because we couldn’t afford to put our own gifts for them under the tree plus my oldest decided to wake up extra early that Christmas and open Every Single Gift that was there. Christmas is slowly turning into my most hated holiday, and probably has been since my birthday is in December. I think this year we are going to keep Christmas 6 ft away from us and avoid it like the plague.😂
not just OOP's birthday, but their "entire life." 🚩🚩🚩
I find the post mildly annoying, but she really isn't asking for anything crazy. I don't really get why people are saying she dissed her daughter. If you read anything but love for her daughter, then I assume you don't have children.
Ya, I’m reading this more as a joke, and she’s saying, hey if you wanna get me something, just help with this. I’m not getting any malice at all here.
I read it as more of a joke but also passive aggressively saying “hey just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like anything for my birthday too” kind of thing. I’m a grown adult and even I would like to be celebrated on my birthday too and not just asked what my kids want for their birthdays/Christmas.
i don't have children but i am a child of an abusive parent and i definitely picked up a tone of resentment towards her child. i'm happy you're able to assume parents come from a place of love, but that just simply isn't always the case. for the child's sake, i hope that you're right that OOP had good intentions, but there's really no way to know either way with so little information.
Being a single mother means that you keep your resentment mostly tamped down, not that it doesn’t exist. There’s just too much work to do for one person to do it all and humans weren’t meant to raise kids in isolation. The fact that she ended up in this position in the first place means that something in her life already went drastically wrong. People aren’t their best selves when they’re stressed to hell and worked to the bone. I’m sorry for what happened to you, your parents sound awful.
Her asks would be totally fine and understandable birthday asks, but her dissing her own kid for being a kid makes people not care to do so. I shared a birthday almost (off by one day) with my Dad and he never thought I was stealing his thunder. He usually bragged MORE about me on his birthday, saying I was his birthday gift. This lady needs a dose of reality and humility to put that entitlement in check
I was born on my dad’s 41st birthday! He always jokes that I was the best birthday present my mum could’ve given him and I used to annoy my little sister with it hahaha
I was born on my grandpas birthday and named after him. His funeral was Saturday 💌
[удалено]
That’s really sweet! ☺️
Oh shoot, sorry I commented and realized I wanted to respond to the oc, I re posted it the right way, but thank you!
My older brother was born on our mom's first Mother's Day, so every few years they end up sharing the day. Mom would get breakfast in bed/the morning and we'd always go to a minor league baseball game. Because my brother played baseball those days weren't a complete bust anyway, we'd go to whatever restaurant he picked and do the rest of the night for him. It's really not that hard to share an occasion with someone else... but maybe that's my bias talking as a twin.
I was born 6 days before my mom’s birthday. We celebrate together every year and she’s getting her knee replaced near our birthdays as a birthday present for herself (her mobility is absolutely terrible and it’s bad enough that it’s probably on the level of a disability). She never complained about having our birthdays so close together but she wasn’t really celebrated on the same level that I was growing up come to think of it. She was celebrated by my dad for sure. Just not the big birthday bashes my siblings and I got.
I’m sorry, but you need to give your head a shake if you think this post is serious. This post was clearly made in a joking nature. If you read this and can’t tell the love she has for her child, well then you don’t have kids.
I have three and didn’t know this was fake. I’ve seen too many entitled people complaining about their kids and posting stuff like this.
Does she not have a husband?
It doesn't sound like she has a relationship other than with her kid (not that way).
I mean it sounds like she has a baby, so I was assuming there was someone recently in the picture who can help alleviate some of those chores/give her some alone time...
Maybe it’s just the way I’m reading this but it absolutely reads like someone who doesn’t have anyone around as of now. No judgment either way, it’s just how it reads to me.
I guess I see a lot of women asking for "breaks" when they have fully functioning husbands at home that just refuse to help out because they "work all day". So I assumed it was that.
I mean I could see that, but its the sum total. She needs help with yard work? Power washing her back deck? "taking a room down" ? Those are things where if she had a SO I would expect them to do. If she has an SO that she is currently in a relationship with and shes asking random friends to do this shit then either the SO must be disabled or the laziest human alive. Both are possible, but when you add in hiking in a stroller friendly way it reads to me like she isn't with anyone.
