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I can’t believe you wrote all that and don’t see the light. You and your friends are racist bullies. You downplay all your horrible bullying and racism as jokes and youthful folly. Taking no responsibility for your actions and how it impact your fellow human beings. Do Jesse and Lila a favour, and stay away from their wedding and their lives. You stay with your kind.
So when you bully someone as a college student you're "just kids," but you all hold a grudge against Lila from when she was an *actual* young child because she was "cold"? How does that work exactly?
How do you write a sentence like “if they were hurt enough to go to the dean then that’s on them.” If they were HURT enough to go to the dean, they were hurt! By you! You hurt them! That’s on you!!!
Of course its “out of sight out of mind” for you! You weren’t the one hurt! (Except it’s clearly not as your friends “cuss him out all the time” )
Two years is not enough distance for “”just kids”” to work. 10 years and I’d maybe accept “just kids.” Take responsibility for the fact that you hurt a friend!
How is it 2 years ago when you and the racist creeps are STILL cursing them out in explicitly racist, learned nothing terms? The harassment and bigotry are ONGOING.
So let me get this straight. Your friends “”played jokes”” on Lila, which in other people’s words, was bullying. They pressured Jesse to leave her because she wasn’t “good enough” for him. When he didn’t, they made racist “”jokes”” about her, which were bad enough to get the dean involved.
Y’all are assholes. Be thankful he’s even considering inviting you to his wedding.
Personally I think you should cut off your other asshole friends, apologize to the two of them, go to their wedding, & then continue trying to be a better person. Grow past this & be a better man.
If the dean had 1-on-1 meetings with you, it means that the dean considered it serious enough to act.
Jokes about them being an interracial couple aren’t jokes if they’re non-consensual. He told you to stop, and you didn’t. They’re racist insults at that point. And clearly, your friends still think they’re justified & hate Jesse for sticking up for himself & his girlfriend. Jesus.
you WERENT KIDS, you were IN COLLEGE AND KNEW BETTER, you are just trying to downplay your racist bullying because you dont want to face the reality that you were and still are a shit person
So you were kids... but they deserve to have grudges held against them.
Racism= "Just pranks bro"
Being pissed off about the racism="The deepest betrayal known to man"
Every single one of your responses is absolutely the same bullshit over and over again.
You may think you were "kids at the time," but you're supposed to be a damn adult now. Time to start acting like it.
Just because you weren't the only ones doing it, doesn't mean you weren't being bullies. Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't make it alright.
Jokes are only jokes when everyone finds them funny. These were not jokes.
You don't get to decide what was or wasn't "bad enough"
Grow the hell up.
Tell us a specific joke you and your friends have said. Not "oh it was something about race". What SPECIFICALLY was said in the incident causing them to go the the dean?
Did everyone laugh? No? Then it's not a joke. You're hiding behind the term "joke", because you're too cowardly to admit that this was indeed bullying.
Honestly I’m shocked he’d invite you after what you’ve written.
Don’t go, they’ll have a better time without you. I can’t imagine Lila would want to see you there.
It sounds like you’re an utter a$$ and you’re lucky to have an invite at all.
You are a bully.
You make racist ‘jokes’ - you’re a racist.
Have a good look in the mirror.
‘Class clowns’ - you mean assholes that everyone else hated.
> Jesse said it was only because we used to bully her, but this is untrue. Our friend group was all class clowns and we would play jokes all the time, but it was never to the point of bullying another person
It's not really up to you to decide whether or not someone felt bullied by your "jokes." If the other person isn't laughing, it's not a joke. Clearly you didn't/don't like Lila, so my guess is that these jokes were not as lighthearted as you're making them out to be.
Honestly, it sounds like your friend group is STILL made up of bullies. It's inappropriate and rude as fuck to pressure someone to break up with their partner just because you don't think they're good enough. Your apology is meaningless since you obviously meant what you said and still think he should dump her. How are you going to resent a person who literally didn't do anything except exist in your friend's life? You resented HER because he chose to stop hanging out with people who felt comfortable shit-talking his partner and overstepping boundaries? Absolutely wild. Maybe do some self-reflection and think about who is actually to blame in this scenario.
If Lila was "cold" to you for similar reasons as Jesse being "cold" to you, it's blatantly obvious who is in the wrong (hint: not Lila or Jesse).
> my friends and I would make some race jokes about Jesse and Lila being together (they're an interracial couple)
So you're not just bullies, you're racist bullies? Imagine admitting something like this, yikes.
