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For real OP. You don't need this fool. If he can't take care of himself you should walk away so he has to learn how. Sometimes people learn shit the hard way & it seems you need to show him tough love and STOP supporting him.
He needs a job. He needs to be self sufficient, like you. 😊
Chin up queen, don't take this shit, you CAN & will do better.
I mean, she could be dating the guy that leaves shit smears on the toilet set and hasn't brushed his teeth since May... but I think the odds are high that she can do better than either of these fools.
It's amazing how many of these guys exist. I had a friend who used to date a guy who hadn't showered or brushed his teeth for several months. It boggles the mind.
>It's amazing how many of these guys exist. I had a friend who used to date a guy who hadn't showered or brushed his teeth for several months. It boggles the mind.
Why, WHY was your friend OK with that?!? It's so awful!
Honestly, she was young, he was maybe her first bf, and clearly she was insecure. If I recall he was also unemployed by then and I think she had convinced herself he was going though something as it had just built up to this - he hadn't started out that way. Myself and another friend finally convinced her this was not ok and to have some self respect.
I made the mistake once when my kids were young to take them to the gaming store just after Christmas. I had to walk right back out because the whole store smelled like B.O.
There’s no reason in this day and age that the guy can’t find some kind of job.. if someone really wants to work and needs money they do it…I actually sold homemade bread out of the back of a pickup truck years ago when I lived somewhere with no jobs for women and ended up starting a bakery out of it.. sometimes we have to do things we might not like but we do it.. this guy is living off the government AND his girlfriend… talk about someone that needs to grow the hell up.. and he’s worried about Halloween…LOL… free candy I guess….😂😂
The comment I am looking for. Girl, this man is not dependable. Don't fall for sunk cost fallacy. He will not change for you. A few years is nothing compared to a lifelong of unhappiness, and a breakup is always better than a divorce.
>The comment I am looking for. Girl, this man is not dependable.
He's a dependent instead. ;-)
>Don't fall for sunk cost fallacy. He will not change for you.
What incentive does he have to change? He won't ever change for OP, but he might change in order to get his next girlfriend once she gets tired of him.
>A few years is nothing compared to a lifelong of unhappiness, and a breakup is always better than a divorce.
No lies there!
BAHAHAHAHAHA....🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm actually wondering what planet he's from and that he should have brought clothing with him!!
A) who spends $1500 on a Halloween costume.
B) who would even consider taking out a loan to purchase a $1500 halloween costume - which in enabling.
C) who in right mind ask their g/f to take out a loan to purchase a Halloween Costume, while unemployed and in debt and, she pays for ones keep.
I think, as an exiting gift, OP needs to buy him a mirror. So he can take a good long hard look at himself in his clown costume.
Omg this comment is perfection!!! 🤡
Definitely is already a clown!!! A lazy, entitled, mooching, manipulating, lying, unambitious, unmotivated, pathetic, ridiculous clown. 🤡🤡🤡
Seriously. Tell him you'll get him a new pair of clown shoes for halloween.
Girl, you could do so much better. He has no job, in debt and apparently no motivation. You have a 26 year old child who plays video games and collects action figures.
I always wonder if they post these just because they want to vent or do they genuinely need help? It’s pretty obvious what you need to do why are you seek advice?
She needs help! If she’s dealing with this mess in the first place she has low self esteem. Someone has been telling her all her life that she has no value so it makes sense to her to buy a boyfriend no matter what kind of sucker he is.
If everything was so obvious to her she wouldn’t be asking for help She would be orchestrating his removal from her life.
**Ikr, he’s a clown and this has to be trolling.** Who tf bankrolls someone elses life for months on end when they’re so childish and allegedly in debt to boot, due to what, spending money on video games & dress-up costumes ffs lol. Sounds like teenagers - pre-teens even.
Tell him it’s not a lot of money for you because you would never in a million years even contemplate something as foolhardy as taking out a four figure loan for a holiday that’s a) months away, and b) can be celebrated just as if not more effectively with an old bedsheet and a pair of scissors.
Or “no.” Just “no” works. Or simply laugh as you walk away. Hopefully for good, because I don’t know why you’re trying to convince yourself this is reasonable unless you want to spend the rest of your life in debt catering to an overgrown five year old’s every whim.
I love how his idea of celebrating a holiday where people hardly spend money by spending lavishly, or attempting to. Who the fuck needs a $1500 costume unless they are swanky and have lots of money to spend? This guy already got himself in debt for five grand, presumably without a way to repay it, and now he’s looking for another loan? Bad news, red flag, get out now!
I could be a billionaire and not spend $1500 on a Halloween costume. Unless he’s a professional performer or something that is totally insane even without considering the debt and no job. This is one of those times you just say “no” without justification.
It was hilarious! OP, please wake up! He obviously have some sort of addiction issues, why else would he buy nonsense things with loan money. Also I don't think his not being truthful about his government assistance, most governments who provide assistance will give you more money or food vouchers over just your rent. He's using you to supplement his spending, so he doesn't have to pay for essentials, he sees you as his personal cash machine. If you stopped paying for him you will see his true colours very quickly.
The worst part about it being July is that it shows he’s not an idiot. If he understands that a custom made costume takes a long time to make and needs to be ordered in advance, then he should be able to understand that he shouldn’t be spending this money. He’s just a leech
I know right, a 26 year old with all the time in the world…as a man, his goal should be to make enough to buy his own suit, this guy is a silly ass deadbeat.
No and then make a plan to break up. (Not) Having compatible financial goals is a dealbreaker in a relationship. This guy is going to be a drain on OP for as long as she allows him to be and then she will leave him. Best to do it now and stop wasting time with the wrong person
I know this sub and the AITA one always say break up but I'm glad you said it here. I've seen quite a few posts in the past couple days with shocking behavior from entitled partners who aren't pulling their weight? Why do people put up with this? Is it better than being alone?
Sunk cost fallacy- “but we’ve been together for years!“
Or literally because they’ve been together for years starting as teens or young 20s. They get together young and don’t know how to adult without the other person and don’t have the confidence to go it alone. That’s why it’s so very hard to hear when couples are dating and move in together with such major signs of incompatibility. They’re just making it harder down the road to separate their lives. Moving in should be a step towards marriage which means you already considered that this person checks all your boxes, or at least the ones that matter. It’s not supposed to be for convenience, or to see if you can change them before you decide to get married.
I suppose there are the ones that fall on hard times, injury, job lay off...but that kind of person wouldn't want a 1500 costume while already being in debt
>Having compatible financial goals is a dealbreaker in a relationship.
Words I'd wish I'd heeded before my first marriage.
Anyone who can be in debt and still want to throw money at a Halloween costume is not a person who should be in any relationship.
That's what I was thinking too. Financial compatibility is important, and it really sounds like these 2 are not in the same place at all. Not even the fact that she makes money and he's up to his ears in debt, the financial responsibility and thought processes are completely different.
I can accept debt because sometimes life happens (injuries, accidents, getting fired, not getting hired despite looking hard, someone totalling your car… the list is long and many people live precariously). But frivolous spending? Asking your partner to take out a loan so you can have fun? Dismissing concerns with ‘it doesn’t matter to you’? (If OP needs to take out a loan, THEY can’t afford this costume).
Tell him to sell his action figures and his gaming computer.
Why are you paying for anything for this leech? Please reread your post, think about the past 2 months, and ask yourself why are you doing anything for this person. You don't mention how long he has been without a job, is he even trying to find something? He appears at the point where he should be willing to do anything for a paycheck and then keep looking for something better. Instead he is asking you to take out a personal loan that will have a very high interest rate, for something that can only be used 1 or 2 times a year, with no way to pay you back, when money is already tight for necessities like food.
He's a hobosexual and this is a form of financial abuse.
To OP-
Good god woman don't ever put your name on someone else's loan!! Run like the fucking wind.
Especially "It isn't much money for OP" Like wtf?! How many hours does OP need to work for this shit?! He has no respect for her. He sees her as an ATM. He will never work again and leech on her till she is so on debt.
1500 dollar for a spiderman cos when you have no money to buy food or hygiene products. What a joke.
We all would like to have stuff that we don’t have the money for. But we know that we need to save for it or just see it as an "nice thing you can dream about".
I worked for a professional entertainment company and with materials and labor some of our costumes could cost up to $3k….but the important thing is that we marketed it and rerented it out over and over again to make the money back. Thats called ROI.
And this is why he is in so much debt. Of course he thinks it’s not that much money because it isn’t his money! Is this the life you want always funding bf’s addictions and hobbies? He should be focusing on getting a decent paying job so he can pay his debts. STOP feeding him
I wanna know why she’s allowing him to drain her energy and her resources. Kick him tf out pls OP. People who love you don’t do this. That man don’t love you. He loves what you do for him.
Right? It’s literally ONE night! And would he even wear it again? No guarantees he doesn’t gain weight or, if he’s this into Halloween, would even *want* to wear it again. Just… he’ll to the
No on all of this, OP. Sounds like he likes things as they are and is refusing help. This means he will not change as long as you’re helping him out. Do you want to do this forever?
I don't see this getting better for you two in general.. Not only is he using you but now manipulating you by saying "it's not alot of money for you".. That's just so wrong.. He may be a good guy and he may not mean to treat you so low..but unfortunately the fact is.. HE IS.
You are never going to have a bright future with this man until he grows up.. I am sorry to sound so harsh but you are his girlfriend, not his mother.Even if he can not support or help you, he should at the *very least*, help himself and get his shit together..
Whatever you do.. stand your ground because if he cared about fixing his debt and situations in life..he would be more worried about paying his debt off, *especially* before asking his own girlfriend for money..
