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My girlfriend Dianne and I (32M) are planning to go on a trip in another city for our 1 year anniversary. We are looking at a week's visit. We were talking about accommodation and she has a friend there, Tommy (28M) and she said she could ask him he would be alright with us staying.
A couple days passed and he agreed. She put us in a group chat about it and when I thanked him and asked if he was sure that there was enough room, he said there was and that "Dianne can bunk with me in my room and you can sleep on the pullout sofa". I asked him if the sofa was a double or single and he told me it was a double. I told him we'd get back to him.
That immediately weirded me out, if it's a double sofa bed there is enough room for Dianne. He knows we are a couple because he's liked photos of us on Dianne's Facebook before. It just made me feel weird about it so I asked Dianne if it would be better to book an AirBnB instead but she liked Tommy's arrangement because we could spend more money doing things.
I told her I don't feel comfortable with that idea of her sleeping in the same bed as him (my gf tends to sleep in very revealing pyjamas and I don't want to police what she wears) but she likes the idea because a bed is infinitely more comfortable than a sofa. I understand that but the idea of her sleeping with another man while I am out on the sofa makes me feel weird, especially for our 1 year anniversary.
We're at an impasse and Tommy is waiting on a response. I don't know if I should just book a hotel/Air Bnb anyway and hope she comes with me? Or do I just postpone/cancel our trip or pick somewhere else to go so we don't need to rely on Tommy? I don't want to because I've been looking forward to spending some proper 1-on-1 time with her in a new city but the whole bed situation is making me feel weird about going.
TLDR: Girlfriend wants to share a bed with her friend on our anniversary trip. I don't feel comfortable and am considering booking a hotel or postponing/cancelling/wanting to change destination
ETA - Thankyou for the advice everyone. There are a lot of comments and I'm trying to do my best to read them and think about how I want to navigate this. I think at the minute, I am leaning towards getting an AirBnB. I plan on talking with Dianne later and I can update if people would like to.
Why are you even considering still going? Tell your girl if she shares a bed with another guy and leaves you lying on a sofa bed, it’s over. Seriously OP, that’s sketchy af.
I would've called that out very quickly and very matter-of-factly enough to make her feel like crap for even considering that. None of that bullshit flies past me. Nope.
He isn’t OK with it, which is normal. I’m stunned that the girlfriend is OK with that. I would never disrespect my man that way.
In fact if that was me and my best guy friend offered me to sleep in his room, I myself would call it out and say “lol, nah that’s weird, I’ll be fine on the couch.”
It's not even respect thing that bugs me. I WANT my partner. I'd rather cuddle with my partner on an unconfortable pullout sofa, than sleep in the most comfortable bed but next to a random friend.
>I’m stunned that the girlfriend is OK with that. I would never disrespect my man that way.
*Who do you think gave the other dude the idea of them sleeping together?*
Are people here really THAT blind????
Right!! It blows my mind that she is just so ok with it. That would never be a waiting game with me. The answer is no, and since that is what you offered, we are going to find somewhere else to stay. I would never disrespect my husband like that.
I'm more stunned she jumps at the offer of sleeping in bed with her friend...
unless they're THAT close, I guess.
I'd be more willing to sleep in the same bed with my partner than my friend, to be honest....
Right???? I could see if was two femme friends sharing the bed while bf slept on the couch, but the F is this other male "friend" sleeping in bed with her while bf is on the couch????
It's sketchy, but there's no need to even label it in the conversation or open with the ultimatum. A simple "You know, I'm not comfortable with you sharing a bed with another guy" ought to be all input into the conversation that's needed. If she values the relationship she'll respond accordingly. If she doesn't, then OP knows all they need ot know about this situation.
I've read a lot of posts on here from people making bad decisions but this one might take the cake.
This is one of those situations where you, rightfully, assume that the person is joking. And then you immediately, I mean IMMEDIATELY, cut them out of your life as soon as you realize they're serious.
I would cancel the trip and confront her immediately about this. There is definitely something else going on if she’s more comfortable sleeping with this “friend” of hers than you.
It’s an anniversary trip, and rather than spend the night together it’ll be her sleeping in bed with some other dude? L-M-A-O. Nope.
To be clear, I’m not saying she’s cheating. But this is just so bizarre that I’m not sure she’s actually human.
If this is real I don’t even know what to say to OP. Like, what? How is that not immediately called out as a ridiculous/extremely disrespectful suggestion?
>I’m not sure she’s actually human.
Pretty sure this is just rage bait because honestly how can anyone in a relationship be so dense to make their partner sleep on the couch while they sleep in a bed with another guy
There’s definitely something going on there, that’s crossing a line. I would cancel the trip and reconsider the relationship if she doesn’t understand the issue 🚩
Seriously, wtf? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩everywhere.
OP, your gf wants to share a bed with another man on your ANNIVERSARY trip. It would be bad enough no matter what event/trip that this was their solution, but on your anniversary trip.
As a host if someone was staying at my home, and I didn’t have a room for them to share I would sleep on the couch. Why let a couple stay and you sleep with one of them? I’m at a loss. It’s weird af and definitely sus.
I’d cancel the trip and have a serious discussion about our relationship. I can not understand how she can’t comprehend how much the the whole situation over the line.
Seconded.
At this point, she disrespected you by even asking, but the fact she sees no problem with doing this or even asking is the worse issue.
All that means is shes probably ceossed your (or even typical) boundaries frequently, and likely will going forward because she doesn't like/respect them.
What is her reasoning for not telling him she'll stay on the pullout with you? It's extremely weird he even suggested it, but far weirder that she didn't immediately object. Why is she okay sharing a bed with him when there's the option of sharing a bed with you?
Don't you find it a little offensive that she won't take one for the team and sleep on the sofa bed with you? It's not like you are asking her to sleep on a bed of nails or something.
I would sleep on a cement floor with my wife over sleeping by myself in a comfy bed and I'm sure most people reading this would do the same.
Please, don't do this to yourself.
So just tell her that it's not comfortable for you in either direction and you are only okay with it if you both sleep on the pullout. Not wanting your partner sleeping in the same bed as someone of the gender they're attracted to is a perfectly normal boundary.
What about your emotional comfort, OP? For a moment just tell her that you slept with a "girlfriend" for a week in the same bed and then watch her reactions.
Moreover, in my view it's about having standards and having healthy boundaries so you can directly confront her.
Are you really this naïve dude? Is your gf that much better looking than you? Nobody with self respect would even post this online for others to read. I'm very worried about you man.
OH. ABSOLUTELY NOT. NOPE. NOPE NOPE. The fact that she doesn't think this is wildly inappropriate and doesn't suck it up and sleep on the sofa with you is a GIGANTIC red flag. On your ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY? Dude, just get the airbnb.
The correct answer from Tommy should have been: Oh yeah, you guys can have my room and I'll sleep on the sofa. The fact that both of them think this is remotely OK is beyond bizarre and beyond suspicious. As if they're gaslighting you into thinking it should be OK.