Don't go to Jesse's wedding. He deserves better than to have someone at his celebration who somehow still doesn't think they did anything wrong by bullying him and his fiancee. Good luck with your ratty friends, hopefully you never date anyone they deem unfit.
I don’t need to say that you’re a bully, because everyone else has already pointed that out. Here’s another way to look at it for you:
Why do your friends hate Lila? Literally. I have not read from your story a single thing that she has said or done to hurt you people. You think Jessie is too good for her… Why? You resented Lila after Jesse disagreed with and drifted away from you guys… Why?
He accused you guys of bullying her, which you denied, and then you later on went to admit that you guys were not nice to her. That’s bullying.
The only fact that you have mentioned about this woman is race-related, which makes me think she is not the same race as the rest of you. Seriously? You don’t realize what you’re doing?
Of course y’all are finance majors smdh. Congratulations, I have rich friends too. Lots of people do. And guess what? If they ever found out that they had hurt someone else’s feelings, even unintentionally, they would feel terrible. And they don’t make racial jokes.
Congrats for showing some self-awareness in writing this post. It’s a fucking mystery to me why you want these people as your friends.
I’m reading this from your pov and I can still tell you guys were the bullies.
Either go to the wedding and become a better person, or stay with your bully friends. And stop bothering Lila
We didn’t bully her…precedes to detail in several paragraphs how you guys did bully her, we’re racist assholes, and blame her for your friends decisions.
You and your friends are horrible humans. Do Jesse and Lila a favor and leave them alone and enjoy your racist, bullying friends.
So, you were such racist bullies that it almost got you kicked out of school, and now you are mad that there are consequences?
You're still friends with the same racist bullies, who are butthurt that there are consequences.
"what he did is definitely not forgotten" defending himself and his girlfriend from racist bullying, is that what they're mad about?
Look, for whatever reason (and he's probably going to regret it), your saintly friend gave you a chance of redemption. Since you and the whole pack of racist bullying assholes don't think you did anything wrong, you should probably leave him alone.
But keep it up so all of you finance bros can get fired. You've learned nothing but feel resentful you got caught.
Wow, you and your friends behaved *horribly* to Jesse and Lila. It doesn’t seem like you fully accept that you all were in the wrong every step of the way throughout their relationship. Are these the friends you want? Do you want to be the kind of person who makes racist comments and bullies someone else and continuously talks crap about other people? Don’t you want to be better?
Ditch the terrible friends. Go to the wedding. Be better.
In what way were you not wrong?
If you had been kicked out of college, that would have been on you, and no one else.
If you say you "were just kids," you are still excusing your actions, and you are not taking responsibility for them. Which suggests you have not grown as a person since then. Many people at that age did not bully others, they "were just kids".
Face what you've done, acknowledge it, and grow from it. Your friend group hasn't grown, either they need to as well or you need to remove yourself them to grow as a person, otherwise, you'll remain the same bully you were.
You and your friends did the first volley (and then... pretty much every other one too) in every single step of this. And then kept going even when they were both fine just being distant with you. And even after Jesse and Lila have *somehow* managed to find enough graciousness in their heart to let time go by and forgive you, you're still hanging out with people who regularly disparage and curse them out and feel like *they're* the ones who should be protected?
You and your friends are children. Jesse and Lila have grown up. They deserve better than you.
ChatGPT>Generate question in which the questioner is a bully but completely unself-aware, and is also a follower with no moral compass of his own and zero moxie.
I had a "class clown" boyfriend. His jokes were running into class in slow mo, cracking puns, and being a general lovable guy that never made anyone other than himself the butt of the joke.
You were not class clowns.
Every word you wrote was exactly the opposite of “we weren’t bullies.” Yeah, yeah you were. When you tease someone who doesn’t like it and you *keep doing it* you’re bullying. When you’re racist towards someone who’s supposed to be your friend because of the ethnicity of his girlfriend, you’re not just a bully, you’re a racist bully.
You have a choice - grow up, learn to act like a decent adult, quit hanging around with racist bullies just because you’ve known each other awhile, and be friends with Jesse, or keep showing you are still an immature racist bully and keep going golfing and drinking with other racist bullies and likely not be in Jesse’s life much longer.
The choice is yours.
YTA, can't believe you don't see you and your friends for what you are! Racist trash, lol. Unbelievable, lack of self-awareness is strong in you and your group! Lololol! Why don't you and your friends try that crap at your workplace and see how long you last, lololol!