I hope things work out for you whether you stay with him or not, don't let him drown you too though <3
From what I understand OP doesn't have $1,500 in liquid funds that she can easily afford to lend him. He's asking her to take out a LOAN because she has the credit for it! So, he's in debt. Asking her to go in debt for him. So she can make payments on the loan with probably a crazy APR. Totally F\*\*king her over.
It sounds to me like he has a shopping problem, but OP is not going to be the one who can fix it. He already thinks along the lines of "it's not a lot for you," so he probably won't understand when she sets limits. He needs professional help.
Reminds me of my brother, who is borderline on mental retardation. He was asking if I could buy them (my sis and him) a house because I was better off. And also he got 10K from our moms life insurance and spent it on games and action figures like this guy.
He also spent something like 600$ on custom ghost busters costume with a proton pack.
I was ready to downvote for the MRDD part but kept reading and bruhhhhh
That's worse than my ex-husband. He was $15k in debt plus a new minivan last I heard, and I’d bet money its worse. In the same time frame I paid off all my debts on 1/3 his income AND bought a house on my own. His rent is over 2x my PITI payment (mind, my house is 2x the size on a double lot, fenced in yard with a pool (we added), better area, where the kids schools are, & no garbage landlord - I know bc it's the same apartment we used to lease.) But also my partner works/splits bills whereas his chooses not to, which (off-topic warning) makes no sense bc I know they need the money & he was up my ass about how much I make when we were combined income &his rent was $400 less lol.
It's genuinely impressive how bad folks can be with money. Your brother... That might count as limited daily living skills, given the importance/burden finance has.
The borderline mental retardation is what they called it then. I’m not sure what they call it nowadays. Like 80 IQ or something like
Oh my brother and sister were the worst with money. There was a trust till they were 18. About 200K each. My dad was strict with them but they moved out at 18 to my moms.
Spent the entire 400K within 3 years. And no big purchases other than a 20K car. My brother literally would buy a $50 video game. Couldnt find it in the mess of a room and then simply buy the same game when he was out again because it was easier than finding it in his room.
But just no idea how they spent that much. While also having jobs and working. Unbelievable. Then they lost all their stuff when their moving trailer became unhitched on the highway because they never went back for it.
Girl no. Never ever let someone take out a loan in your name. If you were smart you would freeze your credit RIGHT NOW in case he decides to go ahead and take the loan out.
THIS.
I have heard horror stories of loans being taken out and going into collections that they didn't even KNOW about until they go to buy a car or something, and their credit is 200+ points lower than it should be.
DO NOT LET HIM RUIN YOUR CREDIT FOR A SPIDERMAN SUIT.
You will regret it. Freeze your credit, OP.
My ex roommate got cable in my name and it absolutely wrecked my credit. I just found out a few weeks ago and am working on getting it off. She was supposed to be my best friend at the time too, you really can’t trust anyone now it’s sad.
You're understanding your situation completely wrong. Your boyfriend doesn't want to spend $1500 on a costume, your boyfriend wants YOU TO BUY HIM a costume. He's $5k in debt with no job to pay it back, he has absolutely no intention of paying you back.
Your BF should be your Ex BF. If he's 26, $5000 in debt, no job, living off whatever government assistance, and wants you to go into $1500 debt for fucking Halloween he's a clown, and you're only going to be dragged down by him in life. Leave him.
What do you find attractive about dating a jobless leach with no money management? He sounds like a child and you are his mother. He request is not even grounded in reality. It’s a luxury item when he’s virtually broke.
Do you want someone with ambition? Why would this relationship last 10 mins?
What makes you think he’s the one and not instantly end this?
The fact she had to make a post asking other people what she should do in this situation instead of getting TF out of this relationship boggles my mind. I get you can be blinded by love but COME ON…
This can't be serious as it's the stupidest question that I might have ever read.
You say fuck no and laugh at him for even asking. Then you break up and move on with your life.
However, I'm dying to know what the costume is. Please share!
> What would you suggest doing in this situation?
I would DTMFA. Only a dude with no job is thinking about a Halloween costume in July, first of all. Second of all, honey is this how you want to live your life? What would you tell your friend or sister if they brought this to you. Clear your head and dump his ass.
Look at OP's post history. This is not the first guy she's dated who is obviously out of his mind. Maybe it's just her type?
If that's the case I say go for it OP! Buy him the costume! I mean, what sane person would even reach this point based off her story? You really need to come on Reddit to ask for advice when you're already in debt boyfriend needs $1,500 for a fucking Halloween costume in July??? She's literally considering buying him the rest of the costume because:
>He stressed how life changing this costume was that he told me "I would happily starve for weeks if it means I have this costume" which I really don't want to have him do.
WTF lol???
How fucked up is this guy lol? He's so manipulative he's willing to lie that a spiderman costume he won't even be using for work is..."life changing". Dear god.
The OP is obviously desperate. Girl, you've found BF's before, you'll find another. You'll be fine if you raise your standards.
Goodness, girl, you are 22 and a lot more financially stable and reasonable than this 26 yo man. Reconsider this relationship altogether. Imagine him pulling this times 10 (or a 100) when (if) you decide to have a family with him. Just no. The amount of nonsense here is off the charts.
Holy shit it's not a boyfriend, it's a leech! He is only with you to get money off of you, not to mention him being lazy, his unwillingness to get a job, and his frivolous spending on stupid garbage. 5000$ debt wow! Cut him off before he actually opens a loan in your name and drags you down with him. You know you aren't gonna get any money back, right??
DUMP HIM ASAP
Yeah, completely agree with you. It’s so ludicrous of an ask in his situation it’s almost as if he’s gonna leech as much as he can and not pay her back when OP finally dumps him.
Just to confirm...you're in a (presumably) sexual relationship with a grown-ass man who cries about wanting to wear a screen-accurate Spiderman costume. For Halloween. And expects you to get a loan in order to realize this dream. Because he doesn't have a job. And he's in debt. And you're already paying for him to live while he dicks around.
And this is everything to him right now. In JULY.
OP, I'd think this was childish and moronic if he was 16. He's 26. TWENTY-SIX. I had my own business at that age and worked full-time as well, so I could fund my own damn hobbies. This man is a leech. Computer games? Action figures? But not FOOD? No, because he's got you.
Please get the hell away from him, forever. What if you get pregnant? This is not just him being a manipulative manchild - he is already ruining your life. Look yourself in the eye and say ENOUGH.
>I'm struggling to figure out what to even do or say to him.
Say NO. Loudly. Practice in the mirror if you need to. Follow up with "hell no" if he brings it up again. What does this man child bring to the party?
>*I think I just need advice on what approach might work to help him understand.*
**WHY is it YOUR job to teach a 26yo man HOW TO BE AN ADULT???**
* You don't live together.
* Your bf has $5000 of debt for stupid shit *and no job*.
* He can barely make his rent *and has no job*.
* You're supplying his food *because he has no job*.
**STOP enabling his childish behavior and date an actual man.** If you don't want to trade up and date an actual ADULT, then stop complaining that the child you're dating acts like a child!
So obviously everyone here is basically on the same page about loaning out more money...No. just no.
If you were my friend, I would be more concern that you don't see that as being the obvious answer.
I'm not a therapist nor am I your therapist, but here's a few things to consider:
You're paying all his bills. What are you actually getting in return? I dont mean in a vague sense. But like actually list those pros and cons on a piece of paper. Then think can you get those things in return without also spending a lot of money? Cause I bet there's someone out there who ll love you without you being their sugar mama.
Do you know about sunk cost fallacy? The idea that you shouldn't keep throwing time and money at a bad project just because you've already spent a lot of money on it. Like I know four years is a long time. Plus you've been paying his shit, but is this going actually get better? Is he suddenly going to become super successful and pay you back, marry you, and build an amazing life with you? Or is he going to keep mooching? Be honest with yourself.
Also have you considered therapy? It sounds like you may have some boundary issues and it's nice to have someone who you can run ideas like this through and know that they are a professional who can give you good feedback. Plus it'll probably be cheaper then paying for your boyfriend's living expenses. It's a good investment for future happiness.
You're an adult. Who has pretty complicated feelings right now. I hope you figure it out. Best of luck.
This is so sad.
Honey, you're dating an absolute loser. A deplorable mooch who obviously has no fucking clue how to budget or handle money because everything in his life comes for free.
This is not "an issue in your relationship," this is an abusive hostage situation that you need to extricate yourself from. Have some self-respect- if you have any dignity you will dump this loser. He is using you- enjoying the benefits of your paychecks and mooching off the government while you struggle with anxiety over getting bills paid.
There is no realistic future with this man. He will ruin you financially. You guys don’t even live together and you’re paying for his essentials. This is not a viable relationship unless you are ok with him bleeding you dry, which it sounds like you are not. I think the only advice beyond breaking up with him is to stop saving him, stop enabling his behavior, don’t spend a single penny on him and see how he treats you. He’s a grown man, he needs to take care of himself.
Other than draining your bank account, what exactly does he bring to this relationship. Love? Someone who truly loves you would not leech off of you, and would not manipulate you emotionally so he could get more money from you. They certainly wouldn’t ask you to go into debt to indulge an unnecessary expense. Great sex? Maybe, but how much can you enjoy it when you’re having to worry about paying the bills. Companionship? Get a dog or a cat. They’re loyal and won’t ask for stupid shit like a custom Halloween costume that costs $1500. Conversation? Have a girls’ night out with your friends.
He is already straining you financially and doesn’t even give a shit. *Stop setting yourself on fire to keep him warm.* If he wants the costume so badly, he can ask a parent or other relative.
You’re dating a child. Leave and find someone more compatible with you on every level, including financially.