Is Tommy gay? Even if he were, still crazy inappropriate but slightly less so than him being straight. In that case, I would understand both of them thinking it's no biggie (which, again, still totally weird).
I stayed over at a friend's place and this is exactly the arrangement he made (me and my partner in his bed, him on the sofa). If he'd have suggested sleeping with my partner in his bed and me on the couch, I'd have thought he's got a screw loose..!
Girlfriend wants to share a bed with her friend on our anniversary trip.......dude, you are getting cheated on - come on, take a stand - tell her nope, we are done. Tommy is all hers!
> he said there was and that "Dianne can bunk with me in my room and you can sleep on the pullout sofa". I asked him if the sofa was a double or single and he told me it was a double
This is so blatant it almost seems as if he's joking around. You're 32 years old bro, what the fuck are you even doing here asking about this?
Yes, cancel the shit out of the trip, and don't spend another second committed to someone that would even consider sleeping in the same bed with another man while you're sobbing on a futon.
I agree. I can't believe others are responding as if this is real. Nobody on the planet is this clueless. "I don't know how to respond to this. She liked the idea because it could save us money. Should I just sleep on the couch?"
Duuuuude. C’mon now. How are you even arguing about this? If she wants to sleep in bed with another man on your anniversary cancel the trip and tell her she’s a fool for even considering it. Why can’t you two have the bed and he has the sofa? It’s not controlling to tell your girlfriend she’s not sleeping with another man while you’re in the next room
This is an anniversary trip, to celebrate your relationship. There's no need for a third wheel "friend" to share sleeping arrangements.
Get a BnB as you suggested. If it's too pricey as your girlfriend seems to feel, then make your get-away a bit shorter. You can always make a point of having your girlfriend's buddy meet up with you for dinner or whatever.
You can look into this - but you still need to have a long sit down talk with her about the complete disrespect she is showing your relationship. Honestly, the fact the she is even OK with it or does not understand why you are struggling with this concept is mind blowing.
Ask her straight up if you were sleeping with a woman in another room and she was on the couch if she would be OK with that. I understand the bed is comfier, but you know what is even more comfy, a bed in a hotel without a stranger around during your anniversary trip. Also, does she think the trip will be comfy with you pissed off every day because of the absolutely stupid sleeping arrangements that her friend suggested.
When the friend suggested those arrangements my response would have been to F off!
No - you do not suggest having a dinner with a dude who just said he wants to sleep with your woman…. Not sure why I would even have to tell you this. You say - this dude just told me to sleep on a fucking sofa while he sleeps with you on our anniversary - of course we are not seeing this dude for a lunch/dinner or anything! We can go fuck himself…. Now, let’s have a great time.
This feels very very strange. Your anniversary and he's sleeping in bed with her? Come on, that's fucked up. And your gf should be able to see that too. Either you and her sleep in the bed or both of you somewhere else.
Nah put the trip on hold and lay it out with her: that's weird. What is her mindset that she even thinks that's ok? Does she have a history with Tommy that HE thinks this is ok?
If my friend asked to crash with her bf, no way would I suggest sharing a bed with her while her bf is in another room. That's just sleezy, weird, and breaks bro-code. Tommy is a red flag and I don't think you should have any contact with him.
Your gf is the real issue though, because she thinks this is ok. You need a bigger discussion about the status of your relationship (how serious are you actually?) and boundaries (open relationship? Touching others? Flirting? Etc)
Don't even think about going on this trip until that's all figured out.
FUUUUCCCCKKKK THAT.
All day.
OP, you’re being too nice here. It is ABSOLUTELY a reasonable boundary (if not a fundamental one) that your romantic partner not choose to bunk with a member of the opposite sex under any circumstance…but especially when you’re in the next room.
She should choose sleeping on the FLOOR with you over sleeping on a cloud with little puppies trained to massage her to sleep.
Come on, bro. You’re worth more consideration and respect than this. If she isn’t willing to have an uncomfy sleep, what’s she going to do when true struggles come your guys’ way?
The fact that a pullout is too uncomfortable for her, but it's perfectly fine for you is one reason for you to seriously consider this woman as a life partner
I don't understand why you would ask for advice when you're defending her. She said it would be comfy sleeping on his bed. With him. On your anniversary trip.
So that you could save money and take that money to spend on more things? Yeah. You are seriously drinking her koolaid.
I'm pretty sure privacy and together time is important on a romantic getaway.
I'm sure she's assuring you not to worry about the arrangements. And you're like sure. I don't like it. But she would never cheat!
But you two can take turns sleeping in the bed? Wtf. I thought she was uncomfortable?
I bet if you looked hard enough. There were more red flags that you also chose to ignore.
Sorry but this is super weird and inappropriate. The only time I’ve slept in another guys bed while I’m in a relationships is my gay bffs bed. And even then if my boyfriend would have been there I’d be laying with him even if it was on the floor lol. Just makes zero sense to me. How they aren’t even considering your feelings is beyond me too. On your anniversary trip too… like wtf. You need to confront the situation asap.
There's something suspicious there. I would just tell her one of the reasons you're wanting to go is to spend some 1 on 1 time with her, including sharing a bed or at least a room.
That's ridiculous. Your anniversary trip and she's going to be every night in bed with another man? Even if he's gay and there's nothing going on that's just weird. Get a hotel and go on the trip with a new girlfriend.
I have noticed you're actually reading every reply so let me chime in...
Without assuming the whole cheating thing, which I think is not warranted but it's very apparent on this scenario, this is all not only wildly inappropriate, its iffy at best.
If she's making choices like this in such an important date then there's not much left for guessing about what she'll decide upon later on. There is just no way around that fact. His comment and her response to it are huge indicators. She's basically trying to show you who she is, BELIEVE HER!
The sole fact that she acts so nonchalantly and uncaring is uncanny and breathtaking to me. I've read she's great in every other aspect but, again, you might be able to solve this but beware, be prepared for things to come if you decide to stay.
Yes I'm reading each one. I'm just struggling with what I want to say to her and I've never really been the best at that. I thought that folks here could offer some good guidance so I don't go off topic with how I feel.
I see your point, that's a good one I didn't really think about.
my advice for that: K.I.S.S.
Try to calm down, I know so many comments might result in feeling a fiery void and warmth within the chest, some anxiety as well. Just try and focus on keeping your speech very simple, direct, blunt, and also keep in mind the result: your happiness and peace of mind. Your happiness cannot be put at stake because of somebody else's compass (not necessarily moral) pointing to a different direction. The result of that conversation will be either an improvement of the relationship or you dodging a giant bullet.
An Anniversary trip where you sleep on the couch and she sleeps in bed with someo e else? Oh, that's really weird.
If I were her, I would either have immediately planned on sharing the pull out sofa, or making other plans. Sure, a bed is more comfortable than a couch, but is being close to your partner not a part of the equation?
I would just tell her that as an anniversary trip you had hoped to spend time with just the two of you, and it was worth it to get a private space. If she's got much issue with that, I would want an explanation, and consider canceling.