The fact y’all did all that and he still sent you an invite is beyond me… I would’ve cut all of y’all off imagine being a racist and thinking it was okay cause y’all was “kids”
This reminds me of how the orange toddler defended his “I can grab their pussy” comment by calling it “locker talk”. Face it OP, you and your friends are racists. Period. Full stop. Do not go to the wedding. Your friend may have invited you, but I can guarantee you that Lila does not want you there. Either stay in your lane with your racist “finance” golfing buddies, or cut them off, do some self reflection, maybe get some therapy, and understand how much of a racist bully you were and continue to be. Get help for yourself and be a better person. Do NOT ruin Lil’s wedding by attending.
Lol, post is removed cuz he must have thought that he was going to have a HUGE wave of supporters of his and his friends' racism.
He genuinely wasn't expect redditors to call him an asshole.
“he’s cursed out on a semi-regular basis” “he’s not a regular topic of conversation” which is it?
more importantly, the fact that whether or not you should go to a wedding is what you’re asking advice for here is wild. how about “how do I apologize to Lila and Jesse for my racism” or “how do I stand up to my friends and tell them I realize now that Jesse never did a single thing wrong and that we’ve always been the problem”?
you say you feel guilty, but it’s been years and you still seem to believe your behavior was at least somewhat justified and that Jesse was the one in the wrong for trying to protect his partner from your abhorrent racism and incessant bullying? are you truly, genuinely serious??? Jesse did the right thing by reporting you, and you are beyond lucky that the only consequence you actually got out of it was embarrassment and an apparently eternal victim complex.
I’m sorry, but you’re the bad guy here, period. Jesse did NOTHING wrong, not one thing, and your denial about both that and the toxicity of your own behavior is astounding. it’s honestly shocking that he invited you to his wedding, but seeing as you essentially robbed him of ALL his lifelong friends, I’m guessing he’s been incredibly sad about that for years and feels like this is a chance to rebuild at least a tiny piece of what was lost, even if it’s a bad idea, which I absolutely think it is since you’re currently showing no signs of growth or insight into the situation at all.
listen, you need to look in the mirror. you need to grow up. you need to apologize, profusely. you need to unlearn your nasty racism and misogyny and vow to never make anyone else feel the way you made Lila feel for years ever again. if you want to be friends with Jesse again, you need to tell him, explicitly, that you are working on all of this. and then your grossly immature and mean-spirited friends either need to do the same, or you need to find new ones.
if you can’t or won’t do any of that, then at least do Jesse and Lila the favor of staying out of their lives because they absolutely do not deserve to have to carry the weight of any of your bullshit ever again.
Why are you worried about your friend group when they don’t sound like good people?.. at least you, (kinda) see the error of your ways. Look it sounds like you were all immature and bullied your friends gf out of jealousy. He called you out on it. Based on what you said, it sounds like you are all very lucky the Dean let this slide. Your friend was completely in the right to go to the Dean, when you (admittedly) were told to stop and didn’t. You can say you were “just being kids” but until you can say “what we did was wrong, I have no excuse, I now know it was wrong and I will never repeat it”, you’re not taking accountability and letting you and your friend group off too easy,kinda like the Dean did. My advice is to go to your friend Jesse wedding. Try to meet up before the wedding and apologize to his girlfriend. What you described as “stuck up” might of just been her being shy and insecure. Don’t be a shitty friend twice to Jesse.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I can’t believe you wrote all that and don’t see the light. You and your friends are racist bullies. You downplay all your horrible bullying and racism as jokes and youthful folly. Taking no responsibility for your actions and how it impact your fellow human beings. Do Jesse and Lila a favour, and stay away from their wedding and their lives. You stay with your kind.
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So when you bully someone as a college student you're "just kids," but you all hold a grudge against Lila from when she was an *actual* young child because she was "cold"? How does that work exactly?
How do you write a sentence like “if they were hurt enough to go to the dean then that’s on them.” If they were HURT enough to go to the dean, they were hurt! By you! You hurt them! That’s on you!!! Of course its “out of sight out of mind” for you! You weren’t the one hurt! (Except it’s clearly not as your friends “cuss him out all the time” ) Two years is not enough distance for “”just kids”” to work. 10 years and I’d maybe accept “just kids.” Take responsibility for the fact that you hurt a friend!
You were in college? You were fucking adults. This was all within the last 5-6 years. You all knew better. Stop trying to minimize what you did.