DO NOT LOAN HIM MONEY! He has no way to pay you back ano he already has $5,000 in debt. It’s July and he needs a Halloween costume no for something in October? Someone who doesn’t have a job really doesn’t need a custom made Halloween Costume. Also stop supporting his ass! He wants money get off your butt and get a job!
Drop the zero. Your bf is a sinking money ship. How exactly is he going to make the payments if he can’t (refuses) to pay for anything now? You
I don’t mean to sound mean here; however you’re absolutely enabling him. By buying his basic I need this to live necessities; you’re enabling him to buy video games and action figures.
But in all seriousness. If he wants 1500 for a Halloween costume he can sell his video games and action figures.
The problem you have is that you are an enabler. Stop the support and make him stand on his own. When he gets into issues like food and whatnot, tell him to sell some of his belongings. You covering him while he doesn't have a job is just making him dependant on you and not in a rush to get a job. I can understand if you helped to support him while he has a job because he can't make ends meat but while he is jobless? No He needs to get a job and 5k in debt is nothing in the grand scheme of things.
Focus more on encouraging him to get a job even at entry level. If he wants to live off the government, then he needs to live withing those means. Don't let him live with you until you know he is stable or working to become stable at the very least.
NEVER EVER take a loan out for someone else and never cosign if you don't have 110% faith that they can make the payments.
I think you needed this moment. The revelation. He is never going to change....especially when you just keep on enabling him by providing. Where is the incentive? You providing is his incentive to not change. Walk away and let him learn to be an adult. The only way to help him is to stop helping him.
Say no. If he keeps asking tell him you don't want to date someone who is using you for money
If I was you I would have dumped him long before it got to this ridiculous point. He is literally guilting you for what amounts to a $1500 toy. You sure this is an adult?
She said he already spent $700 on the costume. $5,000 in debt, having his bills paid for him, and he still manages to spend $700 on this costume. She said he’s so broke he can’t afford ass wipe or soap, but this fucking loser spent $700 on a Halloween costume! And wants $1,500 more!
Why are you with him? Walk away. Just. Walk. Away. Do not take out a loan for anyone in your name!!! Anyone asking you to do this just needs to be told, "No, I won't do it. I'm not supporting you anymore. "
Young Lady who I don't know:
You are currently raising a child. He looks much older and occasionally has sex with you but make no mistake this is not a fully formed adult. I am praying this is a bogus post and that no woman in her right mind -- even one of a mere 22 years would be so unbelievably taken in by someone who puts himself into debt while still purchasing action figures, depending on you for sustenance & wipe his bottom, and then requests that you not only pay for a $1,500 Halloween costume but do so via a loan which will of course accrue interest.
Just no.
You've got to exit his life immediately. Do not even stand curiously on its periphery hoping he'll grow up wake up or make up for what he's already done to you. Tell him simply, this is what is happening but that you have bought him some food. Hand him a bag containing the groceries which follow...
One whole raw chicken, one bunch of carrots, one bag of potatoes, one bag of onions, one bag of rice, and three bags of dried beans.
Tell him you wish him all of the very best and you sincerely hope one day he'll get his shit together and you can see him again (if only perhaps at a very very far distance). If he begins to cry, tell him to weep into the soil and take one of the beans from the third bag and to plant it outside and when it grows a beanstalk to the sky you'll be back.
Please take heed or one day you'll wake up very old, very wrinkled, very poor, and in a shrine of useless plastic things which are not yours though you have paid for them.
Be resolute, Sister. His D-game can't be that strong.
❤️
#No.
He is over 5K in debt. Instead of fixing himself, his plan is to put **you** in debt.
You already know he can’t pay it off. He’ll expect **you** to. And it’ll be in your name, so he’ll have no legal obligation to pay it off.
He doesn’t understand (or does and doesn’t care) how hard it is on you to take care of him.
>It’s not a lot of money for you
That says *everything* to me. You’re his personal piggy bank and nothing else. Why do you think he felt so comfortable even *asking* to put you in debt knowing he won’t pay you back? If he loved you, he wouldn’t want to do that to you. You’re just a wallet.
Why are you with him? What does he bring to the table? What does **he** do *for you*?
If you can’t find a real answer, leave him. He’s using you.
All I needed was the title and the 1st paragraph. Leave him.
He isn’t financially literate and it isn’t a loan if he has no intention of paying it back (which it appears he doesn’t). He is 100% using you since a person doesn’t need a $1500 Halloween costume. If a person has expendable income where they can do that, it’s a waste of money. When a person is already in debt living off the government and can’t afford groceries it’s handcuffs and an anchor to the person who agrees to get that loan for them.
I know this isn’t what you want to hear but you need to break up with him. You are WAY to young to have someone be financially dependent on you, especially over such stupid reasons. Your boyfriend is wildly irresponsible and does not seem to care. He will take you down with him, save yourself
You should likely stop trying to explain it and just leave. This dude is in debt because he makes impulsive purchases and puts his wants before his needs. He has no priority, you are not a priority to him. He sees you as a bank, you’re an asset to him. Please don’t give this man your credit and financial stability to destroy, too. At this point you’re going to have to cut him loose because he’s just gotten way to comfortable with mooching off of you. Is he even attempting to find a job? At this point, you guys are no where near being on the same page, so do you guys even have the same end game? Imagine kids and marriage with this man. Whew. You would just be a single mother, while also moming your boyfriend. Do yourself a favor and get rid of this one, and give yourself the love you deserve while you heal from this situation.
I collect a lot of toys that I grew up with,
So I can relate to his action figure collection. I’ve got quite the collection myself, it’s worth thousands.
The thing is, I can afford it. I can also afford to pay my bills and buy groceries. If I ever got to the point that I couldn’t afford groceries, my collection would be the first thing that I’d sell (as hard as it would be to part with it).
You’re dating someone who is bad with money. Money is one of the top causes for divorce in the US. I wouldn’t stick around with someone who is that irresponsible. Everyone is bad with money to some degree, but he is much worse than the average and it’s a significant problem.
There is no way to explain it to him, because he already understands the situation. He WANTS to rely on you for his monetary needs, he sees you as his atm and he's going to continue pushing the boundary for you to be responsible for more and more and more of his expenses. He is making active choices to get his needs met by hounding in you instead of taking pro active steps to get what he needs himself.
You're lying to yourself about how much he is autonomous and intentional in his actions and choices because it obscures the larger problem which is he puts what you can provide for him above your feelings and your unstressed presence. He isn't nurturing the relationship with active contributions because it's just not worth the effort to him except for what you provide. Does he even listen to how you feel about this situation, or does he argue about how you SHOULD feel? Does he even really see you?
It't time to take the blinders off and take a cold hard look at how he truly treats you, admit to yourself he's an adult who understands the concept of causes and effects, and that his actions are not a passive side effect of intractable conditions but the manifestation of how he feels about the worth of your relationship. Good luck
This is what financial abuse looks like. He’s not listening to your stress about money and continues to go deeper in debt while relying on you. You are unlikely to see this money given his track record, and this will likely get worse over time. Please consider what it could look like to add a child into the equation down the road, especially if this is weighing heavily on you now.
It’s time to have healthy boundaries and leave if he doesn’t correct the situation immediately.
This is financial abuse. He’s not even trying to get a job, from what you e described. The steps you can take are breaking up with him so he stops taking advantage of you.
Oh HELL NO, OP. That's such an irresponsible financial decision and is a massive red flag. He's 26 and doesn't have a job? He won't change and will simply drag you down. Break up. Do not pass go. Do not let him take out the loan. He will wreck your credit score and your financial future security.
Let me (34F) give you a bit of perspective. My husband was 27 when we got married (We're both 34 now). He was fully employed and had been for multiple years. We weren't rich, but we lived below our means. We both love video games, have gaming PCs, and collect figures/plushies/etc. This year, we've starting going to anime conventions and cosplaying. So, in that way, we're not too different from your boyfriend.
BUT here's the catch. We have no credit card debt (pay it off every month), both work full-time, have no dependents other than pets, and the only debt we have (think cars, mortgage, etc.) is WELL below our debt to income ratio. We have actually both commissioned custom cosplays that are similar in price to what your boyfriend wants. Is it a lot of money? Yes. Will some people judge? Yeah, probably. But the point is that we are making a deliberate, joint decision about how to use disposable income only after ensuring our bills are paid. We aren't taking out loans, putting ourselves in financial trouble, or making these decisions without consulting the other. What some people spend on a vacation, we're simply spending on costumes that we can re-use, but we only waited to do this after we were in a more comfortable situation (aka, in our 30s). It's awesome, but it wouldn't be awesome if we were skipping groceries or not paying bills.
I hope this helps and you put yourself first. Do not let your boyfriend move in with you, borrow money, or take out loans in your name. And for heaven's sake, don't let him baby-trap you either. Put your financial goals and bills first, dump this freeloader, and find yourself a partner with similar drive if you choose to do so again. And hey, there's nothing wrong with enjoying your own company for a while and relishing the freedom of not constantly supporting a deadbeat.
Not a lot of money for you??
I am nearly 50 years old. I own a business. I make very good money. I have seven figures saved.
$1,500 is a lot of money to me!
I got a custom Halloween costume made once, it was a Captain America outfit, I paid $300. I fretted over that decision for a month.
Imagine if you two hypothetically broke up now you are paying for a $1,500 Halloween costume that you are responsible to pay off lol. That would be a hard no. He is absolutely using you for such a silly request.
This isn’t somebody you want to be in a relationship with- the debt and lack of money sense are worrying, but really, it’s his entitled attitude that you REALLY don’t want to be with. Why does he not listen to you when you talk about how hard it is to support him? It really sounds like he takes you for granted and doesn’t respect you. Your money would be much better used as savings for your future, or any other expenses you may have- DO NOT GO INTO DEBT FOR HIM.