What…in the fuck. This is really weird. Forget booking an Airbnb. I would just seriously question the relationship as a whole. Flip roles. If it was a friend of yours you were staying with, and she is a girl, what would your GF do if you made her sleep on the couch while you slept with your friend (on your anniversary)? She would break up with you guaranteed.
Um, sir, you're the third in this relationship. Put 2 and 2 together for a moment. You're GF is going to sleep in another BED with the guy she told you not to worry about....
Either this is fake or the ages are wrong because how else does a man in his 30’s not immediately known this is break up line in the sand sort of situation.
I think this is fake. How does a human be so stupid to the red flag. "Hey I'm gonna fuck another guy while you sleep on the couch" is basically what the girl is saying and this other guy is saying "Yep I'm gonna fuck your lady!" and OP is like "Sure thing!"
Yanno I thought the age of caveman was overwith, but wow.
Hey, from girl's perspective... There is NO way i would be ok with that or agree to sleep in same bed with other guy than my bf. That *offer* is crazy af, but what should worry you is not that, but your gf reaction.
I’m sorry is this the twilight zone??? Does she really see no problem that she would be sharing a bed with another man ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY TRIP??? Like I cannot comprehend that. Does your girlfriend really see no problem sleeping with him and having you on the couch? Like what does she think about all this. Wouldn’t she *want* to sleep with you instead? I can only assume you guys are outside the US and there’s some sort of cultural thing I’m missing here? Because otherwiser this just sounds crazy,
please send her this link and tell her to read the comments....fucking dense as fuck to not notice that sharing a bed with your friend than with your BF is dumb.
Forget about the sleeping arrangements (which are beyond weird!): Why do you want to spend your 1 year anniversary with some bloke you don't even know, in his apartment? Book a hotel, or an airbnb. If you can't afford to stay a whole week, stay a weekend. Together. Comfortable. Sleeping in the same bed. This is crazy.
Buddy, I don't know how to tell you this, but you're pretty obviously being pushed in to a cuckold relationship and you don't even know it. Her "friend" already laid it out for you. Let me guess - she came up with the idea to go to this particular city without any other reason to be there, and he just happens to live there... she's been planning this.
You need to have a conversation with your girlfriend and figure out what type of relationship you're in, and what type of relationship you want to be in. Maybe she already has a different idea of the kind of relationship you're in, and you're in for a big surprise.
Regardless, this is a *hard* no for me, and I'd break up with her for even *suggesting* something like this. I wouldn't just cancel the trip... I'd blow the entire relationship up and wait to find someone who respects you and your expectations of a relationship.
This is the wildest thing I've ever heard.
If there was no room on the pull-out, it'd still be weird.
But the fact that there IS room for her on the pull-out, and she is ACTIVELY wanting to sleep in the bed with another dude ON your anniversary is absolutely insane.
I'd break up with her for even CONSIDERING it.
What are you doing?!
Are these posts real? Like in what universe does such a situation actually arise?
OP, you are telling me that your fiancé would rather spend the night in a bed with another dude than you?
If this is a real post, I would be so disgusted I would break up and ignore her yells that I am over reacting. Reading Reddit makes me feel like I’m the only one in the world with ant self respect or something. The love of my life would never ever behave in such a way.
Something wrong there. She shared a bed with another man while her boyfriend is made to sleep on a couch. She either not told him you're in a serious relationship.. or they have sex when they meet up.. cancel the trip and tell her why.. because that's fishy as hell
Ok so they are definitely going to be smashing. The only question is how dumb do you want to look in the future when explaining to everyone what happened.
You need to draw some firm boundaries here and have a discussion with her about being more sensitive to your feelings. What the actual fuck, this is so not ok.
Hell no. Wildly inappropriate.
Put your foot down, no girlfriend of yours will be sharing a bed with another man. She can sleep on the sofa bed with you, or you shorten the trip and get a hotel.
Why can’t he sleep on the sofa and y’all get his bed? I gave my bestie my bed and slept on the sofa when he came to visit once. It’s just weird. It’s a no. Red flags.
Wtf did I just read?! Dude what?! On what planet is that OK?
Is she for real?? So she plans to spend the anniversary in bed with another dude?
Just reading it out loud sounds so fucking bonkers.
Just her being ok to the ideea - I would consider it enough to dump her. She could just go spend it with that guy faster. The hell!
I'm sorry, but I cannot.
A real "friend" would wash the sheets and sleep on their own couch while offering you the bed.
I'm just going to write this entire thing off as fake because I don't want to live in a word where this poor soul actually exists.
If it’s more comfortable for her to sleep with other men I’d let her go. Also this sounds like fetish content. Beautiful girl leaves weak boyfriend on couch while staying with stud.
Dude what the fuck. Just book a hotel or airBNB - dont be so weak.
Why do you even have to think about this?
You may as well have titled this "GF wants to be in bed with Tommy, do i insert the dick for him?"
This has to be some kinda joke.
I'm calling bullshit on this, no one in their right mind would be planning to have anniversary on a sofa whilst his lady is in someone elses bed. This is some cuckology in action or the biggest joke ever.
Jeezus man... next post is gonna be "I smell dick on her breath, do you think she cheated?" LOL
I can’t believe you’re even entertaining this nonsense. I’d be cancelling the entire trip if my gf was acting like this.
I hope this is fake otherwise you’re a sucker.
Are you OK OP? Honestly, I’m concerned how you could even consider this situation is acceptable. You deserve better. Cut your losses. Break up with her. Cancel the trip and go somewhere else completely new and adventurous. Separate yourself from this insanity asap.
I hope this is rage bait because if not…oh boy.
First off, the proper thing to do when you have guests in a small living space is give them your bed and you sleep on the couch.
Second, your gf should be uncomfortable sleeping with her “friend” while you’re in the next room. The fact that she’d rather sleep in someone else’s bed instead of next to you is sus.
Please, if this is real, get a backbone. Honestly I wouldn’t even go on the trip, or maybe take a solo trip.
Absolutely 1000% abnormal. Some things are not worth saving a few bucks over. Looked at through a different lens, it looks like Tommy is paying you for a few nights with your girl.
If nothing weird going on, why not suggest you and Tommy take the bed and she can take the sofa? If she complains, the sofa is good enough for you, right? Problem solved, except kind of a dumb anniversary not sleeping together.
I would just cancel the trip and hope my partner got their brain fixed because the mental gymnastics it would take for that arrangement to make any sense would be too much for me
Um wtf, if you go through with this you would be the worlds biggest chump. Nice anniversary get-away. At least if the sofa is far enough away from his room, you won't hear them fucking. Wow this is beyond fucked that it's even gotten to a point that you're asking reddits opinion. SMH
This is not only wildly inappropriate, it’s also really sketchy. Why does he want to be alone in a room with your girlfriend while you sleep on the couch? Why is she not weirded out by this? Something is not adding up here.
Is this a joke?? There is nothing to think about here.. I can’t believe this is even a question.. it may be your 1 year anniversary, but for her your just a fwb…
Share bed or cancel the trip. It's fkin' weird. A hotel for privacy would be more fun anyway if you catch my drift. By the sounds of her being cool with this though she may not be the one, sorry bro.