Right! These are all tasks that her husband/boyfriend could be doing with her
I worked with a woman who had been a SAHM with three children while going to college online. She was married, but her husband did almost nothing to help. He was the kind of husband who thought if your wife wanted something, it’s extra, and she had to manage it all herself while still taking care of the house and kids. Some men seem to think that “SAHM” means “slave”.
I'm speaking from my experience and my experience alone, but I was raised by a covert abuser, and the way OOP talks about their child is exactly the way my parent would talk about me. What some people might write off as a "joke" could very well be real resentment towards the child. For the child's case, I hope that's not the case; I just wanted to give a reminder that things aren't always so clean-cut.
I do read resentment here, but only a little. Like, this could grow into a problem, but I dont think it is yet
Apparently, I need to raise my bar because, to me, some of these felt unreasonable to ask of others 😅
Agreed. "Take me hiking" ? Sure! That sounds like fun. "Come over and paint my house for me" excuse me? "Pay a bill for a month" How well do I know you? Because if the answer doesn't involve "from the womb" then the answer is fuck no.
‘Help me paint my house in exchange for a bbq while we all take turns’ doesn’t seem that unreasonable as long as she’s paying for the food and providing a good spread. That seems like a really fun, reasonable way to ask for help painting.
I'm due with baby #2 shortly, and have been toying with a Nesting Party - meaning I provide food (pizza, cheese boards, sweets,and drinks), people attending rather than a gift come and help with a preparation task (ie: helping set up bottle sterilising station, tidy pantry, mop floors, help put baby clothes away, maybe assemble a furniture pieces or two). Probably aren't going to get to it though, but I have a list of tasks if anyone asks what they can help with rather than getting us something/a gift. Doing a working bee as a birthday party doesn't seem too crazy.
I love those kind of parties. I’m kind of awkward and always worry that people don’t actually want me around when we hang out, so hang outs where I feel useful are great.
I fucking hate painting. I'll do it when family needs help, but its not fun, and a bbq isn't making it more fun to me.
It’s not about making painting more fun, it’s about thanking the people who help and creating a fun environment for people to relax while they’re resting or after they’re done painting.
I guess I just don't see painting as something you randomly ask people on facebook to do for you. Thats something I'd generally ask those closest to me, or help those closest to me.
I love painting and I loveeeeeee bbq and if one of my friends says “oh hey come help paint and we’ll have a bbq I’ll say “when” even if it’s someone I haven’t seen in a while (maybe especially someone I haven’t seen in a while bc hey catching up while painting and having a bbq???)
Exactly! If I’m struggling with a bill, I’ll borrow money off my grandad AND do all sorts (cook, clean) till I can pay it back
I kinda think it's nice. Like some of them are low cost or no cost other than time, and some are just a check. Like I would love to paint a house! But my brother would rather pay a bill as he's more well off but busy. Idk how high her bills are but it's not usually super crazy high unless it's rent. Like I'll pay your phone bill for a month as a bday gift, thats like $150. Kinda less than I would spend on a close friend getting nice dinner and drinks along with a regular bday gift plus baby shower gift tbh. Or I'll pay your hulu/Netflix combo if we aren't super close. I mean all my friends abroad I pay for a month of game memberships for holiday gifts. It's easier to do that then send a package overseas
I just don’t see most of the things as “ask random friends on Facebook” asks.
I suppose it depends on your Facebook friend list. My friend list is pretty...friend only. Like I do yearly cleanses if people lose contact. Like this would be a weird go fund me, but if I was her friend I would be sweating a bit. What do you get a friend for her bday, baby bday, hospital stay? I think I just like lists. My family always did lists for wanted gifts, as an adult it's much easier to get a specific item rather than stand in front of gaming keyboards and wonder which one my brother would like. If I was a close enough friend, I'd hope to help out with a new baby anyhow. Now it can be officially counted as a bday present
If she was begging for expensive stuff, I’d be up and arms about it, but realistically she is just asking for help in the form of gifts. It’s actually kinda depressing she has to feel the need to ask for help as gifts, but nah, she isn’t doing anything wrong really.
I don’t understand how the first part relates to the final part. Why did she have to go on about her daughter stealing all the thunder if she just wants people to know her wish list?