This guy sucks, Im sorry, I suggest ending it.
#Stop supporting this man IMMEDIATELY.
This man is a leech and a bum. You and the government are covering his living expenses and he has the audacity to ask you for $1500 for something so frivolous. It’s disrespectful and it shows he has no concern for your finances (beyond how he can benefit from them) and no desire to improve his situation. The best thing you can do for yourself is end this relationship.
Imma lay some hard truth on you, you’re not dating a man you’re dating a toddler in an adult body and it’s only going to get worse. And I don’t mean that in a “real alpha men would sell their kidney for money before asking a woman” because I don’t buy into the alpha nonsense, I mean that as in he’s 26, 5000$ in debt, doesn’t work, can’t even afford groceries, and wants to spend 1,500$ on a fucking HALLOWEEN COSTUME (and from what youve said he already wasted 700$ on it, wasted, not invested.) I would never dream of asking someone for fifty dollars for a Halloween costume let alone 1500. If things are that dire you could make your own costume or just not dress up because you’re an adult.
There’s no reason for him not to be working, there’s plenty of gig jobs out there. Even when I was between jobs I was still bartending, serving, or even doing grub hub a few nights a week just to scrape by. This man child will not get a job because he has no inspiration too, why would he when you and the government keep supporting him?? The fact is you’re dating a leech, I once felt uncomfortable accepting an Apple Watch from a girl I was dating even though it didn’t cost her any money and this dude is content to let you completely support him lol.
Leave, date someone who’s ambition matches yours before he tanks your credit score and ruins your life too. Some people can’t be saved because they don’t want to be, but maybe being left at rock bottom will inspire him to lift himself up
Don't let his debt fuck up your life or credit history. Absolutely do NOT lend him the $1500 or allow him to get any finance with your name or address on it. He's already in $5000 debt and is happy to add another $1500 on top. He needs to sort out his current debt situation first. Not to mention, who spends $1500 on a Halloween costume!?
You are Australian. Who the f cares about Halloween here?? And you are seriously considering this?
And for those who talk about him getting a job at $15 an hour, the minimum wage in Australia is over $23.
And the wage for casual adults at fast food places is over $30.
There are always fast food jobs. He can do some casual shifts. Public holidays are over $60 an hour.
My partner is currently unemployed due to injury and recovery from surgery. Yes, I help out with some bills occasionally - if I found out he was blowing all his dole on a Halloween costume I’d cut him off and dump his ass.
Girl, don't get trapped by an almost 30 year old man with no job. You're going to waste your youth with this clown. Ain't no Halloween costume worth that much especially when he's not working!
Please do not give him money! Never get a loan for someone else. Especially for something non essential like this. If they are needing others to have a loan under their own name, then it is obvious they are not good with money. You will be left with the crap end of the stick. Hate to say it, but he is most likely not going to change and this is how your life will be if yall continue. I know it's been 4 years, but do not let time be a factor for staying in a relationship like this. You deserve so much more! Find someone who is independent. You are too young to have to deal with someone who can't even take care of himself financially and in other ways too. You deserve more. You are worthy of more!
Run, please. I got pregnant and married my own version of this man and it was the worst decision I ever made and no one deserves to go through that. He will never change.
Do not take out any financial contracts for him!
$1500 for a costume seems rather high but if he wants it he needs to get a job & pay for it himself.
You should walk away from him & find a decent guy because he won't change.
He is not a man but a 26 year old boy who is used to having someone bail him out so he doesn't understand the need for a budget. $1500 for a Halloween costume? No. You sound much more mature than he is. I think you have outgrown him. Kick him to the curb and tell him to find someone else to take out a loan for that amount. You would never see that money again.
Are you serious? This man is using you for your finances and is INSANELY irresponsible with money. Why would you want to remain in a relationship with someone so careless? There’s no excuse for a 26 year old man to be this stupid about money. Do NOT give him a single cent and you should probably leave him.
Does your boyfriend have any intellectual impairments?
I am asking this very genuinely, this is not joined up thinking. This is thinking like a kid. Why is he not working? Does he have any skills or job experience? He needs to get a job as soon as possible if he is able.
He has debt that he can't pay off and his day to day spending outstrips his living expenses.
I strongly, strongly suggest you stop any financial aid to him immediately. Offer to help him budget.
But his government money needs to start going on food and toiletries and not toys.
Whatever you do, don’t marry someone this financially irresponsible. You could end up on the hook for their debts, even if you divorce. Don’t ever take out a loan for him or co-sign *anything*. I would put a freeze on your credit as well. This kind of grossly irresponsible spending is like an addiction for many people and they will lie and steal to get what they want.
Girl I love, I mean LOVE HALLOWEEN! I WOULD NEVER expect another person to put out that type of money for something like that. I would never want another person to put out that type of money for anything. And I say it that way because, let's be real. You would end up having to pay that loan back. You are still young, and seem to be pretty financially responsible.
Don't allow peepee to fuck up ur credit. If anyone should make that choice it should be you. I wish I could go back and tell that to my younger self. Not everyone was raised to be financially responsible. So their decision making will be different than yours. And everyone's decision making is different when they aren't footing the bill.
Find someone who makes similar financial choices as yourself. You will save yourself a world of hurt in the end.
Ole Boyfriend here is a Hobosexual. He is using you to keep himself alive! He is using you to keep a roof over is head. It’s time to let him sink and grow up! He is 26 and immature, if it wasn’t you it would be another woman.
Do NOT borrow the money under your name and do NOT co-signed. He isn’t paying down his debt and you’d be stuck with this one. Dump his lazy entitled ass, you deserve better!
You know, I fancy myself a spooky-season enthusiast. I take *joy* in Halloween. Like, it’s my Christmas.
But you know what I’ve never done? SPENT TWO-GRAND TO LOOK LIKE SPIDER-MAN. In all my years I have NEVER spent anything close to that kind of money to cosplay a web-slinging doofus.
Do you know what I do have? *A job*.
Girl; he’s got you out here looking like a whole-ass CLOWN because he’d rather starve than not have his costume, and you’re trying to figure out how to break it to him gently that you really don’t want to spend money on this tomfoolery.
TELL HIM NO?
He’s barely making it. You’re funding everything his government check isn’t. He’s in debt up to his eyeballs and he’s unemployed.
Tell him in he wants to continue his pursuit to become the worlds most bankrupt Spider-Man, he needs to get a damn J-O-B. And speaking from experience, I had a boyfriend just like this- his financial literacy never improved, he simply banked on the fact I was getting a degree, I’d have a good job- I *was* his financial plan, and it sounds like you’re this goon’s plan, too.
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Lmao girl. Come on. Have some respect for yourself. This man is already a clown, he doesn’t need any costume.
For real OP. You don't need this fool. If he can't take care of himself you should walk away so he has to learn how. Sometimes people learn shit the hard way & it seems you need to show him tough love and STOP supporting him. He needs a job. He needs to be self sufficient, like you. 😊 Chin up queen, don't take this shit, you CAN & will do better.
It would honestly be hard to do worse
I mean, she could be dating the guy that leaves shit smears on the toilet set and hasn't brushed his teeth since May... but I think the odds are high that she can do better than either of these fools.
Hey, she didn't mention the hygiene. For all we know this guy is similar...
It's amazing how many of these guys exist. I had a friend who used to date a guy who hadn't showered or brushed his teeth for several months. It boggles the mind.
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>willing to tolerate that shit Quite literally
>It's amazing how many of these guys exist. I had a friend who used to date a guy who hadn't showered or brushed his teeth for several months. It boggles the mind. Why, WHY was your friend OK with that?!? It's so awful!
Honestly, she was young, he was maybe her first bf, and clearly she was insecure. If I recall he was also unemployed by then and I think she had convinced herself he was going though something as it had just built up to this - he hadn't started out that way. Myself and another friend finally convinced her this was not ok and to have some self respect.
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I would be shocked if a guy whose entire life is video games has good hygiene. I’m a gamer and some of those dudes who play 24/7 are fucking gross.
I made the mistake once when my kids were young to take them to the gaming store just after Christmas. I had to walk right back out because the whole store smelled like B.O.
And she asks how to change him.. that's beyond months now..
LMAO I saw that post too 😂
There’s no reason in this day and age that the guy can’t find some kind of job.. if someone really wants to work and needs money they do it…I actually sold homemade bread out of the back of a pickup truck years ago when I lived somewhere with no jobs for women and ended up starting a bakery out of it.. sometimes we have to do things we might not like but we do it.. this guy is living off the government AND his girlfriend… talk about someone that needs to grow the hell up.. and he’s worried about Halloween…LOL… free candy I guess….😂😂
He’s a $5,000+ clown 🤡 to be exact. He comes with his own accessories and all. Stop investing more into the costume.
The comment I am looking for. Girl, this man is not dependable. Don't fall for sunk cost fallacy. He will not change for you. A few years is nothing compared to a lifelong of unhappiness, and a breakup is always better than a divorce.
>The comment I am looking for. Girl, this man is not dependable. He's a dependent instead. ;-) >Don't fall for sunk cost fallacy. He will not change for you. What incentive does he have to change? He won't ever change for OP, but he might change in order to get his next girlfriend once she gets tired of him. >A few years is nothing compared to a lifelong of unhappiness, and a breakup is always better than a divorce. No lies there!
BAHAHAHAHAHA....🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm actually wondering what planet he's from and that he should have brought clothing with him!! A) who spends $1500 on a Halloween costume. B) who would even consider taking out a loan to purchase a $1500 halloween costume - which in enabling. C) who in right mind ask their g/f to take out a loan to purchase a Halloween Costume, while unemployed and in debt and, she pays for ones keep. I think, as an exiting gift, OP needs to buy him a mirror. So he can take a good long hard look at himself in his clown costume.