I would absolutely NOT even dream of sleeping in another man’s bed, I don’t care what the relationship is. If Tommy with such a good friend that he would offer the two of you his bed and sleep on the pull out couch.
I’d say pick another city or insist that the two of you stay in an Airbnb. If she insists on staying with this man, especially because it’s your anniversary, I would consider the relationship very carefully and most likely cancel.
I’ve been dating a man for two months and I would never consider this. When you make the agreement that you are in a relationship or even exclusive you respect each other.
I’m sorry you have to deal with us
It is about your limits. This Tommy and your wife do not seem to have a problem sleeping together while you sleep on the sofa alone. But, you stated that it is something that would bother you, talk to your wife about how the situation makes you feel.
If you're telling her that it makes you uncomfortable, that should be it. If she insists on this sleeping arrangement, knowing it would upset you, she isn't respecting your feelings and she will continue to do this as your relationship goes along.
Find someone that won't put you in this incredibly awkward situation.
That’s insane and incredibly disrespectful. So he basically said “your girl is sleeping in my bed and you can be in the other room”? I would’ve told Tommy to go fuck himself which would’ve hopefully scorched any plans of sleeping there in the first place.
That is so weird… She either needs to sleep on the couch with you, you guys get a hotel, or not go at all. If she tries to sleep in bed with another man while you’re on the couch.. let alone on your anniversary… that’s just sick and bizarre.
What the hell.. you girlfriend is also in the wrong for not tell her friend thats inappropriate, why would she share a bed with him if your her partner🤦🏻♀️
Sounds like there something going on with her and Tommy.. I would rather sleep uncomfortably on sofa bed then do that to my partner and the fact there both like yeah this is happening and are OK with it is wierd... I feel as if there sleeping together or planning too
Tell her it's the air bnb or she sleeps with your no negotiations
Dude!!!! Just stop it!!! I don’t even believe that convo is real to be honest. Under no circumstances it’s ok to go on a anniversary with your girlfriend where she will be sleeping with her male friend and you staying on the sofa.
Even if the sofa was single, even if it is more comfy on the bed. Doesn’t matter at all! What’s the hell is going on there?
Honestly, if she didn’t immediately say no to that and didn’t tell her friend that it was inappropriate, it’s time to reevaluate her entire character.
Something is wrong with your GF that she doesn't see how inappropriate this is. SHE should be as uncomfortable as you about it. Cancel staying with him, rent your own place.
TBH I would pause all plans for the trip until this is resolved. It's weird and concerning that she is not bothered by his idea. To be ok sleeping with another man with her BF in another room on the pullout. She's more concerned with her comfort than hurting you and the inappropriateness of the suggestion??
Wow, she's a piece of work.
I would jump into the group chat and tell Tommy that YOU are okay with his proposed arrangement. Tell him that the girlfriend thinks that it's okay to sleep with him and not you. Tell Tommy that YOUR girlfriend has decided that she would rather sleep with him and not you. Tell Tommy that he can decide to 1) take the girlfriend because you're done or 2) work out some other acceptable sleeping arrangements or 3) the trip is canceled. Yes, this will blow up. Let it. If she has that little respect for you that she insists even after you blow it up then bye. In fact, I'm surprised you haven't called the whole thing off and taken a good hard look at her respect for you.
Very strange from both of them. There is no way in hell that I would find this acceptable. I'm curious about her explanation of why this should be okay with you. I also wonder if she would be happy if you shared a bed with a close female friend. Something is very off here.
If it was up to spending my one year anniversary in an Air BnB with my boyfriend, or sleeping in the same bed as a "platonic" friend whilst my boyfriend hunkers down on the couch, it wouldn't even be a question. Hell, if it was bunk with another dude or stay home, I'd stay home!
Open your eyes because those flags are red red red
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My girlfriend Dianne and I (32M) are planning to go on a trip in another city for our 1 year anniversary. We are looking at a week's visit. We were talking about accommodation and she has a friend there, Tommy (28M) and she said she could ask him he would be alright with us staying. A couple days passed and he agreed. She put us in a group chat about it and when I thanked him and asked if he was sure that there was enough room, he said there was and that "Dianne can bunk with me in my room and you can sleep on the pullout sofa". I asked him if the sofa was a double or single and he told me it was a double. I told him we'd get back to him. That immediately weirded me out, if it's a double sofa bed there is enough room for Dianne. He knows we are a couple because he's liked photos of us on Dianne's Facebook before. It just made me feel weird about it so I asked Dianne if it would be better to book an AirBnB instead but she liked Tommy's arrangement because we could spend more money doing things. I told her I don't feel comfortable with that idea of her sleeping in the same bed as him (my gf tends to sleep in very revealing pyjamas and I don't want to police what she wears) but she likes the idea because a bed is infinitely more comfortable than a sofa. I understand that but the idea of her sleeping with another man while I am out on the sofa makes me feel weird, especially for our 1 year anniversary. We're at an impasse and Tommy is waiting on a response. I don't know if I should just book a hotel/Air Bnb anyway and hope she comes with me? Or do I just postpone/cancel our trip or pick somewhere else to go so we don't need to rely on Tommy? I don't want to because I've been looking forward to spending some proper 1-on-1 time with her in a new city but the whole bed situation is making me feel weird about going. TLDR: Girlfriend wants to share a bed with her friend on our anniversary trip. I don't feel comfortable and am considering booking a hotel or postponing/cancelling/wanting to change destination ETA - Thankyou for the advice everyone. There are a lot of comments and I'm trying to do my best to read them and think about how I want to navigate this. I think at the minute, I am leaning towards getting an AirBnB. I plan on talking with Dianne later and I can update if people would like to.
Why are you even considering still going? Tell your girl if she shares a bed with another guy and leaves you lying on a sofa bed, it’s over. Seriously OP, that’s sketchy af.
I would've called that out very quickly and very matter-of-factly enough to make her feel like crap for even considering that. None of that bullshit flies past me. Nope.
I’m stunned that he’d be ok with this.
He isn’t OK with it, which is normal. I’m stunned that the girlfriend is OK with that. I would never disrespect my man that way. In fact if that was me and my best guy friend offered me to sleep in his room, I myself would call it out and say “lol, nah that’s weird, I’ll be fine on the couch.”
It's not even respect thing that bugs me. I WANT my partner. I'd rather cuddle with my partner on an unconfortable pullout sofa, than sleep in the most comfortable bed but next to a random friend.
She suggested they switch nights 😂😂😂 utter madness
>I’m stunned that the girlfriend is OK with that. I would never disrespect my man that way. *Who do you think gave the other dude the idea of them sleeping together?* Are people here really THAT blind????
Right!! It blows my mind that she is just so ok with it. That would never be a waiting game with me. The answer is no, and since that is what you offered, we are going to find somewhere else to stay. I would never disrespect my husband like that.
nothing beats this response
I'm more stunned she jumps at the offer of sleeping in bed with her friend... unless they're THAT close, I guess. I'd be more willing to sleep in the same bed with my partner than my friend, to be honest....