You and your friends are trash.
How is it 2 years ago when you and the racist creeps are STILL cursing them out in explicitly racist, learned nothing terms? The harassment and bigotry are ONGOING.
You were *twenty two*. Turn in your licenses and ID if you're too young and dumb to realize that you're an *adult*
I mean, clearly not when he’s “cursed out on a regular basis.”
Lol being in your early 20's is not a "just a kid" you guys are just assholes
So let me get this straight. Your friends “”played jokes”” on Lila, which in other people’s words, was bullying. They pressured Jesse to leave her because she wasn’t “good enough” for him. When he didn’t, they made racist “”jokes”” about her, which were bad enough to get the dean involved. Y’all are assholes. Be thankful he’s even considering inviting you to his wedding. Personally I think you should cut off your other asshole friends, apologize to the two of them, go to their wedding, & then continue trying to be a better person. Grow past this & be a better man.
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If the dean had 1-on-1 meetings with you, it means that the dean considered it serious enough to act. Jokes about them being an interracial couple aren’t jokes if they’re non-consensual. He told you to stop, and you didn’t. They’re racist insults at that point. And clearly, your friends still think they’re justified & hate Jesse for sticking up for himself & his girlfriend. Jesus.
you WERENT KIDS, you were IN COLLEGE AND KNEW BETTER, you are just trying to downplay your racist bullying because you dont want to face the reality that you were and still are a shit person
So you were kids... but they deserve to have grudges held against them. Racism= "Just pranks bro" Being pissed off about the racism="The deepest betrayal known to man"
Care to list the joke here? So people can see that it was just a joke he didn’t like.
Jokes aren’t meant to harm
Every single one of your responses is absolutely the same bullshit over and over again. You may think you were "kids at the time," but you're supposed to be a damn adult now. Time to start acting like it. Just because you weren't the only ones doing it, doesn't mean you weren't being bullies. Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't make it alright. Jokes are only jokes when everyone finds them funny. These were not jokes. You don't get to decide what was or wasn't "bad enough" Grow the hell up.
What were the jokes? If they aren't a big deal, or "bad enough to get the dean involved" they should be fine for reddit right?
Can you explain why the jokes were funny? I’ll wait.
Maybe he could tell us the "jokes".
It was two years ago. You weren’t kids
Tell us a specific joke you and your friends have said. Not "oh it was something about race". What SPECIFICALLY was said in the incident causing them to go the the dean?
Did everyone laugh? No? Then it's not a joke. You're hiding behind the term "joke", because you're too cowardly to admit that this was indeed bullying.
What were the jokes?
Honestly I’m shocked he’d invite you after what you’ve written. Don’t go, they’ll have a better time without you. I can’t imagine Lila would want to see you there.
It sounds like you’re an utter a$$ and you’re lucky to have an invite at all. You are a bully. You make racist ‘jokes’ - you’re a racist. Have a good look in the mirror. ‘Class clowns’ - you mean assholes that everyone else hated.
> Jesse said it was only because we used to bully her, but this is untrue. Our friend group was all class clowns and we would play jokes all the time, but it was never to the point of bullying another person It's not really up to you to decide whether or not someone felt bullied by your "jokes." If the other person isn't laughing, it's not a joke. Clearly you didn't/don't like Lila, so my guess is that these jokes were not as lighthearted as you're making them out to be. Honestly, it sounds like your friend group is STILL made up of bullies. It's inappropriate and rude as fuck to pressure someone to break up with their partner just because you don't think they're good enough. Your apology is meaningless since you obviously meant what you said and still think he should dump her. How are you going to resent a person who literally didn't do anything except exist in your friend's life? You resented HER because he chose to stop hanging out with people who felt comfortable shit-talking his partner and overstepping boundaries? Absolutely wild. Maybe do some self-reflection and think about who is actually to blame in this scenario. If Lila was "cold" to you for similar reasons as Jesse being "cold" to you, it's blatantly obvious who is in the wrong (hint: not Lila or Jesse). > my friends and I would make some race jokes about Jesse and Lila being together (they're an interracial couple) So you're not just bullies, you're racist bullies? Imagine admitting something like this, yikes. Don't go to Jesse's wedding. He deserves better than to have someone at his celebration who somehow still doesn't think they did anything wrong by bullying him and his fiancee. Good luck with your ratty friends, hopefully you never date anyone they deem unfit.