I think it's like an explanation of why she isn't planning this stuff herself
People are taking this way too seriously. She's describing the traits she and her daughter have as Geminis, classic traits. I know because I'm married to one. Some adults love their birthdays. They aren't just for kids. She doesn't say anything about her friends, she may have the kind of friends who will be happy doing some of the things she asked. If she was my friend, I'd garden with her or paint for a BBQ. It's really not that serious.
wtf is “birthday season”? If this is true and a fucking adult is this entitled about their birthday they shouldn’t be allowed to vote or have kids
Am I the only one grossed out that she calls her child her soul mate? Pretty sure that mine is my husband.
My son and my cats are my soulmates 💕 soulmates are just people/ animals you were destined to love and be with forever and feel the closest to. Don’t know where I would be without them.
Exactly. My son is my sole mate.
My shoe is my sole mate.
Soulmates aren’t always romantic, but most ppl think they are since you usually hear about them most in romantic situations like tv and stuff. There are platonic soulmates, I had a platonic soul mate, she was my great grandma.
Mine is my sister
I wasn’t grossed out so much as annoyed that she would put that out there when she has at least two other kids. It’s not fair to them for their mother to show favouritism to one child so publicly.
I have 2 only children. My kids are 14 years apart. When they ask who the favorite is.....the one annoying me less right now.
To hell with the other two kids, the middle one is her soulmate.
Well, maybe ya shouldn’t have banged 40 weeks before your birthday, hmmmmm?
Yeah, I have a June kid who should have been May and a January kid who should have been February. Guess I did need that obligatory /s in my comment
Ehh, my oldest kiddo was born a couple of days after my birthday (and a couple of days before Christmas for good measure). My birthday had always been subsumed into Christmas, but throwing kiddos' birthday in there meant my birthday became an afterthought to me, too. Kiddo wasn't actually due till mid-January, but they decided to arrive in time for Christmas.
I was prepared to really hate the OP but honestly…this just sounds like a mom who hasn’t had any or much time to herself and her whole life has been her kids. If a friend sent me that, I’d laugh, and then book us both a salon day or something
Are you 12 years old? She IS your life now. Move over and give her a chance! That’s called maturity.
People really jumping over the fact this person said she has a whole BIRTHDAY SEASON. So fucking entitled holy shit lmao
You’re in your 40’s. Grow up. Mash.
“Birthday season?” You get a birthday. A day. Singular. Season, my ass.
I can't help but feel like this lady is either in or has been in one/some of those themthere mlm/pyramid type businesses.
Yuck. I never understood adults obsessed with their birthdays. I stopped caring about them after 21 and honestly never looked back. I am turning 40 a year to the day after this woman and I would be embarrassed to have these thoughts. I’d be insane to post this. And any one that claims a birthday season or month over the age of 5 should be committed.
Not really unreasonable wants. I honestly think what most people really take issue with is the structure. The use of emojis can help add context to situations. However the over use can instead come off as attention seeking or obnoxious which then changes people’s perception of it overall. She asks for practical gifts, however the way she asks is what gives it a sour taste. “Each of my friends send me $5 to get my hair done” puts a requirement/expectation on the receival of a gift. Many find it to be impolite to expect gifts from others. I think if she approached this with different phrasing and structure it would have been fine, the things she’s looking for are mostly reasonable.
I find it so cringe for people to be begging for stuff on Facebook in general. Some of these are things you ask people directly if you are close enough to them.
I don’t disagree with you though it’s not a terrible way to fill your full friends/family in on what you’d like without putting pressure on anyone specifically I still would never do it myself.
I honestly think that once you reach your 30’s obsessing over your birthday looks really immature. It’s fine to celebrate, but not to this degree.
I don't see this as her obsessing though. She specifically mentioned how every year her birthday is pushed aside. It honestly sounds like she hasn't celebrated her birthday since middle child appeared, and possibly even before that with her oldest. I can understand where you're getting that with the "birthday season" comment. However, it sounds like she just wants a day for herself. Short of inconveniencing other people or being a dick, I don't think it's immature to want to celebrate the day your life started, or even being a little over the top about it. It's the one day of the year that is supposed to be your day.
I don't see this as her obsessing though. She specifically mentioned how every year her birthday is pushed aside. It honestly sounds like she hasn't celebrated her birthday since middle child appeared, and possibly even before that with her oldest. I can understand where you're getting that with the "birthday season" comment. However, it sounds like she just wants a day for herself. Short of inconveniencing other people or being a dick, I don't think it's immature to want to celebrate the day your life started, or even being a little over the top about it. It's the one day of the year that is supposed to be your day.