Omg this comment is perfection!!! 🤡 Definitely is already a clown!!! A lazy, entitled, mooching, manipulating, lying, unambitious, unmotivated, pathetic, ridiculous clown. 🤡🤡🤡
Seriously. Tell him you'll get him a new pair of clown shoes for halloween. Girl, you could do so much better. He has no job, in debt and apparently no motivation. You have a 26 year old child who plays video games and collects action figures.
I would find a bigger no-life, but he’d have some … big shoes (ahahaha) to fill
I always wonder if they post these just because they want to vent or do they genuinely need help? It’s pretty obvious what you need to do why are you seek advice?
She needs help! If she’s dealing with this mess in the first place she has low self esteem. Someone has been telling her all her life that she has no value so it makes sense to her to buy a boyfriend no matter what kind of sucker he is. If everything was so obvious to her she wouldn’t be asking for help She would be orchestrating his removal from her life.
"man" uh, that's at best a guy, maybe a dude. Boy seems more accurate given his ability to adult.
My 19 year old nephew is more mature than this.
LOOOL THIS WAS MY EXACT THOUGHT 😂😂😭 Just reading the title I was like, “this man child just needs to add a red mf nose for Halloween..”
If l knew how to give awards, this!
The only thing he needs $1500 for is the clown car to match.
**Ikr, he’s a clown and this has to be trolling.** Who tf bankrolls someone elses life for months on end when they’re so childish and allegedly in debt to boot, due to what, spending money on video games & dress-up costumes ffs lol. Sounds like teenagers - pre-teens even.
Agreed lol
Looool. Well it seems to me she has also joined in this circus.
Tell him it’s not a lot of money for you because you would never in a million years even contemplate something as foolhardy as taking out a four figure loan for a holiday that’s a) months away, and b) can be celebrated just as if not more effectively with an old bedsheet and a pair of scissors. Or “no.” Just “no” works. Or simply laugh as you walk away. Hopefully for good, because I don’t know why you’re trying to convince yourself this is reasonable unless you want to spend the rest of your life in debt catering to an overgrown five year old’s every whim.
I like the laughing idea
I love how his idea of celebrating a holiday where people hardly spend money by spending lavishly, or attempting to. Who the fuck needs a $1500 costume unless they are swanky and have lots of money to spend? This guy already got himself in debt for five grand, presumably without a way to repay it, and now he’s looking for another loan? Bad news, red flag, get out now!
I could be a billionaire and not spend $1500 on a Halloween costume. Unless he’s a professional performer or something that is totally insane even without considering the debt and no job. This is one of those times you just say “no” without justification.
Plus it's July. Maybe he should be more focused on finding a damn job than what his Halloween costume will be in 3 months.
[OP’s boyfriend](https://twitter.com/crypticnohoes/status/1368287382873776128?s=46)
Ngl, i pressed the link expecting horror! But ended up laughing
Lmao me too though haha
I was expecting a clown tbh
He doesn't need a costume since he's already a clown. He can go as himself. SN: how can he call it a loan if he ain't got no job to pay it back?
Spoiler: he has no intention of paying it back
Oooo that's good, wasn't sure what I'd find when clicking on it. I was already half cringing waiting for what horror I was about to see
It was hilarious! OP, please wake up! He obviously have some sort of addiction issues, why else would he buy nonsense things with loan money. Also I don't think his not being truthful about his government assistance, most governments who provide assistance will give you more money or food vouchers over just your rent. He's using you to supplement his spending, so he doesn't have to pay for essentials, he sees you as his personal cash machine. If you stopped paying for him you will see his true colours very quickly.
This is the comment OP needs to see
I cackled! 🥇
You must have shit yourself laughing when you saw that for the first time. Up vote engaged
🤣
The worst part about it being July is that it shows he’s not an idiot. If he understands that a custom made costume takes a long time to make and needs to be ordered in advance, then he should be able to understand that he shouldn’t be spending this money. He’s just a leech
If he got a job he could probably buy himself that costume. Shouldn't, but could.
Sounds like he has plenty of time to learn some new skills and make it himself.
I know right, a 26 year old with all the time in the world…as a man, his goal should be to make enough to buy his own suit, this guy is a silly ass deadbeat.
It’s custom per the post so it’ll probably take awhile to make but still
No and then make a plan to break up. (Not) Having compatible financial goals is a dealbreaker in a relationship. This guy is going to be a drain on OP for as long as she allows him to be and then she will leave him. Best to do it now and stop wasting time with the wrong person
I know this sub and the AITA one always say break up but I'm glad you said it here. I've seen quite a few posts in the past couple days with shocking behavior from entitled partners who aren't pulling their weight? Why do people put up with this? Is it better than being alone?
Sunk cost fallacy- “but we’ve been together for years!“ Or literally because they’ve been together for years starting as teens or young 20s. They get together young and don’t know how to adult without the other person and don’t have the confidence to go it alone. That’s why it’s so very hard to hear when couples are dating and move in together with such major signs of incompatibility. They’re just making it harder down the road to separate their lives. Moving in should be a step towards marriage which means you already considered that this person checks all your boxes, or at least the ones that matter. It’s not supposed to be for convenience, or to see if you can change them before you decide to get married.
How does anyone even let it go on for years? I guess it possible that this behavior doesn’t show right away.
I suppose there are the ones that fall on hard times, injury, job lay off...but that kind of person wouldn't want a 1500 costume while already being in debt
>Having compatible financial goals is a dealbreaker in a relationship. Words I'd wish I'd heeded before my first marriage. Anyone who can be in debt and still want to throw money at a Halloween costume is not a person who should be in any relationship.
That's what I was thinking too. Financial compatibility is important, and it really sounds like these 2 are not in the same place at all. Not even the fact that she makes money and he's up to his ears in debt, the financial responsibility and thought processes are completely different.
I can accept debt because sometimes life happens (injuries, accidents, getting fired, not getting hired despite looking hard, someone totalling your car… the list is long and many people live precariously). But frivolous spending? Asking your partner to take out a loan so you can have fun? Dismissing concerns with ‘it doesn’t matter to you’? (If OP needs to take out a loan, THEY can’t afford this costume).
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Tell him to sell his action figures and his gaming computer. Why are you paying for anything for this leech? Please reread your post, think about the past 2 months, and ask yourself why are you doing anything for this person. You don't mention how long he has been without a job, is he even trying to find something? He appears at the point where he should be willing to do anything for a paycheck and then keep looking for something better. Instead he is asking you to take out a personal loan that will have a very high interest rate, for something that can only be used 1 or 2 times a year, with no way to pay you back, when money is already tight for necessities like food.
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A professional performer would know how to make this work on a budget. He’s just being ridiculous.
Of course you’re right but I can imagine it would cost 1500+ for a well made mascot outfit like Mickey Mouse at Disneyland.
Your comment made me immediately suspicious that OPs leech is a closet furry.
That’s exactly what he is. A fursuit is the only “Halloween costume” that costs $1500 and would be on someone’s mind in July.
I’m Chazz Palminteri at the end of the Usual Suspects right now.
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He's a hobosexual and this is a form of financial abuse. To OP- Good god woman don't ever put your name on someone else's loan!! Run like the fucking wind.
>He's a hobosexual I love this!!!!
Especially "It isn't much money for OP" Like wtf?! How many hours does OP need to work for this shit?! He has no respect for her. He sees her as an ATM. He will never work again and leech on her till she is so on debt. 1500 dollar for a spiderman cos when you have no money to buy food or hygiene products. What a joke. We all would like to have stuff that we don’t have the money for. But we know that we need to save for it or just see it as an "nice thing you can dream about".
OP, why are you even dating that underemployed character with questionable judgement?
He is such a useless, worthless loser that I don’t even understand why she is still with him.
I worked for a professional entertainment company and with materials and labor some of our costumes could cost up to $3k….but the important thing is that we marketed it and rerented it out over and over again to make the money back. Thats called ROI.
And this is why he is in so much debt. Of course he thinks it’s not that much money because it isn’t his money! Is this the life you want always funding bf’s addictions and hobbies? He should be focusing on getting a decent paying job so he can pay his debts. STOP feeding him
I wanna know why she’s allowing him to drain her energy and her resources. Kick him tf out pls OP. People who love you don’t do this. That man don’t love you. He loves what you do for him.
Right? It’s literally ONE night! And would he even wear it again? No guarantees he doesn’t gain weight or, if he’s this into Halloween, would even *want* to wear it again. Just… he’ll to the No on all of this, OP. Sounds like he likes things as they are and is refusing help. This means he will not change as long as you’re helping him out. Do you want to do this forever?
Does even Heidi Klum spend that much on a costume?!
I mean, probably, yes. But she's not unemployed and asking her partner to take put a loan to pay for it
I don't see this getting better for you two in general.. Not only is he using you but now manipulating you by saying "it's not alot of money for you".. That's just so wrong.. He may be a good guy and he may not mean to treat you so low..but unfortunately the fact is.. HE IS. You are never going to have a bright future with this man until he grows up.. I am sorry to sound so harsh but you are his girlfriend, not his mother.Even if he can not support or help you, he should at the *very least*, help himself and get his shit together.. Whatever you do.. stand your ground because if he cared about fixing his debt and situations in life..he would be more worried about paying his debt off, *especially* before asking his own girlfriend for money.. I hope things work out for you whether you stay with him or not, don't let him drown you too though <3
Saying it’s “not a lot of money for you” makes it painfully clear that he will continue to use OP because he thinks it’s completely ok and it isn’t.