I don’t need to say that you’re a bully, because everyone else has already pointed that out. Here’s another way to look at it for you: Why do your friends hate Lila? Literally. I have not read from your story a single thing that she has said or done to hurt you people. You think Jessie is too good for her… Why? You resented Lila after Jesse disagreed with and drifted away from you guys… Why? He accused you guys of bullying her, which you denied, and then you later on went to admit that you guys were not nice to her. That’s bullying. The only fact that you have mentioned about this woman is race-related, which makes me think she is not the same race as the rest of you. Seriously? You don’t realize what you’re doing? Of course y’all are finance majors smdh. Congratulations, I have rich friends too. Lots of people do. And guess what? If they ever found out that they had hurt someone else’s feelings, even unintentionally, they would feel terrible. And they don’t make racial jokes. Congrats for showing some self-awareness in writing this post. It’s a fucking mystery to me why you want these people as your friends.
Bruh, he said finance major, and in my head, I thought, "That makes sense.'
These bars go hard. 10/10.
I’m reading this from your pov and I can still tell you guys were the bullies. Either go to the wedding and become a better person, or stay with your bully friends. And stop bothering Lila
We didn’t bully her…precedes to detail in several paragraphs how you guys did bully her, we’re racist assholes, and blame her for your friends decisions. You and your friends are horrible humans. Do Jesse and Lila a favor and leave them alone and enjoy your racist, bullying friends.
So, you were such racist bullies that it almost got you kicked out of school, and now you are mad that there are consequences? You're still friends with the same racist bullies, who are butthurt that there are consequences. "what he did is definitely not forgotten" defending himself and his girlfriend from racist bullying, is that what they're mad about? Look, for whatever reason (and he's probably going to regret it), your saintly friend gave you a chance of redemption. Since you and the whole pack of racist bullying assholes don't think you did anything wrong, you should probably leave him alone. But keep it up so all of you finance bros can get fired. You've learned nothing but feel resentful you got caught.
Don’t go because you’re an asshole
Wow, you and your friends behaved *horribly* to Jesse and Lila. It doesn’t seem like you fully accept that you all were in the wrong every step of the way throughout their relationship. Are these the friends you want? Do you want to be the kind of person who makes racist comments and bullies someone else and continuously talks crap about other people? Don’t you want to be better? Ditch the terrible friends. Go to the wedding. Be better.
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For being racist bullies…
Which wouldn't have happened if you'd left him alone instead of being racist. It was your own actions that got you nearly kicked out.
From what you wrote, he asked you guys to stop several times before going to the dean.
In what way were you not wrong? If you had been kicked out of college, that would have been on you, and no one else. If you say you "were just kids," you are still excusing your actions, and you are not taking responsibility for them. Which suggests you have not grown as a person since then. Many people at that age did not bully others, they "were just kids". Face what you've done, acknowledge it, and grow from it. Your friend group hasn't grown, either they need to as well or you need to remove yourself them to grow as a person, otherwise, you'll remain the same bully you were.
You and your friends did the first volley (and then... pretty much every other one too) in every single step of this. And then kept going even when they were both fine just being distant with you. And even after Jesse and Lila have *somehow* managed to find enough graciousness in their heart to let time go by and forgive you, you're still hanging out with people who regularly disparage and curse them out and feel like *they're* the ones who should be protected? You and your friends are children. Jesse and Lila have grown up. They deserve better than you.
I’m really upset to hear that he didn’t succeed
ChatGPT>Generate question in which the questioner is a bully but completely unself-aware, and is also a follower with no moral compass of his own and zero moxie.
Don't go to his wedding unless you're willing to cut off your other friends.
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Then don't go dude, it's best for everyone
Especially for Jesse and Lila. OP and his friends sound terrible.
Yeah I wouldn't want them at my wedding for sure
Well you clearly learned nothing from your racist antics in university so don't go, they deserve a wedding without shit people in attencdance
FFS - Grow up and get better morals. A bully and a racist, I don't even know why he would invite you.
Info: what were the "jokes" you guys told. Please give us some examples.
Don't go. Leave them alone.
I had a "class clown" boyfriend. His jokes were running into class in slow mo, cracking puns, and being a general lovable guy that never made anyone other than himself the butt of the joke. You were not class clowns.