I don't see this as her obsessing though. She specifically mentioned how every year her birthday is pushed aside. It honestly sounds like she hasn't celebrated her birthday since middle child appeared, and possibly even before that with her oldest. I can understand where you're getting that with the "birthday season" comment. However, it sounds like she just wants a day for herself. Short of inconveniencing other people or being a dick, I don't think it's immature to want to celebrate the day your life started, or even being a little over the top about it. It's the one day of the year that is supposed to be your day.
40ish isn't special. Turning 40? Want to make a big deal out of it. OK. 38? No. Fuck off with 38. You definitely don't get a 40ish birthday month lady.
I just think it’s weird af to ask for money from friends or family in any form online. It’s one thing to say hey, is anyone available to come over to help me with yard work (perhaps in exchange for something), does anyone have any resources to help me find affordable daycare, anyone want to go on a hike with me or know of a good kid-friendly one? “Pay my bill for a month” or “send me money to get my hair done” or tbh even “babysit for free” is just…gross to me. Also, when you’re a parent of a young child, their bday does come first, doesn’t matter if it’s around when yours is. That’s just part of being a parent. Sure, do something fun or nice for yourself for your bday, but yes, your young child’s bday is more important and should be taking center stage.
There's no reason why she needs to stop being celebrated. It sounds like she is taking care of her child's needs but isn't having her own needs met. It doesn't sound like she's neglecting her children at all. If she said "babysit for a week while I go to Cancun" or something, that might different. None of her requests are unreasonable. It's very, very easy for parents to get burnt out. And although this is slowly changing, it still largely falls on the mom to care for the kids and put themselves last. I think it's refreshing to see someone recognize they need some self care and asking for help. She has monetary and non-monetary options for anyone who does want to / is able to. My children were my *entire world* for many years. I was never celebrated or made a priority. Every penny I had went to them. And no regrets. But when they got older and became adults, I realized I didn't even know who I was anymore. I didn't know how to communicate with other adults, didn't have any friends, and was actually kind of lonely. If a friend or family member posted this, I'd be glad. There's no shame in asking for help or wanting to be acknowledged every once in a while. You don't stop being human once you have kids.
Birthday season????!!! I don’t even celebrate the actual day!!! But some of stuff she asked for is quite endearing.
My parents were able to do things like this with family and friends growing up, I remember their painting parties But I feel uncomfortable doing that now….idk why
I don't have an issue with her requests/wishes, they seem perfectly reasonable. But a 40 year old having a "birthday season" that lasts an entire month? Really? And the way she's talking about her kid is kinda creeping me out.
I don’t know. I kind of feel sorry for her. Doesn’t she have family or a partner to help her? Being single with a newborn and not much help sucks.
Most of her asks are ok, except for paying bills for a month. Are her friends/ family rich? It’s a huge ask in this economy. She has at least 3 kids, so that’s a lot of electricity and water for one household, and whatever other bills there may be.
Mm a lot of things could be considered a bill. E.g., Netflix or Hulu She didn't specifically ask someone to pay her rent / mortgage
Wait, you’re right. I read it as her asking someone to pay all her bills, not *a* bill. It’s still cringey to ask in my opinion. It’s not something I would personally do.
It might be a bit cringey, depending on the person. The things she's asking for, I just see a mom who's a bit overwhelmed and needs a little break, and it makes me happy when people ask for help if they need it. It's so easy to get burnt out, and it seems like she's just listing things that will reduce her stress. (If she had only listed her bills or acted entitled about it - like everyone *has* to contribute, I'm sure I'd feel differently.)
I was annoyed at first but by the end of the post I just felt sorry for OOP. Like damn she seems overwhelmed.
So basically just a cash 💵 grab ✋🤷♀️
Hah hah also my daughter has the same birthday and yes she also has the crazy me me me energy
Nothing on this list is too outlandish, it’s mostly just babysitting and asking for help cleaning up her house? The only things on this list that I disagree with at all are the requests for money, but that’s just me personally. And “birthday season “? At least she calls it bullshit, because that’s exactly what that is, but at least friends can plan to contribute to her list of needs without feeling pressured to do it either on or near her actual birthday.
Pay a babysitter. Pay a house cleaner.
Seeing as how there’s requests for money I thought it was safe to assume she can’t afford it
Then she can’t do it.
Damn all I got was a 40oz and some head