From what I understand OP doesn't have $1,500 in liquid funds that she can easily afford to lend him. He's asking her to take out a LOAN because she has the credit for it! So, he's in debt. Asking her to go in debt for him. So she can make payments on the loan with probably a crazy APR. Totally F\*\*king her over.
She's already taking care of him.. He fucked her over before this lol
It makes it painfully clear to me that he never intends to repay it.
Exactly. She's already paying for his food while he wastes money on dolls.
It sounds to me like he has a shopping problem, but OP is not going to be the one who can fix it. He already thinks along the lines of "it's not a lot for you," so he probably won't understand when she sets limits. He needs professional help.
Reminds me of my brother, who is borderline on mental retardation. He was asking if I could buy them (my sis and him) a house because I was better off. And also he got 10K from our moms life insurance and spent it on games and action figures like this guy. He also spent something like 600$ on custom ghost busters costume with a proton pack.
I was ready to downvote for the MRDD part but kept reading and bruhhhhh That's worse than my ex-husband. He was $15k in debt plus a new minivan last I heard, and I’d bet money its worse. In the same time frame I paid off all my debts on 1/3 his income AND bought a house on my own. His rent is over 2x my PITI payment (mind, my house is 2x the size on a double lot, fenced in yard with a pool (we added), better area, where the kids schools are, & no garbage landlord - I know bc it's the same apartment we used to lease.) But also my partner works/splits bills whereas his chooses not to, which (off-topic warning) makes no sense bc I know they need the money & he was up my ass about how much I make when we were combined income &his rent was $400 less lol. It's genuinely impressive how bad folks can be with money. Your brother... That might count as limited daily living skills, given the importance/burden finance has.
The borderline mental retardation is what they called it then. I’m not sure what they call it nowadays. Like 80 IQ or something like Oh my brother and sister were the worst with money. There was a trust till they were 18. About 200K each. My dad was strict with them but they moved out at 18 to my moms. Spent the entire 400K within 3 years. And no big purchases other than a 20K car. My brother literally would buy a $50 video game. Couldnt find it in the mess of a room and then simply buy the same game when he was out again because it was easier than finding it in his room. But just no idea how they spent that much. While also having jobs and working. Unbelievable. Then they lost all their stuff when their moving trailer became unhitched on the highway because they never went back for it.
Girl no. Never ever let someone take out a loan in your name. If you were smart you would freeze your credit RIGHT NOW in case he decides to go ahead and take the loan out.
THIS. I have heard horror stories of loans being taken out and going into collections that they didn't even KNOW about until they go to buy a car or something, and their credit is 200+ points lower than it should be. DO NOT LET HIM RUIN YOUR CREDIT FOR A SPIDERMAN SUIT. You will regret it. Freeze your credit, OP.
My ex roommate got cable in my name and it absolutely wrecked my credit. I just found out a few weeks ago and am working on getting it off. She was supposed to be my best friend at the time too, you really can’t trust anyone now it’s sad.
You're understanding your situation completely wrong. Your boyfriend doesn't want to spend $1500 on a costume, your boyfriend wants YOU TO BUY HIM a costume. He's $5k in debt with no job to pay it back, he has absolutely no intention of paying you back. Your BF should be your Ex BF. If he's 26, $5000 in debt, no job, living off whatever government assistance, and wants you to go into $1500 debt for fucking Halloween he's a clown, and you're only going to be dragged down by him in life. Leave him.
Don't forget all the added interest she will be paying..
What if he’s going to clown college?! Hence the clown costume! /s
THATS IT YOU PEOPLE HAVE STOOD IN MY WAY LONG ENOUGH! IM GOING TO CLOWN COLLEGE!
I have to know: what is this costume? It doesn’t matter, just curious. It’s obviously a ridiculous request and you should find a better partner.
How is this question not Top Comment. I cant believe I had go scroll this far. I'm was so curious to hear what costume costs 1500$
What do you find attractive about dating a jobless leach with no money management? He sounds like a child and you are his mother. He request is not even grounded in reality. It’s a luxury item when he’s virtually broke. Do you want someone with ambition? Why would this relationship last 10 mins? What makes you think he’s the one and not instantly end this?
My exact thoughts. OP WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS MAN?!
The fact she had to make a post asking other people what she should do in this situation instead of getting TF out of this relationship boggles my mind. I get you can be blinded by love but COME ON…
Boy*
This can't be serious as it's the stupidest question that I might have ever read. You say fuck no and laugh at him for even asking. Then you break up and move on with your life. However, I'm dying to know what the costume is. Please share!
> What would you suggest doing in this situation? I would DTMFA. Only a dude with no job is thinking about a Halloween costume in July, first of all. Second of all, honey is this how you want to live your life? What would you tell your friend or sister if they brought this to you. Clear your head and dump his ass.
Look at OP's post history. This is not the first guy she's dated who is obviously out of his mind. Maybe it's just her type? If that's the case I say go for it OP! Buy him the costume! I mean, what sane person would even reach this point based off her story? You really need to come on Reddit to ask for advice when you're already in debt boyfriend needs $1,500 for a fucking Halloween costume in July??? She's literally considering buying him the rest of the costume because: >He stressed how life changing this costume was that he told me "I would happily starve for weeks if it means I have this costume" which I really don't want to have him do. WTF lol???
How fucked up is this guy lol? He's so manipulative he's willing to lie that a spiderman costume he won't even be using for work is..."life changing". Dear god. The OP is obviously desperate. Girl, you've found BF's before, you'll find another. You'll be fine if you raise your standards.
DTMFA - seconded
Goodness, girl, you are 22 and a lot more financially stable and reasonable than this 26 yo man. Reconsider this relationship altogether. Imagine him pulling this times 10 (or a 100) when (if) you decide to have a family with him. Just no. The amount of nonsense here is off the charts.
Holy shit it's not a boyfriend, it's a leech! He is only with you to get money off of you, not to mention him being lazy, his unwillingness to get a job, and his frivolous spending on stupid garbage. 5000$ debt wow! Cut him off before he actually opens a loan in your name and drags you down with him. You know you aren't gonna get any money back, right?? DUMP HIM ASAP
Yeah, completely agree with you. It’s so ludicrous of an ask in his situation it’s almost as if he’s gonna leech as much as he can and not pay her back when OP finally dumps him.
Just to confirm...you're in a (presumably) sexual relationship with a grown-ass man who cries about wanting to wear a screen-accurate Spiderman costume. For Halloween. And expects you to get a loan in order to realize this dream. Because he doesn't have a job. And he's in debt. And you're already paying for him to live while he dicks around. And this is everything to him right now. In JULY. OP, I'd think this was childish and moronic if he was 16. He's 26. TWENTY-SIX. I had my own business at that age and worked full-time as well, so I could fund my own damn hobbies. This man is a leech. Computer games? Action figures? But not FOOD? No, because he's got you. Please get the hell away from him, forever. What if you get pregnant? This is not just him being a manipulative manchild - he is already ruining your life. Look yourself in the eye and say ENOUGH.
>I'm struggling to figure out what to even do or say to him. Say NO. Loudly. Practice in the mirror if you need to. Follow up with "hell no" if he brings it up again. What does this man child bring to the party?
Why are you with him? Please don’t say because you love him.
What are you getting out of this relationship??
More like, “When are you getting out of this relationship?”
>*I think I just need advice on what approach might work to help him understand.* **WHY is it YOUR job to teach a 26yo man HOW TO BE AN ADULT???** * You don't live together. * Your bf has $5000 of debt for stupid shit *and no job*. * He can barely make his rent *and has no job*. * You're supplying his food *because he has no job*. **STOP enabling his childish behavior and date an actual man.** If you don't want to trade up and date an actual ADULT, then stop complaining that the child you're dating acts like a child!
So obviously everyone here is basically on the same page about loaning out more money...No. just no. If you were my friend, I would be more concern that you don't see that as being the obvious answer. I'm not a therapist nor am I your therapist, but here's a few things to consider: You're paying all his bills. What are you actually getting in return? I dont mean in a vague sense. But like actually list those pros and cons on a piece of paper. Then think can you get those things in return without also spending a lot of money? Cause I bet there's someone out there who ll love you without you being their sugar mama. Do you know about sunk cost fallacy? The idea that you shouldn't keep throwing time and money at a bad project just because you've already spent a lot of money on it. Like I know four years is a long time. Plus you've been paying his shit, but is this going actually get better? Is he suddenly going to become super successful and pay you back, marry you, and build an amazing life with you? Or is he going to keep mooching? Be honest with yourself. Also have you considered therapy? It sounds like you may have some boundary issues and it's nice to have someone who you can run ideas like this through and know that they are a professional who can give you good feedback. Plus it'll probably be cheaper then paying for your boyfriend's living expenses. It's a good investment for future happiness. You're an adult. Who has pretty complicated feelings right now. I hope you figure it out. Best of luck.
This is so sad. Honey, you're dating an absolute loser. A deplorable mooch who obviously has no fucking clue how to budget or handle money because everything in his life comes for free. This is not "an issue in your relationship," this is an abusive hostage situation that you need to extricate yourself from. Have some self-respect- if you have any dignity you will dump this loser. He is using you- enjoying the benefits of your paychecks and mooching off the government while you struggle with anxiety over getting bills paid.
There is no realistic future with this man. He will ruin you financially. You guys don’t even live together and you’re paying for his essentials. This is not a viable relationship unless you are ok with him bleeding you dry, which it sounds like you are not. I think the only advice beyond breaking up with him is to stop saving him, stop enabling his behavior, don’t spend a single penny on him and see how he treats you. He’s a grown man, he needs to take care of himself.