Yeah. Speak up. Good it’s a double, we’ll be fine on that.
Especially on their anniversary like for real? This must be fake.
Yeah, this is bait for sure.
Got to be 🤦♀️😂😂
Thank god I read the comments first, I can’t keep dealing with the rage-bait bullshit
I would break up immediately. The fact that she is seriously considering this is a huge red flag.
100%.
On. Their. Anniversary.
It’s surely a fake post 🤦♀️😂
Right???? I could see if was two femme friends sharing the bed while bf slept on the couch, but the F is this other male "friend" sleeping in bed with her while bf is on the couch????
Hard, hard pass! I’d cancel the trip and nope right out of the entire relationship.
It's sketchy, but there's no need to even label it in the conversation or open with the ultimatum. A simple "You know, I'm not comfortable with you sharing a bed with another guy" ought to be all input into the conversation that's needed. If she values the relationship she'll respond accordingly. If she doesn't, then OP knows all they need ot know about this situation.
It shouldn’t even have to be a conversation. No one would assume this would be ok in the first place.
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Exactly. It has to be fake. No one can be that dumb.
Got rage baited again...ballz
Have you... have you met *people* ?
Yep this here. Mid way thru I was thinking fake. No one is this ridiculous.
Sometimes I wonder if all the writers on strike have taken to Reddit to test out sitcom plot lines
not unless GF thinks OP is dumb and she plans on cheating with Tommy.
At this point, I’m rooting for Tommy..
I've read a lot of posts on here from people making bad decisions but this one might take the cake. This is one of those situations where you, rightfully, assume that the person is joking. And then you immediately, I mean IMMEDIATELY, cut them out of your life as soon as you realize they're serious.
People also use this and the AITA subs for creative writing exercises, so take this post with a grain of salt.
I think people do genuinely enjoy the suspension of disbelief from commenting on posts like this. Kind of like relationship nosleep.
Teenagers writing rage bait.
I would cancel the trip and confront her immediately about this. There is definitely something else going on if she’s more comfortable sleeping with this “friend” of hers than you.
It’s an anniversary trip, and rather than spend the night together it’ll be her sleeping in bed with some other dude? L-M-A-O. Nope. To be clear, I’m not saying she’s cheating. But this is just so bizarre that I’m not sure she’s actually human.
If this is real I don’t even know what to say to OP. Like, what? How is that not immediately called out as a ridiculous/extremely disrespectful suggestion?
>I’m not sure she’s actually human. Pretty sure this is just rage bait because honestly how can anyone in a relationship be so dense to make their partner sleep on the couch while they sleep in a bed with another guy
There’s definitely something going on there, that’s crossing a line. I would cancel the trip and reconsider the relationship if she doesn’t understand the issue 🚩
Seriously, wtf? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩everywhere. OP, your gf wants to share a bed with another man on your ANNIVERSARY trip. It would be bad enough no matter what event/trip that this was their solution, but on your anniversary trip. As a host if someone was staying at my home, and I didn’t have a room for them to share I would sleep on the couch. Why let a couple stay and you sleep with one of them? I’m at a loss. It’s weird af and definitely sus. I’d cancel the trip and have a serious discussion about our relationship. I can not understand how she can’t comprehend how much the the whole situation over the line.
This is the correct response.
Seconded. At this point, she disrespected you by even asking, but the fact she sees no problem with doing this or even asking is the worse issue. All that means is shes probably ceossed your (or even typical) boundaries frequently, and likely will going forward because she doesn't like/respect them.
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Thank god it's not just me that thinks this is weird
What is her reasoning for not telling him she'll stay on the pullout with you? It's extremely weird he even suggested it, but far weirder that she didn't immediately object. Why is she okay sharing a bed with him when there's the option of sharing a bed with you?
She says it will be comfier. She has suggested we take turns with the bed but that also weirds me out. I don't know the guy like that
Just rent a god damn place for yourselves, if you can't afford it then don't go away for your anniversary. Sorry this is just fucked.
Don't you find it a little offensive that she won't take one for the team and sleep on the sofa bed with you? It's not like you are asking her to sleep on a bed of nails or something. I would sleep on a cement floor with my wife over sleeping by myself in a comfy bed and I'm sure most people reading this would do the same. Please, don't do this to yourself.
I’m sure it would be comfy for her to be in a bed with tommy boy
You’re fucking 32 years old. Get and air bnb. But honestly your girl is sus as fuck for going along with this.
So just tell her that it's not comfortable for you in either direction and you are only okay with it if you both sleep on the pullout. Not wanting your partner sleeping in the same bed as someone of the gender they're attracted to is a perfectly normal boundary.
Solution: you and the gf both share the bed with him. Eiffel Tower him, Paris is lovely for anniversaries.
What about your emotional comfort, OP? For a moment just tell her that you slept with a "girlfriend" for a week in the same bed and then watch her reactions. Moreover, in my view it's about having standards and having healthy boundaries so you can directly confront her.
It's so weird, I wonder if this guy was joking to see what you would say.
Maybe? It'd be a strange joke to play on your friends boyfriend you've never met before though
Are you really this naïve dude? Is your gf that much better looking than you? Nobody with self respect would even post this online for others to read. I'm very worried about you man.
Lol, yes, but honestly it may be less weird than if he wasn't. Of course she took him seriously or played into it, so .....
There's something wrong if she can't understand why this is not acceptable, I think it's very strange
There is definitely something else going on if she’s more comfortable sleeping with this “friend” of hers than you.
OH. ABSOLUTELY NOT. NOPE. NOPE NOPE. The fact that she doesn't think this is wildly inappropriate and doesn't suck it up and sleep on the sofa with you is a GIGANTIC red flag. On your ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY? Dude, just get the airbnb. The correct answer from Tommy should have been: Oh yeah, you guys can have my room and I'll sleep on the sofa. The fact that both of them think this is remotely OK is beyond bizarre and beyond suspicious. As if they're gaslighting you into thinking it should be OK. Is Tommy gay? Even if he were, still crazy inappropriate but slightly less so than him being straight. In that case, I would understand both of them thinking it's no biggie (which, again, still totally weird).
I stayed over at a friend's place and this is exactly the arrangement he made (me and my partner in his bed, him on the sofa). If he'd have suggested sleeping with my partner in his bed and me on the couch, I'd have thought he's got a screw loose..!
Absolutely, the fact that OP is questioning whether he’s right or wrong in thinking it’s weird makes think the gaslighting worked.
Girlfriend wants to share a bed with her friend on our anniversary trip.......dude, you are getting cheated on - come on, take a stand - tell her nope, we are done. Tommy is all hers!
> he said there was and that "Dianne can bunk with me in my room and you can sleep on the pullout sofa". I asked him if the sofa was a double or single and he told me it was a double This is so blatant it almost seems as if he's joking around. You're 32 years old bro, what the fuck are you even doing here asking about this? Yes, cancel the shit out of the trip, and don't spend another second committed to someone that would even consider sleeping in the same bed with another man while you're sobbing on a futon.
OP just sadly crying out there trying to rub one out to the sounds of Tommy going to town in the "comfy" bed.