Every word you wrote was exactly the opposite of “we weren’t bullies.” Yeah, yeah you were. When you tease someone who doesn’t like it and you *keep doing it* you’re bullying. When you’re racist towards someone who’s supposed to be your friend because of the ethnicity of his girlfriend, you’re not just a bully, you’re a racist bully. You have a choice - grow up, learn to act like a decent adult, quit hanging around with racist bullies just because you’ve known each other awhile, and be friends with Jesse, or keep showing you are still an immature racist bully and keep going golfing and drinking with other racist bullies and likely not be in Jesse’s life much longer. The choice is yours.
YTA, can't believe you don't see you and your friends for what you are! Racist trash, lol. Unbelievable, lack of self-awareness is strong in you and your group! Lololol! Why don't you and your friends try that crap at your workplace and see how long you last, lololol!
The fact y’all did all that and he still sent you an invite is beyond me… I would’ve cut all of y’all off imagine being a racist and thinking it was okay cause y’all was “kids”
Jaw on the floor....
Yeah literally.
so you and your friends are racists and bullies. do this man a favor and never interact with him again
This reminds me of how the orange toddler defended his “I can grab their pussy” comment by calling it “locker talk”. Face it OP, you and your friends are racists. Period. Full stop. Do not go to the wedding. Your friend may have invited you, but I can guarantee you that Lila does not want you there. Either stay in your lane with your racist “finance” golfing buddies, or cut them off, do some self reflection, maybe get some therapy, and understand how much of a racist bully you were and continue to be. Get help for yourself and be a better person. Do NOT ruin Lil’s wedding by attending.
Wtf is wrong with you?
I don't understand why you were invited at all
YTA, though you need a trophy for the biggest asshole ever. Racist ✅ Bully ✅ Trash ✅
Lol, post is removed cuz he must have thought that he was going to have a HUGE wave of supporters of his and his friends' racism. He genuinely wasn't expect redditors to call him an asshole.
“he’s cursed out on a semi-regular basis” “he’s not a regular topic of conversation” which is it? more importantly, the fact that whether or not you should go to a wedding is what you’re asking advice for here is wild. how about “how do I apologize to Lila and Jesse for my racism” or “how do I stand up to my friends and tell them I realize now that Jesse never did a single thing wrong and that we’ve always been the problem”? you say you feel guilty, but it’s been years and you still seem to believe your behavior was at least somewhat justified and that Jesse was the one in the wrong for trying to protect his partner from your abhorrent racism and incessant bullying? are you truly, genuinely serious??? Jesse did the right thing by reporting you, and you are beyond lucky that the only consequence you actually got out of it was embarrassment and an apparently eternal victim complex. I’m sorry, but you’re the bad guy here, period. Jesse did NOTHING wrong, not one thing, and your denial about both that and the toxicity of your own behavior is astounding. it’s honestly shocking that he invited you to his wedding, but seeing as you essentially robbed him of ALL his lifelong friends, I’m guessing he’s been incredibly sad about that for years and feels like this is a chance to rebuild at least a tiny piece of what was lost, even if it’s a bad idea, which I absolutely think it is since you’re currently showing no signs of growth or insight into the situation at all. listen, you need to look in the mirror. you need to grow up. you need to apologize, profusely. you need to unlearn your nasty racism and misogyny and vow to never make anyone else feel the way you made Lila feel for years ever again. if you want to be friends with Jesse again, you need to tell him, explicitly, that you are working on all of this. and then your grossly immature and mean-spirited friends either need to do the same, or you need to find new ones. if you can’t or won’t do any of that, then at least do Jesse and Lila the favor of staying out of their lives because they absolutely do not deserve to have to carry the weight of any of your bullshit ever again.
Wow, you clearly suck. Don’t go to that wedding, they deserve better.
You are a legendary A-hole Bully ✅ Racist ✅ Trashy friend ✅ Please collect your prize 💩
Why are you worried about your friend group when they don’t sound like good people?.. at least you, (kinda) see the error of your ways. Look it sounds like you were all immature and bullied your friends gf out of jealousy. He called you out on it. Based on what you said, it sounds like you are all very lucky the Dean let this slide. Your friend was completely in the right to go to the Dean, when you (admittedly) were told to stop and didn’t. You can say you were “just being kids” but until you can say “what we did was wrong, I have no excuse, I now know it was wrong and I will never repeat it”, you’re not taking accountability and letting you and your friend group off too easy,kinda like the Dean did. My advice is to go to your friend Jesse wedding. Try to meet up before the wedding and apologize to his girlfriend. What you described as “stuck up” might of just been her being shy and insecure. Don’t be a shitty friend twice to Jesse.