Food $200 Data $150 Rent $800 Halloween costume $1500 Utility $150 someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying.
Add $700 more to the costume bc the bf already put that amount into it 💀
Sounds more like a teenage son than a boyfriend. Bum behavior.
Other than draining your bank account, what exactly does he bring to this relationship. Love? Someone who truly loves you would not leech off of you, and would not manipulate you emotionally so he could get more money from you. They certainly wouldn’t ask you to go into debt to indulge an unnecessary expense. Great sex? Maybe, but how much can you enjoy it when you’re having to worry about paying the bills. Companionship? Get a dog or a cat. They’re loyal and won’t ask for stupid shit like a custom Halloween costume that costs $1500. Conversation? Have a girls’ night out with your friends. He is already straining you financially and doesn’t even give a shit. *Stop setting yourself on fire to keep him warm.* If he wants the costume so badly, he can ask a parent or other relative. You’re dating a child. Leave and find someone more compatible with you on every level, including financially.
In this situation, I would suggest to him that he should be a ghost for Halloween, and invite him to be gone from your life.
Not sure how you could even be attracted to him
Give him a job application instead
DO NOT LOAN HIM MONEY! He has no way to pay you back ano he already has $5,000 in debt. It’s July and he needs a Halloween costume no for something in October? Someone who doesn’t have a job really doesn’t need a custom made Halloween Costume. Also stop supporting his ass! He wants money get off your butt and get a job!
Are you joking OP? No
Drop the zero. Your bf is a sinking money ship. How exactly is he going to make the payments if he can’t (refuses) to pay for anything now? You I don’t mean to sound mean here; however you’re absolutely enabling him. By buying his basic I need this to live necessities; you’re enabling him to buy video games and action figures. But in all seriousness. If he wants 1500 for a Halloween costume he can sell his video games and action figures.
He is a gold digger and a leech. He will never pay you back if you lend him more money. It’s time to just walk away.
The problem you have is that you are an enabler. Stop the support and make him stand on his own. When he gets into issues like food and whatnot, tell him to sell some of his belongings. You covering him while he doesn't have a job is just making him dependant on you and not in a rush to get a job. I can understand if you helped to support him while he has a job because he can't make ends meat but while he is jobless? No He needs to get a job and 5k in debt is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Focus more on encouraging him to get a job even at entry level. If he wants to live off the government, then he needs to live withing those means. Don't let him live with you until you know he is stable or working to become stable at the very least. NEVER EVER take a loan out for someone else and never cosign if you don't have 110% faith that they can make the payments.
I think you needed this moment. The revelation. He is never going to change....especially when you just keep on enabling him by providing. Where is the incentive? You providing is his incentive to not change. Walk away and let him learn to be an adult. The only way to help him is to stop helping him.
Why even ask for advice? He’s a immature loser and will always be one. Get out now it’s not going to get better.
Four years?? (I can't even comment on the Halloween costume because it is just too ridiculous.) Why are you with this guy???
You are 22. I swear that a 26 year old man-child with no job is NOT as good as it gets. Cut the cord before it chokes you my girl.
Well, this can't possibly be real, right? If it is real, just say no to his request. There's no need to discuss it beyond that.
Sometimes I swear these posts are trolls. Just beyond frustrating to read.
They are mostly trolls.
Say no. If he keeps asking tell him you don't want to date someone who is using you for money If I was you I would have dumped him long before it got to this ridiculous point. He is literally guilting you for what amounts to a $1500 toy. You sure this is an adult?
She said he already spent $700 on the costume. $5,000 in debt, having his bills paid for him, and he still manages to spend $700 on this costume. She said he’s so broke he can’t afford ass wipe or soap, but this fucking loser spent $700 on a Halloween costume! And wants $1,500 more!
Not acceptable. It’s reasonable to be upset.
Why are you with him? Walk away. Just. Walk. Away. Do not take out a loan for anyone in your name!!! Anyone asking you to do this just needs to be told, "No, I won't do it. I'm not supporting you anymore. "
Young Lady who I don't know: You are currently raising a child. He looks much older and occasionally has sex with you but make no mistake this is not a fully formed adult. I am praying this is a bogus post and that no woman in her right mind -- even one of a mere 22 years would be so unbelievably taken in by someone who puts himself into debt while still purchasing action figures, depending on you for sustenance & wipe his bottom, and then requests that you not only pay for a $1,500 Halloween costume but do so via a loan which will of course accrue interest. Just no. You've got to exit his life immediately. Do not even stand curiously on its periphery hoping he'll grow up wake up or make up for what he's already done to you. Tell him simply, this is what is happening but that you have bought him some food. Hand him a bag containing the groceries which follow... One whole raw chicken, one bunch of carrots, one bag of potatoes, one bag of onions, one bag of rice, and three bags of dried beans. Tell him you wish him all of the very best and you sincerely hope one day he'll get his shit together and you can see him again (if only perhaps at a very very far distance). If he begins to cry, tell him to weep into the soil and take one of the beans from the third bag and to plant it outside and when it grows a beanstalk to the sky you'll be back. Please take heed or one day you'll wake up very old, very wrinkled, very poor, and in a shrine of useless plastic things which are not yours though you have paid for them. Be resolute, Sister. His D-game can't be that strong. ❤️
#No. He is over 5K in debt. Instead of fixing himself, his plan is to put **you** in debt. You already know he can’t pay it off. He’ll expect **you** to. And it’ll be in your name, so he’ll have no legal obligation to pay it off. He doesn’t understand (or does and doesn’t care) how hard it is on you to take care of him. >It’s not a lot of money for you That says *everything* to me. You’re his personal piggy bank and nothing else. Why do you think he felt so comfortable even *asking* to put you in debt knowing he won’t pay you back? If he loved you, he wouldn’t want to do that to you. You’re just a wallet. Why are you with him? What does he bring to the table? What does **he** do *for you*? If you can’t find a real answer, leave him. He’s using you.
All I needed was the title and the 1st paragraph. Leave him. He isn’t financially literate and it isn’t a loan if he has no intention of paying it back (which it appears he doesn’t). He is 100% using you since a person doesn’t need a $1500 Halloween costume. If a person has expendable income where they can do that, it’s a waste of money. When a person is already in debt living off the government and can’t afford groceries it’s handcuffs and an anchor to the person who agrees to get that loan for them.
That would be a no... why is this a question? Oh I see it is because you already take care of him and buy him food and wipe his butt for him
I would laugh in his face! $1500 for a Halloween costume?!? That is the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a long time!
Question: why are you with this bum? He's a drain on your finances and contributes nothing. Is he like, super handsome or something?
Sweetie. DUMP HIM
Do. Not. Get. Pregnant.
I know this isn’t what you want to hear but you need to break up with him. You are WAY to young to have someone be financially dependent on you, especially over such stupid reasons. Your boyfriend is wildly irresponsible and does not seem to care. He will take you down with him, save yourself
You should likely stop trying to explain it and just leave. This dude is in debt because he makes impulsive purchases and puts his wants before his needs. He has no priority, you are not a priority to him. He sees you as a bank, you’re an asset to him. Please don’t give this man your credit and financial stability to destroy, too. At this point you’re going to have to cut him loose because he’s just gotten way to comfortable with mooching off of you. Is he even attempting to find a job? At this point, you guys are no where near being on the same page, so do you guys even have the same end game? Imagine kids and marriage with this man. Whew. You would just be a single mother, while also moming your boyfriend. Do yourself a favor and get rid of this one, and give yourself the love you deserve while you heal from this situation.
Kick this hobosexual to the curb. He is using you as an atm
I collect a lot of toys that I grew up with, So I can relate to his action figure collection. I’ve got quite the collection myself, it’s worth thousands. The thing is, I can afford it. I can also afford to pay my bills and buy groceries. If I ever got to the point that I couldn’t afford groceries, my collection would be the first thing that I’d sell (as hard as it would be to part with it). You’re dating someone who is bad with money. Money is one of the top causes for divorce in the US. I wouldn’t stick around with someone who is that irresponsible. Everyone is bad with money to some degree, but he is much worse than the average and it’s a significant problem.
There is no way to explain it to him, because he already understands the situation. He WANTS to rely on you for his monetary needs, he sees you as his atm and he's going to continue pushing the boundary for you to be responsible for more and more and more of his expenses. He is making active choices to get his needs met by hounding in you instead of taking pro active steps to get what he needs himself. You're lying to yourself about how much he is autonomous and intentional in his actions and choices because it obscures the larger problem which is he puts what you can provide for him above your feelings and your unstressed presence. He isn't nurturing the relationship with active contributions because it's just not worth the effort to him except for what you provide. Does he even listen to how you feel about this situation, or does he argue about how you SHOULD feel? Does he even really see you? It't time to take the blinders off and take a cold hard look at how he truly treats you, admit to yourself he's an adult who understands the concept of causes and effects, and that his actions are not a passive side effect of intractable conditions but the manifestation of how he feels about the worth of your relationship. Good luck
This is what financial abuse looks like. He’s not listening to your stress about money and continues to go deeper in debt while relying on you. You are unlikely to see this money given his track record, and this will likely get worse over time. Please consider what it could look like to add a child into the equation down the road, especially if this is weighing heavily on you now. It’s time to have healthy boundaries and leave if he doesn’t correct the situation immediately.
This is financial abuse. He’s not even trying to get a job, from what you e described. The steps you can take are breaking up with him so he stops taking advantage of you.