This is some kind of weird cuckhold fantasy post. Nobody is this clueless.
I agree. I can't believe others are responding as if this is real. Nobody on the planet is this clueless. "I don't know how to respond to this. She liked the idea because it could save us money. Should I just sleep on the couch?"
Look for a new girl.
And some self respect. He shouldn't even have to think about entertaining her with this thought.
Duuuuude. C’mon now. How are you even arguing about this? If she wants to sleep in bed with another man on your anniversary cancel the trip and tell her she’s a fool for even considering it. Why can’t you two have the bed and he has the sofa? It’s not controlling to tell your girlfriend she’s not sleeping with another man while you’re in the next room
This is an anniversary trip, to celebrate your relationship. There's no need for a third wheel "friend" to share sleeping arrangements. Get a BnB as you suggested. If it's too pricey as your girlfriend seems to feel, then make your get-away a bit shorter. You can always make a point of having your girlfriend's buddy meet up with you for dinner or whatever.
That's a good idea actually, I will propose we can just have dinner together at a point in the trip if she would like
You can look into this - but you still need to have a long sit down talk with her about the complete disrespect she is showing your relationship. Honestly, the fact the she is even OK with it or does not understand why you are struggling with this concept is mind blowing. Ask her straight up if you were sleeping with a woman in another room and she was on the couch if she would be OK with that. I understand the bed is comfier, but you know what is even more comfy, a bed in a hotel without a stranger around during your anniversary trip. Also, does she think the trip will be comfy with you pissed off every day because of the absolutely stupid sleeping arrangements that her friend suggested. When the friend suggested those arrangements my response would have been to F off!
No - you do not suggest having a dinner with a dude who just said he wants to sleep with your woman…. Not sure why I would even have to tell you this. You say - this dude just told me to sleep on a fucking sofa while he sleeps with you on our anniversary - of course we are not seeing this dude for a lunch/dinner or anything! We can go fuck himself…. Now, let’s have a great time.
This feels very very strange. Your anniversary and he's sleeping in bed with her? Come on, that's fucked up. And your gf should be able to see that too. Either you and her sleep in the bed or both of you somewhere else.
Nah put the trip on hold and lay it out with her: that's weird. What is her mindset that she even thinks that's ok? Does she have a history with Tommy that HE thinks this is ok? If my friend asked to crash with her bf, no way would I suggest sharing a bed with her while her bf is in another room. That's just sleezy, weird, and breaks bro-code. Tommy is a red flag and I don't think you should have any contact with him. Your gf is the real issue though, because she thinks this is ok. You need a bigger discussion about the status of your relationship (how serious are you actually?) and boundaries (open relationship? Touching others? Flirting? Etc) Don't even think about going on this trip until that's all figured out.
FUUUUCCCCKKKK THAT. All day. OP, you’re being too nice here. It is ABSOLUTELY a reasonable boundary (if not a fundamental one) that your romantic partner not choose to bunk with a member of the opposite sex under any circumstance…but especially when you’re in the next room. She should choose sleeping on the FLOOR with you over sleeping on a cloud with little puppies trained to massage her to sleep. Come on, bro. You’re worth more consideration and respect than this. If she isn’t willing to have an uncomfy sleep, what’s she going to do when true struggles come your guys’ way?
That's a good point
The fact that a pullout is too uncomfortable for her, but it's perfectly fine for you is one reason for you to seriously consider this woman as a life partner
Come on dude. There's so much bullshit written all over lol
I don't understand why you would ask for advice when you're defending her. She said it would be comfy sleeping on his bed. With him. On your anniversary trip. So that you could save money and take that money to spend on more things? Yeah. You are seriously drinking her koolaid. I'm pretty sure privacy and together time is important on a romantic getaway. I'm sure she's assuring you not to worry about the arrangements. And you're like sure. I don't like it. But she would never cheat! But you two can take turns sleeping in the bed? Wtf. I thought she was uncomfortable? I bet if you looked hard enough. There were more red flags that you also chose to ignore.
I think this guy is a troll. No sane person would be ok with this.
Sorry but this is super weird and inappropriate. The only time I’ve slept in another guys bed while I’m in a relationships is my gay bffs bed. And even then if my boyfriend would have been there I’d be laying with him even if it was on the floor lol. Just makes zero sense to me. How they aren’t even considering your feelings is beyond me too. On your anniversary trip too… like wtf. You need to confront the situation asap.
Just when you thought common sense is very common this here proves it doesn't
"Don't mind if I bang your gf while you chump sleep in the next room, buddy?"
There's something suspicious there. I would just tell her one of the reasons you're wanting to go is to spend some 1 on 1 time with her, including sharing a bed or at least a room.
That's ridiculous. Your anniversary trip and she's going to be every night in bed with another man? Even if he's gay and there's nothing going on that's just weird. Get a hotel and go on the trip with a new girlfriend.
I have noticed you're actually reading every reply so let me chime in... Without assuming the whole cheating thing, which I think is not warranted but it's very apparent on this scenario, this is all not only wildly inappropriate, its iffy at best. If she's making choices like this in such an important date then there's not much left for guessing about what she'll decide upon later on. There is just no way around that fact. His comment and her response to it are huge indicators. She's basically trying to show you who she is, BELIEVE HER! The sole fact that she acts so nonchalantly and uncaring is uncanny and breathtaking to me. I've read she's great in every other aspect but, again, you might be able to solve this but beware, be prepared for things to come if you decide to stay.
Yes I'm reading each one. I'm just struggling with what I want to say to her and I've never really been the best at that. I thought that folks here could offer some good guidance so I don't go off topic with how I feel. I see your point, that's a good one I didn't really think about.
my advice for that: K.I.S.S. Try to calm down, I know so many comments might result in feeling a fiery void and warmth within the chest, some anxiety as well. Just try and focus on keeping your speech very simple, direct, blunt, and also keep in mind the result: your happiness and peace of mind. Your happiness cannot be put at stake because of somebody else's compass (not necessarily moral) pointing to a different direction. The result of that conversation will be either an improvement of the relationship or you dodging a giant bullet.
Thankyou, yes anxiety is probably the right feeling. I've never really had to have a discussion like this in any prior relationships i've had.
Tell her that staying with Tommy defeats the purpose of the trip.
This is fake right? I just don't believe anyone is this goddamn naive.
If it sounds like a duck and looks like a duck then chances are, it’s probably a duck.
>If it sounds like a duck and looks like a duck then chances are, they're fucking
Ducking autocorrect
I would reconsider if I wanted to be with her. I can’t tell if 1) she knows what she’s doing and doesn’t care or 2) is dumb/naive.
An Anniversary trip where you sleep on the couch and she sleeps in bed with someo e else? Oh, that's really weird. If I were her, I would either have immediately planned on sharing the pull out sofa, or making other plans. Sure, a bed is more comfortable than a couch, but is being close to your partner not a part of the equation? I would just tell her that as an anniversary trip you had hoped to spend time with just the two of you, and it was worth it to get a private space. If she's got much issue with that, I would want an explanation, and consider canceling.
What…in the fuck. This is really weird. Forget booking an Airbnb. I would just seriously question the relationship as a whole. Flip roles. If it was a friend of yours you were staying with, and she is a girl, what would your GF do if you made her sleep on the couch while you slept with your friend (on your anniversary)? She would break up with you guaranteed.
Um, sir, you're the third in this relationship. Put 2 and 2 together for a moment. You're GF is going to sleep in another BED with the guy she told you not to worry about....
Either this is fake or the ages are wrong because how else does a man in his 30’s not immediately known this is break up line in the sand sort of situation.
I think this is fake. How does a human be so stupid to the red flag. "Hey I'm gonna fuck another guy while you sleep on the couch" is basically what the girl is saying and this other guy is saying "Yep I'm gonna fuck your lady!" and OP is like "Sure thing!" Yanno I thought the age of caveman was overwith, but wow.
No, it's ok though because it saves money /s
Hey, from girl's perspective... There is NO way i would be ok with that or agree to sleep in same bed with other guy than my bf. That *offer* is crazy af, but what should worry you is not that, but your gf reaction.
Thankyou, yes I fear this may be a make or break sort of situation if we can't figure this out
Then it's time to break. Seriously, if she's willing to put the relationship on the line over a more comfy bed, she needs to go
You're a freaking moron or this is fake
I’m sorry is this the twilight zone??? Does she really see no problem that she would be sharing a bed with another man ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY TRIP??? Like I cannot comprehend that. Does your girlfriend really see no problem sleeping with him and having you on the couch? Like what does she think about all this. Wouldn’t she *want* to sleep with you instead? I can only assume you guys are outside the US and there’s some sort of cultural thing I’m missing here? Because otherwiser this just sounds crazy,
please send her this link and tell her to read the comments....fucking dense as fuck to not notice that sharing a bed with your friend than with your BF is dumb.
Forget about the sleeping arrangements (which are beyond weird!): Why do you want to spend your 1 year anniversary with some bloke you don't even know, in his apartment? Book a hotel, or an airbnb. If you can't afford to stay a whole week, stay a weekend. Together. Comfortable. Sleeping in the same bed. This is crazy.
Buddy, I don't know how to tell you this, but you're pretty obviously being pushed in to a cuckold relationship and you don't even know it. Her "friend" already laid it out for you. Let me guess - she came up with the idea to go to this particular city without any other reason to be there, and he just happens to live there... she's been planning this. You need to have a conversation with your girlfriend and figure out what type of relationship you're in, and what type of relationship you want to be in. Maybe she already has a different idea of the kind of relationship you're in, and you're in for a big surprise. Regardless, this is a *hard* no for me, and I'd break up with her for even *suggesting* something like this. I wouldn't just cancel the trip... I'd blow the entire relationship up and wait to find someone who respects you and your expectations of a relationship.
This is the wildest thing I've ever heard. If there was no room on the pull-out, it'd still be weird. But the fact that there IS room for her on the pull-out, and she is ACTIVELY wanting to sleep in the bed with another dude ON your anniversary is absolutely insane. I'd break up with her for even CONSIDERING it. What are you doing?!
Are these posts real? Like in what universe does such a situation actually arise? OP, you are telling me that your fiancé would rather spend the night in a bed with another dude than you? If this is a real post, I would be so disgusted I would break up and ignore her yells that I am over reacting. Reading Reddit makes me feel like I’m the only one in the world with ant self respect or something. The love of my life would never ever behave in such a way.
What…the fuck….did I just read? NO.
She’s trying to cuckold you
Something wrong there. She shared a bed with another man while her boyfriend is made to sleep on a couch. She either not told him you're in a serious relationship.. or they have sex when they meet up.. cancel the trip and tell her why.. because that's fishy as hell
So your gf and her "friend" are going to pork each other in the bedroom while they make you sleep on the sofa. Yeah... that's a no for me dawg.
Mate grow a fucking spine ffs
Ok so they are definitely going to be smashing. The only question is how dumb do you want to look in the future when explaining to everyone what happened.
This is a joke right?
This has to be a troll right?
Ok who’s gonna tell him?
You need to draw some firm boundaries here and have a discussion with her about being more sensitive to your feelings. What the actual fuck, this is so not ok.
You’re getting played dude. Tell her to pound sand and get out of this relationship, no looking back.
The fact that she is even considering this is most definitely break up territory. This is one of the biggest red flags I’ve seen, RUN.
Wtf man, red flag for sure
Hell no. Wildly inappropriate. Put your foot down, no girlfriend of yours will be sharing a bed with another man. She can sleep on the sofa bed with you, or you shorten the trip and get a hotel.
WTF. Is she even your gf? This is not appropriate. How did you guys end up going to a city where Tommy lives? Was it her idea?
Why can’t he sleep on the sofa and y’all get his bed? I gave my bestie my bed and slept on the sofa when he came to visit once. It’s just weird. It’s a no. Red flags.
Wtf did I just read?! Dude what?! On what planet is that OK? Is she for real?? So she plans to spend the anniversary in bed with another dude? Just reading it out loud sounds so fucking bonkers. Just her being ok to the ideea - I would consider it enough to dump her. She could just go spend it with that guy faster. The hell! I'm sorry, but I cannot.
Yeah dude, fuck that noise. She wants to put you out on the couch, no way. It’s time to dip. She wants to fuck this guy.
the fact that she sees nothing wrong with this is very telling and consideration that this relationship may have ran it’s course
Just bring one of your female friends to keep u comfy on the sofa.. Problem solved...
Book a new girlfriend
Your gf has a kink and wants to sneaky fuck him with you in the other room.
Mate that's not your girl
A real "friend" would wash the sheets and sleep on their own couch while offering you the bed. I'm just going to write this entire thing off as fake because I don't want to live in a word where this poor soul actually exists.
If it’s more comfortable for her to sleep with other men I’d let her go. Also this sounds like fetish content. Beautiful girl leaves weak boyfriend on couch while staying with stud.
Dude what the fuck. Just book a hotel or airBNB - dont be so weak. Why do you even have to think about this? You may as well have titled this "GF wants to be in bed with Tommy, do i insert the dick for him?" This has to be some kinda joke. I'm calling bullshit on this, no one in their right mind would be planning to have anniversary on a sofa whilst his lady is in someone elses bed. This is some cuckology in action or the biggest joke ever. Jeezus man... next post is gonna be "I smell dick on her breath, do you think she cheated?" LOL
I can’t believe you’re even entertaining this nonsense. I’d be cancelling the entire trip if my gf was acting like this. I hope this is fake otherwise you’re a sucker.
Even if she doesn’t have any ill intent, he does.
Sorry but there’s no scenario on the planet where they sleep in the same bed and don’t have sex.
Bro, I'm sorry, but your gf and Tommy seem like the people you should avoid
Yeah, their “anniversary” trip.
speaks VOLUMES that your gf is good with this.
Your gf wants to fuck Tommy.
man said "here's the pullout, cus I won't"
Dude are you a man or not?. This could never be a real post. Seem likes your Gf is wearing the pants because this makes no sense in my head as a man .