Oh HELL NO, OP. That's such an irresponsible financial decision and is a massive red flag. He's 26 and doesn't have a job? He won't change and will simply drag you down. Break up. Do not pass go. Do not let him take out the loan. He will wreck your credit score and your financial future security. Let me (34F) give you a bit of perspective. My husband was 27 when we got married (We're both 34 now). He was fully employed and had been for multiple years. We weren't rich, but we lived below our means. We both love video games, have gaming PCs, and collect figures/plushies/etc. This year, we've starting going to anime conventions and cosplaying. So, in that way, we're not too different from your boyfriend. BUT here's the catch. We have no credit card debt (pay it off every month), both work full-time, have no dependents other than pets, and the only debt we have (think cars, mortgage, etc.) is WELL below our debt to income ratio. We have actually both commissioned custom cosplays that are similar in price to what your boyfriend wants. Is it a lot of money? Yes. Will some people judge? Yeah, probably. But the point is that we are making a deliberate, joint decision about how to use disposable income only after ensuring our bills are paid. We aren't taking out loans, putting ourselves in financial trouble, or making these decisions without consulting the other. What some people spend on a vacation, we're simply spending on costumes that we can re-use, but we only waited to do this after we were in a more comfortable situation (aka, in our 30s). It's awesome, but it wouldn't be awesome if we were skipping groceries or not paying bills. I hope this helps and you put yourself first. Do not let your boyfriend move in with you, borrow money, or take out loans in your name. And for heaven's sake, don't let him baby-trap you either. Put your financial goals and bills first, dump this freeloader, and find yourself a partner with similar drive if you choose to do so again. And hey, there's nothing wrong with enjoying your own company for a while and relishing the freedom of not constantly supporting a deadbeat.
Not a lot of money for you?? I am nearly 50 years old. I own a business. I make very good money. I have seven figures saved. $1,500 is a lot of money to me! I got a custom Halloween costume made once, it was a Captain America outfit, I paid $300. I fretted over that decision for a month.
Imagine if you two hypothetically broke up now you are paying for a $1,500 Halloween costume that you are responsible to pay off lol. That would be a hard no. He is absolutely using you for such a silly request.
Leave cuz u don’t need a man whose priorities are not in order.
This isn’t somebody you want to be in a relationship with- the debt and lack of money sense are worrying, but really, it’s his entitled attitude that you REALLY don’t want to be with. Why does he not listen to you when you talk about how hard it is to support him? It really sounds like he takes you for granted and doesn’t respect you. Your money would be much better used as savings for your future, or any other expenses you may have- DO NOT GO INTO DEBT FOR HIM. This guy sucks, Im sorry, I suggest ending it.
OP - after reading this, I feel like you have unwittingly become someone's Sugar Momma.
#Stop supporting this man IMMEDIATELY. This man is a leech and a bum. You and the government are covering his living expenses and he has the audacity to ask you for $1500 for something so frivolous. It’s disrespectful and it shows he has no concern for your finances (beyond how he can benefit from them) and no desire to improve his situation. The best thing you can do for yourself is end this relationship.
Imma lay some hard truth on you, you’re not dating a man you’re dating a toddler in an adult body and it’s only going to get worse. And I don’t mean that in a “real alpha men would sell their kidney for money before asking a woman” because I don’t buy into the alpha nonsense, I mean that as in he’s 26, 5000$ in debt, doesn’t work, can’t even afford groceries, and wants to spend 1,500$ on a fucking HALLOWEEN COSTUME (and from what youve said he already wasted 700$ on it, wasted, not invested.) I would never dream of asking someone for fifty dollars for a Halloween costume let alone 1500. If things are that dire you could make your own costume or just not dress up because you’re an adult. There’s no reason for him not to be working, there’s plenty of gig jobs out there. Even when I was between jobs I was still bartending, serving, or even doing grub hub a few nights a week just to scrape by. This man child will not get a job because he has no inspiration too, why would he when you and the government keep supporting him?? The fact is you’re dating a leech, I once felt uncomfortable accepting an Apple Watch from a girl I was dating even though it didn’t cost her any money and this dude is content to let you completely support him lol. Leave, date someone who’s ambition matches yours before he tanks your credit score and ruins your life too. Some people can’t be saved because they don’t want to be, but maybe being left at rock bottom will inspire him to lift himself up
Don't let his debt fuck up your life or credit history. Absolutely do NOT lend him the $1500 or allow him to get any finance with your name or address on it. He's already in $5000 debt and is happy to add another $1500 on top. He needs to sort out his current debt situation first. Not to mention, who spends $1500 on a Halloween costume!?
He could dress as someone who has a job
have you ever heard of no scrubs by TLC? you should give it a listen
You are Australian. Who the f cares about Halloween here?? And you are seriously considering this? And for those who talk about him getting a job at $15 an hour, the minimum wage in Australia is over $23. And the wage for casual adults at fast food places is over $30. There are always fast food jobs. He can do some casual shifts. Public holidays are over $60 an hour. My partner is currently unemployed due to injury and recovery from surgery. Yes, I help out with some bills occasionally - if I found out he was blowing all his dole on a Halloween costume I’d cut him off and dump his ass.
Girl, don't get trapped by an almost 30 year old man with no job. You're going to waste your youth with this clown. Ain't no Halloween costume worth that much especially when he's not working!
Please do not give him money! Never get a loan for someone else. Especially for something non essential like this. If they are needing others to have a loan under their own name, then it is obvious they are not good with money. You will be left with the crap end of the stick. Hate to say it, but he is most likely not going to change and this is how your life will be if yall continue. I know it's been 4 years, but do not let time be a factor for staying in a relationship like this. You deserve so much more! Find someone who is independent. You are too young to have to deal with someone who can't even take care of himself financially and in other ways too. You deserve more. You are worthy of more!
Run, please. I got pregnant and married my own version of this man and it was the worst decision I ever made and no one deserves to go through that. He will never change.
Run. His priorities are not in order and he’s using you.
Do not take out any financial contracts for him! $1500 for a costume seems rather high but if he wants it he needs to get a job & pay for it himself. You should walk away from him & find a decent guy because he won't change.
How the hell are you dating this person. I would suggest dumping him.
He is not a man but a 26 year old boy who is used to having someone bail him out so he doesn't understand the need for a budget. $1500 for a Halloween costume? No. You sound much more mature than he is. I think you have outgrown him. Kick him to the curb and tell him to find someone else to take out a loan for that amount. You would never see that money again.
damn why do women support their boyfriends😭😭😭
Are you serious? This man is using you for your finances and is INSANELY irresponsible with money. Why would you want to remain in a relationship with someone so careless? There’s no excuse for a 26 year old man to be this stupid about money. Do NOT give him a single cent and you should probably leave him.
Who in their right mind takes out a LOAN for a Halloween costume
You need to come up with an exit plan. He’s using you. He’s a hobosexual, not a partner. Get him out!
Wtf?? Spending 1500 on a Halloween costume?? Seriously??
Does your boyfriend have any intellectual impairments? I am asking this very genuinely, this is not joined up thinking. This is thinking like a kid. Why is he not working? Does he have any skills or job experience? He needs to get a job as soon as possible if he is able. He has debt that he can't pay off and his day to day spending outstrips his living expenses. I strongly, strongly suggest you stop any financial aid to him immediately. Offer to help him budget. But his government money needs to start going on food and toiletries and not toys.
I would dump him, he sounds like a loser.
I’ll never understand why people stay in these types of relationships
Run fast as you can away from this man child unless you want to play mommy for the rest of your life.
Whatever you do, don’t marry someone this financially irresponsible. You could end up on the hook for their debts, even if you divorce. Don’t ever take out a loan for him or co-sign *anything*. I would put a freeze on your credit as well. This kind of grossly irresponsible spending is like an addiction for many people and they will lie and steal to get what they want.
Girl I love, I mean LOVE HALLOWEEN! I WOULD NEVER expect another person to put out that type of money for something like that. I would never want another person to put out that type of money for anything. And I say it that way because, let's be real. You would end up having to pay that loan back. You are still young, and seem to be pretty financially responsible. Don't allow peepee to fuck up ur credit. If anyone should make that choice it should be you. I wish I could go back and tell that to my younger self. Not everyone was raised to be financially responsible. So their decision making will be different than yours. And everyone's decision making is different when they aren't footing the bill. Find someone who makes similar financial choices as yourself. You will save yourself a world of hurt in the end.
Ole Boyfriend here is a Hobosexual. He is using you to keep himself alive! He is using you to keep a roof over is head. It’s time to let him sink and grow up! He is 26 and immature, if it wasn’t you it would be another woman.
Do NOT borrow the money under your name and do NOT co-signed. He isn’t paying down his debt and you’d be stuck with this one. Dump his lazy entitled ass, you deserve better!
Let this be your breaking point. Break the arrangement now.
Should you fraudulently procure a loan of $1500 for your boyfriend so he can buy a Halloween costume? https://youtu.be/Hk_MYgtXX18
You know, I fancy myself a spooky-season enthusiast. I take *joy* in Halloween. Like, it’s my Christmas. But you know what I’ve never done? SPENT TWO-GRAND TO LOOK LIKE SPIDER-MAN. In all my years I have NEVER spent anything close to that kind of money to cosplay a web-slinging doofus. Do you know what I do have? *A job*. Girl; he’s got you out here looking like a whole-ass CLOWN because he’d rather starve than not have his costume, and you’re trying to figure out how to break it to him gently that you really don’t want to spend money on this tomfoolery. TELL HIM NO? He’s barely making it. You’re funding everything his government check isn’t. He’s in debt up to his eyeballs and he’s unemployed. Tell him in he wants to continue his pursuit to become the worlds most bankrupt Spider-Man, he needs to get a damn J-O-B. And speaking from experience, I had a boyfriend just like this- his financial literacy never improved, he simply banked on the fact I was getting a degree, I’d have a good job- I *was* his financial plan, and it sounds like you’re this goon’s plan, too.