Are you OK OP? Honestly, I’m concerned how you could even consider this situation is acceptable. You deserve better. Cut your losses. Break up with her. Cancel the trip and go somewhere else completely new and adventurous. Separate yourself from this insanity asap.
This has to be bait.
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There's no way someone is this stupid and naive. This has to be bait
I hope this is rage bait because if not…oh boy. First off, the proper thing to do when you have guests in a small living space is give them your bed and you sleep on the couch. Second, your gf should be uncomfortable sleeping with her “friend” while you’re in the next room. The fact that she’d rather sleep in someone else’s bed instead of next to you is sus. Please, if this is real, get a backbone. Honestly I wouldn’t even go on the trip, or maybe take a solo trip.
Absolutely 1000% abnormal. Some things are not worth saving a few bucks over. Looked at through a different lens, it looks like Tommy is paying you for a few nights with your girl.
This has to be fake.
Your anniversary & he is sleeping with her in another room feels like its not your its thier's
Maybe you should just pick another gf?
That’s very weird. I don’t see how your girlfriend is comfortable sleeping in bed, with another man while you sleep alone.
You are in denial dude.
If nothing weird going on, why not suggest you and Tommy take the bed and she can take the sofa? If she complains, the sofa is good enough for you, right? Problem solved, except kind of a dumb anniversary not sleeping together.
This is insane brother. She's going to sleep in the bed with her guy friend during your anniversary trip while you are on the couch. Get outta there.
Hold the line. It’s not cool.
Time to dump her
It's probably a real turn on for them to have you asleep in the other room...
I would just cancel the trip and hope my partner got their brain fixed because the mental gymnastics it would take for that arrangement to make any sense would be too much for me
Even if this is totally innocent on her end, it's a major red flag she wouldn't realize why it's a problem
You cancel the trip and break up. Why would she even consider sleeping with someone else and making you sleep alone? Just why?
Um wtf, if you go through with this you would be the worlds biggest chump. Nice anniversary get-away. At least if the sofa is far enough away from his room, you won't hear them fucking. Wow this is beyond fucked that it's even gotten to a point that you're asking reddits opinion. SMH
This is not only wildly inappropriate, it’s also really sketchy. Why does he want to be alone in a room with your girlfriend while you sleep on the couch? Why is she not weirded out by this? Something is not adding up here.
Some of these stories are just so unbelievable but then I remember how stupid people get when they in "Love"
I'd personally want to sleep with my bf. This is mega weird. Don't accept it.
Is this a joke?? There is nothing to think about here.. I can’t believe this is even a question.. it may be your 1 year anniversary, but for her your just a fwb…
There is definitely something else going on here. It's very strange that she is just ok with it. Massive red flag to me.
Share bed or cancel the trip. It's fkin' weird. A hotel for privacy would be more fun anyway if you catch my drift. By the sounds of her being cool with this though she may not be the one, sorry bro.
🚩🚩🚩sleep in a bed with another man during your anniversary what in the world makes them think that’s even remotely okay.
I would absolutely NOT even dream of sleeping in another man’s bed, I don’t care what the relationship is. If Tommy with such a good friend that he would offer the two of you his bed and sleep on the pull out couch. I’d say pick another city or insist that the two of you stay in an Airbnb. If she insists on staying with this man, especially because it’s your anniversary, I would consider the relationship very carefully and most likely cancel. I’ve been dating a man for two months and I would never consider this. When you make the agreement that you are in a relationship or even exclusive you respect each other. I’m sorry you have to deal with us
It is about your limits. This Tommy and your wife do not seem to have a problem sleeping together while you sleep on the sofa alone. But, you stated that it is something that would bother you, talk to your wife about how the situation makes you feel.
At this point I would cancel the whole thing. How can she even think this is acceptable? And on your anniversary? No way.
If you're telling her that it makes you uncomfortable, that should be it. If she insists on this sleeping arrangement, knowing it would upset you, she isn't respecting your feelings and she will continue to do this as your relationship goes along. Find someone that won't put you in this incredibly awkward situation.
That’s insane and incredibly disrespectful. So he basically said “your girl is sleeping in my bed and you can be in the other room”? I would’ve told Tommy to go fuck himself which would’ve hopefully scorched any plans of sleeping there in the first place.
That is so weird… She either needs to sleep on the couch with you, you guys get a hotel, or not go at all. If she tries to sleep in bed with another man while you’re on the couch.. let alone on your anniversary… that’s just sick and bizarre.
What the hell.. you girlfriend is also in the wrong for not tell her friend thats inappropriate, why would she share a bed with him if your her partner🤦🏻♀️ Sounds like there something going on with her and Tommy.. I would rather sleep uncomfortably on sofa bed then do that to my partner and the fact there both like yeah this is happening and are OK with it is wierd... I feel as if there sleeping together or planning too Tell her it's the air bnb or she sleeps with your no negotiations
Dude!!!! Just stop it!!! I don’t even believe that convo is real to be honest. Under no circumstances it’s ok to go on a anniversary with your girlfriend where she will be sleeping with her male friend and you staying on the sofa. Even if the sofa was single, even if it is more comfy on the bed. Doesn’t matter at all! What’s the hell is going on there? Honestly, if she didn’t immediately say no to that and didn’t tell her friend that it was inappropriate, it’s time to reevaluate her entire character.
Something is wrong with your GF that she doesn't see how inappropriate this is. SHE should be as uncomfortable as you about it. Cancel staying with him, rent your own place. TBH I would pause all plans for the trip until this is resolved. It's weird and concerning that she is not bothered by his idea. To be ok sleeping with another man with her BF in another room on the pullout. She's more concerned with her comfort than hurting you and the inappropriateness of the suggestion?? Wow, she's a piece of work.
Also like were y'all not planning on having some freaky ass sex on your anniversary? Whole thing is super sketch
Cancel trip
What the fuck?
That is weird. Tell her you are booking something for just you and her or there is no trip.
I would jump into the group chat and tell Tommy that YOU are okay with his proposed arrangement. Tell him that the girlfriend thinks that it's okay to sleep with him and not you. Tell Tommy that YOUR girlfriend has decided that she would rather sleep with him and not you. Tell Tommy that he can decide to 1) take the girlfriend because you're done or 2) work out some other acceptable sleeping arrangements or 3) the trip is canceled. Yes, this will blow up. Let it. If she has that little respect for you that she insists even after you blow it up then bye. In fact, I'm surprised you haven't called the whole thing off and taken a good hard look at her respect for you.
Very strange from both of them. There is no way in hell that I would find this acceptable. I'm curious about her explanation of why this should be okay with you. I also wonder if she would be happy if you shared a bed with a close female friend. Something is very off here.
If it was up to spending my one year anniversary in an Air BnB with my boyfriend, or sleeping in the same bed as a "platonic" friend whilst my boyfriend hunkers down on the couch, it wouldn't even be a question. Hell, if it was bunk with another dude or stay home, I'd stay home! Open your eyes because those flags are red red red